How Chiropractic Medicine Started as a Ghost Religion

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
What's gift in my three and a half foot long machees.
I'm Robert Evans, host of Behind the Bastards, the podcast
where we talked about the worst people in history and
where I received a beautiful, heartwarming gift from my co
host today, Billy Wayne Davis. Hey, everybody. Yeah, now, Billy Wayne,
I got back from Syria not too long ago, and

(00:23):
you surprised me with one of the best presents I've
ever received, which is essentially a small sword. It is
it's like a if they made a baseball bat and
a sword. Yeah, it's an unnecessarily large Fiskers machete that's
got a two handed grip, which I love. I love.
I'm very excited to hit things with us. I can't.

(00:43):
I didn't have, like we've had this discussion. We both
have multiple machete You know, you don't have children or
a wife. No, I have those things. Well that's true
that you know about any wives you know about? Uh,
but I found it on Amazon and I was like,
I don't have a reason to get this, and then

(01:04):
I remembered you went to Syria, and I was like,
you know what, that's noble as hell. Yeah, Well, noble
is not the right way to say. Maybe I just
did it to justify getting another machete. We didn't know
it was coming. I didn't know it was coming. But
that's purely noble like that, you're so humble. You're like,
I just did it to give a machete. You didn't
know I was going to do that. I did not
know it was going to do that. But now that

(01:24):
I have it, the machete feels like a worthwhile prize
for for this work, and I'm excited to find new
things to hit with it. There's so many different things
to do with it. There's it's there were several meetings.
I think it went on designing those fiskers a lot.
I'm interested in the holes in the back, which I
think make it faster. Is that what it is? I
don't know. I suspect they make it faster. The grip

(01:45):
is really I have large hands and I liked that
the grip is the perfect length for both of them.
On there, I'm excited up to Sophie provided me with
a bag of chips to to cut open, which he
threw at me. That was fun when I'm excited, though,
I got this can of fabrieze Billy Wayne Davis Man Sophie.
Sophie just put her head in her hands, covered her eyes,

(02:06):
very exasperated. I'm gonna smells good. Gain smells good, So
I would be improving the room if I if I
have you tossed this at me and hit it with
a machete bat I think Sophie's flipping me off with
let's do that at the end. Yeah, we should do
that at the end of the gift to the podcast.
We can knock it into the poison room. We can

(02:26):
just open the door quickly knocked the fabris can into
the poison room. That way, if it sprays everywhere, it
doesn't render the room uninhabitable. We can lock it with
the poison. It's great. I think that's a plan, all right.
Sophie seems to be on board. I think she's proud
of me. Now. It's hard to tell which of her
size means pride and which doesn't. Daniel's Daniels nodding at
me with pride though he's happy. He thinks I made

(02:48):
a good decision. Yeah. When it showed up, my wife
was like, what why don't we You don't need it,
it's a gift, and she goes, I don't know who
you're hanging out with it and just walked off. This
is one of the most beautiful gifts I've ever seen.
Billy Wayne, thank you. This is my new official podcasting machette.
It's not as rusty as my old one, no, but
it'll get rust on it. Yes, if I'm doing my job,

(03:09):
I'll get some rust on this fucker handle It last
a lot longer than that blaze. Well, we're talking about
the founder of chiropractic medicine today. So the first dude
to be like, hey, honey, come walcome back, I think
the first dude to be like, you're sick, let me
walk on your back. Okay, yes, I got you. Now,

(03:33):
Billy Wayne, what is the first word that comes to
your mind when you hear the term chiropractor. We're on
the script now, I mean scam. We're already in the
right head space for this. So yeah, yeah, I'm gonna
guess for most people it's probably like spine or back
or scam. Uh yeah, um. Some people might say medicine um,

(03:58):
depending on whether or not they believe in in hiropracticum.
I'm going to bet almost nobody's first word is religion. Well,
I mean, okay, I'm already in it. I'm already in
you're putting these two together. Go on, Well, today we're
going to talk about how chiropractic medicine or whatever you
wanna call it, started out as a religion, or, to

(04:20):
be more accurate, a cult. So this is this is
that story. Can I predict dude uses it to get
laid eventually? You know, I assume he did, but that
was not the focus of the cult because usually from
my experience, when a dude starts a cult, yeah, it's sex.
This seems to have been. You know, it's the kind

(04:40):
of guy we always talk about, Billy. This is a
man who wanted very badly to be a doctor, but
who never wanted to actually become a doctor, who just
wanted to like no medicine and just assume that whatever
his gut told him was medicine. That's huh. It's it's
a special type of man who does that is a
special where like, did you could just go to school?
I could just go to school four years and just

(05:03):
be a shitty doctor. Yeah, now no, I will kill
some people. I'm just going to figure it out, learn
as I go. I love it. So this tale starts,
as all such tales do, with a single beautiful grifter.
Daniel David Palmer here to four known as D D. Palmer,

(05:23):
He was born on March five and a now non
existent town near Toronto, Canada. At the time, it was
known to most people as a way out west. Wow. Yeah,
and then it disappeared. Yeah, it's just gone. Now nobody
lives in that place anymore. It's just a field. Yeah,
just like a field. That was town. Yeah, it was

(05:43):
like a little town. And then everyone was like, living
out here is kind of bullshit. Have you been, Tony?
Have you been to Toronto? It's a city now. Everyone left.
It's not just a dead horse in a pond. Yeah,
there's the circus came to town and then the town disappeared. Yeah,
Toronto did start as a dead horse in a pond. Uh.
That checks out. Yeah, that's my name had cannon for Toronto,

(06:04):
so uh. D D. Palmer's family had come over to
Canada from England during his grandfather's time. His father was
a shoemaker, a grocer, a school director and a postmaster.
Because back in the old days there were only about
thirty people in the worldtown. Yeah, everybody had to wear
a lot of hats. Um. Now, d we got one
pair of shoes. Busy one. He's busy being the grocery today,

(06:28):
he's he's running the school tomorrow. He's back on shoe
duty in three days. So he just hopped there. So. D. D.
Palmer was the oldest of six children, three boys and
three girls. From age four until age eleven, he attended
a small rural school while his father tried and failed
in multiple businesses. Um because again he wasn't actually good

(06:50):
at most of the two he was good at shoes,
couldn't do the right shoes. He was too busy figuring
out out of male stuff. Uh so yeah. From age
four until age eleven, D. D. Palmer attended a small
rural school, and by the time he was eleven, the
family's financial situation was bad enough that he had to

(07:10):
start working and so he had to stop going to school.
So his dad made a deal with him. Can I
just yeah, that's like that means like nothing, that means
like you start owing people. You mean, like that's how
bad things were. We're like the oldest has to quit
work and during those times like this is bad, right,
what we're like I owe people. Now, yeah, I owe

(07:32):
people to nothing. You're enough of a man at eleven,
you gotta start bringing in some fucking cash. That's that's haven.
Who Yeah, yeah, that's that's poor. Like putting your eleven
year older work poor. Yeah. Uh. And now d D. Palmer,
even though like he was, his family's super poor and
he had to go to work, he still wanted to learn.
He was a big love loved learning. Uh, And so

(07:54):
he made a deal with his dad. Uh, if he
worked hours before and after the full time jewel that
he had to work to keep the family fed, Uh,
he could keep the money that he made working overtime
and apply that money to buying school clothes and school
books for himself so he could continue to learn. God,
yeah that's hurt. Well, alright, son, forty hours a week,

(08:15):
that's got to go to feeding the family. But if
you work sixty you can buy school books. I mean,
what a weird way to have to go. And like, God,
I'm gonna have to negotiate so I can keep learning. Yeah,
I know people with versions of that story that started
like age eighteen or nineteen. I don't know anybody with
that story starting If I don't know more than this.

(08:39):
I'm gonna have to keep doing this. Yeah, that's pretty
at yourself. I do. I do think there's a little
bit of this in there where he's just like sees
his dad's life and it's like, I don't want to
be a postmaster. I don't want to do that when
I'm I don't want to be working his dead end job.
When I'm fifteen. Your life's over at that point. Three

(09:00):
kids by then, three quarters of your life is over.
Town won't be around then. So Palmer worked beyond full
time for most of his childhood and was able to
slowly afford to finish his education, but age twenty one,
he had the nineteenth century equivalent of an education. Decades later, D. D.
Palmer would write this in his autobiography about his upbringing, quote,

(09:23):
my mother was one of a pair of twins, one
of which died, the one which lived only weighed one
and a half pounds when a baby I was cradled,
but in a piece of him locked bark. My mother
was as full of superstition as an egg is full
of meat. But my father was disposed to reason on
the subjects pertaining to life. It's like, yeah, he opens
his autobiography. There's a lot. There's a lot to unpack there,
mainly the expression as an egg is full of That's

(09:45):
where I was like, I didn't know where to start
or begin, but that's where that the look on my
face was at. I was like, what kind of eggs
are this? Where'd you get those eggs? I imagine this
whole back story for him, where like his dad couldn't
afford eggs, so they were like just eating like road
kill and must grats, And he was lying to his
kids and being like, what's this gross smelling meat? That's
an egg. It's an egg. That's what they would like,

(10:06):
leave the shell, you know, meat eggs, And what was
the doctor talking about? Also, cradling a baby in a
piece of hemlock bark seems like a bad idea, Like
all the things he he just sounds like like a
folks he got got hit on the head, where you like,
don't listen to what he's saying. Just listen to the rhythm.
It's more entertaining. Yeah, And I'll tell you there's some

(10:28):
head injuries in this guy's past. He doesn't write about him,
but I can't imagine having this upbringing and not getting
hit on the head a few times, all of them,
and they're all like everyone we've talked about came from
the middle of nowhere, which I do think there is
something to that where they might be the smartest or
the most ambitious in that area. So everyone just calls
him doctor. Yeah, and they're like, I'm a doctor. It

(10:50):
was easier back then. It's like Granny from the Beverly hillbilities.
I do feel like one of the great untold stories
of history is how many great men of the past
had diagnosed traumatic brain injuries. Like Andrew Jackson. You hear
about sometimes he just beat people half to death. It's like, yeah,
you just shoot people in the streets in Nashville. They're like,
what was that? That was the That was the governor.

