Part One: Hitler's Sex Life: The Whole Sad Story

In episode 49, Robert is joined by Brandie Posey to discus Hitler's sex life!

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
M introduction. I'm Robert Evans. This is Behind the Bastards,
the podcast we tell you everything you don't know about
the very worst people in all of history. With me
today is Brandy Posey. Hello. Are you doing Brandy? I'm
doing pretty great. I'm excited to get into this. Brandy.
You are a stand up comedian. Uh get any pluggable

(00:20):
to to to kick off at the start here? Uh? Yeah,
I tore around quite a bit. You can go to
Brandy Posey dot com Brandy with an I E Posy
with an E y for all of my tour dates.
I also have a podcast called Lady to Lady um
that is very, very fun. We've had a lot of
really also in past guests like Margaret Trow and French
start Um. So come check that out to Normally we

(00:41):
work all that out ahead of time, and I introduced it.
But Sophie isn't here, and as you can tell, like everything,
everything's a nightmare. It's okay. You you have like a
terror in your eyes. Oh it's it's horrifying. Thought of
not knowing what to do. I don't know how to do.
I don't know what we're gonna do. Ad breaks. This
is this is the end for all of us. Do
you want me to count something down for you? No? No,

(01:01):
I should I put on a Sophie wig of some
kind of that. What will calm your nerves properly? For
this recording? The only possible thing to do in the
face of chaos is to just completely yield to the
chaos and give up even trying to structure the show perfect.
Sounds great? Yeah, I think that's I think that's the plan. Okay,
explains why you're standing on the table? Yeah, yeah, yeah, Now, Brandy, Yeah,

(01:23):
Today we have a subject that is near and dear
to no one's hearts, but more important than I think
a lot of people give it credit to. Today we're
talking about how Hitler fucked. Oh so glad you called
me for this one. I'm flattered. Well, I mean we
had you want to talk about Stalin and his his
his love of pranks and djaying and drinking more than

(01:45):
anyone else and now and fucking Hitler feels like a prank. Yeah,
well maybe or maybe not. I can't my my predictions
out of the gate. Can I give a prediction? Very
curious for that? Not a generous lover? Okay? And also
gonna say this. Um not going to shame somebody for

(02:07):
having a small penis because that is outside of your control.
But real angry guy never feeling he probably has a
little little guy. The funny thing about Hitler because Hitler,
Hitler's like the one person people have talked about more
than any other single person in the storm, always been
written about him and whatnot. Everything you just talked about,
the possibility he had a micro penis, the possibility he
was not a generous lover. This has all been debated

(02:30):
by like elderly scholars from Stanford and Cambridge at link.
Like That's one of the fun things about Hitler studies
is that, like that question about whether or not he
had a micro penis, like the CIA's weighed in, like
it's it's a thing. Imagine dedicating your career to that,
Like mom, dadam majoring in Hitler Dick, Well, just Hitler

(02:50):
studies in general. And if you're going to be into
Hitler studies, you're gonna have some questions about his dick. Yeah,
pH dick, pH dick in Hitler's fucking This is not
going to be the most adult episode in certain points,
but I'm good with that. I think you'll be surprised
where it goes. I do like that in front of
me on the table while recording. We do have a
product called a Purina busy bone, which is just right

(03:13):
on the table in front of me. Speaking of busy bones, Yes,
Hitler's it's debatable. It's all very very heavy bone. Didn't
get very busy, lazy bone. It's possible his bone got
a lot busier than people give him credit for. There's
a lot of debate around this topic. There's even a
lot of debate about the nature of his genitals. In
addition to the question that like the OSS, the precursor

(03:34):
to the CIA, talked a lot about like whether or
not yet a micro penis. Based on some interviews with
some people, there's a hypothesis that a goat bit off
his dick when he was very young, and that that
was the secret of his madness, that he goat bit
his dick. Want that to be true, That a lot
of people did, Like, again, where's that? I mean, we

(03:57):
don't want to we don't want to celebrate that goat
if it's the secret Hitler's madness. Yeah, I mean that's true.
That's true now, and we're not going to get into
much of that. There's also a theory that he had
one ball and there was like a song during the
war Hitler has only got one ball, going has two
but very small Nana no no, no, no no no.

