September 11, 2024 • 37 mins
What is the hardest age to parent? From infants to teens, every age and stage has it's own unique challenges, but Jordan believes he is in the hardest part right now. Do you agree, or is it only going to get harder from here??
Plus - try explaining to a curios 12 year old what a "gob gob" is...eek.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:06):
This is an iHeartRadio New Zealand podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
This week on the podcast, We're gonna try and figure
out what the hardest age of parenting is. What's the
hardest stage of parenting.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
I'm struggling and maybe I'm there, Maybe I've reached the
peak hardest parenting age. I'm tapping out, I'm done, I'm
packing my stuff, I'm leaving. Jody can do it now?
Speaker 2 (00:28):
Or the way through your parenting journey, people just say
to you or just you wait mate, you think it's
hard now? And I feel like that happens every single
stage of parenting infants, toddlers, school age kids, pre teens, teens.
So what is it? What is the hardest age of parenting?
And who's got a harder job at the moment? Is
it me or Jordan?
Speaker 1 (00:48):
Yeah? No one ever says to you, oh, you're done, yeah,
well done.
Speaker 2 (00:53):
It's always you're going into the easy bit now, yeah yeah,
oh you've got past that.
Speaker 1 (00:57):
But apparently this is just parenting is everest? You start
like base camp's easy, even though you're suffocating from lack
of you know, bloody year up there, but it only
gets harder and you're gasping for air by the time
you get to the top, and then finally they leave
at eighteen and you can slide back down your rest
and get back back to base camp.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
Plus some amazing feedback on our puberty conversation. So let's
get into another episode of the Parenting Hangover.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
I promise that the rest of the episode is way
better than the off the cuff everest analogiation. I apologize
that since you're there, I like that intro here has
me to be to be snappy. Let's refer to it
Clinton House the kids mate.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
Good. Did you see the Instagram story that I put
up about my daughter supporting South Africa and the rugby.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
No, I've been away on a no phone service lads trip.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
So rugby is very important to me as it is
to you. It's my sport of choice. All Blacks played
on the weekend against the world champion South Africans and
they nearly won after losing last week. They did it,
they didn't win and the whole game. My daughter Maggie
was telling me, I want spring Box to win. I
want spring Box to win the whole game. I'm gonna
(02:09):
barely cook the rugby breakfast, doing all the things offered
her her all Black jersey to wear. I want spring
Boks to win. Have listened to this. This is Meggie
just after full time and the All Blacks lost to
South Africa. What do you think about the rugby? Why?
Speaker 3 (02:24):
Why?
Speaker 2 (02:25):
Why did you like the rugby?
Speaker 3 (02:28):
Because I like, I wanted she want and don't want
to playing bucks?
Speaker 2 (02:35):
That's good?
Speaker 1 (02:35):
Is it?
Speaker 2 (02:36):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (02:37):
Okay, okay, I am like I'm an I want her
playing box away and sling bucks gand away.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
Hey, Meggie, you get out of here. You get the
fuck out of here, Meggie through the heart. You disown
her mate. She can pack her bags and leave the
home going for another country, and you're in the national
sports Does she That's the thing I was going to say,
she's so young that she's not doing it just to
wind you up or have a joke. It seems like
(03:09):
she's not at that age to do that.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
No, I think she's old enough to be winding me
up as a Because I tried to play it off,
I was like, oh, kids just pick based on color.
I was like, do you just like them because they're
green and blacks? A bit boring? She goes, No, I
like spring Boks. Look my oldest toy at least I've
got one daughter. I can still hand the inheritance of
nine All Blacks jerseys down to when they get old enough.
(03:33):
She told me that she wanted New Zealand to win,
but actually she's only just come around. I've until recently
watching All Blacks and Warriors games. I'm like, we're going
for this team? Do you guys want the Warriors to
win as well? Tooy's way of watching the game has
been I think I'll wait to see who wins and
then I'll choose a team.
Speaker 1 (03:51):
I find it's a great way to bet as well.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
It's a way to Yeah. So look, disappointing but nice
that they're interested. You know they could they could not
give two shits about the rugby, which would really upset me.
How's your kids.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
I've been away. I've been away from Thursday and I
got home Sunday afternoon. I went on a yearly leads
Quad bite trip into the bush, getting stuck in mud,
realizing again, look, we don't want to go over it
too much, but you're older and you get tired and
your body hurts. We're all laughing as a group because
(04:25):
I think it was on the Saturday night we were
all in bed by nine pm. Thirteen guys in their thirties,
one forty year old, and we're all dads, basically ninety
percent of the group's dads, and we're happily in bed
by nine pm, like you're out for a weekend. No wives,
no kids. You'd think these guys are going to be reckless.
(04:45):
They're going to be abut today night, two new beers,
you know, in this little heart in the middle of
no nat Even the first night when it was you know,
we got a bit of energy. I think it was
eleven pm. We're kind of just all right, that's us, guys.
Who's still got a light on? Turn your light off.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
I love that. I love that. That's my dream because
we've got a couple of annual boys trips that we
do too, and the last one went through into about
four in the morning, and now it puts me off.
I'm like, I'd love if we could do this boys trip,
have heaps of farden and then you know, get in
bed by midnight. Wouldn't they just make wouldn't they make
life better?
Speaker 1 (05:18):
And this one's great where no one is interested in
staying up till absurd hours. But look, there's no rush
for us to get up in the morning whatsoever. No
one has to see the sun rise anything. We're all
up like six am. Everyone just starts talking and we're
all up. By six thirty am. Everyone is up and
we're like cooking our breakfast, making our cups of tea
in this little hut, and figuring out what we're going
(05:39):
to do for the day. And so I've been on
this big trip, injured myself a bit, saw shoulders, saw elbow,
classic gyarns. Get home and you think, look, I've got
to pack my stuff away, and I'm okay, I've got
to be with the kids now. I've got an afternoon
hours here. I haven't seen the All Blacks game yet,
and I wanted to see that, but I was like, no, no,
put that to the side. I've been away. Got to
say hi, hang out and instantly, like within ten minutes,
(06:04):
they're just at each other's throats and and and JODI's like, yeah,
there's been a bit of that this since you've been away.
Like they're just oh, you can't, you can't win. And
I've come and I've been thinking about this for a while.
I'm at the point now and I'm there too early
where when you had younger kids, you'd see these parents
that have got teenagers and that all go, oh, wait
till they get older, Like you'd be complaining, being like,
(06:26):
oh my five and three year old or my seven
and five year old so hard? Oh, these are just
wait till they get older, wait till they're teenagers. Mine
aren't teenagers. But I feel like I am there. We
are in our hardest parenting stage right now. Babies are
a breeze. Toddlers are a breeze. Young little five year
old kids easy, wait till they get older. Man, Oh
(06:49):
I'm there. I'm that parent. Now.
Speaker 2 (06:51):
That's what we're going to discuss this week because I'm not.
I'm at the five and three out of the baby
baby bit and coming through the toddler bit. But I
kind of find it hard to believe. And I want
to debate this with you because we're at different ends
of the spectrum, Like is it harder or is it
just whatever is in front of you is hard and
you forget how hard that other bit was, Like what
(07:14):
is it that you're finding so much harder about having
older kids than when you had a bunch of toddlers?
Speaker 1 (07:22):
Are your two girls running at you in the morning
every minute because one of them's trying to brush their teeth,
but the other ones now and they're trying to brush
their teeth. Or are they yelling running at you, yelling
that someone's used their brush their hair brush and they
shouldn't touch that hair brush. Or are they yelling at
you that their hair isn't working today and it's not
great and they can't go to school because their hair
(07:43):
is not perfect, Or are they angry at how one's
chewing their breakfast and is chewing their breakfast too loudly
right by you? Like I feel like at the younger age,
they're not at each other's throats. They're not your classic
but and Lisa, they're not that getting into fights with
each other. When they're younger. They kind of like each other.
They get on and they play with each other, and
it's now it can be like pulling teeth. I'm not
(08:06):
saying this is everyone's kids, but for our kids like
it generally is, though, is pretty much the same across
the spectrum. If I wanted Mela, my eleven year old,
to play with Nla, yes, sometimes it happens naturally, which
is very rare. If anyone in the house. Those two
argue the most. That's my youngest and my oldest. They
butt heads. Okay, yeah, And if there's that time where
(08:27):
Nala's wanting to do something, me and Jody are busy
doing something, We're like, Mila, can you just play this
with Nala? That's just the hardest even that you've asked her.
Shouldest make out like it's the hardest task you've ever
asked anyone and not pull it off because it isn't
genuine and she doesn't want to be doing it. And
I think six nine and eleven, it doesn't get any worse.
Speaker 2 (08:47):
It doesn't get any worse. People do say that to
me all the time. They're like, you'll and parents love
to say it when you have the width of a complaint,
when you're like, oh it's been a bit tough recently.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
You're right.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
People love to whip out, oh just you wait, and
I excuse that my French. I fucking hate that. I
hate that phrase. I hate it. When they were born
and they're like, oh just you wait till they are
toddler's I hated it then. So I really want to
know if there's any truth to it. I think you
do mentally move on from the hard bits, and you
(09:18):
tend to remember the really good. But that's human nature.
I think that's the only reason that you'd have more kids.
I will give you an example of a fight that
my two head this morning. Two he got upset because
Maggie told Ty that her smoothie tasted better. It's the
same smoothie, and Meggie said, my smoothie tastes better than yours.
And two he goes, Mom, Maggie said that her smoothie
(09:39):
tastes better than mine, and I said, well does it?
