The Gray Area

In this episode I talk about revelations I've had this week... specifically about the role of "enmeshment" in issues of estrangement. In summary, enmeshment is the heart of EVERYTHING relationship problems and I believe MOST people are enmeshed. I explain what it is, what it looks like, how I believe it came to be, and examples of it/what to do about it. It is not the end for you!!!

Find me on TikTok, Instragram, and YouTube @Codep...

Intellectualizing is what is holding you back in your relationships! It can show up as defensiveness or being "logical" when the situation calls for presence, attunement, compassion and curiosity. It can hold you back in your relationship with your KIDS especially! Learn everything you need to know to change this behavior so you can finally learn the felt sense of connection. 

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In this podcast we put a pause on Conversations with Sierra to address the videos I posted this week! I'll get into the 4 skills of emotion regulation to prevent crashouts (self-compassion, BEND, hate lists, and forecasting your emotional weather) rumination, emotional eating, gratitude, and BRIEFLY financial generosity and emotional negligence. It is not a very organized episode, just a lot of me yapping!! But I hope you find some...

This is part 1 of Conversations with Sierra. Sierra is a vibrant, intelligent, goofy 25 year old who happens to be estranged from her mother. This is not necessarily uncommon in this day and age but the part of it that is...is that her mother posts about this estrangement online. Hear the story of how Sierra grew up, what led to the estrangement, and how she's found peace today. If you are struggling with your estrangement, she hop...

Kate sits down with fellow TikToker Sister Kathryn, a Muslim author and mom of 5. They initially did not have a very pleasant interaction, but wanted to turn it into a learning experience for others. Watch the TikTok that started it all, and then listen in as they discuss what therapists need to know about their Muslim clients. 

Watch full video on YouTube

Find Sister Kathryn on TikTok or her website

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part 3/3 of the Class with Kate series on "being"

With all the tragedy and loss happening in the world, learning to just "be" kind of doesn't make sense. It doesn't seem useful or helpful.. like, what's the point? Well, I argue that life is about more than productivity and "doing." And "being" does NOT mean escaping to the mountaintop like a monk. Find out what it can mean for you and make sure to listen and give feedback on this e...

Do you identify with the term "empath" but are not sure what to make of it? If not "empath," what about highly sensitive person (HSP), codependent, or anxious attachment? If you've REALLY scoured the internet, you might've come up with the term "enmeshed." If any of these apply to you, you might struggle with boundaries and standing up for yourself. But the good news is, this is NOT YOUR FAULT. Listen in as we delve into the practi...

Do you not know how to just "be"? Does it feel either overwhelming or empty when you sit down and take a second to relax? If so, you are NOT alone- it is so common for high-functional people to go to therapy after feeling this way. But DON'T WORRY, this is fixable! Let's get you your "sauce" back.

Listen and give feedback on this episode's insta post

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Kate meets with therapist, author, speaker, and fellow TikTok creator KC Davis. They met about 6 months ago, when Kate challenged one of KC's TikTok videos on anger and boundaries. KC responded, but a resolution between the two was not found. In part 1, Kate gets to know the person behind the creator, and part 2, airing on KC's platform "Struggle Care" November 6th, will answer the question- can they come to an understanding? 

Watc...

Kate interviews Meg, who is the therapist behind the popular Instagram account, @antiworktherapist. In her private practice, Meg treats mostly therapists that are just burnt TF out on the "work" side of therapy. Listen in as Kate finds out what really happens in these sessions and how Meg navigates both her clients and her own mental health in the search for work-life balance.

Watch on YouTube- https://youtu.be/VjjCTh9y-fw

Also on ...

Kate and Kelly discuss one of Kelly's biggest pet peeves- fitness influencers. Kelly starts off by mentioning a particular fitness influencer on TikTok, and explains how their message can be harmful to teenagers specifically. Kate has a different perspective and comes to the influencer's defense, having a social media following herself.  See what conclusions they come to and where responsibility lies in the spirit of "restoring rel...

Kelly, 27 yo queer LPC, and Kate, 30 yo straight MFT masters student (both married to men), have an open dialogue about sexuality and gender. Watch them model how to directly discuss these things with friends with a tone of sensitivity, curiosity, and compassion.

Watch on YouTube- https://youtu.be/nMjPEo5r58w

Also on Spotify, Apple, and Google Podcasts

Subscribe to get updates- www.restoringrelationships.com

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You met Chandler in episode 4a, and we circle back to get specifics on how he had the conversation about his pornography addiction with loved ones. Learn how he found recovery after starting porn usage at 14, getting help at 18, to now being 25, married, and a successful app creator.

Watch on YouTube- https://youtu.be/gJPrOHg4Jzc

Also on Spotify, Apple, and Google Podcasts

Subscribe to get updates- www.restoringrelationships.com

F...

Our last episode in the series on Porn Addiction- see episode (4) for quick intro and context.

Kate met Blake through their MFT program in Nashville, TN. Blake has graduated and started his own counseling practice, where he primarily sees men. Kate called upon Blake to add another layer to the conversation around porn addiction, and he offers unique insight into the struggle.

Watch on YouTube- https://youtu.be/SPtklYnVBh8

Also on S...

Continuing the series on Porn Addiction- see episode (4) for quick intro and context.

James is a regular guest on the show- you might remember him from episode 1, where he and Kate discussed differing theories on emotions. Kate wanted to involve him in the conversation about porn addiction, since it is part of what led him to therapy at 22. They discuss male friendship, emotional intimacy, and how systemic forces prevent the two. 

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See previous episode (4) for quick intro and context- 

Chandler struggled with porn addiction started at 14 years old. He got help at 18 and is now 25, married, and created an app called Relay to help others heal. We love a passionate GenZ going for it! Listen in as Kate first explores the ethics of altruistic sponsorship and influencing, leading to Chandler sharing his personal story and what started it all.

Watch on YouTube- http...