(04:17):
That was like a British ditty. But there were real
rumors about it. Is that where that that melody comes from?
Or is that a weird al parody about it was?
I mean, weird al hadn't been conceived of yet, Like
it was it was a parody of of that like tune,
just an easy tune to mix a song too. There's testicles.
I just wanted to make sure that that wasn't like
what that original song was, because it was like, how

(04:39):
is that not a fact? In my lexicout At endpoint,
we have interviews with a couple of different doctors who,
you know, palpated Hitler's genitals because that's what doctors do,
and they all say perfectly normal. So there's no hard
evidence of that, but it has been debated a lot,
and I do think it's important that people know for
historical context that when bombs were raining down on London,
people were comfort themselves with songs about Hitler and Garring's genitalia. Yes, yeah,

(05:04):
I'm pretty into that. It's great. It's great. Nothing cuts
to the core quite like a parody song. No it doesn't.
Let's uh, let's dive deeper into this. Let's get in there.
Let's just get on in there. So, as you might
guess by the fact that I wasn't even holding up
my notes for that whole discussion about Hitler's genitalia and
the rumors about it, I am what you might call

(05:24):
a Hitler nerd. I've read enough biographies of the man
that I've started reading books about Hitler, biographies that are
essentially comparing all of the different biographies of Hitler, and
like like biographies about writing biographies about Hitler. It's a problem. Yeah, yeah,
it's not good. Do you have like a shell? Is
it like a shelf in your house? Or do you
have like a cloth in front of it? You know,
I own a couple of physical copies, but I I

(05:46):
for the show. I get too many books, Like I
just have everything i'd kindle, like I usually I'm buying
sometimes two or three in a week. Like, you just
take too long. It's better to have that all digital. Well,
although I think if you were to actually see titles
laid out in front of you. Physically, you'd be like, oh,
there's things that would be that would be nicer, but
it would I think it would take a lot longer
to put together episodes. Fair, Okay. The point of this

(06:08):
is that I tend to be on the cutting edge
of new Hitler research in terms of like what I'm reading.
I'm not doing new Hitler research, but I still yeah,
that's so uh speaking of that. A couple of days ago,
I was actively looking for new Hitler facts, just see
if any had come out in the last couple of

(06:29):
months since I checked that, and I came across an
article in The Independent called Hitler was a sexually confused
serial killer, psychologist claims in new book. So that's that's
quite a claim. So I think you can also probably
just say serial killer, because I think most serial killers
have got, you know, their wires crossed. Yeah. I mean

(06:50):
it's interesting the term confused for serial killer because I
wonder if like a guy like Ted Bundy probably wouldn't
be like, no, I wasn't confused. I just this is
what I wanted to do. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah.
The the confusion came from wherever the wiring crossed in
the first place. Yeah, he's very matter of fact about Yeah.
And the book that apparently makes these claims is titled
Hitler One and Hitler Too, The Sexual No Man's Land.

(07:10):
It's by a bestselling German author and psychiatrist named Vulcar
Ellis Pilgrim. Uh. And is that like a new like
that's a very dark cat in the Hat, Hitler one
and Hitler to the cat in the Hat go and
they just Hitler one and Hitler. Yeah, they can do
anything anything. Oh no, do the son in Red. It's

(07:31):
a white supremacist parody right there. Yeah, yeah, some some
Nazi listening in is already hard at work on that,
not the Dr SEUs version. I haven't gotten to read
that book because it's only in German and I do
not uh read German, which is almost the title of
a great podcast. There's podcast called I Don't Speak German

(07:52):
about the ault, right, but people should listen to if
they want. It's kind of like my show, but way
more focused on that one narrow group of people. Great
podcast anyway, I don't read German, Yeah, I don't read German.
Podcast is called I Don't Speak German Anyway. I couldn't
find the book, but I did find some claims that
are in the book. In this article, Hitler was a Adolf.
Hitler was a sexually confused serial killer whose violence was

(08:14):
driven by lust. In his new book, Mr Volker claims
the Nazi leader had an orgasm while watching a film
in which Austrian soldiers massacre French troops. Now this kind
of story is a treat for me because I've never
heard of this particular Hitler story before. I'm always I'm
always looking out for some new uh new h facts.
So quote he quotes Mary Ann Hop, an actress who

(08:35):
was an acquaintance of Hitler, describing a time that she
went to the cinema in the dictators Berlin Palace, who
watched a film called The Rebel. It featured Austrian troops
hurling boulders from a mountain onto the French below. Hitler
got some kind of thrill and rubbed his knees at
this event as the stones rolled down on the French
and groaned. I don't know if he was crazy, but
he got some kind of orgasm. She said. I wanted

(08:56):
to leave during the show. The man was creepy. Yeah,
that's um people gave pee Wee Herman a hard time.
People gave Herman a hard time. You know Hitler in perspective, Yeah,
if you compare the two, pee Wee should get the statue.
I feel like pee we should have just been left
to masturbate in that theater. But that's what that theater
was for. It's what the theater reports, not like he