She goes, I don't know. So those are happening.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
Do you think the smoothie thing right, because that sounds
like a real young argument, right, smoothie. You'd think that
as they got older, arguments like that would stop, right,
because that's like real childish. Yeah, Alba says to me yesterday, mum, menases,
I smell like trash and I should live in a
rubbish bin. And I've stopped, and she then Albera gets
(10:07):
angry at me. They're both standing there and I'm going, Alba,
you're almost ten. You're old enough to know that you're
not stinky like a piece of rubbish, and you know
that you shouldn't live in a rubbish bin. So you
need to ignore that kind of words and don't let
them affixt you. And she's like looking at me and
then looks at Mela and she said, well, am I
getting told of? Yes? Am I getting told off?
Speaker 3 (10:25):
For me?
Speaker 1 (10:26):
I might No, I'll talk to Melo now in a second.
But I'm just telling you you've got to have a
bit of a thicker skin and let that kind of
silly stuff slide, because that's silly. What if someone said, Alba,
you're a unicorn and you fart out rainbows? Are you
going to run off and cry it? No, because it's
a silly that's not I get A five year old
might get upset by that, but not a ten year old. Mate.
You're almost I'm finding that's my that's my dad. Twenty
(10:48):
twenty four has been the year of me going you're
almost so Mela's almost twelve, Alba's almost ten. Nahla, I'm
saying you're almost seven, like that's the next birthdays, and
that is my classic dadline this year. Nahl, come on,
you're almost seven, Okay. I don't want to see you
trying to ask you again? Can someone put a week
box in my bowl. When the weep box is right
(11:09):
in front of you, you don't need to yell out
to mom and Dad's come running down the wall to
put the weeks in the bowl. You can put the bike.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
I get that. I get that being angry at them
for their reaction and they're like, but I'm telling you
they did the bad thing. You should be telling them off.
I do that as well Tooey, and I expect it
from Twoey. We expect a lot more from our older child,
no matter what they are. I know and the level
of expectation put on them. There must be some psychology
to her. I don't know what it is, but Tooey
(11:35):
will come out to me and she'll go Dad. Meggie said,
she's never gonna play with me again, because that's their
thing to say when they passed off each other, I'm
never gonna play with you again.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
Do they turn slightly American?
Speaker 2 (11:46):
Yeah? Yeah, yeah, Twoey, I'm never playing with you again.
So she'll come out. Meggie said, she's never gonna play
with me again. And I try and speak to her rationally,
which is a dumb thing to do because kids don't
have a rational brain like that part of their brain
hasn't developed yet. And I say to her, twoy, how
many times has Meggie said she's never gonna play with
you again? And yet here you are playing with her again.
(12:09):
It doesn't matter, It doesn't matter, but it does. It
does matter to them, So that I get that. You're frustration.
That's almost the most frustrating part of it. You're like,
can you just grow the frick up and think like
a normal person? But they can't. They likely can't. I
would have expected them to be able to by twelve, though.
Speaker 1 (12:27):
Two you should be able to call those bluffs out
from Maggie because look, she calls out you know, she
knows the bluffs that mom and dad do in the house.
That yeah, that never can't follow through with If you
don't eat that you will not have this for a week,
and then three days later they're just chuckling as they
get to watch TV again.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
You have to be I learned really early. Lucy instilled
this to me that you have to follow through with
your bluffs. Like if you say, if you don't stop
doing what you're doing, we're not going to Millie's birthday party,
and if you're going to say it because you in
the heat of the moment, when you're frustrated in their
scream and you go for the big guns. You go,
what are they most excited about? I'm going to threaten
(13:06):
to take it away. If you threaten, you have to
follow through. Otherwise they just see you for the for
the shell, for the fake threatening parent that you are.
They see straight through it.
Speaker 1 (13:17):
Me and Jody have very aligned parenting, Like you sit down,
you talk about your kids and what we're doing and
it's not a planned thing, but we're very open and
how we're doing stuff right. And I'm a big believer
on here's the threat. It's not a threat. If you
don't do this, this will happen. Jody will undo it
within it two minutes in front of me, like and
(13:40):
come on, Jordan, you can't do that. And I'm like, no.
If you're complaining about the shoe that took us all
Sunday afternoon sitting in the crop pop to make and
you've never even tried it in your life, and then
you've set at the table and decided to have a
tantrum because you don't like the look of it and
you don't want it, I'll say, Okay, this is what
dinner is or nothing, and that's it. Like, that's me
one hundred percent real. That happened to me as a kid.
I never died. And then two minutes later I hear
(14:02):
the toaster pop and Jody's spreading gem on a piece
of dis.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
Because you can't be the thought of them going hungry.
But in that situation, the kid has won.
Speaker 1 (14:11):
The kid has won.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
The kid has won.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
I say this all the time. You've got it. You
gotta be. There's moments you've got to be the hard ass.
You've got to be the bad guy. Yeah, do your
kids talk back to you at this sage? No, they don't.
They love it. They're not talking back to you with
attitude or every every little thing you ask them to
do is met with a reply. They didn't need to reply, Hey, gels,
go grab your bag because they were about to go
(14:34):
on a second. Oh do I m has Mela grabbed
her bag? I'm like, what I wasn't asking I was
asking you to get your bag? Oh okay, but don't
don't you have to? Or just there's always something, there's
always something to be said. When you're like, there was
a whole era of raising them where you just said hey,
(14:55):
and they almost likes to do things right you. Your
kids are a classic, like, hey, Maggie, do you want
to go grab your blanket over them? Pop it in
your bag? She's a holy shit, I get to grab
jo getting put in my bag. Now it is like
they will they will crawl along the carpet. They know
they're doing it, but just to wind you up, they'll
pretend that their legs aren't working. And you're not toddlers anymore.
Speaker 2 (15:14):
They still find a way, even at this age to
make it hard. So I'll say, hey, Meggie, do you
want to go? Can you go get your blanket and
put it in your bag? And she'll go, oh my god,
yes I want to do that. Yes, I want to
do that. So she goes and get to it. But
then Tui will overhear it and she'll go, I want
a blanket to be able to go and pick up
and put it into my bag. Oh god, it's not
a treat. It's not a treat. It's just I just
(15:35):
needed her to do it. But then you have to
be fair and equitable and you have to go, all right,
here's a made up job for you to go and do.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
I guess I think this episode today, guys, is just
venting because you've just hit another nail on the head
or an example, and what do you they call it anecdote. Yesterday, Alba,
my middle kid, is in kappahuker So Maori dance performance
group at school, and she's been asking for us to
make a poi for her, which is a traditional performing
Maori performing You could almost call it an instrument, but
(16:04):
it's yeah, yeah, way. Picture picture a puffy sock on
one end of a rope, and if you bail that
sock up and tie it to a piece of string,
you can swing it around and hit it or make up.
It's kind of sound shit example, but anyway, So I
make one for Albert because she's in Kabahaka she needs
it on her next minute, Miela has run down to
her room, shut the door, and now she's making one
(16:26):
because she wants to be able to come out and
say look how good mine is, and then also be
paying up a storm. And then I spend quite a
bit of like a good twenty five minutes making this
poi for Alba, and we're all done and it's almost dinner,
and then Nahla just real quietly and acutely comes up, Dad,
Can I please? Can I please have a POI? I
(16:46):
had to just hold back all my rage of just
being like, yeah, I just want to say, mate, you
don't need a POI. You can share Meala's okay, yep,
every day. Get the string all that stuff you just
saw me put away, go get it all back out
and start making you a boy.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
Do you think that any of this as girl specific
because we only have experience with girls? Do you think
that the tiny little infighting happens as much with boys
as well?
Speaker 1 (17:14):
Like I've only got Yeah, there's probably a lot of
girls specific stuff. I'd like to think that boys chuck
the uniform on, wrestle in the lounge, and then run
outside and play on the trampoline until you say let's
go to school.
Speaker 2 (17:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:26):
I don't know that's a dream, but I do. I
can think back to my own experiences where I was
very much the older brother who was a classic punch
in the arm or do that I'm going to punch
you arm? I had that, so I was always very
much a sick and a winge to my mum. Like
Ryan said, He's going to punch me in the up
and then head here and I'd get a punch in
(17:46):
the arm, and so we had a lot of fighting,
and me and my brother buttered heads.
Speaker 2 (17:51):
I'm from brothers, and we did fight physically, but there
was a lot of winging as well. There's a lot
of winging from me, there's a lot of winging from them.
So maybe that's an unfair generalization, but I'd love to
know from parents of boys if this rings true, if
it's the same, Like if you want to flick us
a message like a voice message for next week's episode,
I'd love to know, because I do genuinely believe the
(18:12):
boy parenting experience versus the girl parenting experience has fundamental
differences that people don't talk about as much.
Speaker 1 (18:20):
Yeah, you get peed on when you're change an eppy.
I did write down, and it could be this is
this is a deep psychological angle to it, but transition,
that's what I wrote down. There's an age there at
an age right where you have to be quite hands
on with them. So I can't remember this is from
your zero to three because if you stuff it up,
they're going to stab themselves with a knife or you know,
(18:42):
you've got to.
