February 19, 2024 • 44 mins
Granger's back, along with Pastor Marshall in this episode, where they offer guidance to others struggling with managing overwhelming emotions, particularly those rooted by the past, dealing with the challenges of dating, finding the motivation to pursue personal goals, dealing with grief, and maintaining relationships with differing belief systems and building a community of understanding and support.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
I'm struggling, I'm sick. I'm in so much pain. They
mock me, they ridicule me, they oppressed me. Is following
you all in vain? Is it worthless?
Speaker 2 (00:21):
All right? Welcome back to the podcast, y'all. We have
Marshall joining us, my pastor and uh, a man of
great advice.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
I appreciate that, man.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Marshall. Where are you from.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
Austin, Texas?
Speaker 2 (00:33):
Well, you are from there.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
I was born there, but we moved around a lot
so Central Texas, so Austin, Georgetown, bas drop back to
Austin Cedar Park for a little bit.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
What about Smithville does that have? Where does that come in?
Speaker 1 (00:47):
That's what I meant by bastrop. Nobody knows who Smithville?
So I say, but that was Junior High High School?
Speaker 2 (00:53):
Okay, yeah? What about before that? You were in Austin.
Speaker 1 (00:57):
Before before Smithville?
Speaker 2 (00:59):
Where was elementary school?
Speaker 1 (01:00):
Elementary school would have been Austin and Cedar Park. We moved.
We moved in the middle of elementary school.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
You were like Central Texas born and raised.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
H yeah, seat in downtown. That's where That's where I
was born.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
There's this, uh, there's this book that Bernie showed me
called the intentional father, and it talked about that term raised. Yeah,
and now it has Roman roots where the woman would
lay the baby on the at the foot of the
father and if he wanted the baby, he would raise
it up in the front of everyone, okay, and if
he didn't want it, he would just turn his back
(01:34):
and walk away. Interesting since then we get that term
raised up like I was raised. I was raised by
my grandparents. I raised by my parents. I've never really
thought about it. What does it even mean raised?
Speaker 1 (01:47):
Yeah? Yeah, I've never thought about That's interesting. Yeah, so
you're raised glad my dad raised me up.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
He raised you up in Central Texas, that's right. Yeah, okay, Yeah,
you want to answer some of these questions, I'll.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
Do my best.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
People love you here. That's why you're back again and
hopefully ford willing many other times.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
I love being here.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
We answer your questions. You email podcast at grangersmith dot com.
And this first one comes from Chastity. It says, Hey Granger,
my name is Chasity. Lately, I've been struggling with emotions
and getting so easily upset over the past past hurts
that are resurfacing. I was explaining to my husband that
(02:28):
some days I feel so on fire for Jesus and
I want to tell everyone about him, and I'm so
excited to be a child of God. Then there are
other times when I feel so overwhelmed and emotional, over
feeling ignored by others, are just over things that have
already happened. My question is how do I have faith?
(02:50):
Because I know that it isn't always based on feelings,
it's more trust. And do I keep from getting so
overwhelmed by emotions and acting out saying things that hurt others?
Thank you so much for all you do God blass
All right, chassity, let me recap from my own mind here.
You're wondering. First of all, your big question is how
(03:10):
do I have faith? And then you say, because it
isn't always based on feelings, it's more trust, and do
I keep from getting how do I keep from getting
overwhelmed by emotions and acting out saying things that hurt others?
So there's like stuff under here that we don't totally
(03:30):
know about. In your question, it's kind of it's a
parent that you're acting out and hurting others, and that
is part of the purpose of this email, and that
you're saying is associated with your past hurts that are resurfacing.
(03:53):
I'm explaining for myself, but all this is totally normal.
This isn't abnormal for someone to say an email just
like this. But the fact that you say, I feel
so on fire for Jesus and I want to tell
everybody about him. And then there are other times we're
just overwhelmed by emotion. That's yes, we hear you, Marshall.
(04:18):
Where do you start with chastity?
Speaker 1 (04:21):
Well, one, you you don't want to put your feelings
against your faith. They're not enemies, right, one you live
by and one you just experience. And so faith is
the assurance of things, hope for no matter what you're feeling,
positively or negatively, you're on the highest high of the
lowest low. You're not letting your feelings dictate your steps forward.
(04:44):
And so your your faith comes in when you when
you try to think through Okay, I know what I'm feeling,
but what do I know to be true? What do
I know God's word says about the situation I'm in?
And a lot of times, especially when it's the negative
feeling of pain and hurt and suffering, the truth is well,
(05:05):
God said we're going to experience this. This is a
broken world. I'm not I shouldn't be chasing comfort and
peace here and now. I should be finding my peace
in Christ. Should be chasing the promise of God that
this is not the end. There's something better when Christ returns.
And so that's where my hope is. And so I
(05:26):
can experience the hurt and the pain and the suffering
in a way that doesn't overwhelm me because I know
this is not a lasting thing, that this will end.
But then it also keeps in check the positive emotions
that we have and the positive feelings when we might
be tempted to put too much stock into the current situation.
(05:47):
If only I can stay in this specific situation, this circumstance,
then everything's going to be good moving forward.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
And so yeah, that's interesting. You start right, you go
right out the gate and you say we shouldn't pit
our feelings and our trusting or would you say.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
You can't pit feelings in faith against each other?
Speaker 2 (06:09):
Chastity you said, because I know that it isn't always
based on my feelings, And so yeah, it's interesting that
Marshall's saying, why do you need to make those two
completely separate things like as if feelings are crushing your faith, right, Yeah, yeah,
it's what she's implying. And we see that, We've seen
it in the Psalms all the time. David wrestles through this.
(06:31):
In fact, you're preaching on it.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
This Sunday, I'm preaching on Psalm seventy three, where the
psalm ist Uh sees all this, these wicked people prospering.
He says, they're healthy, they have all this money, they
have no problems. The biggest problem they have is the
fact that they die at some point. But until then
(06:53):
they just live these great lives. And me, who I'm
seeking to follow? You got I'm struggling, I'm sick, I'm
in so much pain. They mock me, they ridicule me,
they oppress me. Is following you all in vain? Is
it worthless? Is?
Speaker 2 (07:06):
Like?
Speaker 1 (07:06):
What is it?
Speaker 2 (07:07):
And right there that's real feelings.
Speaker 1 (07:10):
That's real feelings. Yeah, And so there's not the sense
of hey, stop feeling that way. Yeah, Like you can't.
You can't control the way you interpret the situation or
how you respond to the interpretation of the situation, right,
Like you're gonna experience things in your life that will
they will cause your feelings to ebb and flow. They're
gonna go up and down, and so your faith is
(07:31):
how you respond to those feelings. It's not like, Okay,
don't feel one way so that you can be faithful.
It's how are you going to be faithful in the
way that you're feeling.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
So let's stop right there and just define that because
you're saying Chassidy says, because I know it, my faith
is not based on feelings, and Marshall's saying, no, your
faith is how you respond to the feelings.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
Right, yeah, I mean think about Paul and first Thessalonians.
When he says, you know, when we have loved ones,
who ones or friends, you know, things like that, who
who are followers of Jesus who die? He says, we
don't grieve as those who have no hope. And the
second part is tends to be what we lean on.
It's like, oh, you have hope, so so like be hopeful.
(08:14):
And that's true, but the first part is equally as important.
He says, we don't grieve as those who have no hope.
So there's the there's the reality that he's presenting. But
you're gonna grieve, You're gonna feel that pain. So you're
gonna have that feeling of hurt and sorrow, but that
grief doesn't find permanent residence in your soul because of
(08:34):
the hope that you have. And so he's showing that
right there. Your faith is going to be the response
to the feeling of grief that you have because it's
the hope that you have and so okay, this grief
is not going to be a lasting grief. Yeah. So
it's just that was really helpful when my mom passed away,
was thinking through that of in some stmes, I felt
(08:57):
for a little bit that I wasn't able to grieve
fully because I just grew up where it was kind
of like, hey, you're a Christian, have hope. You know
there's resurrection one day and she's in a better place
and all that kind of stuff. But and really studying
first Thessalonians and seeing that it hit me pretty hard. No,
(09:18):
Paul acknowledges we're gonna have grief and that is an
appropriate time to grief, but that grief doesn't stay, it's
not lasting because there's something greater than that and that's
what my faith is in.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
Oh, this is so good.
Speaker 1 (09:32):
So you want your faith to instruct how you work
through your how you process your feelings. And that's exactly
what's happening in Psalm seventy three in the sermon this week,
Like he lists all these things that he's struggling with,
and I'm bringing this up in the sermon. The interesting
thing is he lists all this injustice that he sees
and the wicked prospering and everything, But the issue that
he actually confesses to God is the fact that he
(09:54):
was envious of all that. So his biggest concern wasn't
that they were experiencing this process sparity. It was the
fact that he wasn't. And so he's trying to process
all of this, and it says like the turning point
of the psalm is when he says, when I thought
to understand this, I was exhausted. It was wearisome task
to me until I went to the sanctuary and I learned.
