How to Get What You Want
You already know what you want. The question is, do you know how to get it? On How to Get What You Want, Susie Tomenchok shows you how to navigate the moments at work that actually determine your career. The conversations, decisions, and situations where what you say and how you show up shapes your career growth, leadership presence, and professional advancement. Because getting what you want isn’t about being louder or more aggressive. It’s about how you think, how you position yourself, and how you handle those moments at work. And whether you call it that or not, that’s negotiation. Not the kind that feels pushy or uncomfortable. The everyday kind you’re already in. When you decide to speak up in a meeting When you ask for an opportunity When you handle workplace conflict When you position your ideas and advocate for your value Each week, Susie breaks down real workplace scenarios, communication strategies, and mindset shifts so you can stop second-guessing yourself and start getting what you want in your career and your life.
Episodes
A senior leader says they would love to help, promises introductions and resources, and then goes quiet. You follow up and hear nothing.
It is easy to start combing through what you did wrong. It's natural that most of us treat this as a problem on our end. But it's actually a negotiation. You need something from someone who has no obligation to give it and no urgency of their own, and how you handle that gap decides...
You're afraid your boss will say no, so the ask stays in your head. You've been carrying it around for a long time, and you've already written their answer for them.
I'm sharing why the answer you're bracing for may not be the one you get, and how to make the ask anyway in a way that makes a yes more likely. It comes down to a few small choices, and most of them happen after you've said the words.
In this episode, I'l...
You get the promotion and then you show up to your staff meeting, run your one-on-ones, and jump in to solve problems exactly like you always have. You're waiting for the title to do the work of changing how people see you.
Weeks go by and nothing shifts. And it's not them...it's you. The room doesn't change until you do.
That's the negotiation lens most people miss when they think about leadership. You're setting ter...
"You're really confusing." That's what my boss told me one day, out of nowhere, with no explanation or context.
I spent weeks questioning whether I was even good at my job. Then I watched someone else say almost the exact same thing to her, and she understood it instantly. The problem was never how smart I was. It was how I set her up to hear it.
This week I'm breaking down what changed once I saw that differenc...
This is part two of my conversation with Josh and Jennifer, two former executives who left corporate leadership to build their own businesses. If you haven't heard part one, start there, we spent that episode looking back at their years running big, complex organizations.
In this episode, we look at what it felt like to walk away and build something of their own. Josh talks about the identity he didn't realize was wr...
I'm bringing two of my close friends onto the show today. Both spent years as senior executives, one in a private company, one in a public company, and both have since left to run their own businesses.
This is part one of a two part series. In this episode, we're looking back on their years leading inside big, complex organizations. We get into the moves they wish they'd made sooner, the moments they actually negotia...
You take the promotion because it looks like progress. You feel chosen, relieved, maybe even flattered, and you don't stop to ask yourself if it's actually right for you until you're already in it.
That's the moment I keep coming back to. I built a career assuming someone else would tap me on the shoulder with the next opportunity, and by the time I noticed the pattern, I'd already handed the decision away.
This episo...
A senior leader wraps up a conversation and asks what they can do for you. You reach for the question you've been taught to ask. Where can I improve, and what are my blind spots?
It feels like the responsible thing to say. But that question does something to the person across from you that you don't see happening in the moment, and by the time you realize it, the impression is already set.
There's a specific swap that...
There's a moment after every promotion where you have a decision to make, even if you don't realize you're making it. Keep leading the way that got you here, or figure out what this new role actually needs from you. Most leaders default to the first one without noticing.
That default is a negotiation problem, not a personality trait. The way you show up sets the pattern for how everyone around you responds, and if yo...
You ask someone on your team for a draft, and what comes back isn't even close to what you had in mind. It's easy to chalk that up to a skills gap, but that's rarely the real problem.
I'm breaking down what's actually happening in that gap between what you pictured and what got delivered, and why the fix isn't about micromanaging harder. It comes down to something most leaders skip entirely, and once you see it, you ...
I have three questions I come back to more than almost any other with my clients, and every time, I watch a smart, accomplished leader go quiet. Not because they're unsure. Because they've never had to answer it before.
I'm sharing what those three questions are and what that quiet usually means. It's rarely about what people think it's about, and once you see it, it's hard to unsee.
In this episode, I'll cover:
- Re...
There's a version of negotiation that has nothing to do with raises or job offers. It happens in ordinary conversations, when an agreement quietly becomes something bigger than what you actually said yes to.
Most people don't catch it in the moment. They catch it later, and by then they've already started doubting themselves instead of questioning what changed. That self-doubt is doing more damage than the shift itse...
Almost every company is rolling out AI right now, but far fewer have any idea how to actually adopt it.
That gap is where leaders are getting caught. The pressure is to cut costs and move fast, so the message becomes "everyone start using AI" with almost no conversation about how. Meanwhile, your team is picking it up at completely different speeds, and the differences start showing up in trust, in communication, in ...
Someone asks you to take something on, and before they've even finished, you've already said yes. You didn't check your calendar. You didn't ask if it was your job. And three weeks later, you're carrying work you never wanted and quietly resenting the person who handed it to you.
That yes was automatic. And automatic isn't the same as generous.
This episode is about catching that yes before it leaves your mouth, and s...
Getting a no can throw you in a way that doesn't really make sense until you've felt it. You make the ask, it doesn't land, and suddenly you're quiet and a little off your game, and the worst part is how long that feeling sticks around afterward.
What you might not realize is that the people in the room feel it too. They're not walking away thinking about what you asked for. They're thinking about how you handled not...
You've watched a colleague get tapped for the senior meeting, the stretch project, the introduction you didn't know was happening. And your first thought wasn't resentment, it was confusion. They know how hard you work. They know what you're capable of. So why aren't they picking you?
Because people don't live in your head, and if you haven't told them where you want to go, they're not guessing.
In this episode, I'm t...
You keep delivering. You keep saying yes to more responsibility. And somewhere in the back of your mind, you tell yourself it's just not the right time to ask for the title, the raise, the recognition you've been waiting on.
But on the other side of that silence, your boss isn't waiting with you. They're watching you perform and assuming you're fine.
In this episode, I'll cover:
- Why silence signals satisfaction, ev...
You see a colleague get the stretch assignment. You think, "Good for them." And then, quietly, "Why not me?"
That moment is where most people stop. But that question, "Why not me?" is exactly where a negotiator starts. Research shows 46% of managers don't even know what their people want next. That's not on them. That's on you knowing it first.
Getting what you want at work starts long before any conversation. It star...
Most of us hear "office politics" and immediately distance ourselves. It sounds manipulative, underhanded, like something people with questionable integrity do to get ahead. So we opt out. We stay professional, stay quiet, keep our heads down.
But opting out is still a choice. And while you're making it, someone else is in the room getting credit for your idea, volunteering to send out your work, and positioning hims...
You've been thinking about a conversation for days, maybe longer, and when you finally walk in, something unexpected happens. The other person says something that catches you off guard, the energy shifts, and suddenly everything you planned feels out of reach. You end up agreeing to something you didn't mean to, and you spend the drive home wondering how it went sideways so fast.
That moment isn't about confidence. I...
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