All Episodes

February 5, 2024 48 mins

Welcome back to the Granger Smith Podcast!  In this podcast, one listener, identified as Anonymous, seeks advice from Granger regarding a concerning situation at their church involving the pastor's son. They describe the pastor's son as making inappropriate jokes, racist remarks, and delivering a sermon about hypocrisy, leaving them unsure how to address the issue and questions whether they have the right to hold the pastor's son accountable, considering their affiliation with the church.

In a subsequent question, Granger responds to a listener named Jessie who poses a thought-provoking question: Did God want Eve to sin?

Granger expresses enthusiasm for grappling with such profound queries and emphasizes their commitment to not providing definitive answers but rather modeling how to approach challenging questions through a biblical worldview.

If you have a question you'd like answered on the podcast, drop Granger an email at Podcast@GrangerSmith.com

---

 

This podcast is brought to you by: Shopify

Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/Granger.

 

This podcast is also brought to you by: SongFinch.

For a limited time, Songfinch is letting our listeners upload their song on Spotify for FREE so you can listen to your new favorite song anywhere you go.

Go to SongFinch.com/GRANGER and start your song – after you purchase, you’ll be prompted to add Spotify Streaming for your original song for FREE! That’s a $50 value!

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Mark as Played
Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
If you're a human, you qualify you're a hypocrite. What's up, everybody,
Welcome back to the podcast. Thanks for being here. My
name is Granger and this is episode two twenty four.
If you've been here for a long time and you've

(00:21):
seen this podcast evolve over the years, welcome back. If
you're brand new, I'm glad you made it. What we
do here is we answer your questions. You could email
me podcast at grangersmith dot com. Just walk through it casual,
like we're sitting at dinner, like we're sitting around a campfire,
like we're riding in a truck. You asked me a question,
I don't have any notes in front of me, and

(00:42):
we just kind of walk through it like two friends.
First question here comes from Katie says, Hey, Granger, I've
loved your book and gained so much wisdom and perspective
from reading it. I'm reaching out because, similar to y'all,
we've had challenges conceiving. We're so grateful to have two beautiful,
healthy daughters who were conceived easily. We always wanted a

(01:05):
third child, but it has not been possible, even with
initial interventions. I U I. We are now faced with
the choice of moving into IVF or making peace without
a third child. I'm really struggling with this decision and
feel as if a third child is not God's will
for us. Therefore, if we pursue IVF, are we going

(01:28):
against God's will. It's this all a lesson to be
grateful for the incredible gifts we've already been given versus
wanting more. I would love your perspective in how to
think about and pray about this big decision. I've loved
watching your story unfold in the past year, and it's
so inspiring to see you embrace your god giving purpose.
Thank you, Katie Hey, Katie Hey, thanks for your question.

(01:51):
Thanks for emailing. It's a great one. I love the
way you're thinking through these things. And partly what I
do on this podcast is is not to tell people
I'm right. That's not my goal. My goal is to
to help people think through a logical question with a

(02:11):
biblical worldview. Really, like, if that was a subtitle, this
podcast would be helping people like you think through common
problems with a biblical worldview, right, And it's so it's not.
It's not helping you get the answer right. There's a
difference between helping you get the answer and just helping

(02:33):
you with the starting point of thinking through it. That's
all that I hope to provide. I hope to be
that kind of encouragement because otherwise I'm not always right.
You know, I'm not gonna I'm not gonna sit here
and tell you here's the right answer, but I gonna
tell you I could tell you here's how we should
be thinking about this. So first of all, I don't

(02:54):
I don't want to over spiritualize anything in life. If
you've heard me before, I think think we should always
have caution in over spiritualizing, meaning I don't want to
look at this and go God is trying to tell
me an answer about a third child. He's sending me
a message in a bottle. But I'm not quite sure

(03:15):
how to how to decipher this foreign language that God
has now sent me. It's like, no, he didn't send
you a magic language that you need to decipher that
came through the clouds or the bottle in the ocean,
or there's like billboards and you're seeing certain letters and
if you add up the letters, subtract them with the

(03:37):
dream that you had last night, plus your husband just
now had a revelation at work from his boss who
says his favorite movie is this. And if you take
that title and the middle word in that title is this,
and guess how long the movie is. It's one hour
and twenty one minutes long. All this comes together and
says God is trying to tell us. It's like, come on, y'all.