(09:17):
was showing up at the cinemark to like showing anyway. Yeah,
I've been unable to yeah, find an English translation. But
in this article Mr Who, which apparently talked to the author,
Pilgrim talks about how he suspects there's a connection between
sexuality and violence and Hitler, and that his sexual excitement
at the thought of violence gave him the desire to
force men into killing. He says, however, since this lust

(09:39):
for killing is the decisive feature of serial killers, the
question inevitably arises. Was Hitler a serial killer who murdered
for the purpose of his gratification. Hitler's sexuality, I believe
drove the dictator into the most colossal annihilation that man
has witnessed. Now, that's that's this guy's claims and interesting premise.
I can see why a lot of people would want
to believe that. Um. Mr Pilgrim also speculates but Hitler's

(10:04):
sex life, claiming he had stained from sexual relations with
his mistress and then wife, Eva Brown. Now this all
sounds I think to a lot of people, they might
read this and be like, Okay, well this this seems
you know, of course he was crazy. Maybe that makes
him he was just a serial killer wh wound up
in charge of the country. I get why people would
want to believe that. I think what most people looking
at that wouldn't dig into it is kind of where
the guy is basing his claims on. And most of

(10:26):
them come from a dude called Ernst han stengel Uh.
Another nickname was Putsi, and Ernst was classic Putsy. Ernst
was a friend of Hitler's back in the day who
then started hating him. And I'm sure they happened with
a lot of Hitler's friends. That happened. We're not great
at keeping friends, not super good at friends. And I'll

(10:46):
be like, oh god, we just do I have to
answer keep answering his call. I think that might surprise
a lot of people. Not a good friend, not dictators
in general, not great friends. No, not not not. They
just take and they take and they take, they take
and they take and they take. Some of them are
fun to drink with, yeah, once or twice. Yeah. Like
if I could go back in time and just see
Stalin and all of his buddies how drunk, of course

(11:07):
I would want to try. I wouldn't want to be
drunk around Hitler. But Hitler didn't get drunk. He was
a teetotler. He was a teetotaler. Yeah. I mean he
was on meth a lot, but that was a doctor
giving it to him. Yeah, so he yeah, so he
thought that he was being medicated and he thought that
and that was you know that when we talked about that,
and there's a great book called Blitzed about that. Well,
I'm sure we'll talk about it someday, but like that
was mostly later in the war, like during his rise

(11:27):
to power. He's sober. Every now and then you'll hear
a story of him drinking like part of a glass
of champagne. But he was like yeah, yeah, which is
you know, control freaks and whatnot. Um, So I I
get the the the desire to like psycho analyze Hitler,
but going to Hampstegel for like advice, because Hanstengel has
a long time been claiming that Hitler was basically a neuter,

(11:47):
was like couldn't get off, had like no sexual life. Yeah,
um well, and that is a thing with a lot
of serialulers, where like they just can't come until they
find the thing that makes them right. Yeah. That in
if you think of Hitler as a serial killer, a
lot of this stuff makes sense. But I think what
most people don't realize when they hear stories like this
about every year or two there will be a new

(12:08):
rash of Hitler's sex life stories that little hit like
kind of shadier but not entirely bullshit outlets and stuff,
and then every now and then someone like The New
Yorker will give it a write up or whatnot. None
of this is new in the field of hitler ology.
And in fact, like all of these claims any claimed
that you like read about in like a modern paper
about like Hitler liking to poop on people, or the
possibility that it was Hitler was gay. All that stuff

(12:30):
was kicking around in the nineteen thirties. Um, so there
there's a lot of myths around this guy. And so
what I want to kind of do today is first
give kind of an overview of the myths that people
are still telling about Hitler and kind of the latest
couple of waves of this, and then we're gonna do
a really deep dive into his whole sexual history, his relationships,

(12:53):
everything that there is about him in like reputable scott
like scholarship. So jez so if you if you and
Hitler matched on tender and you wanted to google him
to find out what was really going on, this would
be the episode to listen to. This would be the
episode to listen to. Uh And spoiler alert, don't date Hitler. No,
don't date Hitler, No, don't Probably not gonna go. Well. Yeah,

(13:15):
So back in like a March of two sixteen, I
came across an article in the Daily Star with the
title Adolph Hitler was gay and loved teenage boys CIA
files claim. Uh. There was also a New York Post
article around the same time with the title Adolf Hitler
had a truly disgusting sexual fetish. It's equally emblematic of
like those types of articles. Um, these were all like

(13:36):
Spring of two sixteen wave articles, and they were all
based on a dossier, the oss, which is like a
precursor of the CIA put together um quote from the
New York Post. The Nazi leader's bedroom habits included a
love of Pooh sex, claims the dossier from the office
of Yeah so, which is what ship not dressing up
like Winnie the Pooh, not dressing up like Winnie the
Poop and looking for hunting. Yeah, the intelligent document says

