January 22, 2024 • 59 mins
In this podcast episode, my guest speaker Bernie, reflects on his successful business career, expresses a deep desire for a simpler life and genuine connections. The conversation takes a candid turn as Bernie contemplates sharing these insights with a younger individual, offering a unique perspective on navigating life's complexities.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Good night. I don't know where this came from. Sorry, Paul, Sorry.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
Man, oh Man, Kurt, I hope that I.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
Left you eight Okay, place to cut and good night.
I'm so sorry man.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
I'll be honest with you, Burns. I don't think we
have to cut. Welcome back to the podcast. Y'all. Interesting
podcast today, don't I don't think you know this, Bernie,
but it is January twenty second is the day this
(00:38):
comes out. And this is episode too twenty two. WHOA
a lot of two's going on in today's episode two
to two with two people on one two with two people. Yeah,
Bernie Calcut, one of my favorite guests, probably my original guest.
I don't know. You've been on more than anybody combined.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
And what we do here, man, we just answer your questions.
You email podcast at grangersmith dot com ask anything. And
I don't know. As we're recording this, after we finished,
we're going to go to lunch and so this literally
this podcast is like you go to lunch with us, Yeah,
and you say, hey, guys, did I run something by you?
Because that's what we're going to do at lunch today. Yeah,
(01:21):
no doubt right, So email podcast at grangersmith dot com.
We're going to get right to it. The first question
comes from Ethan. It says, hello, sir, my name is
Ethan from Michigan. I'm finishing up my last semester of
college and I'm getting a degree in welding engineering technology
and accept at a full time job as a welding
engineer for John Deere, my dream job since I was
(01:44):
thirteen years old. But I lost my dad unexpectedly in
April of twenty twenty from an aneurysm, leaving me my
mother and my three younger siblings, two boys and the
youngest a girl. As I prepare to move eight hours
of way way, I struggle with how much of the
father figure leadership role I'm supposed to take on and
(02:07):
whether or not I should be staying close to my family.
I love what you're doing and I look up to
you as a role model. Thanks for taking time to
read this. If you could send me the podcast number
if this is read, that would be awesome so that
I don't miss it. Thank you, Ethan. Yeah, episode two
too too. Okay, I think I think my man Ethan
(02:32):
emailed the right crew here. Yeah. Wow, that's we could
I could definitely feel this. I know Burns can actually Paul,
the guy that edits this, he lost his dad just
a few weeks ago. So this is the fraternity that
(02:53):
nobody wants to enter, but most of us eventually do
losing your dad and then, like Ethan, a lot of
us will go through this type idea. And whether or
not it's exactly like Ethan where you're you're wanting to
fill in a void with your parents or with your
(03:14):
mother and your siblings, it could also come in the
form of probably what you feel, and I feel, how
do I raise my kids without a grandpa and in
a way that I could kind of fill that void
that a grandpa would fill. And the answer is you can't.
(03:35):
But we still try to think, you know, like my
kids on my side, not Amber side, but my side,
my kids have never known a grandpa. My dad died
when London was two, And how often have I thought, ma'am,
dad would have made a good grandpa, Like Dad would
have taught them this about fishing. Our dad would have
(03:56):
been really good at throwing the ball in the yard.
And now I'm stuck in the grandpa mode and that's
a wrong thinking. Yeah, that's just naturally what we think. Sure,
when my dad died, Parker, my youngest brother was man,
he was like nineteen, I think he was nineteen or twenty,
(04:17):
and so that was a it was a different he
was in a different place than I was. He was
in college. He was like Ethan here right, he was
just like you. And that hits harder for that, for
that age group, for that, For what you're doing, Ethan,
I feel you, and Parker could feel you for sure.
Speaker 3 (04:37):
Yeah, you, being the oldest, probably have a different perspective
for Ethan than I would have. I was the youngest,
I was not as young as his sibling, you know,
his youngest sibling. But how did you net because I
think part of his question is, and Ethan, I'm so sorry, man,
(04:57):
this is a it's a tough thing to lose a day.
It's a tough thing then to carry the burden of
being a father figure. How how did you And I
know that you weren't trying to feel that for Tyler
or Parker, but how did you, as the oldest, you know,
(05:19):
lead them through the grieving process and just the leadership
of the family from you know, a man's point at
After that.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
I for sure felt that, and I feel what Ethan
Is is talking about here is you know, as I
lost my dad, I thought, man, I'm the oldest male
in this immediate family now, and and it's it's an
unnecessary burden that you'll put on yourself. It's just not
needed because you're you're not your dad, and you're not
going to fill the role for your mom of your
(05:51):
dad or for your siblings. You're you're not going to
fill that role. And so you really want to come
alongside your mom and encourage her and help her with
all the the new things that she has to deal
with as a widow. And this happened in twenty twenty,
so there's been some time to go by here too,
(06:14):
and so there is a level maybe could help me
with this, Bernie, but there is there is a time
for being there for your mom in her grief, and
then there's a time to say, okay, but I also
need to move forward with this job with John Deere.
That's what dad would want me to do, and it's
(06:36):
it would be probably unhealthy if I gave up everything
to be with mom and my siblings to fill a
spot that I can't even fill anyway.
Speaker 3 (06:46):
Sure, I think the communication with your mom is going
to be huge. Just understand, I mean it probably has
been at this point. This has been three years ago,
so Ethan, we'd love for you to write back in
maybe fill us in of where you are.
Speaker 1 (07:07):
And what's happened.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
And this is a new email.
Speaker 3 (07:10):
Oh okay, yeah, this but it happened in twenty twenty.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
Okay, he's just now preparing to move eight hours away. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (07:18):
I think it's probably time me too. I think you've
probably had communication with your mom. I feel like there's
because you more than being a father figure and filling
that role, you're a role model either way. Yeah, because
there's people out there probably listening who maybe they haven't
(07:40):
their father didn't pass away, but he's been absent and
they've had a sibling that's had to step in and
just be a role model. Maybe it's not a father figure,
but it's someone that can help by the way that
they live.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
Be an example.
Speaker 3 (07:56):
Hey, when you go to college and you work hard
and you study something, and then you have this opportunity,
you pray about it, and if the door continues to open,
even though you have to leave some things behind that
you love, you go for it.
Speaker 1 (08:11):
You go I think that that could be.
Speaker 3 (08:15):
Obviously he doesn't mention a lot about his dad's character,
but that could have been who his dad want, like
you said, wanted him to be and wanted you're going to,
you know, show that example to your siblings. If your
mom is in a good place. There's just a lot
of questions I'd have for Ethan. But if the question
(08:35):
is do I go pursue this this work that even
though it takes me a little bit away, I think
you do.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
I think you do that.
Speaker 3 (08:44):
I think you stay in communication and everything can be
for season, you know, if you if you take it
and you move and you're like, man, there's there's things
happening that I feel like my family needs me. Think
you're not committing, You're not committing your life to live there.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
So yeah, that's really good because Ethan, you could be
giving your mom a huge gift by taking yourself out
of the situation as at an appropriate time. Four years
is an appropriate time, So you remove yourself from maybe
you're a crutch to her, you know, like maybe you're
you're providing something that she's leaning on that's inhibiting her
(09:24):
from moving forward and continuing on with her life. Her
next phase of her life. Maybe you're doing the same
thing for your siblings. So what you think you're adding
to the family, maybe you're actually hurting with possibly. And
then the flip side of that is, if you don't
take this job at John Deere, you will think about
(09:45):
it for the rest of your life. Yeah, you've been
dreaming about it since you were thirteen.
Speaker 3 (09:50):
You're going to wonder what if the fact ethan that
you're writing in this question and this is weighing on
your heart whether I should go. I really care about
my family. It tells me for the last three years
you've probably been doing everything that you needed to do boom,
and it's probably time to give everybody some space and
(10:12):
be the example that your dad would probably want you
to be.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
Man Love it yep. Next question comes from Sam says, Hey, Granger,
I'm currently enrolled in a seminary and an elder in
my church. When writing sermons, it seems like a lot
of pastors just reuse information, example, quoting a book that's
not the Bible and using other people's information. Any advice
on how to start thinking on my own, almost so
(10:38):
I could give fresh looks into the Word of God.
I hope this makes sense. Appreciate you, Sam, okay man.
I was not expecting this kind of question.
Speaker 3 (10:48):
I don't write any sermons, so I'm gonna let you
say this one.
Speaker 2 (10:51):
Yeah, yeah, Sam. It's really critical though, that we do
talk through this. It's a good question, and I'm so
glad you ask them. So God burns here is here
because it's really critical because you don't need to give
fresh looks into the living Word of God. You don't.
(11:12):
That is that is the cultural pulling in you. That
is what society tells you you should do. That's what
you see on Instagram. But you don't need to. In fact,
it's dangerous if you do, if you try to give
a fresh look into you. This is your words. By
the way, how could I give a fresh look into
(11:32):
the living Word of God? If it's a living word
of God, it doesn't need a fresh look. It is
the truth already. And so so what do I do
with this information? Well, as you start teaching or preaching,
I guess that's what you're asking here. You preach expositionally,
(11:56):
meaning you work through the Bible itself and your trust
that the Word is going to not come back void,
so you'll you'll decide, well, okay, let me put it.
Let me put it in my shoes. For example, because
I'm not a pastor. If you were a pastor, you'd
work through. You'd stay like, Hey, we're going to work
through the Book of Luke, and it's going to take
(12:18):
us thirty weeks, thirty sundays, and we're going to work
through Luke. And I do what I do when I
go out and preach on a Sunday, like at a church,
not not a conference. That's a little different. But when
I go on a Sunday to a church, I'm gonna
I'm going to use a text and I'm gonna exegete
that text. Bernie and I've been doing this for a
(12:39):
long time. Is Bernie will be like, hey, I want
you to meditate on James one or something. But I'll
look at a text, read the text, talk about the text,
the historical context of the text to the to the crowd,
and then walk through it line by line, giving the
giving in the congregation the hears what the context that
(13:05):
the author intended it to be. So you're looking you're
looking at the world, at your congregation through the lens
of the text, as opposed to what you're saying, Look
at the text with the lens of the world, the
fresh look of the world into the text. Don't do that.
(13:27):
That's where you're That's where it becomes dangerous. Instead, look
through the text at the world. So you're going to
read the text in the context of the way it
was supposed to be read and heard. Explain what the
author's intent was in the text. And then after you
do that, then you could start applying it to the
(13:50):
modern hearer. After you've exegeted the text, then you apply
it to the modern congregation. The fresh we'll use it there.
The freshness comes after the text, not before that. Not
only is that important to hear for you, but man,
(14:13):
it's so relieving. Like you don't have to write a
new tech talk every week. You don't have to come
up with the fresh new series on relationships or on
heartache or loss, or finances or prayer. You don't have
to think of a new series. You just go our
(14:33):
series and it could be one of those aspects I
just said as the application in the text in the
Book of Luke that you're working through.
Speaker 1 (14:41):
Man, it just.