(11:11):
He probably had brain damage and an inability to control
his temper, but he made it work for You can
make random violence work for you if you do it,
if it's not as random as people think it is. Yes,
or it's like I've said that too before. Is like
a lot of the most successful people, male or female,

(11:33):
make their mental illness really work for them. Well, that's
the key. That's the key is finding a way to
make your mental illness make you money, which is the
subject of my new health book, Think and Grow Sick.
Read between the Lines mental health book. You get it. Yeah,
just just find a way, just find a way to
make a gel with capitalism. That's all it's about. That's

(11:56):
all it's about. Yeah, that's what that's that's the only
difference between a alcoholic and an alcoholic is one of
them is functional in our economy. Yeah, an alcohol So
all right, back to d D. Palmer. So d D
went by Dan to most of his friends and family,
but we're just going to call him d D. He

(12:16):
grew up big and strong as a quote husky country
boy who was widely liked. He had an inquisitive mind,
but was particularly interested in anatomy. In the rare hours
of free time he got outside of work in school,
Dan would collect the bones of animals, which, okay, yeah,
it's one of those things. I love collecting bones myself,
But I'm not going to pretend it's not a red flag.
It's yeah, it's a red flag, like having a lot

(12:40):
of machetes. Well, yeah, there's yes, it is unnecessary red flag,
but it's let's keep an eye on him. Yeah, yeah,
I mean, my house is full of dead animals and
and machetes. And if that makes people want to keep
an eye on me, that's not a bad from Texas.
That doesn't No bells are ringing for me at that
He's he's got a lot of knives and dead animals

(13:01):
in Austright, Yeah, it is. It does kind of depend
on what region you come from. If I were to
hear somebody from let's say Boston say that, that would
worry me more. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah, where'd you get
that white tail? Okay? So the US Civil War was
disastrous for the Canadian economy, largely because the nation's labor

(13:24):
market became flooded with Americans fleeing the draft. By the
time Daniel was in his early twenties, he and his
brother Thomas were forced to head south to the United
States in order to seek work. They managed to borrow
two dollars from their friends, which at the time was
enough to strike out and start a new life. What
a day that was, Yeah, or that's what they thought. Yeah,
that's what they thought. Well it works out for him. Well,

(13:46):
I don't know about his friend. He might have died
on the fucking ditch somewhere but it works out for
d D. Palmer. So on April third's got four dollars. Uh.
On April third, eighteen sixty five, they walked eighteen not
miles to the town of Whitby in the United States.
Somehow they wound up in Detroit a couple of months later,
after a winding journey that involved sleeping on grain sacks

(14:07):
on a pier and probably hitching lots of rides on trains. Yeah,
we're imagining like a traditional nineteenth century hobo journey here.
So Dan and his brother explored a number of jobs,
but the line of work that dee De found most
appealing was, of course, medicine. Specifically, he became a magnetic healer. Cool. Yeah,
me too, Yeah, he thinks, so Billy, Yes, you feel better, right,

(14:33):
it's the magnets. It's the magnet. Get out here. Magnets
has been a popular medical treatment for all sorts of
ailments for thousands of years, going back to the beginning
of civilization. It's still selling the golfers, They still sell
to everybody. You get a bracelet, Yes, these magnets will
cure your fucking emphysema. Yeah, you got tennis elbow magnets
with copper with you gotta have the copper without the copper.

(14:56):
I've got a new magnetic copper machete, Billy Way, and
I want to start selling it. Cure's youre arthritis? That's
from a new book, Machete Your Way to Better Health?
Did you get arthritis cutting through the jungle? Do I
have a machete for you? You didn't get one of
the arthritis here and machetes not. Keep gesturing with this machete,
by the way, Billy. It is powerful, feels good. It
is how you doing, Sophie, get people's attention. You love

(15:17):
this machete as much as I do. And I hang
it above the door. You have you swung it? Oh
you gotta swing the machete so you can't judge it.
But because here, I'll throw this bottle of water at it,
and you you hit it like a baseball bat. Okay,
Oh wow, you're mad me nervous? Yeah, yeah, it's like, yeah,
you want to get some Actually, I'm gonna throw this
this highlighter pen at you'll feel better to hit. Okay,

(15:41):
we do. I'm gonna overhand it. Oh come on, Sophie,
all right, bad, that's not how you would hit a baseball,
all right, that's gonna make incredible audio for the podcast.
And I'm just gonna keep throwing things in Sophie. She's pacifist.

(16:01):
She can't do is going to make a good powerful
swings that everywhere he goes. And she took it away.
There's throat lozenges all over the floor, sackle losenges, throwing lozenges. Now,

(16:24):
are you still anti? I mean, I like it. It's great.
I don't know if Roberts should have free reign. I
think I'm looking forward to hitting this for breeze can
into the poison room. I'm not gonna lie. I'm gonna
watch it from a safe distance. So uh. Magnets have
been a popular treatment for all kinds of ailments for
thousands of years, going back to the beginning of civilization itself.

(16:45):
People have always been aware that certain minerals have magnetic properties,
and the idea of sticking them on sick people to
alleviate symptoms just sort of came naturally to folks. By
six hundred, the idea that magnets might have some sort
of serious medical benefit had been thoroughly debunked by a
man named William Gilbert. Gilbert published a book De Magnete
in which he carried out comprehensive experiments to test popular

(17:06):
health claims about magnets and proved that they had zero validity.
This is a six D sixteen hundreds. This guy, William
Gilbert's like, let's test to see if everyone's using magnets
for pain. Let's test them. Nope, they don't do anything.
So like five five years ago, yeah, humans are like,
this doesn't stop it. Well we're still like. One smart
human was like, this doesn't stop. It's true. No one

(17:28):
listened to him, and then capitalism is like, hey, don't listen.
It keeps selling magnets. People want to hit their golf
ball longer. Yeah. Proof never convinced anyone to not take
snake away. Yeah, it's like the fact that we knew
five hundred years ago that magnets didn't do shit, had
meant nothing. They can't hurt me, though, so yeah, maybe
they'll cure my arthritis. Have you seen no cool this

(17:49):
bracelet looks? Look it turned my my skins green. Final
one thing about medicine is that the best medicine comes
as a bracelet, and I buy it it Dicks sportings. Look, man,
I had a doctor named Richard wants Dick sporting goods.
Same thing, same thing. Yeah, the the weights gesture because

(18:12):
they're equivalent, because that's a logical stamp. According to the
Skeptical Inquiry, writing on the subject of magnetic healing quote
in the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries, Franz Mesmer dramatically increased
the popularity of magnetic healing with his animal magnetism theory.
Mesmer thought that animal magnetism was a unique force of
nature that flowed like a fluid through living things. He

(18:32):
also thought he could manipulate it through a combination of
hypnotism and laying on of hands. After a high profile
debunking by a commission led by Benjamin Franklin, however, Mesmer's
fame faded and he died poor and forgotten. Turns out
he just into based reality. He's just he's just sucking animals.
I'm gonna go drink bigger and being Franklin. Yeah. But unfortunately,
like other debunkers, people didn't really listen to Ben Franklin either,

(18:55):
because Mesmer has continued to maintain a following even after
his death. Yeah, yeah, people, that's where Mesmerism comes from. Mesmerizing,
that's where that works. Yeah. He was like one of
the big popularizers of hypnotism and ship. He's just charismatic. Yeah,
And one of his big followers was D. D. Palmer. Now,
Palmer was not at all convinced by the debunkings carried

(19:16):
out by men like Franklin. For nine years, he used
magnets to treat, or rather to fail to treat, all
the sundary ailments of his fellow man. As a charismatic guy,
his work attracted attention. He received negative write ups in
local newspapers, like this article in the Davenport Leader. Dr Palmer,
a crank on magnetism, has a crazy notion that he
can cure the sick and crippled by his magnetic hands.

(19:38):
His victims are the weak, willed, ignorant, and superstitious, those
foolish people who have been sick for years and have
become tired of the regular physician and what helped by
a shortcut method. While many of all educated medical profession idle,
the above nave has all he can do. Six years ago,
he commits business in the Ryan Block in three rooms.
He has certainly profited by the ignorance of his victims
for his business has increased so that he now uses
forty two rooms, which are finally furnished. He did by

(20:00):
steam and lighted by forty electric lights. His laundry work
and cooking are done by electricity, and the no on
ones say that his tears are also made by it.
He exerts a wonderful magnetic power over his patients, making
many of them believe that they are will So Palmer
is doing great. Well, even this guy isn't he's not
a great writer because he first of all, he calls
him doctor and then he calls him a crank in

(20:21):
the same sentence. Well you got then he uses he
says he has a magnetic power over the people, just
like you're trying to debunk the magnet thing, but you're
also saying like he does have a power. So dummies
are like, well you said he had a power. I'd
be willing to bet some people did make that mistake.
Since it's the late eighteen hundreds, I'll give him a
little bit of credit on the calling him a doctor thing,

(20:44):
because pretty much everyone's a doctor or a colonel in
the late eighteen Like you can't you can't like it
didn't mean the same thing it does. Now, there weren't
like licensing requirements in a lot of the country, so
I get calling him a doctor like it's one of
those things where and this is the trouble about writing
about medical crank in the late eighteen hundreds, where it's
like it's hard to call someone a fake doctor because

(21:04):
even the real doctors are, like, the problem is not
that he needs magnets. The problems the guy that's got
too much blood and he needs some heroin. He needs
some heroin and less blood. Yeah, you're exactly right. Well
that's how I call all my friends. Reverend Yeah, yeah,
that's yeah, it's pretty easy. I can't wait to get
that reverend doctor course with you, Billy. I'm excited. We're
gonna have an audition tomorrow for the commercial feeds. So

(21:25):
many bleached to so many poor people. I'm thinking that
commercial tomorrow. We're going down there, We're going down So.
Dr Palmer's time using magnets to cure people would later
prove to be critical to his career in inventing chiropractic medicine.
He wrote later in his autobiography quote, during this period,
much of that which was necessary to complete the science
was worked out. I discovered that many diseases were associated

(21:47):
with derangements of the stomach, kidneys, and other organs. One
question was always uppermost in my mind in my search
for the cause of the disease. I desired to know
why one person was ailing and his associate eating at
the same table, working in the same shop, at the
same bench was not Why what difference was there in
the two persons that caused one to have pneumonia, qatara,
typhoid or rheumatism while his partner similarly situated escaped Why

(22:09):
This question had worried thousands for centuries and was answered
in September. Yeah, he found the answer on one day,
on one day. You're curious about what I would write
that down if you got the answer. Yeah, you might
want to take notes on this part here. It's pretty
important important. But what day was it? Actually? Oh, ships,

(22:31):
I guess it's he's not lying. Oh wait, no, no, sorry,
that was the date of something else. It was in
September eight, though he's not lying. He's got the date
down there something. So the story about how he figured
out the cause of all human ailments and gave birth
to chiropractic is the story of what happened on that
September day in so Dr D. D. Palmer was working
late in his office practicing mesmerism and trying to advance

(22:53):
his understanding of channeling the electrical energy of the human
body from magical purposes. And as he was leaving for
the night after long day of this, how do you
know you're done? Yeah? When did you reach the end
of that? Figured as much as I can today? Well,
people are still dying. I ain't figured it out. So
as he was leaving for the night, he ran into

(23:14):
the building's janitor, a man named Harvey Lillard. Now Mr
Lillard was deaf, and once Dan Palmer realized that this
guy was deaf, he decided that it was his duty
to cure Mr. Lillard. But he's he is that guy,
isn't he? How you doing? Oh? You deaf? I'm gonna

(23:35):
fix the that I found you. Now. There are a
couple of versions of this story because it's a lie,
the most because I remember how it happened, because this
never happened. And we're gonna go into the most detailed
version of the story. But first, you know, we're gonna
go into right now, some ads, some products, some products,

(23:59):
and the first product I'd like to plug before we
break for ads is Fiskers brand unnecessarily large machetees. If
you want a machete that's larger than you probably have
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ordered on a Saturday, came out a Sunday. Now people

(24:21):
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(24:42):
door in a day? Not one that's thinking about everybody,
Not one this thing about everybody. It is awesome. I've
changed my mind on a lot of things thanks to
this machete. Here's some products services, We're back. Sophie has

(25:02):
admitted that the machete was fun and that she now
approves of me doing anything and everything with it. No,
that's what I heard, But but enjoy I will. I'm
very much looking forward to seeing what I really like.
The handle is orange, you know, it just has like
its so you don't get shot other hunters. It's very
aesthetically pleasing, and it's like just heavy enough where you

(25:24):
feel powerful, but not too heavy where you feel weighted down. Yeah,
you can swing it a bunch of times without getting tired.
It does kind of look like something you would use
to flip meat. It does look like you could you
could flip with this. Yeah, it's really would work as
a spatula because of the way that the blade is shaped.
But if we're being honest, if you use it as
a whip and ship has went south, yeah, yeah, this

(25:45):
would not be the first choice. You know what wouldn't
be my first choice to do with this. We have
these soundboards on the roof that are secured secure you
can do it, And the one right above Sophie has
a whole bunch of paper towel rolls on it. I
bet if I cut that thing down, I could rain
paper towels on you. Sophie. You have been but man,

(26:08):
that would be fun. That would probably get that would
probably be crossing the line at the office actually cutting
the soundboards off the walls. That would probably be going
too far. Dan Old appreciate it. If I didn't, we
will see what happens, because there's no guarantees. When you've
got a Fiskers machete on the table, it's a gift
that keeps on giving. It's the gift that keeps on
giving until it takes. Let's talk about Dr Palmer, So

(26:37):
we're talking about the day in September eight when he
discovered the solution to all human illnesses and ailments. He
met his building's janitor and realized he was deaf and
decided that he was going to cure him. So I'm
gonna read a version of the story of how he
did this that I found in a September nine issue
of the Herald Journal, a local paper for Spartanburg, South Carolina.