Speaker 2 (18:42):
Change the hand them in what way like you've got
to be there to catch them all physically hands on,
got to be there to catch them.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
You're physically feeding them, you're physically helping them get dressed,
you're physically you know, yeah, your actual physical hands on
because it's this little human that can't do stuff for
themselves yet. And then they start figuring stuff out and
they can do stuff on their own, and you kind
of get used to. Then you're more hands off, right,
you have more time to yourself. The more independent your
(19:10):
kids get, you have more time to yourself. And then
maybe there's a period where you get used to having
that little bit more time to yourself. And now I'm
at a period where again it's almost like they want
us to be hands on with them again or I
don't know the dynamics, so it's almost like as a
period as a parent, you're all of a sudden like
what the hell, sorry, what so what do you need?
You don't need, like you don't need me to help
(19:31):
you with that. And it's like maybe maybe they're all
at a period where it's just the dynamic of them,
all three of them right now, clashing kids. Maybe they
need physical parent hands on. I don't know, interaction and
getting amongst I have no idea, but I think that
could also be a thing like I feel for me.
I'm getting annoyed sometimes at being asked things that I
(19:51):
know you usually do this by yourself. I know you
don't need my help. Why have you come to me
as I'm trying to under a quad bike trying to
change a tire for the most silly thing that I
know you can do Alba or Mela or any of them,
and I don't know, you might just have to have
And yeah, I still got to be hands on with them.
They're still my little kids. I don't know.
Speaker 2 (20:11):
You're suggesting that possibly they're as frustrated with us as
we are with them, because yeah, they're not getting from us,
they're not doing the things that we want them to do,
and they're not getting from us the things that they
need but can't tell us that they need.
Speaker 1 (20:26):
Wow. Wow, Wow.
Speaker 2 (20:29):
So what's the line? How do you because because all
we're trying to do is create smart, confident, successful, independent people,
where's the line where you start bringing in the tough
love and just going I know you, I know you
want me to sort this out. You sort your own
shit out, and I say this for as much of
my mental health as yours. Like go go.
Speaker 1 (20:49):
You bring up such a good point where just on
this hunting trip, right it was with my brother and
a lot of my brother's friends that are my friends.
Vicariously is that the word through him? And he made
a joke. What was it? I was trying to do something.
I was trying to like, I was trying to light
a gas cooker, which I've done a million times. They're
the little ones where you've got to put the tab down,
the gas starts going through and you just click the thing.
(21:12):
I'm trying to load this cannon and there's a cocker
going next to me, and all of a sudden they
can't just like the gas must have come out of
what it hadn't clicked in, and the gas just goes whoosh.
I burn all the hairs.
Speaker 2 (21:22):
On my arm.
Speaker 1 (21:22):
It goes out straight away and everyone's in the sheck.
My brother comes over and Ryan just straight straight out
of his mouth. This is what happens when your parents
divorce when you're young. I go and live with dad
and you went to live with mum. That's what that's
why this is open. And then it just became the
odgoing gag, and it is true. So when I was
when I was eight, my brother was ten, my parents divorce.
(21:43):
My older brother and older sister stayed with dad. It
was very rural, rough, hard edged, you cook your own
dinner basically, and then I went to live with mum.
It was very keary and come here, lovey, I'll make
your dinner. I'll wipe your ars until you're eighteen if
you want me to. Yeah, And so that was his example.
If I got stuck on my quad bike, he'd ride past,
going that's what happens when you live with mom dad. Bro,
(22:04):
Look at all the life skills I've got made, and
look at all the life schools you're missing, and where pissing?
I was laughing. But also some of some of it
is true. Like me, You can compare me and my
younger sister to my older sister and older brother, and
they are a bit more hard edged and could a
bit more independent. And it's that classic it's that classic
(22:24):
yarn around how hard or how independent? Because you just
mentioned we want them to be brave, strong, smart, independent kids, yeah,
and creating that, creating kids that can be independent. So
what way do you go? My brother is a big
advocate for how dad raised him. He was given examples
to his friends like Ryan would say, oh, Dad, I've
(22:44):
got no clean clothes from school, my uniform and Dad's like,
did you put them in the washing machine yesterday and
turn it on? And he's like, oh, nuh. And so
the next day he figures out how to use a
washing machine because his dad. But because Dad didn't have
another part and he's a solo dad at the time,
he didn't have someone to undo his thoughts, right, So
what or his idea of raising these kids? So if
(23:04):
he said go and do your own washing and have
a mum to come down the hallway and be like come, yeah,
I'll do it.
Speaker 2 (23:09):
Yeah, So they was not a good cop bad cop.
Speaker 1 (23:11):
It was just and it was like from the age
of ten, I think they were cooking like twice a night.
My older sister and older brother had to make their
own like make dinner. It was your thing, Like you
had to put the sausages in the pan and cut
the potatoes.
Speaker 2 (23:23):
Up and yeah yeah yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:25):
And we were we had mum doing everything for us
at one side. So I think there's also issues that
come with that. But again, yeah, one hundred percent and
you don't know what the balances and are also trying
to figure that out.
Speaker 2 (23:40):
So perhaps the balance is naturally achieved by having you
with the harder touch and Jody caving a little bit
and making them some toast. Maybe it's those two polar opposites,
not polar opposites, but you know, yeah, yeah, those two
opposing views that somewhere in the middle, the kid gets
a taste of tough love. But also there's that safety
(24:02):
net there constantly to catch them, you know. Maybe that's yeah,
we've talked about the before.
Speaker 1 (24:07):
Most like also that our kids. We both agree that
our kids see our wives as the safety in net.
They're the ones that they want to run to in
the morning. They're the ones that will straight, right straight
run past dad for the cuddle.
Speaker 2 (24:18):
And yeah, the times a dad to figure out figure
that out, ah that you're like, well, what's wrong with me?
But then you go, mum, well just always will always
be the safe place.
Speaker 1 (24:26):
Yeah. But again, yeah, and I'd like to compare it
to your idea of girls versus boys, because maybe if
I had sons or a son would be running to
me like I know I have a good friend and
they've got three boys and they their dad's the big
lovey dovey one, like he'll run. The boys will run
to dad and get the big hugs.
Speaker 2 (24:45):
And I think I've also heard that it goes in waves,
like over time it might change, like when you have
teenage girls and they clash more with their mum for
different reasons, you might be more of a like port
of call, either for emotional reasons or for manipulation reasons.
Speaker 4 (25:04):
Like I've got this boy for and I'm like I
want to know no, or even just running to you
in spite of Jody, like if they are butting heads
with Jody, they'll go to you and sort of look.
Speaker 2 (25:15):
At Jody and be like, yeah, I'm talking to dad now.
Speaker 1 (25:17):
So that's the other scariest here. I am jokingly saying,
like I'm at the hardest point these teenage parents out
there right now.
Speaker 2 (25:23):
We are going to get.
Speaker 1 (25:27):
In the car going wait, just you wait, And all
I can all I can think of is that the
challenging becomes more challenging you because my kids are constantly
challenging us. Now that wasn't a thing. Now they all
challenge you and everything you say, everything you do, even
as I stop brushing my teeth. The other thing, Miela
walks past and said, Dad, that wasn't two minutes. Yeah,
(25:47):
she said that to me. You didn't brush your teeth
for too much just then. So I'm guessing that the
challenging gets more and then the naudius they'll say things
will go to another level. They're like, you're going to
get a call instead of your kid, you know, refusing
to get their dinner. You're gonna get a call because
your kid has spray painted on the school fence at fourteen.
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (26:06):
And you're going what I would give for the days
when not eating this stew was the main problem that
I had, right.
Speaker 1 (26:13):
Because apparently there's a period a lot of appearance message
and also to had a dead being like you wait,
I just get a grunt now and then a grunt
when they get home, and a grunt at the table,
And part of me is like, sounds pretty good, sounds
pretty sounds pretty quiet. It sounds like a chill home,
like I can put my You're saying I could put
my TV show on because they're in the room.
Speaker 2 (26:33):
Just some experience, and you want to message us a
voice message about like what do you think was the
most challenging if you're in it right now, what's the
most challenging age and why? I've just updated the settings
on our social media, Like heaps and messages were getting rejected.
I've updated the settings. If you haven't been able to
voice message us before, hopefully maybe you should be able
to do it now because it's been I think I've
(26:54):
fixed it.
Speaker 1 (26:54):
So okay, just about eighteen months and we've figured it out.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
Guys, we do have some feedback, so let's say quick break.
Speaker 1 (27:02):
And do that.
Speaker 5 (27:03):
Sweet as Hello Terrichordy, Oh, hello, Derek Clinton, Jordan. I
just wanted to say I love the podcast. Did Irish listener?
Did people believe that was a listener?
Speaker 2 (27:13):
Yeah, it's Irish Jordan. This is a message.
Speaker 1 (27:18):
I hope it's a South African person just to rub
a bit more salt in your wound. We all have
the wound.
Speaker 2 (27:22):
Yeah, this is a real person called Hill's with a
real message.
Speaker 6 (27:26):
Hey, Jordan and Clint. I just listened to the Clint's
got a secret episode about the cleaner as I coincidentally
am cleaning my mum's house because I am to stay
at home parent at the moment, so I clean mum's
house for a cashy. But I think that having a
cleaner is awesome because you're giving someone else a job,
(27:48):
and so many mums and people who can't work like
a nine to five job do cleaning. And I think
it's awesome because it's just that whole like circle of
life going round and around around.
Speaker 2 (28:01):
It's a nice beat to look at it. Yeah, helping
someone else out.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
It's fantastic that it gives people job opportunities where they
pay fair tax and they registered their job. I hear
I'm just helping you out there, because yeah, clean is
out there doing an awesome tax job. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:17):
I definitely didn't hear clean. I didn't hear Cashi our cleaner.
