Film Yourself

Have you ever recorded yourself for ANY reason?!?!

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
What would you talk about on your on your podcast
Firm Elvis Show, Top of the Barn. And here's that appropriation.

(00:27):
Irish people are the one. Like everybody's Irish today, Aaron,
Aaron go without very good, Danielle, I don't know, I
know slancha Is cheers Aaron gobra is at mostly all
the Free Ireland or something that aren't Irish, Goothie. Everybody's
Irish on St Patrick's Day. I'm Irish. I don't. I

(00:49):
don't look at it like, oh, everybody's Irish on same
everybody that's not Irish, like scary, he's Italian, goes, I'm
a little Irish. Now he's got some African forever forever.
There you go here he's got some Italian. Scar's got
some African in him. Don't don't you you? I am
into the microphone. I'm a little Middle Eastern. I'm a
little African. Oh my god. He's around with his webcam.

(01:12):
Why you don't want us to see you? Now? I
got a new webcam. He's on two at once. Oh yeah,
you did get a new one. Do you know he
got this webcam? So he got the email that a
lot of people are getting that says, if you don't
use your points from your your airline points, they're going
to go. So that's what he did, right. Yeah, So
this is a great tip for people. If you have

(01:33):
expiring airline miles, a lot of times you could use
them in other places other than flights. So I'm like,
you know what, I ain't letting twenty nine thousand points
go to waste. So what am I gonna do. I'm
gonna go to an the airline's website, and I'm going
to spend the points that way, and I'm gonna buy
a gift. So I bought a webcam. Not this one

(01:54):
that's on the computer. That is a webcam. Look at
that's four k. What airline has points that expirepore Singapore Airlines,
Gandhi and I took a trip to Singapore to three
years ago. Some do I know deltas don't expire, but
if you keep like getting in the account, they'll just stay.
But for a lot of people, they didn't fly for
two years. So now they're yeah, you're telling me that

(02:15):
cameras worth twenty nine thousand points. Not that came like
when you go to chuck e cheese, that camera's worth
a flight. Are you kidding me? Around the world? A
flight around the world, Scotty. Tomorrow, when don't we do
our next podcast, I will show you what this camera
can do. It comes the other cameras better. Wait, you

(02:39):
know even that math doesn't work. It was twenty nine points. Yeah,
you know that should be like a three camera. Isn't
that kind of the I think it was way more
than that. What kind of camera is it? Like? What's
the name brand of the camera? What is it? It's
called the J five Create. But it comes with this

(03:00):
little cool remote control, so I could zoom in and
out and I could pay the camera left and right
with my in my hands, do with that zooming in
and out with a remote and come in. Let's see
in the room. It doesn't have a Do you think
this is one of those portant cameras where you could
be like having sex and sure? It's yeah, all right,

(03:25):
Joe Pins who's recorded themselves doing it? Oh no, no,
no no. I learned a long time ago from David Swimmer.
It's the only thing that away from David Twimmer. David
Swimmer said, never record yourself doing anything like that, because
one day come back to haunt you and David Swimmer
has always been are so haunted. A long time ago,

(03:45):
when I had my big VHSC camera with the tapes
in it, I tried to record a girl that came
to my apartment. I put a stack of VHS boxes
on top of my TV. And because you know you
were doing this, you creep So I have a tape
of me like practicing, so I would like throw myself
on the bed and then I go back and I
watch it to see the angle or whatever. Did you

(04:07):
put a big red X and nasking tape from I
knew where to lay. But then, of course, by the
time she finally came over and anything happened, the battery
died and that was it. So there's nothing except me
practicing on there. Exceptionally creepy and I'm pretty sure illegal.
I don't think. Back then, it was like a little
to the right and she's like my hand, No, your face,

(04:29):
you're not in the count. I can't top that. So
I'm sorry, Scotty, I can't top that. Your market. You
don't film yourself having sex, you just film yourself that
that at left. No, I would never do that. I
have filmed myself having sex. I'm not sure where those
videos are. I feel like of my friends have definitely

(04:52):
done that. I didn't heer. I never even took or
said a d pic. You've never taken solid good, good choice,
do it? I sent one to the wrong Lisa one time,
remember that. I remember that that was an accident. Didn't