(03:57):
I mean, let's not do this. It's not biblical. And
then it's just not logical. It's not rational. Do you
think God Creator would give you some kind of morse
code that you need to set out and decipher like
you're living in the movie National Treasure. No, it's just so,
that's what I mean. I overdid that whole thing. But

(04:20):
I just don't want us to overspiritualize, because then that
is just not Christianity. God is a God who speaks,
and he's a God who speaks clearly and definitively, and
he speaks through his son and his ever living, breathing
Word of God. The Bible right in the beginning he
spoke through the prophets, and in the last days he

(04:42):
spoke through the Sun. That's what the Bible says, the
son Jesus. So we know what God's intentions are through
reading the Bible, and we can't make that too complicated.
So with all I said, what I just said, let's
take that and then pour that on top of this question. Right,

(05:05):
Your question is there's a couple of them. Are we
going against God's will to pursue IVF. Let's start with
that one. You said, we're now faced with the choice
moving into IVF or making peace without a third child.
In fact, let's start there, because that's not your final option.
That's not where the book closes. Because you've said you've

(05:29):
said nothing about adoption, And I think adoption is a
beautiful thing. In fact, I think it's something that all
of us should consider. I think it's a calling that
all of us should be praying through and praying for.
Don't close the door to all the children in your
family just because it's not biologically possible. We should always

(05:53):
be praying and thinking and asking, saying, God, if there's
another baby in this world that needs our house. Lord,
opened my heart to that, open my eyes to that.
I am your servant on this or that's all I am. Lord.
Let me be your servant. Let me be available to
you God, to serve you to your needs. If there

(06:14):
is another baby out there, we'll take it right. I
want that to be part of this discussion. I want
that to be part of your question, and I hope
that it is, and that's why I said it that way.
So then we move on to the second part of
the question. If we pursue IVF, are we going against
God's will? That's a complicated question from a dad who's

(06:37):
been through IVF. The decision that Amber and I made
according to God's will. Once again, we can understand his
will by reading the Bible, and it's not hard. There
are many dangers and evils in IVF, and part of
it is. One of the things is the fact that

(06:58):
you have all these embryo leftover ethically, morally, biblically, what
do we do with the extra embryos that are made
Lord willing? That's something you have to wrestle with. Now.
IVF is science. God is science, so that like science,

(07:21):
does not go against God. He's the creator. He made science,
like science exists because God exists. We can't. We have
to reconcile that we can't go well, these two things,
this is science and this is God, so they don't
go together. That's absolute garbage. God is science. God created science,
just like he created art in music and mathematics. You know,

(07:46):
he is a creator. He is the great intelligent designer.
Of course he is science. So so in a way
God is behind IVF listen, long story. But in my
book Like a River, the way that this, the way
I had a better understanding about this idea is in

(08:08):
terms of gardening, right, And Lincoln asked me, he said, Dad,
does God make all the trees and man makes some
of the trees. And he's thinking, because we plant trees,
like we go to the nursery, right, and we buy
a seed, or we buy a tree and we plant it,
and then there's the wild trees that live in the forest.
And in his mind at the time when he said

(08:29):
it was like seven years old, six years old. So
it's like he's thinking, God makes those wild ones in
the forest. But then there's also the ones that man
makes out of seed. And I had to correct him
in that and say, no, buddy, God makes all the trees.
Sometimes man plants the seed, right, So that's the difference.

(08:51):
God makes all the trees. It's the same thing with babies.
And through the new technology, the new science of IVF,
God makes all the babies. God ordains all the babies.
There is no baby born without the hand of God
all over it. And there's no baby that's not born
without the hand over that from God. God either allows

(09:14):
it or he doesn't. He ordains it, or he doesn't.
He wills it, or he doesn't, including IVF, including all
of science, because that's who he is. But in the
case of IVF, God makes all the babies. But sometimes
man plants the seed. That's the case with IVF, and

(09:35):
that's the case with buying a tree at a nursery,
or buying a seed of a vegetable of a tomato
plant at the nursery instead of the wild one grilling. Okay,
so you have to reconcile that. You have to pray
through that. What are the evils that come with that?
What are the evils? And one of the things is
too many embryos? Are you willing? This is this is

(09:58):
the decision Amber and I had to make. Are we
willing to implant all of the embryos so that none
go to waste, none go to science or another family
or research or the trash. Ambers said, I will take

(10:18):
all of the embryos it just so happens we were
only left in the end with one another, just clear
distinct piece of evidence of God's providence. We were only
left with one in the end, and it ended up
being our baby, Maverick. Are you willing to reconcile that?