Full disclosure. We pay eighty dollars a fortnight for our
cleaner to come. She comes for two hours a fortnight cash. No, no, no,
but I didn't check.
Speaker 1 (28:29):
Maybe I could do cash.
Speaker 2 (28:30):
She definitely is in that situation where she has young
kids in a normal work schedule wouldn't work for her.
Like one of her kids was sick the other day,
so she messaged and said, hey, is it okay if
my boy comes, he's not contagious, He'll just sit in
the corner on his iPad and that doesn't affect us.
That's fine. It's a kid friendly house anyway. It's a
it's a family home, so that's helpful. We also talked
about you and I talked about because you said that
(28:52):
you have had a cleaner in the past, and we
talked about sort of the reluctance within us to do
that because of the way we were raised. I got
a message from someone else who listens to the podcast
who said that she is her family is from Spain.
Originally every body there has a cleaner. Rich, middle poor,
everybody has a cleaner. It's just the way, and it
(29:12):
depends on what type of cleaner you get. She said,
it's just not even a thing. And you often have
the same cleaner for years and years and years and
years and years, to the point that you you know
them super well. They're almost like part of the family.
It's just the way that it works. And so she said,
as soon as they had kids and things were busy,
they didn't even hesitate to get a cleaner. Kiwis are
(29:33):
weird about it, but.
Speaker 1 (29:34):
We have it. It's probably the tall poppy syndrome. A
little bit comes in like here in New Zealand. If
you get a little bit successful in anything, in any
way of life, money step up on the ladder, it's
hard for your friends circle to support you. Like deep
down we have this rooted thing and us we're like,
oh what a deck, look at you. So when you're like,
I've got a cleaner, we have this fear in the
(29:55):
back of our head where people like showing off rich guy,
what a dick? Don't like him?
Speaker 2 (29:58):
Now the most exciting part of our fortnite when the
cleaner comes.
Speaker 1 (30:02):
So I had I had a great feedback from my
wife was emailing meet's teacher who's had intermediate who's been
having the puberty chats, and it was about something else
generic because there's big sporting Aimes games thing on at
the moment. It's where yeah, eleven and twelve year olds
from all around New Zealand competing against each other in sports. Anyway,
(30:23):
my wife's emailing her teacher, and then the teacher also
just added on like a ps her Jordan's podcast on puberty.
Oh yeah, and then it just I forget who listens. Yeah,
straight away I'm like hand and bloody head in my hands, like,
oh gosh, what did I say? Have I said anything
to throw this lovely teacher under the bus.
Speaker 2 (30:42):
Was I saying, yeah, bad? It's the teacher who is
doing the puberty chat.
Speaker 1 (30:46):
The teacher who's doing the puberty chat. But I think
I haven't listened back. But I think back, and I
didn't say anything bad.
Speaker 2 (30:52):
But I wrote my teachers from high school.
Speaker 1 (30:55):
But yeah, but you just forget who listens. And I
don't know. I feel like I'm just talking to you
and parents out there that I'll never ever meet. I
like to think I'm talking to all your lovely parents
who's at home, only bump into you. I don't want
to be awkward, and you come up to me and
start talking about puberty. I'm not saying you can't not
do that, but I get into this lit right now.
I'm in my safe buttle bubble when the parenting hangover
(31:16):
as we record this, it's just you, me and a
parent out there that just wants to hear us vent
about our aging bodies.
Speaker 2 (31:23):
But I think that's how we get a real and
honest take. Right. You're not censoring yourself, and that's what
makes it listenable. No, I wants to listen to a
podcast of two people who are like saying what they
think people want to hear.
Speaker 1 (31:35):
Yeah, hopefully we're not doing that, but I am. Yeah.
Now I get awkward about bump hees to the teacher
and her came out to me and saying, how about
those wet dreams? Eh?
Speaker 2 (31:43):
Well, I think you did a good job because we
got this message too from Chris. He said. I just
wanted to say good job to Jordan with how you
handled the awkward discussions with your eldest around the puberty topic.
It's great that she feels comfortable talking to you about it.
Our eldest had her first year at intermediate last year
and we had similar conversations. It was an eye opener,
(32:04):
but a relief that she was compor to talk with
us about it. Also, even though we want them to
remain innocent to these things for as long as possible,
even if the school doesn't teach them officially, they will
learn about it at school from other kids. They are brutal.
Just wait till you go to an intermediate school camp.
Being able to chat to parents is important because it
(32:26):
helps them filter and discern what topic and what isn't appropriate. Unfortunately,
there's a lot of parents who do avoid it. The
closest thing I got to the puberty conversation with my
parents was watching There's Something about Mary with Mum when
I was thirteen.
Speaker 1 (32:42):
Just how old was I when that came out?
Speaker 2 (32:44):
Probably that age.
Speaker 1 (32:45):
I think I even remember thinking, what was that? What's
he just put in his hair? Yeah? What is that?
What's just going on? What's she just put in through
her hair? That moment?
Speaker 2 (32:55):
I remember watching American Pie when I was twelve and
not really understanding the jokes, like the pale ale and
I was like, what is he doing to that apple pie?
I don't really get these jokes.
Speaker 1 (33:07):
I just remember the really hot model girl who got
her boobs out. And because I think my parents were
there as we're watching, in my older brothers and stepsisters
and that so and then me just trying to act
like I'm real cool and comfortable in that moment, watching
like it doesn't even phaze me. We're inside, I'm just saying,
oh my god, boo boo boo boobs both both I
want to turn and say to everyone, did you see
those boobs?
Speaker 2 (33:26):
Did you know called? I love those boobs? I don't know.
Speaker 1 (33:29):
Those boobs are way better than what I remember Mom's
boobs being.
Speaker 2 (33:35):
This person wants to be anonymous. It's on the Puberty
Chat as well.
Speaker 1 (33:39):
Name them. It's Karen Tiffany.
Speaker 2 (33:42):
No, she want to be anonymous. Okay, my ten year
old has a friend who has a sixteen year old sibling.
My ten year old has a friend who has a
sixteen year old sibling. Okay, so we're talking. Yeah, I
got asked what a gobgob was and did it mean
sucking on a pe n I s after a piece
(34:03):
of my soul died. I just very matter of factly,
see I had not heard it called a gobgob before.
I knew the term gobby for that, and yes, that
is what it means. My kid was grossed out and amused,
So I just said, that's something to be done if
you want to, and only with someone who loves and
(34:25):
respects you, and who you love and respect. Just like Jordan,
I'm the parent who has to explain everything, so I
have been trying to answer all the questions in a calm,
matter of fact way and only answer the questions asked.
We talked about that, just sticking to the questions that
they have and not giving them too much information. As
much as I am sure, I do not want to
(34:47):
know what my kids get up to as teenagers. I
do want them to feel safe and comfortable to ask
all questions and tell me what's happening with them.
Speaker 1 (34:57):
I'm dying inside for you. I'm not a mature, big
grown dad in this moment that freaked me out. Your
ten year old has asked what a gobgob is and
you've had to say this is what it is. Well done.
But gosh, I don't know. I don't think I would
have said it in that moment. I would have come
up with something. Oh I remember, I remember my nine
(35:17):
year old stepsister and younger sister. We're camping and they
come up to the table one evening as we're all
there camping and they go to my dad, dad, what's
an orgy? And Dad's dad's half boozed and goes, that's
when you need a real, real big ship. And I
(35:38):
just lost it for the knicks for the next like
few nights of camping where us older people are saying, oh,
I need to go have a quick orgy. I just
need to go a quick.
Speaker 2 (35:48):
Or did anybody sit the kids straight or.
Speaker 1 (35:51):
They hopefully they know now I'm not sure.
Speaker 2 (35:55):
It's going the playground. They'll be like, oh, guys, I
need to go to the bathroom for an orgy.
Speaker 1 (36:00):
But without skipping a beat, I just remember Dad going,
it's just when you need a big ship.
Speaker 2 (36:04):
And that's the parenting style that your brother and old
a sister got. Yeahah their questions.
Speaker 1 (36:09):
Well, yeah, where I sat down and I remember to
this day, had a full, relaxed, normal yarn with my
mum and I think my stepdad was there as well,
and just I got everything answered and one easy like
after a chicken roast dinner. Yeah, I was just like
h and so like I wake up with a with
a stiffy every morning, Like yeah, that's normal, that's fine,
and all this stuff and okay, cool, Which is the
(36:32):
way you're going to Are you gonna eat that? Can? I?
Can I finish that?
Speaker 2 (36:37):
Speaking of boner, you're going to eat that drumstick? That's
a feedback. I would love if we get bombarded with
messages from people who haven't been able to message us
before now that those settings have been opened. What I
really like for next week's podcast is just answered the
simple question what is the hardest age to parent and why?
Speaker 1 (36:56):
Yeah, I think we've got to. I think we've got
to filter this and put it out to parents that
have can answer it. You can't come through if you've
just got a one year old and a three year old,
parents that are got your teenagers with you, Yes, okay,
Or they've all flown the coop.
Speaker 2 (37:11):
Yeah, miss my message my mum and ask her and
get that.
Speaker 1 (37:15):
Inspect from her. Problem as they've all lost their mum
so they can't remember the purity. What's the age of God?
Speaker 2 (37:23):
Imagine she missed back and she was like thirty seven.
Speaker 1 (37:25):
Yeah, or message back and be like I don't know.
Nineteen year old client who still hadn't moved out, was
the hardest, who wasn't paying any board and was just
gaming downstairs in the basement eating pizza.
Speaker 2 (37:37):
Good catch up every good week, send us some messages.