(10:18):
And so there's a shift where he takes his feelings,
his doubts, his thoughts to the Lord in faith and
basically says, I need you to help me understand this.
I know what's true is that You're good. He says
at the start of the song, he says, truly, God
is good. He says, I know this is true, but
this is what I'm seeing. I need you to help
me understand and reconcile these two things. So there his
(10:40):
faith is influencing his feelings in the sense of directing
where he moves forward from them. He could have just
stayed in those feelings right of doubt and hurt and envy,
but in faith, he takes it to the Lord and says,
I need you to help me understand this. And by
the end of it, he's like, whom have I in
heaven but you on earth? There's nothing to desire besides
you you. And so he really comes to understand. I
(11:03):
was starting to treasure so many things above you, and
it caused me to feel this way. But when you
showed me the end of all of it, so he said,
you know, the wicked they they'll perish. They'll be judged
for their wickedness that you're they're doing. So whatever prosperity
they have, now that's that's the extent of their their happiness,
because they're going to get judged. But as for me,
(11:25):
this pain and suffering I'm experiencing now pales in comparison
to the to the glory. I'm gonna be with with
you one day. And so that faith helps him get
through the feelings of doubt and grief and envy and pain.
Speaker 2 (11:39):
So that's so good. So Chastity kind of give you
some some practical application for this. The at your words,
you're excited to be a child of God. So as
a child of God, you are told that you will suffer,
you will have feelings, you will grieve, you will sin.
(12:01):
You told a lot of things about yourself, and it
never says that you won't be that, or you won't
do that, or you won't feel that. But what the
Bible does it helps you to make sense of those
feelings and when you do suffer, how to suffer well,
when you do grieve, how to grieve with hope. So
(12:23):
that's the application for you, is that you will go
through these The fact that you feel or go through
these things doesn't mean you're a bad child of God.
But how you respond to it is what we want
you to know. And then then we're going to get
into spiritual disciplines with this conversation, because what Marshall is
basically saying is when he lost his mother and I
(12:45):
don't know how the scenario worked out, but you went
to the Bible with your feelings. So, for instance, chastity,
when you say, well what do I how does that
look like? Bring it to God? When I bring my feet,
what does that look like? Well it means. It could
mean a dark room with a cup of coffee in
(13:09):
your Bible and you go to your Bible in prayer.
It's like, Lord, I'm coming to your word. I feel this.
I think I'm grieving this way, I'm suffering in this way,
I have sinned in this way, and I'm taking this
to you, meaning practically, I'm sitting here with the Bible
in my lap, and Marshall's saying when this happened with
his mother, he found a word in there that transformed
(13:32):
and gave him understanding to understand the suffering he was
going through. Yeah, there's a lot. We could talk for
probably an hour about spiritual disciplines and how the different
things you could set up chastity in your life to
help walk through these I don't think it's necessary to
do that in this podcast.
Speaker 1 (13:52):
I think the only thing I would say based on
what she said in the email is feeling things based
on past experiences. I think there is something to where
we shouldn't dwell so much on the past. The Lord
has us where we're at today for a reason, and
to keep bringing up things in the past is going
to keep bringing up the same emotions. And so there's
(14:16):
a sense of just keep moving forward, keep pressing on
in faith. No, you can't go back and change things,
and that God was sovereign over all of it. So
you are where you are today for a reason, and
and just don't don't dwell so much on the past. Really,
I mean, I've told some of our people, like, the
(14:37):
only thing you should dwell on that's in the past
is the Cross because of all the implications that come
from that, and that fuels the faith going forward. So
it's good.
Speaker 2 (14:47):
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(15:30):
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That's Better Help HLP dot com slash Granger. Next question
(16:41):
comes from Grace. Hey, Granger, have been listening to your
podcast a lot and I feel very motivated by them.
What is your advice you'd give to someone who's never
dated at the age of nineteen, How to pick themselves
up when everyone around you has a boyfriend who is
already hanging out with their significant other instead of you,
and then make me feel lonely by myself? How do
(17:03):
I keep faith and trust in God, knowing that he
has a plan for my future when I'm starting to
lose hope? There it is again, thank you for everything
you do for others. Grace, Hey, Grace, thanks for emailing.
I'm nineteen years old. That once again not an uncommon question.
You're not alone in asking this, And for you to
(17:24):
be nineteen and single and have never dated and looking
around at a lot of other people that are dating
now is very common, very normal. Although it seems like
you're the only one I could tell you just from
this podcast alone, from two hundred and twenty six episodes,
I could tell you here by far, you're not alone.
(17:47):
You have a lot of people going through this, and
that's the first part. We'll start with that. The second
part is nineteen seems so old, but you're so young,
have so much. You have so much, and and I
would be so encouraged by you that you've actually not
dated in you're nineteen, and so you think of what
(18:08):
you what you've been saved from, you know, because all
these people you're looking at and all these bad breakups,
and probably the next question we get, I don't know,
this is something bad that's happening in a relationship that
people are trying to look Hey, the question we just
had from Chastity, so she's looking back at the past,
at things that are now resurfacing. It probably has to
(18:30):
do with a relationship and grace. You are free from
that right now. You have a clean slate, And so
let's start with that's that's your first paragraph. And how
to keep my faith and trust God knowing that he
has a plan for the future when I'm starting to
lose hope. That's that's that. And then then the middle
(18:55):
part of your question is how to stop looking at
everyone around you? So just try to think just purely
practical marshal on this without getting too deep with this.
I'm gonna assume. I'm going to assume that social media
is part of the problem. It seems a pretty good
assumption in twenty twenty four, at being nineteen, that you're
(19:19):
gonna see something else popping up on social media when
it's another one of your friends and they're in a
relationship and they're having a good time and you're left out.
Do you get What are your thoughts on social media?
And have you and your wife Alex thought about any
(19:39):
safeguards for your own kids.
Speaker 1 (19:42):
I mean, we've started talking about it. Our oldest is nine,
so you can go all the way at a time,
But I mean, who knows what it'll be out there
by then?
Speaker 2 (19:49):
Right, So in ten years Kim is Grace nineteen. Those
are ten quick years. Oh yeah, So let's think of
Kim as your daughter as Grace in the situation, right,
what are you telling her?
Speaker 1 (20:04):
Yeah, I mean, if she's telling me she's losing hope
on asking what her hope is in, right, that's it.
But I'm not gonna I'm I'm not gonna go to
deep into that because I don't know yet, But that's
gonna dictate kind of the some of the practical advice
I give her, because I mean, part of it would
be what you've already said like, yeah, nineteen seems like
you're you're behind the game that you should have already
(20:25):
dated multiple guys by this point. And it's like you
got plenty of time. Out of all the people I've
ever met, I've only met two who or like I've
married my high school sweetheart yep too, out of all
the people. Yeah, And so it's you know, the odds
are not strong in that favor for that. And so
(20:47):
when I think through people dating, it's it's why do
you want to date? Right? Like, if you're wanting to
date just to date, that's just gonna lead to hurt
because there's no end game in that. It's just and
it's really about yourself. When really, when you think about
a relationship, in a relationship, you should be thinking about
(21:08):
the other person above yourself, and if both people are
doing that, that leads to a good relationship.
Speaker 2 (21:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (21:13):
Right. And so if the idea is I just I
want to date because I feel like I should have
dated by now, that's difficult because you've made it more
about you than anybody else. Now I have talked two
people who feel like I haven't dated yet because I
must not be good enough. Nobody's found me attractive, nobody
(21:35):
finds me lovable, nobody nobody wants to be with me,
And then if that's the case, then then then we
have a whole other discussion on our hands. Right, So,
if Kim's telling me that, like, I feel like I'm
I'm worthless, I feel like nobody loves me, nobody cares
for me, nobody wants to be with me again at nineteen,
(21:55):
I'm pushing against that a little bit, saying, hey, you're
only nineteen, don't stress about it. But you know you
could take the conversation in two different ways at that point.
Speaker 2 (22:03):
So, yeah, I don't think Grace is going there.
Speaker 1 (22:05):
I don't think so either, which why I didn't start there. Yeah,
but I do think there is the sense it sounds
more like I feel like I should have dated by now, yes,
and I haven't.
Speaker 2 (22:14):
And so yeah, if London, my daughter came to me
and said, Dad, could you could you give me an
example of something you would love for me to say
in the next seven years, I would say, I would
love for you in the next seven years to say
I've never dated anyone and I'm still nineteen. I'm just nineteen.