(13:58):
that he liked women to stand over him and deaf
a kate because he was turned on by Pooh. This
is the New York Post keeps you on the word
pooh instead of feces, which just doesn't seem like great journalism.
It also revealed the fearer had a micro penis and,
as the famous song suggests, only one testicle. It also
revealed he liked to be brutally kicked by women as
part of his sex games. So again, this is always

(14:18):
presented whenever it comes up in the media. Is new.
This is all older than your grandparents. Yeah, this has
been around forever. It's been around forever. Yeah for sure,
this was yeah so. Uh. The root of most of
the salacious Hitler myths is that infamous OSS report titled
The Mind of Adolf Hitler was compiled by a doctor
named Langer, and was initially a secret thing that was

(14:38):
like written up as a brief for FDR at the
start of World War Two. It's based on a lot
of interviews and original documents and the source book behind
the paper, which is like all of the raw sources
that they compiled to write. This is a gold mine
of info. But we should be really critical about the
dossier itself. It has to be taken with as much
salt as you'd prescribe something written by a psychologist in
the nineteen forties, because it's filled with really debatable conclusions

(15:01):
based on bad psychoanalytic theory. I'm going to read you
one excerpt where doctor Langer tries to explain why Hitler
always carried around a whip as a young man. Quote.
Anyone who has ever seen Hitler talking in a bashful,
impuerile way to a woman would easily be led to
believe that in marriage he would be the underdog. But
that is manifestly wrong. It would seem that the whip
plays some mysterious role in his relationship to women. In

(15:23):
doctor Sedgwick's opinion, during the almost fifteen years of association
with Hitler, the whip, with which Hitler loves to gesticulate,
figures as a kind of substitute or auxiliary symbol for
his missing sexual potency. All this wielding of the whip
seems to be connected with a hidden desire on the
part of Hitler for some state of erection which would
overcome his fundamental sexual inferiority complex. The truth is that
Hitler is, in all probabilities, still in the stage of puberty,

(15:46):
and still in the essential meaning of the word a virgin.
I want to take that guy to a renfest. Just
just take a look around, do you make this? Yeah?
What do you think is going on here? And when
he referenced his doctor Sedgewick, that's Hans Steel. Yeah, so
he's this is again all based on that. A lot
of this is based on that guy's stuff. But like

(16:06):
Heather was definitely not a virgin, no, no, no, no, no,
for sure. How old was he when he went into
World War One? Do you know? Because he was in
his mid he was in the trenches the whole time. Yeah, yeah, okay,
I got you. So probably not even a virgin at
that point. It's debatable. We'll get into that a little bit. So, uh,
just as we kind of criticized that whips were really

(16:27):
common among German fascists to be used as weapons and
street fights at this time, and Hitler used his whip
in street fights a lot. He also used it to
flirt with girls a lot, So we'll talk about that something.
I that's pretty cool. It was pretty hardcore. Like the
idea of like a drive by whipping of the day.
It was more like a bunch of guys that would
give speeches in these like beer hales, because that's a

(16:48):
big thing in German culture, and like a bunch of
anti fascists would crowd around them, and like they would
start throwing bottles and fighting, and like fucking Hitler would
pull out his whip and start like swinging whips at
people and stuff. And you can fuck a dude up
with you. You can do with it. Holy shit. It's
a good weapon if you're gonna like beat on somebody
in a bar. Yeah, And it worked for that purpose.
And give Antifa all the whips now, yeah, yeah, I

(17:11):
mean they take a lot of training, but yeah, yeah, yeah.
I like Indiana Jones reclaiming the whip for the not
fascist side of things. Appreciate that I've never heard that
Hitler whip thing Hitler loved. You're gonna be hearing a
lot about Hitler's whip today. Yeah. So, anyway, because of
all of this misinformation, because of all of these like
conclusions that people still tried out based on like nineteen

(17:33):
forties psychoanalytic theory. I have gone through two different Hitler biographies,
uh the ones I considered probably the two best, John
Totland's and uh Ian Kershaw's, as well as a great
book called Explaining Hitler that's like a synthesis of a
bunch of different biographies, and I've tried to present what
I think is the most complete picture of the verifiable

(17:53):
facts of Hitler's sex life. So, anyway, if we're going
to understand how Hitler fucked, and help will talk about
how Hitler fucked, we have to start with Hitler's sexual prehistory.
What we know about how his dad fucked, or to
be more precise, who his dad fucked, so well, his
mom at least definitely his mom, definitely, that's a given,

