Been There Got Out Podcast

If your child just told you something terrible — or if you're afraid they're trying to — this conversation is for you.

Lisa sits down with Julia Hochstadt, a licensed clinical social worker specializing in trauma, childhood sexual abuse, sexual assault, and domestic violence. Julia works with adolescents (15+) and adults, including many parents navigating high-conflict custody situations where their children may ...

If you've ever sat in a courtroom waiting for a judge to address what your ex is doing... and walked out with nothing... AGAIN, you already know this truth in your bones: justice delayed is justice denied.

Criminal defense attorney, legal analyst, and law professor James Porfido has spent more than 35 years watching the American legal system from every angle: as a prosecutor in the Morris County Prosecutor's Offi...

You pick your child up from their other parent's, and within minutes, the screaming starts. Maybe they're throwing things. Maybe they're kicking you. Maybe they're saying things you never imagined hearing from your own kid's mouth - things that sound frighteningly like your ex.

You're doing everything you can think of. Talking. Reasoning. Setting consequences. Nothing works. And you're st...

🎯 "I don't know what to expect — and that terrifies me."

If that's where you are right now, this conversation was made for you.

Dr. Benjamin Garber is a New Hampshire-licensed psychologist, former therapist of 30 years, custody evaluator, and legal consultant who has spent two years building one of the most practical resources available to family court litigants: DiffuseDivorce.com, a free lib...

If seeing your ex, even from across a parking lot, sends your body into overdrive, you're not overreacting. You're experiencing a trauma response. And it has a name.

In this episode, Lisa sits down with Dr. Andrea DePetris, a clinical psychologist at Yale School of Medicine and private practice therapist, for a conversation that will genuinely change how you understand yourself in these moments.

We start...

If your ex keeps dragging you back to court - filing motion after motion just to control, harass, and drain you, you already know how the legal system can become the abuser's most powerful weapon. What you might not know is that California is on the verge of changing that.

In this episode, Lisa sits down with Monique, one of BTGO's own success stories. After years of navigating the family court system herself, Mo...

What if the moment your child starts pulling away isn't a sign of failure, but the beginning of a chapter you can still write?

Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst has spent 50 years as a psychologist inside divorce cases, family courts, and the offices of struggling parents. What she's learned might change the way you see everything.

In this powerful conversation, Lisa sits down with Dr. Vanderhorst to explore the re...

What CPS Is Actually Looking For When They Knock on Your Door

When Child Protective Services shows up during a high-conflict divorce or custody battle, the fear can be overwhelming. You might be terrified of losing your children, furious at your ex for weaponizing the system, and completely in the dark about what happens next.

In this episode, Lisa sits down with Sara Vandenberg, a trauma psychotherapist and forme...

Have you ever looked back at your relationship with your ex and wondered: how did I get here? Why did I choose someone who would eventually turn the courts, the kids, maybe even your own family against you? Why did this feel so normal... at first?
 
The answer might be encoded in your DNA.
 
In this conversation, Lisa sits down with Dr. Sylvia Kalachinsky — a PhD family therapist with 21 years of clinical experience...

Your child cried at your house about how much they hate going to their other parent's home. Then you found out they had a great time. Or they came home from your ex's house perfectly happy, when you expected them to be upset. Or they told you one thing — and told your ex something completely different.
 
It can feel like a betrayal. Or proof that something is wrong at the other house. Or maybe it makes you doubt y...

When Kasia Bukowska's horses refused to cooperate, she thought she was failing. What she discovered instead changed everything she understood about trauma, healing, and why we stay stuck. 

Kasia is a Polish equine-assisted therapist, equestrian coach, and artist who has spent years learning how to use horses as healing partners for clients working through deep emotional pain - including survivors of narcissistic abuse...

No one believes you. 
 
You've said it in every room. To every professional. To the judge, the GAL, the CPS worker. You didn't do this. The allegations are false. And yet — somehow — your children are not with you. 
 
There's a tool that most people in your situation have never heard of. It's not new. It's not experimental. It's legally recognized, it produces a certified written report...

You know you shouldn't react. You know exactly what your ex is doing when they push, bait, violate the court order, or put the kids in the middle. You've read the articles. You've heard about grey rock. You're smart — you've built a career, raised children, solved genuinely complex problems.

And you still react. Every time.

This is not a character flaw. This is your nervous system doing ex...

There's a moment most people in our community know well. Your phone lights up with a message from your ex. Or you're sitting in the parking lot outside the courthouse. Or you're on the phone with your attorney and your voice starts shaking.

You know the response you want to give. You know the person you want to be in that moment. And then something happens — a thought spiral, a surge of adrenaline, a reactio...

If your spouse owns a business — or if you co-own one together — your divorce just got significantly more complicated. The business isn't just a job. It's potentially a marital asset, a hidden income source, and a leverage point all at once. And if your ex controls the books? You may have no idea what it's actually worth.

In this episode, we sit down with Sara Nanchanatt, a forensic accountant and founder of...

Sara Vandenburg brings a perspective you won't find anywhere else: she's both a highly credentialed therapist specializing in childhood sexual abuse AND a survivor who has done the deep healing work to talk about her own experience "like the weather." In this profoundly important conversation with Lisa Johnson, Sara shares insights that could literally save children's lives and transform families.

...

Making critical decisions in high-conflict divorce when you can barely trust your own judgment? This interview is essential viewing.
 
After experiencing gaslighting, manipulation, and betrayal in a toxic relationship, many people struggle to trust their instincts—especially when the stakes are highest. Should you push for a custody evaluation? Is your ex really alienating the kids, or are you being paranoid? How do you rea...

"I'll never trust again."

That's what Lisa thought after discovering the truth about her nearly 20-year marriage—the serial affairs, the unprotected sex that put her health at risk, the father-in-law who helped finance the betrayals while smiling at Sunday family dinners. For two years, she told only three friends, consumed by shame and terrified that if others knew the truth, she'd never have the ...

Is your child struggling with your separation or divorce? Wondering if they need professional help? Licensed play therapist Jenny Hornby joins Lisa to discuss the critical signs that children need therapeutic support during high-conflict divorce - and why getting help for yourself might be even more important.

In this essential conversation, you'll discover when therapy becomes necessary, what different therapeutic ap...