(22:34):
I would I would love that for my daughter so
what you have, grace is truly a gift, and I
hope you see it that way. And because then we
can go to your last question, how do you keep
faith and trust in God? Knowing he has a plan
for your future? But you're starting to lose hope? And
I go, if I'm your father, Grace, I say, my
(22:56):
hope is that you are still single at nineteen. So
how much more would our heavenly Father want for us? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (23:03):
And I think there's a sense of you know, how
do I I can't remember how she worded it right there,
you know, you just read it, but you know, how
do I remain faithful? Trusting God? And this whole thing?
I mean, it's interesting because his word actually speak speaks
to this when Paul says, I wish you were all single,
because then you could devote a lot of time to
the ministry like I'm doing just to not not like
(23:24):
paid ministry or working at a church, but just there's
so much you could be doing for God right now
when you don't have to worry about a significant other,
you don't have to worry about children. You have so
many freedoms in that sense. And so what scripture speaks
to this is if you're nineteen and you're not dating,
the Lord actually says that's a good thing. And if
(23:46):
that's the case, if you're not dating, if you haven't
found somebody that you're potentially getting married to, if he
hasn't brought that person into your life, then he's put
you in a position where you have a lot of
freedoms to serve him in specific ways. And so, you know,
how do I remain faithful without losing hope and knowing
what God's plan is for me in this His plan
for you is just to glorify Him and everything, whether
(24:08):
you're dating or not. And so when you're not dating,
you have all these freedoms that you can do to
serve him better. And so how do you do it?
What's the practical step? Figure out the ways you're serving
the Lord? How are you seeking to glorify Him in
everything you're presently doing. You know, as you know, I'm
assuming you're in church being a Christian, and so there's
(24:29):
you know, you can go on mission trips more easily
than if you were, you know, with somebody or you know,
have kids. That's more difficult when you get those situations
in your life. So you can go on mission trips,
you can you can be in more Bible, you can
go to Bible study, you can be in meeting with
more ladies in the church for discipleship and then discipling
some of the the the the younger ladies in the church.
(24:53):
And so you have all these opportunities to be serving
the Lord. And you know, how how am I supposed
to know God's plan for my life in this point? Well,
he actually tells you, if you're single, you have all
the freedoms to do so many things. Yeah, so go
and do them.
Speaker 2 (25:06):
I was just I don't remember. I don't remember if
you're with me or not, Marshall. But recently someone told me,
I don't remember who was. They told me they met
their wife on mission.
Speaker 1 (25:16):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 2 (25:17):
It's like, oh man, that's a pretty good place to
meet your your future spouse. Yeah, so that's what he's saying. Yeah, yeah, Well,
is there a is there a book we could recommend Grace.
Speaker 1 (25:29):
Not Yet Married? Not not Yet Married by Marshall? Uh Siegel?
Speaker 2 (25:34):
Okay, s E g A L.
Speaker 1 (25:36):
I believe cool. So good question.
Speaker 2 (25:39):
I'm a fan of the outdated book. Jonathan Bakluda outdated,
I think that is, it's probably the closest target to
your exact question here, Even though that's coming from a
married man, it's always a little bit more difficult when
it's coming from someone's not in your situation at all.
Next question comes from Austin Hey Granger. I live in
(26:02):
North Georgia. I'm twenty two years old and a few
months away and hopefully getting engaged to my girlfriend of
four years. I've been listening to this podcast for about
a year now, and my question for you is about
growing my faith and reading the Bible a couple of mine.
A goal of mine is to eventually read the whole Bible.
I've tried to start multiple times, but I always end
(26:23):
up not following through. I always get stuck feeling like
reading the Bible just to read is a chore, and
I don't feel like I get as much out of
it as I do when I study certain topics, for example,
doing a devotional or reading along with a pastor at church.
Should I focus on reading the whole Bible, and if so,
(26:44):
what would be the best way to focus on that?
Or should I just read and study certain topics. Thanks
for all you do to help build the Kingdom of God,
God Bless, and that is Austin. Austin, I'm gonna agree
with you right off the bat. It's something you said.
You said, I feel stuck, feeling like reading the Bible
just to read it is a chore, and I don't
(27:06):
feel like I get as much out of it when
I do. I agree, and I think God would agree.
If you're reading it just to read it. I mean,
I don't really know anything in life you could say
that about doing something just to do it, You're not
going to get anything out of it, regardless of filling
the blank with whatever that is, including the Bible. So
(27:29):
when the Bible becomes a chore, or when you think
of the Bible as something that you need to read
because that's what you need to do, it is certainly
getting into the category of works for righteousness at that point.
It's it is becoming you said the word often a chore.
So if that's where you are, and you're like, man,
(27:51):
I've heard people say I should read the whole Bible,
and I feel like I probably should read the whole Bible.
It just makes sense, but I cannot stand doing it,
and I've tried and I've given up, and it feels
like a chore because I'm just doing it because I'm
trying to, you know, put a check in the box.
And to all that, I say, Okay, then we probably
(28:12):
need to aim lower, and we need to we need
to go backwards a little bit and in the spiritual disciplines,
like we mentioned earlier, let's let's back up a little bit.
Because first of all, what I always like to encourage
is instead of thinking of reading the entire Bible, I
(28:32):
don't really even like that terminology. I don't like to
think of it in that way because it immediately makes
me think of reading it to finish it. And it
should never be like that. And unless you're taking some
kind of math class, then I don't think any book
should be looked at as reading it just to finish it.
(28:54):
What good is it at all? So back way up,
aim way lower. You know what I want to I
want to start. I'm want to start reading to the
Book of John. But I don't want to necessarily read
the Book of John. I don't want to read the
whole Bible, and I don't want to read the whole
Book of John. I just want to read the first chapter.
(29:16):
And if that seems like too much. Then I just
want to read the first page in my Bible of John.
I'm want to start there because I know that this
whole Bible reading thing something I should do. But your
eyes have to be open to that. And this is
this is from someone speaking to you right now that
(29:36):
understands what it felt like to have my eyes closed
to it, to have the dust collecting on the Bible itself.
And I can't tell you. I can't open your eyes, Austin,
and I can't tell you that you need to be
doing this. And if you want to be a Christian,
you need to read your Bible. I can't. I can't
do it. I can only encourage you if you're going.
I'm hungry, I love God. My eyes are open, I
(29:59):
want to know. I want to know word and I'm
gonna go. Let me show you where it is and
try to hear in the Bible. And you've probably heard
me go through that whole spill before on this podcast
or somewhere else. And that's not what I would say
to you. To you, I would say, we have to
get our heart right first, and that's gonna start with prayer. Yeah,
(30:20):
And it's like I'm thinking, I'm just trying to picture
this and try to give you just a practical look
for this, Austin. And so I'm thinking, I hate to
always say early in the morning, but you know, for
me in my life, the morning is better for my
personal reading because that's before my phone starts buzzing and
(30:44):
the emails come in, and Amber has things for me
to do, and I've got other obligations, so before all
that starts. This is why I always go there. I
would get there, Austin, in the time of day when
nothing's going on, and just go, Lord, here I am.
And my mind tells me that I should be reading
(31:07):
this because I've heard it said that this is your word.
But Lord, I'm struggling to want to do it, to
the desire to do it, and I feel like that's
a I feel like it's a problem. And I also
realized that God, but my heart is in your hands.
Will you soften my heart? Will you open up these
(31:29):
pages where you open up this word, so that so
that I crave it, so that I long for it,
so I thirst for it like a dear thirst for
living waters. You know, I want that. I want that
from me. I want to I want to desire this,
will you open up that for me? God? And then
(31:49):
at that point, Austin, you're not going, Okay, Genesis one,
here we go. Now You're like, so I'm gonna start
with these first couple of paragraphs of John one. In
the beginning was the Word, and the word is with God,
and then the word was God. He was in the
beginning with God. And you're just kind of working through that,
and then you stop and you pray, you read it again.
(32:11):
Maybe I'll say what I mean, five to ten minutes. Yeah,
close the Bible the next morning, picking up where you
left off, same prayer. Yeah, second chapter. Yeah, you know,
just just slowly, aim lower. That's what I'm trying to
(32:33):
tell you, aim lowered, to stop thinking about finishing the
Bible and closing the back of Revelation and going I
did it, I did it. Shock it up for another one,
for another person that's read the Bible. Don't be that guy, Austin.
I'm gonna shut up and let Marshall guide on this. No.
Speaker 1 (32:48):
I mean, I think all that's good man, and I
don't want to repeat anything Grander said, So I'll just
try to add a couple of other practical stuff I
would encourage you to find somebody who's a little more
mature in the faith than you will be. And that's
(33:09):
not saying you're immature. That's just saying we all have
people who are more mature. I have more people in
my lives who are more mature believers than I am,
and so I go and I am discipled by them.
