After the Affair

When infidelity isn’t a one-off, but a repeated pattern, the pain cuts deeper. Serial cheating raises questions not just about what happened, but about who your partner really is, and whether change is even possible.

In this episode, Luke explores the often misunderstood world of serial cheaters. What defines them? What signs should you look out for? How should you respond if you discover multiple betrayals? And what message is the...

What if the questions that keep looping in your mind, the ones you’re too ashamed or exhausted to voice, aren’t just valid, but shared by thousands of others going through betrayal?

In this second part of our Q&A series (Listen to episode 146 for the first part), I answer the raw, unfiltered questions that most people keep buried:

• Why do I feel ashamed in public, even though I did nothing wrong?
• Why does forgiveness feel l...

Triggers after betrayal can feel sudden, overwhelming, and impossible to control. But what if they’re not signs that you’re broken, but signals from your nervous system that you still need safety, care, and attention? In this episode, we break down what a trigger actually is (spoiler: it’s not drama), how it works, and why you don’t need to be trigger-free to be healing. Whether you're rebuilding with your partner or learning to tr...

When a woman cheats, the cultural narrative often skips over the man left behind. The one quietly carrying the weight. The one told to “move on,” “man up,” or “take it on the chin.”

This episode is for him.

If you’ve been betrayed by the woman you trusted, if you’re left wrestling with confusion, anger, self-doubt, or shame, this episode gives you language, perspective, and grounding.

Join me Luke Shillings, as together I'll guide ...

When a man in a committed relationship starts giving you attention, it can feel like lightning in a bottle, powerful, validating, intoxicating. But what if that spark isn’t about love, but escape?

In this episode, Luke Shillings speaks directly to the women caught in the shadow of secrecy and fantasy bonds, and to the men who pursue them.

Is it real love, or emotional outsourcing? Together, we unpack the truth behind the pursuit, t...

You’ve rebuilt. Or maybe you’ve started again. On the surface, things seem okay, your partner’s doing the work, or your new relationship looks healthy. And yet… something still feels off. Not wrong exactly, just off.

In this episode, we explore that subtle unease that often lingers after betrayal, the one that can leave you second-guessing your instincts, your partner, and even yourself. You’ll learn why your body might be picking ...

When you’re in the thick of healing after betrayal, it’s not just the pain that drains you. it’s the unanswered questions that loop endlessly in your mind.

In this Q&A episode, I respond to four of the most emotionally exhausting questions I hear in my coaching work and online communities. These aren’t the questions people ask once, they’re the ones they ask over and over, quietly, in their own head.

We’re covering:

• How to...

You’re texting first. Waiting for replies. Making excuses. Holding on, hoping they’ll come around. But deep down, something feels off. This isn’t just patience… it’s one-sided love.

In this episode, we unpack the emotional and psychological toll of loving someone who doesn’t meet you halfway. From fantasy bonds and false hope to reclaiming your power and choosing yourself again, this is your compassionate wake-up call, and your inv...

After betrayal, it’s easy to feel like you’re stuck reacting, trying to manage your partner’s behaviour, walking on eggshells, or questioning your own emotional limits.

But here’s the truth:

You don’t need their permission to protect your peace.

In this episode, we unpack what real boundaries look like in the aftermath of infidelity, not as walls or punishments, but as powerful acts of self-respect. You’ll learn:

• Why boundarie...

After betrayal, it’s easy to believe that your best days are behind you. That the pain you’re in now will always be part of you. But what if this isn’t the end of your story? What if it’s the beginning of something deeper, truer, and more aligned with who you really are?

In this uplifting episode, I share the often untold truth about healing from infidelity: that it doesn’t just break you, it can build you. From rock bottom, we tal...

Disgust isn’t just a passing reaction. For many betrayed partners, it’s a visceral, body-based response that no amount of logic or reassurance can dissolve.

In this episode, we unpack one of the most misunderstood trauma responses after infidelity: disgust. Why it shows up. What it’s really saying. And how to respond to it without shame.

This is for anyone who’s ever recoiled at the sight or touch of the person they used to love, a...

Understanding why someone betrayed you can be helpful. It can explain what happened. It can offer context. It can even soften the sting, temporarily.

But it doesn’t erase the pain.

In this episode, we unpack the emotional tug-of-war between empathy and accountability after infidelity. We explore how understanding your partner’s internal struggles, their fears, avoidance, or disconnection doesn’t mean you're condoning their choices....

Betrayal leaves behind more than heartbreak, it leaves questions that echo in your mind day and night.

“Was it real?”

“Did I miss the signs?”

“Is this my fault?”

“Will I ever trust again?”

In this episode, I, Luke Shillings, walk you through the most common thoughts and questions that come up in the aftermath of infidelity, based on real conversations from hundreds of discovery calls and coaching sessions.

Whether you're feeling st...

Have you ever been told you're too emotional, or secretly believed it yourself?

If conflict overwhelms you, if you shut down or spiral in arguments, if you find yourself apologising just for feeling… this episode is for you.

Luke explores how what looks like emotional reactivity is often a learned survival strategy, rooted in fear, not dysfunction. From childhood patterns to nervous system responses, you'll gain insight into why ce...

You know your partner’s betrayal wasn’t your fault.

You understand the logic.

But still, deep down, you’re stuck.

Still needing reassurance. Still bracing for the next emotional shift. Still terrified of being too much, or not enough.

Why?

Because some of what you’re feeling didn’t start with them.

In this episode, Luke explores how emotional survival strategies from childhood shape the way we respond to betrayal, uncertainty, and ...

When you suspect infidelity but don’t have the proof, it can feel like you’re living in emotional limbo, caught between your gut and your guilt. In this episode, we unpack the messy, painful, and very human experience of wondering whether something’s going on behind your back.

You’ll learn how to stop spiralling and start grounding, why your feelings are valid even without confirmation, and how to begin reclaiming trust in yourself...

When betrayal shatters your world, knowing where to start can feel overwhelming.

In this episode, Luke breaks down a simple yet powerful framework to help you regain clarity, direction, and strength, The ABCs of Infidelity Recovery: Acceptance, Boundaries, Compassion.

These three pillars aren’t just concepts. They’re tools.

Tools to help you stay grounded when your emotions spiral.

Tools to help you protect yourself, reconnect wi...

You were the one who was lied to.

The one who was betrayed.

And yet somehow… you’re the one walking on eggshells.

Afraid to say too much.

Afraid to bring it up again.

Afraid of looking paranoid, insecure, or like you're the problem.

If you’ve ever told yourself, “I can’t say anything,” this episode is for you.

In today’s conversation, Luke explores the hidden fear many betrayed partners carry, the fear of speaking their truth. Whet...

There are moments when it all feels like too much, when the pain of betrayal, the weight of healing, or the sheer exhaustion of trying to hold it together leaves you questioning your strength.

In those moments, the most important decision you can make is not to fight harder, or fix everything, or know exactly what to do.

The most important decision is to not abandon yourself.

In this episode, Luke offers a deeply grounded reminder: