Been There Got Out Podcast

When Kasia Bukowska's horses refused to cooperate, she thought she was failing. What she discovered instead changed everything she understood about trauma, healing, and why we stay stuck. 

Kasia is a Polish equine-assisted therapist, equestrian coach, and artist who has spent years learning how to use horses as healing partners for clients working through deep emotional pain - including survivors of narcissistic abuse...

No one believes you. 
 
You've said it in every room. To every professional. To the judge, the GAL, the CPS worker. You didn't do this. The allegations are false. And yet — somehow — your children are not with you. 
 
There's a tool that most people in your situation have never heard of. It's not new. It's not experimental. It's legally recognized, it produces a certified written report...

You know you shouldn't react. You know exactly what your ex is doing when they push, bait, violate the court order, or put the kids in the middle. You've read the articles. You've heard about grey rock. You're smart — you've built a career, raised children, solved genuinely complex problems.

And you still react. Every time.

This is not a character flaw. This is your nervous system doing ex...

There's a moment most people in our community know well. Your phone lights up with a message from your ex. Or you're sitting in the parking lot outside the courthouse. Or you're on the phone with your attorney and your voice starts shaking.

You know the response you want to give. You know the person you want to be in that moment. And then something happens — a thought spiral, a surge of adrenaline, a reactio...

If your spouse owns a business — or if you co-own one together — your divorce just got significantly more complicated. The business isn't just a job. It's potentially a marital asset, a hidden income source, and a leverage point all at once. And if your ex controls the books? You may have no idea what it's actually worth.

In this episode, we sit down with Sara Nanchanatt, a forensic accountant and founder of...

Sara Vandenburg brings a perspective you won't find anywhere else: she's both a highly credentialed therapist specializing in childhood sexual abuse AND a survivor who has done the deep healing work to talk about her own experience "like the weather." In this profoundly important conversation with Lisa Johnson, Sara shares insights that could literally save children's lives and transform families.

...

Making critical decisions in high-conflict divorce when you can barely trust your own judgment? This interview is essential viewing.
 
After experiencing gaslighting, manipulation, and betrayal in a toxic relationship, many people struggle to trust their instincts—especially when the stakes are highest. Should you push for a custody evaluation? Is your ex really alienating the kids, or are you being paranoid? How do you rea...

"I'll never trust again."

That's what Lisa thought after discovering the truth about her nearly 20-year marriage—the serial affairs, the unprotected sex that put her health at risk, the father-in-law who helped finance the betrayals while smiling at Sunday family dinners. For two years, she told only three friends, consumed by shame and terrified that if others knew the truth, she'd never have the ...

Is your child struggling with your separation or divorce? Wondering if they need professional help? Licensed play therapist Jenny Hornby joins Lisa to discuss the critical signs that children need therapeutic support during high-conflict divorce - and why getting help for yourself might be even more important.

In this essential conversation, you'll discover when therapy becomes necessary, what different therapeutic ap...

🎯 "What does a custody evaluator actually look for?"

If you're terrified of your upcoming custody evaluation, attorney Tracy Galloway has the answer—and it might not be what you think.

Tracy has been a Massachusetts child custody and divorce attorney for over 30 years. She started at the Department of Children and Families working child welfare and abuse/neglect cases before transitioning to privat...

🎯 "Mediation? With a NARCISSIST? Are you crazy?"

If that's your reaction, you're not alone. Most people in high-conflict divorce assume mediation is pointless when dealing with someone who has a personality disorder or active addiction.

But according to Liz Merrill—who spent 20 years married to a narcissist scientist before becoming a divorce mediator herself—it's worth trying. And here's...

"I finally got out of that toxic relationship! I'm never doing that again!"

Six months later: Same person, different body.

If this pattern sounds familiar, you're not alone—and according to trauma therapist Sherry Gaba, it's not your fault. But it is something you need to understand if you ever want to break free.
"Love addicts are in love with love," Sherry explains. "A...

🎯 "If I don't get validation from my partner (or - yikes - my ex), I can't function. I'm a mess unless I get that feedback, that positive reinforcement."

That's validation addiction, and according to Ralph Brewer, founder of Help for Men and author of five books including "The Dead Bedroom Fix" and "Rebuild: The Complete Guide," it's an epidemic affecting far more peo...

🎯 **"90% of families with special needs children end up divorcing. And when they do, those children become incredibly vulnerable to gatekeeping behaviors that can lead to parental alienation."**

Ashish Joshi—one of our most frequently cited experts and a leading attorney specializing in family violence, parental alienation, and neurodivergent family cases—returns to explain the critical intersection between spec...

🎯 "Just pretend they are dead."

That's what a psychiatrist told Steven Eichenblatt's biological father—advice he followed when he dropped seven-year-old Steven and his twin sister off one day and never came back.

Steven is now an attorney with 37 years of experience, a guardian ad litem who represents children pro bono in custody cases, and the author of "Pretend They Are Dead"—a riv...

🎯 "Loss is loss. And we lose not only loved ones, but we lose a lot of different aspects in our life. Losing a child through disconnection... that is a really serious aspect of grief."

Jock Brocas—spiritual medium, psychologist researcher, ex-military, and grief expert—explains the unique grief of alienated parents during what he calls the "Bermuda Triangle" of holidays (Thanksgiving through New Year)....

🎯 "I couldn't sleep. I couldn't eat. It was all because of what I was doing—what we were doing—to my kids."

If that sounds familiar, this conversation is for you.

Jill Barnett Kaufman is a licensed therapist, divorce coach, certified mediator, and co-parenting expert who's been helping parents since the 90s. But she's also been exactly where you are—terrified that divorce would ruin ...

🎯 If divorce paperwork makes you want to crawl under your desk and never come out, you're not alone—and you're not broken.

Jorie Houlihan, a certified life coach specializing in ADHD (and diagnosed herself at age 49), explains why so many people in high-conflict divorce situations struggle with the organizational demands—and what actually helps.

Even if you don't have an ADHD diagnosis, the strateg...

🎯 If your child is drowning in anxiety from family stress and you're tired of adding more therapy appointments, this conversation will open new possibilities.
 
Brian Barry, Program Manager at Clay Art Center in Port Chester, NY, explains why anxious kids don't need fancy tools or expensive art supplies—they just need curiosity, enthusiasm, and a chance to get their hands messy.
 
Lisa visits the Clay Art...