January 21, 2025 • 42 mins
Morgan White Fills In On NightSide with Dan Rea
It’s a skill we all need to have…and many of us could use a refresher! Communication Doctor, Dennis Becker, Founder of The Speech Improvement Company, works with people to help them overcome their fears of public speaking by refining their everyday communication skills. Dr. Becker joined Morgan to help listeners overcome their fears of public speaking!
Ask Alexa to play WBZ NewsRadio on #iHeartRadio and listen to NightSide with Dan Rea Weeknights From 8PM-12AM!
It’s a skill we all need to have…and many of us could use a refresher! Communication Doctor, Dennis Becker, Founder of The Speech Improvement Company, works with people to help them overcome their fears of public speaking by refining their everyday communication skills. Dr. Becker joined Morgan to help listeners overcome their fears of public speaking!
Ask Alexa to play WBZ NewsRadio on #iHeartRadio and listen to NightSide with Dan Rea Weeknights From 8PM-12AM!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
It's Dan Ray Unbeling Mazy Boston's news.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
Radio Last hour, to be specific, last fifty two plus
minutes of Nightside. And this gentleman I met way back
somewhere between sixty seven and seventy one, nineteen sixty seven
nineteen seventy one. He was a teacher at Brookline High.
(00:26):
Those days are far far in his rearview mirror. And
he has a company called the Speech Improvement Company, used
to be the Speech Improvement Center. And what they do
over there is get rid of all of the verbal
(00:48):
crutches that you have in your way of communicating. You know,
you know, you know, you know, you know, I'm I'm
like like like like like like. There are three examples
right there. And if you have an interview coming up
(01:11):
and you want to make sure that you put your
best foot forward, this is the man who can help you.
So Dennis, Dennis Becker, welcome Tonight's.
Speaker 3 (01:29):
You always lie to your listeners like that? My goodness,
yes I do. Oh good well, we'rend a good company.
The old the guy I used to know for sure.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
Thank you and tell people let me back up, advertise yourself,
let people know if they come to see you, what
you can do for them.
Speaker 3 (01:53):
Oh my goodness. Well, it kind of depends on the
reason for which they come to me. I mean, I'm
doctor Dennis Becker, but I'm not a medical doctor, so
folks can't come to me for any of those kinds
of reasons. On the other hand, everything communicates something you
cannot not communicate. So if you want to improve or
(02:17):
strengthen your communications skills and techniques and prowess, the Speech
Improvement Company is the place you want to be. We
are located in Boston, and we're actually the oldest speech
coaching company in the United States. We started this industry.
It's sixty years ago. Now we can imagine that more
than it's been sixty years since this company has been started. Now,
(02:40):
we we're in Boston. We did some local things. Now
we've got coaches and offices around the world and we're
doing very well. And thank you for inviting me to
be on the show to say some of that.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
You used to have those creative window displays, because oh yeah,
the intersection of Washington and be in Brookline, that's where
you used to be located. You're not there, right, are you.
Speaker 3 (03:05):
No, we were there for thirty one years and we
first started there because it was right on the main street,
right on Beacon Street, and most of our clients in
those days were located downtown Boston, so we needed to
be right on the green line, easy to get in
and out for clients to come to our office. And yes,
we had a company a building that we bought that
(03:28):
used to belong to a company that sold and made
furniture and they would advertise their product in this huge
window was about an eight and a half by eleven
and a half foot all glass window, and so they
would advertise their furniture in the window because they had
stuff to sell and it would help people could see
the stuff. Well, when we were at the building, I
(03:50):
thought to myself, how do you sell this stuff? We
don't have stuff like that. So we decided, well, let's
keep the building up anyway, we find something creative. What
we started to do, which we started to make life
size characters, mannequin kind of things and put them in
the window as sort of a joke. Well, over the
(04:10):
years it not only caught on and people were looking
forward to what's the new window this Segi Poova Company's
going to put up, but we began to win some awards,
and we always used a little bit of humor but
had some speech message in the humor with it. So
after thirty one years, what happened technology change, population change,
(04:32):
and most of all, it became easier to deal with
people not having to go into town or them to
come out a long game. Technology and then nowadays, of
course everything is done by zoom and whatever. So we
decided a few years ago, we decided to move the
company out of what became a very high lench district.
(04:54):
Although we owned the building, taxes were incredible in Brookline,
so we moved it out to where most of our
team moved, which was the west of the city. So
now the office is located the home office is located
in framing them.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
Okay, and the more popular figures in your window where
Jake and who would Blues? The Blues Brothers?
Speaker 3 (05:17):
Oh yeah, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, you know, we just
had for some reason, we took a liking to the
movie about the Blues Brothers. And I was on a
trip and where was I the Bahamas? I think I
was doing some work in the Bahamas, and I visited
a sort of a local souvenir type shop. Well, it
(05:42):
turns out they had two LFE size characters mannequins models
of the Blues Brothers, and they were so popular in
our advertising and locally, and they were popular in the
movies and so forth, so we decided to buy them.
We had them sh hripped two day with each one
was about two hundred pounds. We had them shipped to
(06:04):
the office and Bookline put them in the window, and
then we had to think of things that were cute
and speechy like to put around them. Well, they became
so popular of people walking by that we had to
keep them in, keep them in there for a lot
of things that had Halloween Blues Brothers, things, Christmas Blues Brothers.
But I'll tell you one funny quick thing about it.
When we first put them in, When we first put
(06:26):
them in the window, we were in a part of
Bookline that had a very heavy Jewish population and many
of them were Hasidic and they would come to go
to temple. They would pass our office in our window
and they just look in the window all the time.
When we put these Blues Brothers in the window. For
those of you who are listening who can remember what
(06:47):
the Blues Brothers looked like, they were in black suits,
white shirts, black tie, black shoes and socks, wore a hat.
They had that look and some glass Ye all I
time was absolutely so little kids would come by and
(07:07):
look in the window on their noses and fingerprints would
be on the window about four feet from the ground,
and they were asking their daddy's in the bummies, know
why are the rabbis in the window. They had to
explain to the kids that these were not rabbis, right,
And it became they had a couple of folks stopped
in the office and said, could you preach and put
something in their window to explain to I said, well,
(07:29):
we don't really want to do that, but I'm appreciating
that you're explaining it to your kids. And it became
popular for all kinds of reasons.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
Right tell you what, I've got a break to take.
I'm going to invite calls, but I want you to
help me set up a sample. Somebody listening right now,
and it's just an average guy or gal and they
have an office job and they're hoping that they can
(07:59):
kind of move up the lane matter and take a
job within their office that they necessarily feel I'm not
qualified for that job. But you recognize in them equality,
an ability to communicate. Help that person look within themselves
(08:24):
and tell them what they should say in front of
mister big boss. And the phone number here is six one, seven, two, five, four,
ten thirty eight eight, eight, nine, two, nine ten thirty.
Be our demo, Be the person that doctor Becker is
(08:45):
going to help instill confidence in you. And let me
take our break and come back and get started. Six one, seven, two, five, four, ten,
thirty eight, eight, eight, nine, two, nine ten thirty here
on night side Time and temperature eleven sixteen coincidentally sixteen degrees.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
Now back to Dan Ray live from the Window World
Nice SI Studios on WBZ News Radio.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
I think I scared people off. So I'm gonna ask
you right the way Dennis Becker say, from the Speech
Improvement Company, and they will make magic. You will not
recognize yourself after they kind of work on you, giving
you a better perspective on speech, getting rid of those
(09:41):
crutches when in everybody's speech. Maybe how to appear professional
with your look to make a good first impression. So
give me a generic person and then help the generic
person do the right thing.