(10:46):
And then the last part of this says, is this
all a lesson to be grateful for the incredible gifts
were already given versus wanting more? Once again, this goes
back to overspiritualizing a fundamental biblical concept. So you're wondering,
is this God? Is God showing me through this spiritual

(11:11):
story that He's created around me that this is really
all of this really is a setup so that I
will just be grateful for what I've already been given
instead of wanting more. Maybe that's what God's doing. It's like,
hold up, pause, take a break. Here's where Katie. I'm

(11:32):
not at all blaming you, but this is where like
strange nominal Christianity starts creeping in the idea. Think about this,
Let me rephrase it for you, let me say it
in another way. God sees all the things that happened
in your life, and sometimes rarely he intervenes with something

(11:59):
that is supposed to make you grateful for what you've
been given and not wanting more. Or are we always
supposed to understand that reality when we read through the Bible,
when we read through the teachings of the Gospels, do
we not always get that feeling from Jesus that he's

(12:19):
trying to tell us be grateful now, don't worry about tomorrow.
When we hear the teachings of the apostle Paul, when
he says I have learned to be content in all situations,
he said all situations. Not I have learned to be
content because of this one time. God gave me this

(12:39):
scenario that played out, and that all he wanted me
to see was how to be content. No, he says,
all situations. So that's just a given, Katie, that you
should be grateful for the gifts that you've already been
given in versus wanting more all the time. That's the
essence of being a Christian. So take that as just
a big unbreather, a thought that's difficult to grasp, but

(13:03):
you have to lean into that, not because of some
magical situation that's popped into your life. You could use
these situations absolutely but fundamentally that just should always be
taken in the background. Be grateful for what I have now,
whether it's fifty children or one child, or if you
lose the last one you got, be grateful for what
you have, not because of a certain scenario, but because

(13:26):
that's what you're called to be as a believer. I
think I think I have run this question pretty much
into the ground, and I hope that that's helpful for you, Katie.
I still remember whenever I started grangersmith dot com, whenever
that website was brand new. That was twenty six years ago.

(13:49):
Can you even believe that it's been so long? And
I had maybe an online store, I don't know. I
don't know how I possibly sold it anything. I don't
know why anyone would care. But I did have a
few T shirts and some CDs in my apartment kitchen,
and then either me or my mom would mail those out.
Sometimes I would say, hey, Mom, there's there's a T

(14:11):
shirt that sold last week. Now that really that is
the ancestor of EE dot com. Really, I mean that's
where EE Apparel started. I know we say that it
was founded in twenty eleven, but really, if you go
back to when I was a country artist. It goes
all the way back to like two thousand and two.
I would say that the number one way that we

(14:32):
started managing orders in an efficient way when we started
gaining popularity around the country was with Shopify. Because we
didn't know coming from those old days, we didn't know
how to sell e commerce and how to take orders
and how to do that efficiently. But that's where Shopify
came in and changed the game for us. And it's

(14:53):
so easy all because I use Shopify. Shopify is the
global commerce platform that allows you to sell it every
stage of your business, from the launch your own online
shop stage to the first real life store stage, all
the way till did we just hit a whole bunch
of orders stage? Shopify is there to help you grow.
It doesn't matter if you're selling outdoor apparel like we do,

(15:15):
or candles or scented soaps, whatever you're selling, Shopify is
going to help you sell everywhere. From their all in
one e commerce platform to their in person pos system.
Wherever and whatever you're selling, Shopify has got you covered.
Shopify helps turn your browsers into buyers with the Internet's
best converting checkout thirty six percent better on average compared

(15:36):
to other leading commerce platforms, sell more with less effort
thanks to Shopify Magic, your AI powered all star. It's
not just EEE Apparel, and it's not just Grangersmith dot
com and ee dot com that's been using Shopify and
sees great results from it so that we could focus
on our creative stuff and not on the techi stuff. No,
it's not just dus. Shopify powers ten percent of all

(16:00):
e commerce in the US. It's also in one hundred
and seventy five countries. Shopify's award winning help is there
to support your success every step of the way. Because
businesses that grow grow with Shopify. Sign up for a
one dollar per month trial period at shopify dot com
slash Granger all lowercase. Go to shopify dot com slash

(16:21):
granger right now to grow your business no matter what
stage you're in Shopify dot Com slash Granger. Next question
comes from anonymous. It says, Hey, Grainger, I have a
situation I need advice on regarding my church and pastor's son.
The pastor's son preaches a sermon every now and then.
I work with him and notice he makes perverted and

(16:44):
cruel jokes as well as racist remarks. I have a
feeling he's a product of raising. I have a feeling
he's a product of his raising, and that his father,
the pastor, may be the same way. The son's last sermon,
he spoke on acting way at church and another way
at work. He also spoke on how he confronted someone

(17:05):
we work with about them acting one way at church
and another way at work, and he told the guy
that he was going to hell. I found that hypocritical,
and I don't know how to go about it. Do
you believe I have the right to hold him accountable
for this and bring it to his attention concerning considering