Speaker 1 (37:40):
See you next week, guys, see as gob God. And
you've got to tell a ten year old, oh fuck,
This is an iHeartRadio New Zealand podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
This week on the podcast, We're gonna try and figure
out what the hardest age of parenting is. What's the
hardest stage of parenting.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
I'm struggling and maybe I'm there, Maybe I've reached the
peak hardest parenting age. I'm tapping out, I'm done, I'm
packing my stuff, I'm leaving. Jody can do it now?
Speaker 2 (00:28):
Or the way through your parenting journey, people just say
to you or just you wait mate, you think it's
hard now? And I feel like that happens every single
stage of parenting infants, toddlers, school age kids, pre teens, teens.
So what is it? What is the hardest age of parenting?
And who's got a harder job at the moment? Is
it me or Jordan?
Speaker 1 (00:48):
Yeah? No one ever says to you, oh, you're done, yeah,
well done.
Speaker 2 (00:53):
It's always you're going into the easy bit now, yeah yeah,
oh you've got past that.
Speaker 1 (00:57):
But apparently this is just parenting is everest? You start
like base camp's easy, even though you're suffocating from lack
of you know, bloody year up there, but it only
gets harder and you're gasping for air by the time
you get to the top, and then finally they leave
at eighteen and you can slide back down your rest
and get back back to base camp.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
Plus some amazing feedback on our puberty conversation. So let's
get into another episode of the Parenting Hangover.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
I promise that the rest of the episode is way
better than the off the cuff everest analogiation. I apologize
that since you're there, I like that intro here has
me to be to be snappy. Let's refer to it
Clinton House the kids mate.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
Good. Did you see the Instagram story that I put
up about my daughter supporting South Africa and the rugby.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
No, I've been away on a no phone service lads trip.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
So rugby is very important to me as it is
to you. It's my sport of choice. All Blacks played
on the weekend against the world champion South Africans and
they nearly won after losing last week. They did it,
they didn't win and the whole game. My daughter Maggie
was telling me, I want spring Box to win. I
want spring Box to win the whole game. I'm gonna
(02:09):
barely cook the rugby breakfast, doing all the things offered
her her all Black jersey to wear. I want spring
Boks to win. Have listened to this. This is Meggie
just after full time and the All Blacks lost to
South Africa. What do you think about the rugby? Why?
Speaker 3 (02:24):
Why?
Speaker 2 (02:25):
Why did you like the rugby?
Speaker 3 (02:28):
Because I like, I wanted she want and don't want
to playing bucks?
Speaker 2 (02:35):
That's good?
Speaker 1 (02:35):
Is it?
Speaker 2 (02:36):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (02:37):
Okay, okay, I am like I'm an I want her
playing box away and sling bucks gand away.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
Hey, Meggie, you get out of here. You get the
fuck out of here, Meggie through the heart. You disown
her mate. She can pack her bags and leave the
home going for another country, and you're in the national
sports Does she That's the thing I was going to say,
she's so young that she's not doing it just to
wind you up or have a joke. It seems like
(03:09):
she's not at that age to do that.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
No, I think she's old enough to be winding me
up as a Because I tried to play it off,
I was like, oh, kids just pick based on color.
I was like, do you just like them because they're
green and blacks? A bit boring? She goes, No, I
like spring Boks. Look my oldest toy at least I've
got one daughter. I can still hand the inheritance of
nine All Blacks jerseys down to when they get old enough.
(03:33):
She told me that she wanted New Zealand to win,
but actually she's only just come around. I've until recently
watching All Blacks and Warriors games. I'm like, we're going
for this team? Do you guys want the Warriors to
win as well? Tooy's way of watching the game has
been I think I'll wait to see who wins and
then I'll choose a team.
Speaker 1 (03:51):
I find it's a great way to bet as well.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
It's a way to Yeah. So look, disappointing but nice
that they're interested. You know they could they could not
give two shits about the rugby, which would really upset me.
How's your kids.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
I've been away. I've been away from Thursday and I
got home Sunday afternoon. I went on a yearly leads
Quad bite trip into the bush, getting stuck in mud,
realizing again, look, we don't want to go over it
too much, but you're older and you get tired and
your body hurts. We're all laughing as a group because
(04:25):
I think it was on the Saturday night we were
all in bed by nine pm. Thirteen guys in their thirties,
one forty year old, and we're all dads, basically ninety
percent of the group's dads, and we're happily in bed
by nine pm, like you're out for a weekend. No wives,
no kids. You'd think these guys are going to be reckless.
(04:45):
They're going to be abut today night, two new beers,
you know, in this little heart in the middle of
no nat Even the first night when it was you know,
we got a bit of energy. I think it was
eleven pm. We're kind of just all right, that's us, guys.
Who's still got a light on? Turn your light off.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
I love that. I love that. That's my dream because
we've got a couple of annual boys trips that we
do too, and the last one went through into about
four in the morning, and now it puts me off.
I'm like, I'd love if we could do this boys trip,
have heaps of farden and then you know, get in
bed by midnight. Wouldn't they just make wouldn't they make
life better?
Speaker 1 (05:18):
And this one's great where no one is interested in
staying up till absurd hours. But look, there's no rush
for us to get up in the morning whatsoever. No
one has to see the sun rise anything. We're all
up like six am. Everyone just starts talking and we're
all up. By six thirty am. Everyone is up and
we're like cooking our breakfast, making our cups of tea
in this little hut, and figuring out what we're going
(05:39):
to do for the day. And so I've been on
this big trip, injured myself a bit, saw shoulders, saw elbow,
classic gyarns. Get home and you think, look, I've got
to pack my stuff away, and I'm okay, I've got
to be with the kids now. I've got an afternoon
hours here. I haven't seen the All Blacks game yet,
and I wanted to see that, but I was like, no, no,
put that to the side. I've been away. Got to
say hi, hang out and instantly, like within ten minutes,
(06:04):
they're just at each other's throats and and and JODI's like, yeah,
there's been a bit of that this since you've been away.
Like they're just oh, you can't, you can't win. And
I've come and I've been thinking about this for a while.
I'm at the point now and I'm there too early
where when you had younger kids, you'd see these parents
that have got teenagers and that all go, oh, wait
till they get older, Like you'd be complaining, being like,
(06:26):
oh my five and three year old or my seven
and five year old so hard? Oh, these are just
wait till they get older, wait till they're teenagers. Mine
aren't teenagers. But I feel like I am there. We
are in our hardest parenting stage right now. Babies are
a breeze. Toddlers are a breeze. Young little five year
old kids easy, wait till they get older. Man, Oh
(06:49):
I'm there. I'm that parent. Now.
Speaker 2 (06:51):
That's what we're going to discuss this week because I'm not.
I'm at the five and three out of the baby
baby bit and coming through the toddler bit. But I
kind of find it hard to believe. And I want
to debate this with you because we're at different ends
of the spectrum, Like is it harder or is it
just whatever is in front of you is hard and
you forget how hard that other bit was, Like what
(07:14):
is it that you're finding so much harder about having
older kids than when you had a bunch of toddlers?
Speaker 1 (07:22):
Are your two girls running at you in the morning
every minute because one of them's trying to brush their teeth,
but the other ones now and they're trying to brush
their teeth. Or are they yelling running at you, yelling
that someone's used their brush their hair brush and they
shouldn't touch that hair brush. Or are they yelling at
you that their hair isn't working today and it's not
great and they can't go to school because their hair
(07:43):
is not perfect, Or are they angry at how one's
chewing their breakfast and is chewing their breakfast too loudly
right by you? Like I feel like at the younger age,
they're not at each other's throats. They're not your classic
but and Lisa, they're not that getting into fights with
each other. When they're younger. They kind of like each other.
They get on and they play with each other, and
it's now it can be like pulling teeth. I'm not
(08:06):
saying this is everyone's kids, but for our kids like
it generally is, though, is pretty much the same across
the spectrum. If I wanted Mela, my eleven year old,
to play with Nla, yes, sometimes it happens naturally, which
is very rare. If anyone in the house. Those two
argue the most. That's my youngest and my oldest. They
butt heads. Okay, yeah, And if there's that time where
(08:27):
Nala's wanting to do something, me and Jody are busy
doing something, We're like, Mila, can you just play this
with Nala? That's just the hardest even that you've asked her.
Shouldest make out like it's the hardest task you've ever
asked anyone and not pull it off because it isn't
genuine and she doesn't want to be doing it. And
I think six nine and eleven, it doesn't get any worse.
Speaker 2 (08:47):
It doesn't get any worse. People do say that to
me all the time. They're like, you'll and parents love
to say it when you have the width of a complaint,
when you're like, oh it's been a bit tough recently.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
You're right.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
People love to whip out, oh just you wait, and
I excuse that my French. I fucking hate that. I
hate that phrase. I hate it. When they were born
and they're like, oh just you wait till they are
toddler's I hated it then. So I really want to
know if there's any truth to it. I think you
do mentally move on from the hard bits, and you
(09:18):
tend to remember the really good. But that's human nature.
I think that's the only reason that you'd have more kids.
I will give you an example of a fight that
my two head this morning. Two he got upset because
Maggie told Ty that her smoothie tasted better. It's the
same smoothie, and Meggie said, my smoothie tastes better than yours.
And two he goes, Mom, Maggie said that her smoothie
(09:39):
tastes better than mine, and I said, well does it?