(05:16):
that happen in succession? Yes, succession Here in uh Culkin,
Roman Roy was trying to send it to some woman
that he was sleeping with and insteads into to his dad.
It's the meme that's going around where you see here
in Culkin, just like sulking over the table because he
just send a dick pick It was dad. Yeah, I'll
tell you what. That's what on him? That whatever bathsto

(05:38):
ord or whatever the hell you want. His face when
he sent that picture to his father, you could just
feel that, but he blowing through his for him. I
thank god my guy has a fliphone. Would never be
able to get a picture. He has a flipphone. I
was so pissed because he walked into a store because
his old flip phone finally broke. So I was like, oh,
thank god, he has to get a normal keyboard phone.

(06:00):
Maybe I phone something. He somehow exited the store with
a flip phone. I said, where the fund did you
get that? He said, oh, the kid in there told
me he had one still in the back from years
and years ago. That I said, I'm gonna find that
kid and I'm gonna him up because I am so
upset about this. It's the worst phone ever. And he
uses all our phones all the time for stuff because

(06:20):
he loves all the capabilities. He wants to be able
to play with it. He just you know, I will
not get an iPhone. I will not be traced by
the government. Your dad a drug dealer, by my dad's
a nutcase. Like there's no other nuts, absolutely nuts those
the government's tracking me people. I'm like, you know what
if there's somebody at the government that is assigned to
follow me. God, they have those board job. No one's

(06:44):
interested in you, no offense, Dad, But like no one
cares what you're googling online with your little conspiracy theories.
Like you're fine, you're going we don't do a podcast
on Fridays. What's everybody doing this weekend? I don't even know.
I gonna lie. I am going to see my boyfriend.

(07:07):
We know what God is gonna be doing Friday night
Saturday and recording. You're gonna be using this yere webcam
you're going to borrow baby Maybe I don't know no,
but I'm very excited. I haven't seen him in months,
month or two. You're gonna jump his bones. He's going
to film it. We're going to a middle school play

(07:30):
three times this weekend. That's yeah, because Coopers in it.
It's called honk. It's it's like what it's called honk.
It's like bee beep. Yeah, it's like the it's like
the ugly duckling. But I guess they can't say ugly anymore,
so it's called honk. Oh God, wait, and then what's
the story? The whole story is about how the duckling
was ugly. I guess we'll find out. I don't know,

(07:51):
so what park pc It is ridiculous, man, just call
it the ugly Duckling. Already, all I know is she said,
please don't be disappointed. I'm not in much so you know, well,
I'm not sure exactly what she is. Can you leave
after she's done? It's not That's when that's when you

(08:12):
go to like the dancer side of the stuff, and
they now will send home things that say, please, when
your kid is done, don't get up and leave. It's
disrespectful to the other kids. Sometimes, you know, what they
do do looks like jail. Sometimes that's worth schools. I
have seen that if there's a lot of kids, they

(08:33):
will give like the kids who are coming in the beginning,
they'll give the parents the seats in the front, and
then like they'll rotate parents so that the parents whose
kids are coming later can move to the front or not.
This do you know that? Now? In the public schools,
in the middle school, there's a ticketmaster type site that
you have to go on and buy tickets specific it's not,
but it's something like that, and you have to choose

(08:55):
your seats and there and fifty cents of tickets from
the inside Matt style your neighborhood. And Cade's graduation, they
did they split the class, so they did A and
then the second one was L. And so they did
a L, A L and they went back and forth.
Kade was the second L. So he was the third

(09:17):
person to walk across the stage. I got up and left.
He's done too, right, like he's graduating. Yeah, he had
to sit there while the whole class, like everyone's name
person my My high school Froggy. You know the high
school that I went to in Pembroke Pines. It was

(09:39):
like the biggest school in the southeast United States. My
graduating class had twelve hundred people walk Oh like six
hundred people didn't graduate, which was a whole other story.
But it was forever. It was in the Panthers arena,
like it was just it was forever. It was. My
dad said, this is the most miserable thing I've ever
sat there. I didn't even want to go. My stepdaughter

