January 29, 2024 • 57 mins
In this episode of the Granger Smith Podcast, a listener named Alex seeks advice from Granger, about a recurring issue in his relationships. Alex confesses to struggling with fidelity, leading to the end of his previous marriage. Despite finding happiness with a new partner, he finds himself making mistakes again, jeopardizing his current relationship. Alex grapples with the belief that he's not a bad person but is unsure how to overcome his pattern of destructive behavior. Granger and his guest Bernie, reflects on the complexity of morality and suggests that Alex's understanding of good and bad may differ from a biblical worldview, highlighting the importance of discussing such challenges openly.
In a subsequent email, a listener named Dalton poses a question about the compatibility of tattoos with Christian beliefs, acknowledging that Granger himself has meaningful tattoos. Granger and Bernie discuss the perception of tattoos in cultural contexts, highlighting the polarizing nature of opinions. They address the notion of certain beliefs being linked and challenge the idea that Christians must adhere to all aspects of the Bible uniformly, emphasizing the importance of understanding context in biblical interpretation.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
They don't want to admit they're bad. They want to
say they're they're good, and they're trying to fight this
world the urge. But the fact is, it's not the world,
it's not the culture, it's not society. It's you. What's up, everybody?
(00:22):
Welcome back to the podcast. Episode two two three. Got
my favorite man, Bernie here, one of my best friends
for decades and a frequent guest on the podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
It's an honor privilege every time. I don't take it lightly.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
I could tell you mean that because you drive an
hour to get here.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
Yeah, it's a privilege and it's so cool. I remember
this whole invitation kind of started with me. I don't
know if you remember this, Like me and you and
Leslie and Amber were just sitting around and we're basically
doing what we're doing now, and I think as Amber
was like, yeah, you should have Bernie on the podcast.
It's like you just do what you're doing. And I
(01:03):
was like, okay, I'll do that, so yeah, man, And
then it turned into.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
This, yeah, so y'all what we do? We answer y'all's
questions and I do not know what I'm about to read.
That's it's intriguing for me. I'm actually excited. Just as
I said here, I'm like, man, I have no idea
what we're about to get into on this episode, no clue.
I don't see them at all. I used to at
(01:29):
least sort them. I don't even sort them, forgot ant
Man producing this thing now, so he sorts them, and
I just literally pull it up on this little screen
right here. And if you want to get on this
little screen right here, email podcast at grangersmith dot com.
Podcast at grangersmith dot com. Submit your questions. It goes
to ant Man, and you may even want to tell
(01:51):
him hey, But then everything after that is what I'm
about to read. First question comes from Dalton and it says, Hey, Granger,
I've been a long time watcher of the Smiths and
been a fan of you for a long time. I'm
interested to hear your opinion on tattoos as a Christian,
since that could be a dicey subject. I'm aware that
you obviously have some meaningful tattoos, and I also have
(02:14):
one that I got from my best friend that passed
away in a car accident in February. I appreciate all
you do and look forward to attending another sermon. Next
time you're in Columbus Burns. You got a tattoo? I do?
Speaker 3 (02:25):
I got a couple couple. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
I don't think it's a dicey question subject.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
I think culturally maybe there's like I don't know, everything's
polarizing these days. It's like, well, if you don't believe this,
then you must believe that. And it's like, well, no,
there's nuanced to life and there's so I think that's
probably what he meant by dicey, Like if you say this, then.
Speaker 1 (02:46):
Yeah, so you said if you believe this, and you
must believe this. If you don't believe right.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
Well no, people tend to think, well, if you don't
believe this, then you must believe that, and it's like, well, actually,
maybe I don't believe either of those things.
Speaker 1 (02:59):
Yeah. And the other idea is similar to that is
when hey, mister Christian speaking from you know, outside, Hey,
mister Christian, you can't you can't pick and choose what
you want to believe out of the Bible. And if
you believe this, then you need to believe that. And
if you don't believe that, then you shouldn't believe anything
else in the Bible right, And that's a false statement
(03:22):
because we're called from the Bible itself, as it testifies
to itself, to rightly divide the word of truth. What
does that mean, Well, it means we have to understand
the context of everything we read. We have to we
can't we God intentionally meant everything that's included in the
(03:42):
Bible for an intentional reason, and that intention doesn't always
go straight to us. For example, God commanded Noah to
build an arc. That doesn't mean that we're commanded to
build an arc. He commanded Adam and Eve not to
eat from the tree. He doesn't have any trees that
he's commanded us not to eat from. So there's many
(04:05):
examples like that where we have to understand. Okay, hang on,
let's divide. Let's rightly divide the word. It's all truth,
all of it, but let's rightly divide it into what
we're supposed to take today. And if we're talking about
biblical tattoos, we'll start with the context of the Mosaic law,
which has to be rightly divided into ceremonial and civil
(04:32):
and moral. So if you take those three aspects of
the old Mosaic law, then you have to go okay.
There were certain parts of the law that were civil.
It's like, this is the law of the land. It's
like speeding, don't speed, okay, and then you've got the which,
by the way, speeding changes over generations. A civil law
(04:56):
is not the same in different civilizations. It changes to
pay attention to the civil law in that place, and
then ceremonial that the people at the time were under
ceremonial law for certain reasons that we are just not
under today. One of those reasons, there's many, but one
of them, tattoos, is a good example of one. That
(05:18):
they were called to be holy. The Bible says, you
shall be holy for I the Lord your God, am holy, holy,
meaning separate, separated, different, be you should be different, and
and tattoos were a symbol at the time of the
paganism of the nations around Israel. So one of the
(05:39):
laws was don't mark yourself because that's what the people,
that's what the pagans do. And you know how you
want people to know you're different, and you want to
know you're different. Don't get those tattoos because that deliberately
means that you're one of them, not one of us. Okay,
that's easy. And then there's the moral law. The moral law.
Do not kill, do not commit a dirtary. Oh, it's actually,
(06:02):
do not murder, do not commit adultery, do not lie,
do not steal all that stuff, do not make idols. Okay,
those are the moral law that still lasts today, and
we still abide by that law today. So all that
being said, that that's rightly dividing the truth. Understand the
context of how this stuff was given, and that's why
(06:23):
you might think that this is a dicey subject. It's
actually not. But after all that, this is what I
typically say. I'd get these emails quite a bit on
the podcast. I typically say today, as I read this podcast,
I do not want to get any more tattoos. I'm
not saying I will not, but I'm saying I have
no desire and I would not recommend it to anyone
(06:46):
because not because it's unbiblical or because it it's not
pleasing to God. I'm not going to go there. It's
too deep. I'm not going to go there. But I'm
going to say it's a it's a permanent mark on
your body for probably a temporary feeling that you're having.
So although I do have some and I don't regret them,
(07:07):
I would say, don't get tattoos. Yeah, that was a
long answer, dude.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
I'm sure this may be a time that me and
Griz disagree.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
Great, what bring it? Bring it?
Speaker 2 (07:18):
No, I'm not really, but I'm okay with tattoos.
Speaker 3 (07:22):
You want to get one.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
I think that what you said is important. Don't make
this a permanent decision based on a temporary feeling.
Speaker 3 (07:36):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (07:38):
I got buddies that have, you know, cartoon character tattoos
that they just don't really love those cartoon characters the
way they did it one time.
Speaker 1 (07:46):
It's like, I sure done that.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
Both of the tattoos that I have are very sentimental,
very meaningful, and I do not regret doing them.
Speaker 3 (07:56):
And that's how you kind of want it to be.
Speaker 2 (07:59):
I I think they're awesome. I love asking people about them.
You know, the connection that you can find with people
in the conversation starters. And so yeah, I'm going to
differ a little bit maybe and say yes, make sure
that you know you're you know what it means, because
(08:20):
if you get the Chinese writing that you don't know
what it means, and it's like an insult to Chinese people,
like that's on your body forever, So make sure you
know like all of what it is that you're doing.
But I think it's interesting that he's asking this, but
he already did it or he already has Yeah, he's yeah,
So hopefully he doesn't have like a cartoon or Chinese writing.
Speaker 1 (08:42):
He doesn't know. He says, it's his friend that passed away.
Speaker 2 (08:45):
Yeah, dude, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
Dude, I've got I've got the same stuff. Man, we're
you and I Dalton, We're in the same boat. And
so yeah, I'm not saying I I don't agree with tattoo?
Is it over spiritualizing tat I'm not saying. I'm just
saying as a general advice that I'm going to get
from this microphone on this chair, not yours. I'm just
gonna say, hey, just don't, sir.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
Are you telling me we're not going to get matching
tattoos after this?
Speaker 1 (09:12):
We still I thought we still have to get tattoos.
The next questions from anonymous is I'm a twenty one
year old girl still living at home. I have three
sisters and we have quite a few years apart in
age between us. All I've especially never been close to
my older sister, and it's been a burden to me recently,
(09:33):
and I'm tired of putting energy or thought into it.
She's a single, quiet, introvert, and we are quite different.
She never has been the open type and doesn't put
effort into my life. And what I do point out
is that I just keep praying about it, and I
want to let go of that burden, and it's all
(09:54):
on me right now. I think a friendship needs to
be a two Oh, I get it. I get it.
I have the fear that the distant relationships in our
family is going to continue when or if I have
a family myself and I have quite a few hard
things that have happened in my life and that have
shaped the way I think. Here's the question, how do
(10:17):
I move forward in a healthy way when I see
things differently than my own family and I don't feel
I'm heard when I share my feelings. I love your
podcast and how you're not afraid to be brutally honest,
but it's all in love. Okay, do you understand Anonymous? Here?
Speaker 2 (10:35):
I'm tracking enough to kind of answer the question. I guess,
why don't you just recap and then hit the question.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
So she's twenty one, still lives at home, three sisters,
she's the oldest, she's the oldest. They're all very different,
and that difference and that distance is now a burden
to her, a weight about that. But she's also tired
of trying to repair things and trying to pull the
(11:09):
family together. She feels like she's not heard when she's
trying to do it, and she has a fear that's
only going to get worse. And she also what is
the one part she said she thinks she's the only one,
(11:29):
and I'm trying to find the one part where she's
she's going on about how this is all about her.
Speaker 3 (11:40):
Basically, Yeah, that's what it sounds like.
Speaker 1 (11:42):
Okay, so that I got it, I got it all right.
What do you say to anonymous here? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (11:50):
I think I appreciate where you're at and you care
enough to email in.
Speaker 3 (12:01):
People are just weird, man.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
People are annoying, and family, especially like human beings, we
are just like very different, annoying people. And if you
live with somebody or get close enough to them, you're
going to realize exactly how annoying they are and how
odd and weird and challenging. They are just we're people.
(12:25):
So I think my thought to her is, man, just
try to put on that lens of gratitude and focus
on the good in them, the gift of relationship and family,
and maybe that kind of ushers in the grace that
you can have for them when you're have different thoughts
(12:49):
or different and really you're just as messed up as
they are.
Speaker 3 (12:53):
So that's the bottom line line.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
Yeah, that's good. The thing is and so am I
we all Yeah, yeah, we all deal with this. I
deal with it for sure. The idea that I just
want to be heard, I want so I want to
ask you, like, do you want to be heard or
do you want to fix this relationship? Because those might
be two different things. You say, I don't feel like
i'm heard when I share my feelings and I see
(13:18):
things different than they do. Well, is it was this
ever about you or repairing a family? Because you might
not be able to get both of those things, like
you can't you might not be able to repair this
and be heard and share your feelings and they all
think you're amazing. So repairing the family might be saying
(13:42):
I'm going to deny myself a little bit here and
just say I love you guys. How could I serve?
