March 9, 2023 • 25 mins
We chat with author Lewis Howes talking about his book : The Greatness Mindset. Unlock the Power of Your Mind and Live Your Best Life Today!
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Speaker 1 (00:05):
Friendly reminder to rise and but I don't have enough sleep.
My voice gets very low. It all the way, is it?
This show has moved every morning? Great love you listen
(00:25):
to every mornings, every morning. You track it up every morning,
Daddy Elvis Duran in the Morning show. I love days
like this. I'll tell you why when we have a
guest that can come in who smells nice. Oh yes,
but also can share with us the power of having
(00:48):
the courage to listen to your voice, and when your
voice isn't good for you, change your voice. It's one
of the great things about this book called the Greatness Mindset.
Unlock the power of your mind and live your best
life today. Lewis House is here. Hi, Lewis, good to
see you, Good to see you. It's good to have
you here. Can we go ahead and clear the ear
of the negativity? Let's do it. So you were in
this iHeart building yesterday on some sort of business. Yes,
(01:11):
none of our business on your business yet, But so
what happened Gandhi? No? No from your perspective, Lewis, Well,
I'm just, you know, minding my own business, trying to
be a nice human being, walking around enjoying my life,
and I'm I go into an elevator here, uh, and
just get slammed the Elbert just slams on me in
the middle of my body as I try to enter
the elevator. Why is that? I don't know your your
(01:33):
co host is slammed it on me because she didn't
want it to enter the elevator. So did you pull
that trick? Gandhi? Hello Lewis, and we're both from Ohio.
If you were from Michigan and I would understand. All right,
So you were on the elevator and you saw you
saw a body coming towards you, and you said closed door,
close door close, did the thing where there are people
in the elevator, and then he was a late guy
to the elevator. So I was like, oh, not today,
(01:53):
not on my watch to try to get somewhere. But
I told him I tried to do it. I was like,
usually when someone's late the elevator, I hit the door
closed button on them. But he made it in and
he said he said, yeah, I would do that too.
Then we move on from that. Yes, you know, I
really a really good friend. Matthew Hussey said, you got it.
(02:15):
You gotta ask Lewis next time he's in town, if
you can come in and talk to you. I've been
going over your story. Interesting story, yeah, uh gosh, doing
college football and then an injury kept you from that
dream happening. Your father got very sick and you dealt
(02:35):
with that. You know, these are the challenges in life.
Whether you have big ones as dramatic as those or
less dramatic, there's still challenges. And you find yourself in
a ditch and you find yourself wondering, well, what is
my what's my play? Yeah, so tell me about it?
Well interially, because I became very successful in athletics, and
then I got injured and I transferred that skill set
(02:56):
of setting goals, of going after a vision of working
hard and being consists in business. And ten years ago
I moved to La from New York City, and for
whatever reason, everything started to break down in my life.
But I was being quote unquote successful in certain elements.
So I had a successful business, I was making money,
I was healthy. But for whatever reason, I was just
(03:17):
breaking down in every relationship in my life. And I
remember being stuck in La traffic. I don't know if
you've been to La much and stuck it. It takes
like two hours to go two miles right. I was
stuck in LA traffic, and I remember thinking to myself,
everything is breaking down inside of me and every relationship
around me, and I feel stuck. And I was literally
stuck in LA traffic, not happy for moving from New
(03:40):
York because I love New York City to LA for
a girl that didn't work out, by the way, that
was one of the things that felt stuck. And I
remember looking everyone around me in the cars like screaming
and swearing at each other and flipping people off, honking
the horn and just angry. And people are going through
that right now while listening to this exactly, and I
remember thinking, I feel stuck in everyone else around me
(04:01):
as we're stocked in traffic is kind of like frustrated
and cutting people off and being angry. And I go, man,
I got to find a way to overcome this stuck
feeling in my life physically getting out of this traffic,
but also emotionally and mentally. And that's when I started
going down this path of seeking out mentors, guides, teachers,
therapist coaches to help me overcoming this stuck feeling. And
(04:24):
that's been a ten year journey now, so I guess
it's safe to say you're no longer stuck. I think
we're always a work in progress. So it's not like
I'm you know, I don't feel stuck. It doesn't work
that way. Yeah, But it's just we're always growing, we're evolving.
We always have challenges that are going to face us
at different seasons of life right as we grow and overcome.
So how do we address this? Well, first of all,
(04:46):
you have to realize there's something to address, and you
realize that in the middle of a traffic jam in
Los Angeles or traffic jam in your life. Well, people
are listening right now, and I maybe one of them.
To be perfectly honest, where we're in I don't want
to use the word rut, but that's sort of it
stuck in place. Really why I don't know? And well,
and the reason I don't know is I haven't taken
the time or haven't had the courage to try to
(05:08):
unpack that stuff. Yeah, I think we got to ask
ourselves courageous questions. It's one of the things I talked
about a lot. And if things are coasting or we're
just in the mundane or the consistency of life, and
we don't stop to reflect. I think an off season
is always a great time to ask ourselves these courageous questions,
do I want to keep going down this path that
I'm going down. That's why in sports you take a season,
(05:30):
you take the off season to reflect and say do
I want to play the sport next season. We just
saw Tom Brady finally retire for the second time. He reflected,
he asked these questions. And if we don't stop to
ask the courageous questions, we can feel stuck. We can
feel trapped, we can feel like we're in a rut,
like we're overwhelmed, like what's the purpose? What's the meaning
of my life right now? And I think it's important
(05:50):
to us those questions. So what I like to question
is kind of what I have to ask people is
kind of a vulnerable question. I don't know if you're
open to try to look an avulnerable questions? Well, everybody, sure,
we can all try. Yeah, let's put everyone on the cross.
Maybe my nemesis, you know, maybe maybe she can start
to say something vulnerability. We have no problem with vulnerability.