(17:25):
I'm a part of the church. Also, do you recommend
visiting new churches or staying at my current church? All right, Anonymous,
thanks for the email. A lot of stuff regarding this
is serious stuff, and I don't know the whole story,
and I don't know you, which creates a problem for me.
Since I don't know you, and I wish I did,

(17:48):
it makes it more difficult for me to step into
this situation right off the bat boom. First thing we
need to understand is, first of all, there's hypocrites in
the church. You should know that. But there's hypocrites everywhere,
in every business and every organization, and if you're a human,

(18:12):
you qualify you're a hypocrite. The only difference should be
in the church. The only difference is in the Church,
we know we're hypocrites because we know we're sinners. So
that's the difference in hypocrites in the Church and hypocrites
in the world. Hypocrites in the Church at least will
admit I'm a hypocrite, and we welcome all hypocrites to

(18:37):
join us on a Sunday morning. You need to understand too,
that when we judge like this in the Bible, people constantly,
out of context will throw out don't judge, don't judge,
don't judge. But what we need to understand is what
the Bible's saying when it says don't judge, is don't judge,
or you will be judged by the same measure that

(18:58):
you're judging, which makes judging. It's actually good. It's a
good thing to correct and rebuke from scripture patiently, right
in love. But beware that what you're rebuking, what you're correcting,
what you're judging, needs to be and demands to be

(19:19):
judged and correct and rebuked back by the same measure
to what you're doing. So have you checked yourself? Here's
my point, Anonymous. Have you checked yourself to see if
the speck that you're trying to get out of your
brother's eye is bigger than the log that you have
in your own eye. So we have to think about
look at yourself first, look in the mirror first, right,

(19:40):
how you do it, Anonymous? Like, because that's why I hesitate,
because I don't know you. Are you just one of
those people that goes to church And it's like, man,
that Pastor Son, And I don't like that Pastor Son.
He just does this and that and says this and that,
and he crewed jokes all the time. And I think
it's a product of his raisin. And you know what,
I think he's probably racist. And you know what, I

(20:01):
just don't. I think I should go somewhere else. And
And is that you, because there's a lot of that
or if I knew you, this would help, or you
just like sincerely crying for help, and like Granger, Hey,
I've read first and second Timothy, I've read Titus, Hebrews, Acts,

(20:25):
all the places in the Bible that give us the
qualifications for an elder granger. I've gone through these. I
know what it takes to be an elder or a
pastor according to the Bible, not according to my own thoughts.
And this guy's not qualified. And so if that's you,
and you're truly being faithful and sincere about this out

(20:48):
of love, then I say, okay. If you have read first,
second Timothy, Titus, Hebrews Action, and you know all the
qualifications of an elder, and then you go and and
then you sit down and you say, can I have
lunch with your pastor? Or can I grab coffee with
you and tell you some concerns I have? And if

(21:09):
your argument is biblically grounded, not your personal opinion, and
you have evidence with it, then the pastor says, you're wrong.
This is my son. He's awesome, he's amazing, he's gonna preach.
And then you go, yes, sir, I just I would
like to let you know I'm gonna i'd be looking
for another church. And it's it's this is the concern

(21:32):
I have. And I hope that this is an encouragement
to you. From what I see. I don't mean to
be a burden on your pastor. But I hope that
this can be an encouragement that what I see in
scripture is not lining up with what I'm hearing on
a Sunday morning. And if I'm wrong about that, which
I might be because I don't know a lot, But
if I'm wrong about that or about that, then I

(21:53):
hope you can correct me. And I hope that I could.
I could come back and this could be my church home.
But right now I think I'm gonna be looking around
for another church. So, Anonymous, I think that that's the
way that you need to go about it, as opposed
to just disappearing no one ever heard from you. Again,
if your church is so big that you don't even
have the ability to sit with your pastor or have

(22:14):
coffee with him, then that's another problem. Your church is
too big. The sheep should have access to the shepherd, right,
What else? What else is going on going on in
this question? The the perverted, cruel jokes and racist remarks.
If that's true, you're then you're absolutely right. I don't
want to sit here and just throw stones and dogpile

(22:38):
on this thing that I don't know anything about. I
don't know what you're talking about with perverted, cruel, joke,
racist remarks. I don't know what that means. I don't
know what you're I don't know where you're coming from,
so I can't I can't pile on that. But if
it's true and that's that really is what's happening, then
then you're absolutely right. The guy's not qualified. According to
first Timothy tewond Timothy Titus, he brief's acts, et cetera,

(23:01):
then he's not qualified. And the last thing, here's the
last thing I want to say. You briefly mentioned in
this second paragraph here about he spoke in church about
acting one way at work and acting with one way
at church. I don't know what you're talking about, and
I don't know what he's talking about, but I would
highly encourage you in everyone listening, to be in a