But when you read scripture with somebody else, there's something
different that happens, right because you start it's now a
it's like a three person conversation, like God is speaking,
(33:33):
and then you're with this other person kind of talking
about what God is saying, and one that helps hold
you accountable to actually doing it. But more importantly, they
might see something that you don't, not something new, not
something that's like hidden in between the verses, but where
you they they'll say, do you realize what he's saying here?
(33:55):
He's actually connecting it back to this And then you're going, oh, wow,
I never made that connection. That's helpful. Little stuff like
that then starts feeding that appetite for the word. I mean,
if you think about eating healthy like the stuff that
you're supposed to be eating, nobody just jumps dives in it.
Nobody over eats the healthy stuff, right. But the more
(34:18):
you cut out junk and the more you start picking
up the healthy stuff, you start craving it a little
bit more. And so there's a sense of the more
you do it, the hungrier you'll get for it. Like
Grangeer was saying, but I think when you have somebody
else doing it with you, that that helps kind of
grow that hunger and that desire for it. And then
(34:42):
you know, I hope you're in church. If you're not
gonna encourage you get in church, but if you can,
if there's a way to do it, figure out what's
getting preached the next Sunday. So like at our church,
what I try to do is on Tuesday or Wednesdays
earlier on Tuesdays, I try to send out, hey, this
is the sermon text that is coming on Sunday. And
(35:03):
the reason I'm doing this because I'm praying that the
church throughout the week is reading that passage and so
that might be you might read that same passage every
single day. And what you're doing at that point is
you're trying to see, Okay, what is this text saying,
and how's the pastor going to preach this techt like,
what are some things he might be pulling out of this?
And I mean, in fact, what we try to do
(35:24):
is we actually try to give out two months worth
of texts, So, hey, this is a schedule we're going through.
So the people should be reading those things to get
an understanding of what it is. And so if you're
able to in your church, figure out what the next
sermon text is and use that as kind of your
guide of what to be reading, and then maybe read
the passages around it. So if he's preaching ten verses,
read twenty of them and kind of see what's happening
(35:44):
around it and use that for your guide of what
you're going to be reading. That way, you don't set
unrealistic goals for yourself. If you've never read the Bible
in depth before and you go, all right, this year,
I'm going the entire cover to cover. Yeah, that's like
saying I've never swam before when I'm diving in the
deep end from the high dive, like we're going, and
you're just like, that's not gonna be successful. You got
(36:07):
to you gotta ease yourself into it.
Speaker 2 (36:08):
So I smiled earlier because I was just thinking Austin.
First of all, I'm encouraged by your email. Thank you
for this, But man, I pray, I pray that people
come to me. Any believer would think the same thing.
In your community right now in North Georgia, any believer
is praying that somebody like you would call them or
(36:29):
text him and go, I really want to read the Bible?
Would you do that with me? Oh? Man? Like, so
much of the the work I did, the evangelistic work
I do, is ground up stuff, or it's from from
people that don't want it, or they're rejecting God and
they and they come to me with these questions, these
like apologetic questions, and it's more rare that someone's like,
(36:53):
you know what, I think this is important. I'm hungry.
Will you will you walk this with me? And every
believer in North Georgia says yes, I will. I will.
How about tomorrow? How about coffee tomorrow? So you know,
if you're looking to get a hold of me, maybe
(37:13):
have me send you a message you know that's available
to you right now at cameo dot com slash Grangersmith
if you want a personal message, Happy birthday, happy anniversary,
maybe a bit of encouragement maybe even a prayer. I
could do that and you could find me. You could
tell me exactly what you need from me. You could
write it out. Hey, Granger, it's my brother's birthday. He's
(37:34):
doing this and that he's into this, He's not into that,
he's turning this many years old. Would you please wish
him a happy birthday? And I'll do that right here
on my phone. I record it and send you the
video message of me saying that. You can get that
at cameo dot com slash Granger Smith anytime. In fact,
I do these all the time. Again, it's cameo dot
(37:55):
com slash Granger Smith. You could also download the cameo
app and search for me Granger Smith. Next question comes
from Nicole. It says, Hey, I'd like to get your
input on the practice of manifestation. I have a friend
who recently started a new business venture that focuses on
manifesting yourself, ridding yourself of negative energy, and embracing the
(38:18):
power of your body to heal. While I personally believe
Jesus is the only answer, I'm having a hard time
processing what this new outspoken belief system of my friend
does for our friendship. Should I let it change the
relationship that we have. I find myself slightly pulling away
from that relationship because how can you be close to
(38:38):
someone who has such a different foundational belief? Is it
wrong for me to step back from a friendship due
to differences of opinion? I want to surround myself with
godly like minded people who can encourage and help me grow.
I'm excited to take to hear your approach on this
friendship and also the practice of manifestation itself. Nicole. Thank you.
Speaker 1 (39:05):
Marshall.
Speaker 2 (39:05):
We don't have like a ton of time on this,
and so we don't and I don't think it really
needs a lot of time. But one red flag, Nicole,
that you have recognized, and maybe you don't even realize it,
but your friend is starting a new business venture that's
focusing on this. Like that sid says something right there.
(39:26):
This is not like a faith thing or something that
she's really It doesn't sound like she's something she's really
finding comfort in and practicing. She's starting a business venture
and there's big business in this. Manifesting yourself, ridding yourself
of negative energy, embracing the power of yourself to heal yourself.
(39:49):
You know, like those are all just huge red flags
for a Christian and I feel like you know that.
And I don't really think you have to hear from
me and Marshall on why we think that is an
unhealthy thing, So we won't. I don't think we need
(40:09):
to go there. What we can do is talk about
the middle part of your question is saying you're talking
about the relationship with your friend, and you want to
be around people that are encouraging you and and helping
your belief and helping you grow. And to that, I say,
this is why the Bible will warn us, especially as
(40:32):
new believers or ones that are weaker in the faith,
to be careful when we are associating with these new ideas,
because when you hear basically, this is a myth right.
So when we hear these myths, we could drift off
into this nonsense and actually start believing it ourselves if
(40:56):
we're around it too much. That's a warning. If you're
newer or weaker in your faith. If that's not you, Nicole,
and you're like, no, you know, I feel strong in
my faith, then this is definitely an evangelistic opportunity for
you that you don't want to cut off necessarily you
don't want to say, hey, I don't believe in that stuff,
(41:18):
and because of that, I can't even talk to you.
I don't even want to be friends with you. That's
not a good thing. That's not a good message to
your friend. And it's really if she's dying in this,
which she is, and you're cutting off a lifeline to
her by saying, you know what, I just don't agree
(41:39):
with what you're saying, and I don't want it to
start affecting me. Well, discourage that. So these are the
two scenarios for her, and I don't know really which
one she is.
Speaker 1 (41:50):
Yeah, yeah, I just think when we have people who
are close to this in our lives to start chasing
a different a myth chasing, chasing a myth, chasing false teaching. Basically,
the guardrails we have is don't embrace it, don't ignore it,
(42:15):
but engage with with them.
Speaker 2 (42:18):
So don't cut them off.
Speaker 1 (42:20):
Yeah yeah, don't cut them off. Don't cut her off,
but you also don't interact with her in a way
where you're like, I just won't talk about religion. I
won't talk about faith, I won't talk about spirituality, I
won't I pretend like she has her way, I have
my way. You want to be able to have the
conversations with her where she knows you disagree, but you
(42:42):
can have loving and truthful conversations with her about why
you disagree, great, and why you're concerned for her soul.
Speaker 2 (42:50):
For this, you can ask her questions like, how do
you rid yourself of negative energy? Explain that to me.
It's a great conversation I started with someone like this.
Speaker 1 (43:00):
Yeah, But on the flip side too, I think it
also means you're putting in the effort outside of that
relationship to grow and you're understanding better of what you
believe so that you're not carried away, Yes, by this
other teaching. So this, this friendship now may require even
more effort than it did previously because outside of it,
(43:21):
you're trying to equip yourself and strengthen yourself to engage
with her in a meaningful, loving, but direct way when
it comes to this issue, because it isn't just could
ruin our friendship or I don't want to rock the boat,
but instead it's, uh, this is extremely dangerous for her
(43:42):
soul and for those she's influencing, And so you want
to you want to treat her in love with the truth,
and and and pray that the Lord would would help
her to see the truth and help you grow in
the truth.
Speaker 2 (43:55):
So that's all we got. I love you, guess see
you next Monday. Thanks for joining me on the Grangersmith Podcast.
I appreciate all of you guys. You could help me
out by rating this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube,
subscribe to this channel. Hit that little like button and
the notification spell so that you never miss anytime I
(44:16):
upload a video. If you have a question for me
that you would like me to answer, email Grangersmith Podcast
at gmail dot com. Yie
I'm struggling, I'm sick. I'm in so much pain. They
mock me, they ridicule me, they oppressed me. Is following
you all in vain? Is it worthless?