She goes, I don't know. So those are happening.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
Do you think the smoothie thing right, because that sounds
like a real young argument, right, smoothie. You'd think that
as they got older, arguments like that would stop, right,
because that's like real childish. Yeah, Alba says to me yesterday, mum, menases,
I smell like trash and I should live in a
rubbish bin. And I've stopped, and she then Albera gets
(10:07):
angry at me. They're both standing there and I'm going, Alba,
you're almost ten. You're old enough to know that you're
not stinky like a piece of rubbish, and you know
that you shouldn't live in a rubbish bin. So you
need to ignore that kind of words and don't let
them affixt you. And she's like looking at me and
then looks at Mela and she said, well, am I
getting told of? Yes? Am I getting told off?
Speaker 3 (10:25):
For me?
Speaker 1 (10:26):
I might No, I'll talk to Melo now in a second.
But I'm just telling you you've got to have a
bit of a thicker skin and let that kind of
silly stuff slide, because that's silly. What if someone said, Alba,
you're a unicorn and you fart out rainbows? Are you
going to run off and cry it? No, because it's
a silly that's not I get A five year old
might get upset by that, but not a ten year old. Mate.
You're almost I'm finding that's my that's my dad. Twenty
(10:48):
twenty four has been the year of me going you're
almost so Mela's almost twelve, Alba's almost ten. Nahla, I'm
saying you're almost seven, like that's the next birthdays, and
that is my classic dadline this year. Nahl, come on,
you're almost seven, Okay. I don't want to see you
trying to ask you again? Can someone put a week
box in my bowl. When the weep box is right
(11:09):
in front of you, you don't need to yell out
to mom and Dad's come running down the wall to
put the weeks in the bowl. You can put the bike.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
I get that. I get that being angry at them
for their reaction and they're like, but I'm telling you
they did the bad thing. You should be telling them off.
I do that as well Tooey, and I expect it
from Twoey. We expect a lot more from our older child,
no matter what they are. I know and the level
of expectation put on them. There must be some psychology
to her. I don't know what it is, but Tooey
(11:35):
will come out to me and she'll go Dad. Meggie said,
she's never gonna play with me again, because that's their
thing to say when they passed off each other, I'm
never gonna play with you again.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
Do they turn slightly American?
Speaker 2 (11:46):
Yeah? Yeah, yeah, Twoey, I'm never playing with you again.
So she'll come out. Meggie said, she's never gonna play
with me again. And I try and speak to her rationally,
which is a dumb thing to do because kids don't
have a rational brain like that part of their brain
hasn't developed yet. And I say to her, twoy, how
many times has Meggie said she's never gonna play with
you again? And yet here you are playing with her again.
(12:09):
It doesn't matter, It doesn't matter, but it does. It
does matter to them, So that I get that. You're frustration.
That's almost the most frustrating part of it. You're like,
can you just grow the frick up and think like
a normal person? But they can't. They likely can't. I
would have expected them to be able to by twelve, though.
Speaker 1 (12:27):
Two you should be able to call those bluffs out
from Maggie because look, she calls out you know, she
knows the bluffs that mom and dad do in the house.
That yeah, that never can't follow through with If you
don't eat that you will not have this for a week,
and then three days later they're just chuckling as they
get to watch TV again.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
You have to be I learned really early. Lucy instilled
this to me that you have to follow through with
your bluffs. Like if you say, if you don't stop
doing what you're doing, we're not going to Millie's birthday party,
and if you're going to say it because you in
the heat of the moment, when you're frustrated in their
scream and you go for the big guns. You go,
what are they most excited about? I'm going to threaten
(13:06):
to take it away. If you threaten, you have to
follow through. Otherwise they just see you for the for
the shell, for the fake threatening parent that you are.
They see straight through it.
Speaker 1 (13:17):
Me and Jody have very aligned parenting, Like you sit down,
you talk about your kids and what we're doing and
it's not a planned thing, but we're very open and
how we're doing stuff right. And I'm a big believer
on here's the threat. It's not a threat. If you
don't do this, this will happen. Jody will undo it
within it two minutes in front of me, like and
(13:40):
come on, Jordan, you can't do that. And I'm like, no.
If you're complaining about the shoe that took us all
Sunday afternoon sitting in the crop pop to make and
you've never even tried it in your life, and then
you've set at the table and decided to have a
tantrum because you don't like the look of it and
you don't want it, I'll say, Okay, this is what
dinner is or nothing, and that's it. Like, that's me
one hundred percent real. That happened to me as a kid.
I never died. And then two minutes later I hear
(14:02):
the toaster pop and Jody's spreading gem on a piece
of dis.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
Because you can't be the thought of them going hungry.
But in that situation, the kid has won.
Speaker 1 (14:11):
The kid has won.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
The kid has won.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
I say this all the time. You've got it. You
gotta be. There's moments you've got to be the hard ass.
You've got to be the bad guy. Yeah, do your
kids talk back to you at this sage? No, they don't.
They love it. They're not talking back to you with
attitude or every every little thing you ask them to
do is met with a reply. They didn't need to reply, Hey, gels,
go grab your bag because they were about to go
(14:34):
on a second. Oh do I m has Mela grabbed
her bag? I'm like, what I wasn't asking I was
asking you to get your bag? Oh okay, but don't
don't you have to? Or just there's always something, there's
always something to be said. When you're like, there was
a whole era of raising them where you just said hey,
(14:55):
and they almost likes to do things right you. Your
kids are a classic, like, hey, Maggie, do you want
to go grab your blanket over them? Pop it in
your bag? She's a holy shit, I get to grab
jo getting put in my bag. Now it is like
they will they will crawl along the carpet. They know
they're doing it, but just to wind you up, they'll
pretend that their legs aren't working. And you're not toddlers anymore.
Speaker 2 (15:14):
They still find a way, even at this age to
make it hard. So I'll say, hey, Meggie, do you
want to go? Can you go get your blanket and
put it in your bag? And she'll go, oh my god,
yes I want to do that. Yes, I want to
do that. So she goes and get to it. But
then Tui will overhear it and she'll go, I want
a blanket to be able to go and pick up
and put it into my bag. Oh god, it's not
a treat. It's not a treat. It's just I just
(15:35):
needed her to do it. But then you have to
be fair and equitable and you have to go, all right,
here's a made up job for you to go and do.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
I guess I think this episode today, guys, is just
venting because you've just hit another nail on the head
or an example, and what do you they call it anecdote. Yesterday, Alba,
my middle kid, is in kappahuker So Maori dance performance
group at school, and she's been asking for us to
make a poi for her, which is a traditional performing
Maori performing You could almost call it an instrument, but
(16:04):
it's yeah, yeah, way. Picture picture a puffy sock on
one end of a rope, and if you bail that
sock up and tie it to a piece of string,
you can swing it around and hit it or make up.
It's kind of sound shit example, but anyway, So I
make one for Albert because she's in Kabahaka she needs
it on her next minute, Miela has run down to
her room, shut the door, and now she's making one
(16:26):
because she wants to be able to come out and
say look how good mine is, and then also be
paying up a storm. And then I spend quite a
bit of like a good twenty five minutes making this
poi for Alba, and we're all done and it's almost dinner,
and then Nahla just real quietly and acutely comes up, Dad,
Can I please? Can I please have a POI? I
(16:46):
had to just hold back all my rage of just
being like, yeah, I just want to say, mate, you
don't need a POI. You can share Meala's okay, yep,
every day. Get the string all that stuff you just
saw me put away, go get it all back out
and start making you a boy.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
Do you think that any of this as girl specific
because we only have experience with girls? Do you think
that the tiny little infighting happens as much with boys
as well?
Speaker 1 (17:14):
Like I've only got Yeah, there's probably a lot of
girls specific stuff. I'd like to think that boys chuck
the uniform on, wrestle in the lounge, and then run
outside and play on the trampoline until you say let's
go to school.
Speaker 2 (17:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:26):
I don't know that's a dream, but I do. I
can think back to my own experiences where I was
very much the older brother who was a classic punch
in the arm or do that I'm going to punch
you arm? I had that, so I was always very
much a sick and a winge to my mum. Like
Ryan said, He's going to punch me in the up
and then head here and I'd get a punch in
(17:46):
the arm, and so we had a lot of fighting,
and me and my brother buttered heads.
Speaker 2 (17:51):
I'm from brothers, and we did fight physically, but there
was a lot of winging as well. There's a lot
of winging from me, there's a lot of winging from them.
So maybe that's an unfair generalization, but I'd love to
know from parents of boys if this rings true, if
it's the same, Like if you want to flick us
a message like a voice message for next week's episode,
I'd love to know, because I do genuinely believe the
(18:12):
boy parenting experience versus the girl parenting experience has fundamental
differences that people don't talk about as much.
Speaker 1 (18:20):
Yeah, you get peed on when you're change an eppy.
I did write down, and it could be this is
this is a deep psychological angle to it, but transition,
that's what I wrote down. There's an age there at
an age right where you have to be quite hands
on with them. So I can't remember this is from
your zero to three because if you stuff it up,
they're going to stab themselves with a knife or you know,
(18:42):
you've got to.
Speaker 2 (18:42):
Change the hand them in what way like you've got
to be there to catch them all physically hands on,
got to be there to catch them.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
You're physically feeding them, you're physically helping them get dressed,
you're physically you know, yeah, your actual physical hands on
because it's this little human that can't do stuff for
themselves yet. And then they start figuring stuff out and
they can do stuff on their own, and you kind
of get used to. Then you're more hands off, right,
you have more time to yourself. The more independent your
(19:10):
kids get, you have more time to yourself. And then
maybe there's a period where you get used to having
that little bit more time to yourself. And now I'm
at a period where again it's almost like they want
us to be hands on with them again or I
don't know the dynamics, so it's almost like as a
period as a parent, you're all of a sudden like
what the hell, sorry, what so what do you need?
