Lil Xan Says He's Struggling To 'Get Sober' Following Mac Miller's Death

Lil Xan got candid about his struggles with substance abuse following the death of his "idol" Mac Miller. 

While on Adam 22's podcast No Jumper, Xan spoke about Mac's apparent overdose and how the 26-year-old rapper's death has caused him to take a look at his own life. 

"The Mac sh*t is crazy," Xan said. "I've been crying in my apartment, Mac didn't die, Mac didn't overdose." Adding, "I want to be clean and sober, but that shit is hard.... I want to get sober now, completely sober, but it's so hard. I just want to be off everything. I want to be like a normal person.... if I didn't have a tour coming up I would be in rehab right now... I'm down for any type of help."

Mac's untimely death has also made Xan question if he wants to continue making music. "When your hero dies, f**k that sh*t, I don't want to make music no more," the "Betrayed" rapper said after saying he plans to retire once his contract is up. 

Xan additionally discussed his last words with Mac, which were made at one of the late rapper's last shows. "Before I left, he was like 'Be safe,'" Xan recalled. "People say that you know, like 'be safe.' But he grabbed me, and he pulled me back and he was like 'No I mean BE SAFE.' That almost made me cry, that's my idol right there." He added, "I keep thinking about that, how it resonated in my head, how those were his last words."

As previously reported, Mac was found dead in his San Fernando Valley home on Friday (September 7) after an apparent overdose.

On Sunday (September 9), Xan debuted a new face tattoo that he got in honor of Mac. "MOMENTO MORI 💔," he captioned a picture that shows the words tattooed over his eyebrow." Miss you Mac,y’all can start hating me now." 

If you or anyone you know is facing substance abuse issues, call the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration’s National Helpline at 1-800-662-4357 for free and confidential information 24/7.

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