This is a self assessment question. So if you're driving
(06:13):
and you're stuck in traffic right now. Ask yourself this
question on a scale of one to ten. Call it
the inner piece, self acceptance, self love scale. Let's just
work with me here, call it the inner piece. I
feel peaceful, I feel loved, I feel accepted for who
I am in my life. Scale one ten, ten being
(06:34):
you love and accept yourself fully and you have a
lot of peace in your heart emotionally, one being you
just are frustrated. You're angry, you don't have peace, you
don't have clarity, none of that. You don't have love
for yourself. You feel frustrated all the time, you feel
stuck all the time. Okay again, where would you be
on that one to ten scale. We'll start with our
nemesis over Gandhi. Yes, I think I'm probably at an
(06:57):
eight with inner peace. That's great. Yeah, I feel really
good self love, self acceptance. You're you're in a great
place in your life and your relationships, in your career.
You feel like I'm I'm I'm working, I'm going great.
I think so. And it took a long time to
get here, and it hasn't been that way my whole life.
But I would say for the past few years. That's
definitely where I've been. Now. When it comes to how
(07:18):
do I feel as far as being accepted by others,
that number would change drastically. But I think that that
also goes to the fact that I have inner peace.
I don't really care. That's that's the key. Because we
can't control how other people think about us, what they
say about us, what they if they judge us or
they love us. But if we accept and love ourselves,
that's the key, right and Gandhi Gandhi is the light
when it comes to that approach. What about you, Danielle,
I feel like kind of the same seven or an eight?
(07:40):
Are we disappointing you that we're feeling I feel like
I'm very happy. My family's good. Um, you know, I
don't know. I'm happy with my job. I just feel
like I wake up every day in a good mood.
My health is good. That's great, amazing, amazing. This is
a very complex question to answer, and I'll tell you
why I'm on an eight as well. But you did
(08:01):
use a word called clarity. Clarity I have. I'm a one,
I have a two, So I mean some things you're
an eight or nine, but then other things you're a
one or self exemptance and love them for myself. Absolutely.
The clarity is kind of a lost, foggy thing and
one of the one of the elements of a greatness
mindset versus a powerless mindset. This is not a make
wrong good or bad, right or wrong. This is just
(08:23):
is it useful and effective in my life? Is the
lack of a meaningful mission makes us feel more powerless
in our life. When we are clear on our meaningful mission,
which is part of the greatness mindset, we feel more abundant,
we feel more light, we feel more focused, energized. So
it's when we're lacking clarity. You could be at the
top of the world in your career like you are.
(08:44):
You're you've been doing this for what twenty something years more,
But you could be at the top. You could be
at the top. Here's an interesting thing. I asked this
to Drew Barrymore yesterday on her show, and she says
she's a five okay, And you can be super successful.
You can be a happy person and still feel stuck
or just unclear and feel like there's something inside I
feel like I'm not sure what to do next. I
(09:06):
feel stuck and again This is not to make wrong
or anyone's bad or anything. It's just is that helping
you in this courageous question, this reflection point, whether it's
the end of a chapter, the end of a career,
the end of a relationship, or just in the middle
of the show right now asking ourselves these things, or
a middle traffic asking all right, is everything working the
way I wanted to work? If not, that's okay, but
(09:29):
I've got some work to do well okay. By the way,
just reminds you the greatest mindset unlocked, the power of
your mind and live your best life today. The book
from Lewis House which is already a New York Times
bedseller look at that, or the author is a best
selling author. And this will be of course at the top.
But let me clarify something with you asking the big
questions like who are you? And what do you want
(09:51):
to portray to the world? And we were talking last
sign at dinner another conversations like what's your playbook? What
is your playbook? Look, you're on the field, what exactly
are you there to do? Where do you want to run?
Where do you want to go? And how do you
want to get there? And are you on the right field.
Exactly are you on the right field? And you have
a game plan for taking action to getting what you want?
So can you clarify for like, just anyone USA driving
(10:15):
work right now? Apply it to a teacher, to a doctor,
to a nurse, to an anyone like I feel like
a little loss, but they can't figure the answers out.
I think the enemy of greatness is lacking a meaningful mission.
And I believe anyone can be great. And it takes
us being clear on what a meaningful mission looks like
to us, what does a mission? What does a meaningful mission?
(10:36):
A meaningful mission is you taking on and declaring the
life you want to live that is fulfilling to you
and also in service and support to others. It's not
sacrificing yourself to give to everyone else around you. It's not.
It's not giving up your health and your dreams to
just be there for others like I know a lot
of people do. It's doing both. How can I optimize
(10:58):
my health? How can I optimize the love and the
peace for myself to pursue the dreams that I have,
the things that fulfill me, that light me up, but
also inspire the people around me in that pursuit, using
my gifts and talents to pursue it and help others.
And that's that's enough, being of service to others, scent
and lighting yourself up as you said, as Diamond would
(11:19):
say in there, like make your life pop, be popping. Yeah,
and that's how to do it, be popping. But I
think you've got to define in one sentence what your
meaningful mission is so we are clear. How do you
do that? This is where I think a lot of
people are lost. There's three piece for this process of
discovering your meaningful mission. And it doesn't mean it's going
to happen overnight. It doesn't mean you know, you might
(11:42):
get clear right away. It might take a season of
figuring things out, trying a bunch of things. It might
take six months, a year, years until you get really
clear on what that is. So you don't have to
beat yourself up if you're not clear right now. But
it's figuring out number one first pe your passions, your likes,
your interests, your curiosity, and just yourselves. What would I
do if I could do anything and I didn't have
(12:04):
to worry about money? What would light me up? What
would make my life pop something I'm excited about. Your
first P is your passion. The second P is your power.