(10:00):
graduated from the same school. Yeah. You know what's worse,
Oh my gosh, when your kid plays a musical instrument
and you have to sit through that and it's like
it's like it's so bad. It doesn't even sound like
the song that they're performing, and you still have to
sit there and like be like, this is great. Were
you're really selling this? Have kids thing? To me? My kids,

(10:21):
I have boys. They haven't done any of those things.
That's been fantastically. My parents didn't come to half of
the stuff, and I was thrilled, but I didn't care
at all. They were like, oh, you know, in retrospect,
we're sorry we didn't come. I'm like it was great.
I didn't care. What it would be worse is if
your kid was like a terrible athlete, but he was
still on the team and you have to go to
the game because like going for like a minute, that

(10:42):
was me, that was you which a sport. I was
on the track team for one season? You played parent
what was your event? My parents came and watched and
knocked over hurdles and I was so embarrassed, and that
was that was the one track meet they ever came to,
because I was like, I suck, Please don't come anymore.
That's awesome. Were you on the track team? Scary that

(11:05):
my dad was so nervous when I played sports that
he would watch from like the outside door, Like the
doors would have windows, so he would stay on the
outside part of it and just like peep in like
going okay, Like he was just a nervous, worry body
about everything. It's it's even bad when your husband plays sports,
because Sheldon was playing like flank football for a while
and there was a couple of times where he or

(11:26):
someone else would get hurt on the field, and you
don't want to be that wife. Who was like, it's
like you just wanted. But you know what he did
One time he had broken his arm or rest or something,
but he knew the final was coming. He cut the
cast off of his wrist dedication, slipped it off, and
found a way to slip it back on without the
doctor finding out, so he could play in that final.

(11:49):
I sweat, and you know when you want to say something,
and I was like, I better just shut my mouth.
You break your arm again, don't you're saying nothing. I
was thinking about like boxers and m M fighters, like
how can their significant other come and watch them get
their ass kicked? And then I'm sure you guys all
see the video of the one boxer whose mom jumped
into the ring with her purse. I'll started feeding the

(12:10):
other guy, Like I can't understand why that would happen. Well,
they can watch because the pay days pretty decent or after.
You know, I don't want to see for all that money. No,
I would never want to see that, no way. So
you're telling me if Sheldon was about to walk away
with twenty million dollars, and but he's putting up a fight,
It's not like he's getting his ass kicked I don't
like that stuff. That's so frogg Lisa's in the M

(12:33):
m A. He's about to make fifty million dollars on
a pay per view fight and ship kicked out of her,
but she's also fighting. She's she's fighting back. It's not
like she's getting I couldn't watch it. Nope, I couldn't
do it. I don't like him to again with like
I'm I think I'm one of the few guys that
doesn't like him m A. So I don't like watch. Like,

(12:54):
if I go to a restaurant there's like twenty televisions on,
they're all on M m m A. I will get up
and leave. I can't watch get the Ship Kicked out
of him? Not, I just I don't like other people
as long as I don't know that. But if Brandon
was in that, no freaking I did not like M
m A at all. But what's worse is one night,
me and my girlfriend went out to dinner in Bay

(13:15):
Ridge to an Italian restaurant and they had the M
m A. They had UFC on right there, and I'm like,
is this really appropriate? While we're eating dinner, I'm eating
red sauce and these guys are going at it in
this ring, tearing the ship out of each other. I'm like,
this is awful, this is this place has no couth
check please. So if Robin was in the m b

(13:35):
A w the line he wins, you get a lifetime
supply of chicken parm No, No, I wouldn't. I wouldn't.
I couldn't watch him. Someone be in the sport. I
don't want someone to watch me in the sport that.
I don't want to watch it on TV. I don't
want to in my face while I'm eating dinner. You know,

(13:57):
you know there's that one part at the bar where
he starts kicking the guy. Yeah, that's why I turned
the movie off. If you're killing zombies or monsters or ghosts,
I'm good for real people. I don't like. Don't. I
couldn't watch it. She doesn't watch that. I can't see it.
I feel like we're all really missing something. You would
watch your wife get her ship. She's a very good fight.

(14:22):
This money involved. Go ahead. Your girlfriend and your mom
are in an m On the next podcast, Somebody Patrick's Day,
Everybody fifteen minute morning show