(23:24):
church that preaches expositionally, meaning the pastor. And I believe
I've said this previously in other episodes, but I'll say
it in every episode because it's that important to find
a church where your pastor preaches from the Bible, working
through it with some kind of system where he's working

(23:46):
through a book in the Bible. And this needs to
be the majority of the teaching that happens at your
church on a Sunday. Now there are exceptions to that,
and there should be. There should be breaks in between
the books, brief topical messages. I understand that. But the
majority of the teaching that comes from the pulpit on

(24:07):
a Sunday morning at any given church should be expositional.
Meaning the pastor or the preacher is preaching through a book.
In the Bible, verse by verse, the context of the
original author is the context that the sermon should be.

(24:28):
So whatever the original author was writing about, whatever his
point was, that's the point of the pastor on the
Sunday morning, not the pastor's own point that he's trying
to use the Bible to support. There's a big difference
in that there's a fine line that's actually a massive

(24:48):
grand canyon if you don't see it right, Because a
lot of pastors will say, or excuse me, not pastors,
a lot of churchgoers will say, my church preaches from
the Bible. And to that I say, well amen. If
they didn't preach from the Bible, it wouldn't even be
considered Christian, it would be a ted talk. So, of course,

(25:13):
but that's not what I'm talking about. Your church preaches
from the Bible. I get it, of course, it's Christian.
What I'm talking about is preaching expositionally, is taking, say
the Book of Mark, and for the next thirty Sundays,
twenty Sundays, even ten, even fifty whatever, we're going to

(25:36):
be in the Book of Mark, starting with the beginning,
and guess where we finish when the when the sermon
series is over at the end. We're working through systematically,
or it could be a part, but regardless, you're working
verse by verse and your your point from the pulpit
is the point that Mark is making. Okay, then you

(25:58):
can apply what Mark was teaching to his people in
that writing. You could apply that to the modern hearer.
But that happens after you've looked through the lens of
the Bible itself, as opposed to looking through a cultural
lens with what we want to hear in our modern context,

(26:20):
looking through that lens at the Bible. Instead, you're taking
the Bible and looking through it at the culture. Does
that make sense? That would be what I would say
is good grounded biblical teaching and a healthy church. Next
question comes from Rolando says, Hey, Grangeer, I wanted to

(26:40):
ask what do you think about family businesses. I'm twenty four,
I'm married, already have a son, my two brothers, and
I work with dad on his farm, and sometimes it
doesn't seem to work very well. What are your opinions
on families working together? Brother? I'm glad you asked it.
I have a different opinion than my dad. And my
brother had worked with his brother for many, many years, decades,

(27:03):
and he always told us, He's like, don't work with family.
It causes problems. You're gonna have problems working with family
that you don't have working with other people. My brother, Tyler,
he kind of thinks the same thing, but I don't.
I think it's a blessing to work with family. Yes,
it comes with problems, it comes with the risk. This

(27:27):
is what my dad is the risk of families breaking up,
separating because work made a rift in between them and
they caused it a big enough problem where now they
don't even speak to each other or as. Another thing
my dad is worried about is that when you do
get together with all the families, like on Thanksgiving or Christmas,
you don't want to be around the guy, because you've

(27:48):
been around him Monday through Friday. Now here you are
spending the weekend. You know he worried about that stuff.
I don't. Once again, I think it's a blessing to
work with family. I think it's such a privilege an
honor to be able to work with your siblings and
or your dad at the farm, like you're saying, and
the alternative, And this is how I was. I made

(28:10):
an argument to Tyler, my middle brother, about bringing Parker,
our youngest brother on when the first conversation came up,
that maybe Parker would work with us at Eeye Apparel,
and Tyler was like, man, no, Parker needs to make
his own name for himself and do his own thing.
And I was the guy who's like, no, I want
him to work with us. And my argument was this,
if he goes off and does his own thing, makes

(28:32):
a name for himself, like you're saying, Tyler, then he'll
get so involved in whatever hobbies and business and friends
and church group that he has, and it probably moves
him out of our town. He'll get so involved in
that that we just won't see him besides holidays. Would
you rather see him only on holidays? And we love

(28:55):
him and we have a great time. Or see him
every day Monday through at the office, and you have
some tough times every once in a while, but you're
living life together. You're growing up together, kids are growing
up together. You see their face, and you work through
life together. I said, that's my argument, that's what I
want with Parker. We ended up hiring Parker because Parker

(29:17):
wanted to do it, and I don't regret it for
one second, Orlando, I don't regret working with my two
brothers one second. You know, Ever since I was a kid,
I've always written a song for a special occasion, whether
that was for my dad or for my mom or
for Amber. I've written songs for my brothers. I've wrote