(18:17):
at least at least twice. Right, because he had a sister.
You got her sister or something, right, Yeah, I think
she was a half sister. You know, I remember that
off the top of my head. His genealogy is very complicated.
So there was a younger girl. There was a girl
in a room in his house, girl Paula Hitler. He
had a he had a sister, and he actually like
one of the nice things Hitler did in his life
is that, as a younger man, he gave her his
his inheritance and like wound up kind of on the

(18:39):
street as a result of that, because she had a
kid and stuff. Um. So, one thing we leave out
a lot when we talked about Hitler's rice to power
is the army of crusading journalists who have fought a
desperate battle to stop him from taking control. They failed, obviously,
and a lot of them died. But for a while,
their investigations scared Hitler more than anything. He was frightened
that his family history would be exposed. When he learned
about one of the first of these investigation sans, he

(19:00):
allegedly told a party member, people must not know who
I am. They must not know where I come from. Now,
there are a lot of different rumors as to why.
The most salacious rumors that Hitler secretly had a Jewish background.
We don't know for certain who his father's father was.
His grandmother, Maria Schickl Gruber, was a forty two year old,
unmarried serving woman when she gave birth to his father

(19:22):
Alois in eighteen thirty six. Some legends say a wealthy
Jewish man or a nobleman impregnated her. We don't know
the church she was baptized in, in the entire town
where she was born. Dollar Sheim was obliterated by German artillery,
probably on Hitler's orders, in order to conceal his background,
which is serious. Warlord. Move right there, I'll give it
to you. Erase, yeah, get rid of that ship, Grandma.

(19:47):
One of those things, one of those few places you'll
catch like a lot of really serious historians speculating is like,
would it have even been possible for a guy with
the last named Schickel Gruber to have done the things
that it Hitler did, because it was kind of like
chance that he wound up with the last name Hitler,
like his dad adopted it from another guy who probably
wasn't his dad's. It's a messy case. Hitler was the
original name, and then they changed it to Hitler, and

(20:11):
I have trouble imagining Hyle Schickel Gruber because people will
keep stumbling over it. Guer It'd be like if Google
had had if their name had been like question asked, Yeah, exactly,
it just probably wouldn't have worked as well. No, no, no,
it definitely would not. So historians debate over the exact

(20:32):
nature of the genealogy further back than Hitler's dad. But
his dad was a bastard bad least. Maybe we don't
even know that much. All of this is still debated.
The odds that Hitler was ashamed of a secret Jewish
person in his past, though, are lower than the odds
that he was just worried people would find out his
dad was gross. Aloys Hitler was a mid level customs
official in brown Ow, Austria. He had been respected in

(20:55):
the local community, but his middle management image belide the
reality of a man who repeatedly may a children, Eloise's
cool where it's wondering when pedophiles are going to be
a part of the story. They will be a part
of this story all the way through? Well, oh am
I not surprised by that great naziason gross sexual story. Wow. Yeah.

(21:17):
Everybody focuses on the possibility that there was poosh sex
the stuff that we know is so much grosser than pooping,
like that's whatever. People who were perfectly fine can enjoy
that sort of thing. What we're talking about with Hitler
and his dad, both cases fucked up objectively, Yeah you can.
You can have consensual posh sex whatever, whatever. Just clean

(21:38):
your own sheets, clean your own sheets, or pay your
cleaning lady incredibly well, you know, I'm sure there's some
people who take that job. So Eloise's first wife was
much much older than him, and she died after a
few years of marriage. Some of the rumors or that
he married her for her money, which whatever. While Elois
was married, but while his first wife was sick, he

(21:59):
moved a sixteen year old girl into their home to
be his serving maid. This girl, Clara, was his niece.
Now cooler now. John Toland, who's one of the pre
eminent Hitler biographers of all times, uh says that Clara
was hot quote with abundant dark hair. He claims that
she was quote installed with the Hitler's at an end

(22:22):
where Alois was already carrying on an affair with the
kitchen maid Francisca. So when Alois his first wife is alive.
He's got this sixteen year old niece who he's hitting on,
and also this like seventeen year old kitchen maid named Francisca,
both of whom he's like starting up a thing with
while his first wife is alive and dying. So when

(22:42):
his first wife died, Alois got her money and married Francisca.
I'm gonna quote now from the fantastic book explaining Hitler.
After his first wife died, developments in the Alois Hitler
household began to take on the appearance of a maimed
French farce. After a period of living conjugally but without
the benefit of clergy and with the kitchen maid, while
simultaneously enjoying the services of the even younger maid and
niece Clara, he married the older one. Well, good for him,

(23:06):
Good for him picking that seventeen year old, not the
sixteen year old. I guess how old is he at
this point? He is in his forties now. According to
John Toland, Francisco was quote only too aware of how
tempting a pretty maid could be to the success was
to the susceptible Alois. After the wedding, the first thing
she did was get rid of Clara. Luckily for Alois,