Speaker 3 (13:49):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (13:49):
What could my role in the family be?
Speaker 2 (13:52):
Yeah, grace and move on to a place where you
do have a little bit healthier communication and you're in
a better place, because then I think if you focus
on that, you focus on them and serving them and
listening to them, I think they may actually hear your
feelings a bit a.
Speaker 3 (14:10):
Little bit better.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
Right, Yeah, Again, you got to find them where they are.
And here's an example. Say one of them is like
really into volleyball, and you're as far from a volleyball
player as anyone could be. Well, what if she's out
in the backyard hypothetically and she's just hitting the volleyball
up against the house. You might want to walk out
(14:34):
there and just go, hey, you need a partner, Hey,
how do I put my hands? How do you do that?
You put your thumbs like this, and you will you
show me how to hit that. You're coming to her level.
You're meeting her where she is, and you're just breaking
all the barriers by doing that. And inside you're thinking,
I hate volleyball. This is so stupid. It's cold out here.
Why are we doing just deny all that and go
(14:57):
this is about repairing a relationship. That's what you wanted
to begin with. Meet them where they are, and then
watch the barriers breakdown. When Amber and I started getting
serious and dating, I wrote her a song. And then
whenever we got married and we needed a first dance
for a wedding, I wrote a song for that. And
then I remember, we got pregnant with London, and I
(15:18):
wrote London a song. And that's always what I've done.
It's what I've always done and what I still do today.
And those songs have been and still are so special
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Next question is from Travin. It says, Hey Granger, I'm
(17:46):
thirty three. I'm from Florida. Just wanted to say it's
inspiring to watch you battle through adversities. It's been a
blessing to watch the Lord and his strength carry you
through to where you are now. I enjoy all that
you do to serve the Lord and preach his kingdom.
I too went through a painful loss in January twenty
twenty as my mom passed away. While it's far different
(18:07):
from what you went through, it was very deep hurt
for me and crushed me far greater than I ever
could comprehend at the time. It came only a year
after divorcing my college sweetheart, and losing my home to
a Category five hurricane. For so long, I was in
(18:27):
a dark place. I was angry with God. I couldn't
make sense as to why he allowed me to hurt
so much. By his grace, I currently see light that
I'm running to. I honestly just need some encouragement. Man.
Some days I feel so numb. I started back on
antidepressants and they're helping me, but it's a battle. I
(18:51):
could use some encouragement. Okay, let me back up here.
I always always have to clear something up. Anytime I
see this, and I see it quite a bit, I
always have to clear up the one sentence you wrote
where you said, while it's a far far different pain
than what you went through, it's still a very deep
(19:15):
hurt for me. I gotta say, hang on a second.
It's always relative. Pain is relative to what you're going
through in your life. I didn't know your mom, so
therefore I didn't love your mom. You loved your mom,
you didn't love River. I think that's what you're talking about,
(19:37):
and therefore you can't understand that. So it's all relative.
But pain is pain. So I I have not lost
my mom. Bernie has I have not lost my mom,
so I can't relate to what you're saying. But I
do know that pain is pain, loss is loss, love
(19:57):
is love, and losing someone that you love equals grief. Okay,
So let's just establish that you didn't hurt less than me. Okay,
you wrote it crushed me far greater than I ever
could have comprehended at the time. That is a powerful sentence,
by the way, that is powerful. And then it came
(20:20):
after you divorced your college sweetheart, your home to a
Category five hurricane.
Speaker 2 (20:27):
Yeah, did they leave the name.
Speaker 1 (20:32):
Travin?
Speaker 3 (20:33):
Travin? Okay?
Speaker 2 (20:35):
I think if what you're looking for, Travin is encouragement, man,
you should be encouraged to be to go through what
you have been through and to still, as you said,
see the light and be walking towards it and moving
towards it.
Speaker 3 (20:54):
I think that that's pretty awesome, man.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
And to be writing in to granture, to be able
to have the courage to bevulnerable enough with your story,
it takes a lot.
Speaker 3 (21:03):
And so I hope you're encouraged to just.
Speaker 2 (21:05):
Keep one day, one moment at a time, man, practice
the presence of God at each step of the.
Speaker 3 (21:12):
Way for him to walk with you. Yeah. Man, I'm
encouraged by hearing this.
Speaker 1 (21:17):
So we got a similar question last week. Bernie Travin says,
I was angry at God. I couldn't make sense as
to why he allowed me to hurt so much. Now,
we answered that question last week Travin and I could
(21:40):
send you to that episode. It was episode two twenty two,
and I'm going to answer it a different way. Now
I'm gonna give you a new answer that has nothing
to do with the answer I gave last week about
why we should answering the question of I'm angry at God?
Why would he allow me to hurt? And I'll answer
(22:01):
it in the form of one of my favorite psalms,
because I personally have found so much peace in the
psalms and so much encouragement through the psalms, partly because
we're listening to David, who is what we know is
a man after God's own heart, and he just struggled,
(22:25):
but he had a godly struggle. That's a good model
for us. He suffered, but he had a good godly
suffering and he suffered well. So you're not promised as
a Christian that you're not going to suffer. In fact
that if you ever hear that, that's a huge lie.
If someone says, follow Jesus and all your suffering will
(22:45):
be over, Christians laugh, It's like no. Sometimes a lot
of times it's the opposite. In fact, giving up your
life for Christ, denying yourself, which offers eternal life and
offers so much hope and peace joy, giving up yourself
stings a lot. So there's a lot of pain and
(23:06):
suffering that goes through that. Let me read Psal. I'm thirteen,
and you can hear. David. I want you to hear
how he suffers. Well, I also want you to hear
how he asks the same questions you're asking. And then
I want to show you how, even though that's the
way he feels, I want you to see how he
(23:26):
reconciles the way he feels with what he knows of
who God is. It's just six short verses. How long,
o Lord, will you forget me forever? How long will
you hide your face from me? How long must I
(23:49):
take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my
heart all the day? How long shall my enemy be
exalted over me? Consider and answer me Oh Lord, my God,
light up my eyes lest I sleep the sleep of death.
Lest my enemies say I have prevailed over him. Lest
my foes rejoice because I am shaken. But I trust
(24:11):
in your steadfast love. My heart shall rejoice in your salvation.
I will sing to the Lord, because he has dealt
bountifully with me. And you see these kind of psalms
throughout all the happy psalms, you see the lamenting ones,
and you see the ones that attempt to question God.
(24:35):
And it's just great how the Bible gives us this
road map of Oh, you think you're alone. You think
you're the only one that has suffered through loss and
loss of a home and loss of a loved one,
a sweetheart. You think you're the only one that has
felt anger maybe at God, and wondered why he would
(24:56):
allow you to hurt so much. And then we get
back in his word and we go, oh, man, not alone,
We're not alone. We're so far from it.
Speaker 3 (25:04):
Man, So I'm thirteen. That's a good one. That's a
good one to point in to.
Speaker 2 (25:09):
I'll just give you a practical from that, because I
know from experience that what we look at and what
we listen to really dictate a lot of our heart
posture and our minds right what we think about. So
one of my favorites, Shane and Shane did a Psalm
(25:31):
album a long time ago, and they did Psalm thirteen.
Speaker 3 (25:35):
They wrote a song and.
Speaker 2 (25:38):
Just listen to that album of songs of all of
these SOMs, because that is a similar cry, you know,
throughout that throughout Psalms and throughout that record, but that
that song in particular of Psalm thirteen. Just put it
on repeat when you're driving and let let that just
kind of like be what you meditate on, what you
think of. So when you start to kind of go
(25:59):
here and you're like, no, he's been good to me,
like and you're not the first one to suffer and
all those and just be open like, man, what is
God gonna like speak to me through through that?
Speaker 3 (26:12):
So easy way to just keep it.
Speaker 1 (26:14):
That's a great the.
Speaker 3 (26:14):
Front of mind.
Speaker 1 (26:15):
That's a great idea that it's a great record. What's
interesting is that when you when you think about Psalm
thirteen or the mini Psalms that are laments or questions
to God are wrestling with God's what's interesting about it all.
It's like you go, how could these people? Why is
that good to wrestle with God? Well, the answer usually
(26:36):
is you're in communication with him. You're bringing it to him.
That's what he wants. Bring it to me. You got questions,
don't go try to find it in the world. Bring
it to me. Ask me, how will I leave you forever?
How long will I hide my face from you? Ask
me come to me, join me in fellowship, Get on
(26:59):
your knees, because when you do that, you're in a relationship.
We're directly talking, we're communicating, and that's often forgotten.
Speaker 3 (27:09):
Oh for sure.
Speaker 1 (27:10):
Sometimes it's like God, why yeah, why yeah? But you're
talking to him.
Speaker 3 (27:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:16):
It's almost like there's this we're presenting a lack of
faith if we ask the hard questions and it's like, no,
I want to believe even deeper. And if I ask
in I wrestle. That's how I'm going to get to
the deeper. So go and ask those questions, for sure, wrestle.
Speaker 1 (27:33):
Bernie and Bernie asked a question earlier on where do
the word podcast come from? I have no idea. I
looked up a history of the word podcast, and I'm
not that I can't immediately see the answer. So I
would say comment below. If you're listening on a on
(27:54):
a platform that allows you to comment, someone look it
up for us and find out the history of the
word pod cast. Be interested speaking to podcast. If you
have a question for me, email podcast at grangersmith dot com.
And this question comes from Alex says, Hey Granger I'm
(28:14):
a longtime fan of you and the podcast. I'm thirty
years old and in twenty eighteen, I married my wife,
whom I was with for ten years at the time,
and we had a beautiful little girl together. Throughout our relationship,
I had a hard time being faithful to her and
we ended up getting divorced. In twenty twenty, I met
the love of my life and the most amazing woman.
(28:35):
We are so happy together every single day. After being
together three years, I went to a concert with some
of my buddies and there was a woman that was
sitting next to me and we were having a good
time during the show and I ended up getting her
number and some things were said. My girlfriend saw these texts,
knowing my past, she left me. She is the love
(28:57):
of my life and all I want is to be
with her. Some just comes over me and I make
these horrible decisions and they end up flipping my world
upside down. I'm not a bad man, I just know.
I just don't know how to stop these mistakes. I
don't want to cheat. I don't want to be this man. Alex.
(29:19):
That's a good one man. So no real question in there, right,
just to like confession, that's a good question. It's a
good confession because I don't think I've ever seen a
question quite like this one. And and the it's impossible, Alex,
(29:40):
it's impossible for me to give to give you a
good it's not a question. So it's I don't know
if I should say answer or analysis of this without
heavily leaning on my biblical worldview. Same with Burns and
there are there are a couple of things from my
biblical worldview that just scream at me from this email.
(30:03):
And one of them is and probably not definitely not
the thing you're thinking about, but here it is. This
one line says I'm not a bad man. Now. What's
crazy about that is that that's the common understanding. In fact,
Luke Bryan has a song. Have you ever heard that song?
Speaker 2 (30:22):
It's like Greater Smith's the only country that I used
to listen to he retired though Luke Brian is a.