(26:59):
What Yeah, they were covering like the opening of a
chiropractic college. Okay, yeah, which wrote a pretty good synthesis
of the different versions of the story that makes more sense. Yeah. Quote,
the building's janitor, Harvey Lillard, was deaf and Palmer became
curious about the cause. Stories are different on how Palmer
was supposed to have discovered that by adjusting a bump
on Lillard's neck, his deafness was cured. One story is

(27:21):
that Lillard told Palmer he became deaf after bending over
and hearing something crack in his neck, and that Palmer
cured the deafness after pressing the bump on Lillard's neck
for three consecutive days. Lillard's daughter, Miss Valdinia Simmons, tells
that while Palmer was joking with her father one day,
he slapped the man on the back with a book,
causing the first chiropractic adjustment. Palmer's own writings the chiropractics
adjuster give this account quote an examination showed a vertebrae

(27:44):
rack from its normal position, a reason that if the
vertebra was replaced, the man's hearing should be restored. He
talked Lillard into allowing him to replace the vertebrae using
the spinus process as a lever, and soon the man
could hear as before. There was nothing crude about this adjustment,
Palmer wrote, It was specific, so much so that no
hiropractor has equalled it bullshit. Well, so, yeah, those are
the three versions of the story. One is that he

(28:05):
like finds a lump on this guy's neck and like
slowly adjusted for three days until he's not deaf, and
he gets him on the back with a book. Yeah
as a joke. Hey. And another is is that he
gave him a comprehensive examination and then snapped his vertebra
brack in the place and then he was like, oh,
this vertebrate is connected to your hearing bone. Yeah. Yeah.

(28:28):
There's a couple of noteworthy things about this. One is that,
according to Palmer's own writings, the first chiropractic adjustment all
of history was the very best, which is not the
way a science is. I don't think that's um. That
is how they guy invented dynamite the first The first
dynamite was real good dynamite. Same with the first cocaine. Um.

(28:53):
The other is that, if you take Palmer's version of
the story, chiropractic medicine started with a non consensual medical procedure.
Because while Palmer claimed to have had a conversation with
this patient about what he wanted to do, the patient
was deaf, and I don't think D. D. Palmer knew
sign language. I don't even know if there were sign
language round at that point. The eighteen. Was there sign

(29:16):
language in Sophie. I'm sure there's a version. He doesn't
write a damn thing about knowing sign language, so I'm
gonna say either way, invented in Oh shit, alright. So
he also seems like the kind of gather if he
knew how to do something, he'd let you know. Yet
the exact wording is he talked Willard into allowsing him
to like replace the verden broke, which is like you

(29:38):
lay on the ground and get behind you. Yeah. I
don't think informed consent if this was an actual procedure,
I do not think informed consent was a part of it. Well,
it's easy to sneak up on something too that when
they came, especially a deaf man, poppy fucking back, do
whatever you want. Yeah, that's how you that's how you
start a new medical discipline and pushing a deaf man

(30:01):
from behind, you tackle the deaf guy until he can hear.
That's what I did, and that's how I'm We all
remember how Jonah Salt killed polio by abducting those kids. Yeah,
that's part of Jonah Salt's back story. Don't look it up,
don't do not do not look at aricism. So once D. D.
Palmer had stumbled onto this new method of healing, he

(30:22):
began to work backwards, constructing a brand new theory of
how to cure human illness. He started claiming that his
research had let him to discover that every human body
was filled with enough natural healing power to cure any
ailment afflicting it. Any illness or sickness affecting a single organ, limb,
or region of the body then was caused by a
blockage that stopped this healing energy from reaching its proper destination.

(30:45):
Spinal misalignment was the cause of almost all such blockages,
all of them. The rest of it has not I mean,
I think clearly there was an exceptions, like, yeah, if
you're shot or something, that's probably not due to a
spinal misalignment. You just got shot, but cancer, you got
allergies yet, emphysema, you're blind, you're deaf, that's your fucking spine.

(31:08):
Bro Oh yeah that makes sense. Yeah, it's all in
the spine sickness. That is so. In his work with Lillard,
Palmer claimed to have discovered that adjusting the spine properly
could fix any health ailment. Thus was the new medical
Science of Chiropractic Adjustment. Born on September that's the day. Sorry,

(31:32):
it's for a little disordered on this. Over the coming years, D. D.
Palmer began teaching his techniques to students around the country.
He established the Palmer College of Chiropractic in eighteen ninety
seven out of Davenport, Iowa. The school's original name was
Palmer's School and Cure, but that name was later changed
because it sounds like a scam. Yeah yeah, yeah, Hey,
people know your scams a scam. Yeah, you got to

(31:53):
change the name called a fucking college. Yeah soon, hundreds
upon hundreds still haven't figured out that that's this, No,
because this college is still in operation, well in any
of them. Yeah, speaking in which my back's hurting. Yeah,
I got an appointment with my chiropractor. He might here
him deafness too. It's what it is. It's like, it's

(32:16):
just releasing tension. Yes, some of some chiropractors are good
at massage. We'll get into that a little later. We'll
get into the research later. Let's get ahead of ourselves.
He sorry, yeah, yeah, yeah, sorry, yeah, thank you for apologizing.
You're welcome, But really, this machette is all the apology
you ever need to give me. That's so if he
can I hit the fabris. Yet she's saying no, we

(32:38):
should probably wait until the end anyway, because it might
be a really bad idea. What's the scent? The scent
on the fabris is gain. This is a great smell
and detergent. It eliminates tough lingering owners. It might be
good in the poison room. It might clear the poison
out of the poison room, might be a neutral room.
Sophie looks convinced Billy Wayne's jacas their type. I think

(33:01):
that's what we want to do, unlike a poison room.
Soon hundreds upon hundreds of chiropractors were applying their trade
from C to shining C. Now I wanted to provide
everybody with a deep understanding of what kinds of things exactly. D. D.
Palmer was claiming that chiropractic adjustment could do as he
refined his new science. So I found the blog of

(33:23):
a popular chiropractic motivational speaker, Doctor Ward. Now, dr Ward
seems to be a grifter, even within this field of grifters,
Like this is a current guy. Yeah, he's a current guy.
He's a motivational speaker who I think motivates chiropractors. Yeah,
what what need? Yeah, that's a meta grift right there, Baby,
I love that ship I found my mark. Uh yeah,

(33:47):
So he compiled a list of ten things the founder
said about chiropractic medicine. Now, all of these ten things
are direct quotes from various works published by D. D. Palmer.
I'm going to read that whole list now, Billy, Okay,
I'm I'm yeah. Let me know when you got questions.
Quote number one. The basic principle and the principles of
chiropractic which have been developed from it are not new.

(34:08):
They were as old as the vertebra. I am not
the first person to replace subluxated vertebra, for this art
has been practiced for thousands of years. Art art. Yeah.
I I keep calling it a science because I don't
know what else to call it, or like a branch
of medicine. He seems to refer to it more as
an art here, So maybe that's a mistake in my
write up of it. I think modern chiropractors try to

(34:29):
make it seem like a science. Would Yeah, it's it's better, Yeah,
I would. Nobody's like I'm hurting real bad. Take me
to the artist, Yes, exactly, Yeah, where's banks? Yours? Banks?
He could fix this ship. Number two, do not forget
that chiropractors did not treat diseases. They had just causes,
whether acquired, spontaneous or the result of accident. I mean,

(34:52):
yeah that I think that's the root of all diseases,
finding the cause. But it's the same. It's actually the
same justification. If you remember from the bleached drink guy
who was like, oh this won't uh that doesn't cure anything.
It just fixes the causes of the sickness, which is okay,
m m. Yeah. Drugs are delusive. They do not adjust anything.

(35:14):
Which are you're taking the wrong fucking drugs, buddy. I
get adjusted all the damn but the ones I've taken
adjusted some stuff that I don't have to take those
drugs anymore. I was just in Mexico, where if you
learn five or six at the right words, you can
get almost anything out of a drug store, and I
got some shit adjusted. Did it adjust itself back? Oh
not yet? Uh yeah. Pro tip for going to Mexico

(35:42):
learn how to say, uh, my friend's dog is sick.
I need ketamine. Great sentence, and they're like, and they
just smile when you say that. Right, Well, it depends, yeah, yeah,
it depends. Sometimes you gotta go to a couple of
pharmacies all insane. You don't have a dog. The philosophy

(36:04):
of chiropractic is founded upon the knowledge of the manner
in which a vital functions are performed by innate in
health and disease. When controlling intelligence is able to transmit
mental impulses to all parts of the body, free and unobstructed,
we have normal action, which is health. You want to
diagram that fucking said, like, look at that, Look at
it's number four. Look at that fucking sentence to me
and tell me that's not written by a fucking idiot,

(36:27):
and what cannot reread it? The philosophy the philosophy of
chiropractic is founded upon the knowledge of the manner in
which a vital functions are performed by a night In
health and disease, When the controlling intelligence is able to
transmit mental impulses to all parts of the body, free
and unobstructed, we have normal action, which is health. I

(36:50):
think that that's how Trump would just say. I think
that's how he thinks he sounds when he talks. It's
someone with like an open head who's also eloquent. Yeah,
I I love the idea that normal action is health,
which I'm going to I actually just sent a bunch
of emails out to my friends with multiple sclerosis and

(37:10):
like major depressive disorders. Good news. The normal action of
your body as health. So you're healthy. Yeah, you're healthy.
Just you just gotta get your spine adjusted. That's why
that autoimmune disease is fucking with your organs. Yeah, because
you're not at your back, you're not walking. You gotta
pop that ship. Yeah, have you cracked your back? Chiropractors

(37:33):
correct abnormalities of the intellect as well as those of
the body. He was real focused on the idea that
they called them imbeciles, which is like what we call
mentally handicapped, what we used to call I don't know
what the exactly like terms people use now, but like
people who had mental disorders, they just called imbeciles. And
so he wrote a lot about how, oh no, if

(37:53):
your kids an imbecile, you just gotta pop his back.
Like that's the problem with babies when they're not thinking, right,
is you gotta pop their backs. I'm gonna get back
onto that a little. They're going to go back to babies.
Why do they always go to babies? There's if you
if you want to practice medicine with no education or
ability to do so, eventually you're gonna start doing it
to babies because that's where that babies don't Babies can't

(38:17):
tell you if it's not working. Fuck. You can pour
bleach up a baby all day long, and adults eventually
going to be like, you know what, I think I've
had enough fucking bleach yea, And the baby is just
babies are just gonna take that bleach all day long.
You can bleach a baby from here to Kingdom. Come.
It's so messed up, m so messed up to look
at a baby and not want to take care of it. Yea.