You don't need, like you don't need me to help
(19:31):
you with that. And it's like maybe maybe they're all
at a period where it's just the dynamic of them,
all three of them right now, clashing kids. Maybe they
need physical parent hands on. I don't know, interaction and
getting amongst I have no idea, but I think that
could also be a thing like I feel for me.
I'm getting annoyed sometimes at being asked things that I
(19:51):
know you usually do this by yourself. I know you
don't need my help. Why have you come to me
as I'm trying to under a quad bike trying to
change a tire for the most silly thing that I
know you can do Alba or Mela or any of them,
and I don't know, you might just have to have
And yeah, I still got to be hands on with them.
They're still my little kids. I don't know.
Speaker 2 (20:11):
You're suggesting that possibly they're as frustrated with us as
we are with them, because yeah, they're not getting from us,
they're not doing the things that we want them to do,
and they're not getting from us the things that they
need but can't tell us that they need.
Speaker 1 (20:26):
Wow. Wow, Wow.
Speaker 2 (20:29):
So what's the line? How do you because because all
we're trying to do is create smart, confident, successful, independent people,
where's the line where you start bringing in the tough
love and just going I know you, I know you
want me to sort this out. You sort your own
shit out, and I say this for as much of
my mental health as yours. Like go go.
Speaker 1 (20:49):
You bring up such a good point where just on
this hunting trip, right it was with my brother and
a lot of my brother's friends that are my friends.
Vicariously is that the word through him? And he made
a joke. What was it? I was trying to do something.
I was trying to like, I was trying to light
a gas cooker, which I've done a million times. They're
the little ones where you've got to put the tab down,
the gas starts going through and you just click the thing.
(21:12):
I'm trying to load this cannon and there's a cocker
going next to me, and all of a sudden they
can't just like the gas must have come out of
what it hadn't clicked in, and the gas just goes whoosh.
I burn all the hairs.
Speaker 2 (21:22):
On my arm.
Speaker 1 (21:22):
It goes out straight away and everyone's in the sheck.
My brother comes over and Ryan just straight straight out
of his mouth. This is what happens when your parents
divorce when you're young. I go and live with dad
and you went to live with mum. That's what that's
why this is open. And then it just became the
odgoing gag, and it is true. So when I was
when I was eight, my brother was ten, my parents divorce.
(21:43):
My older brother and older sister stayed with dad. It
was very rural, rough, hard edged, you cook your own
dinner basically, and then I went to live with mum.
It was very keary and come here, lovey, I'll make
your dinner. I'll wipe your ars until you're eighteen if
you want me to. Yeah, And so that was his example.
If I got stuck on my quad bike, he'd ride past,
going that's what happens when you live with mom dad. Bro,
(22:04):
Look at all the life skills I've got made, and
look at all the life schools you're missing, and where pissing?
I was laughing. But also some of some of it
is true. Like me, You can compare me and my
younger sister to my older sister and older brother, and
they are a bit more hard edged and could a
bit more independent. And it's that classic it's that classic
(22:24):
yarn around how hard or how independent? Because you just
mentioned we want them to be brave, strong, smart, independent kids, yeah,
and creating that, creating kids that can be independent. So
what way do you go? My brother is a big
advocate for how dad raised him. He was given examples
to his friends like Ryan would say, oh, Dad, I've
(22:44):
got no clean clothes from school, my uniform and Dad's like,
did you put them in the washing machine yesterday and
turn it on? And he's like, oh, nuh. And so
the next day he figures out how to use a
washing machine because his dad. But because Dad didn't have
another part and he's a solo dad at the time,
he didn't have someone to undo his thoughts, right, So
what or his idea of raising these kids? So if
(23:04):
he said go and do your own washing and have
a mum to come down the hallway and be like come, yeah,
I'll do it.
Speaker 2 (23:09):
Yeah, So they was not a good cop bad cop.
Speaker 1 (23:11):
It was just and it was like from the age
of ten, I think they were cooking like twice a night.
My older sister and older brother had to make their
own like make dinner. It was your thing, Like you
had to put the sausages in the pan and cut
the potatoes.
Speaker 2 (23:23):
Up and yeah yeah yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:25):
And we were we had mum doing everything for us
at one side. So I think there's also issues that
come with that. But again, yeah, one hundred percent and
you don't know what the balances and are also trying
to figure that out.
Speaker 2 (23:40):
So perhaps the balance is naturally achieved by having you
with the harder touch and Jody caving a little bit
and making them some toast. Maybe it's those two polar opposites,
not polar opposites, but you know, yeah, yeah, those two
opposing views that somewhere in the middle, the kid gets
a taste of tough love. But also there's that safety
(24:02):
net there constantly to catch them, you know. Maybe that's yeah,
we've talked about the before.
Speaker 1 (24:07):
Most like also that our kids. We both agree that
our kids see our wives as the safety in net.
They're the ones that they want to run to in
the morning. They're the ones that will straight, right straight
run past dad for the cuddle.
Speaker 2 (24:18):
And yeah, the times a dad to figure out figure
that out, ah that you're like, well, what's wrong with me?
But then you go, mum, well just always will always
be the safe place.
Speaker 1 (24:26):
Yeah. But again, yeah, and I'd like to compare it
to your idea of girls versus boys, because maybe if
I had sons or a son would be running to
me like I know I have a good friend and
they've got three boys and they their dad's the big
lovey dovey one, like he'll run. The boys will run
to dad and get the big hugs.
Speaker 2 (24:45):
And I think I've also heard that it goes in waves,
like over time it might change, like when you have
teenage girls and they clash more with their mum for
different reasons, you might be more of a like port
of call, either for emotional reasons or for manipulation reasons.
Speaker 4 (25:04):
Like I've got this boy for and I'm like I
want to know no, or even just running to you
in spite of Jody, like if they are butting heads
with Jody, they'll go to you and sort of look.
Speaker 2 (25:15):
At Jody and be like, yeah, I'm talking to dad now.
Speaker 1 (25:17):
So that's the other scariest here. I am jokingly saying,
like I'm at the hardest point these teenage parents out
there right now.
Speaker 2 (25:23):
We are going to get.
Speaker 1 (25:27):
In the car going wait, just you wait, And all
I can all I can think of is that the
challenging becomes more challenging you because my kids are constantly
challenging us. Now that wasn't a thing. Now they all
challenge you and everything you say, everything you do, even
as I stop brushing my teeth. The other thing, Miela
walks past and said, Dad, that wasn't two minutes. Yeah,
(25:47):
she said that to me. You didn't brush your teeth
for too much just then. So I'm guessing that the
challenging gets more and then the naudius they'll say things
will go to another level. They're like, you're going to
get a call instead of your kid, you know, refusing
to get their dinner. You're gonna get a call because
your kid has spray painted on the school fence at fourteen.
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (26:06):
And you're going what I would give for the days
when not eating this stew was the main problem that
I had, right.
Speaker 1 (26:13):
Because apparently there's a period a lot of appearance message
and also to had a dead being like you wait,
I just get a grunt now and then a grunt
when they get home, and a grunt at the table,
And part of me is like, sounds pretty good, sounds
pretty sounds pretty quiet. It sounds like a chill home,
like I can put my You're saying I could put
my TV show on because they're in the room.
Speaker 2 (26:33):
Just some experience, and you want to message us a
voice message about like what do you think was the
most challenging if you're in it right now, what's the
most challenging age and why? I've just updated the settings
on our social media, Like heaps and messages were getting rejected.
I've updated the settings. If you haven't been able to
voice message us before, hopefully maybe you should be able
to do it now because it's been I think I've
(26:54):
fixed it.
Speaker 1 (26:54):
So okay, just about eighteen months and we've figured it out.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
Guys, we do have some feedback, so let's say quick break.
Speaker 1 (27:02):
And do that.
Speaker 5 (27:03):
Sweet as Hello Terrichordy, Oh, hello, Derek Clinton, Jordan. I
just wanted to say I love the podcast. Did Irish listener?
Did people believe that was a listener?
Speaker 2 (27:13):
Yeah, it's Irish Jordan. This is a message.
Speaker 1 (27:18):
I hope it's a South African person just to rub
a bit more salt in your wound. We all have
the wound.
Speaker 2 (27:22):
Yeah, this is a real person called Hill's with a
real message.
Speaker 6 (27:26):
Hey, Jordan and Clint. I just listened to the Clint's
got a secret episode about the cleaner as I coincidentally
am cleaning my mum's house because I am to stay
at home parent at the moment, so I clean mum's
house for a cashy. But I think that having a
cleaner is awesome because you're giving someone else a job,
(27:48):
and so many mums and people who can't work like
a nine to five job do cleaning. And I think
it's awesome because it's just that whole like circle of
life going round and around around.
Speaker 2 (28:01):
It's a nice beat to look at it. Yeah, helping
someone else out.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
It's fantastic that it gives people job opportunities where they
pay fair tax and they registered their job. I hear
I'm just helping you out there, because yeah, clean is
out there doing an awesome tax job. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:17):
I definitely didn't hear clean. I didn't hear Cashi our cleaner.
Full disclosure. We pay eighty dollars a fortnight for our
cleaner to come. She comes for two hours a fortnight cash. No, no, no,
but I didn't check.
Speaker 1 (28:29):
Maybe I could do cash.