What are the talents and the gifts that you have
that are unique to you? And I didn't think I
had a lot of gifts. After sports was done, I
went into the business world not knowing anything about business,
but I had goal setting skills. I had the ability
(12:24):
to connect with people. I had the ability to ask
interesting questions, but I didn't think that would transfer. But
it was a power of mine. So get clear on
your superpowers. And the third thing is figuring out the
problem you want to solve. What is the problem I
want to solve in my world. It doesn't have to
be even to cure cancer in the world, but how
do I want to solve problems in my community, with
my family, with my friends, and in my society. So
(12:47):
if you can start to ask yourself these three things,
and I go over exercise in the book how to
kind of like massage and figure those out more. But
getting clear on those will help you create a one
sentence mission statement is to serve and impact one hundred
million lives weekly to help them improve the quality of
their life. That is my mission. And you do. There
(13:07):
are different there are different mechanisms that I can do
that with, and it can evolve over time on how
I do that. But that gives me direction. It doesn't
mean it's actually going to happen. It gives me direction
on what to say yes or no to where to
put my energy, time and attention to. It doesn't mean
I'm not going to have challenges and adversity and problems.
It just means I'm more focused and I know where
(13:29):
I'm going. Your podcast is huge? How many hundreds of millions?
I think I have six hundred million downloads total? Okay, yeah,
not shabby, Yeah it's not actually, but it really tells
a story like why would six hundred million downloads need
to occur in this world of ours? Well, because people
have a desire to be better. I'm not This conversation
with Lewis isn't only about people who are lost or
(13:51):
it's It's also about people who don't want to be lost.
They are motivated and people that want to stay feeling good.
You know, the reason I keep having coaches in my
life and this and relationships and health and have mentors
and friends that inspire me is because I want to
stay feeling good. I don't want to stop. It's an
addiction as a habit. Hey, Andrew, Andrew, Yes, Andrew and Orlando,
(14:14):
Welcome to the show. It's a guy for it's a
man from Florida. It's got to be an interesting story.
That's no. I'm from New York, but I live down here. Now.
What's going on? Andrew? How? How is what Lewis is
saying resonating with you? Yeah? I just kind of I
heard him say, you know, the feeling stuck part, and
in my last place of employment, I won't name names, Um,
I just kind of felt stuck. I didn't really know
(14:36):
I was in a rut, right, you know, I didn't
know what to do. Um. You know, the paychecks were
coming in, it was saying the bills, so you know
that part was great and all, but everything else was horrible.
And I didn't know what to do. And you know,
I see some one of my good friends around me
making big strides in his career, and I said to myself,
I was like, you know what, if he could do it,
if anyone could do it, I could do it right.
(14:56):
And I kind of took that step on a whim.
I I quit my job without another the job, and
I probably spent a good month or two figuring out
what I wanted to do, and now I'm at a
place and I couldn't be happier. So it just kind
of resonated with me about the feeling stuck part. There's
the word courage is very relevant here. I mean, it
does take courage, and it takes some It takes courage
to make that leap. But also it seems like to me,
(15:19):
you just to be a really brave person not to
try that leap and just try to keep on going
with what you're doing, that it takes so much effort
to not put an effort to me, I don't know, Yeah,
I agree, I think it. You know, if there's a
period of time where it's like enough is enough, If
you feel like you're so stuck, you're so trapped for
so long in one place, uh, then you don't want
(15:40):
to live in regret for ten twenty more years saying
well I didn't have the courage to leap, to go
somewhere else or try something different. I can't wait to
quit today. What'd your dad say? Well, Andrew, what did
your dad say? He always says, if you're sick and
tired to being sick and tired to do something about it.
If you like in anxiety or like something that's holding
you back with you don't have the confidence in yourself
(16:01):
to make that leap. And you know, maybe you do
have the talent, but you just there's some mental block
going on. There's two things. One, we've got to face
the things that cause us doubt insecurity. I believe self
doubt is the killer of all dreams. We can have
all the talent, all the skills, all the accomplishments, all
the schooling or whatever it might be, and we can
have everyone else telling us you're great, you can do it,
(16:23):
you're the best. But if we don't learn to believe,
it'll never happen. We'll always buckle under pressure, we'll always
be scared. So we've got to face the things that
cause us to doubt and be insecure the most, and
we need support in doing that. I don't think we
should do it alone. Find support, Find a mentor a
friend and advise or a coach to guide you in
that process. And what about people on like a micro
(16:45):
level of this. So let's say there's somebody who says
I'm a single mom, I have three kids. I don't
have the luxury to quit my job and just start
something new. Where do they start with little things that
they can change? And I'm not Yeah, go ahead, good question,
and I don't think you should. I think and probably
had some you know, financial reserves in the bank where
he could leap into, you know, saying I don't know
(17:05):
what my next job is going to be. I never
recommend jumping out of something right away. I always recommend
having a conversation with the people at your work and saying, hey,
how can I make this better for myself? What can
I do? I'm not happy right now, and I want
to make sure that I'm really happy and you're happy
with me. So I think first having those uncomfortable conversations
that people don't like having with their boss or their
team to resolve issues first at work. But if it's
(17:28):
really not the mission they're on, they're not aligned with
the values of this place, I think it's finding out, Okay,
where do I really Where would be my ideal dream
place to go locally or virtually now that you can
work almost anywhere in the world virtually, and how can
I start creating a game plan around where I'd like
to go in the future, not leaving right away, but
just start reviewing and researching what that could be interesting
(17:50):
text here, I'm a counsel person. I serve our city,
I work hard, I take care of my family. I'm
holding on by a thread, holding on by a thread.
It's a very, very very visual. Well, usually when we're
when we're holding on by a thread, or we feel
that stuck or trapped in life, there's something inside of
us that has yet to process fully. There's something inside
(18:11):
of us that has yet to realize, and that could
be in breakdown and relationships. This is what I felt. Again.
I had success externally, but I was holding on by
a thread internally, and I was in breakdown mode, and
I was like, why am I so anxious? Why am
I so stressed? And it really starts with two things.
I don't know if anyone saw Creed they, let's say
Creed three recently. Well, I don't want to spoil the
(18:33):
whole thing, but I won't spoil it by this story.