Speaker 1 (30:30):
Song called gets called something like I Believe All people
are good. It's this idea like I believe all people
are good. We're mostly good, and that is, it's a
common idea, and most people think that most people that
think they're good are most people that think that most
people are good. And Alex is one of them. And
(30:52):
he says I'm not a bad man. And and so
he's trying to reconcile this, like as I'm watching the
struggle in the in the email, It's like, man, I'm
trying to wrestle with the idea that I'm not bad.
I'm good, But I just don't know how to stop
making these mistakes. What's going on? I'm not crazy, Granger,
(31:15):
but I you know, I I don't understand how a
good man like there's bad men out there. That's that's
what he's insinuoud.
Speaker 2 (31:23):
That's what he's It's almost like this standard of good
and bad that is, And he doesn't mention anything about
God or Jesus or a biblical worldview, right he doesn't.
Speaker 1 (31:34):
Yeah, he doesn't.
Speaker 2 (31:35):
Yeah, So his standard or his idea, his worldview of
what good and bad is is probably going to be
very different than I know.
Speaker 1 (31:46):
It's great and hey, Alex, I love you, bro, and
I'm really glad you asked this in this way so
that we could answer it in this way, because it's
it's really important to talk about you say, I'm not
a bad man, insinuating that there must be bad men.
(32:06):
There must be people that that are like child traffickers
and rapist murders, the bank robbers, there's there's there must
be some guys like in the hills of South America
that are doing really bad things. Hey, I'm just going
to a concert getting the girl's number, and I just
(32:28):
I like beautiful women. Hey, how do you fault me
on that? Guys? I love beautiful women. That's what That's
what he's saying, Okay, And it's it's really important for
us to kind of reel this in because you emailed
this podcast under this biblical worldview. And here's what the
Bible says. No one is good, not even one. The
(32:50):
Bible says, all of you have gone astray, all have
sinned and fall short of the glory of God, all
of you. That is a crazy thought in the opposite
of the world and so instead of like this grating
on a curve, Like there's these really bad men in
South America that do these horrible things in child trafficking,
(33:13):
and then there's these men that like rob banks. That's
the second tier, and then there's like the third tier
that's like the drunk dad that neglects his children. And
then here's where I am. I'm like the fourth tier,
and that's like just kind of just can't really stay
faithful to a girlfriend. So I'm not bad. The Bible says, no,
all of you bad, all of you, all of your sinners,
(33:36):
oh even you priest, even you monks, even you Buddhist
climb in the mountain in the Himalayas, You're all bad,
And we go, what what about our own conscience agrees
that this is true, because the reason the monks climb
those mountains is because they feel it in them. They
(33:57):
feel the evil in them, and they're trying everything that
can to eradicate it and try to meditate long enough,
or try to be good long enough, or try try
to sacrifice enough things, or to try to try to
read enough of scripture, or try to deny themselves. Women
like that. That's another bad thing to try to say
(34:19):
I'm just gonna be celibate, you know, like I'm not.
I'm not gonna I'm not gonna be with any women ever.
I'm just gonna be seeing. These are all things that
man creates to try to fight against the urge that
they are bad. They don't want to admit they're bad.
They want to say they're they're good, and they're trying
to fight this world, the urge. But the fact is,
it's not the world. It's not the culture, it's not society.
(34:40):
It's you, Alex. You need to hear this. You are bad.
And I could say that because I have the same disease.
It's called sin. We inherited it from our ancestors. And
there's no way you're born. Not one human is born
(35:01):
without it. In fact, if you've do you have kids, yeah,
you have a beautiful little girl. I guarantee you. You
saw her at two years old, you knew she was
a sinner, and she was born with it. There is
no not even a child that is good. There's innocent children.
There's a difference between innocent and sinful, and children are sinful. Man,
(35:23):
They're born with it. So that's the worldview that that's
like the groundbreaking idea that's gonna just shatter this whole email.
Right at the bat, we go, Yeah, we knew you
were bad. You're the only one in this table right here, Alex,
that didn't know you were bad. You didn't know that
your flesh, this lustful idea, that your flesh is reaching
(35:45):
out to these women. You thought that was something the
world was doing to you because of culture. Maybe you're
blaming it on porn. Are you blaming it on Instagram
because it showed you? Are you blame it on this concert?
And these friends took me and this girl is so
beautiful and I'm gonna blame it on her. The Muslims
blame it on the women, like you shouldn't dress like
that cover up because I don't want to look at you,
(36:06):
because I don't want to indulge my flesh, because I
can't help it if I see you, if I see
more than your eyeslits. And so with that, this is
taking a long time, sorry, but under I love this
idea though, because it's this is this is what the
world says, and the contrary to the world, the Bible says,
(36:33):
because of your sin, you can't be with God. You're
you're out, you're disqualified. You want to be with God.
Here's how you get to be with God. Be perfect.
Your heavenly father's perfect, so you should be perfect. That's
how you get to heaven by being perfect. Oh wait
a minute, Alex, you've already failed. I'm sorry, man, You're
(36:55):
not going to make it to heaven. Bernie, are you perfect? No? Neither.
Speaker 2 (37:00):
So we failed one thing you just said, though, you
said this is how you're gonna get to heaven.
Speaker 1 (37:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (37:08):
I don't know if he wants.
Speaker 1 (37:09):
To go there, that's true.
Speaker 3 (37:10):
I don't know if he believes in that. I don't know.
Speaker 2 (37:12):
I think all he's trying to do is not cheat
on his girlfriend or like get a girlfriend.
Speaker 1 (37:16):
Okay, let's go there, so so so build that. Yeah, okay,
we're slowly building.
Speaker 3 (37:23):
I can without the one without the other.
Speaker 1 (37:25):
Alex, We're slowly building this story for you. And what
we're trying to say is you're screwed, dude, because you
got you want to live. You want you want to
have eternal life in the presence of your creator in heaven.
You got to be perfect, and you've already failed it. Okay,
So the only alternative to going to heaven is hell.
(37:46):
You don't want to go there. This life is short,
it's fleeting, it's a vapor, it's gone, So you better
get it while you can. And you might as well
just cheat on every girlfriend and get it where you can,
because you've already screwed and you groot yourself out of
any opportunity after this besides eternal punishment, eternal wrath. That's
what the Bible says. Is that good enough to get
(38:09):
maybe get him thinking about it? Yeah, so I got
something to tell you, though, I do have good news.
I'm in the same boat, Alex, and so's Bernie, and
so's every other man and woman that have walked on
this planet since Jesus. No one is perfect. We're all bad.
(38:30):
So God knows this. So God, in his love for
his people, because he knows that he's perfect, he can't.
If Heaven is this perfect place, it can't have you, Alex.
That would ruin it. You're a cancer. You can't be
in heaven. You're a disease that can't be there. Otherwise
it's not heaven anymore. It's corrupted. So God knows this.
(38:54):
He knows you're corrupted, he knows you have this cancer,
this disease, and he knows I do too. So in
his leve he goes all you people, all you sinners
that have rejected me, that have turned from my way.
I'm going to give you a way to get to me.
I'm going to give you a way that you cannot
earn to get you in heaven without you being perfect.
(39:16):
You need to be perfect to get here. I'm going
to give you perfection a gift. It's a gift of grace.
It's I'm gifting you. The Bible calls it righteousness. We
can call it goodness. I'm going to give you the
goodness that it requires to get here. And I'm gonna
do it through my Son, through his righteousness, his perfection,
(39:37):
his goodness, not yours. You don't have it. I'ma give
it to you through him. If you believe, turn from yourself,
turn from your ways. Look to him. He died on
the cross for the sins of people just like you, Alex.
Look to him, and he forgives, he heals, he redeems.
(40:00):
And then what happens after that, it's crazy. If you believe,
if you are a child of God, after that, through repentance,
which means turning from yourself and looking to him. If
you do that, something changes in you in a way
that you start to hate that sin. It doesn't totally
(40:22):
go away, at least not at the beginning, but when
that girl at the concert shows up and you start talking,
something inside you goes, oh, this is disgusting. I hate this.
My flesh wants to do it, but I don't like it,
so I gotta I got, I can't do it. Sorry,
I'm so sorry. I gotta tell you, girl, I actually
have a serious girlfriend, someone I love. So I'm so sorry,
(40:46):
but no, I'm not gonna take your number. And then
you're gonna go what has happened? Why am I so different? Now?
What's going on with me?
Speaker 2 (40:53):
And also before you would even get into that situation
that you would have to tell that girl that what
he also gives us is community, biblical community of you know, accountability. Yeah, well, grazier,
what if I told you, like, oh, yeah, man, I'm
gonna go to this concert by myself and there's gonna
(41:13):
be a bunch of pretty girls there and probably gonna
drink and like just dance with them, and you're.
Speaker 1 (41:18):
Gonna be you have a history.
Speaker 3 (41:19):
Yeah, yeah, you're.
Speaker 2 (41:21):
Gonna be like, bro, no me and you are going,
you know, to do whatever else that we could do.
We're gonna go fishing, we're gonna go camping, and we're
gonna do something different because you know that that's a
bad idea. And I'd be like, dude, you're right, man,
that's a bad idea. Iron sharpening, iron boom. So yeah,
I think that hear that message. And I think that
(41:45):
there's a hopefully a community that.
Speaker 3 (41:50):
You are a part of.
Speaker 2 (41:51):
If you're not that you become a part of that
can walk alongside you in that journey.
Speaker 1 (41:57):
So next I as can come from anonymous, it says
I have had a crush on a girl for almost
three years now. I haven't told her. I know her
for years. Yeah, that's a long time to not tell her.
I know her family well, and I've spent time with
her a lot. There's a lot that won't fit into
this email that would help the story more. I am
(42:20):
feeling like it's time to tell her since I'm positive
that she likes me because of many different things that
have happened, and we could start dating shortly after. My
question is this, should I tell her parents that I
like her? For them to tell me to do what's
best and since they deserve to know, since it's their daughter,
(42:42):
or should I just tell her? Also, there are so
many different things that have happened to me that makes
me think that she likes me. I still have a
fear of her rejecting me, which would cause me so
much heartbreak and pain because of how much I truly
love her and everything that I've done for her. How
should I go about.
Speaker 2 (43:03):
We jump from having a crush on her to like
deeply really quick?
Speaker 1 (43:09):
Man, how should I go about doing these things? Telling
her these things? If she is going to reject me.
I try to trust God, but it just the thought
of her rejecting me still concerns me. Thank you Granger.
Speaker 2 (43:22):
All right, bro, I love you man like I hear
the youth in your voice, and I love it. I
love your asking the questions. I would have never thought
of that question that you asked. But man, I think
it's brilliant. Talk to her parents, like I think Vodi
Bacham says that. Yeah, Like, talk to her parents and
(43:43):
tell them your intention. A lot of people wait until
they're gonna ask them to marry them, to ask for
the hand. It's like, well, shoot, I wish you would
have asked me whenever you started, because I would have
said no, And now I got to tell you no.
Now it's gonna be awkward, and no. I think if
you go to the parents and you share with them. Look,
(44:04):
me and Jenny, we've been really close for these three years.
I feel like she likes me. I got these little
you know, she's flirting. She did this, and I kind
of want to tell her how I feel about her
and maybe date her. What are you guys thinking about that?