Speaker 2 (14:42):
Clears your plate. It makes life so much easier for you.
And what I believe you're more faithful to the Bible.
When you do that, you're just walking through You're walking
through Hebrews, you're walking through Luke, you're walking through First Samuel.
You could decide that with the other elders and something
neat that you might be able to do is go
Old Testament and then the next series is the New
(15:04):
Testament book, and then you go back to the Old
Testament book, but you're working through the text and the
way the author wanted you to hear it, and you're
presenting that to the crowd and then applying it to
their life in a fresh way that after right, I
hope that makes sense, brother, But I'm encouraged. I'm encourage
that you're even emailing and asking what I think is
(15:25):
a really good and important question. Podcast is brought to
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(15:47):
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Speaker 1 (16:04):
Won't?
Speaker 2 (16:04):
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(16:50):
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(17:32):
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granger now to grow your business no matter what stage
you're in Shopify dot com slash granger. You know, if
you want to get a hold of me or get
a video message from me right to your phone, sent
(17:54):
from me, and you could have me send it to
anybody you want. Maybe it's a gift, maybe it's just
a word of encouragement, maybe it's a surprise to someone else.
I could do that right here on my phone and
send you that video message according to what you want
me to say. Go to Cameo dot com slash granger
Smith and find me. Next question comes from Anonymous, says
(18:20):
I'm sixteen. I'm from Texas. Really love your book and
your podcast. Your story is incredible. Recently found out that
the one person I trusted and loved the most lied
about something for a year. I had to find out
from someone else. I've been asked if I'll ever be
able to forgive. I've prayed about it, and I'm trying
(18:41):
to forgive because I know it's the right thing to do,
but I don't know exactly how. This hurts me a lot,
and I won't be able to forget this pain. What
does it mean to forgive? How can I forgive? I'm
smiling because this is the most like anonymous no information
(19:01):
kind of email. Yeah, that you could possibly write.
Speaker 3 (19:05):
But from somebody that's sixteen. I guarantee I wasn't asking nobody.
Now do I forgive? What does it mean to forgive?
Speaker 1 (19:11):
At sixteen? So who to you? Anonymous?
Speaker 3 (19:14):
Like?
Speaker 2 (19:14):
That's amazing.
Speaker 3 (19:17):
I think your thoughts that you could share that have
been really helpful' listen to you in the past from
you about the difference between trust and forgiveness.
Speaker 2 (19:25):
Yeah, yeah, when you're sixteen, this is hard, man, I
mean it's hard when you're our age. And let me say,
let me reread what you said. You said, I found
out that the one person I trusted and loved the
(19:46):
most lied. Okay, So you might be thinking, to Bernie's point,
you might be thinking, I can't forgive them because they
broke my trust. And I want to encourage you that
the trust and forgiveness aren't the same thing, and they
don't have to exist together at all, And same with agreement.
(20:06):
You could forgive someone and not agree with them. You
could forgive someone and not trust them. So maybe just
separating those ideas first of all would be helpful for you.
And remember this also, forgiveness doesn't require a certain response
from them, It doesn't require reconciliation of the problem itself.
(20:26):
This is a heart posture that we take to forgive.
So to say, whatever this person did, and it's bad
because you had to email this podcast, that's how bad
it is. To forgive is your heart posture. Now here's
the problem. This is the problem with forgiveness. It is
a heart posture towards that other person. But our heart
(20:49):
is stubborn and doesn't want to do it, and so
we start with our mind. And what I'm telling you
here is just things that I've tried to collect my
thoughts about, because it's not like there is no facts
about this, So don't think that I'm telling you facts here.
I'm just telling you the way I've collected this idea.
(21:10):
We take our mind and we we make a decision,
similar to love. We make a decision I will forgive
this person, and then our hearts kicks and screams as
our mind is dragging it along the dirt road.
Speaker 1 (21:27):
I don't want to forgive, no way.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
They lied to me, and your mind says you don't
have to trust them, and they go, but I don't.
Speaker 1 (21:34):
I don't like them.
Speaker 2 (21:36):
You don't have to agree with them, but you will
forgive them. That's what we're doing. We're gonna forgive. And
then I have found that when you take captive your thoughts,
like the Bible says, your your heart will catch up
and your heart will eventually set aflame the idea why
(21:56):
because forgiveness is biblical. We're told to forgive. Why not
so that it causes us pain or friction, because eventually
we rest in that and we go, oh yeah, man,
that person lied to me and I don't trust them.
But it's Okay, forget I forgive them what they did.
There's consequences to what they did. I'm not gonna follow
(22:17):
this path anymore, but I forgive them, and there's healing
in that for us.
Speaker 3 (22:23):
Yeah, I've like you probably have had people who have
done what has happened to Anonymous, have really just hurt
me in some way, broken my trust, you know, incredibly.
Speaker 1 (22:39):
And what I found with forgiveness.
Speaker 3 (22:42):
Like love, is it is not something you do once,
because I will if I'm honest, I'll find my heart
in a posture sometimes of like, man, I think I've
talked about this before, like grace being the front door
to the house of gratitude, and like.
Speaker 1 (23:03):
I will get to that place.
Speaker 3 (23:07):
But then like a week later, if I'm honest, my
heart is like I don't want to forgive them. It
comes back again because I'll go back into that pain.
I'll feel that again, and I have to, like you said,
make that decision and I'll go back to the word
that is living in me and saying no, I forgive them.
Speaker 1 (23:27):
I'm letting that go. I'm not holding on to that.
Speaker 3 (23:31):
And so just an encouragement, like if you get to
a place in your heart where you feel like I
can forgive them, and then the next week you're like,
I don't want to forgive them. It's natural, but it
is like a decision and a heart posture that you
may have to just continually work through.
Speaker 2 (23:48):
Yeah. You know, as you're talking, I was thinking that
sometimes people will email me or DM me or something
and they'll get mad at me at a question like
this for not preaching the gospel. You know. It's like, well,
you can't really forgive until you know that you've been forgiven.
And I'll get that. I'll get that.
Speaker 3 (24:08):
People people will email you mad that you didn't like
that's yeah, guys, would y'all chill out on gradiar a
little bit? Man, Like?
Speaker 2 (24:17):
That's just life. That's life.
Speaker 1 (24:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:19):
So so let me throw that critique to you and say,
Anonymous says nothing about God or anything. Can can anonymous
be a non believer and wholeheartedly forgive or does it? Should?
It require a deeper understanding. I'll just throw that at you.
(24:41):
There's no, I don't that's a difficult one. I don't
think so.
Speaker 3 (24:44):
I think you've used a term before, and I'm not
sure what it is, but it's like I know from
experience people who have been hurt and they genuinely and
I've been in close relationship with these people, they have
forgiven and you you see them live with a sense
of you know, contentment and forgiveness.
Speaker 1 (25:05):
And that's real life. I know that. You know, super
churchy people would love to be.
Speaker 3 (25:09):
Like, well, you gotta know Jesus to really.
Speaker 2 (25:11):
You can't know love, you can't know forgiveness, you can't
know peace, you can't know joy, you can't no hope.
I get it, I get it. But yeah, but we're
also images image bearers of God, all of us. Whether
we reject God or love God, we are image bearers
of Him and we carry these attributes in us in
(25:32):
this life here on earth right now.
Speaker 3 (25:34):
Yeah. So to your question though, to have to be
able to do that, I think so to have a
deeper understanding of what forgiveness is a picture of and
an ultimate picture of. Of course they're not, you know,
they wouldn't understand that because they don't believe it. That's
not their faith claim.
Speaker 2 (25:56):
Yeah, that's good. That's a good I like it to.
All the hate is up there. Next question comes from
Kurt says, Hey, Granger, a friend recommended your podcast to
me a couple months ago, and I've enjoyed listening to
it ever since. Thank you for all you do. I'm
twenty two years old and I'm currently finishing up my MBA. Wow.
(26:17):
I have two potential job offers for after school. One
position is a good paying management position at a reputable company,
but the other position is a loose a youth ministry
position at a church. I'm struggling with the decision because
i want to glorify God in my work and make
an impact on the world around me, but I don't
know what that would look like in the business world.
(26:39):
I believe God will use me no matter what path
I take, but I'm currently trying to figure out which
way to go. I have tried to pursue godly counsel
and guidance, but I still feel like I'm wrestling with
the decision. Any advice or wisdom would be greatly appreciated.
It says just a country boy from Michigan, Kurt. Okay,
heavy one here, not a heavy one. It's it's worth
(27:03):
discussing here. I'll say it that way. First of all, Kurt,
I'm just gonna say outside looking in you, you, me
and Bernie were riding together and you drop this honest
and say, we've known you for a little bit and
we know that you've been finishing up this NBA, we
know that you have a good paying management position at
(27:25):
a good company on the line here, and we're gonna
probably say here you go to youth ministry, Like I
want to dig at you like that. I want to say,
are you sure? Because the thing is, if you're truly
called to this position at church, you're gonna go. Yeah,
I'm truly sure. I am afraid about it. I can't
(27:48):
sleep at night. I really want to do it. I
want to be at this youth ministry position and me
and Bernie then are gonna go cool. But if you're
going which do I choose, then we're gonna go hang
on a second. Man, You've committed all this time to
this degree. And I think so many people need to
(28:12):
pump the brakes about ministry positions until they have really
honed in on their own heart posture to God, because
there is a there's a danger of this romantic idea
of ministry, right, Like, maybe that's the way I glorify
(28:35):
God better in ministry than I do in this good
company position. That's a lie right off the bat. The
Bible says, not everyone is called the ministry. Not all
of you should be teachers, right Like, we need people
in all positions. So you're gonna glorify God in any
(28:58):
position if you're glorifying God. Okay, what you got burns, oh, Man,
I know you got good influences.
Speaker 3 (29:07):
What was his name, Kurt, Kurt, Yeah, Kurt, I think
there is. What Granger said, there's a huge there's a
there's a misconception that the church is the church and
if you're holy, you work in the church and you're
in ministry.
Speaker 1 (29:25):
But the Bible talks about.
Speaker 3 (29:29):
Pastors equipping the saints for the purpose of ministry. That's
the point of the church, guys. It's not so that
you can go and be fulfilling your you know, godly duty. No,
if you do that, you are supposed to be a
small minority of people that are there to equip the
(29:50):
rest of us to go into the marketplace and glorify
God through whatever sphere of influence that we are in.
So that's the first kind of like correction in the
thought process. Then the second is man and I don't know,
maybe I'm just getting old and I've been in business,
(30:11):
successful businesses and connected with a lot of people and
money and whatever, and man, I just I'm getting to
the point where I just want to live. Oh my gosh, Granger,
this has never happened on the podcast.
Speaker 1 (30:25):
Man, I'm sorry.
Speaker 3 (30:29):
I just so badly want to live a simple life.
I just want to be instead of with all these
people in these business decisions. I just want to be
with him. I just want to know him, you know,
(30:52):
And guys and Kurt, there's so many distractions.
Speaker 1 (30:57):
In this life.