(29:38):
a song for my alma mater, Texas A and M.
It seems like I just I don't have a lot
of talents, but that was my way to express myself,
writing songs and making that song a gift to someone else.
And then I realized obviously that not everyone just picks
up a guitar and does that. But now it is

(29:59):
a able to anyone. You could tell someone special how
much they mean to you, but you don't have to
actually put the words together for them, because that's what
Songfinch does. They will write a song saying I love you,
or I need you, or I'm so grateful for you,
or whatever the occasion, for whatever event you want to

(30:20):
write a song about, they will do it for you.
Songfinch is the ultimate gift to show someone how much
you care. An original, studio quality song inspired by your
story that's completely unique, personal, and last forever. Songfinch walks
you through a simple four step process to create an
original song, and all you gotta do is tell them
about who the song is for, provide them some personal details,

(30:43):
and let them know the type of song you want.
Then you pick your favorite song Finch artists are get
massed up with one and they will pour their heart
into writing, recording, and producing you an original song. And
it happens all in just like four to seven days.
It's pretty remarkable. In fact, they want you to like
your song so much that they guarantee it. They guarantee
you'll love the song, or they'll do it and rework

(31:05):
it until you do. They stand behind their community of
talented artists and every single original song they create, you
know they've done this over three hundred thousand times this
Valentine's Day. Put your heart on the line with a
studio quality song that's totally unique to your relationship. It
only takes four to seven days, but the song will
last forever. For a limited time, Songfinch is letting our

(31:25):
listeners upload their song on Spotify for free, so you
can listen to your new favorite song anywhere you go.
Go to songfinch dot com slash granger and start your song.
After you purchase, you'll be prompted to add Spotify streaming
to your original song for free. That's a fifty dollars value.
This offer is available only to my listeners at my
special url songfinch dot com slash granger. That is songfinch

(31:50):
dot com slash granger. Don't wait, get started now. Best
question comes from Samantha says, Hey, Granger, recently found your
podcast at the end of twenty twenty three. Loving it
so far. I'm telling everyone about it. Thank you, Samantha,
she says. Let me start by saying that my husband
and I've been together nine years now. We have two
children under the age of four, and we're a Bible
believing Christian family who attend a Lutheran Church in Zanesville,

(32:15):
Ohio every Sunday. We're very involved in our church, me
being the director of our Sunday school, and my husband
is a deacon. My question is how do I set
firm expectations in our marriage while remaining respectful. My husband
is a wonderful man, great provider, but not the family
man that I have always dreamed of marrying. I love

(32:37):
him very much, although I miss the mark each day.
My goal is to be a respectful wife so my
husband will in turn give me the love I desire.
We often get caught in the crazy cycle, and I'd
love nothing more than to improve our communication. Much love,
Samantha oh Man. Samantha, this is one of the rare

(32:58):
times when I a question and I just think, Ah,
You're gonna be just fine. It's like, if we build
this scenario where we are in sitting around a campfire,
like I say all the time, it's like, ask me
a question, Like we're sitting around a campfire and the

(33:19):
embers are burning down and someone says, hey, Grandeur, kind
of run something by you, and I'm like, yeah, what
you got? And then Samantha, it's you and you, this
is what you download on me. This is one of
those times around the campfire, I would let it go
silent for a second and I would be like, Samantha,
you're gonna be just fine with what you're saying. You

(33:44):
have two children under four, you've been together nine years.
I'm gonna I'm gonna just I'm gonna totally guess that
you're thirty four. Right, it's just a random guess. I'm
gonna say you're thirty four years old. You got married
at twenty five, you start having babies in your late twenties,

(34:05):
early thirties. Maybe I'm gonna say that. And this is
about the time, you know, like mid thirties, you look
back in your life and you go, I hope I
did everything right, you know, and you look at your
husband and you go, I kind of expected that my husband.

(34:30):
When I'm about thirty five years old, I kind of
expected my husband would be like doing more with the kids,
like I've kind of expected he'd be taking the boys fishing.
But he's just grinding it out at work right now.
And I think that that's probably a common thought at
your age, and it's probably a common thing. The husband

(34:52):
you married, who was the outdoorsman in Zanesville, Ohio is
now caught up because he's now thirty six. I'm just
totally guessing. So he's like thirty six and he's grinding
it out because he's he's like at the cusp of
doing something in his company where he turns the corner
and provides much more for his family, much more stability,

(35:13):
That's what I mean. And if he doesn't, if he
feels like if he lacks in that area and goes
fishing with the kids, then he might be missing out
on stability in the future. And I'm not saying any
of this is right or wrong or even true. I'm
just saying that's a possible scenario to why you might
be thinking, maybe I thought I was going to marry