And that's gonna tell you a lot. Yeah, because they
know their daughter and mom may look at you.
Speaker 3 (44:25):
And be like, bro, now, don't don't do that.
Speaker 2 (44:29):
She she likes Johnny. She's been in love with Johnny forever.
And you're gonna save yourself a lot of embarrassment. And
you can just tell the parents, okay, keep this between us,
and then you just go on being a friend and
looking for somebody else.
Speaker 3 (44:43):
But they could also affirm and be like, she talks
about you all the time.
Speaker 2 (44:47):
Yeah, you probably should totally tell her, and you, guys
date and we appreciate you. You're gonna, let's say you do
go on to marry this love of your life. You're
gonna build some trust with those parents and a foundation.
It's going to be great.
Speaker 1 (45:06):
So yeah, man, if in doubt, just tell him.
Speaker 3 (45:09):
Uh there is.
Speaker 1 (45:11):
Vodie Bacham actually wrote a book about it, but I
think he speaks a lot like on YouTube about it.
But but I remember when I first got into that idea.
I was telling London this my daughter and from the
perspective that Bernie and I both have daughters. From that perspective,
it's like it's like a no brainer. Oh yeah, I
would love that, like selfishly as a father, Yes, tell
me first, don't tell her. So Vodi says he has
(45:36):
trained his daughter to say to answer a boy that says,
do you want to go on a date? And the
girl says, what did my dad say? I'm taking that
for sure, So I started just putting that into London.
So that's like, yeah, that's her reaction, what did my
dad say? Next question comes from Megan says, Hey, I'm
(46:00):
a junior high school student, which is the age at
which everyone and their mother seems to be asking the
dreaded question, so what are you going to do with
your life? Whereas I am forced to reply each time,
I'm not quite sure yet I've gotten so much advice
from so many people about my future, but I'm still
left feeling uncertain and a little afraid to commit. I
(46:24):
have put much prayer and tears into this topic, but
I still feel as though I'm a loss at a
loss for the answer. How can I clearly hear what
the Lord wants me to do? Does there have to
be a deadline on this decision? And how do I
know when people ask me about what my future holds? Sorry,
(46:45):
that was a long question, but I know you'll do
your best to answer and understand my side of things. Sincerely, Megan.
Great question for Bernie today.
Speaker 2 (46:55):
Well, I'm not sure if anybody listened to episode two
twenty two, but a very similar question led to my
first breakdown on the podcast and left me in tears.
So what s Granger seemed to think about this?
Speaker 1 (47:07):
Well, Okay, I'll just I'm gonna let you talk because
you've got a lot of stuff to say, Burns, but
I'll just jump in quickly and say, let me give
you an answer. This is a good answer. This is
the good answer to quickly answer the question when someone says,
what are you gonna do with your life? Or what
does your future. Hold those are the two ways you
(47:28):
worded it, And if you're a Christian, I love to say,
my future is none of my business. It's good. It's
all in the Lord's hands. Hey, listen, Meg, I hope
I can call you Meg. I knew Bernie at a
pivotal time in his life, and he knew me in
a pivotal time. You younger, younger versions of ourselves, and man,
(47:51):
I mean, neither one of us we're doing what we're
doing now. Neither one of us planned on what we're
doing now, and we couldn't. So knowing what you're going
to do with your life and your future is irrelevant
to what you're actually going to do. I know, I
recognize that the world wants to tell you that you
(48:12):
need to have a plan, and look at your age,
the plan should be just make good grades, diversify your hobbies,
love the Lord, plant yourself in a really good church,
surround yourself with godly girls. Do those things like that's
(48:33):
enough of a plan for a junior high kid. Make
good grades, diversify your hobbies, plant yourself in a good church,
and surround yourself with godly girls. Do that. That's your future.
Everything else you say it's none of my business. M h.
Speaker 3 (48:47):
That's good.
Speaker 2 (48:48):
She said something about still feeling uncertain, and I think
that that may just be a common thing that you feel.
Like in life, there's just things. Sometimes we just feel uncertain.
But God does call us to be bold and courageous,
So there's in that uncertainty sometimes you have to walk through.
Speaker 3 (49:11):
When I'm making decisions or.
Speaker 2 (49:13):
Trying to figure something out, sometimes I walk through these
three different questions.
Speaker 3 (49:18):
What does the Word say? Okay? Is there any between
my options? Is?
Speaker 2 (49:23):
Is there an explicit direction that's given, Like I want
to do this? Well, the Bible specifically says like don't.
So it's like, okay, well I'm not going to do that.
Speaker 1 (49:32):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (49:33):
Most of what you're probably dealing with is, you know,
what does the Word say about these options? What does
the church say?
Speaker 3 (49:41):
So if you are.
Speaker 2 (49:43):
Amongst you know, a community of people and you get
to share with them, Hey, they you know, want to
do this or this, I don't know what to do,
feel uncertain and just listen to what they say. And
then the last thing is what do you want to do? Like,
what's what's really like? You feel your heart kind of
like drawn to that thing and then work towards being
(50:06):
really good at that thing, whatever that path may be.
I think what I said on the last one to
a very similar question, though, it's the hardest thing. And
I had a conversation with Stella, our ten year old,
last week about this when we don't know what to do,
(50:30):
and what I was telling her is like, we really
need to just remove ourselves from distractions, find do what
Jesus did and he often retreated to desolate places alone
to pray, So find places to be alone, and you know,
she was it was an honest question, like sometimes like
I just feel like hearing God's voice is hard, which
(50:53):
makes praying hard. Like I totally understand that I don't
know that solitude and retreat and meditation with God, and
I don't think that that is like a pill. It's
not a place you just go to like get a
quick answer. It's just it's a place that you constantly
go to. It's a place that I like long to
(51:15):
just go to because I'm like kind of I don't
get it. A lot of times I'm like, God, you
gotta like help me here.
Speaker 3 (51:21):
I don't get it.
Speaker 2 (51:21):
So I go back to that place. And the more
you go back to that place, the clearer that voice gets,
the clearer that direction gets. If you go once for
a prayer and an answer, it's just it's not going
to be the same. So it's this habit of getting
to that place of quiet and still in prayer to
(51:42):
give you some guidance.
Speaker 3 (51:43):
So I hope that's helpful.
Speaker 1 (51:44):
I've recognized that I might have said something wrong at
the beginning of this email, I might have read it wrong.
But as I'm seeing it now, it says I'm a
junior in high school. Did I say that wrong? I
don't know if I said junior high school. I'm in
junior high.
Speaker 3 (51:58):
She's in junior high.
Speaker 1 (51:59):
No, she's a junior in high school. And I think
I read it as she's.
Speaker 2 (52:02):
In junior Yeah, you mentioned something, Okay, so I.
Speaker 1 (52:06):
Just want to clear that up for you, Megan. But
but the the answer still doesn't change. And yeah, So
what Bernie says is so profound, and he always motivates
me and encourages me to find that wilderness and what
you're gonna hear when you when you get into this wilderness,
(52:27):
whatever that is in your life, where you're gonna hear
to the to the to The answer of what does
the Lord want me to do is always a lot
simpler than you think, because you think you're thinking in
terms of college or nursing school, or do I take
a year off, or you're thinking all these things. And
(52:49):
that's why my my counsel of just get good grades
and you can kind of pivot on anything later. If
you don't get good, good, good grades. That's so that's
not the end of the world either. But what you're
gonna find with the Lord, what he wants you to do,
is he wants you to glorify Him and enjoy him forever.
Like in the most simplest way, everything we do revolves
(53:12):
around that. Everything glorify Him and enjoy him forever. That's
what he wants you to do. And within that you'll
find all kinds of peace and hope, joy and understanding,
and these feelings of uncertainty just kind of go away
when you glorify Him and enjoy him forever. And that's
(53:34):
that comes in all different forms. It comes in the
and all of his things that he wants you to
do are all in the Bible, and you'll see him
everywhere ways to glorify him. Telling people the Gospel sharing
the Gospel to someone on the street, to a stranger,
to your mom, reading your Bible, like coming up with
(53:56):
a reading plan, singing and praising on a Sunday morning
with all the saints in the pews around you, singing
and praising in a quiet time in your own car
with your headphones on, by yourself. There's all. There's a
thousand weeks. Bernie and I could sit here in a
thousand ways and tell you ways to glorify Him. And
(54:17):
that's what He wants you to do. And you can
do it through jobs, you could do it. You could
do it through hobbies. But I want to tell you
don't over spiritualize this question. What does the Lord want
me to do? Is it community college? Is it? Stop it?
Unless it's like Bernie said, unless it's a sin, you know,
it's like morally wrong, then the answers obviously know to that.
(54:40):
But I don't think you're asking anything that's morally wrong.
You're just trying to You're trying to know, Lord, what
do you want me to do? And I think that's
the great place to come from. You were in the
perfect heart position to just get on your knees and
go God. I want to serve you. I want to
love you, I want to praise you, want to tell
others about you. I want to be all of this,
(55:02):
not for me, but for you. God show me the path,
be the light to my feet, so I know the
way to glorify you. If you're in that kind of
heart position, you got nothing to worry about, no uncertainty
in your life because you never know what phone call
happens tomorrow, what email happens tomorrow, what new relationship comes
into your life today. You don't know what he has planned.
(55:26):
That's why at the very beginning I said, you tell
people the future is none of my business.
Speaker 3 (55:31):
Yeah, that's so good man.
Speaker 2 (55:34):
You as you were talking, you just kind of gave
me this image of this person standing in front of
this like huge brick wall and Meg, Meg, Yeah, Meg
is coming down a ladder off of the roof of
(55:54):
this really tall building with this huge brick wall and
she gets down to this person and the person says,
look at this. They used all these bricks to make
this beautiful picture of these these like enemies loving each
other or you know like that. Whatever the image is
(56:17):
is like, this is amazing. And Meg, you look up
at the wall you're like, Wow, So that's what my
life was about. I really was just putting one brick
at a time as I was.
Speaker 1 (56:32):
Told beautiful mosaic.
Speaker 2 (56:34):
And then at the end, I think that's we get
so caught up and making our own mural and what
we want our legacy and our life to be. But
maybe it's just about listening to like what's the next
brick and the next one and the next one. And
I think at the end of that, the hope is
is that God has done something that's like, this is
who I am.
Speaker 3 (56:55):
I just used this.
Speaker 2 (56:56):
Person to lay these bricks, and that'd be pretty awesome.
I would I would love at the end of my
life Lifer to stand with you and us look back
and be like, didn't think he was drawing that picture?
Speaker 3 (57:06):
Yeah, I didn't think he was doing that. But wow, man,
what grace right.
Speaker 1 (57:10):
That's beautiful. Man, what a beautiful way to end the
episode two. So we love you guys. We'll see you
next Monday. Thanks for joining me on the Grangersmith podcast.
I appreciate all of you. Guys. You could help me
out by rating this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube,
subscribe to this channel. Hit that little like button and
notification spell so that you never miss anytime I upload
(57:33):
a video. Yi
They don't want to admit they're bad. They want to
say they're they're good, and they're trying to fight this
world the urge. But the fact is, it's not the world,
it's not the culture, it's not society. It's you. What's up, everybody?