Speaker 2 (00:21):
All right? Welcome back to the podcast, y'all. We have
Marshall joining us, my pastor and uh, a man of
great advice.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
I appreciate that, man.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Marshall. Where are you from.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
Austin, Texas?
Speaker 2 (00:33):
Well, you are from there.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
I was born there, but we moved around a lot
so Central Texas, so Austin, Georgetown, bas drop back to
Austin Cedar Park for a little bit.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
What about Smithville does that have? Where does that come in?
Speaker 1 (00:47):
That's what I meant by bastrop. Nobody knows who Smithville?
So I say, but that was Junior High High School?
Speaker 2 (00:53):
Okay, yeah? What about before that? You were in Austin.
Speaker 1 (00:57):
Before before Smithville?
Speaker 2 (00:59):
Where was elementary school?
Speaker 1 (01:00):
Elementary school would have been Austin and Cedar Park. We moved.
We moved in the middle of elementary school.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
You were like Central Texas born and raised.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
H yeah, seat in downtown. That's where That's where I
was born.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
There's this, uh, there's this book that Bernie showed me
called the intentional father, and it talked about that term raised. Yeah,
and now it has Roman roots where the woman would
lay the baby on the at the foot of the
father and if he wanted the baby, he would raise
it up in the front of everyone, okay, and if
he didn't want it, he would just turn his back
(01:34):
and walk away. Interesting since then we get that term
raised up like I was raised. I was raised by
my grandparents. I raised by my parents. I've never really
thought about it. What does it even mean raised?
Speaker 1 (01:47):
Yeah? Yeah, I've never thought about That's interesting. Yeah, so
you're raised glad my dad raised me up.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
He raised you up in Central Texas, that's right. Yeah, okay, Yeah,
you want to answer some of these questions, I'll.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
Do my best.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
People love you here. That's why you're back again and
hopefully ford willing many other times.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
I love being here.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
We answer your questions. You email podcast at grangersmith dot com.
And this first one comes from Chastity. It says, Hey Granger,
my name is Chasity. Lately, I've been struggling with emotions
and getting so easily upset over the past past hurts
that are resurfacing. I was explaining to my husband that
(02:28):
some days I feel so on fire for Jesus and
I want to tell everyone about him, and I'm so
excited to be a child of God. Then there are
other times when I feel so overwhelmed and emotional, over
feeling ignored by others, are just over things that have
already happened. My question is how do I have faith?
(02:50):
Because I know that it isn't always based on feelings,
it's more trust. And do I keep from getting so
overwhelmed by emotions and acting out saying things that hurt others?
Thank you so much for all you do God blass
All right, chassity, let me recap from my own mind here.
You're wondering. First of all, your big question is how
(03:10):
do I have faith? And then you say, because it
isn't always based on feelings, it's more trust, and do
I keep from getting how do I keep from getting
overwhelmed by emotions and acting out saying things that hurt others?
So there's like stuff under here that we don't totally
(03:30):
know about. In your question, it's kind of it's a
parent that you're acting out and hurting others, and that
is part of the purpose of this email, and that
you're saying is associated with your past hurts that are resurfacing.
(03:53):
I'm explaining for myself, but all this is totally normal.
This isn't abnormal for someone to say an email just
like this. But the fact that you say, I feel
so on fire for Jesus and I want to tell
everybody about him. And then there are other times we're
just overwhelmed by emotion. That's yes, we hear you, Marshall.
(04:18):
Where do you start with chastity?
Speaker 1 (04:21):
Well, one, you you don't want to put your feelings
against your faith. They're not enemies, right, one you live
by and one you just experience. And so faith is
the assurance of things, hope for no matter what you're feeling,
positively or negatively, you're on the highest high of the
lowest low. You're not letting your feelings dictate your steps forward.
(04:44):
And so your your faith comes in when you when
you try to think through Okay, I know what I'm feeling,
but what do I know to be true? What do
I know God's word says about the situation I'm in?
And a lot of times, especially when it's the negative
feeling of pain and hurt and suffering, the truth is well,
(05:05):
God said we're going to experience this. This is a
broken world. I'm not I shouldn't be chasing comfort and
peace here and now. I should be finding my peace
in Christ. Should be chasing the promise of God that
this is not the end. There's something better when Christ returns.
And so that's where my hope is. And so I
(05:26):
can experience the hurt and the pain and the suffering
in a way that doesn't overwhelm me because I know
this is not a lasting thing, that this will end.
But then it also keeps in check the positive emotions
that we have and the positive feelings when we might
be tempted to put too much stock into the current situation.
(05:47):
If only I can stay in this specific situation, this circumstance,
then everything's going to be good moving forward.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
And so yeah, that's interesting. You start right, you go
right out the gate and you say we shouldn't pit
our feelings and our trusting or would you say.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
You can't pit feelings in faith against each other?
Speaker 2 (06:09):
Chastity you said, because I know that it isn't always
based on my feelings, And so yeah, it's interesting that
Marshall's saying, why do you need to make those two
completely separate things like as if feelings are crushing your faith, right, Yeah, yeah,
it's what she's implying. And we see that, We've seen
it in the Psalms all the time. David wrestles through this.
(06:31):
In fact, you're preaching on it.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
This Sunday, I'm preaching on Psalm seventy three, where the
psalm ist Uh sees all this, these wicked people prospering.
He says, they're healthy, they have all this money, they
have no problems. The biggest problem they have is the
fact that they die at some point. But until then
(06:53):
they just live these great lives. And me, who I'm
seeking to follow? You got I'm struggling, I'm sick, I'm
in so much pain. They mock me, they ridicule me,
they oppress me. Is following you all in vain? Is
it worthless? Is?
Speaker 2 (07:06):
Like?
Speaker 1 (07:06):
What is it?
Speaker 2 (07:07):
And right there that's real feelings.
Speaker 1 (07:10):
That's real feelings. Yeah, And so there's not the sense
of hey, stop feeling that way. Yeah, Like you can't.
You can't control the way you interpret the situation or
how you respond to the interpretation of the situation, right,
Like you're gonna experience things in your life that will
they will cause your feelings to ebb and flow. They're
gonna go up and down, and so your faith is
(07:31):
how you respond to those feelings. It's not like, Okay,
don't feel one way so that you can be faithful.
It's how are you going to be faithful in the
way that you're feeling.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
So let's stop right there and just define that because
you're saying Chassidy says, because I know it, my faith
is not based on feelings, and Marshall's saying, no, your
faith is how you respond to the feelings.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
Right, yeah, I mean think about Paul and first Thessalonians.
When he says, you know, when we have loved ones,
who ones or friends, you know, things like that, who
who are followers of Jesus who die? He says, we
don't grieve as those who have no hope. And the
second part is tends to be what we lean on.
It's like, oh, you have hope, so so like be hopeful.
(08:14):
And that's true, but the first part is equally as important.
He says, we don't grieve as those who have no hope.
So there's the there's the reality that he's presenting. But
you're gonna grieve, You're gonna feel that pain. So you're
gonna have that feeling of hurt and sorrow, but that
grief doesn't find permanent residence in your soul because of
(08:34):
the hope that you have. And so he's showing that
right there. Your faith is going to be the response
to the feeling of grief that you have because it's
the hope that you have and so okay, this grief
is not going to be a lasting grief. Yeah. So
it's just that was really helpful when my mom passed away,
was thinking through that of in some stmes, I felt
(08:57):
for a little bit that I wasn't able to grieve
fully because I just grew up where it was kind
of like, hey, you're a Christian, have hope. You know
there's resurrection one day and she's in a better place
and all that kind of stuff. But and really studying
first Thessalonians and seeing that it hit me pretty hard. No,
(09:18):
Paul acknowledges we're gonna have grief and that is an
appropriate time to grief, but that grief doesn't stay, it's
not lasting because there's something greater than that and that's
what my faith is in.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
Oh, this is so good.
Speaker 1 (09:32):
So you want your faith to instruct how you work
through your how you process your feelings. And that's exactly
what's happening in Psalm seventy three in the sermon this week,
Like he lists all these things that he's struggling with,
and I'm bringing this up in the sermon. The interesting
thing is he lists all this injustice that he sees
and the wicked prospering and everything, But the issue that
he actually confesses to God is the fact that he
(09:54):
was envious of all that. So his biggest concern wasn't
that they were experiencing this process sparity. It was the
fact that he wasn't. And so he's trying to process
all of this, and it says like the turning point
of the psalm is when he says, when I thought
to understand this, I was exhausted. It was wearisome task
to me until I went to the sanctuary and I learned.