(35:35):
a bigger family man. And that's also why I'm saying,
I think this is probably a normal thought for you
to have a normal thing for your husband to be doing,
and I think the normal scenario for this to play
out with you having this kind of mentality saying, look,
I have a lot to work on myself. I just
I desire better communification and I want my goal each

(35:58):
days to be a respect wife so my husband can
give me the love that I desire. I think I'll
just go, oh, somntha that is that is beautiful. You
wrote it beautiful. I think you're Your worries are normal
for thirty four or thirty thirty five years old, and
you're above and beyond what I would hope that you
would be thinking in response to those worries. So you're

(36:21):
gonna be fine. Next question comes from Jesse Hey Graindream
from South Carolina. I'm a listener. Me and my girlfriend
enjoy listening to your podcast. It picks us both up
and opens our eyes to things we're blind to. Wow.
I'm concerned about a question that came up about a
young adult Bible study that left me uncomfortable to answer.

(36:44):
Here's the question, did God want Eve to sin? Wanted
to know your take on how to answer this. Thanks
in advance with much love, Jesse. Wow, that's a good one. Jesse,
I love I love thinking about these things. And I
said this at the beginning of the podcast, and it's

(37:05):
my true desire to not give you answers. Instead, my
desire is to model poorly by the way, like I'm
trying my best, but to model thinking through difficult questions
with the Biblical worldview, and in order to first model

(37:31):
that in an encouraging way, to model thinking through things
difficult questions with the Biblical worldview starts with knowing the Bible.
It starts with reading the Bible. I love that you're
in a Bible study, and I hope that in addition
to that Bible study and everyone listening also has a

(37:53):
daily devotional plan just for themselves of reading through the Bible.
That is your day, Bailey, nourishment, and nothing could be
more important outside of prayer. That is your communication with God.
In fact, prayer is us talking, bringing things, expressing ourselves

(38:15):
to the Creator, and our time and the word reading
the Bible is the time when He speaks back. It's amazing, right,
It's amazing. So so then as you're doing that, and
then you come across a question like that happened in
the Bible study. Did God want Eve to sin? Well?
In order to answer that correctly, we would first need

(38:38):
to know what does God want? That's a question. Here's
another question, what does he not want? What does he love?
What does he hate? In order to know these kind
of questions, you need to know God. For example, I

(38:59):
know my little girl London, I've spent a lot of
time with her. She's twelve years old. I know a
lot about her, not because I've read about her or
because I've she has sent me letters. More so I
have spent time around her. I have absorbed so much
of her time, and I have absorbed her in a

(39:21):
way that I know her so that I don't need
her to tell me one specific thing. I know in
a general way what she loves and what she doesn't.
I don't have to go to a convenience store candy section,
and I don't have to see a new candy, for instance,
and go, you know what. I don't know if London

(39:44):
has specifically spoken about this specific thing before. Therefore I
do not know if she would want it. Instead, because
I know London so well, I can go to that
convenience store and see a brand new candy that she's
never spoken about and go, ah, she would want this
or she wouldn't want that. You get my point. So

(40:07):
then you can come to a question and go, did
God want Eve to sin? Well you can go God
doesn't want anyone to sin. God would never desire for
one of his creatures to sin. He hates sin, so
he would not want you to engage in anything that

(40:31):
he hates, including all the way back to the first
one Eve. But this is a large this is a
large issue that we have to address here. But God
is sovereign. God is all knowing or planning, working everything

(40:56):
for good and in his providence that's a big word
for in his control in the unfolding of his plan
in that plan, as we as revealed as he is
revealed of the Bible. In that plan, his plan was
to redeem a people back to himself. And we don't

(41:21):
know why, but in that plan of redemption required us
to fall because he wasn't going to redeem a people
that were not fallen. So we don't know exactly why
that falling was part of the plan so that he
could redeem us, but we do know that it is

(41:41):
the plan to redeem us from the fall. So because
of that, listen, this is just it's just just rational
knowledge here, right, it's just thinking through this, so we go.
So God's plan was to redeem us through his son,

(42:01):
whom he sent to earth as the perfect human, one human,
one hundred percent God, that he sent to earth to
the cross to die for sin, so that whoever looked
to him whoever believed in him would not perish, but

(42:22):
have eternal life. He would redeem them by becoming sin,
therefore defeating sin, defeating death for all who believed. That's
how we would defeat it. In order to do that,
rewind rewind. He needed Eve to sin, he needed Eve
to fall. So although he did not want Eve to sin,

