How to Get What You Want
You already know what you want. The question is, do you know how to get it? On How to Get What You Want, Susie Tomenchok shows you how to navigate the moments at work that actually determine your career. The conversations, decisions, and situations where what you say and how you show up shapes your career growth, leadership presence, and professional advancement. Because getting what you want isn’t about being louder or more aggressive. It’s about how you think, how you position yourself, and how you handle those moments at work. And whether you call it that or not, that’s negotiation. Not the kind that feels pushy or uncomfortable. The everyday kind you’re already in. When you decide to speak up in a meeting When you ask for an opportunity When you handle workplace conflict When you position your ideas and advocate for your value Each week, Susie breaks down real workplace scenarios, communication strategies, and mindset shifts so you can stop second-guessing yourself and start getting what you want in your career and your life.
Episodes
You take the promotion because it looks like progress. You feel chosen, relieved, maybe even flattered, and you don't stop to ask yourself if it's actually right for you until you're already in it.
That's the moment I keep coming back to. I built a career assuming someone else would tap me on the shoulder with the next opportunity, and by the time I noticed the pattern, I'd already handed the decision away.
This episo...
A senior leader wraps up a conversation and asks what they can do for you. You reach for the question you've been taught to ask. Where can I improve, and what are my blind spots?
It feels like the responsible thing to say. But that question does something to the person across from you that you don't see happening in the moment, and by the time you realize it, the impression is already set.
There's a specific swap that...
There's a moment after every promotion where you have a decision to make, even if you don't realize you're making it. Keep leading the way that got you here, or figure out what this new role actually needs from you. Most leaders default to the first one without noticing.
That default is a negotiation problem, not a personality trait. The way you show up sets the pattern for how everyone around you responds, and if yo...
You ask someone on your team for a draft, and what comes back isn't even close to what you had in mind. It's easy to chalk that up to a skills gap, but that's rarely the real problem.
I'm breaking down what's actually happening in that gap between what you pictured and what got delivered, and why the fix isn't about micromanaging harder. It comes down to something most leaders skip entirely, and once you see it, you ...
I have three questions I come back to more than almost any other with my clients, and every time, I watch a smart, accomplished leader go quiet. Not because they're unsure. Because they've never had to answer it before.
I'm sharing what those three questions are and what that quiet usually means. It's rarely about what people think it's about, and once you see it, it's hard to unsee.
In this episode, I'll cover:
- Re...
There's a version of negotiation that has nothing to do with raises or job offers. It happens in ordinary conversations, when an agreement quietly becomes something bigger than what you actually said yes to.
Most people don't catch it in the moment. They catch it later, and by then they've already started doubting themselves instead of questioning what changed. That self-doubt is doing more damage than the shift itse...
Almost every company is rolling out AI right now, but far fewer have any idea how to actually adopt it.
That gap is where leaders are getting caught. The pressure is to cut costs and move fast, so the message becomes "everyone start using AI" with almost no conversation about how. Meanwhile, your team is picking it up at completely different speeds, and the differences start showing up in trust, in communication, in ...
Someone asks you to take something on, and before they've even finished, you've already said yes. You didn't check your calendar. You didn't ask if it was your job. And three weeks later, you're carrying work you never wanted and quietly resenting the person who handed it to you.
That yes was automatic. And automatic isn't the same as generous.
This episode is about catching that yes before it leaves your mouth, and s...
Getting a no can throw you in a way that doesn't really make sense until you've felt it. You make the ask, it doesn't land, and suddenly you're quiet and a little off your game, and the worst part is how long that feeling sticks around afterward.
What you might not realize is that the people in the room feel it too. They're not walking away thinking about what you asked for. They're thinking about how you handled not...
You've watched a colleague get tapped for the senior meeting, the stretch project, the introduction you didn't know was happening. And your first thought wasn't resentment, it was confusion. They know how hard you work. They know what you're capable of. So why aren't they picking you?
Because people don't live in your head, and if you haven't told them where you want to go, they're not guessing.
In this episode, I'm t...
You keep delivering. You keep saying yes to more responsibility. And somewhere in the back of your mind, you tell yourself it's just not the right time to ask for the title, the raise, the recognition you've been waiting on.
But on the other side of that silence, your boss isn't waiting with you. They're watching you perform and assuming you're fine.
In this episode, I'll cover:
- Why silence signals satisfaction, ev...
You see a colleague get the stretch assignment. You think, "Good for them." And then, quietly, "Why not me?"
That moment is where most people stop. But that question, "Why not me?" is exactly where a negotiator starts. Research shows 46% of managers don't even know what their people want next. That's not on them. That's on you knowing it first.
Getting what you want at work starts long before any conversation. It star...
Most of us hear "office politics" and immediately distance ourselves. It sounds manipulative, underhanded, like something people with questionable integrity do to get ahead. So we opt out. We stay professional, stay quiet, keep our heads down.
But opting out is still a choice. And while you're making it, someone else is in the room getting credit for your idea, volunteering to send out your work, and positioning hims...
You've been thinking about a conversation for days, maybe longer, and when you finally walk in, something unexpected happens. The other person says something that catches you off guard, the energy shifts, and suddenly everything you planned feels out of reach. You end up agreeing to something you didn't mean to, and you spend the drive home wondering how it went sideways so fast.
That moment isn't about confidence. I...
You're ready for the client presentation, the meeting with your boss, the room full of people counting on you to speak. You rehearsed, you have a plan, and the moment finally comes. But the energy is tight, something feels off, and instead of pausing to read it, you push through anyway. The call goes hollow. And you know it the second it's over.
That gap between what you prepared for and what the room actually needed...
Seventy percent of people experience imposter syndrome at some point, and it hits hardest in high achievers. The more capable you are, the wider the gap feels between how others see you and how you see yourself. And the sneaky part is it rarely looks like doubt. It looks like stepping back, staying quiet, giving someone else the floor and calling it professional.
That quiet step backward has a cost. In this episode, ...
Your calendar is full. You're keeping up, moving fast, and honestly proud of what you're getting done. Then you find out there's a major cross-functional initiative in the works and your name wasn't on the list.
It's not a confidence problem. It's not a performance problem. But something is quietly happening to the way you're thinking, and it's costing you visibility at exactly the moment it matters most.
In this epis...
You picked the day. You thought through exactly what you were going to say. And then your boss pushed the meeting and you felt, if you're honest, a little relieved. So you reset the date. And then something else came up. And then again. And before you know it, you've talked yourself out of it so many times that the ask never happens.
That's not strategy. It's directly connected to getting what you want, and every tim...
Think about the last time you had something to say in a meeting and didn't say it. Maybe you were waiting for the right moment. Maybe someone else was talking and you thought you'd jump in after. And then the conversation shifted, and the moment passed, and someone else said something close enough to your idea that everyone moved on without you.
That's not just a missed moment. It's directly connected to getting what...
Every time you speak, you're shaping how people receive what you say. And most of the time, you're doing it without realizing it.
It sounds like this: I'm not as technical as everyone here, but... or this may not be helpful, but... It feels polite. It feels humble. But what it's actually doing is telling people exactly how much weight to give your ideas before they've even heard them.
In this episode, I'll cover:
- W...
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