But the main character, Michael B. Jordan, he is he
has won the world championships right, he is the greatest
boxer of our time. He is have all the money's
in the top of the Hollywood Hills. He's got all
of it, and he retires at the top. But then
he's an emotional breakdown. He can't open up with his wife,
(18:56):
he doesn't connect with his daughter's he's breaking down and
has someone anxiety, And you think, why you have all
the success in the world, But there's something he has
an addressed from his past. There's something he hasn't faced,
and his past continues to chase him. As he was
running away from his past his whole life. He was
going after success. He was going after the career, of
the job, the marriage, the kids, the family. But if
(19:18):
we're running away from something that is scaring us still
that we don't want people to know about. Another tenet
of the powerless mindset versus greatness mindset concealing past pains.
If we hold on to our past and we don't
process it, it will continue to make us feel like
we're holding on by a threat. So we must learn
to process the things that have hurt us, that have
upset us, the relationship breakdowns we have, and if we
(19:40):
just mask them or run from them, they'll keep chasing us. Wow.
But you know, chasing the past and figuring this out
and uncovering these things. It's not easy and it's it's painful,
but it's necessary. Eventually the thread will snap if you
don't do it. Well. I'm glad we don't just see
Creed anymore. One more thing and then I don't know,
(20:03):
we gotta process all of this. And then I got
to tell you about the book in the podcast because
I want everyone to participate in what you do. Scary
was talking about how, you know, how do you drown
out the outside noise, which is always sort of an
obstacle in achieving missions, and I guess this could lead
to procrastination, It could lead to not being focused on
what your goal is. It's you know, Gandhi over here,
(20:25):
who's an eight consistently she's learned how to accept and
love herself for her past. You know, you don't feel
at an eight consistently in all areas of your life
if you aren't peace with yourself, and so you're going
to be constantly trying to drown out the past. If
you don't accept and love you, if you don't learn
how to say I believe in me, I'm acceptance of
(20:45):
where I'm at my life. Maybe there's some mistakes I've
made or things I wish I did differently, but I
accept those things now because I can't change the past.
So it's learning how to process it, and so you
can be at peace even when you were saying, well,
maybe other people judge me, I don't like certain things,
but you and you accept things, and so that makes
you not feel overwhelmed or frustrated all the time, except
(21:06):
for when you're trying to close the elevator. I've learned
for my past mistake not to do that anymore, right, Yes,
because you know the guest is coming on the next thing. Well,
I mean I wouldn't, I would say, out of all
of us in this room, and maybe Daniel will agree.
Gandhi is really great at letting things roll off. Yeah,
that's for sure. Why do you think that is when
a lot of people can hold on to grudges forever. Yeah. So,
(21:28):
not to get too deep here, but I think being
Indian and growing up in Ohio where you know that
we were oh h I owe. Actually, um, I was
always the other so I never fit in and I
just kind of let it go at a younger age
because everybody around me was different from me, and I
was always a different person. So there's certain things even
if I wanted to change them, which I don't like
(21:50):
my skin color, that you can't. So you just have
to figure out, Okay, well, this is me and this
is how it's always going to be. So if these
people hate me for that, they're gonna hate me for that.
But I love me and I love me for that.
So what are you gonna do? Exactly? Gay, you'll get strong?
Well here, I'm white Scottish boy. Let me try to
get try to get into the spin. Okay, talk about
(22:11):
the podcast. What's not even the School of Greatness is
the podcast? Hold on, let me write this down. The
School and Greatness, the School of Greatness, and I started
it ten years ago. Literally it happened when I was
stuck in traffic. I'm not kidding about this. I was
stuck in traffic for I don't know, one hour and
a half. Traffics have been very good to you, but
it has been good. And sometimes our biggest breakdowns lead
to our biggest breakthroughs. So don't be upset when you're
in the mess. Know that this is helping you transform
(22:33):
and break through into something greater for yourself. So people
try to run away from it, allow yourself to see, well,
what is this teaching me right now? So I was
in traffic and I started calling two friends that I
knew out a podcast. This was ten years ago. No
one even knew what a podcast was, right, And I
was like, I feel like I need to learn some lessons.
I've had a lot of false ego, false confidence most
of my life that's got to me certain results, but
(22:54):
left me feeling empty inside. I need to humble myself
and learn from everyone. So it's been ten years of
asking questions from the greatest leaders, the greatest minds, athletes, billionaires, therapists,
doctors to learn how to improve my own life, and
then being the guinea pig, I've just tried to share
those lessons with others. So it's the School of Greatness.
That's the podcast. The book we're talking about from Lewis
(23:15):
Howes is The Greatness Mindset, Unlocked the power of your
mind and live your best life today. And what a
great time we've had with you. And they said it's
going to be on audible in a couple of weeks,
and he narrated it. So if you liked his voice
and you like because sometimes I feel like when you
read it, especially a book like this, maybe you get
more out of listening to the person that wrote it
(23:37):
because the way you what's the word I'm looking for
your energy, it's your attention, it's your how you present it.
You know it might might even help you more. Plus
you have that ballsy residence. You guys just got great
equipment here. It just makes you sound good. I know
when we turn off the Lewis Howes the greatest mindset,
(23:57):
unlocked the power of your mind and live your best
life to gain today. And of course at the School
of Greatness is the podcast. Thank you for coming, Thank you.
I appreciate it. And just keep an eye on GANDHI.
One time you guys, one time, thank you, Thank you guys.
The Mercedes Bands and Interview Lounge Shaggy, I gotta come
check the new studio out man. You have to. You
(24:18):
got Rebecca with you because we love her. The first
time I was meeting Elvis, she got so exaid. I'm like,
you know, I met Nelson Mandela, I met the Queen,
I met the Pope, and you're excited for Elvis Duran.
They say you can't have your cake and eat it too,
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Friendly reminder to rise and but I don't have enough sleep.
My voice gets very low. It all the way, is it?