(42:47):
he allowed it. He ordained it. The same you could
say for the Cross, you think he wanted his son
to suffer. You think you wanted his son to die
the most horrific death. No, it would be blasphemy to

(43:08):
say God wanted his son to die. Instead, he allowed it,
He planned it, he ordained it as part of the plan.
He let it happen because it had to happen for
his plan of redemption. For you, That's how we think

(43:34):
through any kind of issue of what would God want
or not want? Next question comes from Danny. Hey Granger,
my name is Danny, I'm twenty three years old from Laredo,
and I wanted to start by saying I love your
music in your podcast, which I've listened to every single
episode and has helped me numerous times since I started listening. Bro,

(43:55):
Thank you so much. Danny, I have two questions. My
first question is I want to pick up the guitar
again after not having not played it since high school.
I was wondering if you had any tips on how
to pick it up again quickly and get back to
the level I was at, and if there's any kind
of guitar recommendations you have that won't break the bank.
I would appreciate all those kind of ideas as well
as I sold my previous guitar. My second question is

(44:18):
do you think it's important I learned to read sheet
music again or should I just focus on getting better
at playing God bless you, Hey, Danny, nice lighthearted question
here after some heavy hitters. I appreciate it, buddy, thank
you for listening. And that's cool you're wanting to get
back in guitar, I've seen over the years. For me,
it's just like riding a bike. It shouldn't take you

(44:38):
very long. It's not something that just goes away and
you go man. I used to play guitar, but now
I've completely forgotten. It's going to come back quickly like
riding a bike. And I would recommend against sheet music.
I don't think that that's good for guitar players. I
think it could be used sparingly for piano players, but
I think relying on sheet music too much it curbs

(45:02):
your creativity and kind of hinders your ability to vamp
or change things up a little bit or adapt to
something that might be happening, especially if you're playing in
a band. Atmosphere, there is a fine line probably between

(45:22):
picking a guitar that is good enough to play but
won't break the bank. My suggestion is you can go
with a cheaper guitar if you put nylon strings on it,
and those are like classical guitar strings, and you can
get those at a guitar store. You can ask the
guy say, hey, want this guitar and I want nylon strings,

(45:44):
And the guy's gonna be like, oh, that guitar doesn't
is not supposed to have nylon strings, And you go, yeah,
but can I do it? And he's gonna go it's
not set up for that, and you go, yeah, but
can you just tie little tiny knots at the end
of the nylon and that way it holds it in
there and he'll look at you like your But what
it does is it saves your fingers from getting torn
up because those nylon strings are a lot softer than

(46:06):
the steel strings, and it's a good way to play
a lot to not have the pain of the steel
strings on your fingers, and that'll hopefully get you down
the road quicker. And then you could decide at that
point if you want to spend more money on a
higher end guitar. And when I say higher end, I'm

(46:27):
talking about the difference between a two hundred dollars guitar
and like a thousand dollars guitar. I'm not talking about
four or five six thousand dollars. Okay, that would be crazy.
I'm talking about you can get a really nice guitar
for about twelve hundred bucks. I'm not telling you to
do that, but I would go that direction eventually, not now.
At first. I would spend about four or to five

(46:49):
hundred and get you like a mid level Martin and
that's if that's too harsh on you, get nylon strings.
Last part, and I'll wrap this up. YouTube is a
great resource. I wouldn't spend money on lessons, definitely, not
in sheet music. I would do more YouTube. Get the basics,
and then use your ear, develop your ear, cultivate the

(47:13):
muscle for hearing what you hear on your favorite songs
and playing along with your favorite songs. That's the most
valuable thing you could do. It's kind of like a
language immersion learning a foreign language. It's better if you
completely immerse in that culture instead of just like doing
an app that teaches you how to speak another language.

(47:35):
That would be what an app to teach you how
to play guitar would be. Ultimately, you want to just
hear a song and play along with it, and you'll
get there eventually. That's all I got, y'all. Thank you
so much for listening. We love y'all. See you next Monday. EBI,
thanks for joining me on the Grangersmith podcast. I appreciate
all of you guys. You could help me out by
rating this podcasts on iTunes. If you're on YouTube, subscribe

(47:56):
to this channel. Hit that little like button and note
vcation spell so that you never miss anytime I upload
a video. Yi
Advertise With Us

Popular Podcasts

Dateline NBC
The Nikki Glaser Podcast

The Nikki Glaser Podcast

Every week comedian and infamous roaster Nikki Glaser provides a fun, fast-paced, and brutally honest look into current pop-culture and her own personal life.

Stuff You Should Know

Stuff You Should Know

If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.

Music, radio and podcasts, all free. Listen online or download the iHeart App.

Connect

© 2024 iHeartMedia, Inc.