Speaker 3 (30:58):
So just take Heed and the call that. Man, if
you go that route, if you even go to the
ministry route, there's gonna be so many temptations for you
just to be distracted with the work instead of the
purpose behind it and the relationship and he hearing his
voice and knowing him.
Speaker 1 (31:17):
What did Jesus do more than anything?
Speaker 3 (31:21):
He retreated to solitude to pray with all the crowds
that were trying to build his platform, and we would
be like, oh, yeah, that's the promotion, that's the job,
that's the dream job you're thinking of, and Jesus ran
away from that. When did we get this backwards? And
(31:44):
I've gotten it backwards for a long time, and now
I'm just at a place where I'm like, man, God,
what do you want me to do with this?
Speaker 1 (31:56):
Give it away?
Speaker 2 (32:00):
Well?
Speaker 1 (32:02):
Be faithful? What and And I've just learned.
Speaker 3 (32:05):
That probably the answer to your question is just to
retreat and pray and listen.
Speaker 1 (32:15):
Can we pause?
Speaker 3 (32:16):
Man? Good night?
Speaker 1 (32:37):
I don't know where this came from. Sorry, Paul, Sorry.
Speaker 3 (32:40):
Man, I hope that I left you a okay place
to cut.
Speaker 1 (32:46):
And good night. I'm so sorry. Grazier.
Speaker 2 (32:49):
I'll be honest with you, Burns. I don't think we
have to cut because it's real, it's raw, and I mean,
we'll cut the podcast if you think you want to
cut this podcast. But I think I think it makes
it more authentic to Kurt if he hears it from you,
because here he is half your age and he's going,
(33:14):
what do I do? Here's a guy that goes, I'll
tell you what to do, tell you what I would do,
tell you what I'm doing now. Yeah, Kurt, I remember
(33:34):
being twenty two. And don't don't take anything that anything
is going on, the emotion's going on here at the
table right now. Don't take this as a how stupid
are you? That's that's not what this is, Kurt. I
think you're just You're talking to two men here, both
(33:56):
of us that have that have achieved a lot in
the business world. And this is not this is not
a message for you to avoid the business world and
going to ministry. And that's that's the last thing I
would tell you. But I would say this, and I
think this is what Bernie was saying at the beginning.
(34:19):
You're in ministry as a believer, whether you have that
title on your email or not. That's what's forgotten, is
that we are all called the ministry. We are all
called to obedience to our Lord. We are all called
(34:39):
to spread the word of the good News. You are
an ambassador to the Christ, the Messiah, the Lord of lords,
the King of kings, the one with all authority. He
has been given all authority. You are an ambassador to him.
(35:02):
There is no greater call than that. You don't have
to be at a church to do it. You have
to be I would hope that you're attending a church.
That's not what I'm saying. But you don't have to
be staffed at a church. You can. You need to
go into your management positions all over the world and
(35:24):
support the greater mission the capital see church from all places.
There are no specific missions that go out worldwide without
extensive support from people in secular industries. It just doesn't
happen any other way. So I love you, Burns Man.
(35:51):
That was I think that's the best thing that could
have happened out of that question.
Speaker 3 (35:57):
Well, yeah, you guys have now seen me.
Speaker 1 (36:02):
Every kind of laughter and tear.
Speaker 3 (36:04):
But I yeah, I just know this last holiday season,
our family was totally under committed and in a world
that is wanting more and better and bigger, and we
were just under committed, and we were slow and we
(36:26):
were quiet. And guys, I have just heard God's voice
clearer in that time than ever in my life. And
so if you want to know what to do, if
you want to know where to go, just find the quiet.
I promise. This world is so loud and it's telling
you a lot of lies. But if you find that,
I promise that you're going to see that path clearer
(36:50):
than you ever will. That's good.
Speaker 2 (36:56):
All right, A couple more questions here. This next one
comes from Mac and it says, I don't know how
to put this, but I'll try my best. Right now,
I'm fifteen years old, about to be sixteen in May.
I've been struggling with poorn since I was eleven and
masturbation since I was thirteen. My parents also got divorced
(37:18):
when I was eight, and my mother, age forty two,
just died a little over a year ago when I
was fourteen. I have had suicidal thoughts, but I'm currently
seeing a therapist for it. I have been dealing with
many more problems since a young age, but I've been
trying to follow Christ just a few years now. My
(37:39):
point is this, how do I follow Christ or get closer?
After everything that has happened, I keep asking myself, why
would eleven God allow this in my life? Got from mac.
Speaker 1 (37:54):
Man Mac.
Speaker 3 (37:56):
I'm so sorry, boy, that's really heavy.
Speaker 1 (37:59):
You have you have been through.
Speaker 3 (38:03):
Very traumatic, what seemed to be traumatic things in your life.
Speaker 1 (38:08):
Where do you want to start?
Speaker 3 (38:09):
Griz because there's uh, there's a few different things that
he's said and that he's asking.
Speaker 2 (38:15):
Yeah, I think I think that I could probably go
this is episode two twenty two, and I could probably
go every episode from now on and talk about addiction
to porn and the questions I get about it.
Speaker 1 (38:31):
Yeah, So what that?
Speaker 2 (38:33):
What does that mean. Well, first, the first thing it
means for Mac is you're not alone. You're not alone
in this although with that kind of addiction, it's a
private addiction. It's behind closed doors. And because of that,
and no one talks about it. None of your friends say, Man,
(38:55):
I'm addicted to porn and masturbation. No, your friends don't
say that.
Speaker 1 (39:00):
Real side note, real quick.
Speaker 3 (39:01):
Isn't it interesting how in the Bible it says that
we need to confess our sins to one another, and
we need to do our good works in secret.
Speaker 1 (39:13):
The opposite, but yet we do the opposite.
Speaker 3 (39:15):
We put all the good works on Instagram and we
don't tell anybody about any of our sin.
Speaker 1 (39:20):
So just a side note, we may have something backwards.
Speaker 2 (39:24):
Yeah, that seems to be a theme on this podcast,
backwards things. So that's the first point I want to make, Mac,
is that you're not alone, although with this kind of deception,
this kind of sin, it feels like you are. And
then divorce. There we go. There's the second thing. You're
not alone on divorce. In fact, statistics say well over
(39:47):
fifty percent of everyone in the world is divorced, comes
from a divorce family. And then your mother age forty
two died over a year ago. When you're fourteen. That
is a smaller group, but that is still a group
that I would say you're not alone in. Knowing that
(40:10):
you're not alone doesn't make any of this easier. It
just perhaps makes it more understandable that you are not unique, right,
because uniqueness sounds like you're alone on an island and
this problem that's never been had and can never be solved,
and no one's ever thought about it. So that when
I say you're not alone, I'm not saying easy, it's easy,
(40:32):
you're not alone. I'm saying, look, you're not alone. That
means a lot of people have done a lot of
thought about this. That's good. It's kind of like when
you get let me think it's something really easy, you
have a problem in your car and then YouTube it
and you find out there's like a thousand people telling
(40:53):
you how to fix it on YouTube. They're like, Okay, cool,
I thought this was a freak deal that happened in
my car. But there's actually a lot of people explaining this.
So there we go. And then the last the last
thing here suicidal thoughts once again, not alone. That statistic
(41:13):
is really high. Really high. It's probably a lot higher
excuse me, a lot higher than any statistic actually shows,
because people don't like to talk about it. You're seeing
a therapist and then you're trying to follow Christ. You've
been doing that for a few years. Your question is
(41:35):
how do you follow Christ and get closer? After that
has happened, we'll deal with that question, and then we'll
deal with your last question, why would a loving God
allow this in my life? Great questions, Mac, and we're
going to walk through it like we're sitting around a campfire.
That's what we do on this podcast. No notes, no quotes.
(41:59):
We don't have a C. S. Lewis book sitting right
here that has like the perfect quips or the perfect answers.
So we've established you're not alone. We've established these are
these are problems that a lot of people struggle with
and probably don't even talk about. And then we're going
to talk about how to follow Christ and how a
(42:20):
loving God would allow this in your life. We'll start
with the first one, Burns, how does he get how
would how would one not even Mac? How would one
hypothetically get closer to Christ?
Speaker 1 (42:36):
Oh Man? All right, what's his name again?
Speaker 2 (42:43):
Mac, it may see what.
Speaker 1 (42:45):
Was the dude that made me cry earlier?
Speaker 3 (42:47):
Kurt Kurt, Okay, Mac, I'm really hoping you ain't gone
to a to me brother. But we talked about this
off air a little while ago, like whenever somebody passes
away there or maybe it was one of the questions earlier,
like there's this connection that we try to make.
Speaker 1 (43:07):
Maybe we didn't even know.
Speaker 3 (43:09):
Them, you know, like the grandfather, but we know that
the grandfather liked to work on cars. And every time
that I go and I work on cars, I feel
this like connection. Maybe I never knew him, but I've
heard so much about him, or maybe I knew him
and this is what we did together. And so now
that he's gone, I love to go work on cars
because man, I feel this connection. I feel like I
(43:29):
still know him, Like he's there.
Speaker 1 (43:32):
You know what Jesus did.
Speaker 3 (43:34):
He suffered, and the word tells us that we can know.
Speaker 1 (43:39):
Him in his suffering.
Speaker 3 (43:42):
We can share in his suffering. And I feel like
if you want to know him, if you want to
know Christ, then intentionally you can find and maybe you
are in this, Mac, like you can pray in your suffering,
like Jesus is there with you. There is I think
(44:03):
there is a means for you through that, not to
move it away, And like I just got to focus
on Jesus and I got to talk to the church.
It's like no, like in that suffering, in those moments
of agony and pain and hurt, it's like Jesus is there.
He bore that too. And I feel like there is
(44:27):
a way if you have that intention and you have
that mindset that you can draw I think that was closer.
How do you draw closer to him?
Speaker 1 (44:37):
How do we know.
Speaker 2 (44:37):
Him after everything that happened? Yeah, but you're building an
argument that it's actually easier to get closer to him
after that stuff happens.
Speaker 1 (44:46):
Yes, yes, one hundred percent.
Speaker 2 (44:48):
Because when things are going good in your life and
everything's great, you don't think about God. You think about
yourself and how good things are. And so when when
the Lord removes things from him, when he tightens his
grip a little bit, when he lessens our oxygen intake
a little bit, and we start gasping for air, we
go God, where are you?
Speaker 1 (45:10):
Where are you?
Speaker 2 (45:11):
And in those moments we might say things like how
do I get closer to you? And He's going I'm
doing it.
Speaker 3 (45:18):
Yeah, he said, you actually six months ago you pray
that you wanted to know me more. I'm answering your prayer. Yeah,
this is this is quite literally how it happens. Yeah,
it's through suffering, and I know nobody likes that. And
the other thing that I've thought of recently is we
have these things that are probably outside of your control,
(45:38):
your mom passing away.
Speaker 2 (45:40):
This.
Speaker 1 (45:40):
I lost my mom at.