(38:38):
It's part of me thinks maybe these people think they're
taking care. Some of them do. Some of them are
just narcissists. There's few ego where I want to say
the baby, and then there's other ones whore like well.
I think more than anything, we hope that they're humans
in there, and it's a little like I I don't
want to judge. I think I don't know. If I
honestly don't know, I DDE. Palmer is a good guy

(39:00):
or a bad guy. I think he's probably a piece
of ship. Um. I think he's probably a scammer. Medicine
was primitive enough in this period where like, you can't
totally blame someone for thinking crazy shit, but the ambition
he has makes him like to keep going the way
he does. Yeah, and it'll get crazier here. But let's

(39:21):
finish our little Many patients imagine that they have tried everything. True,
they have used many remedies, but they have never had
the cause of their infirmity adjusted, which is again, this
is one of the key aspects of chiropractics that like,
if you just get treated for your AIDS, that's not
going to deal with it. You gotta pop them fucking
vertebrate that's the cause or whatever aids in my vertebra. Yeah,

(39:44):
you get your fucking smallpox starts in the vertebra. Man.
Life is but an express the expression of spirit through matter.
To make life manifest requires the union of spirit and body. Wow. Yeah, okay,
so we're into there. We can sell this in out.
This is I mean, you chiropractice and I was gonna say, yes,
that's they're already here. So he's saying it's quite a

(40:10):
fucking chiropractic is founded upon different principles than those of medicine, which, yeah,
I laid the foundation and built there on. Say that again,
of chiropractic, he called it a science. Okay, yeah, there
we go. So, uh, if you're wondering what Palmer meant
when he said that chiropractic was founded on different principles

(40:30):
in medicine, well, for one thing, he meant ghosts. Yeah. Yeah,
it's time for some fucking ghost spill away. Yeah, ghost
to ghost and play. Now I'm already, I'm already. He's
a bad persons. Play that machete. That's machete and the
one wonderful fine sponsors who make this show possible. I'm

(40:51):
gonna hit this out too. In tin with machet, we're
going to go to ads. Here we go, oh products,
we're back in. Sophie and Billy Wayne are just talking
about the fact that, uh, as Sophie noted, this is
the first time we've talked about ghosts in a year

(41:13):
and a half of the show. Be a year and
a half, I think it's been closing in on a
year and a half, and you think that more of
these bastards would believe it goes, Yeah, you think at
least more of them maybe, you know, it's also a
lot of it's kind of the bastards I've selected. Maybe
I just haven't picked as many ghosts based drifters. That's true.
They've got to be there. I think they're probably. I
mean a lot of visions come from ghosts, a lot

(41:34):
of visions. And that's the story we're about to talk about.
Because I didn't see ghosts coming, and I don't ever
see ghosts coming. Well, you do sometimes if you're looking,
if you got the site, if you're but like the
seventy five days, yeah, it's about right. That's in the ball.
But like the putting the spirit with medicine and popping

(41:59):
your back, I do like that theory, which is like, yeah,
I could probably like you said, it's a label ship.
It's like, your energy is a lot. I gotta get
your spirit aligned with your body, bra and your chakras.
Your chakra has got to be straight, bra. Well, it's
like I practice could only in yoga, and not as
much as I used to, But I do like it.
It's a lot of breathing is what it is, and

(42:20):
it's great. Oh, it's very important. Well, and then I've
learned since practicing it. Like a lot of cult leaders
have used it because it it's mind altering. Yes, it is,
because of all the oxygen and stuff. So people think
that these people have powers and they're like, oh, that's
such a funny thing to do. Yeah, whenever somebody makes
you feel something like that, maybe try having that experience

(42:43):
without them around. Yes, test if their magic's first, exactly,
test it, test it. Yeah. It's like if you have
a really good you just meet somebody right for the
first time, and like the first time y'all hang out romantically,
you take m dm A together. Maybe go take ecstasy
with somebody you hate and see help profound that experiences
before you decide that you're actually in love with that person.

(43:04):
Just ye really, just don't take ecstasy with someone until
you've been dating from one six months. Yeah, and you're
in a fight. That's how you have That's how it
was invented. Yeah, was through psychologist psychiatrist. Well, that's that's
that was the first use it took. It was kind

(43:25):
of think it was invented by accident by something. That's
what I means making ship like that's when they started
applying it to ship. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah it was
and it did work for a while. It's great. I
feel great, it's great. You know what you still suck? Now, Man,
I don't like that thing you do. If therapists all
over the country could just prescribe him being made to people,
we wouldn't need fucking chiropractors. I'll tell you that in

(43:46):
diplo would be way more popular, would be huge. Okay,
so um yeah, let's talk about how ghosts helped invent
chiropractic medicine. That's what I thought. That's why I came
here to one ghost, just one, just one ghost. I
don't want I don't want to make it sound silly
by pretending that there's just like a bunch of ghosts

(44:07):
inventing chiropractic. There's a single ghost that invented chiropractic. He's like,
don't maybe he sound like a dick. And it's the
ghost of a dead doctor. Fuck yeah, I mean that
means it's it's it's just that means it's credible. They
just they put it in fifth. A dead doctor wouldn't lie. No,
not a dead doctor that stuck around to pass this
information along. Yeah, he'd been dead more than fifty years. Yes, yeah,

(44:30):
it's a mission. So this doctor dead doctor, doctor Jim
Atkinson apparently came to D. D. Palmer during a seance. Uh.
And that's where he claims he learned most of the
rules of chiropractic medicine. Yeah, I'm gonna read an excerpt
from his autobiography, which was published after his death in
nineteen fourteen. I want to interrupt you real quick. Okay,

(44:51):
if you would have if I was on like one
of these shows where it was like you've never heard
of this story, right, aversion and of how you think
chiropractor was invented? Yeah, and I'm a comedian, so I
would come up with something stupid and outrageous. I would
never would never say ghosts. Never could that pop in

(45:14):
my head. No, this was one of those ones like
I started looking into this and like it was already
pretty baddy, like yeah, and then like fucking ghosts. It's
that's like I can't. It's like it's like with Trump
where you're like, we'll be funny about it. I can't.
I can't be funnier than ghost invented medicine where you
pop your back. Fuck. Yeah, I'm just gonna listen. I'm

(45:38):
just gonna listen. Yeah, I'm gonna I'm gonna read that
from his autobiography, quote the knowledge and philosophy given to
me by Dr Jim Atkinson, who had again been dead
by fifty years, an intelligent spiritual being, together with explanations
of phenomena, principles resolved from causes, affects, powers, laws, and utility,
appeal to my reason. The method by which I obtained
an explanation of certain physical phenomena from an intelligence in

(45:58):
the spiritual world is no an in biblical language as
inspiration and a great measure. The Chiropractor's Adjuster was written
under such spiritual promptings. That's the book that was like
the foundational text of chiropractic appealed to my reason. Yeah,
appealed to my reason by talking to me as a
ghost during a silence my reason. That ghost was pretty

(46:18):
fool as shit. I don't think I've ever heard somebody say, like, yeah,
a ghost told me to do something, But that ghost
was a fucking liar. I mean, it was like, come
back with actual reasons. Ghosts and then I'll listen to you.
I kind of want to see that movie where like
a ghost starts trying to like warn somebody about like
the future, or like just like like starts trying to

(46:41):
lift but he's just dumb as ship. Like, it's just
the ghost of a really dumb person. Nightwears. He's got
a great joke. People gotta drink more bleach. He's like,
if I went back in time, I couldn't warn people
or even explain how future is. Like, well, look at
this phone. They're like, wow, how's it working. It's like ship,

(47:01):
this is pretty cool? All right. It's like I would
just be a guy with cool stuff. I know what
I do. I'd go back to like nineteen ten, and
I'd moved to Europe, and I'd create a cult all
about assassinating Archduke Franz Ferdinand. Oh, because then he'd never die. No,
he would not know, he would not have died, and
then maybe we could have stopped World War One and
that would have prevented World War two. Probably, no, Hitler, Yeah,

(47:24):
you've thought this. That trip to Mexico was worth it.
It was I figured out how to save the world.
I'm just got a crowdfund time machine now, and I
think in order to make that time machine, I'm gonna
need to spend a lot more time researching. In Mexican pharmacy,
I think one of mall in pharmacy you can pick
up hydrocoda on their ghost doctor told me that. Yep. So,

(47:45):
the founder of chiropractic medicine claimed that a great deal
of the discipline was revealed to him by the ghost
of a long dead doctor he contacted during a seance.
That's the quick summary here. Now, the term chiropractic itself
literally means done by hand. Since the whole idea behind
the discipline had come from an all knowing ghost, there
was no research or study. Indeed, Palmer's early chiropractic medicine.
Once he'd identified the cause of all human ailments, the

(48:07):
subluxated bones, there was nothing else to do but teach
people how to pop those bones back into place. Someone
go chiropractically an orgasm that you actually can do. No,
I've done it, I don't know. So I should note
here that subluxation, which is a term that you'll hear
a lot from chiropractice today, is in fact a real thing.

(48:27):
The actual medical meaning of the term is uh. It's
basically term from what a joint in your body has
popped partly out of its socket, and this can damage
tissues around the socket, but it cannot, for example, cause deafness.
But chiropractice to this day claim they can fix and
feel vertebral subluxations by hand, and that these subluxations cause
roughly of the ailments suffered by people, depends on the

(48:51):
chiropractic There's different kinds now, some of which reject a
lot of this um, but like, yeah, that's the initial
idea behind the science, is that like like or so
percent of human ailments are caused by sublixations which you
can just fix by feeling round. I think we would
have figured that out. Yeah, Yeah, it's not that hard.
As chiropractic medicine and its founder aged it shifted and morphed.

