Power to the Pleasers

Episode Summary:

We have a guest today - Liz Wilcox. Survivor contestant, Online Business Entrepreneur and genuinely funny human.  The reason I’m super excited about this conversation is that Liz is one of those rare, real people who isn’t afraid to show up as her true self. And being in the online business building world, that is a breath of fresh air - which is why I call...

If you've ever felt like confidence is just out of reach no matter how many self-help books you read or how often you try to "fake it 'til you make it," you're not alone. This episode dives deep into why building real, rooted confidence isn't about just gritting your teeth and forcing yourself through discomfort. Instead, it’s about understanding your body’s natural response to fear and learning how to ...

Have you ever felt like you’re stuck in a cycle of playing it safe? This episode dives deep into that feeling and how we can move through it. We start with a quote that many of us can relate to:

"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." – Anais Nin

In this episode, we're diving into something that's truly life-changing: connecting to your truth by tuning into your body.

When you're stuck in the back-and-forth of a tough decision—especially when you really want to say "no" but fear, obligation, or guilt are pushing you to say "yes"—knowing what your body is signaling can clear up that confusion in a heartbeat.

Today, we're diving deep into the people-pleasing trap and how it pulls us away from living in alignment with our true values. If you've ever found yourself saying "yes" when you really wanted to say "no," this episode is for you.

What makes this worth listening to: 

• Understanding where our people-pleasing tendencies come from and how they take over our decision-making proce...

In this episode, we explore how Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy provides a step by step approach to connect with our inner selves using eight guiding principles, known as the 8 Cs: Calm, Curiosity, Compassion, Clarity, Creativity, Connection, Courage, and Confidence. What makes this episode worth listening to:

The Importance of a Strong Foundation:

Achieving true calm and confidence involves more than fleeting moments of t...

In this episode, we dive into how the next few C words from the 8 Cs of Internal Family Systems (IFS) can help transform anxiety. Building on our last discussion about the importance of calm, we explore how calm, curiosity, and compassion lead to clarity and creativity in dealing with anxiety.

The following are the aspects of Self Energy we explore: 

• Clarity and Creativity:

  • See how maintaining calm, curiosity, and compassi...

The Pixar movie Inside Out 2 is the inspiration for this episode. And being an Internal Family Systems therapist/coach, I had to use the movie to talk about parts!  In the movie, anxiety takes a leading role in the life of the main character.  This results in impulsive, reactive, and frenzied behaviors. Even though this is a kid's movie, oh can we relate! We all know anxiety can drive us to people-please, strive for perfection, an...

What it’s about:

People react to each other—it's just how things go. Most of us are bumping up against others, unconsciously hoping those bumps won't hurt us or them because we don’t like conflict or tension. But here’s the deal: we are acting like feeling tension warrants going into survival mode. It doesn’t. And there is another way to work with the fear of upsetting som...

Friendship is strange isn’t it? You make this unspoken agreement with another person to do what together? You aren’t dating. You aren’t co-workers. You aren’t “committed” like a life partner. What exactly are we agreeing to when we become friends? And how do you know if you are getting out of the lines of the agreement? Someone tells you. And if you are lucky, they are respectful and respon...

One of my clients inspired this episode after a few big ah-ha moments in a session.

They finally let their irritation and fatigue guide them to a balanced way of being naturally kind and generous.

And now you get the benefit of their hard work!

What makes this episode worth listening to:

1. Discover how you’re confu...

Today I am talking about the main thing that keeps people pleasers and perfectionists from setting boundaries – fear! I am going to walk you through a mindfulness practice to help you feel more relaxed as you can build the courage to confidently set boundaries and say “no” when you need to.

Join me in this episode to learn how you can stop letting fear get in the way of not ...

One of my pet peeves started this episode topic off – how social media posts about “boundary setting” are full of shit. Thankfully I have resolved my irritation, and I am sharing how you can as well.

I’d like to invite you to bring your OUTSIDE voice back into the rotation. Well, actually it’s the INSIDE voice that I am calling OUT.

This is all t...

Decisions scramble people pleasers. We want to make sure everyone is happy with what we choose, but that will never happen. Hard to hear, but it’s the truth.

Harder to hear is the reality that we, as pleasers, do not often consider OURSELVES when it comes to making decisions. We get lost in what other people want or what others are doing. No rocking the boat right? In this...

Fear of conflict is on every pleaser and perfectionist’s list of “I-wish-this-wasn’t-such-a-big-deal-for-me”. It’s time to break this mountain of fear down! Because it is O L D! I’ll share a few reasons this fear has taken over, where it came from and then give you skills to move through fear (really any kind of fear) so you can feel more solid, more capable and more adult like when you need to have a ...

Cut to the chase episode using mindfulness to work with negative stories that cause us to waste time and energy replaying past events. This is a common sticking point for people pleasers - over analyzing past conversations and worrying x10 that we upset someone or we were selfish and dominated the conversation.

Listen to this short episode to find out how to work with this runaway train of worry thoughts and ease up on yourself. ...

It’s so easy to get caught in the decision making dilemma of – do I choose what is best for the other person or do I choose what is best for me? People pleasers live in an inner tug of war with their pleasing side wanting to keep the peace and their fledgling boundaries side wanting to protect their time and energy.

How do we get you off of this back and forth decision maki...

Guilt is a killer for people pleasers. We hate feeling it but we feel it all the time. Even when we haven’t done anything! And guess what? Most of the stuff we do isn’t bad enough TO feel guilty about!!!

The habit of Guilt is messing with your ability to set boundaries plain and simple. It's making you believe you are harming someone when you aren't - you are just setting li...

It’s pretty easy to lose ourselves in a relationship with an emotionally immature parent. Their need for our emotional soothing trains us to pay close attention to their moods and behaviors instead of stay in tune with our own experiences.

Today we go back to basics and turn our attention towards our own internal experiences. It’s time to re-learn who we are from the foundat...