Speaker 3 (45:41):
A young age too, and so I do understand that,
and that was I didn't have any control over that.
But that was a suffering and a pain that I
had to go through. But Jesus knew he intentionally came
to suffer ahead of time. So I think even in
j for everybody out there listening, I feel like and
(46:03):
for me, I'm almost trying to find ways, Like you've
questioned me before or people have about like why do
you do cold showers, why do you do ultra running?
Why do you do these crazy things? And it just
like recently through Philippians three ten, I was like, that's
the connection. I get to know Jesus. I get to
know him in his suffering. And so I'm gonna go
(46:26):
into that. That's a song that it's one hundred and
eighty degrees. Then that cold plungees forty and I'm just
gonna sit in and I'm gonna be like, oh, I
know it's not the Cross. I know it is not,
but just a little bit a taste of it, a
little bit more closer to you. I want to know
you in this. And so I know it's counterculture, it's backwards,
(46:47):
but I do believe that we we know other people
through suffering with them, and I believe that we can
know him and draw closer to him through the suffering
that magnet be going through right now.
Speaker 2 (47:01):
So in snow skiing, there's the bunny run, the Greens,
the Blues, the black diamonds, and the double blacks. I
think you're I think you're on like a black double
black diamond right now with with your walk in Christianity.
And I think Max, like we need to take him
to the bunny slope. He might be thinking, I don't
(47:26):
even know who Jesus is. Yeah, you're right, you know
what I mean? If he's Yeah, Mac, let me back up.
Speaker 3 (47:31):
If you're having suicidal thoughts, he said, he's in therapy. Yeah,
there there there's a different mental state that a stable
state that we need to encourage you to get to
before you start.
Speaker 1 (47:47):
Thinking about all this nonsense. I was saying.
Speaker 2 (47:49):
Yeah, so yeah, don't get on the double black Diamond
until you learn how to snow ski. Let's get you
on the bunny slope. Okay, what Bernie's saying is all truth,
and I love it. And he's in a really a
really diverse of spiritual mountain right now, which is really
cool to see. But if we're gonna get you on
the bunny slope, and we'll first say what Bernie said,
(48:11):
and that's a good reminder that if you are having
suicidal thoughts, please seek medical attention. Okay, this, this podcast
is not the end all be all. You need to
seek medical attention and get help in that way. Okay,
so boom, let's establish that. Second, let's get on the
bunny slope with Jesus, which eventually will trump everything that,
(48:35):
all the therapy and all the medical help. He will
trump all of that. But you need to get to
know him. You need to know who he is. When
you know who he is, you no longer say things
like why would a loving God allow this in my life?
I don't think you know this loving God, And in fact,
(48:57):
I know that you don't. And I don't say that
to insult you. I just I know from your email
that you don't, and I want you to desperately, I
really want you to, Mac And this is going to
start with a couple of ways. It's going to start
with knowing Him, knowing the Gospel, reading His word, going
(49:19):
to church. And I'm not trying to stack up a
to do list for you, a grocery list. That's not
what I'm trying to do. But there are a lot
of ways to attack this, and I think it probably
with this conversation starts with the Gospel. So let me
let me tell you the gospel, because the Bible says
that those who hear it there is transformational power in it.
(49:41):
The power of God lives in this message. It appeals
to your conscience in a way that your your social
mind tries to reject it. This appeals to your conscience
in a way that we cannot understand because we were
created by a God. With this story. Okay, so the
gospel starts with God, all knowing, all powerful, all loving.
(50:09):
This God creates. I mean that idea alone, like just
stop there and just think about it. For a second, God,
who needs nothing, who exists in eternal past. He was
not created, he does not have a beginning, and he
decides out of his love he's going to create. So
(50:30):
he creates man in his own image. He creates everything,
but we're the only thing of all the things in
his image. And early on we reject him. We inherit
that sin from all of our ancestors, the sin of
rejection to God. We rebel against him, and that manifests
(50:51):
itself in all kinds of ways. We are sinners. Now.
We feel sorry for ourselves, and we'd like to change
that name to like scars and and you know, like
problems that happened to us, you know, like wounds, wounds
and scars. We like to say, but the truth is
it's a sin. It's a rejection of God himself, and
(51:15):
in that we have separated ourselves from God. Isaiah fifty
nine to two says, your iniquities have separated you from
your God, and your sins have hidden his face from
you so that he does not hear. So he has
separated from you because of your sin. That's what your
(51:36):
sin has done. And the reason I say it that
way is because we like to think of our sin
as like, please, God, I got this sin. Will you
come heal me and make it better for me. God
knows that he sins Jesus who says, I didn't come
just to make it better for you. I came to
reconcile your relationship with God because you can't do it.
(51:56):
I come to bring you, to tear down that separation
and bring you to God. That's why Jesus came to
reconcile sinners, to bring them to God, sinners that cannot
do it on our own, because we're imperfect beings. So
God sinds his son, which we call this is a
big word, the incarnation. He comes to earth, lives the
(52:19):
perfect life in a way that we couldn't. And what
do we do. We kill him. We send him to
the cross. He dies on the cross as a replacement
for our sins. He kills sin on the cross. He
takes it upon himself on his body. He takes our
sins on his body and bears it himself on the cross.
(52:41):
And then three days later he's resurrected from the dead.
And he says, anyone who looks to me, anyone who
looks upon me, who believes in me, turns from themselves?
Who turns from their poor, pitiful selves? That's always worried
about how am I going to overcome poor? How am
I going to overcome masturbation? How am I going to
overcome I'm the loss of my family. Oh I'm so
(53:02):
I just want to be I want me, me, me,
He says. You turn from that, turn to me, Believe
in me, and I will restore you. I will redeem you,
I will heal you. I will adopt you as a
son to the Kingdom of God. That's what Jesus came
to do. So my invitation to you right now, Mac,
(53:23):
is that you hear those words and you respond to
them in a way because those words do not call indifference.
It's like this. It's like me saying, hey, Mac, you
have a heart disease, that it will kill you, you
will die. You need a heart transplant. I'm a doctor
telling you you need a heart transplant. That kind of
(53:44):
news demands a response. You cannot be indifferent to that, Riachon.
You can't go, well, I don't know, I don't know, doc,
It's yes or no, right, And so that the gospel
does the same thing. You have a disease that will
kill you. Here's the cure. Jesus is the cure. He
reconciles you to God. So my challenge to you, because
(54:06):
you asked the question, how do I fall across and
get closer? You asked the question, My challenges you to you.
It's tonight, Mac you get down on your knees alone
in a quiet place. You got it. I know I
don't pray very often. In fact, I don't really even
know how. But I listened to this podcast and I
heard granger and burning. They were getting really emotional, and
(54:29):
they were telling me about what Jesus did on the
cross and telling me that I don't have to be
a good person to get to you. I just need
to put all my trust in you that you did
the work for me. And then after that, I'm gonna
feel this peace. I'm gonna feel this. I'm gonna feel this,
this love from your grace that goes and kills this masturbation,
(54:52):
that kills this weird guilt that I have in my
life that wants to take my life, my own life away.
That's what I heard. And God, I want to believe that.
I want that open my heart so that I believe it.
Open my eyes to this word.
Speaker 1 (55:09):
Do this? What do I do?
Speaker 2 (55:11):
God? I want to follow you. I want to know
why a loving God would allow this stuff in my life?
Are you a loving God? I believe that you are.
This is the kind of prayer I want him to
have tonight as he hears this podcast. That's my challenge
to you, Mac, And you can go one of two ways.
You could do it, or you can go I don't know.
(55:32):
I don't know about it. I don't know about all stuff,
but I'm gonna tell you cannot be indifferent to a
doctor telling you you need a heart transplant? Why would
a loving God? Last question, why would a loving God
allow this in Max's life? Do you have an answer
for that? Burns oh Man, I mean you kind of
(55:55):
said it earlier.
Speaker 3 (56:00):
Yeah, I I'm trying to think of where Max coming
from with that question. Those two questions.
Speaker 2 (56:11):
Back to back, it's a struggle.
Speaker 3 (56:16):
It's almost like, if he takes your advice, I'm happy
to answer, you can answer, But I feel like if
you take Granger's advice on the first one, you'll probably
find the answer to the second one.
Speaker 2 (56:28):
That's good. Yeah, yeah, you worry about that kind of
stuff less when you understand the first part. Yeah, because
because what Burns is saying is when you stand on truth,
when you know the truth. As God has revealed himself
in the Bible, we know that he is good. We
(56:50):
know that he is all powerful, all purposing. We know
that He also mourns with those who mourn, weeps with
those who weep. We know that he hates. Listen to this,
A lot of people go, God doesn't hate, yes, mac
God hates this sin. He hates this idea of you
(57:11):
and your suicidal thoughts. He hates that you hurt. You're
made in his image. He hates that you hurt. He
hates this porn addiction, he hates this masturbation addiction. And
he offers you truth, and he offers you love, and
he says that he's good. He self reveals himself is good,
(57:35):
and so we trust God. You're good, You're holy, You're
different than me. I can't understand your ways. So the
fact that I can't understand where I am in my
life right now, I can understand that you are good,
and you work things to the counsel of your own
will for the purpose of your own good, which is
ultimately the purpose of all of our good because if
(57:56):
it's good for God, it eventually is good for us. Look,
that's not that difficult. That might sound crazy, it's not
that difficult to understand when you look at it in
terms of a child. We are children compared to him.
We know nothing. It's like I've said this before, me
taking my kids to a man that straps them to
the chair and performs painful things on them. Later to
(58:21):
find out I was just taking them to the dentist,
and they think I'm evil and horrible to do this
to them. In fact, pay someone to do that. It's
a dentist.
Speaker 3 (58:31):
Who would put their kid through that.
Speaker 1 (58:33):
Yeah, it's the same.
Speaker 2 (58:35):
It's the same. We could go on and on. We've
got a little extra on this podcast, if not even
gonna get to the last question, because this has been
something man, this is.
Speaker 1 (58:47):
Too too emotionally. Is that the words you're looking for?
Speaker 2 (58:53):
Man?
Speaker 3 (58:54):
I appreciate you guys out there bearing with me, y'all.
Speaker 2 (58:56):
Before we started burning, I prayed, We prayed for the
words of this podcast, and I still I still don't
know as I look back on what we've said, I
don't know what we said that is helpful or if
we said it the right way. But I just trust
that God takes this and his word does not return voids.
So we love y'all. Thanks for hitting us hard with
(59:20):
some really good questions and we'll see you next moment.
Thanks for joining me on the Grangersmith podcast. I appreciate
all of you guys. You could help me out by
rating this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube, subscribe
to this channel, hit that little like button and notification
spell so that you never miss anytime I upload a video.
(59:40):
Yihi
Good night. I don't know where this came from. Sorry, Paul, Sorry.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
Man, oh Man, Kurt, I hope that I.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
Left you eight Okay, place to cut and good night.