This show has moved every morning? Great love you listen
(00:25):
to every mornings, every morning. You track it up every morning,
Daddy Elvis Duran in the Morning show. I love days
like this. I'll tell you why when we have a
guest that can come in who smells nice. Oh yes,
but also can share with us the power of having
(00:48):
the courage to listen to your voice, and when your
voice isn't good for you, change your voice. It's one
of the great things about this book called the Greatness Mindset.
Unlock the power of your mind and live your best
life today. Lewis House is here. Hi, Lewis, good to
see you, Good to see you. It's good to have
you here. Can we go ahead and clear the ear
of the negativity? Let's do it. So you were in
this iHeart building yesterday on some sort of business. Yes,
(01:11):
none of our business on your business yet, But so
what happened Gandhi? No? No from your perspective, Lewis, Well,
I'm just, you know, minding my own business, trying to
be a nice human being, walking around enjoying my life,
and I'm I go into an elevator here, uh, and
just get slammed the Elbert just slams on me in
the middle of my body as I try to enter
the elevator. Why is that? I don't know your your
(01:33):
co host is slammed it on me because she didn't
want it to enter the elevator. So did you pull
that trick? Gandhi? Hello Lewis, and we're both from Ohio.
If you were from Michigan and I would understand. All right,
So you were on the elevator and you saw you
saw a body coming towards you, and you said closed door,
close door close, did the thing where there are people
in the elevator, and then he was a late guy
to the elevator. So I was like, oh, not today,
(01:53):
not on my watch to try to get somewhere. But
I told him I tried to do it. I was like,
usually when someone's late the elevator, I hit the door
closed button on them. But he made it in and
he said he said, yeah, I would do that too.
Then we move on from that. Yes, you know, I
really a really good friend. Matthew Hussey said, you got it.
(02:15):
You gotta ask Lewis next time he's in town, if
you can come in and talk to you. I've been
going over your story. Interesting story, yeah, uh gosh, doing
college football and then an injury kept you from that
dream happening. Your father got very sick and you dealt
(02:35):
with that. You know, these are the challenges in life.
Whether you have big ones as dramatic as those or
less dramatic, there's still challenges. And you find yourself in
a ditch and you find yourself wondering, well, what is
my what's my play? Yeah, so tell me about it?
Well interially, because I became very successful in athletics, and
then I got injured and I transferred that skill set
(02:56):
of setting goals, of going after a vision of working
hard and being consists in business. And ten years ago
I moved to La from New York City, and for
whatever reason, everything started to break down in my life.
But I was being quote unquote successful in certain elements.
So I had a successful business, I was making money,
I was healthy. But for whatever reason, I was just
(03:17):
breaking down in every relationship in my life. And I
remember being stuck in La traffic. I don't know if
you've been to La much and stuck it. It takes
like two hours to go two miles right. I was
stuck in LA traffic, and I remember thinking to myself,
everything is breaking down inside of me and every relationship
around me, and I feel stuck. And I was literally
stuck in LA traffic, not happy for moving from New
(03:40):
York because I love New York City to LA for
a girl that didn't work out, by the way, that
was one of the things that felt stuck. And I
remember looking everyone around me in the cars like screaming
and swearing at each other and flipping people off, honking
the horn and just angry. And people are going through
that right now while listening to this exactly, and I
remember thinking, I feel stuck in everyone else around me
(04:01):
as we're stocked in traffic is kind of like frustrated
and cutting people off and being angry. And I go, man,
I got to find a way to overcome this stuck
feeling in my life physically getting out of this traffic,
but also emotionally and mentally. And that's when I started
going down this path of seeking out mentors, guides, teachers,
therapist coaches to help me overcoming this stuck feeling. And
(04:24):
that's been a ten year journey now, so I guess
it's safe to say you're no longer stuck. I think
we're always a work in progress. So it's not like
I'm you know, I don't feel stuck. It doesn't work
that way. Yeah, But it's just we're always growing, we're evolving.
We always have challenges that are going to face us
at different seasons of life right as we grow and overcome.
So how do we address this? Well, first of all,
(04:46):
you have to realize there's something to address, and you
realize that in the middle of a traffic jam in
Los Angeles or traffic jam in your life. Well, people
are listening right now, and I maybe one of them.
To be perfectly honest, where we're in I don't want
to use the word rut, but that's sort of it
stuck in place. Really why I don't know? And well,
and the reason I don't know is I haven't taken
the time or haven't had the courage to try to
(05:08):
unpack that stuff. Yeah, I think we got to ask
ourselves courageous questions. It's one of the things I talked
about a lot. And if things are coasting or we're
just in the mundane or the consistency of life, and
we don't stop to reflect. I think an off season
is always a great time to ask ourselves these courageous questions,
do I want to keep going down this path that
I'm going down. That's why in sports you take a season,
(05:30):
you take the off season to reflect and say do
I want to play the sport next season. We just
saw Tom Brady finally retire for the second time. He reflected,
he asked these questions. And if we don't stop to
ask the courageous questions, we can feel stuck. We can
feel trapped, we can feel like we're in a rut,
like we're overwhelmed, like what's the purpose? What's the meaning
of my life right now? And I think it's important
(05:50):
to us those questions. So what I like to question
is kind of what I have to ask people is
kind of a vulnerable question. I don't know if you're
open to try to look an avulnerable questions? Well, everybody, sure,
we can all try. Yeah, let's put everyone on the cross.
Maybe my nemesis, you know, maybe maybe she can start
to say something vulnerability. We have no problem with vulnerability.
This is a self assessment question. So if you're driving
(06:13):
and you're stuck in traffic right now. Ask yourself this
question on a scale of one to ten. Call it
the inner piece, self acceptance, self love scale. Let's just
work with me here, call it the inner piece. I
feel peaceful, I feel loved, I feel accepted for who
I am in my life. Scale one ten, ten being
(06:34):
you love and accept yourself fully and you have a
lot of peace in your heart emotionally, one being you
just are frustrated. You're angry, you don't have peace, you
don't have clarity, none of that. You don't have love
for yourself. You feel frustrated all the time, you feel
stuck all the time. Okay again, where would you be
on that one to ten scale. We'll start with our
nemesis over Gandhi. Yes, I think I'm probably at an
(06:57):
eight with inner peace. That's great. Yeah, I feel really
good self love, self acceptance. You're you're in a great
place in your life and your relationships, in your career.