(00:22):
Welcome back to the podcast. Episode two two three. Got
my favorite man, Bernie here, one of my best friends
for decades and a frequent guest on the podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
It's an honor privilege every time. I don't take it lightly.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
I could tell you mean that because you drive an
hour to get here.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
Yeah, it's a privilege and it's so cool. I remember
this whole invitation kind of started with me. I don't
know if you remember this, Like me and you and
Leslie and Amber were just sitting around and we're basically
doing what we're doing now, and I think as Amber
was like, yeah, you should have Bernie on the podcast.
It's like you just do what you're doing. And I
(01:03):
was like, okay, I'll do that, so yeah, man, And
then it turned into.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
This, yeah, so y'all what we do? We answer y'all's
questions and I do not know what I'm about to read.
That's it's intriguing for me. I'm actually excited. Just as
I said here, I'm like, man, I have no idea
what we're about to get into on this episode, no clue.
I don't see them at all. I used to at
(01:29):
least sort them. I don't even sort them, forgot ant
Man producing this thing now, so he sorts them, and
I just literally pull it up on this little screen
right here. And if you want to get on this
little screen right here, email podcast at grangersmith dot com.
Podcast at grangersmith dot com. Submit your questions. It goes
to ant Man, and you may even want to tell
(01:51):
him hey, But then everything after that is what I'm
about to read. First question comes from Dalton and it says, Hey, Granger,
I've been a long time watcher of the Smiths and
been a fan of you for a long time. I'm
interested to hear your opinion on tattoos as a Christian,
since that could be a dicey subject. I'm aware that
you obviously have some meaningful tattoos, and I also have
(02:14):
one that I got from my best friend that passed
away in a car accident in February. I appreciate all
you do and look forward to attending another sermon. Next
time you're in Columbus Burns. You got a tattoo? I do?
Speaker 3 (02:25):
I got a couple couple. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
I don't think it's a dicey question subject.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
I think culturally maybe there's like I don't know, everything's
polarizing these days. It's like, well, if you don't believe this,
then you must believe that. And it's like, well, no,
there's nuanced to life and there's so I think that's
probably what he meant by dicey, Like if you say this, then.
Speaker 1 (02:46):
Yeah, so you said if you believe this, and you
must believe this. If you don't believe right.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
Well no, people tend to think, well, if you don't
believe this, then you must believe that, and it's like, well, actually,
maybe I don't believe either of those things.
Speaker 1 (02:59):
Yeah. And the other idea is similar to that is
when hey, mister Christian speaking from you know, outside, Hey,
mister Christian, you can't you can't pick and choose what
you want to believe out of the Bible. And if
you believe this, then you need to believe that. And
if you don't believe that, then you shouldn't believe anything
else in the Bible right, And that's a false statement
(03:22):
because we're called from the Bible itself, as it testifies
to itself, to rightly divide the word of truth. What
does that mean, Well, it means we have to understand
the context of everything we read. We have to we
can't we God intentionally meant everything that's included in the
(03:42):
Bible for an intentional reason, and that intention doesn't always
go straight to us. For example, God commanded Noah to
build an arc. That doesn't mean that we're commanded to
build an arc. He commanded Adam and Eve not to
eat from the tree. He doesn't have any trees that
he's commanded us not to eat from. So there's many
(04:05):
examples like that where we have to understand. Okay, hang on,
let's divide. Let's rightly divide the word. It's all truth,
all of it, but let's rightly divide it into what
we're supposed to take today. And if we're talking about
biblical tattoos, we'll start with the context of the Mosaic law,
which has to be rightly divided into ceremonial and civil
(04:32):
and moral. So if you take those three aspects of
the old Mosaic law, then you have to go okay.
There were certain parts of the law that were civil.
It's like, this is the law of the land. It's
like speeding, don't speed, okay, and then you've got the which,
by the way, speeding changes over generations. A civil law
(04:56):
is not the same in different civilizations. It changes to
pay attention to the civil law in that place, and
then ceremonial that the people at the time were under
ceremonial law for certain reasons that we are just not
under today. One of those reasons, there's many, but one
of them, tattoos, is a good example of one. That
(05:18):
they were called to be holy. The Bible says, you
shall be holy for I the Lord your God, am holy, holy,
meaning separate, separated, different, be you should be different, and
and tattoos were a symbol at the time of the
paganism of the nations around Israel. So one of the
(05:39):
laws was don't mark yourself because that's what the people,
that's what the pagans do. And you know how you
want people to know you're different, and you want to
know you're different. Don't get those tattoos because that deliberately
means that you're one of them, not one of us. Okay,
that's easy. And then there's the moral law. The moral law.
Do not kill, do not commit a dirtary. Oh, it's actually,
(06:02):
do not murder, do not commit adultery, do not lie,
do not steal all that stuff, do not make idols. Okay,
those are the moral law that still lasts today, and
we still abide by that law today. So all that
being said, that that's rightly dividing the truth. Understand the
context of how this stuff was given, and that's why
(06:23):
you might think that this is a dicey subject. It's
actually not. But after all that, this is what I
typically say. I'd get these emails quite a bit on
the podcast. I typically say today, as I read this podcast,
I do not want to get any more tattoos. I'm
not saying I will not, but I'm saying I have
no desire and I would not recommend it to anyone
(06:46):
because not because it's unbiblical or because it it's not
pleasing to God. I'm not going to go there. It's
too deep. I'm not going to go there. But I'm
going to say it's a it's a permanent mark on
your body for probably a temporary feeling that you're having.
So although I do have some and I don't regret them,
(07:07):
I would say, don't get tattoos. Yeah, that was a
long answer, dude.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
I'm sure this may be a time that me and
Griz disagree.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
Great, what bring it? Bring it?
Speaker 2 (07:18):
No, I'm not really, but I'm okay with tattoos.
Speaker 3 (07:22):
You want to get one.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
I think that what you said is important. Don't make
this a permanent decision based on a temporary feeling.
Speaker 3 (07:36):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (07:38):
I got buddies that have, you know, cartoon character tattoos
that they just don't really love those cartoon characters the
way they did it one time.
Speaker 1 (07:46):
It's like, I sure done that.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
Both of the tattoos that I have are very sentimental,
very meaningful, and I do not regret doing them.
Speaker 3 (07:56):
And that's how you kind of want it to be.
Speaker 2 (07:59):
I I think they're awesome. I love asking people about them.
You know, the connection that you can find with people
in the conversation starters. And so yeah, I'm going to
differ a little bit maybe and say yes, make sure
that you know you're you know what it means, because
(08:20):
if you get the Chinese writing that you don't know
what it means, and it's like an insult to Chinese people,
like that's on your body forever, So make sure you
know like all of what it is that you're doing.
But I think it's interesting that he's asking this, but
he already did it or he already has Yeah, he's yeah,
So hopefully he doesn't have like a cartoon or Chinese writing.
Speaker 1 (08:42):
He doesn't know. He says, it's his friend that passed away.
Speaker 2 (08:45):
Yeah, dude, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
Dude, I've got I've got the same stuff. Man, we're
you and I Dalton, We're in the same boat. And
so yeah, I'm not saying I I don't agree with tattoo?
Is it over spiritualizing tat I'm not saying. I'm just
saying as a general advice that I'm going to get
from this microphone on this chair, not yours. I'm just
gonna say, hey, just don't, sir.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
Are you telling me we're not going to get matching
tattoos after this?
Speaker 1 (09:12):
We still I thought we still have to get tattoos.
The next questions from anonymous is I'm a twenty one
year old girl still living at home. I have three
sisters and we have quite a few years apart in
age between us. All I've especially never been close to
my older sister, and it's been a burden to me recently,
(09:33):
and I'm tired of putting energy or thought into it.
She's a single, quiet, introvert, and we are quite different.
She never has been the open type and doesn't put
effort into my life. And what I do point out
is that I just keep praying about it, and I
want to let go of that burden, and it's all
(09:54):
on me right now. I think a friendship needs to
be a two Oh, I get it. I get it.
I have the fear that the distant relationships in our
family is going to continue when or if I have
a family myself and I have quite a few hard
things that have happened in my life and that have
shaped the way I think. Here's the question, how do
(10:17):
I move forward in a healthy way when I see
things differently than my own family and I don't feel
I'm heard when I share my feelings. I love your
podcast and how you're not afraid to be brutally honest,
but it's all in love. Okay, do you understand Anonymous? Here?
Speaker 2 (10:35):
I'm tracking enough to kind of answer the question. I guess,
why don't you just recap and then hit the question.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
So she's twenty one, still lives at home, three sisters,
she's the oldest, she's the oldest. They're all very different,
and that difference and that distance is now a burden
to her, a weight about that. But she's also tired
of trying to repair things and trying to pull the
(11:09):
family together. She feels like she's not heard when she's
trying to do it, and she has a fear that's
only going to get worse. And she also what is
the one part she said she thinks she's the only one,
(11:29):
and I'm trying to find the one part where she's
she's going on about how this is all about her.
Speaker 3 (11:40):
Basically, Yeah, that's what it sounds like.
Speaker 1 (11:42):
Okay, so that I got it, I got it all right.
What do you say to anonymous here? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (11:50):
I think I appreciate where you're at and you care
enough to email in.
Speaker 3 (12:01):
People are just weird, man.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
People are annoying, and family, especially like human beings, we
are just like very different, annoying people. And if you
live with somebody or get close enough to them, you're
going to realize exactly how annoying they are and how
odd and weird and challenging. They are just we're people.
(12:25):
So I think my thought to her is, man, just
try to put on that lens of gratitude and focus
on the good in them, the gift of relationship and family,
and maybe that kind of ushers in the grace that
you can have for them when you're have different thoughts
(12:49):
or different and really you're just as messed up as
they are.
Speaker 3 (12:53):
So that's the bottom line line.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
Yeah, that's good. The thing is and so am I
we all Yeah, yeah, we all deal with this. I
deal with it for sure. The idea that I just
want to be heard, I want so I want to
ask you, like, do you want to be heard or
do you want to fix this relationship? Because those might
be two different things. You say, I don't feel like
i'm heard when I share my feelings and I see
(13:18):
things different than they do. Well, is it was this
ever about you or repairing a family? Because you might
not be able to get both of those things, like
you can't you might not be able to repair this
and be heard and share your feelings and they all
think you're amazing. So repairing the family might be saying
(13:42):
I'm going to deny myself a little bit here and
just say I love you guys. How could I serve?
Speaker 3 (13:49):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (13:49):
What could my role in the family be?
Speaker 2 (13:52):
Yeah, grace and move on to a place where you
do have a little bit healthier communication and you're in
a better place, because then I think if you focus
on that, you focus on them and serving them and
listening to them, I think they may actually hear your
feelings a bit a.
Speaker 3 (14:10):
Little bit better.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
Right, Yeah, Again, you got to find them where they are.
And here's an example. Say one of them is like
really into volleyball, and you're as far from a volleyball
player as anyone could be. Well, what if she's out
in the backyard hypothetically and she's just hitting the volleyball
up against the house. You might want to walk out
(14:34):
there and just go, hey, you need a partner, Hey,
how do I put my hands? How do you do that?
You put your thumbs like this, and you will you
show me how to hit that. You're coming to her level.
You're meeting her where she is, and you're just breaking
all the barriers by doing that. And inside you're thinking,
I hate volleyball. This is so stupid. It's cold out here.