I'm so sorry man.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
I'll be honest with you, Burns. I don't think we
have to cut. Welcome back to the podcast. Y'all. Interesting
podcast today, don't I don't think you know this, Bernie,
but it is January twenty second is the day this
(00:38):
comes out. And this is episode too twenty two. WHOA
a lot of two's going on in today's episode two
to two with two people on one two with two people. Yeah,
Bernie Calcut, one of my favorite guests, probably my original guest.
I don't know. You've been on more than anybody combined.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
And what we do here, man, we just answer your questions.
You email podcast at grangersmith dot com ask anything. And
I don't know. As we're recording this, after we finished,
we're going to go to lunch and so this literally
this podcast is like you go to lunch with us, Yeah,
and you say, hey, guys, did I run something by you?
Because that's what we're going to do at lunch today. Yeah,
(01:21):
no doubt right, So email podcast at grangersmith dot com.
We're going to get right to it. The first question
comes from Ethan. It says, hello, sir, my name is
Ethan from Michigan. I'm finishing up my last semester of
college and I'm getting a degree in welding engineering technology
and accept at a full time job as a welding
engineer for John Deere, my dream job since I was
(01:44):
thirteen years old. But I lost my dad unexpectedly in
April of twenty twenty from an aneurysm, leaving me my
mother and my three younger siblings, two boys and the
youngest a girl. As I prepare to move eight hours
of way way, I struggle with how much of the
father figure leadership role I'm supposed to take on and
(02:07):
whether or not I should be staying close to my family.
I love what you're doing and I look up to
you as a role model. Thanks for taking time to
read this. If you could send me the podcast number
if this is read, that would be awesome so that
I don't miss it. Thank you, Ethan. Yeah, episode two
too too. Okay, I think I think my man Ethan
(02:32):
emailed the right crew here. Yeah. Wow, that's we could
I could definitely feel this. I know Burns can actually Paul,
the guy that edits this, he lost his dad just
a few weeks ago. So this is the fraternity that
(02:53):
nobody wants to enter, but most of us eventually do
losing your dad and then, like Ethan, a lot of
us will go through this type idea. And whether or
not it's exactly like Ethan where you're you're wanting to
fill in a void with your parents or with your
(03:14):
mother and your siblings, it could also come in the
form of probably what you feel, and I feel, how
do I raise my kids without a grandpa and in
a way that I could kind of fill that void
that a grandpa would fill. And the answer is you can't.
(03:35):
But we still try to think, you know, like my
kids on my side, not Amber side, but my side,
my kids have never known a grandpa. My dad died
when London was two, And how often have I thought, ma'am,
dad would have made a good grandpa, Like Dad would
have taught them this about fishing. Our dad would have
(03:56):
been really good at throwing the ball in the yard.
And now I'm stuck in the grandpa mode and that's
a wrong thinking. Yeah, that's just naturally what we think. Sure,
when my dad died, Parker, my youngest brother was man,
he was like nineteen, I think he was nineteen or twenty,
(04:17):
and so that was a it was a different he
was in a different place than I was. He was
in college. He was like Ethan here right, he was
just like you. And that hits harder for that, for
that age group, for that, For what you're doing, Ethan,
I feel you, and Parker could feel you for sure.
Speaker 3 (04:37):
Yeah, you, being the oldest, probably have a different perspective
for Ethan than I would have. I was the youngest,
I was not as young as his sibling, you know,
his youngest sibling. But how did you net because I
think part of his question is, and Ethan, I'm so sorry, man,
(04:57):
this is a it's a tough thing to lose a day.
It's a tough thing then to carry the burden of
being a father figure. How how did you And I
know that you weren't trying to feel that for Tyler
or Parker, but how did you, as the oldest, you know,
(05:19):
lead them through the grieving process and just the leadership
of the family from you know, a man's point at
After that.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
I for sure felt that, and I feel what Ethan
Is is talking about here is you know, as I
lost my dad, I thought, man, I'm the oldest male
in this immediate family now, and and it's it's an
unnecessary burden that you'll put on yourself. It's just not
needed because you're you're not your dad, and you're not
going to fill the role for your mom of your
(05:51):
dad or for your siblings. You're you're not going to
fill that role. And so you really want to come
alongside your mom and encourage her and help her with
all the the new things that she has to deal
with as a widow. And this happened in twenty twenty,
so there's been some time to go by here too,
(06:14):
and so there is a level maybe could help me
with this, Bernie, but there is there is a time
for being there for your mom in her grief, and
then there's a time to say, okay, but I also
need to move forward with this job with John Deere.
That's what dad would want me to do, and it's
(06:36):
it would be probably unhealthy if I gave up everything
to be with mom and my siblings to fill a
spot that I can't even fill anyway.
Speaker 3 (06:46):
Sure, I think the communication with your mom is going
to be huge. Just understand, I mean it probably has
been at this point. This has been three years ago,
so Ethan, we'd love for you to write back in
maybe fill us in of where you are.
Speaker 1 (07:07):
And what's happened.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
And this is a new email.
Speaker 3 (07:10):
Oh okay, yeah, this but it happened in twenty twenty.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
Okay, he's just now preparing to move eight hours away. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (07:18):
I think it's probably time me too. I think you've
probably had communication with your mom. I feel like there's
because you more than being a father figure and filling
that role, you're a role model either way. Yeah, because
there's people out there probably listening who maybe they haven't
(07:40):
their father didn't pass away, but he's been absent and
they've had a sibling that's had to step in and
just be a role model. Maybe it's not a father figure,
but it's someone that can help by the way that
they live.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
Be an example.
Speaker 3 (07:56):
Hey, when you go to college and you work hard
and you study something, and then you have this opportunity,
you pray about it, and if the door continues to open,
even though you have to leave some things behind that
you love, you go for it.
Speaker 1 (08:11):
You go I think that that could be.
Speaker 3 (08:15):
Obviously he doesn't mention a lot about his dad's character,
but that could have been who his dad want, like
you said, wanted him to be and wanted you're going to,
you know, show that example to your siblings. If your
mom is in a good place. There's just a lot
of questions I'd have for Ethan. But if the question
(08:35):
is do I go pursue this this work that even
though it takes me a little bit away, I think
you do.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
I think you do that.
Speaker 3 (08:44):
I think you stay in communication and everything can be
for season, you know, if you if you take it
and you move and you're like, man, there's there's things
happening that I feel like my family needs me. Think
you're not committing, You're not committing your life to live there.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
So yeah, that's really good because Ethan, you could be
giving your mom a huge gift by taking yourself out
of the situation as at an appropriate time. Four years
is an appropriate time, So you remove yourself from maybe
you're a crutch to her, you know, like maybe you're
you're providing something that she's leaning on that's inhibiting her
(09:24):
from moving forward and continuing on with her life. Her
next phase of her life. Maybe you're doing the same
thing for your siblings. So what you think you're adding
to the family, maybe you're actually hurting with possibly. And
then the flip side of that is, if you don't
take this job at John Deere, you will think about
(09:45):
it for the rest of your life. Yeah, you've been
dreaming about it since you were thirteen.
Speaker 3 (09:50):
You're going to wonder what if the fact ethan that
you're writing in this question and this is weighing on
your heart whether I should go. I really care about
my family. It tells me for the last three years
you've probably been doing everything that you needed to do boom,
and it's probably time to give everybody some space and
(10:12):
be the example that your dad would probably want you
to be.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
Man Love it yep. Next question comes from Sam says, Hey, Granger,
I'm currently enrolled in a seminary and an elder in
my church. When writing sermons, it seems like a lot
of pastors just reuse information, example, quoting a book that's
not the Bible and using other people's information. Any advice
on how to start thinking on my own, almost so
(10:38):
I could give fresh looks into the Word of God.
I hope this makes sense. Appreciate you, Sam, okay man.
I was not expecting this kind of question.
Speaker 3 (10:48):
I don't write any sermons, so I'm gonna let you
say this one.
Speaker 2 (10:51):
Yeah, yeah, Sam. It's really critical though, that we do
talk through this. It's a good question, and I'm so
glad you ask them. So God burns here is here
because it's really critical because you don't need to give
fresh looks into the living Word of God. You don't.
(11:12):
That is that is the cultural pulling in you. That
is what society tells you you should do. That's what
you see on Instagram. But you don't need to. In fact,
it's dangerous if you do, if you try to give
a fresh look into you. This is your words. By
the way, how could I give a fresh look into
(11:32):
the living Word of God? If it's a living word
of God, it doesn't need a fresh look. It is
the truth already. And so so what do I do
with this information? Well, as you start teaching or preaching,
I guess that's what you're asking here. You preach expositionally,
(11:56):
meaning you work through the Bible itself and your trust
that the Word is going to not come back void,
so you'll you'll decide, well, okay, let me put it.
Let me put it in my shoes. For example, because
I'm not a pastor. If you were a pastor, you'd
work through. You'd stay like, Hey, we're going to work
through the Book of Luke, and it's going to take
(12:18):
us thirty weeks, thirty sundays, and we're going to work
through Luke. And I do what I do when I
go out and preach on a Sunday, like at a church,
not not a conference. That's a little different. But when
I go on a Sunday to a church, I'm gonna
I'm going to use a text and I'm gonna exegete
that text. Bernie and I've been doing this for a
(12:39):
long time. Is Bernie will be like, hey, I want
you to meditate on James one or something. But I'll
look at a text, read the text, talk about the text,
the historical context of the text to the to the crowd,
and then walk through it line by line, giving the
giving in the congregation the hears what the context that
(13:05):
the author intended it to be. So you're looking you're
looking at the world, at your congregation through the lens
of the text, as opposed to what you're saying, Look
at the text with the lens of the world, the
fresh look of the world into the text. Don't do that.
(13:27):
That's where you're That's where it becomes dangerous. Instead, look
through the text at the world. So you're going to
read the text in the context of the way it
was supposed to be read and heard. Explain what the
author's intent was in the text. And then after you
do that, then you could start applying it to the
(13:50):
modern hearer. After you've exegeted the text, then you apply
it to the modern congregation. The fresh we'll use it there.
The freshness comes after the text, not before that. Not
only is that important to hear for you, but man,
(14:13):
it's so relieving. Like you don't have to write a
new tech talk every week. You don't have to come
up with the fresh new series on relationships or on
heartache or loss, or finances or prayer. You don't have
to think of a new series. You just go our
(14:33):
series and it could be one of those aspects I
just said as the application in the text in the
Book of Luke that you're working through.
Speaker 1 (14:41):
Man, it just.
Speaker 2 (14:42):
Clears your plate. It makes life so much easier for you.
And what I believe you're more faithful to the Bible.
When you do that, you're just walking through You're walking
through Hebrews, you're walking through Luke, you're walking through First Samuel.