Speaker 3 (10:02):
Well, I'll tell you the most frequently requested service in
all of our sixty years is virtually the same now
as it was fifty and sixty years ago, Morgan. So
if we talk about the typical person, a generic person,
this has to be one of the qualities that we
get concerned with because we're asked about it all the time,
(10:23):
and it sounds very simple. It sounds like a simple thing,
but it is extremely popular around the world. And I'm
talking about the fear of speaking. Now, let's just delve
into that a little bit. I mean, people are speaking
to each other all the time. But where happens. Why
is it that when you have to talk to in
(10:45):
front of a committee meeting or a town meeting or
heaven STAVEETCHI if you have to give a speech on
the stage or something like that, people all of a
sudden freeze up. They get frightened. What's all? I don't
like public speaking? Public speaking makes it? Okay, stop right there,
let's begin with this. There's no such thing as public speaking. Now,
(11:10):
let me explain what I mean. I mean that every
time you talk, it's public that you're taking your thoughts
out and expressing them, giving them to somebody else. It's
always public. Now, I know what you mean when you
say public robin the stage and you have some slides
and you get a clicker and you got people staring
at you and all that stuff. Yeah, I get it.
(11:32):
I know what people mean when they say that. But
the truth is a lot of that fear comes from
the fear of self humiliation, public humiliation. And if you
can think about the speaking that you do to your family,
to your friends in the areas and times of comfort,
and you know they're not fear of public speaking, it
doesn't bother you. You just mean who you are. Okay.
(11:55):
That's the way you have to approach this thing called
the fear of public speaking. There isn't even a thing.
I hate to even give it an identity. You've got
to remember that you speak all the time and it's
always public when you talk. So that's one of the
first things that we would have to deal with. Where
does that come from? Now? How do we find that out?
We use a technique called the ABC technique. A. You
(12:20):
have to identify what activates your fear. Could be being
on a stage, standing up in front of a group,
if I have lights on me, if I have to
have a microphone. It depends on who's in the room. Oh,
she's here, right, go book. There's a lot of things
that they're going to be people's A. What activates you
A fear? That's the first thing you have to do
(12:41):
is find out that. Then let's skip the B for
a moment and go right to the C, because the
C is the consequence of the A. Once people experience
one of those a's so and so in the room
or whatever it is, the consequence happens. What's that We
all know what that is? A hand shall my voice,
(13:02):
breathing gets difficult, rash breaks out, all kinds of things.
That's the consequence of the AN. So you say, oh,
I know, so if I fix the A, the C
goes away. No, wait a minute, let's go back to
the B for just a second, because how does that
How does that A get to you like that? It's
because of the B in the middle. A for activator,
(13:26):
C for consequence, But the B stand for what is
your belief about that A. Don't jump ahead of me.
I'm not going to go down the path of power
of positive thinking. And if I believe it won't happen. No, no,
that doesn't work. I mean, it's okay, do it. I mean,
positive thinking is not a bad thing, but it's not
going to work. It works for a little one and it
(13:47):
comes back, it comes back. So what we do, Morgan,
that's different, I think from almost everybody that does this
sort of work, is we use what's called a skills approach.
Now there's such things as cognitive restructuring and immersive and
sometimes when people think drugs you know, but no, none
(14:08):
of that. We work on a skills basis. Everything that
you fear, which is one of your a's, we know
how to fix, We know how to take care of it.
We give you techniques to give you exercises to control,
but we may not be able to make them go away,
but we're going to help you control them so that
they don't bother you when you're in those speaking situations.
So that's one of the things that we would have
(14:29):
to approach with folks, because almost everybody is bothered by
an organs. Maybe not you, my friend, but most people.
Speaker 2 (14:38):
I don't know why. And I can go back to
memories from elementary school. I never had the yips, nerves,
the shakes, any of the negative visible afflictions that made
(15:01):
me uncomfortable addressing a bunch of people, whether it was
the kids in the school yard, was in the classroom,
whether it was a church. I was a member of
the choir, so periodically we were required to address other
(15:23):
members of the choir for this, that and the other thing.
But I never had any problems doing that, And when
I began in radio, it was no challenge at least
as far as those fears rearing their ugly head. Yeah, so.
Speaker 3 (15:45):
Well, those kinds of things that you listen't there people
like you who are exist in the world. Bang goodness, However,
you didn't. You didn't take that from the wind, my friend.
That sense of courage, that sense of capability, that didn't
count from the wind. That started with your mother. I'm glad.
(16:13):
There you go. Okay, there you go. All right, So
let's step a little bit into the causes of the fear. Now,
what I told you before about shaking and breathing and ration,
those are the symptoms that we are all familiar with.
They're not the causes. So let me talk a little
bit deeper about that for just a moment, about the causes.
(16:36):
It starts with your mother, and I say that because
it started in the womb. There is truth to the belief,
not the belief. There is truth to the fact that
the condition of the mother during pregnancy has an impact
on the condition of the child inside. This is why,
(16:56):
to be dramatically tragic about it, This is why some
women who are addicted to drugs or alcohol or whatever
substance like that while pregnant, the child often is born
with that drug addiction. The same thing is true about
the other aspects of childhood. You if your mother is
(17:17):
calm and relaxed, or she's nervous enough set all the time,
that's going to be part of the DNA that's going
to come over to you. All right. So now you
get a little bit older, and what are you getting
to you about three years old or four years old?
Oh morgant, Oh look at you so cue, Look how
he walks off bargain. Come here you go, kid, give
you a hunt. All you get for about three years
(17:38):
of your life, that's all you get is it's nice
and yet damn when you get to me about four
years old, you go visit your aunt Dars and uncle John,
and you walk over their coffee table and you can
knock over some statue and it breaks on the floor.
Oh my goodness, Momy comes over Dad. That gives you
(17:59):
a little no. You should see that that very no.
That's the first time that a child begins to fear
and hear the word no. Up until that is all
beautiful and all of a sudden you get no. All right,
let's move ahead a little best pastor here you get
into school. Dare you ever talk out of turn? Mister
(18:21):
White Morgan come over here, you get publicly humilified, humiliated,
maybe get put in the closset. Who knows. School teachers
have a huge impact on those young kids about their
fear of speaking, speaking out a turn again, public humiliation,
watch out.
Speaker 2 (18:39):
Saying something that directly goes to that.
Speaker 3 (18:44):
Go ahead.
Speaker 2 (18:45):
The Boston public schools in the sixties, almost every teacher
male female had a thin bimboo strip I used to
keep on their chocol edge. Was called the rat hand.
And there's some people out there listening. Remember the rat hand.
(19:08):
And you did something out of the realm of acceptability,
you would get the rat hand. You had to hold
out your hand and accept a strike or two or
three or four five, or the teacher would just strike
your legs. If it was a young girl who committed
(19:30):
the faux pas and everybody feared the rat hand, and
you got it once. You did everything you could to
stay the straight and narrow. I got it once, and
I be sure I never got it again.
Speaker 3 (19:49):
M hmmm. That rat haan has grown itself into a
snarky remark from the boss somehow, a criticism from a
coague something that someone else can use against you to
make you feel bad, or even if that's not their intent,
you feel bad. And it's become a very popular trick
(20:13):
for manipulators these days, and we have loads of those.
I just wrote a book about manipulation, and manipulators constantly
use public humiliation, sarcasm, all kinds of things to make
you feel bad about your speaking, the way you communicate
with others. Hen stop you.
Speaker 2 (20:28):
Here, Dennis, because they have a break to take and
that won't go away. So I Am going to take
a break. There'll be a quick hit of news within
the break, and doctor Dennispecker and I will be back
probably three four minutes time. Eleven twenty nine, sixteen degrees.
Speaker 1 (20:48):
You're on Night Side with Dan Ray on WBS, Boston's
news radio.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
Under twenty minutes of show to go, I've got doctor
Dennispecker here from the speech improvement company. It used to
be called a speech improvement center, and he was explaining
how some of the traps we fall into when communicating
speaking get their beginnings back in the womb. And where
(21:20):
do we leave off?
Speaker 3 (21:20):
Dennis, Well, it's a journey, and I don't really want
to bore you or your listeners with all of the detail,
and I'll skip a couple of details and just tell
you this. We left off with kid being influenced by
teachers in school that we know. Then you camp into
junior high school and you get out of those tweeners,
you know, those early teenagers. And what does a teenager?
(21:43):
What does a child want? They want to both fit
in and stand out. Stand out and fit in, so
that means they learned to talk, and they imitate all
their friends and whatever the trend is, they want to
do it. You get to be teenager and in this
high school and so forth. If you go off to
(22:04):
cool college, then your peers begin to have a stronger
effect begins that you feel lonely if you're not in
certain kind of a group and whatnot. So the speech
part of being in a relationship is a very important
part of how you grew into it as an adult.