(10:18):
And so there's a shift where he takes his feelings,
his doubts, his thoughts to the Lord in faith and
basically says, I need you to help me understand this.
I know what's true is that You're good. He says
at the start of the song, he says, truly, God
is good. He says, I know this is true, but
this is what I'm seeing. I need you to help
me understand and reconcile these two things. So there his
(10:40):
faith is influencing his feelings in the sense of directing
where he moves forward from them. He could have just
stayed in those feelings right of doubt and hurt and envy,
but in faith, he takes it to the Lord and says,
I need you to help me understand this. And by
the end of it, he's like, whom have I in
heaven but you on earth? There's nothing to desire besides
you you. And so he really comes to understand. I
(11:03):
was starting to treasure so many things above you, and
it caused me to feel this way. But when you
showed me the end of all of it, so he said,
you know, the wicked they they'll perish. They'll be judged
for their wickedness that you're they're doing. So whatever prosperity
they have, now that's that's the extent of their their happiness,
because they're going to get judged. But as for me,
(11:25):
this pain and suffering I'm experiencing now pales in comparison
to the to the glory. I'm gonna be with with
you one day. And so that faith helps him get
through the feelings of doubt and grief and envy and pain.
Speaker 2 (11:39):
So that's so good. So Chastity kind of give you
some some practical application for this. The at your words,
you're excited to be a child of God. So as
a child of God, you are told that you will suffer,
you will have feelings, you will grieve, you will sin.
(12:01):
You told a lot of things about yourself, and it
never says that you won't be that, or you won't
do that, or you won't feel that. But what the
Bible does it helps you to make sense of those
feelings and when you do suffer, how to suffer well,
when you do grieve, how to grieve with hope. So
(12:23):
that's the application for you, is that you will go
through these The fact that you feel or go through
these things doesn't mean you're a bad child of God.
But how you respond to it is what we want
you to know. And then then we're going to get
into spiritual disciplines with this conversation, because what Marshall is
basically saying is when he lost his mother and I
(12:45):
don't know how the scenario worked out, but you went
to the Bible with your feelings. So, for instance, chastity,
when you say, well what do I how does that
look like? Bring it to God? When I bring my feet,
what does that look like? Well it means. It could
mean a dark room with a cup of coffee in
(13:09):
your Bible and you go to your Bible in prayer.
It's like, Lord, I'm coming to your word. I feel this.
I think I'm grieving this way, I'm suffering in this way,
I have sinned in this way, and I'm taking this
to you, meaning practically, I'm sitting here with the Bible
in my lap, and Marshall's saying when this happened with
his mother, he found a word in there that transformed
(13:32):
and gave him understanding to understand the suffering he was
going through. Yeah, there's a lot. We could talk for
probably an hour about spiritual disciplines and how the different
things you could set up chastity in your life to
help walk through these I don't think it's necessary to
do that in this podcast.
Speaker 1 (13:52):
I think the only thing I would say based on
what she said in the email is feeling things based
on past experiences. I think there is something to where
we shouldn't dwell so much on the past. The Lord
has us where we're at today for a reason, and
to keep bringing up things in the past is going
to keep bringing up the same emotions. And so there's
(14:16):
a sense of just keep moving forward, keep pressing on
in faith. No, you can't go back and change things,
and that God was sovereign over all of it. So
you are where you are today for a reason, and
and just don't don't dwell so much on the past. Really,
I mean, I've told some of our people, like, the
(14:37):
only thing you should dwell on that's in the past
is the Cross because of all the implications that come
from that, and that fuels the faith going forward. So
it's good.
Speaker 2 (14:47):
Amber and I were told one time it happened, but
it is not happening. This podcast is brought to you
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(15:30):
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and part of that therapy though, was building our relationship,
even though when we didn't even know it. We were
working through doing putting in the work for each other,
for understanding each other, for understanding how we respond or
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That's Better Help HLP dot com slash Granger. Next question
(16:41):
comes from Grace. Hey, Granger, have been listening to your
podcast a lot and I feel very motivated by them.
What is your advice you'd give to someone who's never
dated at the age of nineteen, How to pick themselves
up when everyone around you has a boyfriend who is
already hanging out with their significant other instead of you,
and then make me feel lonely by myself? How do
(17:03):
I keep faith and trust in God, knowing that he
has a plan for my future when I'm starting to
lose hope? There it is again, thank you for everything
you do for others. Grace, Hey, Grace, thanks for emailing.
I'm nineteen years old. That once again not an uncommon question.
You're not alone in asking this, And for you to
(17:24):
be nineteen and single and have never dated and looking
around at a lot of other people that are dating
now is very common, very normal. Although it seems like
you're the only one I could tell you just from
this podcast alone, from two hundred and twenty six episodes,
I could tell you here by far, you're not alone.
(17:47):
You have a lot of people going through this, and
that's the first part. We'll start with that. The second
part is nineteen seems so old, but you're so young,
have so much. You have so much, and and I
would be so encouraged by you that you've actually not
dated in you're nineteen, and so you think of what
(18:08):
you what you've been saved from, you know, because all
these people you're looking at and all these bad breakups,
and probably the next question we get, I don't know,
this is something bad that's happening in a relationship that
people are trying to look Hey, the question we just
had from Chastity, so she's looking back at the past,
at things that are now resurfacing. It probably has to
(18:30):
do with a relationship and grace. You are free from
that right now. You have a clean slate, And so
let's start with that's that's your first paragraph. And how
to keep my faith and trust God knowing that he
has a plan for the future when I'm starting to
lose hope. That's that's that. And then then the middle
(18:55):
part of your question is how to stop looking at
everyone around you? So just try to think just purely
practical marshal on this without getting too deep with this.
I'm gonna assume. I'm going to assume that social media
is part of the problem. It seems a pretty good
assumption in twenty twenty four, at being nineteen, that you're
(19:19):
gonna see something else popping up on social media when
it's another one of your friends and they're in a
relationship and they're having a good time and you're left out.
Do you get What are your thoughts on social media?
And have you and your wife Alex thought about any
(19:39):
safeguards for your own kids.
Speaker 1 (19:42):
I mean, we've started talking about it. Our oldest is nine,
so you can go all the way at a time,
But I mean, who knows what it'll be out there
by then?
Speaker 2 (19:49):
Right, So in ten years Kim is Grace nineteen. Those
are ten quick years. Oh yeah, So let's think of
Kim as your daughter as Grace in the situation, right,
what are you telling her?
Speaker 1 (20:04):
Yeah, I mean, if she's telling me she's losing hope
on asking what her hope is in, right, that's it.
But I'm not gonna I'm I'm not gonna go to
deep into that because I don't know yet, But that's
gonna dictate kind of the some of the practical advice
I give her, because I mean, part of it would
be what you've already said like, yeah, nineteen seems like
you're you're behind the game that you should have already
(20:25):
dated multiple guys by this point. And it's like you
got plenty of time. Out of all the people I've
ever met, I've only met two who or like I've
married my high school sweetheart yep too, out of all
the people. Yeah, And so it's you know, the odds
are not strong in that favor for that. And so
(20:47):
when I think through people dating, it's it's why do
you want to date? Right? Like, if you're wanting to
date just to date, that's just gonna lead to hurt
because there's no end game in that. It's just and
it's really about yourself. When really, when you think about
a relationship, in a relationship, you should be thinking about
(21:08):
the other person above yourself, and if both people are
doing that, that leads to a good relationship.
Speaker 2 (21:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (21:13):
Right. And so if the idea is I just I
want to date because I feel like I should have
dated by now, that's difficult because you've made it more
about you than anybody else. Now I have talked two
people who feel like I haven't dated yet because I
must not be good enough. Nobody's found me attractive, nobody
(21:35):
finds me lovable, nobody nobody wants to be with me,
And then if that's the case, then then then we
have a whole other discussion on our hands. Right, So,
if Kim's telling me that, like, I feel like I'm
I'm worthless, I feel like nobody loves me, nobody cares
for me, nobody wants to be with me again at nineteen,
(21:55):
I'm pushing against that a little bit, saying, hey, you're
only nineteen, don't stress about it. But you know you
could take the conversation in two different ways at that point.
Speaker 2 (22:03):
So, yeah, I don't think Grace is going there.
Speaker 1 (22:05):
I don't think so either, which why I didn't start there. Yeah,
but I do think there is the sense it sounds
more like I feel like I should have dated by now, yes,
and I haven't.
Speaker 2 (22:14):
And so yeah, if London, my daughter came to me
and said, Dad, could you could you give me an
example of something you would love for me to say
in the next seven years, I would say, I would
love for you in the next seven years to say
I've never dated anyone and I'm still nineteen. I'm just nineteen.
