My Friend the Friar

My Friend the Friar

A podcast where we learn about our faith and share what it takes to live a Catholic Christian life through conversations and contemplations with my friend the friar, a Discalced Carmelite Priest.

Episodes

July 20, 2026 46 mins

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We dig into Catholic catechesis, sacramental preparation, and the uncomfortable truth that a one hour CCD class can’t replace daily formation. We kick around a bold proposal: what if readiness for First Communion, Reconciliation, and Confirmation was tested through a simple pass-fail interview, and the real burden of formation moved back to the domestic church? That opens up the hard questions about priorities...

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We catch up on real parish life with Father Stephen Sanchez, from the labor of so many First Communions and Confirmations to what it means to shepherd a loving, very poor community on a shoestring budget. Along the way we laugh about tomato-stealing squirrels and get serious about grief, memory, and why Catholic “content” only works when it flows from a deep spiritual life. 

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Intimacy sounds soft until you realize it can be the difference between a living faith and a life that runs on spiritual autopilot. I sit down with my friend the Friar, Father Stephen Sanchez, a Discalced Carmelite priest, to ask a deceptively simple question: what is intimacy, really, and does it matter for salvation?

We unpack intimacy as “the meeting of two interiorities” a shared exchange of t...

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We start half-awake on coffee and end up talking about why the “same weeds” keep coming back in our spiritual life. We use Saint John of the Cross to make sense of confession, suffering, purification, and what union with God actually asks of us.

• a garden as an image for recurring sin and lingering roots 
• temptation as the same weakness rather than the same act 
• confession of devotion...

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We connect what we believe about the human person made in God’s image to what we do at the altar, from the Bible’s earliest sacrifices to the Eucharist. We push past ritual fights and “do-it-my-way” spirituality to recover worship as a real encounter with Christ that demands love of God and neighbor. 
• Christian anthropology as the foundation for worship and liturgy 
• worshi...

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February 27, 2026 53 mins

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We trace a living map of Christian anthropology, from Imago Dei and dignity to mercy, worship, and stewardship in a tech-shaped world. Along the way we ask how baptismal grace can form our daily choices and make our communities more humane.

• why naming Christian anthropology matters now
• Imago Dei as the source of un-losable dignity
• Augustine’s restless heart and the human longing for God
•...

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We trace Brother Lawrence’s path from wounded soldier to humble Carmelite cook and explore how he learned to make prayer and work one seamless act of love. We share his hard decade of scruples, his breakthrough into peace, and practical ways to cultivate tenderness for Christ in daily tasks.

• Brother Lawrence’s early life, war wounds, and spiritual awakening
• Entering Carmel as a lay brother ...

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We open Season Four by catching up after a hard, grace-filled year and laying out a clear plan for what we will study next. We share travel, retreats, family loss, surprising audience growth, and the Carmelite themes we will explore with fresh focus.

• season three stretch due to illness, loss, and surgery
• retreats, parish missions, and formation work across several states
• top episode on Jewish marr...

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We trace the Carmelite path from Elijah’s quiet breeze to Teresa and John’s reform, exploring how silence, scripture, and daily Eucharist shape a life of allegiance to Christ. Along the way, we look at Mary’s role, major historical shifts, and why laypeople might discern the Secular Order.

• origins on Mount Carmel and Elijah’s witness
• the Rule of St Albert and daily Eucharist
...

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Want a prayer life that feels like a real relationship, not a checklist? We dive into Lectio Divina—sacred reading—as a simple, time-tested way to hear God through scripture and grow in freedom. Rather than racing through chapters or playing Bible roulette, we slow down with a short passage, repeat it, listen for the phrase that stirs the heart, talk with God about it, and then rest in his presence. This...

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We explore mental prayer through a Carmelite lens, moving from definitions and methods to the lived experience of silence, distraction, and trust. The theme is simple and demanding: prayer is a relationship, not a performance, and silence is where love learns to listen.

• mental prayer as interior attention and loving presence with God
• meditation using reason vs mental prayer using affection and attentio...

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November 28, 2025 59 mins

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Saint Rita of Cascia’s winding path moves from a violent marriage and family feuds to quiet holiness, peacemaking, and steady fidelity that outlasts grief. We wrestle with God’s will, cultural narcissism, and how endurance can be wiser than escape.

• early life, legends, and a thwarted desire for religious life
• marriage, conversion, and the cost of peacemaking
• betrayal, loss, and a mothe...

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What if obedience in marriage isn’t about control, but about love that aims at the common good? We dig into the heart of a Catholic marriage through the living model of Christ and the Church—where respect means honoring dignity, headship means spiritual responsibility, and submission looks like strength poured out in service. The conversation gets real about how cultural baggage and family patterns confu...

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We explore respect and obedience through the lens of Christian discipleship, tracing how honor, office, and conscience intersect and how obedience, purified of fear, can lead to real freedom. Stories from religious life ground the theology in daily choices, conflict, and growth.

• respect as honor rooted in the dignity of persons
• Jesus is Lord as foundation for obedience
• kenosis and the purification...

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What if your feelings didn’t get the final say on your choices—especially when life is in flux? We open up about seasons of upheaval: a child leaving for college, grieving a parent, cancer scares, and the low hum of uncertainty that follows big change. Rather than force emotions to match the moment, we explore how intentionality helps you act from conviction, not reflex, and how a Christian identity root...

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A compilation of previous episodes exploring sanctity, holiness, justification, and righteousness. 

Theology of Sanctity (Season 1 Episode 4)

Catholic and Protestant Views on Justification (Season 2 Episode 21)

Support the show

Click here to support the Carmelite Friars!

Have something you'd love to hear Fr. Stephen and John talk about? Email us at myfriendthefriar@gmail.com or click here

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Father Stephen and John dive deep into Chapter 8 of Lumen Gentium, exploring Mary's unique role in salvation history and addressing common misconceptions about Catholic Marian devotion.

• Mary's maternal role toward humanity doesn't diminish Christ's unique mediation but shows its power
• All Mary's influence originates from divine pleasure, not necessity, and depends entirely on Christ
• Mary is intima...

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A quick life update and request for prayers.

Support the show

Click here to support the Carmelite Friars!

Have something you'd love to hear Fr. Stephen and John talk about? Email us at myfriendthefriar@gmail.com or click here

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In this episode, Father Stephen brings his profound insights into how aligning our struggles with Christ's can be a transformative experience, offering both psychological relief and spiritual growth. Together, we explore the idea that suffering, while difficult, can be a path to deeper faith and redemption.

We also look to Mary, the ultimate example of steadfast faith and unwavering commitment, as a source of...

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Can understanding the role of Mary change your perspective on the Church? Join me and Father Stephen Sanchez as we navigate the profound teachings of Lumen Gentium, focusing on the essential yet often misunderstood role of Mary. We promise this exploration will deepen your appreciation of the Church's spiritual dimensions and unveil how integral Mary is to the narrative of salvation. You'll also hear updates on my m...

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