Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes

This episode will completely change how you show up for the people in your life when they are grieving or going through something.

Most of us have heard the advice about what to do when someone is grieving: bring the meal, send the gift card, walk the dog, take the kids, run the errand. And those things matter, but knowing what to say is where a lot of us panic.

Today I’m talking to Shelby Forsythia, a grief coach, author, and ...

Have you ever caught yourself on your birthday paying a little too much attention to your phone?

Noticing who texted, who posted, who sent a voice memo? What about who just “liked” your Instagram story but didn’t actually say anything? Who remembered, who didn’t, and what all of that might mean about how much they care about you.

For most of us, birthdays are one of the only times we explicitly tell our friend...

It’s impossible to talk about friendship or community without the topic of loneliness. 

What is loneliness doing inside the body? How is it affecting our hearts, our brains, our stress hormones, and our actual day-to-day health?

That’s exactly what we’re going to explore today with Dr. Alan Rozanski, a cardiologist who has spent decades studying this question: what allows people to truly flourish? 

Dr. Roza...

Have you ever left a hangout with a friend and felt like 95% of the hangout was normal, but the other 5% was just… off?

Maybe it was a comment that surprised you, or a value that seemed to come out of nowhere. And suddenly you’re wondering, wait, is this still the person I thought I knew?!

That’s what I’m talking about in today’s episode. Notice this isn’t about friendship breakups...

There is something dreamy about the idea of living close to your people. Imagine all of the spontaneous walks, casual dinners, and “come over, I’m on my couch” friendship vibes that so many of us crave.

Today I’m talking with Kelly and Kristi from The Friendhood, a group of four women in Atlanta who actually did it. They didn’t just talk about moving closer to their friends someday — they now live...

There’s a specific kind of loneliness that I don’t think enough people talk about — the loneliness you feel EVEN when you have good friends.

In this episode, I’m talking about why you might feel lonely, and I’m breaking it down into a few different reasons. Maybe you don’t feel fully seen, maybe this friendship isn’t the right container for what you’re carrying, maybe life circumstance...

Why does connection, caregiving, parenting, friendship, and community feel so hard right now? 

Author Stephanie Malia Krauss is here to talk about the “weather” we’re all living in right now: we’re overtapped, overworked, overstimulated, and overwrought. 

And honestly, when I read that, I felt like she had put language to something so many of us are carrying around without even realiz...

My book is finally out in the world.

This week, I'm taking you behind the scenes of the 6-year journey that became Are We Friends Yet? — from a food blog and a 40-page e-book idea, to a 120-page Word document, a friendship framework obsession, a major health crisis, an unexpected book deal, and more moments of crying on the floor than I'd like to admit.

This is the story of how this book came to be, the twists and turns I never...

What do you do if a friend tells you something deeply personal? Maybe they're getting divorced, or they’re pregnant but haven’t publicly announced it.

This week, I'm sharing a friendship boundary that Michael and I have held for years, including the kinds of things we don't share with each other, why some of our friends are shocked to learn we've kept their secrets for months (or years), and the role trust plays in build...

Friendship apps have a reputation for being awkward. They're "not how real friendships happen.” But what if that's not true?

When Hayleigh Hayhurst moved to Seattle knowing almost no one, she found herself craving deeper connection and a stronger support system. Instead of waiting for friendships to happen organically, she decided to try Bumble BFF — and ended up meeting some of her closest friends!

Hayleigh talks about w...

Why does one friendship feel effortless while another feels tense, draining, or rigid?

In this episode, I’m diving into a concept I think about constantly: friendship culture. The unspoken norms, expectations, habits, and “rules” that shape how our relationships function.

From how you split the dinner bill to who initiates plans, what topics feel safe to discuss, or whether partners are included in hangouts — ...

Divorce is one of those life moments where everyone has an opinion, a reaction, or a face they make when they’re told – which is, much of the time, not very helpful. 

… So what IS helpful? That’s what today’s guest, Oona Metz, is here to talk about. 

Oona is a licensed independent clinical social worker, a certified group psychotherapist with 30 years of experience supporting women through som...

Have you ever tried to make a new friend and felt like you were stalling out between the “acquaintance” and “friend” stages? 

Maybe this person was on the edge of your life for months, and yet, nothing ever changed: you saw each other in the same places, you kept having the same conversations. How do you get to that point where they feel like a friend?

Some people assume if a friendship isn’t progre...

Here you are, leaving that friendship hangout frustrated again. 

You swear you’ll tackle the issue at the next meet-up, but then, time goes by. You’ve pushed the problem aside. Until it happens again. And again. Suddenly, this little issue has become a major one.

Today’s guest is Colette Jane Fehr, a therapist, TEDX speaker, and author of the Amazon bestselling book, The Cost of Quiet. Her work is rooted in cou...

Bad vibes. Frenemy. Fake friend. Toxic friendship.

We have an entire vocabulary for when friendships aren’t working, but I think certain words and phrases often oversimplify friendship issues – and ultimately end up costing us something very real.

In this episode, I talk in particular about the word toxic: its history, how it’s morphed in modern friendship culture, and questions to ask yourself to identify issues in...

To me, writing a friendship manual for neurodivergent people seems kind of mind-bending. How do you encapsulate the beauty and diversity of ALL our brains in one book? 

And yet, today’s guest, Caroline Maguire, has done just that. Caroline is an expert in social-emotional learning and ADHD coaching, the author of Friendship Skills for Neurodivergent Adults (which I HIGHLY recommend!); and host of the ADHD Social Playbook ...

Does talking about one person to another make you a bad friend?

For quite some time, I’ve been considering the role of gossip in friendship. I’ve reflected on my own patterns and beliefs, and I’ve thought hard about where I’ve pushed the boundaries. 

My goal in this episode is to get to the root of gossip and the role it plays in relationships. I dive into some research about the history of gossip and inc...

For years, Erin Snow was a trauma-informed legal advocate for domestic violence, sexual assault, and stalking survivors, so she understands well the cost of having nowhere safe to say what’s true. 

When she got divorced, she felt isolated and without a support system, even among people she thought were friends. She’d been so busy being everyone else’s “person” that she never let anyone be hers.&nbs...

Fitting social gatherings into busy lives often isn’t easy, but let me remind you of their value:

One of the longest studies on human connection found that adults who went to social gatherings regularly reported reduced levels of depression and better life satisfaction.

The good news? You don’t have to wait for life to ease up or to get invited to see your people; you can start creating recurring friend gatherings right n...