(22:34):
I would I would love that for my daughter so
what you have, grace is truly a gift, and I
hope you see it that way. And because then we
can go to your last question, how do you keep
faith and trust in God? Knowing he has a plan
for your future? But you're starting to lose hope? And
I go, if I'm your father, Grace, I say, my
(22:56):
hope is that you are still single at nineteen. So
how much more would our heavenly Father want for us? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (23:03):
And I think there's a sense of you know, how
do I I can't remember how she worded it right there,
you know, you just read it, but you know, how
do I remain faithful? Trusting God? And this whole thing?
I mean, it's interesting because his word actually speak speaks
to this when Paul says, I wish you were all single,
because then you could devote a lot of time to
the ministry like I'm doing just to not not like
(23:24):
paid ministry or working at a church, but just there's
so much you could be doing for God right now
when you don't have to worry about a significant other,
you don't have to worry about children. You have so
many freedoms in that sense. And so what scripture speaks
to this is if you're nineteen and you're not dating,
the Lord actually says that's a good thing. And if
(23:46):
that's the case, if you're not dating, if you haven't
found somebody that you're potentially getting married to, if he
hasn't brought that person into your life, then he's put
you in a position where you have a lot of
freedoms to serve him in specific ways. And so, you know,
how do I remain faithful without losing hope and knowing
what God's plan is for me in this His plan
for you is just to glorify Him and everything, whether
(24:08):
you're dating or not. And so when you're not dating,
you have all these freedoms that you can do to
serve him better. And so how do you do it?
What's the practical step? Figure out the ways you're serving
the Lord? How are you seeking to glorify Him in
everything you're presently doing. You know, as you know, I'm
assuming you're in church being a Christian, and so there's
(24:29):
you know, you can go on mission trips more easily
than if you were, you know, with somebody or you know,
have kids. That's more difficult when you get those situations
in your life. So you can go on mission trips,
you can you can be in more Bible, you can
go to Bible study, you can be in meeting with
more ladies in the church for discipleship and then discipling
some of the the the the younger ladies in the church.
(24:53):
And so you have all these opportunities to be serving
the Lord. And you know, how how am I supposed
to know God's plan for my life in this point? Well,
he actually tells you, if you're single, you have all
the freedoms to do so many things. Yeah, so go
and do them.
Speaker 2 (25:06):
I was just I don't remember. I don't remember if
you're with me or not, Marshall. But recently someone told me,
I don't remember who was. They told me they met
their wife on mission.
Speaker 1 (25:16):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 2 (25:17):
It's like, oh man, that's a pretty good place to
meet your your future spouse. Yeah, so that's what he's saying. Yeah, yeah, Well,
is there a is there a book we could recommend Grace.
Speaker 1 (25:29):
Not Yet Married? Not not Yet Married by Marshall? Uh Siegel?
Speaker 2 (25:34):
Okay, s E g A L.
Speaker 1 (25:36):
I believe cool. So good question.
Speaker 2 (25:39):
I'm a fan of the outdated book. Jonathan Bakluda outdated,
I think that is, it's probably the closest target to
your exact question here, Even though that's coming from a
married man, it's always a little bit more difficult when
it's coming from someone's not in your situation at all.
Next question comes from Austin Hey Granger. I live in
(26:02):
North Georgia. I'm twenty two years old and a few
months away and hopefully getting engaged to my girlfriend of
four years. I've been listening to this podcast for about
a year now, and my question for you is about
growing my faith and reading the Bible a couple of mine.
A goal of mine is to eventually read the whole Bible.
I've tried to start multiple times, but I always end
(26:23):
up not following through. I always get stuck feeling like
reading the Bible just to read is a chore, and
I don't feel like I get as much out of
it as I do when I study certain topics, for example,
doing a devotional or reading along with a pastor at church.
Should I focus on reading the whole Bible, and if so,
(26:44):
what would be the best way to focus on that?
Or should I just read and study certain topics. Thanks
for all you do to help build the Kingdom of God,
God Bless, and that is Austin. Austin, I'm gonna agree
with you right off the bat. It's something you said.
You said, I feel stuck, feeling like reading the Bible
just to read it is a chore, and I don't
(27:06):
feel like I get as much out of it when
I do. I agree, and I think God would agree.
If you're reading it just to read it. I mean,
I don't really know anything in life you could say
that about doing something just to do it, You're not
going to get anything out of it, regardless of filling
the blank with whatever that is, including the Bible. So
(27:29):
when the Bible becomes a chore, or when you think
of the Bible as something that you need to read
because that's what you need to do, it is certainly
getting into the category of works for righteousness at that point.
It's it is becoming you said the word often a chore.
So if that's where you are, and you're like, man,
(27:51):
I've heard people say I should read the whole Bible,
and I feel like I probably should read the whole Bible.
It just makes sense, but I cannot stand doing it,
and I've tried and I've given up, and it feels
like a chore because I'm just doing it because I'm
trying to, you know, put a check in the box.
And to all that, I say, Okay, then we probably
(28:12):
need to aim lower, and we need to we need
to go backwards a little bit and in the spiritual disciplines,
like we mentioned earlier, let's let's back up a little bit.
Because first of all, what I always like to encourage
is instead of thinking of reading the entire Bible, I
(28:32):
don't really even like that terminology. I don't like to
think of it in that way because it immediately makes
me think of reading it to finish it. And it
should never be like that. And unless you're taking some
kind of math class, then I don't think any book
should be looked at as reading it just to finish it.
(28:54):
What good is it at all? So back way up,
aim way lower. You know what I want to I
want to start. I'm want to start reading to the
Book of John. But I don't want to necessarily read
the Book of John. I don't want to read the
whole Bible, and I don't want to read the whole
Book of John. I just want to read the first chapter.
(29:16):
And if that seems like too much. Then I just
want to read the first page in my Bible of John.
I'm want to start there because I know that this
whole Bible reading thing something I should do. But your
eyes have to be open to that. And this is
this is from someone speaking to you right now that
(29:36):
understands what it felt like to have my eyes closed
to it, to have the dust collecting on the Bible itself.
And I can't tell you. I can't open your eyes, Austin,
and I can't tell you that you need to be
doing this. And if you want to be a Christian,
you need to read your Bible. I can't. I can't
do it. I can only encourage you if you're going.
I'm hungry, I love God. My eyes are open, I
(29:59):
want to know. I want to know word and I'm
gonna go. Let me show you where it is and
try to hear in the Bible. And you've probably heard
me go through that whole spill before on this podcast
or somewhere else. And that's not what I would say
to you. To you, I would say, we have to
get our heart right first, and that's gonna start with prayer. Yeah,
(30:20):
And it's like I'm thinking, I'm just trying to picture
this and try to give you just a practical look
for this, Austin. And so I'm thinking, I hate to
always say early in the morning, but you know, for
me in my life, the morning is better for my
personal reading because that's before my phone starts buzzing and
(30:44):
the emails come in, and Amber has things for me
to do, and I've got other obligations, so before all
that starts. This is why I always go there. I
would get there, Austin, in the time of day when
nothing's going on, and just go, Lord, here I am.
And my mind tells me that I should be reading
(31:07):
this because I've heard it said that this is your word.
But Lord, I'm struggling to want to do it, to
the desire to do it, and I feel like that's
a I feel like it's a problem. And I also
realized that God, but my heart is in your hands.
Will you soften my heart? Will you open up these
(31:29):
pages where you open up this word, so that so
that I crave it, so that I long for it,
so I thirst for it like a dear thirst for
living waters. You know, I want that. I want that
from me. I want to I want to desire this,
will you open up that for me? God? And then
(31:49):
at that point, Austin, you're not going, Okay, Genesis one,
here we go. Now You're like, so I'm gonna start
with these first couple of paragraphs of John one. In
the beginning was the Word, and the word is with God,
and then the word was God. He was in the
beginning with God. And you're just kind of working through that,
and then you stop and you pray, you read it again.
(32:11):
Maybe I'll say what I mean, five to ten minutes. Yeah,
close the Bible the next morning, picking up where you
left off, same prayer. Yeah, second chapter. Yeah, you know,
just just slowly, aim lower. That's what I'm trying to
(32:33):
tell you, aim lowered, to stop thinking about finishing the
Bible and closing the back of Revelation and going I
did it, I did it. Shock it up for another one,
for another person that's read the Bible. Don't be that guy, Austin.
I'm gonna shut up and let Marshall guide on this. No.
Speaker 1 (32:48):
I mean, I think all that's good man, and I
don't want to repeat anything Grander said, So I'll just
try to add a couple of other practical stuff I
would encourage you to find somebody who's a little more
mature in the faith than you will be. And that's
(33:09):
not saying you're immature. That's just saying we all have
people who are more mature. I have more people in
my lives who are more mature believers than I am,
and so I go and I am discipled by them.