(23:27):
his second wife soon died, allowing him to finally realize
his true dream of marrying his teenage niece. How do
you know how how did Francesca cancer? It was a
lot of cancer in the Hitler family tree. He was
kind of scared about not enough cancer among the Hitlers.
Some juvenile leukemia would have really doubt with some problems

(23:48):
for the world would not often I stand for juvenile leukemia,
but for Hitler, get up in them bones out. Oh
so uh. The only thing getting in the way of
Alois Hitler and his true love with his teenage niece
was the fact that they were very close relatives. They

(24:09):
officially share the same grand uncle, Johann Jorge Hidler. Now,
even in the late eighteen hundreds, marrying your teenage niece
was sort of frowned upon. Yeah, yeah, I see that.
This is not one of those things where no is
normal at the time, everybody's marrying their sixteen year old
serving girl niece. Alois had to get special dispensation from
the pope to marry and continue fucking his niece. He

(24:32):
wanted to funck his niece so bad he got papal
approval Oh my god, that's that's Hitler's dad. Just dear pope,
dear Pope, I got my niece. You gotta see this girl.
Let me send you a couple of pictures. I drew
some creatures just because you chose to be a seller.

(24:55):
But doesn't mean I need to be a sell a
bit and I'd like to break that with a child
with a child related to, related to and kind of
morally responsible to. Can I give a thumb? Can I
get a thumbs up? Thumbs up? Thumbs down? What's Catholicism say?
And the pope just said, go for it, go for it. Yeah,
Hitler's dad had every official papal permission to fuck his niece.

(25:17):
All popes are great, never done anything wrong. What a
great thing to exist a pope? Hitler is Catholic? Oh yeah,
I mean Hitler didn't really give a ship. Well, I
mean he was a hitlerst Yeah, like technically I guess
on the paper. Yeah, And at that point in Austria,
you're not going to not you gotta be straight with

(25:38):
the Catholic Church. It's Austria. It's Austria in the late
eight hundreds. How does this guy not get like the
sin guilt ship worked into him. I mean, he might have.
I assumed there were a lot. I assume there was talk.
I assume people were like, it's kind of fucked up, right,
but it feels so bad about sucking my niece child. Well,
I don't know if he did, but I'm gonna I'm
gonna guess people in town, and there were some like

(25:59):
but you know, those people all died of typhus, you know,
so we don't know what they were talking about. Not
enough all them austrious, Okay. So to make things even creepier,
According to Ron Rosenbaum's explaining Hitler quote, even after the
Vatican granted the dispensation, Clara continued to call her new

(26:19):
husband what she called him when she was still his
maid mistress uncle. So Hitler's mom called his dad uncle
the whole time Hitler was a kid. That's worse than
when parents call each other mother and father. Yeah, that's
grosser than that's like Mike pince Ship on another law Yeah, yeah,
my uncle. Yeah, it's gross. It's really gross, really nasty. Yeah,

(26:42):
this is the relationship Adolf Hitler was born into. So
I'm not going to say in fairness to Hitler because
you don't give Hitler credit for anything because he's Hitler. Yeah,
but as a baby, that's a rough situation to land in. Yeah. Also,
this is some classic uncle bullshit. Yeah, you always got
a good uncle in a bad When you got a
bad uncle, is nothing worse than a bad uncle. Hitler's

(27:04):
dad was like the platonic ideal of a bad uncle,
like the uncle that everyone's like, can he not come to?
Can you not have him around? Please? Just put that
uncle out of everything. Okay. So Hitler's dad marries two
women that Hitler biographer Ian Kershaw describes as young enough
to be his children. As a dad, he's remembered generally

(27:24):
as a strict authoritarian figure, but most people who knew
the family when his dad was alive say that Alois
wasn't you know, particularly violent or bad by the standards
of the time towards his kid or his wife. We
would probably almost certainly call the discipline that Hitler endured
child abuse today, but it was not out of the
norm for the area, and most of the boys in
Austria who grew up around Hitler didn't grow up to
be Hitler. So you don't want to put too much

(27:46):
influence on the fact that his dad was an authoritarian.
But a lot of the boys around Hitler did grow
up to be Nazis, So let's not discount the impact
of authoritarian parenting either. But it's probably not what we're
looking for for looking for the whole reason Hitler went
all crazy, the fact that his dad hit him sometimes. Yeah, exactly,
it's like, that's not going to be that doesn't that's
a real a Z Yeah. Next, yeah, exactly. You're you're

(28:08):
leaving out some stuff if you if you drop it
down to that, um my uncle, father, my uncle, my uncle, daddy,
Jesus oh Hitler. Uh. So we're going to dig into
Hitler as a young man in his early love affairs
and spoilers. They're as creepy as everything else in this

(28:30):
podcast is going to be. I'm not surprised if you
thought Hitler the dad was bad. No, Yeah, there's no
way like Hitler. Adolph is like a lothario coming from
this place at all. Know what surprising is how much
like Elliott Roger he is. Oh, I'm not surprised that
like fucking losers. Of course, that is the overwhelming thing

(28:55):
that you say to yourself when you get into some
real deep study of the Nazis. Is these fucking losers?
You can say, Uh, you know who's not losers though, Brandy,
the wonderful sponsors who support this show and or program
with their products and or services and or add Petro dollar,
add money. I'm spinning out of control here. Products We're back, boy.