Why are we doing just deny all that and go
(14:57):
this is about repairing a relationship. That's what you wanted
to begin with. Meet them where they are, and then
watch the barriers breakdown. When Amber and I started getting
serious and dating, I wrote her a song. And then
whenever we got married and we needed a first dance
for a wedding, I wrote a song for that. And
then I remember, we got pregnant with London, and I
(15:18):
wrote London a song. And that's always what I've done.
It's what I've always done and what I still do today.
And those songs have been and still are so special
to me. But I realize that not everyone can just
write a song, but that doesn't mean that you still
don't have access to an original song for a special
(15:38):
event or for a special someone in your life. Let
me explain. This is where song Finch comes in. They
could actually write you a song. A real songwriter can
write you a song unique to your own relationship. Whatever
you need it to be written about, this songwriter could
craft it special and unique for you. You know, even
(16:01):
something as simple as I love you. That message can
sometimes be hard to say, but you could say it
through the gift of a song. Valentine's Day's right around
the corner, and you know, flowers might not even cut
it this year, and neither will bears, or chocolate or perfume.
But with Songfinch, you can give the gift of a
memory they'll never forget. What you're gonna get is an
(16:22):
ultimate gift to show how much you care. An original,
studio quality song inspired by your story that's completely unique, personal,
and last forever. Songfinch walks you through four simple steps
in this process to create an original song, and all
you have to do is tell them who the song
is for, Provide you know some personal details, let them
(16:42):
know the type of song you want. Then pick your
favorite Songfinch artist or get matched with one if you
don't know who that is, and they'll pour their heart
into songwriting, recording, producing your original song in just like
four to seven days. That's a week time. That's super
easy and worth it for you. What's better is they
guarantee that you'll love the song, and if you don't,
(17:03):
they'll work with it until you do. This is what
they do over three hundred thousand songs they have written.
For a limited times, Songfinch is letting our listeners upload
their song on Spotify for free, so you could listen
to your new favorite song anywhere you go. Go to
songfinch dot com slash granger and start your song. After
(17:24):
you purchase, you'll be prompted to add Spotify streaming for
your original song for free. That's a fifty dollars value.
This offer is only available for my listeners at my
special url that is songfinch dot com slash Granger. That
songfinch dot com slash Granger. Don't wait, get started now.
Next question is from Travin. It says, Hey Granger, I'm
(17:46):
thirty three. I'm from Florida. Just wanted to say it's
inspiring to watch you battle through adversities. It's been a
blessing to watch the Lord and his strength carry you
through to where you are now. I enjoy all that
you do to serve the Lord and preach his kingdom.
I too went through a painful loss in January twenty
twenty as my mom passed away. While it's far different
(18:07):
from what you went through, it was very deep hurt
for me and crushed me far greater than I ever
could comprehend at the time. It came only a year
after divorcing my college sweetheart, and losing my home to
a Category five hurricane. For so long, I was in
(18:27):
a dark place. I was angry with God. I couldn't
make sense as to why he allowed me to hurt
so much. By his grace, I currently see light that
I'm running to. I honestly just need some encouragement. Man.
Some days I feel so numb. I started back on
antidepressants and they're helping me, but it's a battle. I
(18:51):
could use some encouragement. Okay, let me back up here.
I always always have to clear something up. Anytime I
see this, and I see it quite a bit, I
always have to clear up the one sentence you wrote
where you said, while it's a far far different pain
than what you went through, it's still a very deep
(19:15):
hurt for me. I gotta say, hang on a second.
It's always relative. Pain is relative to what you're going
through in your life. I didn't know your mom, so
therefore I didn't love your mom. You loved your mom,
you didn't love River. I think that's what you're talking about,
(19:37):
and therefore you can't understand that. So it's all relative.
But pain is pain. So I I have not lost
my mom. Bernie has I have not lost my mom,
so I can't relate to what you're saying. But I
do know that pain is pain, loss is loss, love
(19:57):
is love, and losing someone that you love equals grief. Okay,
So let's just establish that you didn't hurt less than me. Okay,
you wrote it crushed me far greater than I ever
could have comprehended at the time. That is a powerful sentence,
by the way, that is powerful. And then it came
(20:20):
after you divorced your college sweetheart, your home to a
Category five hurricane.
Speaker 2 (20:27):
Yeah, did they leave the name.
Speaker 1 (20:32):
Travin?
Speaker 3 (20:33):
Travin? Okay?
Speaker 2 (20:35):
I think if what you're looking for, Travin is encouragement, man,
you should be encouraged to be to go through what
you have been through and to still, as you said,
see the light and be walking towards it and moving
towards it.
Speaker 3 (20:54):
I think that that's pretty awesome, man.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
And to be writing in to granture, to be able
to have the courage to bevulnerable enough with your story,
it takes a lot.
Speaker 3 (21:03):
And so I hope you're encouraged to just.
Speaker 2 (21:05):
Keep one day, one moment at a time, man, practice
the presence of God at each step of the.
Speaker 3 (21:12):
Way for him to walk with you. Yeah. Man, I'm
encouraged by hearing this.
Speaker 1 (21:17):
So we got a similar question last week. Bernie Travin says,
I was angry at God. I couldn't make sense as
to why he allowed me to hurt so much. Now,
we answered that question last week Travin and I could
(21:40):
send you to that episode. It was episode two twenty two,
and I'm going to answer it a different way. Now
I'm gonna give you a new answer that has nothing
to do with the answer I gave last week about
why we should answering the question of I'm angry at God?
Why would he allow me to hurt? And I'll answer
(22:01):
it in the form of one of my favorite psalms,
because I personally have found so much peace in the
psalms and so much encouragement through the psalms, partly because
we're listening to David, who is what we know is
a man after God's own heart, and he just struggled,
(22:25):
but he had a godly struggle. That's a good model
for us. He suffered, but he had a good godly
suffering and he suffered well. So you're not promised as
a Christian that you're not going to suffer. In fact
that if you ever hear that, that's a huge lie.
If someone says, follow Jesus and all your suffering will
(22:45):
be over, Christians laugh, It's like no. Sometimes a lot
of times it's the opposite. In fact, giving up your
life for Christ, denying yourself, which offers eternal life and
offers so much hope and peace joy, giving up yourself
stings a lot. So there's a lot of pain and
(23:06):
suffering that goes through that. Let me read Psal. I'm thirteen,
and you can hear. David. I want you to hear
how he suffers. Well, I also want you to hear
how he asks the same questions you're asking. And then
I want to show you how, even though that's the
way he feels, I want you to see how he
(23:26):
reconciles the way he feels with what he knows of
who God is. It's just six short verses. How long,
o Lord, will you forget me forever? How long will
you hide your face from me? How long must I
(23:49):
take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my
heart all the day? How long shall my enemy be
exalted over me? Consider and answer me Oh Lord, my God,
light up my eyes lest I sleep the sleep of death.
Lest my enemies say I have prevailed over him. Lest
my foes rejoice because I am shaken. But I trust
(24:11):
in your steadfast love. My heart shall rejoice in your salvation.
I will sing to the Lord, because he has dealt
bountifully with me. And you see these kind of psalms
throughout all the happy psalms, you see the lamenting ones,
and you see the ones that attempt to question God.
(24:35):
And it's just great how the Bible gives us this
road map of Oh, you think you're alone. You think
you're the only one that has suffered through loss and
loss of a home and loss of a loved one,
a sweetheart. You think you're the only one that has
felt anger maybe at God, and wondered why he would
(24:56):
allow you to hurt so much. And then we get
back in his word and we go, oh, man, not alone,
We're not alone. We're so far from it.
Speaker 3 (25:04):
Man, So I'm thirteen. That's a good one. That's a
good one to point in to.
Speaker 2 (25:09):
I'll just give you a practical from that, because I
know from experience that what we look at and what
we listen to really dictate a lot of our heart
posture and our minds right what we think about. So
one of my favorites, Shane and Shane did a Psalm
(25:31):
album a long time ago, and they did Psalm thirteen.
Speaker 3 (25:35):
They wrote a song and.
Speaker 2 (25:38):
Just listen to that album of songs of all of
these SOMs, because that is a similar cry, you know,
throughout that throughout Psalms and throughout that record, but that
that song in particular of Psalm thirteen. Just put it
on repeat when you're driving and let let that just
kind of like be what you meditate on, what you
think of. So when you start to kind of go
(25:59):
here and you're like, no, he's been good to me,
like and you're not the first one to suffer and
all those and just be open like, man, what is
God gonna like speak to me through through that?
Speaker 3 (26:12):
So easy way to just keep it.
Speaker 1 (26:14):
That's a great the.
Speaker 3 (26:14):
Front of mind.
Speaker 1 (26:15):
That's a great idea that it's a great record. What's
interesting is that when you when you think about Psalm
thirteen or the mini Psalms that are laments or questions
to God are wrestling with God's what's interesting about it all.
It's like you go, how could these people? Why is
that good to wrestle with God? Well, the answer usually
(26:36):
is you're in communication with him. You're bringing it to him.
That's what he wants. Bring it to me. You got questions,
don't go try to find it in the world. Bring
it to me. Ask me, how will I leave you forever?
How long will I hide my face from you? Ask
me come to me, join me in fellowship, Get on
(26:59):
your knees, because when you do that, you're in a relationship.
We're directly talking, we're communicating, and that's often forgotten.
Speaker 3 (27:09):
Oh for sure.
Speaker 1 (27:10):
Sometimes it's like God, why yeah, why yeah? But you're
talking to him.
Speaker 3 (27:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:16):
It's almost like there's this we're presenting a lack of
faith if we ask the hard questions and it's like, no,
I want to believe even deeper. And if I ask
in I wrestle. That's how I'm going to get to
the deeper. So go and ask those questions, for sure, wrestle.
Speaker 1 (27:33):
Bernie and Bernie asked a question earlier on where do
the word podcast come from? I have no idea. I
looked up a history of the word podcast, and I'm
not that I can't immediately see the answer. So I
would say comment below. If you're listening on a on
(27:54):
a platform that allows you to comment, someone look it
up for us and find out the history of the
word pod cast. Be interested speaking to podcast. If you
have a question for me, email podcast at grangersmith dot com.
And this question comes from Alex says, Hey Granger I'm
(28:14):
a longtime fan of you and the podcast. I'm thirty
years old and in twenty eighteen, I married my wife,
whom I was with for ten years at the time,
and we had a beautiful little girl together. Throughout our relationship,
I had a hard time being faithful to her and
we ended up getting divorced. In twenty twenty, I met
the love of my life and the most amazing woman.
(28:35):
We are so happy together every single day. After being
together three years, I went to a concert with some
of my buddies and there was a woman that was
sitting next to me and we were having a good
time during the show and I ended up getting her
number and some things were said. My girlfriend saw these texts,
knowing my past, she left me. She is the love
(28:57):
of my life and all I want is to be
with her. Some just comes over me and I make
these horrible decisions and they end up flipping my world
upside down. I'm not a bad man, I just know.
I just don't know how to stop these mistakes. I
don't want to cheat. I don't want to be this man. Alex.
(29:19):
That's a good one man. So no real question in there, right,
just to like confession, that's a good question. It's a
good confession because I don't think I've ever seen a
question quite like this one. And and the it's impossible, Alex,
(29:40):
it's impossible for me to give to give you a
good it's not a question. So it's I don't know
if I should say answer or analysis of this without
heavily leaning on my biblical worldview. Same with Burns and
there are there are a couple of things from my
biblical worldview that just scream at me from this email.