Speaker 2 (28:30):
She definitely is in that situation where she has young
kids in a normal work schedule wouldn't work for her.
Like one of her kids was sick the other day,
so she messaged and said, hey, is it okay if
my boy comes, he's not contagious, He'll just sit in
the corner on his iPad and that doesn't affect us.
That's fine. It's a kid friendly house anyway. It's a
it's a family home, so that's helpful. We also talked
about you and I talked about because you said that
(28:52):
you have had a cleaner in the past, and we
talked about sort of the reluctance within us to do
that because of the way we were raised. I got
a message from someone else who listens to the podcast
who said that she is her family is from Spain.
Originally every body there has a cleaner. Rich, middle poor,
everybody has a cleaner. It's just the way, and it
(29:12):
depends on what type of cleaner you get. She said,
it's just not even a thing. And you often have
the same cleaner for years and years and years and
years and years, to the point that you you know
them super well. They're almost like part of the family.
It's just the way that it works. And so she said,
as soon as they had kids and things were busy,
they didn't even hesitate to get a cleaner. Kiwis are
(29:33):
weird about it, but.
Speaker 1 (29:34):
We have it. It's probably the tall poppy syndrome. A
little bit comes in like here in New Zealand. If
you get a little bit successful in anything, in any
way of life, money step up on the ladder, it's
hard for your friends circle to support you. Like deep
down we have this rooted thing and us we're like,
oh what a deck, look at you. So when you're like,
I've got a cleaner, we have this fear in the
(29:55):
back of our head where people like showing off rich guy,
what a dick? Don't like him?
Speaker 2 (29:58):
Now the most exciting part of our fortnite when the
cleaner comes.
Speaker 1 (30:02):
So I had I had a great feedback from my
wife was emailing meet's teacher who's had intermediate who's been
having the puberty chats, and it was about something else
generic because there's big sporting Aimes games thing on at
the moment. It's where yeah, eleven and twelve year olds
from all around New Zealand competing against each other in sports. Anyway,
(30:23):
my wife's emailing her teacher, and then the teacher also
just added on like a ps her Jordan's podcast on puberty.
Oh yeah, and then it just I forget who listens. Yeah,
straight away I'm like hand and bloody head in my hands, like,
oh gosh, what did I say? Have I said anything
to throw this lovely teacher under the bus.
Speaker 2 (30:42):
Was I saying, yeah, bad? It's the teacher who is
doing the puberty chat.
Speaker 1 (30:46):
The teacher who's doing the puberty chat. But I think
I haven't listened back. But I think back, and I
didn't say anything bad.
Speaker 2 (30:52):
But I wrote my teachers from high school.
Speaker 1 (30:55):
But yeah, but you just forget who listens. And I
don't know. I feel like I'm just talking to you
and parents out there that I'll never ever meet. I
like to think I'm talking to all your lovely parents
who's at home, only bump into you. I don't want
to be awkward, and you come up to me and
start talking about puberty. I'm not saying you can't not
do that, but I get into this lit right now.
I'm in my safe buttle bubble when the parenting hangover
(31:16):
as we record this, it's just you, me and a
parent out there that just wants to hear us vent
about our aging bodies.
Speaker 2 (31:23):
But I think that's how we get a real and
honest take. Right. You're not censoring yourself, and that's what
makes it listenable. No, I wants to listen to a
podcast of two people who are like saying what they
think people want to hear.
Speaker 1 (31:35):
Yeah, hopefully we're not doing that, but I am. Yeah.
Now I get awkward about bump hees to the teacher
and her came out to me and saying, how about
those wet dreams? Eh?
Speaker 2 (31:43):
Well, I think you did a good job because we
got this message too from Chris. He said. I just
wanted to say good job to Jordan with how you
handled the awkward discussions with your eldest around the puberty topic.
It's great that she feels comfortable talking to you about it.
Our eldest had her first year at intermediate last year
and we had similar conversations. It was an eye opener,
(32:04):
but a relief that she was compor to talk with
us about it. Also, even though we want them to
remain innocent to these things for as long as possible,
even if the school doesn't teach them officially, they will
learn about it at school from other kids. They are brutal.
Just wait till you go to an intermediate school camp.
Being able to chat to parents is important because it
(32:26):
helps them filter and discern what topic and what isn't appropriate. Unfortunately,
there's a lot of parents who do avoid it. The
closest thing I got to the puberty conversation with my
parents was watching There's Something about Mary with Mum when
I was thirteen.
Speaker 1 (32:42):
Just how old was I when that came out?
Speaker 2 (32:44):
Probably that age.
Speaker 1 (32:45):
I think I even remember thinking, what was that? What's
he just put in his hair? Yeah? What is that?
What's just going on? What's she just put in through
her hair? That moment?
Speaker 2 (32:55):
I remember watching American Pie when I was twelve and
not really understanding the jokes, like the pale ale and
I was like, what is he doing to that apple pie?
I don't really get these jokes.
Speaker 1 (33:07):
I just remember the really hot model girl who got
her boobs out. And because I think my parents were
there as we're watching, in my older brothers and stepsisters
and that so and then me just trying to act
like I'm real cool and comfortable in that moment, watching
like it doesn't even phaze me. We're inside, I'm just saying,
oh my god, boo boo boo boobs both both I
want to turn and say to everyone, did you see
those boobs?
Speaker 2 (33:26):
Did you know called? I love those boobs? I don't know.
Speaker 1 (33:29):
Those boobs are way better than what I remember Mom's
boobs being.
Speaker 2 (33:35):
This person wants to be anonymous. It's on the Puberty
Chat as well.
Speaker 1 (33:39):
Name them. It's Karen Tiffany.
Speaker 2 (33:42):
No, she want to be anonymous. Okay, my ten year
old has a friend who has a sixteen year old sibling.
My ten year old has a friend who has a
sixteen year old sibling. Okay, so we're talking. Yeah, I
got asked what a gobgob was and did it mean
sucking on a pe n I s after a piece
(34:03):
of my soul died. I just very matter of factly,
see I had not heard it called a gobgob before.
I knew the term gobby for that, and yes, that
is what it means. My kid was grossed out and amused,
So I just said, that's something to be done if
you want to, and only with someone who loves and
(34:25):
respects you, and who you love and respect. Just like Jordan,
I'm the parent who has to explain everything, so I
have been trying to answer all the questions in a calm,
matter of fact way and only answer the questions asked.
We talked about that, just sticking to the questions that
they have and not giving them too much information. As
much as I am sure, I do not want to
(34:47):
know what my kids get up to as teenagers. I
do want them to feel safe and comfortable to ask
all questions and tell me what's happening with them.
Speaker 1 (34:57):
I'm dying inside for you. I'm not a mature, big
grown dad in this moment that freaked me out. Your
ten year old has asked what a gobgob is and
you've had to say this is what it is. Well done.
But gosh, I don't know. I don't think I would
have said it in that moment. I would have come
up with something. Oh I remember, I remember my nine
(35:17):
year old stepsister and younger sister. We're camping and they
come up to the table one evening as we're all
there camping and they go to my dad, dad, what's
an orgy? And Dad's dad's half boozed and goes, that's
when you need a real, real big ship. And I
(35:38):
just lost it for the knicks for the next like
few nights of camping where us older people are saying, oh,
I need to go have a quick orgy. I just
need to go a quick.
Speaker 2 (35:48):
Or did anybody sit the kids straight or.
Speaker 1 (35:51):
They hopefully they know now I'm not sure.
Speaker 2 (35:55):
It's going the playground. They'll be like, oh, guys, I
need to go to the bathroom for an orgy.
Speaker 1 (36:00):
But without skipping a beat, I just remember Dad going,
it's just when you need a big ship.
Speaker 2 (36:04):
And that's the parenting style that your brother and old
a sister got. Yeahah their questions.
Speaker 1 (36:09):
Well, yeah, where I sat down and I remember to
this day, had a full, relaxed, normal yarn with my
mum and I think my stepdad was there as well,
and just I got everything answered and one easy like
after a chicken roast dinner. Yeah, I was just like
h and so like I wake up with a with
a stiffy every morning, Like yeah, that's normal, that's fine,
and all this stuff and okay, cool, Which is the
(36:32):
way you're going to Are you gonna eat that? Can? I?
Can I finish that?
Speaker 2 (36:37):
Speaking of boner, you're going to eat that drumstick? That's
a feedback. I would love if we get bombarded with
messages from people who haven't been able to message us
before now that those settings have been opened. What I
really like for next week's podcast is just answered the
simple question what is the hardest age to parent and why?
Speaker 1 (36:56):
Yeah, I think we've got to. I think we've got
to filter this and put it out to parents that
have can answer it. You can't come through if you've
just got a one year old and a three year old,
parents that are got your teenagers with you, Yes, okay,
Or they've all flown the coop.
Speaker 2 (37:11):
Yeah, miss my message my mum and ask her and
get that.
Speaker 1 (37:15):
Inspect from her. Problem as they've all lost their mum
so they can't remember the purity. What's the age of God?
Speaker 2 (37:23):
Imagine she missed back and she was like thirty seven.
Speaker 1 (37:25):
Yeah, or message back and be like I don't know.
Nineteen year old client who still hadn't moved out, was
the hardest, who wasn't paying any board and was just
gaming downstairs in the basement eating pizza.
Speaker 2 (37:37):
Good catch up every good week, send us some messages.
Speaker 1 (37:40):
See you next week, guys, see as gob God. And
you've got to tell a ten year old, oh fuck,
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