(29:26):
I love those products. Hate Hitler hate exactly. And there's
nothing that's a squeegee for your brain as well as
a solid product or just a nice service, especially on
like a hot Hitler full day, just like being told
the possibility, the possibilities. You know what. Nazis didn't like possibilities,
but that's what you get with products and services, possibilities.

(29:50):
A lot of good economic discourse coming out of this episode.
We should write a book. Let's write another Hitler book.
There weren't enough of their There should be a couple
more hit Their books. Okay, so most of our what
Hitler think about square space? Yeah? Why would Hitler think
about square space? I don't like the free speech of

(30:10):
the internet. You know, I hate to say this because
it's what I do to make my living. But Hitler
would a thousand percent be a podcaster if you were
around the day. Absolutely. I mean, he like wrote at
length about how the best way, the only real way
to convince anyone of anything was with the human voice,
and like the power of like radio to isolate someone
with a voice and to really influence their thought, which
is one of the things that scares me about the

(30:31):
podcast era. But we're getting Yeah, he would be like
an Alex Jones type, but with his own show. Yeah,
but like, yeah, he would be a lot more popular
than Alex. Yeah he would because I don't think Alex
has a problem saying the quiet parts loud, and Hitler was,
up until the point where he took power, usually pretty
good about quietly saying the loud parts. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah,

(30:54):
I mean that's why he won. Yeah yeah yeah. So
most of our evidence for young Hitler's early love affairs
comes from a dude named August Kubazek. Now. Kubazek is
a heavily debated figure amongst Hitler scholars. He wrote a
book about his childhood with Hitler after the war. Uh.
It apparently started during the Third Reich as a pro
Hitler like Nazi biography, and then after the war he

(31:16):
was like, well, I mean I've already got this stuff down.
People are gonna want to know what Hitler was like
as a kid. So I'm gonna write this book. Um.
Some of what he says is definitely either a lie
or stretching the truth. There's a lot of debate over
how much to trust him. But it's also incontrovertible that
he grew up with Hitler, that he was Hitler's really
only friend as a kid, and that they lived together.
They were essentially like freshman college roommates in the big city.

(31:38):
Like so he no one else has this perspective. So
kubas Ex book is an irreplaceable source for the early
years of Hitler's life. You can't under like you have
to you have to be critically read him. You have
to read him. Um. I've read kubaz x book, of course,
and it's really interesting. If you do take it, I
would recommend reading like a John Toland or and Ian
Kershaw biography first and then go into kubas Ex. Got

(32:00):
some sort of context for it. Um, I'm gonna be
quoting from all three of these sources in the next
little bit here because it provides any good synthesis, and
I trust those guys to separate probable truth from probable
live better than I trust myself because they're elderly Hitler
scholars and I'm just a Hitler nerd anyway, perfect Kubazek
recalls exactly one romantic focus for Hitler in his young years,

(32:21):
a girl named Stephanie who lived in Lenz. That was
the small town that he grew up in. Now. Hitler
was madly in love with Stephanie, and we have no
evidence that she ever knew anything about him. In fact,
later in life after the war, when she was told
that Adolf Hitler had been in love with her, she
was shocked and horrified, Which is it's a dick move
to tell any what that O, man, what a bummer,

(32:42):
because you're just like, am I responsible? Like you get
through this horrible war. She was an Austria, she saw
some ship. It would have been a nightmare for anyone
living at that age. And you get through this horrible war,
and then like years later, someone's like, by the way,
Hitler wanted to fuck you? What would you ever tell
anybody that process that baby, we're pop and boners? Do
you don't don't tell her that, yeah, because then that

(33:04):
just makes you just rethink everything about this my fault. No, Stephanie,
you didn't. Definitely you didn't do anything wrong. I mean
you've been dead for decades, but you seem fine. You're
listening somewhere. Yeah, we get a medium. Should be doing
this podcast with a medium to contact some of these
people and be like hey, um it's okay, Yeah, it's

(33:25):
gonna be fine. Yeah. That's actually similar to another podcast
idea I have, which is using a medium to sexually
harass dead bastards. I really just want to like see
how uncomfortable I can make Chairman now. Oh yeah, yeah,
like really really get in there and like Locke has
ghost in a room. Yeah, I see where it goes.
I am on board that. I think we all are,

(33:48):
So if you want to. So Hitler was in love
with this girl who knew nothing about him. He became convinced.
And while they're in like elementary school essentially like early
high school era, that kind of thing. Like he's a teenager,
young teenager. So during this I was in marching band,
I had one of these kids. Exactly what this is.

