No Sex In Front Of Elf On The Shelf

Megan's kindergarten teacher calls dad, to let him know the elf on the shelf has spotted some ....adult behavior.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Don't answer the phone. Elvis Duran, the Elvis Duran phone
tappen Danielle phone time.

Speaker 2 (00:05):
Oh boy, here all right, So Carol is playing a
tap on her husband, Chris. I am calling as their
kindergarten teacher for their daughter. You know, they have elf
on the shelf talk at school, and we've got an issue.

Speaker 3 (00:19):
You were a phone tap from Danielle.

Speaker 1 (00:21):
Let's listen in here we you go.

Speaker 3 (00:22):
Hello, Hi?

Speaker 1 (00:23):
Is this Megan's dead?

Speaker 3 (00:25):
It Hi?

Speaker 2 (00:26):
This is missus Blater from the kindergarten teacher from it
Will be an elementary.

Speaker 3 (00:29):
Oh yeah, what's up?

Speaker 1 (00:31):
All the kids come.

Speaker 2 (00:31):
In every day and they talk about their elf on
the shelf and I know hers his name Pippen. And
she was saying to the kids that she heard mommy
and daddy in the room where Pippen was and Mommy
was screaming, and she thinks Santa is not going to
come now, yes, because And then I asked her, I said, well,
what are you talking about? And she said, Pippen was

(00:52):
in mommy and Daddy's room in the morning, hiding, and
mommy and Daddy were doing something and Mommy was screaming
and I don't know.

Speaker 1 (00:59):
And then when she started to make like moaning sounds
like mommy was going.

Speaker 3 (01:02):
Oh she did say this in front of the class.

Speaker 1 (01:05):
She said it in front of her friends.

Speaker 3 (01:07):
Oh my god, I mean, what is.

Speaker 1 (01:08):
Going on at your house?

Speaker 3 (01:10):
What? What's going on at my house?

Speaker 1 (01:12):
Are you guys doing it in front of the elf
on the shelf?

Speaker 3 (01:16):
What kind of questions? I think it's a very land
to have sex in front of an elf. I forgot
that thing was even there. It's just part of the
holiday decoration.

Speaker 1 (01:23):
I'm guessing you know, you didn't even know she was listening.
She probably got up to go to the bathroom or something.

Speaker 3 (01:27):
I had no idea she heard what was going on,
but she did, And.

Speaker 2 (01:31):
Now every child in the kindergarten class also knows that
the elf on the shelfs so mommy and daddy having sex.

Speaker 3 (01:36):
If my daughter did something embarrassing, I'm sorry, but this
is not the way to handles to call me at home.
My sex life is none of your understand that.

Speaker 1 (01:43):
But I really think that you know, I.

Speaker 3 (01:44):
Think you do understand it, because you keep talking to
me about this. This is none of your business.

Speaker 2 (01:48):
Okay, But when the other children go home and tell
their parents this story, and then I have to deal
with the other parents calling.

Speaker 3 (01:54):
Okay, how is that mom?

Speaker 1 (01:56):
Excuse me, sir, how is that my problem?

Speaker 3 (01:58):
When your childhood knows that I said? Like I said,
my sex life is none of your business. I'm sorry
if you create a problem for you, but it's not
my problem. And I don't need you call me up
at home and give me grief about my sex life
or what goes on my house. What goes on to
my house is none of your business.

Speaker 1 (02:12):
Because it becomes my business when all of a sudden
the children in mine affecting.

Speaker 3 (02:16):
I apologize all these people or something. For God's sake, Lady,
what do you want from me?

Speaker 2 (02:21):
You up on me?

Speaker 3 (02:23):
All right?

Speaker 1 (02:23):
So you're going to call him and we're just going
to listen in.

Speaker 3 (02:26):
Yeah, well, I'm talking about the store on the way home.
Do you have any ideas what you want for dinner?
Chicken sounds good? Yeah, I don't get some time. You
will not believe what this happened. Megan's future called why.
Megan was telling everybody about the elf on the shelf
at school. She heard you and me having sex and
the elf on the shelf in the room, and she
heard you making noise. She heard you yelling and screaming

(02:49):
and moaning and and wait, well, I know I can't
believe this, so that wait wait.

Speaker 2 (02:54):
Wait wait, somebody called and told you this.

Speaker 3 (02:56):
Megan was telling everybody this at school, and Missus Willard
was in there listening to it. But then Missus Order
calls me and she says, what kind of the hell
did you guys do in there? What are you guys
doing it? I kind of went off on her. You
yelled at the teacher. She tested me. I know, but
what is she doing call me about my sex life?
At least she didn't walk in on us, right if
she saw you there in those nice little across those

(03:17):
dandies that I just got.

Speaker 1 (03:19):
I was there.

Speaker 3 (03:19):
I know. You don't have to describe it. Man in
the cris, I know, stop coming out. Why don't you
come on home. Don't stop something, Please stop stop what
You're embarrassing me. You're embarrassing me, You're embarrassed on You
were not embarrassed the other night you were in you
were I know, I know, Stop it now. Okay, what

(03:42):
is your problem? What is going on? Stop you being recorded?
Right now? By who you are being recorded? Okay, you're
being reported by me. What, what the hell is going on?
We're trying to phone tat you? What?

Speaker 1 (04:02):
Yes, this is.

Speaker 2 (04:05):
Danielle man Arrow from Elvis Durant in the Morning shown.

Speaker 3 (04:08):
My parents listen to this. Yeah, I know. I'm just
trying to talk to you. Oh my god.

Speaker 1 (04:15):
The Elvis Duran phone tap. This phone tab was pre
recorded with permission granted by all participates.

Speaker 2 (04:22):
The Elvis Duran phone tab only on Elvis Duran in
the Morning Show