(49:12):
This was helped along by D. D. Palmer's son B. J. Palmer,
who got involved in his father's work near the beginning
of the movement. Like his dad, b J had worked
as a mesmerist before getting into back medicine like my
father and am also full of ship. He'd also worked
for the circus. Yeah, he's an accomplished, accomplished it's a

(49:32):
whole family alive did the work. According to Science Based
Medicine quote. He was reported to state, when I saw
there was no use for a sympathetic nervous system, I
threw it out and then just had to put something
better in its place. So I discovered direct mental impulse.
BJ also discovered a non existent duct of Palmer connecting
the spleen to the stomach. In ven b J engineered

(49:55):
a hostile take over his father's school to hiropractic. Yeah.
Different people will say that, like it was more amiable
or that it was more ugly. Some people say he
paid him two thousand dollars. Some people say he's stiffed
him out of all the money. It's kind of unclear
what happened. So usually then that means it's not what.
It wasn't good. It wasn't good. It was very acrimonious.
They didn't they didn't get along. Yeah. B J. Palmer

(50:16):
set the tone that would later dominate the field of chiropractic.
He emphasized salesmanship, advertising, and practice building. He was highly
critical of medicine, stating that m D stands for more death.
He continuously sought new methods for increasing revenues, such as
is neurocalcometer, which would pinpoint subluxations by measuring skin temperature,
and he decreed that must be rented from him by
other practitioners at exorbitant fees. Why is he so against

(50:40):
any actual medicine because it works? You can't keep bringing
people in for the same problem if they're doing stuff
that helps. I I see so. But to me, like
even the scam would be like a smarter scam would
be like you're applying both. Yeah, I think that's what
they do now that that is what they do now
a lot of them. Um. It's also part of the
problem is that, like a real honest doctor, sometimes they're

(51:02):
just gonna tell you you can't do anything. Yeah, you
got this problem and it sucks, and it's always gonna suck.
Like maybe you're some mitigated but there's no cure in it.
Like why am I sore every day night because you're
been alive for forty Yeah, you've been alive too long. Man.
Nobody's supposed to live more. Supposed to have your kid
at nineteen and push him off into the world at two.
I had one at twenty eight and then we just

(51:23):
had one. But I do, I do think you should
to a uh so um. Under B J. Palmer's reign,
chiropractic expanded, growing ever larger and sucking in ever more
ambitious young doctors who felt the jabbing around someone's back
was a hell of a lot easier than going to
actual medical school. You have to remember a lot, You

(51:45):
have to learn a long stuff, blood and ship. They
want you to know it and not just remember it too. Yeah,
they want you to actually know things, not just make up. Yep.
It feels like that's the cancer part of the back
that needs fixing. Pop, you're done. That's what you get.
You just get get good at making that sound. D. D.
Palmer continued to act as a figurehead of the movement,

(52:05):
and his writings remained influential, but b J ran the
show from around nineteen o seven on forward. Now. From
the beginning of the movement, chiropractors called themselves doctors, and
in the eighteen nineties this was not much of an
issue because the difference between doctors and doctors was pretty minimal.
In fact, since many legitimate licensed m d s back
then fed their patients mercury and heroin, cough syrup. Many

(52:26):
people would have been better off in the hands of
a guy who was just going to give them a
back massage. But this state of affairs did not persist.
Along in the early part of the twentieth century, medicine
began to professionalize quickly, spurred on by developments of things
like vaccines and antibiotics. They clearly worked much better than
just pushing on somebody's vertebrae, as you might have expected. D. D.
Palmer railed against many of these developments. He became an

(52:48):
early anti vaccine advocate, writing that quote, it is the
very height of absurdity to strive to protect any person
from smallpox or any other malady by inoculating them with
a filthy animal poison. No one will ever pollute the
blood of any member of my family unless he cares
to walk over my dead body to perform such an operation.
And we had to, yeah, and we had to. Thankfully

(53:08):
the smallpox got him. His son B. J. Added in
nineteen o nine, chira practice have found in every disease
that is supposed to be contagious a cause in the spine,
and the spinal column will find a subluxation that corresponds
to every type of disease. If we had one cases
of smallpox, I can prove to you aware and one
you will find a subluxation, and you will find the
same condition in the other ninety nine. I just want

(53:30):
to return his functions to normal, and you could do
the same with the other ninety nine. Well, I mean
it is this, it's that scam from where there's like
a kernel of truth, where there's like the central nervous
system is throughout the spine, so there's a lot of that.
You can alleviate certain types of pain because the slip
disc and things like that. You could let people feel
better diseased. Ship is not it doesn't go no, No,

(53:53):
smallpox starts in the spine. I'm not even a doctor.
But it's just like knowing it you don't know. I
think it's so important. Yeah, but if you're gonna be
a great grifter, the key is that you just pretend
you know everything you don't know, and you don't listen
to anyone who says otherwise. It seems fun. It does
seem fun, does it seems if you didn't love anyone,

(54:16):
if you were either incapable of that or just like
had got no point in your life where you're like,
fuck it, Like if you ever see me hawk and
brain pills. Yeah, that's what's happened is I've just given
up on my fellow man and have decided to cash in.
And I am proud to announce my new job as
a columnist for the Daily Wire and I will have it.
So if you threw a pin at me ever expanding

(54:38):
church somewhere in the South, oh man selling bleach magnets,
just backrubs in Jesus. Yeah, you gotta say all that
really is the king of all grifts. It well what
you described when it hit me when you said the
son came in and moved out to the father's Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

(54:58):
it's the same thing that happened. And learned how to
produced television in college and then was dad and he
was like, Dad, move, you're too old. I got this
and he's good at it. I'm not gonna I'm not gonna.
Can't fall the guy on his grifting. He's exceptional. He
is my favorit. If you don't know about Joel Alstein,
he's the guy who had tens of thousands of square

(55:19):
foot of immaculate space in the city of Houston when
a huge chunk of that city flooded and many people
were made refugees, and he made none of it open.
They just got a new carpet. They just they had
just gotten. You don't want people on that carpet. And
about people a church, like a big church, we're talking
about the arena where the Houston Rockets used to play. Yeah,

(55:40):
that s where I think Jesus would have done the
same thing. That's yeah. We all remember in the Bible
when he came upon some poor person with dirty feet
and was like, I'm not gonna wash your feet there,
gross as hell, And I got new carpet. I just
thanks is new, Yeah, and I won't have to get

(56:00):
classic Jesus prosperity really hated dirty people from Jesus. Final
one thing about Jesus, it's he did not like refugees.
He's like, it looks like my dad wanted you to
be poor. So the sermon on the mount that fuck
you got mine. So as medicine grew more professional, more

(56:23):
and more states began passing laws that created stricter requirements
for licensure as a medical doctor. B J fought against
these requirements politically wherever he could, but his father picked
a different tactic for protecting chiropracty from government meddling. He
started pushing the claim that, rather than medical science, chiropractic
was a religion and thus utterly immune from any state oversight.

(56:44):
He's not dumb, He's not dumb. No, he's not done.
That's a solid play. God. Yeah, I didn't realize it
had started as a religion, ghost religion. Yeah, it's like, yeah,
I'm not even mad at him. It's damn Yeah. You
gotta respect a guy. You can zig and zag like,
that's mean. He has hurt and he's probably promised. He's

(57:05):
hurting a lot of people. Yeah, and I was going
to say, he's not really just popping their back, but
he's giving people a false hope. That Yeah, that is
damn it an zag zagging the tip of the hat. Yeah.
The earliest evidence we have of the shift towards treating
chiropractic as a religion is a letter that D. D.

(57:26):
Palmer wrote to a colleague, P. W. Johnson in April
of nineteen eleven. I should note before reading this so
it makes sense that D. D. Palmer frequently referred to
himself and his writings as old Dad. So when you
hear Old Dad, he's writing about him. O. L. D.
Weird Old Dad. Well, he's from the north. Okay, okay,

(57:47):
yours of April at hand. It contains an interesting and
financial question, one which I think Old Dad hold the
key of Stop right now and read two sections in
the this enclosed circular on pages two and eight, marked
and see if you cannot grasp the way out that
which I see we are coming to. I want you
to study these two items marked. The same ideas are
in my book, although not put out quite so plain
as found in these two sections. I occupy in chiropractic

(58:09):
a similar position as did Miss Eddie and Christian science.
Miss Eddie claimed to receive her ideas from the other world,
and so do I. She founded there on a religion,
and so may I. I am, all caps the only
one in chiropractic who can do so. Ye. Old Dad
always has something new to give to his followers. I
have much written for another edition when this one is sold.
It is all caps strange to me why every chiropractor

(58:32):
does not want a copy of my book. Now, when
you refirst to miss Eddie, he's talking about Mary Eddie Baker,
the founder of Christian Science, which is another religion that
focuses around spiritual healing and refusal to accept basic medical help.
So Dannie Palmer saying like, I'm just gonna do what
that lady did, and it's like it's really transparent the
way he writes it out too. Like he even says

(58:52):
she claimed to receive her ideas from the other world.
I claim that too. Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna claim that
I have that claimed it as well. Also the idea
that he's going to publish the new edition of the
book making these claims when the last edition of his
book on chiropractics sold out. But smart, Yeah, he's old

(59:13):
dad is of folksy. That's a smart All these dudes
are just brilliant marketers. Yeah. They call him Papa Cairo
sometimes too from Egypt. Ye. So if you like that one.
Um d D would go on to write in this
letter that rather than pushing for laws to specifically established

(59:35):
chiropractic medicine as a legitimate branch of medicine, chiropractors to
just seek exemption from any laws based on the fact
that chiropractic is a religion quote exemption clauses instead of
chiro laws by all means, and let that exemption be
the right to practice our religion. That's all caps. But
we must have a religious head, one who was the founder,
as did Christ Mohammed, Joseph Smith and Miss Eddie Martin

(59:58):
Luther and other who have founded religions. I am the
fountain head. I am the founder of chiropractic and its
science and its art, in its philosophy, and in its
religious phase. Now, if chiropractors desire to claim me as
their head, their leader, the way is clear. My writings
have been gradually steering in that direction until now it
is time to assume that we have the same right
too as Christian scientists. I am the prophet. I am

(01:00:18):
the prophet. I'm like Mohammed, but with popping backs, and
I'm here to save the world. That's his Yeah, that's
really what he's going for. I'm with you, head injuries. Yeah,
I might have a factor. Although he's really pretty cunning
about this. I kind of think that that letter proves
that he actually was seeing this pretty clear headed. Will
that move to be like this is a religion, that's

(01:00:40):
a religion. Medicines turning into a real thing. Now, religion yeah,
where his kids whisper. You know when we always saw
like like he made a scientology pivot like a century,
well not a century, but like seventy years before Scientology did.
But he recognized that real quick, very quickly, that like
this is the future for American grifting. It's just calling
whatever crime you committed religion. So it's fine. Well, I

(01:01:03):
think they've been doing that since the start. Yeah, but
in a different way I think, or not at the level. Yeah,
not not not quite like this. It's the ambition that
sets you apart. Yeah, it's the ambition that sets you apart. Now.
I found this note hosted on Cairo dot org, which
builds itself as a chiropractic research organization. They should key
you went on the fact that modern day chiropractors do

(01:01:25):
not exactly wholeheartedly reject the idea that their discipline, which
is usually just built as another medical specialization, is actually
a religion. In order to make this case authoritatively and
establish a bright future for chiropractic with himself as spine
cracking Jesus did, Palmer began to work on a book
he believed would be his masterpiece, The Chiropractor. He finished
this work but before he could edit and publish it,

(01:01:46):
he died, possibly because his son murdered him with a car.
We don't actually know, yeah, yeah, the truth he remains
heavily debated to this day. What is beyond debating is
that d D and b J had not gotten along
for years. The father never forgave this on for carrying
out a hostile takeover of his chiropractic college. The son
seems to have been a dick and maybe a sociopath
who was disliked by basically everybody. The b J murdered

(01:02:09):
his dad. Side of the story starts with the annual
parade of the Universal Chiropractors Association, held on August. We
know that after the parade, d D. Palmer rapidly sickened
and eventually died. Three different witnesses swore affidavit's that d
D's illness was caused by his son striking him with
a car. Probably knocked his back into lack given cancer.
That would give you cancer. Yeah. One witness wrote this

(01:02:31):
in a court affidavit. I saw Mr b J. Palmer
coming down the street in his automobile, hitting him d
D and continuing to shove him towards the curving. If
it appeared to me that Dr D D. Palmer was
being hit as he was and as hard as he
was by the automobile, he must have been thrown to
the ground and run over. Dr D D. Palmer was
very excited and stated as he started for his house,
I'm going to call up the police and see if
i can have protection, as I am afraid of my life.