You could decide that with the other elders and something
neat that you might be able to do is go
Old Testament and then the next series is the New
(15:04):
Testament book, and then you go back to the Old
Testament book, but you're working through the text and the
way the author wanted you to hear it, and you're
presenting that to the crowd and then applying it to
their life in a fresh way that after right, I
hope that makes sense, brother, But I'm encouraged. I'm encourage
that you're even emailing and asking what I think is
(15:25):
a really good and important question. Podcast is brought to
you all by Shopify. You know, when I first started
a band, an online store was probably the furthest thing
from my mind. It just sounds way too complicated, But
now we look back Onyee Apparel, it's actually so easy,
(15:47):
all because I use Shopify. Shopify is the global commerce
platform that helps you sell it every stage of your business,
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Speaker 1 (16:04):
Won't?
Speaker 2 (16:04):
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(16:28):
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Parker as we try to run Yegee Apparel, we realized
a long time ago that we just were in the
apparel business because we liked and we enjoyed growing a brand,
(16:50):
and we knew something about it. But you know, we
didn't want to have to get deep into the weeds
of learning the ins and outs of an e commerce platform.
That's just that's not in my wheelhouse. But that's where
shopif if I came in a long time ago. For us.
They've not only been a platform that we use, but
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(17:11):
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(17:32):
com slash granger all lowercase. Go to Shopify dot com
slash granger all lowercase. Go to Shopify dot com slash
granger now to grow your business no matter what stage
you're in Shopify dot com slash granger. You know, if
you want to get a hold of me or get
a video message from me right to your phone, sent
(17:54):
from me, and you could have me send it to
anybody you want. Maybe it's a gift, maybe it's just
a word of encouragement, maybe it's a surprise to someone else.
I could do that right here on my phone and
send you that video message according to what you want
me to say. Go to Cameo dot com slash granger
Smith and find me. Next question comes from Anonymous, says
(18:20):
I'm sixteen. I'm from Texas. Really love your book and
your podcast. Your story is incredible. Recently found out that
the one person I trusted and loved the most lied
about something for a year. I had to find out
from someone else. I've been asked if I'll ever be
able to forgive. I've prayed about it, and I'm trying
(18:41):
to forgive because I know it's the right thing to do,
but I don't know exactly how. This hurts me a lot,
and I won't be able to forget this pain. What
does it mean to forgive? How can I forgive? I'm
smiling because this is the most like anonymous no information
(19:01):
kind of email. Yeah, that you could possibly write.
Speaker 3 (19:05):
But from somebody that's sixteen. I guarantee I wasn't asking nobody.
Now do I forgive? What does it mean to forgive?
Speaker 1 (19:11):
At sixteen? So who to you? Anonymous?
Speaker 3 (19:14):
Like?
Speaker 2 (19:14):
That's amazing.
Speaker 3 (19:17):
I think your thoughts that you could share that have
been really helpful' listen to you in the past from
you about the difference between trust and forgiveness.
Speaker 2 (19:25):
Yeah, yeah, when you're sixteen, this is hard, man, I
mean it's hard when you're our age. And let me say,
let me reread what you said. You said, I found
out that the one person I trusted and loved the
(19:46):
most lied. Okay, So you might be thinking, to Bernie's point,
you might be thinking, I can't forgive them because they
broke my trust. And I want to encourage you that
the trust and forgiveness aren't the same thing, and they
don't have to exist together at all, And same with agreement.
(20:06):
You could forgive someone and not agree with them. You
could forgive someone and not trust them. So maybe just
separating those ideas first of all would be helpful for you.
And remember this also, forgiveness doesn't require a certain response
from them, It doesn't require reconciliation of the problem itself.
(20:26):
This is a heart posture that we take to forgive.
So to say, whatever this person did, and it's bad
because you had to email this podcast, that's how bad
it is. To forgive is your heart posture. Now here's
the problem. This is the problem with forgiveness. It is
a heart posture towards that other person. But our heart
(20:49):
is stubborn and doesn't want to do it, and so
we start with our mind. And what I'm telling you
here is just things that I've tried to collect my
thoughts about, because it's not like there is no facts
about this, So don't think that I'm telling you facts here.
I'm just telling you the way I've collected this idea.
(21:10):
We take our mind and we we make a decision,
similar to love. We make a decision I will forgive
this person, and then our hearts kicks and screams as
our mind is dragging it along the dirt road.
Speaker 1 (21:27):
I don't want to forgive, no way.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
They lied to me, and your mind says you don't
have to trust them, and they go, but I don't.
Speaker 1 (21:34):
I don't like them.
Speaker 2 (21:36):
You don't have to agree with them, but you will
forgive them. That's what we're doing. We're gonna forgive. And
then I have found that when you take captive your thoughts,
like the Bible says, your your heart will catch up
and your heart will eventually set aflame the idea why
(21:56):
because forgiveness is biblical. We're told to forgive. Why not
so that it causes us pain or friction, because eventually
we rest in that and we go, oh yeah, man,
that person lied to me and I don't trust them.
But it's Okay, forget I forgive them what they did.
There's consequences to what they did. I'm not gonna follow
(22:17):
this path anymore, but I forgive them, and there's healing
in that for us.
Speaker 3 (22:23):
Yeah, I've like you probably have had people who have
done what has happened to Anonymous, have really just hurt
me in some way, broken my trust, you know, incredibly.
Speaker 1 (22:39):
And what I found with forgiveness.
Speaker 3 (22:42):
Like love, is it is not something you do once,
because I will if I'm honest, I'll find my heart
in a posture sometimes of like, man, I think I've
talked about this before, like grace being the front door
to the house of gratitude, and like.
Speaker 1 (23:03):
I will get to that place.
Speaker 3 (23:07):
But then like a week later, if I'm honest, my
heart is like I don't want to forgive them. It
comes back again because I'll go back into that pain.
I'll feel that again, and I have to, like you said,
make that decision and I'll go back to the word
that is living in me and saying no, I forgive them.
Speaker 1 (23:27):
I'm letting that go. I'm not holding on to that.
Speaker 3 (23:31):
And so just an encouragement, like if you get to
a place in your heart where you feel like I
can forgive them, and then the next week you're like,
I don't want to forgive them. It's natural, but it
is like a decision and a heart posture that you
may have to just continually work through.
Speaker 2 (23:48):
Yeah. You know, as you're talking, I was thinking that
sometimes people will email me or DM me or something
and they'll get mad at me at a question like
this for not preaching the gospel. You know. It's like, well,
you can't really forgive until you know that you've been forgiven.
And I'll get that. I'll get that.
Speaker 3 (24:08):
People people will email you mad that you didn't like
that's yeah, guys, would y'all chill out on gradiar a
little bit? Man, Like?
Speaker 2 (24:17):
That's just life. That's life.
Speaker 1 (24:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:19):
So so let me throw that critique to you and say,
Anonymous says nothing about God or anything. Can can anonymous
be a non believer and wholeheartedly forgive or does it? Should?
It require a deeper understanding. I'll just throw that at you.
(24:41):
There's no, I don't that's a difficult one. I don't
think so.
Speaker 3 (24:44):
I think you've used a term before, and I'm not
sure what it is, but it's like I know from
experience people who have been hurt and they genuinely and
I've been in close relationship with these people, they have
forgiven and you you see them live with a sense
of you know, contentment and forgiveness.
Speaker 1 (25:05):
And that's real life. I know that. You know, super
churchy people would love to be.
Speaker 3 (25:09):
Like, well, you gotta know Jesus to really.
Speaker 2 (25:11):
You can't know love, you can't know forgiveness, you can't
know peace, you can't know joy, you can't no hope.
I get it, I get it. But yeah, but we're
also images image bearers of God, all of us. Whether
we reject God or love God, we are image bearers
of Him and we carry these attributes in us in
(25:32):
this life here on earth right now.
Speaker 3 (25:34):
Yeah. So to your question though, to have to be
able to do that, I think so to have a
deeper understanding of what forgiveness is a picture of and
an ultimate picture of. Of course they're not, you know,
they wouldn't understand that because they don't believe it. That's
not their faith claim.
Speaker 2 (25:56):
Yeah, that's good. That's a good I like it to.
All the hate is up there. Next question comes from
Kurt says, Hey, Granger, a friend recommended your podcast to
me a couple months ago, and I've enjoyed listening to
it ever since. Thank you for all you do. I'm
twenty two years old and I'm currently finishing up my MBA. Wow.
(26:17):
I have two potential job offers for after school. One
position is a good paying management position at a reputable company,
but the other position is a loose a youth ministry
position at a church. I'm struggling with the decision because
i want to glorify God in my work and make
an impact on the world around me, but I don't
know what that would look like in the business world.
(26:39):
I believe God will use me no matter what path
I take, but I'm currently trying to figure out which
way to go. I have tried to pursue godly counsel
and guidance, but I still feel like I'm wrestling with
the decision. Any advice or wisdom would be greatly appreciated.
It says just a country boy from Michigan, Kurt. Okay,
heavy one here, not a heavy one. It's it's worth
(27:03):
discussing here. I'll say it that way. First of all, Kurt,
I'm just gonna say outside looking in you, you, me
and Bernie were riding together and you drop this honest
and say, we've known you for a little bit and
we know that you've been finishing up this NBA, we
know that you have a good paying management position at
(27:25):
a good company on the line here, and we're gonna
probably say here you go to youth ministry, Like I
want to dig at you like that. I want to say,
are you sure? Because the thing is, if you're truly
called to this position at church, you're gonna go. Yeah,
I'm truly sure. I am afraid about it. I can't
(27:48):
sleep at night. I really want to do it. I
want to be at this youth ministry position and me
and Bernie then are gonna go cool. But if you're
going which do I choose, then we're gonna go hang
on a second. Man, You've committed all this time to
this degree. And I think so many people need to
(28:12):
pump the brakes about ministry positions until they have really
honed in on their own heart posture to God, because
there is a there's a danger of this romantic idea
of ministry, right, Like, maybe that's the way I glorify
(28:35):
God better in ministry than I do in this good
company position. That's a lie right off the bat. The
Bible says, not everyone is called the ministry. Not all
of you should be teachers, right Like, we need people
in all positions. So you're gonna glorify God in any
(28:58):
position if you're glorifying God. Okay, what you got burns, oh, Man,
I know you got good influences.
Speaker 3 (29:07):
What was his name, Kurt, Kurt, Yeah, Kurt, I think
there is. What Granger said, there's a huge there's a
there's a misconception that the church is the church and
if you're holy, you work in the church and you're
in ministry.
Speaker 1 (29:25):
But the Bible talks about.
Speaker 3 (29:29):
Pastors equipping the saints for the purpose of ministry. That's
the point of the church, guys. It's not so that
you can go and be fulfilling your you know, godly duty. No,
if you do that, you are supposed to be a
small minority of people that are there to equip the
(29:50):
rest of us to go into the marketplace and glorify
God through whatever sphere of influence that we are in.
So that's the first kind of like correction in the
thought process. Then the second is man and I don't know,
maybe I'm just getting old and I've been in business,
(30:11):
successful businesses and connected with a lot of people and
money and whatever, and man, I just I'm getting to
the point where I just want to live. Oh my gosh, Granger,
this has never happened on the podcast.
Speaker 1 (30:25):
Man, I'm sorry.