So we look at it at all ages and from
all different perspectives, and there's always a way. I have
(22:25):
never found a person in the sixty years, we've never
found anyone that we could not help with this. We
know it's absolutely fixable. So don't let it fear you, folks.
Speaker 2 (22:35):
Is it laziness if you have one or two or
three verbal crutches that you fall upon as you're speaking.
And I gave the three major examples. You know, you know,
you know, you know, and like it was like this,
(22:56):
and then it was like that. Boy, don't stop those
before they come over your tongue and out your mouth.
Speaker 3 (23:08):
Well, yes, and though really, if we look at the
more common reasons, one of them is bad habit. Where
you get that. You get that from the folks that
you hang out with. They all talk like that. Here
you go again. You want to fit in, so you
begin to pick up some of the jargon, some of
the language that's being used around. Do you pick it
up that way? And you fit in because you do it?
(23:30):
That's one reason. The second reason, the reason you do
it is because you want to be like someone specific
and maybe it's a movie star or an athlete. You
imitate other people maybe once or twice or three times.
The next thing you know, you're doing it all the time.
It becomes a habit. I can't tell you how many
(23:51):
times we're coaching people and we correct them on one
of those three things and they say, I did no, No,
I didn't say that. You don't even know it. After
a while, it becomes so common as a part of
the way that you speak that you don't even notice this.
So what do you do to fix it? The first
thing you have to do is draw people's awareness to it.
My son used to say right right all the time,
(24:12):
so I had to fix it. He was like, I
just junior high school, I suppose. And he said, well,
then to track me right, and I said, him next
to Joey right, and Joey get the head starts to right.
He said, well, you say right. He didn't know. He
said it, okay. So next time he came home he said,
so I went to the game right, and all the
other guys are going right. And so so every time
(24:34):
he said right, I said wrong the same thing else
I said wrong. So we're going to the game right,
and I said wrong. Yeah, we got in the car
right now, I wrong? He said, what what do you mean? What?
What what do you say? Wrong? What you said right?
I said wrong, I didn't say. I had to get
his attention to it. Once you get that, that almost
(24:55):
breaks what does break the habit. But then to make
it stick, you have to keep that up, folks. So
that's the best way to break it. Otherwise it becomes
part of the culture, it becomes part of the maturity process.
But it doesn't have to be there. You can help
correct it.
Speaker 2 (25:12):
Is there something twenty twenties that is newer as a
crutch or a speech I don't know. I'm looking for
the right word. A misstep with your speech that didn't
exist before that, but because of this error here it is.
(25:38):
It's there and it needs to be corrected.
Speaker 3 (25:42):
Yeah, well, I would say, yes, there is, and it
is twenty twenties. Okay, that's fine. If you go back
into the fifties and sixties, you get another set of
normality language. You go back to the forties and thirties,
you get another whole set and it's changed. Approximately aregent,
which is about twenty years. So twenty twenty is a
(26:03):
new generation. What is new about it. Well, the major
thing that's new about it is technology. Now that has
changed a lot of things because you no longer have
to even talk to somebody, and if you talk with them,
it's almost an abbreviation. We see it all the time.
And of course with writing lol, WTF, all of that,
(26:25):
all of those things are abbreviation. So now when people
talk to each other they actually say those kind of things,
they are actually talking about lol, they'll say it. So
technology and the brevity of technology has put that on.
And then there's a new appreciation allowance, if you will,
for what used to be considered in vulgarity, but not
(26:48):
any longer. People have stopped correcting their kids. Maybe they've
begun using it in their own language in conversation, and
the F word has become very popular, almost non correctible.
Some parents don't want to take it on. Well everybody
did you pretty approval, but you'll be nasty. So language
(27:09):
has got to be corrected at home. Schools have almost
lost control of it. I think the parents have got
to take control of the twenty twenties and the acronyms
and so forth that we hear nowadays. To me, they're unacceptable,
but you've got to correct it at home.
Speaker 2 (27:25):
I agree with that. Let me take a phone call
Phil from Boston. It's called in and I'm assuming still
wants to speak with you, not me, Phil.
Speaker 3 (27:34):
Welcome.
Speaker 4 (27:36):
I came in late and I heard a gentleman say
the term right, all right, and I just want to
share a story with you. Years ago I worked in
the area under the tunnel in East Boston and this
gentle this kid I work at a lowie, nice kid,
tim me ride home. So I said, okay, So now
(27:58):
I got to get them back to these bosses. I said, Louis.
I said, go down the street, take a left. Louis
said right. I said, okay, then Louie and I'll go
down the street and take a second left. He says right.
I stopped the god, I said, Louie, tell me you fail. Yeah.
When I say give you to, don't say right. I
(28:21):
think I said, Kersey, correct this kid, I said, he's
never going.
Speaker 2 (28:25):
To get back.
Speaker 4 (28:26):
He's never going to get back to East Boston. I
mean when so when you said that? Because my English
is the most perfect in the world, but I try,
you know, but I think it's indicative of what's going
on in the world. No one cares. They're all texts.
Speaker 5 (28:41):
I mean, is this crazy man?
Speaker 2 (28:46):
Three students routine waiting to happen?
Speaker 3 (28:51):
Oh god, it's unbelievable.
Speaker 4 (28:57):
He wouldn't go away, he said, would.
Speaker 1 (28:59):
Have been daughter.
Speaker 4 (28:59):
He don't want to go.
Speaker 3 (29:00):
Here my head. You hit it there, you go, talk
about the nail in the wood.
Speaker 2 (29:08):
Right, I do.
Speaker 4 (29:11):
It's not easy.
Speaker 3 (29:13):
It's not easy to keep it up.
Speaker 2 (29:20):
Take care, bye bye. Let's take another call. As a
matter of fact, I know this gentleman. He was on
with me just the other day. Dixie, Welcome tonight's side.
Speaker 5 (29:32):
Hello, Dennis, Hello Morgan, Hello, Hi there.
Speaker 3 (29:35):
Nice to meet you.
Speaker 5 (29:37):
Thanks to you. I'm going to take fifteen seconds to
do one thing before I ask a question. That is
to announce that the Northeastern University women's hockey team have
won their third consecutive bean Pot.
Speaker 3 (29:50):
Oh they won the bean Pot. Hooray. That's great.
Speaker 5 (29:53):
Before thank you for that, thousand people at the garden.
Speaker 3 (29:57):
There you go, fantastic, Thank you for that.
Speaker 5 (30:02):
And my question is when Morgan introduced you, he was
talking about some of the things that are not good
in speech, like and you know, of course come out
first and second probably yes, which is harder for you
to fix.
Speaker 3 (30:21):
Okay, The harder one to fix for me is the
word like for two reasons. First of all, it's the
most popular, so it's accepted. And secondly, most people do
not realize how much they say it. And when you
don't realize how much you do a thing, whether it's speaking,
or the way you walk or whatever, the way you
(30:43):
wear your hair, it's not going to get better unless
you become aware of it. So one of the most
challenging things is to make people aware I didn't say that. Yeah,
I've recorded, play a fact, why they don't even they
can't even remember that they said those things. So they're
the most difficult to correc but they are.
Speaker 5 (31:00):
Correctable because I've I've been in places where younger people,
especially start talking, and that's what they start saying, And
I just roll my eyes because I don't see how
they got I don't see how they got to their
position and still speak like that.
Speaker 3 (31:20):
My wife and I went out to dinner not too
long ago. We had to go into places. We said
in a booth, so she said, on one side, I said,
here's that. Behind us was another booth, and a young
couple came in and they sat down. So I was
back to back with the person in the seat behind
me and look at the menus and people don't seat
behind us. The lady started saying, ye, I couldn't see her,
(31:43):
but I would have asked them if she was in
her twenties or her late teens, but early twenties. And
she sat down. She said, So he came over to
the table, and like I walked, I looked at him,
and like he looked at me, and so I like said, well,
what do you want? And so he looks over at
the table and he said like what she said it
like five times in like ten second. My wife looked
at me. My wife looked at me and she said, Dennis,
(32:04):
we're not working now. She knew, oh, oh awful, that's
the toughest one.