(01:02:54):
So that's one of the witnesses saying that he was
hit by a car. But of the three eyewitness account
all are slightly different. Some say he was hitting the back,
some say in the leg. And for what it's worth, R. C. Smith,
the marshal of the parade, offered the most detailed recitation
of events. This recitation does not blame b J for
the murder, and it instead makes it look like D. D. Palmer,
which just a catankerous old asshole who insisted in marching

(01:03:16):
at the head of the parade and probably kind of
walked himself to death. Yeah. Yeah. As I was lining
up the marchers, I noticed Dr D D. Palmer was
attempting to lead the parade and I went up to
him and taking him by the arm, stopped him and
attempted to lead up the streets, saying, this will be
a long walk before we return, and you will be
very tired, and it will be better for you to
go up and get into one of the faculty autos
and riot taking it easy and let us young fellows

(01:03:37):
do the walking, or words of similar import This apparently
pleased him for the moment, but in an instant he
broke loose from me and said, damn the faculty, I'm
going to lead this parade. He became very abusive, and
I let him over to the sidewalk from the center
of the street. In a few minutes, he made another
effort to lead the parade, but I made him desist,
and as I stepped up to the band of musicians
who start the parade, I noticed that Dr B G.
Palmer's car was slipping out of line to the left

(01:03:58):
side of the street. When I again d D Palmer
in the street lead of the procession, and I again
ran up to him and taking him by the shoulders,
started pushing him to the west side of the street
and sidewalk, and as I looked over my shoulder, I
discovered that B. J. Palmer's auto was coasting close to us,
and I gave D. D. Palmer a shove and got
him out of the way of the cars. It slipped by.
It struck me with the fender before b J could stop.
The car did not touch, said D. D. Palmer, nor

(01:04:19):
was it closer than four or five feet from him
at any time while he was on the street. Governor
Morris was in the auto at the time that had happened. Again. D. D.
Palmer hurried to the sidewalk and then entered the Argyle Flats,
and the parade proceeded down Brady Street, and on several
occasions D. D. Palmer attempted to get at the head
of the marchers, but returned to the sidewalk whenever I
hovered in sight, until we arrived at a near Fifth Street,
when he led the parade for about half a block
until I came towards him, and then went on the

(01:04:40):
sidewalk and did not attempt to lead again. At Third
and Brady Streets, D. D. Palmer again went to the
center of the streets and talked to the traffic officer,
who told him to go onto the sidewalk and keep
out of the street. I further swear that I invited
Dr D D. Palmer several times to write in an auto,
but he persistently refused. He seemed too obsessed to get
to the front and lead the marchers. No other place
in the parade would answer his ideas as to his place.
He was very abusive at the time. I escorted him

(01:05:02):
away from the front of the band. I mean it
sounds like, yeah, it checks out. That sounds like his
ego the whole time he was he was just a dick. Yeah,
And it sounds like, no, I'm the best, No, I
have to be in charge of this, yes, which is
like that. It sounds like he was an old man
who overstrained himself marching. And then some of his followers

(01:05:22):
later blamed his son on the murder, although his son
gave enough reason to be like, because he was a
piece of ship and an asshole and clearly hit someone
else with his car that day, So it's not like
there's a good guy. People did get hit by a
car at them. You hear that story, right, I mean,
it sounds like everyone is probably telling the truth on
some level. Yeah, his son was like I did hit him. Yeah.

(01:05:42):
It's like one of those stories when you hear about
like two neo Nazi leaders of an organization, one claiming
that like the other embezzled and the other claiming that
the other embezzled from company funds. And it's like, yeah,
he probably both did believe I believe you both scum.
But you know who's not scumb Billy Wayne Davis. The
advertisers who support this show could be with their dollars

(01:06:06):
is the Koch Brothers. Well yeah, then they suck. Yeah,
they should probably get some spinal adjustments. Maybe. I don't
know if they have it. I think they have a spine.
It's the people they buy, you, don't They definitely have
a spine and whatever will know. I was gonna say,
from what I've read about them, they're they're very in
your face about what they believe. I would I will,

(01:06:29):
I will hit them on a number of things. But
they are not spin more as like an alien not
having an actual spine. Yeah, alien would be a good
not like. No, they're confident in Daniel's looking at us,
wondering when this ad transition is actually going to turn
into add time. Sorry, at some point, Nanial, at some
point it now, what's back my I don't know why

(01:06:59):
I'm opening it that way. We just went out for
break for a minute, and I thought it was the
second episode. We're just coming back from ads. I have
decided what this machette looks like, Billy Wayne Davis? What
is it? If the Orcs and the Lord of the
Rings had won the war and then modernized into a
liberal democracy, this is what all of their swords would

(01:07:19):
look like. Yeah, mass produced the mass produced, nice little
orange grips. They're not trying to be all scary anymore.
Stainless steel because it's easier to keep clean. Fisker sounds
like an Orc word. Still looks kind of cool, yep, yea.
You know, if they had wiped out the Elves, there'd
be a bunch of Orcs in five years who like
all dressed up in cosplateis elves and like you know,

(01:07:40):
like Orc burning Man. They'd have a lot of like
elf religious wear and stuff that like they wouldn't know
they were using it in an offensive way, but they'd mean, well,
just having fun, just fun, just having fun. What I'm
saying is that America is what happens when the Orcs win.
I think that's it, just what happens when anyone wins,
and then they keep winning. Yeah, because of all the

(01:08:01):
all the wedding guns. Yeah, it helps. So b J
was never convicted of killing his father, and the preponderance
of evidence seems to suggest that Deed Palmer's death had
nothing to do with his son. It probably had more
to do with bad salmon and his refusal to accept
basic medical care. I was gonna guess that he probably
didn't take care of himself health wise. Yeah, he ate

(01:08:23):
some food and he got an infection, and then he
refused to take actual doctor's advice on what he should do.
I'll just walk it off. I'll just give him a
back popped. I mean, I'll pop my own back. Where's
your chair? I just need a hard, firm chair, and
I won't fix this. From a paper published by the
Institute of Chiropractic quote Luisa Lad, doctor of chiropractic, who

(01:08:44):
acted as a nurse to d D stated that he
had proper medical attention and had he followed the instructions
of his doctors, he would be alive today. He disobeyed
all directions, paid no attention to what they told him
to do or not to do. That's good that he
died the way he lived. He died the way he lived,
although because his doctor was a chiropractor, it's possible that
their suggestions were as bad as what he would have

(01:09:05):
done anyway, Oh for sure. But this was a real
blind leading the blind sort of situation, literally and ironic,
and he tried to save the blind. If they'd actually
been blind, he could just be good with back of
the work and just can you I mean, that is
your fight when you're just teaching poor medicine and then
you are in the hands of the people you talked. Yeah,

(01:09:28):
you think it's kind of perfect because, like, like when
you said earlier, like there is like a a sign
that he was self aware of his ship a little bit.
So do you think when he's at the end, he's
just like, talk them real medicine, son of it. This
is really if I could admit what I've done, this
is a really funny thing. But yeah, I do hope
he enjoyed the cosmic irony that situation he's got like

(01:09:52):
fucking a col I or some ship like salmon ell
I think is what I got written down is but
he's like shifting himself to death in a bed and
if everyone's talking about which Verdi read of pop like
he's like, fuck, I did this. I did this. You
know what? This one's on me. I believe I'm I'm
okay with this. I did this. I died what doing
what I loved, teaching people how not to be healthy.

(01:10:13):
Just the same emotion you have when you you drink
yourself into the worst hangover you had. You just wake
up and you're well, this is on me. It feels
like I made this happen. No one, there's no guns
last night. This was on me. Yeah. D. D. Palmer
died on October twenty, nineteen thirteen. The next year, nineteen fourteen,

(01:10:34):
his Manifesto was published. In it, he laid out his
theory of innate intelligence. Did he call it a manifesto? No,
he called it the Chiropractor. It WO had been too.
It was essentially a manifesto. You nailed it. I was
just curious if he knew. No. Innate is embodied as
a personified part of universal intelligence, therefore co eternal with
the all creative force. This indwelling portion of the eternal

(01:10:56):
is in our care for improvement. The intellectual expansion of
the innate is proportion to the normal transmission of impulses
over the nervous system. For this reason, the body function
should be kept in the condition of tone. Communication with
the eternal spirit, the Creator is the goal of all
religions cover some ground. God damn man, that's that's some
impressive bullshitting on a level where lawyers are like, yeah,

(01:11:21):
this is part of his effort to reclassify chiropractic as
a religion. So that's what he starts claiming, is that,
like he starts with being like, no, there's just healing
power built unto your body, and like you're back, being
fucked up stops it from getting to the right places.
And now he's saying like this healing power is like
part of the innate intelligence that like you need to
like free up to flow around your body and fix it.
This innate intelligent intelligence. But it's not that's part intelligence. God,

(01:11:44):
it's not intelligent enough to pop your spine back into place.
It needs some help, It needs some help. It's it's
hindered intelligence. I think I'm understanding his theories right, but
their nonsense. So that's what I was gonna say. There's
no way to you can try to understand what he means.
Daniel fell asleep. I'm casually rest of my eye as well.

(01:12:06):
You guys are having this conversation, you heard him store right,
So absolutely did. Absolutely it's because of his third vertebrate
punches punches back, and his narcolypsy. Just for that, Daniel.
The next one we do is going to be about
Holocaust doctors fall asleep on that. So yeah, he wrote

(01:12:29):
a bunch of crazy stuff about universal intelligence and innate intelligence.
I'll just read one other quote from the manifesto so
you can get kind of an idea of like what
it's like to read this thing. Let's say, where is this?
I'm gonna this is all one sentence, and of course
it is. I believe that this intelligence is segmented into
as many parts as there are individual expressions of life.

(01:12:51):
Semi colon that spirit, whether considered as a whole or individually,
is advancing upwards and onward towards perfection. Semi colon that
in all animated nature, this intelligence capitalized the eye, and
intelligence is expressed through the nervous system, which is the
means of communication to and from individualized spirit. Semi colon
that the condition known as tone is the tension of
in firmness. The renitzy, what the hell? The renitacy and

(01:13:15):
elasticity of tissue in a state of health normal existence.
That semi colon that the mental and physical condition known
as disease is a disordered state because of an unusual
amount of tension above or below that of tone. Semi
colon that normal and abnormal amounts of strain or laxity
are due to the position of the osseous framework, the neuroskeleton,
which not only serves as a protector to the nervous system,

(01:13:36):
but also as a regulator of tension. Semi colon that
universal intelligence, the spirit as a whole or in its
segmented parts, is eternal in its existence. Semi colon that
physiological disintegration and somatic death or changes of the material only.
Semi colon that the present and future makeup of individualized
spirits to depend upon the cumulative mental function, which, like
all other functions, is modified by the structural condition of

(01:13:59):
the impulse transmitting nervous system. Semi colon that criminality is
but the result of abnormal nervous tension. Semi colon that
our individualized, segmented spiritual entities carry with them into the
future spiritual state. That that which has been mentally accumulated
during our physical existence semi colon it spiritual existence like
the physical is progressive. Semi colon. That a correct understanding

(01:14:21):
of these principles and the practice of them can constitute
the religion of chiropractic semi colon. That the existence and
personal identity of individualized intelligence is continue after the change
known as death, semi colon, That life in this world
and the next is continuous one of eternal progression. Period. Wow,
that's that is the most semi colons I think I
run into what he's done is he has That is

(01:14:43):
how you transcribe someone someone's speech that's on cocaine. Yeah,
it does sound like he's on blow right, And well,
the semi colon is that, like, you know, I'm not
done talking yet. I'm not done talking. Like he's got
the main thought and then like forty sub thoughts and
like he has to address each of the sub thoughts,
but like by the time he does, it's so disconnected

