The Covert Narcissism Podcast

The Covert Narcissism Podcast

Covert narcissistic abuse crushes one’s soul. This podcast is devoted to understanding covert narcissistic abuse, its effect on the victims, and how to heal.

Episodes

March 24, 2024 26 mins
In this Q&A session with Renee Swanson and Eleanor Marks, we answer two questions from the Covert Narcissism Facebook Group. How do you deal with the golden child and help them to unlearn concerning narcissistic traits without disparaging the other parent? How do you maintain a relationship with said child when also trying to protect yourself and heal from the narcissistic abuse trauma?   These are tough questions that so many ...
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f you don't tell me to do it, then it is your fault that it didn't get done. If you tell me to do it, then it is your fault if it doesn't go right. Have you ever heard these words or experienced these attitudes? Covert narcissists are SO good at dodging responsibility. I used to wonder why he wouldn’t even choose the restaurant for our dinner. Many years later, I discovered that he wouldn’t choose so that nothing could ever be his ...

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We all have an immune system inside us. Its purpose is to fight harmful substances that enter the body. It builds a defense against invaders by keeping a record of every germ it has ever defeated so it can recognise and destroy the invading germ quickly if it ever enters the body again. This drastically limits the amount of harm an invader can do if they do manage to get in. In order to function properly, the immune system has to ...

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Narcissism is not a clear cut issue. It isn’t a yes or no answer. It is an extremely complicated issue. One minute you can feel like you have a grasp on it, and the next minute that grasp simply disappears.

You can think you finally understand it and then be at a loss for words in trying to explain it to someone else. “I got it. This makes sense,” you think. The next day you wake up, and everything is all jumbled up again. What rea...

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In this brand new series, I am doing a Q&A session with Eleanor Marks. We are answering questions that come directly from my Facebook group, Covert Narcissism Group. Today we begin with two questions.   John asks for tips and help on recovery in the early part of this journey, for help on how to heal. Self-care is crucial when it comes to healing. Doing things such as journaling, meditating, and educating yourself are all vital...
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Today’s guest Dave shares his enjoyment is trimming the bushes in front of his house because now it is HIS house. After going through over two years of the divorce process, he finds peace for himself and his kids. He admits that it is incredibly difficult to celebrate this as he is flooded with sadness at the trajectory of his marriage. At the same time, though, he chooses to embrace the quiet peacefulness of his home.

...

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March 3, 2024 20 mins
Welcome back. I am again talking about covert narcissism, and in specific, parenting with a partner who is showing the traits of covert narcissism. These kids go through a lot. Everyone has wounds from childhood. This is true. But the more educated we can become about the types of wounds and specific nature of the wounds, the better we are able to heal our own wounds and also the better we are able to help our children.

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Memories can absolutely haunt victims of covert narcissistic abuse for years!! They trigger us, causing massive internal reactions. Anxiety, tension, pain in the gut, shaking, twitching, upset stomach, increased blood pressure and heart rate, panic attacks, and so on. All of this from a simple memory that still haunts you today. This is PTSD and can create problems for years, decades, even the rest of your life. December 2nd was a ...

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Covert narcissistic parenting has a massive effect on our children! It leaves gaping holes in their development, which can haunt them for the rest of their lives. And they have NO clue in the early years. They don’t see the abuse in those really young ages, but they certainly feel it.

Kids aren’t stupid, They know how they feel. They experience their feelings, even if they can’t verbalize them yet. They kn...

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February 22, 2024 19 mins

I'm drowning in a world of narcissism. I think about it the minute I wake up, all day long, and the last thought before I fall asleep. It is all consuming. Never in my life have I ever absorbed as much information as I have on covert narcissism. I have watched every video, read every book, listened to every podcast, talked to anyone who would listen. 

I just can't think about this any longer. Not one more ...

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February 18, 2024 15 mins

"I am the mom! I know everything and am right about everything."

"I am the dad! I know how to handle life. Don’t tell me what to do."

  It is true that parents know more than kids, yes. It is also true that parents have more life experience and thus can reason through things more than kids can. Sure. However, parents don’t know everything. They are not always right. Unless of course, you are a covert narci...

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February 15, 2024 25 mins
Kathleen bought into the sales pitch of the top notch salesman. He sold himself to her with great sales pitches, carrying the "same" interests, beliefs and values. He seemed so caring and altruistic. She thought, "Wow, this is a prince of a guy." As time went by, she came to the realization that, like his job, she was simply another conquest for him. He was not the guy she thought he was.    The salesman approach continued to infil...

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“I divorced a narcissist 10 years ago and now I am married to another one! How in the world did that happen??”

 

I have talked to so many people who have gone from one narcissistic relationship to another. Finally divorced one narcissist only to find themselves in a relationship with yet another one. For some this may even be a lifetime of many narcissistic relationships. The thought of being trapped in an...

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When dealing with covert narcissism, it is so difficult to give yourself permission to set boundaries, physically, emotionally, mentally, and psychologically. Yet those boundaries are so vitally important! Within those boundaries comes healing and hope!

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Learning the signs of narcissistic mirroring gives you the knowledge you need to keep from being hooked by it. Victim switching, inconsistencies in their behaviors, lack of self and fast intense connections are all things to watch out for. Learn what to do when you see signs of mirroring to help build healthier relationships. Build your own sense of self and get back in touch with your own intuition. Prioritize your self care and s...

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When dealing with covert narcissism, it is so difficult to give yourself permission to set boundaries, physically, emotionally, mentally, and psychologically. Yet those boundaries are so vitally important! Within those boundaries comes healing and hope!

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January 28, 2024 22 mins
How did I get stuck in an exploitative and manipulative relationship?  Entitlement, power trips, jealousy, guilt trips, manipulation, passive aggressiveness, dishonesty, gaslighting!!  

How did I get here? How is it that I am living with this on a daily basis, even excusing it, downplaying it, and justifying it? How did I come to accept this behavior as normal?

 

Narcissistic mirroring is defined as a m...

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An overt narcissist uses couples therapy to improve on the outside. However, the inner traits of narcissism remain and in fact become more refined. Putting on the mask to hide the narcissism simply shows up now as passive aggressiveness and covert narcissism.

Narcissists can appear to be doing the work and getting better. Sometimes this just means they are hiding the entitlement, arrogance, superiority and...

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January 21, 2024 18 mins
Chameleons change colors according to their environment or their intentions. They change colors to attract mates and to tell intruders to stay away. They hide from their prey and they hide from their predators.    A chameleon type covert narcissist is one who uses their image as their basis of manipulation on others. Covert narcissists rely heavily on their image of themselves for the different roles they see themselves in.   The...
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In this episode, Jean shares her story of hope. Looking back in her marriage, she sees the beginning of doubting herself. She was squashed and made to feel unworthy over and over. Along with this, she was so convinced that she needed him, the covert narcissist in her life, and that he was her emotional support.

In facing this darkness and its internal effect on her, she found her escape from the suffocatin...

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