Speaker 3 (30:29):
I just so badly want to live a simple life.
I just want to be instead of with all these
people in these business decisions. I just want to be
with him. I just want to know him, you know,
(30:52):
And guys and Kurt, there's so many distractions.
Speaker 1 (30:57):
In this life.
Speaker 3 (30:58):
So just take Heed and the call that. Man, if
you go that route, if you even go to the
ministry route, there's gonna be so many temptations for you
just to be distracted with the work instead of the
purpose behind it and the relationship and he hearing his
voice and knowing him.
Speaker 1 (31:17):
What did Jesus do more than anything?
Speaker 3 (31:21):
He retreated to solitude to pray with all the crowds
that were trying to build his platform, and we would
be like, oh, yeah, that's the promotion, that's the job,
that's the dream job you're thinking of, and Jesus ran
away from that. When did we get this backwards? And
(31:44):
I've gotten it backwards for a long time, and now
I'm just at a place where I'm like, man, God,
what do you want me to do with this?
Speaker 1 (31:56):
Give it away?
Speaker 2 (32:00):
Well?
Speaker 1 (32:02):
Be faithful? What and And I've just learned.
Speaker 3 (32:05):
That probably the answer to your question is just to
retreat and pray and listen.
Speaker 1 (32:15):
Can we pause?
Speaker 3 (32:16):
Man? Good night?
Speaker 1 (32:37):
I don't know where this came from. Sorry, Paul, Sorry.
Speaker 3 (32:40):
Man, I hope that I left you a okay place
to cut.
Speaker 1 (32:46):
And good night. I'm so sorry. Grazier.
Speaker 2 (32:49):
I'll be honest with you, Burns. I don't think we
have to cut because it's real, it's raw, and I mean,
we'll cut the podcast if you think you want to
cut this podcast. But I think I think it makes
it more authentic to Kurt if he hears it from you,
because here he is half your age and he's going,
(33:14):
what do I do? Here's a guy that goes, I'll
tell you what to do, tell you what I would do,
tell you what I'm doing now. Yeah, Kurt, I remember
(33:34):
being twenty two. And don't don't take anything that anything
is going on, the emotion's going on here at the
table right now. Don't take this as a how stupid
are you? That's that's not what this is, Kurt. I
think you're just You're talking to two men here, both
(33:56):
of us that have that have achieved a lot in
the business world. And this is not this is not
a message for you to avoid the business world and
going to ministry. And that's that's the last thing I
would tell you. But I would say this, and I
think this is what Bernie was saying at the beginning.
(34:19):
You're in ministry as a believer, whether you have that
title on your email or not. That's what's forgotten, is
that we are all called the ministry. We are all
called to obedience to our Lord. We are all called
(34:39):
to spread the word of the good News. You are
an ambassador to the Christ, the Messiah, the Lord of lords,
the King of kings, the one with all authority. He
has been given all authority. You are an ambassador to him.
(35:02):
There is no greater call than that. You don't have
to be at a church to do it. You have
to be I would hope that you're attending a church.
That's not what I'm saying. But you don't have to
be staffed at a church. You can. You need to
go into your management positions all over the world and
(35:24):
support the greater mission the capital see church from all places.
There are no specific missions that go out worldwide without
extensive support from people in secular industries. It just doesn't
happen any other way. So I love you, Burns Man.
(35:51):
That was I think that's the best thing that could
have happened out of that question.
Speaker 3 (35:57):
Well, yeah, you guys have now seen me.
Speaker 1 (36:02):
Every kind of laughter and tear.
Speaker 3 (36:04):
But I yeah, I just know this last holiday season,
our family was totally under committed and in a world
that is wanting more and better and bigger, and we
were just under committed, and we were slow and we
(36:26):
were quiet. And guys, I have just heard God's voice
clearer in that time than ever in my life. And
so if you want to know what to do, if
you want to know where to go, just find the quiet.
I promise. This world is so loud and it's telling
you a lot of lies. But if you find that,
I promise that you're going to see that path clearer
(36:50):
than you ever will. That's good.
Speaker 2 (36:56):
All right, A couple more questions here. This next one
comes from Mac and it says, I don't know how
to put this, but I'll try my best. Right now,
I'm fifteen years old, about to be sixteen in May.
I've been struggling with poorn since I was eleven and
masturbation since I was thirteen. My parents also got divorced
(37:18):
when I was eight, and my mother, age forty two,
just died a little over a year ago when I
was fourteen. I have had suicidal thoughts, but I'm currently
seeing a therapist for it. I have been dealing with
many more problems since a young age, but I've been
trying to follow Christ just a few years now. My
(37:39):
point is this, how do I follow Christ or get closer?
After everything that has happened, I keep asking myself, why
would eleven God allow this in my life? Got from mac.
Speaker 1 (37:54):
Man Mac.
Speaker 3 (37:56):
I'm so sorry, boy, that's really heavy.
Speaker 1 (37:59):
You have you have been through.
Speaker 3 (38:03):
Very traumatic, what seemed to be traumatic things in your life.
Speaker 1 (38:08):
Where do you want to start?
Speaker 3 (38:09):
Griz because there's uh, there's a few different things that
he's said and that he's asking.
Speaker 2 (38:15):
Yeah, I think I think that I could probably go
this is episode two twenty two, and I could probably
go every episode from now on and talk about addiction
to porn and the questions I get about it.
Speaker 1 (38:31):
Yeah, So what that?
Speaker 2 (38:33):
What does that mean. Well, first, the first thing it
means for Mac is you're not alone. You're not alone
in this although with that kind of addiction, it's a
private addiction. It's behind closed doors. And because of that,
and no one talks about it. None of your friends say, Man,
(38:55):
I'm addicted to porn and masturbation. No, your friends don't
say that.
Speaker 1 (39:00):
Real side note, real quick.
Speaker 3 (39:01):
Isn't it interesting how in the Bible it says that
we need to confess our sins to one another, and
we need to do our good works in secret.
Speaker 1 (39:13):
The opposite, but yet we do the opposite.
Speaker 3 (39:15):
We put all the good works on Instagram and we
don't tell anybody about any of our sin.
Speaker 1 (39:20):
So just a side note, we may have something backwards.
Speaker 2 (39:24):
Yeah, that seems to be a theme on this podcast,
backwards things. So that's the first point I want to make, Mac,
is that you're not alone, although with this kind of deception,
this kind of sin, it feels like you are. And
then divorce. There we go. There's the second thing. You're
not alone on divorce. In fact, statistics say well over
(39:47):
fifty percent of everyone in the world is divorced, comes
from a divorce family. And then your mother age forty
two died over a year ago. When you're fourteen. That
is a smaller group, but that is still a group
that I would say you're not alone in. Knowing that
(40:10):
you're not alone doesn't make any of this easier. It
just perhaps makes it more understandable that you are not unique, right,
because uniqueness sounds like you're alone on an island and
this problem that's never been had and can never be solved,
and no one's ever thought about it. So that when
I say you're not alone, I'm not saying easy, it's easy,
(40:32):
you're not alone. I'm saying, look, you're not alone. That
means a lot of people have done a lot of
thought about this. That's good. It's kind of like when
you get let me think it's something really easy, you
have a problem in your car and then YouTube it
and you find out there's like a thousand people telling
(40:53):
you how to fix it on YouTube. They're like, Okay, cool,
I thought this was a freak deal that happened in
my car. But there's actually a lot of people explaining this.
So there we go. And then the last the last
thing here suicidal thoughts once again, not alone. That statistic
(41:13):
is really high. Really high. It's probably a lot higher
excuse me, a lot higher than any statistic actually shows,
because people don't like to talk about it. You're seeing
a therapist and then you're trying to follow Christ. You've
been doing that for a few years. Your question is
(41:35):
how do you follow Christ and get closer? After that
has happened, we'll deal with that question, and then we'll
deal with your last question, why would a loving God
allow this in my life? Great questions, Mac, and we're
going to walk through it like we're sitting around a campfire.
That's what we do on this podcast. No notes, no quotes.
(41:59):
We don't have a C. S. Lewis book sitting right
here that has like the perfect quips or the perfect answers.
So we've established you're not alone. We've established these are
these are problems that a lot of people struggle with
and probably don't even talk about. And then we're going
to talk about how to follow Christ and how a
(42:20):
loving God would allow this in your life. We'll start
with the first one, Burns, how does he get how
would how would one not even Mac? How would one
hypothetically get closer to Christ?
Speaker 1 (42:36):
Oh Man? All right, what's his name again?
Speaker 2 (42:43):
Mac, it may see what.
Speaker 1 (42:45):
Was the dude that made me cry earlier?
Speaker 3 (42:47):
Kurt Kurt, Okay, Mac, I'm really hoping you ain't gone
to a to me brother. But we talked about this
off air a little while ago, like whenever somebody passes
away there or maybe it was one of the questions earlier,
like there's this connection that we try to make.
Speaker 1 (43:07):
Maybe we didn't even know.
Speaker 3 (43:09):
Them, you know, like the grandfather, but we know that
the grandfather liked to work on cars. And every time
that I go and I work on cars, I feel
this like connection. Maybe I never knew him, but I've
heard so much about him, or maybe I knew him
and this is what we did together. And so now
that he's gone, I love to go work on cars
because man, I feel this connection. I feel like I
(43:29):
still know him, Like he's there.
Speaker 1 (43:32):
You know what Jesus did.
Speaker 3 (43:34):
He suffered, and the word tells us that we can know.
Speaker 1 (43:39):
Him in his suffering.
Speaker 3 (43:42):
We can share in his suffering. And I feel like
if you want to know him, if you want to
know Christ, then intentionally you can find and maybe you
are in this, Mac, like you can pray in your suffering,
like Jesus is there with you. There is I think
(44:03):
there is a means for you through that, not to
move it away, And like I just got to focus
on Jesus and I got to talk to the church.
It's like no, like in that suffering, in those moments
of agony and pain and hurt, it's like Jesus is there.
He bore that too. And I feel like there is
(44:27):
a way if you have that intention and you have
that mindset that you can draw I think that was closer.
How do you draw closer to him?
Speaker 1 (44:37):
How do we know.
Speaker 2 (44:37):
Him after everything that happened? Yeah, but you're building an
argument that it's actually easier to get closer to him
after that stuff happens.
Speaker 1 (44:46):
Yes, yes, one hundred percent.
Speaker 2 (44:48):
Because when things are going good in your life and
everything's great, you don't think about God. You think about
yourself and how good things are. And so when when
the Lord removes things from him, when he tightens his
grip a little bit, when he lessens our oxygen intake
a little bit, and we start gasping for air, we
go God, where are you?
Speaker 1 (45:10):
Where are you?
Speaker 2 (45:11):
And in those moments we might say things like how
do I get closer to you? And He's going I'm
doing it.
Speaker 3 (45:18):
Yeah, he said, you actually six months ago you pray
that you wanted to know me more. I'm answering your prayer. Yeah,
this is this is quite literally how it happens. Yeah,
it's through suffering, and I know nobody likes that. And
the other thing that I've thought of recently is we
have these things that are probably outside of your control,
(45:38):
your mom passing away.