You feel like I'm I'm I'm working, I'm going great.
I think so. And it took a long time to
get here, and it hasn't been that way my whole life.
But I would say for the past few years. That's
definitely where I've been. Now. When it comes to how
(07:18):
do I feel as far as being accepted by others,
that number would change drastically. But I think that that
also goes to the fact that I have inner peace.
I don't really care. That's that's the key. Because we
can't control how other people think about us, what they
say about us, what they if they judge us or
they love us. But if we accept and love ourselves,
that's the key, right and Gandhi Gandhi is the light
when it comes to that approach. What about you, Danielle,
I feel like kind of the same seven or an eight?
(07:40):
Are we disappointing you that we're feeling I feel like
I'm very happy. My family's good. Um, you know, I
don't know. I'm happy with my job. I just feel
like I wake up every day in a good mood.
My health is good. That's great, amazing, amazing. This is
a very complex question to answer, and I'll tell you
why I'm on an eight as well. But you did
(08:01):
use a word called clarity. Clarity I have. I'm a one,
I have a two, So I mean some things you're
an eight or nine, but then other things you're a
one or self exemptance and love them for myself. Absolutely.
The clarity is kind of a lost, foggy thing and
one of the one of the elements of a greatness
mindset versus a powerless mindset. This is not a make
wrong good or bad, right or wrong. This is just
(08:23):
is it useful and effective in my life? Is the
lack of a meaningful mission makes us feel more powerless
in our life. When we are clear on our meaningful mission,
which is part of the greatness mindset, we feel more abundant,
we feel more light, we feel more focused, energized. So
it's when we're lacking clarity. You could be at the
top of the world in your career like you are.
(08:44):
You're you've been doing this for what twenty something years more,
But you could be at the top. You could be
at the top. Here's an interesting thing. I asked this
to Drew Barrymore yesterday on her show, and she says
she's a five okay, And you can be super successful.
You can be a happy person and still feel stuck
or just unclear and feel like there's something inside I
feel like I'm not sure what to do next. I
(09:06):
feel stuck and again This is not to make wrong
or anyone's bad or anything. It's just is that helping
you in this courageous question, this reflection point, whether it's
the end of a chapter, the end of a career,
the end of a relationship, or just in the middle
of the show right now asking ourselves these things, or
a middle traffic asking all right, is everything working the
way I wanted to work? If not, that's okay, but
(09:29):
I've got some work to do well okay. By the way,
just reminds you the greatest mindset unlocked, the power of
your mind and live your best life today. The book
from Lewis House which is already a New York Times
bedseller look at that, or the author is a best
selling author. And this will be of course at the top.
But let me clarify something with you asking the big
questions like who are you? And what do you want
(09:51):
to portray to the world? And we were talking last
sign at dinner another conversations like what's your playbook? What
is your playbook? Look, you're on the field, what exactly
are you there to do? Where do you want to run?
Where do you want to go? And how do you
want to get there? And are you on the right field.
Exactly are you on the right field? And you have
a game plan for taking action to getting what you want?
So can you clarify for like, just anyone USA driving
(10:15):
work right now? Apply it to a teacher, to a doctor,
to a nurse, to an anyone like I feel like
a little loss, but they can't figure the answers out.
I think the enemy of greatness is lacking a meaningful mission.
And I believe anyone can be great. And it takes
us being clear on what a meaningful mission looks like
to us, what does a mission? What does a meaningful mission?
(10:36):
A meaningful mission is you taking on and declaring the
life you want to live that is fulfilling to you
and also in service and support to others. It's not
sacrificing yourself to give to everyone else around you. It's not.
It's not giving up your health and your dreams to
just be there for others like I know a lot
of people do. It's doing both. How can I optimize
(10:58):
my health? How can I optimize the love and the
peace for myself to pursue the dreams that I have,
the things that fulfill me, that light me up, but
also inspire the people around me in that pursuit, using
my gifts and talents to pursue it and help others.
And that's that's enough, being of service to others, scent
and lighting yourself up as you said, as Diamond would
(11:19):
say in there, like make your life pop, be popping. Yeah,
and that's how to do it, be popping. But I
think you've got to define in one sentence what your
meaningful mission is so we are clear. How do you
do that? This is where I think a lot of
people are lost. There's three piece for this process of
discovering your meaningful mission. And it doesn't mean it's going
to happen overnight. It doesn't mean you know, you might
(11:42):
get clear right away. It might take a season of
figuring things out, trying a bunch of things. It might
take six months, a year, years until you get really
clear on what that is. So you don't have to
beat yourself up if you're not clear right now. But
it's figuring out number one first pe your passions, your likes,
your interests, your curiosity, and just yourselves. What would I
do if I could do anything and I didn't have
(12:04):
to worry about money? What would light me up? What
would make my life pop something I'm excited about. Your
first P is your passion. The second P is your power.
What are the talents and the gifts that you have
that are unique to you? And I didn't think I
had a lot of gifts. After sports was done, I
went into the business world not knowing anything about business,
but I had goal setting skills. I had the ability
(12:24):
to connect with people. I had the ability to ask
interesting questions, but I didn't think that would transfer. But
it was a power of mine. So get clear on
your superpowers. And the third thing is figuring out the
problem you want to solve. What is the problem I
want to solve in my world. It doesn't have to
be even to cure cancer in the world, but how
do I want to solve problems in my community, with
my family, with my friends, and in my society. So
(12:47):
if you can start to ask yourself these three things,
and I go over exercise in the book how to
kind of like massage and figure those out more. But
getting clear on those will help you create a one
sentence mission statement is to serve and impact one hundred
million lives weekly to help them improve the quality of
their life. That is my mission. And you do. There
(13:07):
are different there are different mechanisms that I can do
that with, and it can evolve over time on how
I do that. But that gives me direction. It doesn't
mean it's actually going to happen. It gives me direction
on what to say yes or no to where to
put my energy, time and attention to. It doesn't mean
I'm not going to have challenges and adversity and problems.