(30:03):
And one of them is and probably not definitely not
the thing you're thinking about, but here it is. This
one line says I'm not a bad man. Now. What's
crazy about that is that that's the common understanding. In fact,
Luke Bryan has a song. Have you ever heard that song?
Speaker 2 (30:22):
It's like Greater Smith's the only country that I used
to listen to he retired though Luke Brian is a.
Speaker 1 (30:30):
Song called gets called something like I Believe All people
are good. It's this idea like I believe all people
are good. We're mostly good, and that is, it's a
common idea, and most people think that most people that
think they're good are most people that think that most
people are good. And Alex is one of them. And
(30:52):
he says I'm not a bad man. And and so
he's trying to reconcile this, like as I'm watching the
struggle in the in the email, It's like, man, I'm
trying to wrestle with the idea that I'm not bad.
I'm good, But I just don't know how to stop
making these mistakes. What's going on? I'm not crazy, Granger,
(31:15):
but I you know, I I don't understand how a
good man like there's bad men out there. That's that's
what he's insinuoud.
Speaker 2 (31:23):
That's what he's It's almost like this standard of good
and bad that is, And he doesn't mention anything about
God or Jesus or a biblical worldview, right he doesn't.
Speaker 1 (31:34):
Yeah, he doesn't.
Speaker 2 (31:35):
Yeah, So his standard or his idea, his worldview of
what good and bad is is probably going to be
very different than I know.
Speaker 1 (31:46):
It's great and hey, Alex, I love you, bro, and
I'm really glad you asked this in this way so
that we could answer it in this way, because it's
it's really important to talk about you say, I'm not
a bad man, insinuating that there must be bad men.
(32:06):
There must be people that that are like child traffickers
and rapist murders, the bank robbers, there's there's there must
be some guys like in the hills of South America
that are doing really bad things. Hey, I'm just going
to a concert getting the girl's number, and I just
(32:28):
I like beautiful women. Hey, how do you fault me
on that? Guys? I love beautiful women. That's what That's
what he's saying, Okay, And it's it's really important for
us to kind of reel this in because you emailed
this podcast under this biblical worldview. And here's what the
Bible says. No one is good, not even one. The
(32:50):
Bible says, all of you have gone astray, all have
sinned and fall short of the glory of God, all
of you. That is a crazy thought in the opposite
of the world and so instead of like this grating
on a curve, Like there's these really bad men in
South America that do these horrible things in child trafficking,
(33:13):
and then there's these men that like rob banks. That's
the second tier, and then there's like the third tier
that's like the drunk dad that neglects his children. And
then here's where I am. I'm like the fourth tier,
and that's like just kind of just can't really stay
faithful to a girlfriend. So I'm not bad. The Bible says, no,
all of you bad, all of you, all of your sinners,
(33:36):
oh even you priest, even you monks, even you Buddhist
climb in the mountain in the Himalayas, You're all bad,
And we go, what what about our own conscience agrees
that this is true, because the reason the monks climb
those mountains is because they feel it in them. They
(33:57):
feel the evil in them, and they're trying everything that
can to eradicate it and try to meditate long enough,
or try to be good long enough, or try try
to sacrifice enough things, or to try to try to
read enough of scripture, or try to deny themselves. Women
like that. That's another bad thing to try to say
(34:19):
I'm just gonna be celibate, you know, like I'm not.
I'm not gonna I'm not gonna be with any women ever.
I'm just gonna be seeing. These are all things that
man creates to try to fight against the urge that
they are bad. They don't want to admit they're bad.
They want to say they're they're good, and they're trying
to fight this world, the urge. But the fact is,
it's not the world. It's not the culture, it's not society.
(34:40):
It's you, Alex. You need to hear this. You are bad.
And I could say that because I have the same disease.
It's called sin. We inherited it from our ancestors. And
there's no way you're born. Not one human is born
(35:01):
without it. In fact, if you've do you have kids, yeah,
you have a beautiful little girl. I guarantee you. You
saw her at two years old, you knew she was
a sinner, and she was born with it. There is
no not even a child that is good. There's innocent children.
There's a difference between innocent and sinful, and children are sinful. Man,
(35:23):
They're born with it. So that's the worldview that that's
like the groundbreaking idea that's gonna just shatter this whole email.
Right at the bat, we go, Yeah, we knew you
were bad. You're the only one in this table right here, Alex,
that didn't know you were bad. You didn't know that
your flesh, this lustful idea, that your flesh is reaching
(35:45):
out to these women. You thought that was something the
world was doing to you because of culture. Maybe you're
blaming it on porn. Are you blaming it on Instagram
because it showed you? Are you blame it on this concert?
And these friends took me and this girl is so
beautiful and I'm gonna blame it on her. The Muslims
blame it on the women, like you shouldn't dress like
that cover up because I don't want to look at you,
(36:06):
because I don't want to indulge my flesh, because I
can't help it if I see you, if I see
more than your eyeslits. And so with that, this is
taking a long time, sorry, but under I love this
idea though, because it's this is this is what the
world says, and the contrary to the world, the Bible says,
(36:33):
because of your sin, you can't be with God. You're
you're out, you're disqualified. You want to be with God.
Here's how you get to be with God. Be perfect.
Your heavenly father's perfect, so you should be perfect. That's
how you get to heaven by being perfect. Oh wait
a minute, Alex, you've already failed. I'm sorry, man, You're
(36:55):
not going to make it to heaven. Bernie, are you perfect? No? Neither.
Speaker 2 (37:00):
So we failed one thing you just said, though, you
said this is how you're gonna get to heaven.
Speaker 1 (37:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (37:08):
I don't know if he wants.
Speaker 1 (37:09):
To go there, that's true.
Speaker 3 (37:10):
I don't know if he believes in that. I don't know.
Speaker 2 (37:12):
I think all he's trying to do is not cheat
on his girlfriend or like get a girlfriend.
Speaker 1 (37:16):
Okay, let's go there, so so so build that. Yeah, okay,
we're slowly building.
Speaker 3 (37:23):
I can without the one without the other.
Speaker 1 (37:25):
Alex, We're slowly building this story for you. And what
we're trying to say is you're screwed, dude, because you
got you want to live. You want you want to
have eternal life in the presence of your creator in heaven.
You got to be perfect, and you've already failed it. Okay,
So the only alternative to going to heaven is hell.
(37:46):
You don't want to go there. This life is short,
it's fleeting, it's a vapor, it's gone, So you better
get it while you can. And you might as well
just cheat on every girlfriend and get it where you can,
because you've already screwed and you groot yourself out of
any opportunity after this besides eternal punishment, eternal wrath. That's
what the Bible says. Is that good enough to get
(38:09):
maybe get him thinking about it? Yeah, so I got
something to tell you, though, I do have good news.
I'm in the same boat, Alex, and so's Bernie, and
so's every other man and woman that have walked on
this planet since Jesus. No one is perfect. We're all bad.
(38:30):
So God knows this. So God, in his love for
his people, because he knows that he's perfect, he can't.
If Heaven is this perfect place, it can't have you, Alex.
That would ruin it. You're a cancer. You can't be
in heaven. You're a disease that can't be there. Otherwise
it's not heaven anymore. It's corrupted. So God knows this.
(38:54):
He knows you're corrupted, he knows you have this cancer,
this disease, and he knows I do too. So in
his leve he goes all you people, all you sinners
that have rejected me, that have turned from my way.
I'm going to give you a way to get to me.
I'm going to give you a way that you cannot
earn to get you in heaven without you being perfect.
(39:16):
You need to be perfect to get here. I'm going
to give you perfection a gift. It's a gift of grace.
It's I'm gifting you. The Bible calls it righteousness. We
can call it goodness. I'm going to give you the
goodness that it requires to get here. And I'm gonna
do it through my Son, through his righteousness, his perfection,
(39:37):
his goodness, not yours. You don't have it. I'ma give
it to you through him. If you believe, turn from yourself,
turn from your ways. Look to him. He died on
the cross for the sins of people just like you, Alex.
Look to him, and he forgives, he heals, he redeems.
(40:00):
And then what happens after that, it's crazy. If you believe,
if you are a child of God, after that, through repentance,
which means turning from yourself and looking to him. If
you do that, something changes in you in a way
that you start to hate that sin. It doesn't totally
(40:22):
go away, at least not at the beginning, but when
that girl at the concert shows up and you start talking,
something inside you goes, oh, this is disgusting. I hate this.
My flesh wants to do it, but I don't like it,
so I gotta I got, I can't do it. Sorry,
I'm so sorry. I gotta tell you, girl, I actually
have a serious girlfriend, someone I love. So I'm so sorry,
(40:46):
but no, I'm not gonna take your number. And then
you're gonna go what has happened? Why am I so different? Now?
What's going on with me?
Speaker 2 (40:53):
And also before you would even get into that situation
that you would have to tell that girl that what
he also gives us is community, biblical community of you know, accountability. Yeah, well, grazier,
what if I told you, like, oh, yeah, man, I'm
gonna go to this concert by myself and there's gonna
(41:13):
be a bunch of pretty girls there and probably gonna
drink and like just dance with them, and you're.
Speaker 1 (41:18):
Gonna be you have a history.
Speaker 3 (41:19):
Yeah, yeah, you're.
Speaker 2 (41:21):
Gonna be like, bro, no me and you are going,
you know, to do whatever else that we could do.
We're gonna go fishing, we're gonna go camping, and we're
gonna do something different because you know that that's a
bad idea. And I'd be like, dude, you're right, man,
that's a bad idea. Iron sharpening, iron boom. So yeah,
I think that hear that message. And I think that
(41:45):
there's a hopefully a community that.
Speaker 3 (41:50):
You are a part of.
Speaker 2 (41:51):
If you're not that you become a part of that
can walk alongside you in that journey.
Speaker 1 (41:57):
So next I as can come from anonymous, it says
I have had a crush on a girl for almost
three years now. I haven't told her. I know her
for years. Yeah, that's a long time to not tell her.
I know her family well, and I've spent time with
her a lot. There's a lot that won't fit into
this email that would help the story more. I am
(42:20):
feeling like it's time to tell her since I'm positive
that she likes me because of many different things that
have happened, and we could start dating shortly after. My
question is this, should I tell her parents that I
like her? For them to tell me to do what's
best and since they deserve to know, since it's their daughter,
(42:42):
or should I just tell her? Also, there are so
many different things that have happened to me that makes
me think that she likes me. I still have a
fear of her rejecting me, which would cause me so
much heartbreak and pain because of how much I truly
love her and everything that I've done for her. How
should I go about.
Speaker 2 (43:03):
We jump from having a crush on her to like
deeply really quick?
Speaker 1 (43:09):
Man, how should I go about doing these things? Telling
her these things? If she is going to reject me.
I try to trust God, but it just the thought
of her rejecting me still concerns me. Thank you Granger.
Speaker 2 (43:22):
All right, bro, I love you man like I hear
the youth in your voice, and I love it. I
love your asking the questions. I would have never thought
of that question that you asked. But man, I think
it's brilliant. Talk to her parents, like I think Vodi
Bacham says that. Yeah, Like, talk to her parents and
(43:43):
tell them your intention. A lot of people wait until
they're gonna ask them to marry them, to ask for
the hand. It's like, well, shoot, I wish you would
have asked me whenever you started, because I would have
said no, And now I got to tell you no.