Speaker 5 (32:16):
Well, because I've been on the radio for maybe twenty
years thanks to Morgan and Jordan Rich and other people.
When I when I first came on, I wasn't afraid
because back when I was a teenager, my crazy cousin
had a one watt radio station and he decided we
were going to be on the air.
Speaker 3 (32:33):
So I learned.
Speaker 5 (32:34):
I learned a couple of things to talk distinctly, to
talk slowly and to mouth everything and don't rush it.
Speaker 3 (32:43):
H good. Lessons good.
Speaker 5 (32:46):
And then and then when Morgan and Jordan Rich had
me on their radio, I wasn't I wasn't nervous at
all because I knew.
Speaker 1 (32:53):
What to do.
Speaker 3 (32:54):
That's great, that's great. And one time, all probably ten
years ago, one time we had we were coaching imagine
this memory. We were coaching someone from every radio and
TV station in the city in our company, because, as
the gentlemen just said, speaking distinctly and keeping pacing, keeping
(33:18):
timing is such an incredible, incredible skill in the world
where you guys live. So I appreciate the comment and
I understand it completely.
Speaker 5 (33:27):
Thank you very much for your time, Dixie.
Speaker 3 (33:29):
Thank you, thank you for calling.
Speaker 2 (33:31):
Take care, bye bye. All right, we've got to take
our last break of the hour. If you do want
to call in, I'll do the best I can to
squeeze you in with doctor Dennispecker from the Speech Improvement Company.
Now that I've told you that, I'm going to tell
you this time and temperature eleven forty six sixteen degrees.
Speaker 1 (33:52):
Now back to Dan ray Mine from the Window World
Night Sex Studios.
Speaker 2 (33:56):
On w b Z Radio, Dennis, I should have done
this earlier. Give people your information as far as website,
phone number address. So if somebody listening does want to
get in touch with you and take advantage of your
tutoring them, they need to know how.
Speaker 3 (34:18):
We call it coaching. By the way, tutoring is that well,
you're you're older than I thought you were tutoring from wayback, Morgan.
I'm sorry coaching.
Speaker 2 (34:28):
I was at of yours.
Speaker 3 (34:31):
But you know something I want to tell you something.
I've coached in presidential elections and leaders of countries and companies.
You I put you as one of my success stories.
You never gave up. You're always popular with folks. They
loved the heck out of you. You're very smart, you're
very patient, You're quite articulate. So I'm proud to say
(34:51):
that you were you are a student of man. But
at any rate, not for that, Okay, that's true. Listen.
You can reach me folks at speech improvement dot com.
That's the name of our company, speech improvement dot com.
And if you type type that in somewhere, you'll see
all kinds of things on our website. Everything's for free.
(35:12):
We have videos and blogs, and we do a podcast
every week and it's just all kinds of things that
you'll find there, and it's all for free Speech Improvement
dot Com. If you want to call easy enough from
whoever you are, we're in Boston that area code six
one seven six one seven seven three nine thirty three
(35:34):
thirty six one seven seven three nine three three three
zero and they can put you wherever you go there
you will find me. And if you want to write
to me directly, it's just Dennis at Speech Improvement dot Com.
Very easy be happy to help you with anything.
Speaker 2 (35:51):
You mentioned that you do this all over the world.
Speaker 3 (35:55):
Exrect me.
Speaker 2 (35:56):
What about countries that don't here to the same rules
we do in the United States? What about countries that
don't allow women, yeah, to participate in communicating to the masses.
Speaker 3 (36:14):
You know, it's funny you should ask that. It's one
of the things I'm most proud of with our company.
Back to tell you quickly, back when nine to eleven happened,
I happened to have a client in the UAE, and
in the UAE, one or more of the bombers were
in that in that plane. Anyway, I kept going there
(36:35):
to see my clients. But we had a shutdown of
all kinds. You couldn't travel anywhere. Nobody trusted anybody, and
people wanted to know I had I was working for
the government of Ua email less. Why do you go there?
Why do you have those guys think boys, well two
or three bad guys from there about them? Yeah, but
you shouldn't go there and help them. You shouldn't be that.
Why are you doing that? At a simple answer then,
(36:56):
and I had the same and more clients in UAE
and other countries. Now my answer is still the same
as it was then, and the answer is I go
there because at this moment, the tone between our two
countries is that the picture is not on television picture
a fist. That's what exists in terms of communication there. Now,
(37:19):
Why am I going Because I want to change that
to this and I put it to a handshake. I
want to change that fist to a handshake, and you
can do it through communication. Now that was years ago.
I'm still there anyway. I'm very proud of the relationships
that we have with other folks because we believe that
(37:40):
communication is essential to everybody getting along with everybody else,
whether it's in your country or between countries. So we're very,
very proud of the coverage we have with this company.
Speaker 2 (37:53):
Of the various countries that you are in. Can you
give me an extreme example. Well, the protocol is vastly
different than what we have here in the United States.
Speaker 3 (38:06):
Yeah, I'll give you a quick short one. This was
in Kazakhstan and one of my coaches was over there. No, no,
she wasn't over there. She was dealing with a shaikh
I forget his name, it doesn't matter, I should probably
say it anyway, but he would come to the US
every two or three times a year to do business
here in Kazakhstan, and he always had the same coach
(38:31):
and she was lovely and he loved her and they
did great together. And about a year and a half
after into the relationship, I get a phone call from
his lawyer and he says, I want to talk to
you on behalf of the Shaikhah. Thought, oh, what happened,
and he said, no, no, no, He said, the shaikha
really loves the work that she's doing. He would like
to have her come to Kazakhstan and do the coaching.
I said, well, I'll have to ask her, because she's
(38:52):
got family. I don't know she can travel that far,
and he said, well, it only be to Kazakhstand and
we'll take care of everything that costs the blah blahah.
And as the conversation went along, he thought it was
money right was objecting, So he said, well, let's make
it one hundred thousand dollars. I said, oh no, no,
it' stop that. He thought. I immediately thought I was objecting. Okay,
(39:14):
well two hundred thousand. He cut up to three hundred thousand,
and I said, wait a minute, why are you so eager?
He said, well, sure, of course, will belong to the
shape and she will live here, her children will come.
And I said, what she wanted to buy her? That
was the cultural nom he wanted to buy her. And
(39:34):
so we deal occasionally. And that was a little bit severe,
but we have dealt with things from that all along
the line. So you meet it and you just understand
the culture and turned the fist into a handshake and
everything works out.
Speaker 2 (39:47):
And where do you see your company going in another
ten years?
Speaker 3 (39:52):
Well, we're sixty years now, we're hoping another sixty years.
Why not? Communication is still important to human beings in
the relations shifts that we have. Of course, we have
to now learn how to communicate. We have to learn
how to communicate on zoom. What the heck skite back
in those days. So now the methods of communication and
the characteristics and the necessities of knowing how to communicate
(40:15):
in that way is where we are. We have already
conquered virtual reality, and we use that for different kinds
of things. Virtual reality. We're teaching people how to use
the phone, their own phones, which is not going to
go away, how to use the phone to help them
improve their speech. We have an app that we use.
So there's all kinds of things that are changing in society,
(40:37):
but people don't change the necessity for being able to
communicate with one another. It's a spouse or a child,
or a neighbor or a business, another countryman, another country
that remains the same. Human beings are going to be
the same, and so we'll be here to treat them
for the next sixty years.
Speaker 2 (40:53):
I know, Dennis, I wish you great luck in the future.
Sounds like you don't need it, say it anyway, and
we will get together again, I promise, I hope.
Speaker 3 (41:06):
So Morey, You've always been one of my favorite people,
and I so admire the work that you do, not
only here, but the work that you do outside. So
I'm proud to call you a friend, and I thank
you for having me on this evening.
Speaker 2 (41:17):
I feel the same way, and I'll be in touch
you take care.
Speaker 3 (41:20):
Now, all right, thanks, bye bye, all right.