It just means I'm more focused and I know where
(13:29):
I'm going. Your podcast is huge? How many hundreds of millions?
I think I have six hundred million downloads total? Okay, yeah,
not shabby, Yeah it's not actually, but it really tells
a story like why would six hundred million downloads need
to occur in this world of ours? Well, because people
have a desire to be better. I'm not This conversation
with Lewis isn't only about people who are lost or
(13:51):
it's It's also about people who don't want to be lost.
They are motivated and people that want to stay feeling good.
You know, the reason I keep having coaches in my
life and this and relationships and health and have mentors
and friends that inspire me is because I want to
stay feeling good. I don't want to stop. It's an
addiction as a habit. Hey, Andrew, Andrew, Yes, Andrew and Orlando,
(14:14):
Welcome to the show. It's a guy for it's a
man from Florida. It's got to be an interesting story.
That's no. I'm from New York, but I live down here. Now.
What's going on? Andrew? How? How is what Lewis is
saying resonating with you? Yeah? I just kind of I
heard him say, you know, the feeling stuck part, and
in my last place of employment, I won't name names, Um,
I just kind of felt stuck. I didn't really know
(14:36):
I was in a rut, right, you know, I didn't
know what to do. Um. You know, the paychecks were
coming in, it was saying the bills, so you know
that part was great and all, but everything else was horrible.
And I didn't know what to do. And you know,
I see some one of my good friends around me
making big strides in his career, and I said to myself,
I was like, you know what, if he could do it,
if anyone could do it, I could do it right.
(14:56):
And I kind of took that step on a whim.
I I quit my job without another the job, and
I probably spent a good month or two figuring out
what I wanted to do, and now I'm at a
place and I couldn't be happier. So it just kind
of resonated with me about the feeling stuck part. There's
the word courage is very relevant here. I mean, it
does take courage, and it takes some It takes courage
to make that leap. But also it seems like to me,
(15:19):
you just to be a really brave person not to
try that leap and just try to keep on going
with what you're doing, that it takes so much effort
to not put an effort to me, I don't know, Yeah,
I agree, I think it. You know, if there's a
period of time where it's like enough is enough, If
you feel like you're so stuck, you're so trapped for
so long in one place, uh, then you don't want
(15:40):
to live in regret for ten twenty more years saying
well I didn't have the courage to leap, to go
somewhere else or try something different. I can't wait to
quit today. What'd your dad say? Well, Andrew, what did
your dad say? He always says, if you're sick and
tired to being sick and tired to do something about it.
If you like in anxiety or like something that's holding
you back with you don't have the confidence in yourself
(16:01):
to make that leap. And you know, maybe you do
have the talent, but you just there's some mental block
going on. There's two things. One, we've got to face
the things that cause us doubt insecurity. I believe self
doubt is the killer of all dreams. We can have
all the talent, all the skills, all the accomplishments, all
the schooling or whatever it might be, and we can
have everyone else telling us you're great, you can do it,
(16:23):
you're the best. But if we don't learn to believe,
it'll never happen. We'll always buckle under pressure, we'll always
be scared. So we've got to face the things that
cause us to doubt and be insecure the most, and
we need support in doing that. I don't think we
should do it alone. Find support, Find a mentor a
friend and advise or a coach to guide you in
that process. And what about people on like a micro
(16:45):
level of this. So let's say there's somebody who says
I'm a single mom, I have three kids. I don't
have the luxury to quit my job and just start
something new. Where do they start with little things that
they can change? And I'm not Yeah, go ahead, good question,
and I don't think you should. I think and probably
had some you know, financial reserves in the bank where
he could leap into, you know, saying I don't know
(17:05):
what my next job is going to be. I never
recommend jumping out of something right away. I always recommend
having a conversation with the people at your work and saying, hey,
how can I make this better for myself? What can
I do? I'm not happy right now, and I want
to make sure that I'm really happy and you're happy
with me. So I think first having those uncomfortable conversations
that people don't like having with their boss or their
team to resolve issues first at work. But if it's
(17:28):
really not the mission they're on, they're not aligned with
the values of this place, I think it's finding out, Okay,
where do I really Where would be my ideal dream
place to go locally or virtually now that you can
work almost anywhere in the world virtually, and how can
I start creating a game plan around where I'd like
to go in the future, not leaving right away, but
just start reviewing and researching what that could be interesting
(17:50):
text here, I'm a counsel person. I serve our city,
I work hard, I take care of my family. I'm
holding on by a thread, holding on by a thread.
It's a very, very very visual. Well, usually when we're
when we're holding on by a thread, or we feel
that stuck or trapped in life, there's something inside of
us that has yet to process fully. There's something inside
(18:11):
of us that has yet to realize, and that could
be in breakdown and relationships. This is what I felt. Again.
I had success externally, but I was holding on by
a thread internally, and I was in breakdown mode, and
I was like, why am I so anxious? Why am
I so stressed? And it really starts with two things.
I don't know if anyone saw Creed they, let's say
Creed three recently. Well, I don't want to spoil the
(18:33):
whole thing, but I won't spoil it by this story.
But the main character, Michael B. Jordan, he is he
has won the world championships right, he is the greatest
boxer of our time. He is have all the money's
in the top of the Hollywood Hills. He's got all
of it, and he retires at the top. But then
he's an emotional breakdown. He can't open up with his wife,
(18:56):
he doesn't connect with his daughter's he's breaking down and
has someone anxiety, And you think, why you have all
the success in the world, But there's something he has
an addressed from his past. There's something he hasn't faced,
and his past continues to chase him. As he was
running away from his past his whole life. He was
going after success. He was going after the career, of
the job, the marriage, the kids, the family. But if
(19:18):
we're running away from something that is scaring us still
that we don't want people to know about. Another tenet
of the powerless mindset versus greatness mindset concealing past pains.