Now it's gonna be awkward, and no. I think if
you go to the parents and you share with them. Look,
(44:04):
me and Jenny, we've been really close for these three years.
I feel like she likes me. I got these little
you know, she's flirting. She did this, and I kind
of want to tell her how I feel about her
and maybe date her. What are you guys thinking about that?
And that's gonna tell you a lot. Yeah, because they
know their daughter and mom may look at you.
Speaker 3 (44:25):
And be like, bro, now, don't don't do that.
Speaker 2 (44:29):
She she likes Johnny. She's been in love with Johnny forever.
And you're gonna save yourself a lot of embarrassment. And
you can just tell the parents, okay, keep this between us,
and then you just go on being a friend and
looking for somebody else.
Speaker 3 (44:43):
But they could also affirm and be like, she talks
about you all the time.
Speaker 2 (44:47):
Yeah, you probably should totally tell her, and you, guys
date and we appreciate you. You're gonna, let's say you do
go on to marry this love of your life. You're
gonna build some trust with those parents and a foundation.
It's going to be great.
Speaker 1 (45:06):
So yeah, man, if in doubt, just tell him.
Speaker 3 (45:09):
Uh there is.
Speaker 1 (45:11):
Vodie Bacham actually wrote a book about it, but I
think he speaks a lot like on YouTube about it.
But but I remember when I first got into that idea.
I was telling London this my daughter and from the
perspective that Bernie and I both have daughters. From that perspective,
it's like it's like a no brainer. Oh yeah, I
would love that, like selfishly as a father, Yes, tell
me first, don't tell her. So Vodi says he has
(45:36):
trained his daughter to say to answer a boy that says,
do you want to go on a date? And the
girl says, what did my dad say? I'm taking that
for sure, So I started just putting that into London.
So that's like, yeah, that's her reaction, what did my
dad say? Next question comes from Megan says, Hey, I'm
(46:00):
a junior high school student, which is the age at
which everyone and their mother seems to be asking the
dreaded question, so what are you going to do with
your life? Whereas I am forced to reply each time,
I'm not quite sure yet I've gotten so much advice
from so many people about my future, but I'm still
left feeling uncertain and a little afraid to commit. I
(46:24):
have put much prayer and tears into this topic, but
I still feel as though I'm a loss at a
loss for the answer. How can I clearly hear what
the Lord wants me to do? Does there have to
be a deadline on this decision? And how do I
know when people ask me about what my future holds? Sorry,
(46:45):
that was a long question, but I know you'll do
your best to answer and understand my side of things. Sincerely, Megan.
Great question for Bernie today.
Speaker 2 (46:55):
Well, I'm not sure if anybody listened to episode two
twenty two, but a very similar question led to my
first breakdown on the podcast and left me in tears.
So what s Granger seemed to think about this?
Speaker 1 (47:07):
Well, Okay, I'll just I'm gonna let you talk because
you've got a lot of stuff to say, Burns, but
I'll just jump in quickly and say, let me give
you an answer. This is a good answer. This is
the good answer to quickly answer the question when someone says,
what are you gonna do with your life? Or what
does your future. Hold those are the two ways you
(47:28):
worded it, And if you're a Christian, I love to say,
my future is none of my business. It's good. It's
all in the Lord's hands. Hey, listen, Meg, I hope
I can call you Meg. I knew Bernie at a
pivotal time in his life, and he knew me in
a pivotal time. You younger, younger versions of ourselves, and man,
(47:51):
I mean, neither one of us we're doing what we're
doing now. Neither one of us planned on what we're
doing now, and we couldn't. So knowing what you're going
to do with your life and your future is irrelevant
to what you're actually going to do. I know, I
recognize that the world wants to tell you that you
(48:12):
need to have a plan, and look at your age,
the plan should be just make good grades, diversify your hobbies,
love the Lord, plant yourself in a really good church,
surround yourself with godly girls. Do those things like that's
(48:33):
enough of a plan for a junior high kid. Make
good grades, diversify your hobbies, plant yourself in a good church,
and surround yourself with godly girls. Do that. That's your future.
Everything else you say it's none of my business. M h.
Speaker 3 (48:47):
That's good.
Speaker 2 (48:48):
She said something about still feeling uncertain, and I think
that that may just be a common thing that you feel.
Like in life, there's just things. Sometimes we just feel uncertain.
But God does call us to be bold and courageous,
So there's in that uncertainty sometimes you have to walk through.
Speaker 3 (49:11):
When I'm making decisions or.
Speaker 2 (49:13):
Trying to figure something out, sometimes I walk through these
three different questions.
Speaker 3 (49:18):
What does the Word say? Okay? Is there any between
my options? Is?
Speaker 2 (49:23):
Is there an explicit direction that's given, Like I want
to do this? Well, the Bible specifically says like don't.
So it's like, okay, well I'm not going to do that.
Speaker 1 (49:32):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (49:33):
Most of what you're probably dealing with is, you know,
what does the Word say about these options? What does
the church say?
Speaker 3 (49:41):
So if you are.
Speaker 2 (49:43):
Amongst you know, a community of people and you get
to share with them, Hey, they you know, want to
do this or this, I don't know what to do,
feel uncertain and just listen to what they say. And
then the last thing is what do you want to do? Like,
what's what's really like? You feel your heart kind of
like drawn to that thing and then work towards being
(50:06):
really good at that thing, whatever that path may be.
I think what I said on the last one to
a very similar question, though, it's the hardest thing. And
I had a conversation with Stella, our ten year old,
last week about this when we don't know what to do,
(50:30):
and what I was telling her is like, we really
need to just remove ourselves from distractions, find do what
Jesus did and he often retreated to desolate places alone
to pray, So find places to be alone, and you know,
she was it was an honest question, like sometimes like
I just feel like hearing God's voice is hard, which
(50:53):
makes praying hard. Like I totally understand that I don't
know that solitude and retreat and meditation with God, and
I don't think that that is like a pill. It's
not a place you just go to like get a
quick answer. It's just it's a place that you constantly
go to. It's a place that I like long to
(51:15):
just go to because I'm like kind of I don't
get it. A lot of times I'm like, God, you
gotta like help me here.
Speaker 3 (51:21):
I don't get it.
Speaker 2 (51:21):
So I go back to that place. And the more
you go back to that place, the clearer that voice gets,
the clearer that direction gets. If you go once for
a prayer and an answer, it's just it's not going
to be the same. So it's this habit of getting
to that place of quiet and still in prayer to
(51:42):
give you some guidance.
Speaker 3 (51:43):
So I hope that's helpful.
Speaker 1 (51:44):
I've recognized that I might have said something wrong at
the beginning of this email, I might have read it wrong.
But as I'm seeing it now, it says I'm a
junior in high school. Did I say that wrong? I
don't know if I said junior high school. I'm in
junior high.
Speaker 3 (51:58):
She's in junior high.
Speaker 1 (51:59):
No, she's a junior in high school. And I think
I read it as she's.
Speaker 2 (52:02):
In junior Yeah, you mentioned something, Okay, so I.
Speaker 1 (52:06):
Just want to clear that up for you, Megan. But
but the the answer still doesn't change. And yeah, So
what Bernie says is so profound, and he always motivates
me and encourages me to find that wilderness and what
you're gonna hear when you when you get into this wilderness,
(52:27):
whatever that is in your life, where you're gonna hear
to the to the to The answer of what does
the Lord want me to do is always a lot
simpler than you think, because you think you're thinking in
terms of college or nursing school, or do I take
a year off, or you're thinking all these things. And
(52:49):
that's why my my counsel of just get good grades
and you can kind of pivot on anything later. If
you don't get good, good, good grades. That's so that's
not the end of the world either. But what you're
gonna find with the Lord, what he wants you to do,
is he wants you to glorify Him and enjoy him forever.
Like in the most simplest way, everything we do revolves
(53:12):
around that. Everything glorify Him and enjoy him forever. That's
what he wants you to do. And within that you'll
find all kinds of peace and hope, joy and understanding,
and these feelings of uncertainty just kind of go away
when you glorify Him and enjoy him forever. And that's
(53:34):
that comes in all different forms. It comes in the
and all of his things that he wants you to
do are all in the Bible, and you'll see him
everywhere ways to glorify him. Telling people the Gospel sharing
the Gospel to someone on the street, to a stranger,
to your mom, reading your Bible, like coming up with
(53:56):
a reading plan, singing and praising on a Sunday morning
with all the saints in the pews around you, singing
and praising in a quiet time in your own car
with your headphones on, by yourself. There's all. There's a
thousand weeks. Bernie and I could sit here in a
thousand ways and tell you ways to glorify Him. And
(54:17):
that's what He wants you to do. And you can
do it through jobs, you could do it. You could
do it through hobbies. But I want to tell you
don't over spiritualize this question. What does the Lord want
me to do? Is it community college? Is it? Stop it?
Unless it's like Bernie said, unless it's a sin, you know,
it's like morally wrong, then the answers obviously know to that.
(54:40):
But I don't think you're asking anything that's morally wrong.
You're just trying to You're trying to know, Lord, what
do you want me to do? And I think that's
the great place to come from. You were in the
perfect heart position to just get on your knees and
go God. I want to serve you. I want to
love you, I want to praise you, want to tell
others about you. I want to be all of this,
(55:02):
not for me, but for you. God show me the path,
be the light to my feet, so I know the
way to glorify you. If you're in that kind of
heart position, you got nothing to worry about, no uncertainty
in your life because you never know what phone call
happens tomorrow, what email happens tomorrow, what new relationship comes
into your life today. You don't know what he has planned.
(55:26):
That's why at the very beginning I said, you tell
people the future is none of my business.
Speaker 3 (55:31):
Yeah, that's so good man.
Speaker 2 (55:34):
You as you were talking, you just kind of gave
me this image of this person standing in front of
this like huge brick wall and Meg, Meg, Yeah, Meg
is coming down a ladder off of the roof of
(55:54):
this really tall building with this huge brick wall and
she gets down to this person and the person says,
look at this. They used all these bricks to make
this beautiful picture of these these like enemies loving each
other or you know like that. Whatever the image is
(56:17):
is like, this is amazing. And Meg, you look up
at the wall you're like, Wow, So that's what my
life was about. I really was just putting one brick
at a time as I was.
Speaker 1 (56:32):
Told beautiful mosaic.
Speaker 2 (56:34):
And then at the end, I think that's we get
so caught up and making our own mural and what
we want our legacy and our life to be. But
maybe it's just about listening to like what's the next
brick and the next one and the next one. And
I think at the end of that, the hope is
is that God has done something that's like, this is
who I am.
Speaker 3 (56:55):
I just used this.
Speaker 2 (56:56):
Person to lay these bricks, and that'd be pretty awesome.
I would I would love at the end of my
life Lifer to stand with you and us look back
and be like, didn't think he was drawing that picture?
Speaker 3 (57:06):
Yeah, I didn't think he was doing that. But wow, man,
what grace right.
Speaker 1 (57:10):
That's beautiful. Man, what a beautiful way to end the
episode two. So we love you guys. We'll see you
next Monday. Thanks for joining me on the Grangersmith podcast.
I appreciate all of you. Guys. You could help me
out by rating this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube,
subscribe to this channel. Hit that little like button and
notification spell so that you never miss anytime I upload
(57:33):
a video. Yi
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