(01:15:04):
by the main thought that you can't figure out what then.
And then instead of letting other people talk, he's just
saying semicolon semicolons and putting his hand up. Yeah, oh man,
because like while you're reading, because there's also a rhythm
to what he's the way he's written it, which is interesting.
I just noticed, Billy Wayne this this is groundbreaking. If
you think about how a semi colon looks, it kind

(01:15:25):
of looks like a nose because you've got the two holes.
But then there's that line of cocaine trailing out on
one of the nostrils. That's what the semi colon means.
It's subconscious, No, it is. Yeah, you're exactly just taking
a sentence to go and then and then. That is
exactly what it is. I'm not not talking. I'm not
not talking. After his dad's death, b J. Palmer continued

(01:15:47):
to develop this theory of innate intelligence. I'm going to
quote now from a Huffington's Post article on the Man.
According to be J. Palmer, chiropractic has no use for
a quote deity to which we can direct instructions of
how to run the universe, or a soul, to say,
from oven or from Hell. Asking do chiropractors prey in
a book by that title, b J answered that no
chiropractor would prey on his knees or in supplication to

(01:16:08):
some invisible power, because innate intelligence within man is the
all wise omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent Director General who asserts that
the only possible cause and cure are within man. See
it is that thing of like I believe on some
on some level of what he's saying, where you know,
we're all in control of our decisions and we and

(01:16:30):
the cause and solution of all human problems are held
within the human brain. Not in the way to which
like you can just push someone's spine back in, but
like you can ever, we could solve every illness if
like people directed their intelligence long enough and unconsciously, you
get to solve the energy problems, political problems that people
just like got their ship together funk out. And maybe

(01:16:51):
that's a religious belief in a way kind of in
the same way that Star Trek the Next Generation is
a religious belief. It is. Yeah, but where he got
where he loses me and they all lose me is
like the general you're your own general, where it's like
they immediately start pitching, yeah, her selling, where you're just
like no, you can be like, hey, it's like the
whole point of the Book of Judas, you know, they

(01:17:15):
left that out because it was like supposedly it was
just so much about this. What Jesus was about was
just being like, no, no, you're your own God. You're
in control of who you are. No one else can
control you. That's like, and this sygnostic ship you're popping
out now. I mean, I don't know if I believe
it or what, but if I've always found that theory
of what that book is fascinating because they kept it

(01:17:35):
out because it's teaching people to control their own thoughts
and not listen be under control, So they wanted that
shift fun out of there. That makes sense. So that
sounds like, yeah, there's a little bit of that in here,
And I like, obviously he's not the only one preaching
stuff like this. Like the nineteen twenties, there's a bunch
of kind of esoteric religious traditions going around, some of
which would turn into Nazis, some of which turned into

(01:17:58):
run Hubbard like a lot of a lot of Yeah,
the rest just wound up in hot yoga. Now, despite
all the work done by b J and his dad,
the government did not buy the line that being a
religion meant chiropractors got to call themselves doctors and practice
as if they were M. D. S Throughout the first
half of the twentieth century, more and more states instituted
licensure requirements for chiropractors. Many of them were quite fair,

(01:18:20):
simply requiring that chiropractors passed the same basic medical science
boards as medical doctors, which seems fair to me. You know,
you're saying your doctors, all right, Well, you just gotta
pass the same test. You know as much about the
body as a doctor. You get very fair. That's how
it worked for a while. Between nine and nineteen fifty eight,
six percent of medical students successfully passed these basic board exams.

(01:18:42):
Only of chiropractors could m m m m m. This
created a massive problem for the discipline. They need to
unlock that in night intelligence. Yeah, exactly, you didn't pobbly
spine enough for you would have passed that goddamn board test. Idiots. Now,
this created a massive problem for chiropractic because it led
to hundreds of un licensed chiropractors fleeing to states without
licensure requirements, and the vast number of non doctor chiropractors

(01:19:05):
practicing ghost written religious back medicine caused some people to
question whether or not chiropractic was even legitimate imagine. The
solution that eventually evolved was the Doctor of Chiropractic degree
for d C. Now, this is not an actual medical
degree or even an actual doctorate. Instead, it's a four
year degree which you can get it at chiropractic college.

(01:19:26):
It doesn't even require a bachelor's degree first. The Palmer
College of Chiropractic in Iowa, which is the school that
doctor d. D. Palmer established, will give you a d
C for the low low price of thirty four thousand
dollars a year. They accept a hundred of applicants, like
every legitimate medical school. Thirty four grand. Hey, man, duke's
gonna cost that much. Yeah, and you don't get to

(01:19:47):
call yourself a doctor after four years a duke. But
it's not as hard as I was, like, well, what
is the point? You know what percentage of the applicants
duke accepts? Not not literally anyone with a pocketbook. No,
that I do not. Wow. Now it's only fair that
I note that modern day chiropractors are very much mixed

(01:20:10):
up about the ghostly origins of their trade. I found
an article in the Journal of the Canadian Chiropractic Association
by doctor of chiropractic Lawn Morgan discussing the problems the
concept of innate intelligence causes for the field, Lawn writes, quote, today,
innate intelligence remains an untestable enigma that isolates chiropractic and
impedes its acceptance as a legitimate health science. The concept

(01:20:32):
of anate is derived directly from the occult practices of
another era. It carries a high penalty and divisiveness and
lack of logical coherence. So it would be unfair for
me to state to pretend like a lot of chiropractors
aren't like, we gotta stop with the magic. Yeah, that's
not gonna work. In twenty nineteen, however, a profession wide
survey conducted in two thousand three called how Chiropractors Think

(01:20:55):
in Practice showed that the majority of chiropractors still believe
more or less Indeed, E Palmer's you of innate intelligence
and of subluxations is the cause of much human disease.
There is a subset and a growing subset of chiropractors
who argued that they should just stick to treating back
and spine problems. Yes, now, this is certainly more defensible
than using chiropractic treatments to say, cure deafness. But even

(01:21:19):
that is kind of dumb, because there's another two thousand
three study published in the Annals of Internal Medicine that
evaluated studies from two thousand three on the efficacy of
different treatments for back pain. They found that simple massage
offered considerably more therapeutic benefits than the spinal manipulations favored
by chiropractors. So even for back pain, it's not that great.

(01:21:39):
I played baseball for a couple of years at junior
college and we had a trainer and the two years
we had a different coach when I got there, but
they're the guys the year ahead of us. They had
a chiropract and they all love the chiropractor. And our
trainer was like, you, guys, he just makes you feel
good for like ten or fifteen minutes. He's like, he
never fixed any of you. Yeah, And it was just

(01:22:00):
this constant battle between these nineteen year old dudes. You're like, no,
he's better, he's a doctor, and they're just like, I'm eighteen.
I'm gonna go with the guy that's been to school,
you guys, And they're like, no, man, you don't know
that chiropractor was great. Hey man, he's a four year doctor,
just like Jesus, you guys. Almost as fast away of
becoming a doctor is going to doctor reference school in

(01:22:21):
Jamaica and porn bleach at people's butts or where was it.
It's prettier there. Haiti is Haiti yeah Haiti? Now uh
he gets worse. See Indeed, Palmer's Opus the chiropractor he
wrote several times about how supplexations and infants and small
children were often the cause of lifelong health health problems
and what he called imbecility. This has led many chiropractors

(01:22:43):
to believe that children should be treated with spinal manipulation.
Now I found a great science based medicine article that
highlights how badly this can go. The title of the
article kind of says most of it. Chiropractical manipulation of
the neck linked to stroke in six year old child.
Fuck yeah, yeah. Now I'm not a medical doctor, Billy Wayne,
but I don't think six year old's normally stroke out.

(01:23:06):
Sixty year olds. Now we're getting to be expected, but
not six. Now. This case started with a young boy
presenting with symptoms of a sinus infection. Instead of driving
him to a real doctor. His grandfather took him to
a chiropractor who fucked up his back so badly that
it cost an embolism and a stroke in the six
year old child, and chiropractors routinely work on even younger children.

(01:23:28):
In a few seconds googling, I found a video of
doctor of chiropractic Joshua Peter Smith of Peter Smith Family
Chiropractic in Missouri. In the video, he adjust the spine
of a twelve week old child. Now we're gonna, we're gonna,
we're gonna watch this bad mama jam. I'm not sure
how much of it will watch, Billy, but you gotta
see this guy listening. You'll have to hear this kid.

(01:23:49):
So if you want to describe what you're watching in
the video up until the kids starts, megan the noises
the kid's gonna make. I think that will make for
a solid podcasting experience. No, I'm not ready. He's got
a little baby twelve weeks old as an again, it's
his is it his baby? Holding it up by one leg,

(01:24:12):
upside down and just sort of bouncing the baby upside
down being held by a single leg. Now he's holding
it by two legs. Now he's holding it by wanted
this since it doesn't just hold it upside down. He's
trying to figure out where it has to be adjusted.
And now he's manipulating the baby's spine. So a little
Naomi here is a little over eleven weeks old, and

(01:24:34):
her spine is no different than anyone else's. So if
her the tab bone of her neck is actually slid
to the left, how I adjust her is a little
different than anyone else. But the doctor, in grand scheme
of things, I'm doing the exact same thing all who
was pushing that bone right back to the middle, letting
the body do whatever it needs to do, put it
exactly where it needs to be. So it's a little
it's a lot less forceful. It's very very gentle with her,

(01:24:58):
and you're gonna hear how gentle. It isn't a seen
all this collogue issues go away, So where colleague is
gonna go away? Don't do it. He's stupid. Fuck, it's
just baby's thrashing. I don't stop. Yeah, it's probably enough.

(01:25:31):
So it's pretty obvious to me, not being a doctor
of chira practy, but being a person who's watched babies
before that what he's doing to that baby isn't good. Well, no,
I have a six month old. Like their body is
constantly forming and evolving every single day. So to go

(01:25:52):
in there and be like, oh, this vertebrates a little loft,
that's why he's colocky, Like, that's not how that works.
Also to say that an eleven and a half week
old baby's spy and it's the same as an adults,
Like they don't have all their bones yet. I don't
know when they get all their bones or wouldn't they
come in, but I know they don't get their bones
top of their skull. Yeah, it's an infant fuck just

(01:26:12):
like I mean, I think it's the dad and may
watching that video is like like the get your hands
off that baby really Like there was like a violent
part of me that was like alarming where it's like
stop doing what you're doing or I'm gonna have to
kick you. Yeah yeah, like because he's down on the
ground at one point, like I'm gonna kick you till
you let at that baby that I don't want to do.
It's not okay, God, not okay. Now. The article that

(01:26:38):
initially inspired this episode was a piece I found in
a website it quite like called the Outline, titled chibropractors
are Bullshit, It discusses a Charlatan named josh As and
I'm gonna quote from that piece now. On his Facebook page,
acts a self described board certified doctor of natural Medicine
who earned his doctor and chiropractic from good old Palmer

(01:26:58):
College of Chiropractice. As you which sunscreens are safe and
dispenses snack suggestions. Need a sweet snack that won't unravel
your health goals? We have you covered, he writes, linking
to a dark chocolate almond butter recipe that contains, by
my estimate, more than nine calories depending on how much
coconut sugar. The posts on access page run the gamut
from minor bullshit like healthy recipes, to major bullshit like

(01:27:20):
the pernicious claims that you can reverse cavities. You can't
and watch this guy giving mental advice, and that you
can treat some painful and potentially dangerous bacterial infections like
U t E s and staff with essential oils and
anti viral herbs. Again, not so much. He also writes
that living a life of purpose can lower dementia risk.
Wouldn't that be nice? Well, it might not concern you
that a physician with nearly two million followers on Facebook