Speaker 2 (45:40):
This.
Speaker 1 (45:40):
I lost my mom at.
Speaker 3 (45:41):
A young age too, and so I do understand that,
and that was I didn't have any control over that.
But that was a suffering and a pain that I
had to go through. But Jesus knew he intentionally came
to suffer ahead of time. So I think even in
j for everybody out there listening, I feel like and
(46:03):
for me, I'm almost trying to find ways, Like you've
questioned me before or people have about like why do
you do cold showers, why do you do ultra running?
Why do you do these crazy things? And it just
like recently through Philippians three ten, I was like, that's
the connection. I get to know Jesus. I get to
know him in his suffering. And so I'm gonna go
(46:26):
into that. That's a song that it's one hundred and
eighty degrees. Then that cold plungees forty and I'm just
gonna sit in and I'm gonna be like, oh, I
know it's not the Cross. I know it is not,
but just a little bit a taste of it, a
little bit more closer to you. I want to know
you in this. And so I know it's counterculture, it's backwards,
(46:47):
but I do believe that we we know other people
through suffering with them, and I believe that we can
know him and draw closer to him through the suffering
that magnet be going through right now.
Speaker 2 (47:01):
So in snow skiing, there's the bunny run, the Greens,
the Blues, the black diamonds, and the double blacks. I
think you're I think you're on like a black double
black diamond right now with with your walk in Christianity.
And I think Max, like we need to take him
to the bunny slope. He might be thinking, I don't
(47:26):
even know who Jesus is. Yeah, you're right, you know
what I mean? If he's Yeah, Mac, let me back up.
Speaker 3 (47:31):
If you're having suicidal thoughts, he said, he's in therapy. Yeah,
there there there's a different mental state that a stable
state that we need to encourage you to get to
before you start.
Speaker 1 (47:47):
Thinking about all this nonsense. I was saying.
Speaker 2 (47:49):
Yeah, so yeah, don't get on the double black Diamond
until you learn how to snow ski. Let's get you
on the bunny slope. Okay, what Bernie's saying is all truth,
and I love it. And he's in a really a
really diverse of spiritual mountain right now, which is really
cool to see. But if we're gonna get you on
the bunny slope, and we'll first say what Bernie said,
(48:11):
and that's a good reminder that if you are having
suicidal thoughts, please seek medical attention. Okay, this, this podcast
is not the end all be all. You need to
seek medical attention and get help in that way. Okay,
so boom, let's establish that. Second, let's get on the
bunny slope with Jesus, which eventually will trump everything that,
(48:35):
all the therapy and all the medical help. He will
trump all of that. But you need to get to
know him. You need to know who he is. When
you know who he is, you no longer say things
like why would a loving God allow this in my life?
I don't think you know this loving God, And in fact,
(48:57):
I know that you don't. And I don't say that
to insult you. I just I know from your email
that you don't, and I want you to desperately, I
really want you to, Mac And this is going to
start with a couple of ways. It's going to start
with knowing Him, knowing the Gospel, reading His word, going
(49:19):
to church. And I'm not trying to stack up a
to do list for you, a grocery list. That's not
what I'm trying to do. But there are a lot
of ways to attack this, and I think it probably
with this conversation starts with the Gospel. So let me
let me tell you the gospel, because the Bible says
that those who hear it there is transformational power in it.
(49:41):
The power of God lives in this message. It appeals
to your conscience in a way that your your social
mind tries to reject it. This appeals to your conscience
in a way that we cannot understand because we were
created by a God. With this story. Okay, so the
gospel starts with God, all knowing, all powerful, all loving.
(50:09):
This God creates. I mean that idea alone, like just
stop there and just think about it. For a second, God,
who needs nothing, who exists in eternal past. He was
not created, he does not have a beginning, and he
decides out of his love he's going to create. So
(50:30):
he creates man in his own image. He creates everything,
but we're the only thing of all the things in
his image. And early on we reject him. We inherit
that sin from all of our ancestors, the sin of
rejection to God. We rebel against him, and that manifests
(50:51):
itself in all kinds of ways. We are sinners. Now.
We feel sorry for ourselves, and we'd like to change
that name to like scars and and you know, like
problems that happened to us, you know, like wounds, wounds
and scars. We like to say, but the truth is
it's a sin. It's a rejection of God himself, and
(51:15):
in that we have separated ourselves from God. Isaiah fifty
nine to two says, your iniquities have separated you from
your God, and your sins have hidden his face from
you so that he does not hear. So he has
separated from you because of your sin. That's what your
(51:36):
sin has done. And the reason I say it that
way is because we like to think of our sin
as like, please, God, I got this sin. Will you
come heal me and make it better for me. God
knows that he sins Jesus who says, I didn't come
just to make it better for you. I came to
reconcile your relationship with God because you can't do it.
(51:56):
I come to bring you, to tear down that separation
and bring you to God. That's why Jesus came to
reconcile sinners, to bring them to God, sinners that cannot
do it on our own, because we're imperfect beings. So
God sinds his son, which we call this is a
big word, the incarnation. He comes to earth, lives the
(52:19):
perfect life in a way that we couldn't. And what
do we do. We kill him. We send him to
the cross. He dies on the cross as a replacement
for our sins. He kills sin on the cross. He
takes it upon himself on his body. He takes our
sins on his body and bears it himself on the cross.
(52:41):
And then three days later he's resurrected from the dead.
And he says, anyone who looks to me, anyone who
looks upon me, who believes in me, turns from themselves?
Who turns from their poor, pitiful selves? That's always worried
about how am I going to overcome poor? How am
I going to overcome masturbation? How am I going to
overcome I'm the loss of my family. Oh I'm so
(53:02):
I just want to be I want me, me, me,
He says. You turn from that, turn to me, Believe
in me, and I will restore you. I will redeem you,
I will heal you. I will adopt you as a
son to the Kingdom of God. That's what Jesus came
to do. So my invitation to you right now, Mac,
(53:23):
is that you hear those words and you respond to
them in a way because those words do not call indifference.
It's like this. It's like me saying, hey, Mac, you
have a heart disease, that it will kill you, you
will die. You need a heart transplant. I'm a doctor
telling you you need a heart transplant. That kind of
(53:44):
news demands a response. You cannot be indifferent to that, Riachon.
You can't go, well, I don't know, I don't know, doc,
It's yes or no, right, And so that the gospel
does the same thing. You have a disease that will
kill you. Here's the cure. Jesus is the cure. He
reconciles you to God. So my challenge to you, because
(54:06):
you asked the question, how do I fall across and
get closer? You asked the question, My challenges you to you.
It's tonight, Mac you get down on your knees alone
in a quiet place. You got it. I know I
don't pray very often. In fact, I don't really even
know how. But I listened to this podcast and I
heard granger and burning. They were getting really emotional, and
(54:29):
they were telling me about what Jesus did on the
cross and telling me that I don't have to be
a good person to get to you. I just need
to put all my trust in you that you did
the work for me. And then after that, I'm gonna
feel this peace. I'm gonna feel this. I'm gonna feel this,
this love from your grace that goes and kills this masturbation,
(54:52):
that kills this weird guilt that I have in my
life that wants to take my life, my own life away.
That's what I heard. And God, I want to believe that.
I want that open my heart so that I believe it.
Open my eyes to this word.
Speaker 1 (55:09):
Do this? What do I do?
Speaker 2 (55:11):
God? I want to follow you. I want to know
why a loving God would allow this stuff in my life?
Are you a loving God? I believe that you are.
This is the kind of prayer I want him to
have tonight as he hears this podcast. That's my challenge
to you, Mac, And you can go one of two ways.
You could do it, or you can go I don't know.
(55:32):
I don't know about it. I don't know about all stuff,
but I'm gonna tell you cannot be indifferent to a
doctor telling you you need a heart transplant? Why would
a loving God? Last question, why would a loving God
allow this in Max's life? Do you have an answer
for that? Burns oh Man, I mean you kind of
(55:55):
said it earlier.
Speaker 3 (56:00):
Yeah, I I'm trying to think of where Max coming
from with that question. Those two questions.
Speaker 2 (56:11):
Back to back, it's a struggle.
Speaker 3 (56:16):
It's almost like, if he takes your advice, I'm happy
to answer, you can answer, But I feel like if
you take Granger's advice on the first one, you'll probably
find the answer to the second one.
Speaker 2 (56:28):
That's good. Yeah, yeah, you worry about that kind of
stuff less when you understand the first part. Yeah, because
because what Burns is saying is when you stand on truth,
when you know the truth. As God has revealed himself
in the Bible, we know that he is good. We
(56:50):
know that he is all powerful, all purposing. We know
that He also mourns with those who mourn, weeps with
those who weep. We know that he hates. Listen to this,
A lot of people go, God doesn't hate, yes, mac
God hates this sin. He hates this idea of you
(57:11):
and your suicidal thoughts. He hates that you hurt. You're
made in his image. He hates that you hurt. He
hates this porn addiction, he hates this masturbation addiction. And
he offers you truth, and he offers you love, and
he says that he's good. He self reveals himself is good,
(57:35):
and so we trust God. You're good, You're holy, You're
different than me. I can't understand your ways. So the
fact that I can't understand where I am in my
life right now, I can understand that you are good,
and you work things to the counsel of your own
will for the purpose of your own good, which is
ultimately the purpose of all of our good because if
(57:56):
it's good for God, it eventually is good for us. Look,
that's not that difficult. That might sound crazy, it's not
that difficult to understand when you look at it in
terms of a child. We are children compared to him.
We know nothing. It's like I've said this before, me
taking my kids to a man that straps them to
the chair and performs painful things on them. Later to
(58:21):
find out I was just taking them to the dentist,
and they think I'm evil and horrible to do this
to them. In fact, pay someone to do that. It's
a dentist.
Speaker 3 (58:31):
Who would put their kid through that.
Speaker 1 (58:33):
Yeah, it's the same.
Speaker 2 (58:35):
It's the same. We could go on and on. We've
got a little extra on this podcast, if not even
gonna get to the last question, because this has been
something man, this is.
Speaker 1 (58:47):
Too too emotionally. Is that the words you're looking for?
Speaker 2 (58:53):
Man?
Speaker 3 (58:54):
I appreciate you guys out there bearing with me, y'all.
Speaker 2 (58:56):
Before we started burning, I prayed, We prayed for the
words of this podcast, and I still I still don't
know as I look back on what we've said, I
don't know what we said that is helpful or if
we said it the right way. But I just trust
that God takes this and his word does not return voids.
So we love y'all. Thanks for hitting us hard with
(59:20):
some really good questions and we'll see you next moment.
Thanks for joining me on the Grangersmith podcast. I appreciate
all of you guys. You could help me out by
rating this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube, subscribe
to this channel, hit that little like button and notification
spell so that you never miss anytime I upload a video.
(59:40):
Yihi
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