But when you read scripture with somebody else, there's something
different that happens, right because you start it's now a
it's like a three person conversation, like God is speaking,
(33:33):
and then you're with this other person kind of talking
about what God is saying, and one that helps hold
you accountable to actually doing it. But more importantly, they
might see something that you don't, not something new, not
something that's like hidden in between the verses, but where
you they they'll say, do you realize what he's saying here?
(33:55):
He's actually connecting it back to this And then you're going, oh, wow,
I never made that connection. That's helpful. Little stuff like
that then starts feeding that appetite for the word. I mean,
if you think about eating healthy like the stuff that
you're supposed to be eating, nobody just jumps dives in it.
Nobody over eats the healthy stuff, right. But the more
(34:18):
you cut out junk and the more you start picking
up the healthy stuff, you start craving it a little
bit more. And so there's a sense of the more
you do it, the hungrier you'll get for it. Like
Grangeer was saying, but I think when you have somebody
else doing it with you, that that helps kind of
grow that hunger and that desire for it. And then
(34:42):
you know, I hope you're in church. If you're not
gonna encourage you get in church, but if you can,
if there's a way to do it, figure out what's
getting preached the next Sunday. So like at our church,
what I try to do is on Tuesday or Wednesdays
earlier on Tuesdays, I try to send out, hey, this
is the sermon text that is coming on Sunday. And
(35:03):
the reason I'm doing this because I'm praying that the
church throughout the week is reading that passage and so
that might be you might read that same passage every
single day. And what you're doing at that point is
you're trying to see, Okay, what is this text saying,
and how's the pastor going to preach this techt like,
what are some things he might be pulling out of this?
And I mean, in fact, what we try to do
(35:24):
is we actually try to give out two months worth
of texts, So, hey, this is a schedule we're going through.
So the people should be reading those things to get
an understanding of what it is. And so if you're
able to in your church, figure out what the next
sermon text is and use that as kind of your
guide of what to be reading, and then maybe read
the passages around it. So if he's preaching ten verses,
read twenty of them and kind of see what's happening
(35:44):
around it and use that for your guide of what
you're going to be reading. That way, you don't set
unrealistic goals for yourself. If you've never read the Bible
in depth before and you go, all right, this year,
I'm going the entire cover to cover. Yeah, that's like
saying I've never swam before when I'm diving in the
deep end from the high dive, like we're going, and
you're just like, that's not gonna be successful. You got
(36:07):
to you gotta ease yourself into it.
Speaker 2 (36:08):
So I smiled earlier because I was just thinking Austin.
First of all, I'm encouraged by your email. Thank you
for this, But man, I pray, I pray that people
come to me. Any believer would think the same thing.
In your community right now in North Georgia, any believer
is praying that somebody like you would call them or
(36:29):
text him and go, I really want to read the Bible?
Would you do that with me? Oh? Man? Like, so
much of the the work I did, the evangelistic work
I do, is ground up stuff, or it's from from
people that don't want it, or they're rejecting God and
they and they come to me with these questions, these
like apologetic questions, and it's more rare that someone's like,
(36:53):
you know what, I think this is important. I'm hungry.
Will you will you walk this with me? And every
believer in North Georgia says yes, I will. I will.
How about tomorrow? How about coffee tomorrow? So you know,
if you're looking to get a hold of me, maybe
(37:13):
have me send you a message you know that's available
to you right now at cameo dot com slash Grangersmith
if you want a personal message, Happy birthday, happy anniversary,
maybe a bit of encouragement maybe even a prayer. I
could do that and you could find me. You could
tell me exactly what you need from me. You could
write it out. Hey, Granger, it's my brother's birthday. He's
(37:34):
doing this and that he's into this, He's not into that,
he's turning this many years old. Would you please wish
him a happy birthday? And I'll do that right here
on my phone. I record it and send you the
video message of me saying that. You can get that
at cameo dot com slash Granger Smith anytime. In fact,
I do these all the time. Again, it's cameo dot
(37:55):
com slash Granger Smith. You could also download the cameo
app and search for me Granger Smith. Next question comes
from Nicole. It says, Hey, I'd like to get your
input on the practice of manifestation. I have a friend
who recently started a new business venture that focuses on
manifesting yourself, ridding yourself of negative energy, and embracing the
(38:18):
power of your body to heal. While I personally believe
Jesus is the only answer, I'm having a hard time
processing what this new outspoken belief system of my friend
does for our friendship. Should I let it change the
relationship that we have. I find myself slightly pulling away
from that relationship because how can you be close to
(38:38):
someone who has such a different foundational belief? Is it
wrong for me to step back from a friendship due
to differences of opinion? I want to surround myself with
godly like minded people who can encourage and help me grow.
I'm excited to take to hear your approach on this
friendship and also the practice of manifestation itself. Nicole. Thank you.
Speaker 1 (39:05):
Marshall.
Speaker 2 (39:05):
We don't have like a ton of time on this,
and so we don't and I don't think it really
needs a lot of time. But one red flag, Nicole,
that you have recognized, and maybe you don't even realize it,
but your friend is starting a new business venture that's
focusing on this. Like that sid says something right there.
(39:26):
This is not like a faith thing or something that
she's really It doesn't sound like she's something she's really
finding comfort in and practicing. She's starting a business venture
and there's big business in this. Manifesting yourself, ridding yourself
of negative energy, embracing the power of yourself to heal yourself.
(39:49):
You know, like those are all just huge red flags
for a Christian and I feel like you know that.
And I don't really think you have to hear from
me and Marshall on why we think that is an
unhealthy thing, So we won't. I don't think we need
(40:09):
to go there. What we can do is talk about
the middle part of your question is saying you're talking
about the relationship with your friend, and you want to
be around people that are encouraging you and and helping
your belief and helping you grow. And to that, I say,
this is why the Bible will warn us, especially as
(40:32):
new believers or ones that are weaker in the faith,
to be careful when we are associating with these new ideas,
because when you hear basically, this is a myth right.
So when we hear these myths, we could drift off
into this nonsense and actually start believing it ourselves if
(40:56):
we're around it too much. That's a warning. If you're
newer or weaker in your faith. If that's not you, Nicole,
and you're like, no, you know, I feel strong in
my faith, then this is definitely an evangelistic opportunity for
you that you don't want to cut off necessarily you
don't want to say, hey, I don't believe in that stuff,
(41:18):
and because of that, I can't even talk to you.
I don't even want to be friends with you. That's
not a good thing. That's not a good message to
your friend. And it's really if she's dying in this,
which she is, and you're cutting off a lifeline to
her by saying, you know what, I just don't agree
(41:39):
with what you're saying, and I don't want it to
start affecting me. Well, discourage that. So these are the
two scenarios for her, and I don't know really which
one she is.
Speaker 1 (41:50):
Yeah, yeah, I just think when we have people who
are close to this in our lives to start chasing
a different a myth chasing, chasing a myth, chasing false teaching. Basically,
the guardrails we have is don't embrace it, don't ignore it,
(42:15):
but engage with with them.
Speaker 2 (42:18):
So don't cut them off.
Speaker 1 (42:20):
Yeah yeah, don't cut them off. Don't cut her off,
but you also don't interact with her in a way
where you're like, I just won't talk about religion. I
won't talk about faith, I won't talk about spirituality, I
won't I pretend like she has her way, I have
my way. You want to be able to have the
conversations with her where she knows you disagree, but you
(42:42):
can have loving and truthful conversations with her about why
you disagree, great, and why you're concerned for her soul.
Speaker 2 (42:50):
For this, you can ask her questions like, how do
you rid yourself of negative energy? Explain that to me.
It's a great conversation I started with someone like this.
Speaker 1 (43:00):
Yeah, But on the flip side too, I think it
also means you're putting in the effort outside of that
relationship to grow and you're understanding better of what you
believe so that you're not carried away, Yes, by this
other teaching. So this, this friendship now may require even
more effort than it did previously because outside of it,
(43:21):
you're trying to equip yourself and strengthen yourself to engage
with her in a meaningful, loving, but direct way when
it comes to this issue, because it isn't just could
ruin our friendship or I don't want to rock the boat,
but instead it's, uh, this is extremely dangerous for her
(43:42):
soul and for those she's influencing, And so you want
to you want to treat her in love with the truth,
and and and pray that the Lord would would help
her to see the truth and help you grow in
the truth.
Speaker 2 (43:55):
So that's all we got. I love you, guess see
you next Monday. Thanks for joining me on the Grangersmith Podcast.
I appreciate all of you guys. You could help me
out by rating this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube,
subscribe to this channel. Hit that little like button and
the notification spell so that you never miss anytime I
(44:16):
upload a video. If you have a question for me
that you would like me to answer, email Grangersmith Podcast
at gmail dot com. Yie
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