Speaker 2 (41:24):
I want to thank doctor David Nathan who was on
first tonight, Beer Dave who set phone records people calling in,
dB Cooper, and Dennis Becker Rob Brooks, Thank you, sir.
You do an excellent job when I come in to
fill in for Dan Ray and I always look forward
to working with you. Nancy sitting next to me, and
(41:48):
Gray where is he? He's in here somewhere, Thanks to
the two of you, whether you listen tonight and called
or just listened, I thank all of you. Now the
two words I really hate to say. It means the end.
By Boston
It's Dan Ray Unbeling Mazy Boston's news.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
Radio Last hour, to be specific, last fifty two plus
minutes of Nightside. And this gentleman I met way back
somewhere between sixty seven and seventy one, nineteen sixty seven
nineteen seventy one. He was a teacher at Brookline High.
(00:26):
Those days are far far in his rearview mirror. And
he has a company called the Speech Improvement Company, used
to be the Speech Improvement Center. And what they do
over there is get rid of all of the verbal
(00:48):
crutches that you have in your way of communicating. You know,
you know, you know, you know, you know, I'm I'm
like like like like like like. There are three examples
right there. And if you have an interview coming up
(01:11):
and you want to make sure that you put your
best foot forward, this is the man who can help you.
So Dennis, Dennis Becker, welcome Tonight's.
Speaker 3 (01:29):
You always lie to your listeners like that? My goodness,
yes I do. Oh good well, we'rend a good company.
The old the guy I used to know for sure.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
Thank you and tell people let me back up, advertise yourself,
let people know if they come to see you, what
you can do for them.
Speaker 3 (01:53):
Oh my goodness. Well, it kind of depends on the
reason for which they come to me. I mean, I'm
doctor Dennis Becker, but I'm not a medical doctor, so
folks can't come to me for any of those kinds
of reasons. On the other hand, everything communicates something you
cannot not communicate. So if you want to improve or
(02:17):
strengthen your communications skills and techniques and prowess, the Speech
Improvement Company is the place you want to be. We
are located in Boston, and we're actually the oldest speech
coaching company in the United States. We started this industry.
It's sixty years ago. Now we can imagine that more
than it's been sixty years since this company has been started. Now,
(02:40):
we we're in Boston. We did some local things. Now
we've got coaches and offices around the world and we're
doing very well. And thank you for inviting me to
be on the show to say some of that.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
You used to have those creative window displays, because oh yeah,
the intersection of Washington and be in Brookline, that's where
you used to be located. You're not there, right, are you.
Speaker 3 (03:05):
No, we were there for thirty one years and we
first started there because it was right on the main street,
right on Beacon Street, and most of our clients in
those days were located downtown Boston, so we needed to
be right on the green line, easy to get in
and out for clients to come to our office. And yes,
we had a company a building that we bought that
(03:28):
used to belong to a company that sold and made
furniture and they would advertise their product in this huge
window was about an eight and a half by eleven
and a half foot all glass window, and so they
would advertise their furniture in the window because they had
stuff to sell and it would help people could see
the stuff. Well, when we were at the building, I
(03:50):
thought to myself, how do you sell this stuff? We
don't have stuff like that. So we decided, well, let's
keep the building up anyway, we find something creative. What
we started to do, which we started to make life
size characters, mannequin kind of things and put them in
the window as sort of a joke. Well, over the
(04:10):
years it not only caught on and people were looking
forward to what's the new window this Segi Poova Company's
going to put up, but we began to win some awards,
and we always used a little bit of humor but
had some speech message in the humor with it. So
after thirty one years, what happened technology change, population change,
(04:32):
and most of all, it became easier to deal with
people not having to go into town or them to
come out a long game. Technology and then nowadays, of
course everything is done by zoom and whatever. So we
decided a few years ago, we decided to move the
company out of what became a very high lench district.
(04:54):
Although we owned the building, taxes were incredible in Brookline,
so we moved it out to where most of our
team moved, which was the west of the city. So
now the office is located the home office is located
in framing them.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
Okay, and the more popular figures in your window where
Jake and who would Blues? The Blues Brothers?
Speaker 3 (05:17):
Oh yeah, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, you know, we just
had for some reason, we took a liking to the
movie about the Blues Brothers. And I was on a
trip and where was I the Bahamas? I think I
was doing some work in the Bahamas, and I visited
a sort of a local souvenir type shop. Well, it
(05:42):
turns out they had two LFE size characters mannequins models
of the Blues Brothers, and they were so popular in
our advertising and locally, and they were popular in the
movies and so forth, so we decided to buy them.
We had them sh hripped two day with each one
was about two hundred pounds. We had them shipped to
(06:04):
the office and Bookline put them in the window, and
then we had to think of things that were cute
and speechy like to put around them. Well, they became
so popular of people walking by that we had to
keep them in, keep them in there for a lot
of things that had Halloween Blues Brothers, things, Christmas Blues Brothers.
But I'll tell you one funny quick thing about it.
When we first put them in, When we first put
(06:26):
them in the window, we were in a part of
Bookline that had a very heavy Jewish population and many
of them were Hasidic and they would come to go
to temple. They would pass our office in our window
and they just look in the window all the time.
When we put these Blues Brothers in the window. For
those of you who are listening who can remember what
(06:47):
the Blues Brothers looked like, they were in black suits,
white shirts, black tie, black shoes and socks, wore a hat.
They had that look and some glass Ye all I
time was absolutely so little kids would come by and
(07:07):
look in the window on their noses and fingerprints would
be on the window about four feet from the ground,
and they were asking their daddy's in the bummies, know
why are the rabbis in the window. They had to
explain to the kids that these were not rabbis, right,
And it became they had a couple of folks stopped
in the office and said, could you preach and put
something in their window to explain to I said, well,
(07:29):
we don't really want to do that, but I'm appreciating
that you're explaining it to your kids. And it became
popular for all kinds of reasons.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
Right tell you what, I've got a break to take.
I'm going to invite calls, but I want you to
help me set up a sample. Somebody listening right now,
and it's just an average guy or gal and they
have an office job and they're hoping that they can
(07:59):
kind of move up the lane matter and take a
job within their office that they necessarily feel I'm not
qualified for that job. But you recognize in them equality,
an ability to communicate. Help that person look within themselves
(08:24):
and tell them what they should say in front of
mister big boss. And the phone number here is six one, seven, two, five, four,
ten thirty eight eight, eight, nine, two, nine ten thirty.
Be our demo, Be the person that doctor Becker is
(08:45):
going to help instill confidence in you. And let me
take our break and come back and get started. Six one, seven, two, five, four, ten,
thirty eight, eight, eight, nine, two, nine ten thirty here
on night side Time and temperature eleven sixteen coincidentally sixteen degrees.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
Now back to Dan Ray live from the Window World
Nice SI Studios on WBZ News Radio.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
I think I scared people off. So I'm gonna ask
you right the way Dennis Becker say, from the Speech
Improvement Company, and they will make magic. You will not
recognize yourself after they kind of work on you, giving
you a better perspective on speech, getting rid of those
(09:41):
crutches when in everybody's speech. Maybe how to appear professional
with your look to make a good first impression. So
give me a generic person and then help the generic
person do the right thing.
Speaker 3 (10:02):
Well, I'll tell you the most frequently requested service in
all of our sixty years is virtually the same now
as it was fifty and sixty years ago, Morgan. So
if we talk about the typical person, a generic person,
this has to be one of the qualities that we
get concerned with because we're asked about it all the time,
(10:23):
and it sounds very simple. It sounds like a simple thing,
but it is extremely popular around the world. And I'm
talking about the fear of speaking. Now, let's just delve
into that a little bit. I mean, people are speaking
to each other all the time. But where happens. Why
is it that when you have to talk to in
(10:45):
front of a committee meeting or a town meeting or
heaven STAVEETCHI if you have to give a speech on
the stage or something like that, people all of a
sudden freeze up. They get frightened. What's all? I don't
like public speaking? Public speaking makes it? Okay, stop right there,
let's begin with this. There's no such thing as public speaking. Now,
(11:10):
let me explain what I mean. I mean that every
time you talk, it's public that you're taking your thoughts
out and expressing them, giving them to somebody else. It's
always public. Now, I know what you mean when you
say public robin the stage and you have some slides
and you get a clicker and you got people staring
at you and all that stuff. Yeah, I get it.