(01:27:42):
is spending his time posting recipes for face wash. It
should pique your curiosity. These telling people he's never met
they should purchase his products to support any number of conditions,
from leaky gut syndrome not real to aging his bone
broth collagen formula now available in chocolate will set you
back thirty seven dollars. That's a funny word. Support. It's
legal speak for this product is bullshit. Beyond his line

(01:28:02):
of snake whils, it should absolutely scare you that Acts
has written articles espousing his anti vaccine views while speaking
glowingly of anti vax queen Jenny McCarthy's pediatrician. Oh everything
you said, Yeah, it's real bad, right, It's it's like
you like, there's so many I can't even it's just
levels of bullshit. I I try to picture what they

(01:28:25):
do every day when they wake up, you know, like
you and I knew what we're gonna do today. Yeah,
we're gonna talk about chiropractic. And I didn't know it
was gonna be swinging around and that that has been
a welcome surprise. I knew that was gonna happen, but
we knew what we're gonna be. There's like substance to
what we're doing. Yeah, there's is like, how can I
come up with more horseship? More horseship for money? But

(01:28:47):
where does it? Because they've made so much theoretically, theoretically,
where does it? It's not about money, and that that
dr Ax guy seems like a grifter to me. I
don't know this Dr Peter Smith, the guy who's adjusting
the baby. You look at his face in there, like,
is he just a fucking sociopath or is he someone
who really thinks he's a doctor? Well, I think it's
it's the same, like because it's based in religion. Yeah, religious,

(01:29:11):
it's susceptible to people who think that everything they do
is for the Lord and for this, you know, it's
the same Westboro for innate intelligence. Those people think they're
doing everything for the right reasons, like the God hates
fags people. Yeah, how the human brain is fascinated. It's
a playground, Yeah, just the playground. Now. That Outline article

(01:29:34):
also covers the sad story if Playboy model Katie May
in two thousand eighteen, she died of a stroke after
visiting her chiropractor. A two thousand seven study established, yeah,
well that's actually that would have been a lot healthier. Yeah, yeah,
because two seven study established a strong link between chiropractic
manipulation and the risk of strokes caused by what's called

(01:29:56):
vertebral artery, the section which would happen to that little
kid like pop someone's back forcefully enough that it severs
an artery, then they stroke out. Now, it's hard to
say what the annual death told you to chiropractic medicine
actually is. I found a two thousand ten study in
the National Institutes of Health studying all the deaths they
could find that immediately followed spinal manipulation by a chiropractor.

(01:30:17):
The abstract notes under results twenty six fatalities were published
in the medical literature, and many more might have remained unpublished.
The alleged pathology usually was a vascular accident involving the
dissection of a vertebral artery, which is again the most
common fatal side effect of chiropractic The article's conclusion states,
numerous deaths have occurred after chiropractic manipulations the risks of

(01:30:38):
this treatment by far outweigh its benefit. Are there any
good reasons to do? It? Makes me feel good? I
mean I got to there's a tie lady that walks
one in its frog hair. Yeah, now, I think a
lot of it is that a lot of the chiropractors,
it's the same problem you have. Like a lot of
the anti VAXX doctors were like, they're the most charismatic doctors.

(01:31:00):
Like that guy who was popping that baby's back, good
looking young guy. I'm sure he has an incredible bedside
manner and he has a deep voice in the cadence
he's spoken. That was the first thing I noticed was
this very confident I know what I'm talkingfident calm hand
is what you're gonna do. I'm a cool dude. A
lot of real doctors because they're actually practicing medicine, they're
very busy, they're very stressed out, they don't sleep enough.

(01:31:23):
A lot of them have substance abuse problems because they
have very stressful, difficult jobs. They can be less than
friendly because say they're working at an e er or
something like that, they're dealing with too much of a
workload because there aren't enough real doctors and the insurance
on top of that insurance filing stuff with the government,
whereas this guy is just a liar, so he gets
to be calm all the time. So you're real doctors,

(01:31:44):
like you got one of two things. You gotta do
this test at this test, I gotta go on to
do something like this, like go take this and get
this next test, and I'll tell you what we need
to do do next. And he's like, it's scary because
you're already sick and he's not really taking the time
to help you because he's got other ship to do.
And this guy sits down with you and he talks
with you and he explains how no, I can fix
your baby's colic, just let me pop it spine, and

(01:32:04):
you're like, cool, yeah, it sounds great. Yeah, you called
me down and you wear a nice turtleneckcuts. It's like
when I got my weed card when I first move
to the l A, the guy had a wrinkled lap cut.
That does not evoke confidence from a medical professional. It's
the only time I've ever seen it. I can't make it.
It's just more funny. Conversation was like, huh, I've never

(01:32:29):
seen that before the best thing about the old way
we'd used to work in Los Angeles is that it
was clearly like a retirement program for doctors who either
were on the edge of getting disbarred from like killing
somebody on the operating table, or were just too old
to work anymore. I had both of them. I had
a younger dude where I was like, what did you
don't you got a baby? And then there's the old

(01:32:54):
guy with like he's just like barely awake, like I
had one doctor were like he had a picture on
the wall where he couldn't even focus long enough for
the picture. He looked like he was falling asleep for it.
And then his assistant tried to skype us in to
talk with him, and he didn't pick up skype twice
and she just sports sick. So I got my wheat card. Beautiful.

(01:33:17):
I miss it, Billy. It is so much easier, man,
I got one. I lived in Seattle, Washington, had a
Seattle I d I was just down here doing sets,
meeting with some people. Walked with my friend who had
lived down here for two years. We were on venice
and I was like, I'm gonna try to go get
a wheat card. In this place, you could see the
ocean from the doctor's office, and the guy and the

(01:33:42):
lady she started. She was being kind of shitty to
me at first because I had some out of state
I d and she was like, what are you here for?
And I was like, Oh, I'm a stand up comedian.
She was oh, I just started doing open mic and
then just started checking stuff without even looking. When she
figured out I could help her, I told her where
to go to do some comedy stuff and walked out.
My friend was like, what the hell here for two years?

(01:34:03):
I was like, I've been here for a day, dude,
Let's go get some weight. One of the first guys
I met in l A is a friend of a
friend and he was in the Marines and he got
shot in the leg, and he like legitimately was using
pot at the time in part to like deal with pain.
And he had his medical examination with the doctor and
the doctor just looped him in with another patient who
happened to be in the room at the time, who
was just like, I don't know anxiety, Yes, it's like

(01:34:26):
you're both the same. To me. Let's gunshot wounded anxiety
as much body as you can garry the overscribe it
to your boat. The old man I went to, like
you were talking about who was just it was pure retirement.
I was like, I just want to be like, how
much are they paying you to do this? Oh? They're
making they made bank. He had a poster on the
wall that had all the ailments, so he was like
he and he was so lazy, just like which one is?

(01:34:48):
He just pointed out pick on the window? What your
problem is? Man? America is pretty fun. And that's the
kind of quack medicine I like where you just pay
fifty dollars to have a doct to say, literally any problem.
The prescription is however much pot you can pay for us.
That's it great. Not let's pop a twelve year old

(01:35:10):
spine or twelve week old spine. Ah well, Billy, that
was fun. The episode's over. You know what that means.
We're gonna pop that for brief. I'm gonna hit this
for breeze. Now, Billy, I'm gonna want you to I'm
gonna want you to open the poison room and then
I'm gonna want you to duck to the side as
quick as you can sow. Now, Sophia is there an
outside wall? Or is this gonna go sailing into the
parking lots? Up? You're fantastic. Okay, this is officially safe.

(01:35:35):
Sophie approves, give me, I don't approve hell Fell that
time ship. I'm I'm gonna throw it horizontally. Does that
make sense? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. Oh or it's
hard to do that. It's hard to do that, I think,
because what we're doing you really have to serve it

(01:35:57):
up yourself a nice love and slash. This one's gonna charm.
Oh got it? Yeah? Kick it in there, kick it
in there, billy. I do think that I would be
fun with it. Basically in Time's letting me have explosives. Understand.

(01:36:20):
I feel like that worked out well. I thought it
worked out better than chiropractical medicine does. Still going, I
should try to start selling machette medicine, machete machette your
way to health. What's sad is that any of these
griffs you and I would try, we would be way
more successful than any of our other endeavors in our lives. Absolutely,

(01:36:43):
like what happened? How did you get successful? So we
just started lying, here we go, Here we go? I
figured out. I figured out my my manifesto for Machettison. Now,
we've all seen two thousand one of Space Odyssey, the
documentary film that shows us how human tool you started.
Watch from that movie there was some monkey picks up
a large bone and start swinging it. Human beings evolved

(01:37:04):
to swing large heavy things with one arm. The problem
with modern society you never have a large heavy thing
in your arm. The answer to that the machete. If
you're always carrying a machete, Billy Waite, and always swinging it,
then you're vertebrate align properly, which clears the wound chakras
out and removes the sickness subluxations from inside your gallbladder.

(01:37:28):
The germ spirits, the germ spirits. The machete scares away
the germ spirits by balancing your body. So for just
four cents, you can receive an official Macheteison, licensed medical machete.
It is a lot, but we need you to be serious.
We need you to be serious, We need you to

(01:37:49):
take its investment. It's investment in your health. And you
know what, Billy, I'm in a good mood today. So
along with that machete. For four I'm going to throw
in a book, Hack Your Way to Better Health for
how much? For free free. That's just coming on there
for free. So we get the machety, you get the machete,
and then we get a book. This Hack your Way

(01:38:09):
to Better Health tails us how to use the ship.
You've heard about body hacking. This is just straight up
machete hacking. And it'll cure your cancer. Oh it's like botox,
so it'll support your cancer treatment, support it, support it.
I like support supporting. Just that feels better than treat
is support. Support a lot to feel supported. We all

(01:38:31):
like to feel some brawl for your cancer. Let this
machete be a brawl for your cancer. We do have
them available in Spanish and they are called machette. They are,
and we have them available for infants. Yes, for an
extra you can get our special babies machete, which is
the same as our adult machete, but pink just like Well,

(01:38:55):
I think we've sold. I think we've got people trying
to find the wedding. That's why you're upset with this,
because we're doing a pretty good job to say. You know,
I'm going to get yacht money and leave this podcast behind.
I'm just disappointed. I just want to turn the channel.
We're on three channels right now. Yeah, so Billy want
to plug your plugable. The President just made me the
director of Health and Human Services. I mean, that's not

(01:39:17):
even funny a cabinet position. I feel like I could
at this point. I mean, since I've been holding this
machete virtually the whole epistent that to him, you might
be the he might be the Secretary of Defense Orange,
I see something I like, Billy, Wayne, I just I'm

(01:39:39):
about to I'm working on putting together a tour for
the fall in the winter, so BWD tour dot com.
And I worked on the new season with Squidbillies, which
is on Adult Swim right now. So check that out.
That's such a perfect show for you to be working on.
It was a dream. Did not feel like work? Yeah yeah,
well I did not work on the new season of
squid Billies. I did one have an altercation with a squid,

(01:40:02):
but that's a tale for another day. The website for
this podcast, the sources for all of this episode are
on behind the Bastards dot com. You can find us
on Twitter and Instagram at at bastards pod. Uh you
can buy T shirts at T Public Behind the Bastards,
and of course you can machette your way to better
health by going to www. Klondike five four five eight,

(01:40:24):
Machettison today and again Michettison, as of course, smelled like
it sounds

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}How Chiropractic Medicine Started as a Ghost Religion