If we hold on to our past and we don't
process it, it will continue to make us feel like
we're holding on by a threat. So we must learn
to process the things that have hurt us, that have
upset us, the relationship breakdowns we have, and if we
(19:40):
just mask them or run from them, they'll keep chasing us. Wow.
But you know, chasing the past and figuring this out
and uncovering these things. It's not easy and it's it's painful,
but it's necessary. Eventually the thread will snap if you
don't do it. Well. I'm glad we don't just see
Creed anymore. One more thing and then I don't know,
(20:03):
we gotta process all of this. And then I got
to tell you about the book in the podcast because
I want everyone to participate in what you do. Scary
was talking about how, you know, how do you drown
out the outside noise, which is always sort of an
obstacle in achieving missions, and I guess this could lead
to procrastination, It could lead to not being focused on
what your goal is. It's you know, Gandhi over here,
(20:25):
who's an eight consistently she's learned how to accept and
love herself for her past. You know, you don't feel
at an eight consistently in all areas of your life
if you aren't peace with yourself, and so you're going
to be constantly trying to drown out the past. If
you don't accept and love you, if you don't learn
how to say I believe in me, I'm acceptance of
(20:45):
where I'm at my life. Maybe there's some mistakes I've
made or things I wish I did differently, but I
accept those things now because I can't change the past.
So it's learning how to process it, and so you
can be at peace even when you were saying, well,
maybe other people judge me, I don't like certain things,
but you and you accept things, and so that makes
you not feel overwhelmed or frustrated all the time, except
(21:06):
for when you're trying to close the elevator. I've learned
for my past mistake not to do that anymore, right, Yes,
because you know the guest is coming on the next thing. Well,
I mean I wouldn't, I would say, out of all
of us in this room, and maybe Daniel will agree.
Gandhi is really great at letting things roll off. Yeah,
that's for sure. Why do you think that is when
a lot of people can hold on to grudges forever. Yeah. So,
(21:28):
not to get too deep here, but I think being
Indian and growing up in Ohio where you know that
we were oh h I owe. Actually, um, I was
always the other so I never fit in and I
just kind of let it go at a younger age
because everybody around me was different from me, and I
was always a different person. So there's certain things even
if I wanted to change them, which I don't like
(21:50):
my skin color, that you can't. So you just have
to figure out, Okay, well, this is me and this
is how it's always going to be. So if these
people hate me for that, they're gonna hate me for that.
But I love me and I love me for that.
So what are you gonna do? Exactly? Gay, you'll get strong?
Well here, I'm white Scottish boy. Let me try to
get try to get into the spin. Okay, talk about
(22:11):
the podcast. What's not even the School of Greatness is
the podcast? Hold on, let me write this down. The
School and Greatness, the School of Greatness, and I started
it ten years ago. Literally it happened when I was
stuck in traffic. I'm not kidding about this. I was
stuck in traffic for I don't know, one hour and
a half. Traffics have been very good to you, but
it has been good. And sometimes our biggest breakdowns lead
to our biggest breakthroughs. So don't be upset when you're
in the mess. Know that this is helping you transform
(22:33):
and break through into something greater for yourself. So people
try to run away from it, allow yourself to see, well,
what is this teaching me right now? So I was
in traffic and I started calling two friends that I
knew out a podcast. This was ten years ago. No
one even knew what a podcast was, right, And I
was like, I feel like I need to learn some lessons.
I've had a lot of false ego, false confidence most
of my life that's got to me certain results, but
(22:54):
left me feeling empty inside. I need to humble myself
and learn from everyone. So it's been ten years of
asking questions from the greatest leaders, the greatest minds, athletes, billionaires, therapists,
doctors to learn how to improve my own life, and
then being the guinea pig, I've just tried to share
those lessons with others. So it's the School of Greatness.
That's the podcast. The book we're talking about from Lewis
(23:15):
Howes is The Greatness Mindset, Unlocked the power of your
mind and live your best life today. And what a
great time we've had with you. And they said it's
going to be on audible in a couple of weeks,
and he narrated it. So if you liked his voice
and you like because sometimes I feel like when you
read it, especially a book like this, maybe you get
more out of listening to the person that wrote it
(23:37):
because the way you what's the word I'm looking for
your energy, it's your attention, it's your how you present it.
You know it might might even help you more. Plus
you have that ballsy residence. You guys just got great
equipment here. It just makes you sound good. I know
when we turn off the Lewis Howes the greatest mindset,
(23:57):
unlocked the power of your mind and live your best
life to gain today. And of course at the School
of Greatness is the podcast. Thank you for coming, Thank you.
I appreciate it. And just keep an eye on GANDHI.
One time you guys, one time, thank you, Thank you guys.
The Mercedes Bands and Interview Lounge Shaggy, I gotta come
check the new studio out man. You have to. You
(24:18):
got Rebecca with you because we love her. The first
time I was meeting Elvis, she got so exaid. I'm like,
you know, I met Nelson Mandela, I met the Queen,
I met the Pope, and you're excited for Elvis Duran.
They say you can't have your cake and eat it too,
the equally dairy and safe Mercedes Benz Today and family
begs to Differ. Learn more about the world class to
(24:39):
Dan's at MBUSA dot com. Elvis Durand in the Morning Show,
the brand new Galaxy S twenty three Ultra finally here.
Get ready for a smartphone that levels up your mobile gaming.
With Samsung's fastest mobile processor ever, in a long lasting battery,
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(24:59):
now at sam msung dot com
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Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang
Ding dong! Join your culture consultants, Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang, on an unforgettable journey into the beating heart of CULTURE. Alongside sizzling special guests, they GET INTO the hottest pop-culture moments of the day and the formative cultural experiences that turned them into Culturistas. Produced by the Big Money Players Network and iHeartRadio.