(11:32):
I know what people mean when they say that. But
the truth is a lot of that fear comes from
the fear of self humiliation, public humiliation. And if you
can think about the speaking that you do to your family,
to your friends in the areas and times of comfort,
and you know they're not fear of public speaking, it
doesn't bother you. You just mean who you are. Okay.
(11:55):
That's the way you have to approach this thing called
the fear of public speaking. There isn't even a thing.
I hate to even give it an identity. You've got
to remember that you speak all the time and it's
always public when you talk. So that's one of the
first things that we would have to deal with. Where
does that come from? Now? How do we find that out?
We use a technique called the ABC technique. A. You
(12:20):
have to identify what activates your fear. Could be being
on a stage, standing up in front of a group,
if I have lights on me, if I have to
have a microphone. It depends on who's in the room. Oh,
she's here, right, go book. There's a lot of things
that they're going to be people's A. What activates you
A fear? That's the first thing you have to do
(12:41):
is find out that. Then let's skip the B for
a moment and go right to the C, because the
C is the consequence of the A. Once people experience
one of those a's so and so in the room
or whatever it is, the consequence happens. What's that We
all know what that is? A hand shall my voice,
(13:02):
breathing gets difficult, rash breaks out, all kinds of things.
That's the consequence of the AN. So you say, oh,
I know, so if I fix the A, the C
goes away. No, wait a minute, let's go back to
the B for just a second, because how does that
How does that A get to you like that? It's
because of the B in the middle. A for activator,
(13:26):
C for consequence, But the B stand for what is
your belief about that A. Don't jump ahead of me.
I'm not going to go down the path of power
of positive thinking. And if I believe it won't happen. No, no,
that doesn't work. I mean, it's okay, do it. I mean,
positive thinking is not a bad thing, but it's not
going to work. It works for a little one and it
(13:47):
comes back, it comes back. So what we do, Morgan,
that's different, I think from almost everybody that does this
sort of work, is we use what's called a skills approach.
Now there's such things as cognitive restructuring and immersive and
sometimes when people think drugs you know, but no, none
(14:08):
of that. We work on a skills basis. Everything that
you fear, which is one of your a's, we know
how to fix, We know how to take care of it.
We give you techniques to give you exercises to control,
but we may not be able to make them go away,
but we're going to help you control them so that
they don't bother you when you're in those speaking situations.
So that's one of the things that we would have
(14:29):
to approach with folks, because almost everybody is bothered by
an organs. Maybe not you, my friend, but most people.
Speaker 2 (14:38):
I don't know why. And I can go back to
memories from elementary school. I never had the yips, nerves,
the shakes, any of the negative visible afflictions that made
(15:01):
me uncomfortable addressing a bunch of people, whether it was
the kids in the school yard, was in the classroom,
whether it was a church. I was a member of
the choir, so periodically we were required to address other
(15:23):
members of the choir for this, that and the other thing.
But I never had any problems doing that, And when
I began in radio, it was no challenge at least
as far as those fears rearing their ugly head. Yeah, so.
Speaker 3 (15:45):
Well, those kinds of things that you listen't there people
like you who are exist in the world. Bang goodness, However,
you didn't. You didn't take that from the wind, my friend.
That sense of courage, that sense of capability, that didn't
count from the wind. That started with your mother. I'm glad.
(16:13):
There you go. Okay, there you go. All right, So
let's step a little bit into the causes of the fear. Now,
what I told you before about shaking and breathing and ration,
those are the symptoms that we are all familiar with.
They're not the causes. So let me talk a little
bit deeper about that for just a moment, about the causes.
(16:36):
It starts with your mother, and I say that because
it started in the womb. There is truth to the belief,
not the belief. There is truth to the fact that
the condition of the mother during pregnancy has an impact
on the condition of the child inside. This is why,
(16:56):
to be dramatically tragic about it, This is why some
women who are addicted to drugs or alcohol or whatever
substance like that while pregnant, the child often is born
with that drug addiction. The same thing is true about
the other aspects of childhood. You if your mother is
(17:17):
calm and relaxed, or she's nervous enough set all the time,
that's going to be part of the DNA that's going
to come over to you. All right. So now you
get a little bit older, and what are you getting
to you about three years old or four years old?
Oh morgant, Oh look at you so cue, Look how
he walks off bargain. Come here you go, kid, give
you a hunt. All you get for about three years
(17:38):
of your life, that's all you get is it's nice
and yet damn when you get to me about four
years old, you go visit your aunt Dars and uncle John,
and you walk over their coffee table and you can
knock over some statue and it breaks on the floor.
Oh my goodness, Momy comes over Dad. That gives you
(17:59):
a little no. You should see that that very no.
That's the first time that a child begins to fear
and hear the word no. Up until that is all
beautiful and all of a sudden you get no. All right,
let's move ahead a little best pastor here you get
into school. Dare you ever talk out of turn? Mister
(18:21):
White Morgan come over here, you get publicly humilified, humiliated,
maybe get put in the closset. Who knows. School teachers
have a huge impact on those young kids about their
fear of speaking, speaking out a turn again, public humiliation,
watch out.
Speaker 2 (18:39):
Saying something that directly goes to that.
Speaker 3 (18:44):
Go ahead.
Speaker 2 (18:45):
The Boston public schools in the sixties, almost every teacher
male female had a thin bimboo strip I used to
keep on their chocol edge. Was called the rat hand.
And there's some people out there listening. Remember the rat hand.
(19:08):
And you did something out of the realm of acceptability,
you would get the rat hand. You had to hold
out your hand and accept a strike or two or
three or four five, or the teacher would just strike
your legs. If it was a young girl who committed
(19:30):
the faux pas and everybody feared the rat hand, and
you got it once. You did everything you could to
stay the straight and narrow. I got it once, and
I be sure I never got it again.
Speaker 3 (19:49):
M hmmm. That rat haan has grown itself into a
snarky remark from the boss somehow, a criticism from a
coague something that someone else can use against you to
make you feel bad, or even if that's not their intent,
you feel bad. And it's become a very popular trick
(20:13):
for manipulators these days, and we have loads of those.
I just wrote a book about manipulation, and manipulators constantly
use public humiliation, sarcasm, all kinds of things to make
you feel bad about your speaking, the way you communicate
with others. Hen stop you.
Speaker 2 (20:28):
Here, Dennis, because they have a break to take and
that won't go away. So I Am going to take
a break. There'll be a quick hit of news within
the break, and doctor Dennispecker and I will be back
probably three four minutes time. Eleven twenty nine, sixteen degrees.
Speaker 1 (20:48):
You're on Night Side with Dan Ray on WBS, Boston's
news radio.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
Under twenty minutes of show to go, I've got doctor
Dennispecker here from the speech improvement company. It used to
be called a speech improvement center, and he was explaining
how some of the traps we fall into when communicating
speaking get their beginnings back in the womb. And where
(21:20):
do we leave off?
Speaker 3 (21:20):
Dennis, Well, it's a journey, and I don't really want
to bore you or your listeners with all of the detail,
and I'll skip a couple of details and just tell
you this. We left off with kid being influenced by
teachers in school that we know. Then you camp into
junior high school and you get out of those tweeners,
you know, those early teenagers. And what does a teenager?
(21:43):
What does a child want? They want to both fit
in and stand out. Stand out and fit in, so
that means they learned to talk, and they imitate all
their friends and whatever the trend is, they want to
do it. You get to be teenager and in this
high school and so forth. If you go off to
(22:04):
cool college, then your peers begin to have a stronger
effect begins that you feel lonely if you're not in
certain kind of a group and whatnot. So the speech
part of being in a relationship is a very important
part of how you grew into it as an adult.
So we look at it at all ages and from
all different perspectives, and there's always a way. I have
(22:25):
never found a person in the sixty years, we've never
found anyone that we could not help with this. We
know it's absolutely fixable. So don't let it fear you, folks.
Speaker 2 (22:35):
Is it laziness if you have one or two or
three verbal crutches that you fall upon as you're speaking.
And I gave the three major examples. You know, you know,
you know, you know, and like it was like this,
(22:56):
and then it was like that. Boy, don't stop those
before they come over your tongue and out your mouth.
Speaker 3 (23:08):
Well, yes, and though really, if we look at the
more common reasons, one of them is bad habit. Where
you get that. You get that from the folks that
you hang out with. They all talk like that. Here
you go again. You want to fit in, so you
begin to pick up some of the jargon, some of
the language that's being used around. Do you pick it
up that way? And you fit in because you do it?
(23:30):
That's one reason. The second reason, the reason you do
it is because you want to be like someone specific
and maybe it's a movie star or an athlete. You
imitate other people maybe once or twice or three times.
The next thing you know, you're doing it all the time.
It becomes a habit. I can't tell you how many
(23:51):
times we're coaching people and we correct them on one
of those three things and they say, I did no, No,
I didn't say that. You don't even know it. After
a while, it becomes so common as a part of
the way that you speak that you don't even notice this.
So what do you do to fix it? The first
thing you have to do is draw people's awareness to it.
My son used to say right right all the time,
(24:12):
so I had to fix it. He was like, I
just junior high school, I suppose. And he said, well,
then to track me right, and I said, him next
to Joey right, and Joey get the head starts to right.
He said, well, you say right. He didn't know. He
said it, okay. So next time he came home he said,
so I went to the game right, and all the
other guys are going right. And so so every time
(24:34):
he said right, I said wrong the same thing else
I said wrong. So we're going to the game right,
and I said wrong. Yeah, we got in the car
right now, I wrong? He said, what what do you mean? What?
What what do you say? Wrong? What you said right?
I said wrong, I didn't say. I had to get
his attention to it. Once you get that, that almost
(24:55):
breaks what does break the habit. But then to make
it stick, you have to keep that up, folks. So
that's the best way to break it. Otherwise it becomes
part of the culture, it becomes part of the maturity process.
But it doesn't have to be there. You can help
correct it.
Speaker 2 (25:12):
Is there something twenty twenties that is newer as a
crutch or a speech I don't know. I'm looking for
the right word. A misstep with your speech that didn't
exist before that, but because of this error here it is.
(25:38):
It's there and it needs to be corrected.
Speaker 3 (25:42):
Yeah, well, I would say, yes, there is, and it
is twenty twenties. Okay, that's fine. If you go back
into the fifties and sixties, you get another set of
normality language. You go back to the forties and thirties,
you get another whole set and it's changed. Approximately aregent,
which is about twenty years. So twenty twenty is a
(26:03):
new generation. What is new about it. Well, the major
thing that's new about it is technology. Now that has
changed a lot of things because you no longer have
to even talk to somebody, and if you talk with them,
it's almost an abbreviation. We see it all the time.
And of course with writing lol, WTF, all of that,
(26:25):
all of those things are abbreviation. So now when people
talk to each other they actually say those kind of things,
they are actually talking about lol, they'll say it. So
technology and the brevity of technology has put that on.
And then there's a new appreciation allowance, if you will,
for what used to be considered in vulgarity, but not
(26:48):
any longer. People have stopped correcting their kids. Maybe they've
begun using it in their own language in conversation, and
the F word has become very popular, almost non correctible.
Some parents don't want to take it on. Well everybody
did you pretty approval, but you'll be nasty. So language
(27:09):
has got to be corrected at home. Schools have almost
lost control of it. I think the parents have got
to take control of the twenty twenties and the acronyms
and so forth that we hear nowadays. To me, they're unacceptable,
but you've got to correct it at home.
Speaker 2 (27:25):
I agree with that. Let me take a phone call
Phil from Boston. It's called in and I'm assuming still
wants to speak with you, not me, Phil.
Speaker 3 (27:34):
Welcome.
Speaker 4 (27:36):
I came in late and I heard a gentleman say
the term right, all right, and I just want to
share a story with you. Years ago I worked in
the area under the tunnel in East Boston and this
gentle this kid I work at a lowie, nice kid,
tim me ride home. So I said, okay, So now
(27:58):
I got to get them back to these bosses. I said, Louis.
I said, go down the street, take a left. Louis
said right. I said, okay, then Louie and I'll go
down the street and take a second left. He says right.
I stopped the god, I said, Louie, tell me you fail. Yeah.
When I say give you to, don't say right. I
(28:21):
think I said, Kersey, correct this kid, I said, he's
never going.
Speaker 2 (28:25):
To get back.
Speaker 4 (28:26):
He's never going to get back to East Boston. I
mean when so when you said that? Because my English
is the most perfect in the world, but I try,
you know, but I think it's indicative of what's going
on in the world. No one cares. They're all texts.
Speaker 5 (28:41):
I mean, is this crazy man?
Speaker 2 (28:46):
Three students routine waiting to happen?
Speaker 3 (28:51):
Oh god, it's unbelievable.
Speaker 4 (28:57):
He wouldn't go away, he said, would.
Speaker 1 (28:59):
Have been daughter.
Speaker 4 (28:59):
He don't want to go.
Speaker 3 (29:00):
Here my head. You hit it there, you go, talk
about the nail in the wood.
Speaker 2 (29:08):
Right, I do.
Speaker 4 (29:11):
It's not easy.
Speaker 3 (29:13):
It's not easy to keep it up.
Speaker 2 (29:20):
Take care, bye bye. Let's take another call. As a
matter of fact, I know this gentleman. He was on
with me just the other day. Dixie, Welcome tonight's side.
Speaker 5 (29:32):
Hello, Dennis, Hello Morgan, Hello, Hi there.
Speaker 3 (29:35):
Nice to meet you.
Speaker 5 (29:37):
Thanks to you. I'm going to take fifteen seconds to
do one thing before I ask a question. That is
to announce that the Northeastern University women's hockey team have
won their third consecutive bean Pot.
Speaker 3 (29:50):
Oh they won the bean Pot. Hooray. That's great.
Speaker 5 (29:53):
Before thank you for that, thousand people at the garden.
Speaker 3 (29:57):
There you go, fantastic, Thank you for that.
Speaker 5 (30:02):
And my question is when Morgan introduced you, he was
talking about some of the things that are not good
in speech, like and you know, of course come out
first and second probably yes, which is harder for you
to fix.
Speaker 3 (30:21):
Okay, The harder one to fix for me is the
word like for two reasons. First of all, it's the
most popular, so it's accepted. And secondly, most people do
not realize how much they say it. And when you
don't realize how much you do a thing, whether it's speaking,
or the way you walk or whatever, the way you
(30:43):
wear your hair, it's not going to get better unless
you become aware of it. So one of the most
challenging things is to make people aware I didn't say that. Yeah,
I've recorded, play a fact, why they don't even they
can't even remember that they said those things. So they're
the most difficult to correc but they are.
Speaker 5 (31:00):
Correctable because I've I've been in places where younger people,
especially start talking, and that's what they start saying, And
I just roll my eyes because I don't see how
they got I don't see how they got to their
position and still speak like that.
Speaker 3 (31:20):
My wife and I went out to dinner not too
long ago. We had to go into places. We said
in a booth, so she said, on one side, I said,
here's that. Behind us was another booth, and a young
couple came in and they sat down. So I was
back to back with the person in the seat behind
me and look at the menus and people don't seat
behind us. The lady started saying, ye, I couldn't see her,
(31:43):
but I would have asked them if she was in
her twenties or her late teens, but early twenties. And
she sat down. She said, So he came over to
the table, and like I walked, I looked at him,
and like he looked at me, and so I like said, well,
what do you want? And so he looks over at
the table and he said like what she said it
like five times in like ten second. My wife looked
at me. My wife looked at me and she said, Dennis,
(32:04):
we're not working now. She knew, oh, oh awful, that's
the toughest one.
Speaker 5 (32:16):
Well, because I've been on the radio for maybe twenty
years thanks to Morgan and Jordan Rich and other people.
When I when I first came on, I wasn't afraid
because back when I was a teenager, my crazy cousin
had a one watt radio station and he decided we
were going to be on the air.
Speaker 3 (32:33):
So I learned.
Speaker 5 (32:34):
I learned a couple of things to talk distinctly, to
talk slowly and to mouth everything and don't rush it.
Speaker 3 (32:43):
H good. Lessons good.
Speaker 5 (32:46):
And then and then when Morgan and Jordan Rich had
me on their radio, I wasn't I wasn't nervous at
all because I knew.
Speaker 1 (32:53):
What to do.
Speaker 3 (32:54):
That's great, that's great. And one time, all probably ten
years ago, one time we had we were coaching imagine
this memory. We were coaching someone from every radio and
TV station in the city in our company, because, as
the gentlemen just said, speaking distinctly and keeping pacing, keeping
(33:18):
timing is such an incredible, incredible skill in the world
where you guys live. So I appreciate the comment and
I understand it completely.
Speaker 5 (33:27):
Thank you very much for your time, Dixie.
Speaker 3 (33:29):
Thank you, thank you for calling.
Speaker 2 (33:31):
Take care, bye bye. All right, we've got to take
our last break of the hour. If you do want
to call in, I'll do the best I can to
squeeze you in with doctor Dennispecker from the Speech Improvement Company.
Now that I've told you that, I'm going to tell
you this time and temperature eleven forty six sixteen degrees.
Speaker 1 (33:52):
Now back to Dan ray Mine from the Window World
Night Sex Studios.
Speaker 2 (33:56):
On w b Z Radio, Dennis, I should have done
this earlier. Give people your information as far as website,
phone number address. So if somebody listening does want to
get in touch with you and take advantage of your
tutoring them, they need to know how.
Speaker 3 (34:18):
We call it coaching. By the way, tutoring is that well,
you're you're older than I thought you were tutoring from wayback, Morgan.
I'm sorry coaching.
Speaker 2 (34:28):
I was at of yours.
Speaker 3 (34:31):
But you know something I want to tell you something.
I've coached in presidential elections and leaders of countries and companies.
You I put you as one of my success stories.
You never gave up. You're always popular with folks. They
loved the heck out of you. You're very smart, you're
very patient, You're quite articulate. So I'm proud to say
(34:51):
that you were you are a student of man. But
at any rate, not for that, Okay, that's true. Listen.
You can reach me folks at speech improvement dot com.
That's the name of our company, speech improvement dot com.
And if you type type that in somewhere, you'll see
all kinds of things on our website. Everything's for free.
(35:12):
We have videos and blogs, and we do a podcast
every week and it's just all kinds of things that
you'll find there, and it's all for free Speech Improvement
dot Com. If you want to call easy enough from
whoever you are, we're in Boston that area code six
one seven six one seven seven three nine thirty three
(35:34):
thirty six one seven seven three nine three three three
zero and they can put you wherever you go there
you will find me. And if you want to write
to me directly, it's just Dennis at Speech Improvement dot Com.
Very easy be happy to help you with anything.
Speaker 2 (35:51):
You mentioned that you do this all over the world.
Speaker 3 (35:55):
Exrect me.
Speaker 2 (35:56):
What about countries that don't here to the same rules
we do in the United States? What about countries that
don't allow women, yeah, to participate in communicating to the masses.
Speaker 3 (36:14):
You know, it's funny you should ask that. It's one
of the things I'm most proud of with our company.
Back to tell you quickly, back when nine to eleven happened,
I happened to have a client in the UAE, and
in the UAE, one or more of the bombers were
in that in that plane. Anyway, I kept going there
(36:35):
to see my clients. But we had a shutdown of
all kinds. You couldn't travel anywhere. Nobody trusted anybody, and
people wanted to know I had I was working for
the government of Ua email less. Why do you go there?
Why do you have those guys think boys, well two
or three bad guys from there about them? Yeah, but
you shouldn't go there and help them. You shouldn't be that.
Why are you doing that? At a simple answer then,
(36:56):
and I had the same and more clients in UAE
and other countries. Now my answer is still the same
as it was then, and the answer is I go
there because at this moment, the tone between our two
countries is that the picture is not on television picture
a fist. That's what exists in terms of communication there. Now,
(37:19):
Why am I going Because I want to change that
to this and I put it to a handshake. I
want to change that fist to a handshake, and you
can do it through communication. Now that was years ago.
I'm still there anyway. I'm very proud of the relationships
that we have with other folks because we believe that
(37:40):
communication is essential to everybody getting along with everybody else,
whether it's in your country or between countries. So we're very,
very proud of the coverage we have with this company.
Speaker 2 (37:53):
Of the various countries that you are in. Can you
give me an extreme example. Well, the protocol is vastly
different than what we have here in the United States.
Speaker 3 (38:06):
Yeah, I'll give you a quick short one. This was
in Kazakhstan and one of my coaches was over there. No, no,
she wasn't over there. She was dealing with a shaikh
I forget his name, it doesn't matter, I should probably
say it anyway, but he would come to the US
every two or three times a year to do business
here in Kazakhstan, and he always had the same coach
(38:31):
and she was lovely and he loved her and they
did great together. And about a year and a half
after into the relationship, I get a phone call from
his lawyer and he says, I want to talk to
you on behalf of the Shaikhah. Thought, oh, what happened,
and he said, no, no, no, He said, the shaikha
really loves the work that she's doing. He would like
to have her come to Kazakhstan and do the coaching.
I said, well, I'll have to ask her, because she's
(38:52):
got family. I don't know she can travel that far,
and he said, well, it only be to Kazakhstand and
we'll take care of everything that costs the blah blahah.
And as the conversation went along, he thought it was
money right was objecting, So he said, well, let's make
it one hundred thousand dollars. I said, oh no, no,
it' stop that. He thought. I immediately thought I was objecting. Okay,
(39:14):
well two hundred thousand. He cut up to three hundred thousand,
and I said, wait a minute, why are you so eager?
He said, well, sure, of course, will belong to the
shape and she will live here, her children will come.
And I said, what she wanted to buy her? That
was the cultural nom he wanted to buy her. And
(39:34):
so we deal occasionally. And that was a little bit severe,
but we have dealt with things from that all along
the line. So you meet it and you just understand
the culture and turned the fist into a handshake and
everything works out.
Speaker 2 (39:47):
And where do you see your company going in another
ten years?
Speaker 3 (39:52):
Well, we're sixty years now, we're hoping another sixty years.
Why not? Communication is still important to human beings in
the relations shifts that we have. Of course, we have
to now learn how to communicate. We have to learn
how to communicate on zoom. What the heck skite back
in those days. So now the methods of communication and
the characteristics and the necessities of knowing how to communicate
(40:15):
in that way is where we are. We have already
conquered virtual reality, and we use that for different kinds
of things. Virtual reality. We're teaching people how to use
the phone, their own phones, which is not going to
go away, how to use the phone to help them
improve their speech. We have an app that we use.
So there's all kinds of things that are changing in society,
(40:37):
but people don't change the necessity for being able to
communicate with one another. It's a spouse or a child,
or a neighbor or a business, another countryman, another country
that remains the same. Human beings are going to be
the same, and so we'll be here to treat them
for the next sixty years.
Speaker 2 (40:53):
I know, Dennis, I wish you great luck in the future.
Sounds like you don't need it, say it anyway, and
we will get together again, I promise, I hope.
Speaker 3 (41:06):
So Morey, You've always been one of my favorite people,
and I so admire the work that you do, not
only here, but the work that you do outside. So
I'm proud to call you a friend, and I thank
you for having me on this evening.
Speaker 2 (41:17):
I feel the same way, and I'll be in touch
you take care.
Speaker 3 (41:20):
Now, all right, thanks, bye bye, all right.
Speaker 2 (41:24):
I want to thank doctor David Nathan who was on
first tonight, Beer Dave who set phone records people calling in,
dB Cooper, and Dennis Becker Rob Brooks, Thank you, sir.
You do an excellent job when I come in to
fill in for Dan Ray and I always look forward
to working with you. Nancy sitting next to me, and
(41:48):
Gray where is he? He's in here somewhere, Thanks to
the two of you, whether you listen tonight and called
or just listened, I thank all of you. Now the
two words I really hate to say. It means the end.
By Boston
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