(34:09):
I don't know if there's a woman I've met who
didn't have one of these kids in their life. That's
one of the anyway. Hitler became convinced that Stephanie was
sending him secret signals and the messages only he could see,
and he would yeah, yeah, they were destined to be together.
He would rant about all this to Kubazek, and Kubazek
claims he was pretty like questioning of all this stuff
to Hitler, but like only to an extent um. Kubazek

(34:31):
did try to convince Hitler that if he needed to
at least talk to this girl, if there's going to
be any hope of her liking him, at the very least,
He suggested that Hitler should learn to dance, because he
knew that Stephanie liked dancing, which is like solid advice, like, okay,
get get interested in something that's girls interested in have
a similar interest. Pretty solid advice today. So here's Kubazek quote,

(34:53):
all this is no good, adolph I replied, Stephanie is
fond of dancing. If you want to conquer her, you
will have to dance around just as aimlessly an idio
atically as the others. That was all that was needed
to set him off. Raving, no, no, never, he screamed
at me, I shall never dance do you understand Stephanie
only dances because she is forced to by society, on
which she unfortunately depends. Once she is my wife, she
won't have the slightest desire to dance. That is, and

(35:17):
Kuba's ex books are generally pretty pro Hitler book like
not pro the stuff Hitler did is like he's obviously
against the Third Reich, but like he presents a sympathetic
view of Hitler. And this is how he describes it.
What a I mean, what a little maniac. It isn't
the source for the word loser. It's truly insane. Like, no,
I'll never dance, She'll stop dancing. She'll stop dancing too,

(35:40):
She's not even dancing because she wants to society get away.
It sounds like a Reddit post. Totally sounds like redditost'.
He would be he would be so addicted to slash
Pole like he would he would never get off of
that fucking ship. He'd be an h Chan like he'd
be deep into this ship. Yeah, I'm not gonna learn

(36:06):
to dance. Never. I shall never dance, Alf Hitler. Here's
your fucking T shirt. Guilty feet and got no rhythm?
Oh ship? Nice? Oh boy? What are the good songs.
They always they always get it right. So exactly actually
about Hitler. It is about all music is about Hitler,

(36:27):
one way or the other. My theory, We'll talk about
Toto's Africa. It's it's a it's a stretch, but I'll
get you there. Now. I got a diagram, it's about
the desert fox. And now, obviously, waiting around and being
an insane person did not woo Stephanie. Gradually, Hitler started

(36:47):
to realize that she wasn't going to fall to him.
According to Kubazak, Hitler reacted like you'd expect a modern
day insult to react with threats of violence. Of course,
Stephanie was at that time in an unfriendly mood. She
would pass the basically nearby road with her face averted,
as though Hitler did not exist at all. This bought
brought him to the verge of despair. I can't stand
it any longer, he exclaimed. I will make an end

(37:08):
of it. It was the first, and as far as
I know, the last time that Adolf contemplated suicide. Seriously,
it was not uh. He would jump into the river
from the Danube bridge, he told me, and then it
would be over and done with, but Stephanie would have
to die with him. He insisted on that. Once more,
a plan was thought up in all its details. Every
single phase of the horrifying tragedy was minutely described, including
the part I would have to play. Even my conduct

(37:30):
of this as the sole survivor was ordained. The somber
scene was with me even in my dreams. Young Hitler, God,
just the most emo little ship kill himself and a
girl he doesn't know him. Had he even talked to
her at this point, as far as we know that,
he never said a word to her. Oh my god,

(37:51):
I just you can't hate him more, but you can.
You find new depths, You find new depths of yet
like Hitler, here's a new cavity of hate having filled
for you. I didn't expect this fucking loser. So you
know that he's a loser. And then it's just like
from this age too, you're like, oh, God, just go

(38:13):
to a toastmaster's class or something, new, piece of ship.
This is part of why I get all frustrated when
people are like, he was a sexual serial killer and
that's why, No, dude, he was just a lay mass dude.
He's for sure like Ane. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I am
older old this woman, and she doesn't deserve to live
if she doesn't like me, even though I've never even
talked to her. Like. There were his parents together, his

(38:35):
entire His dad died when he was, you know, in
his teens, and his mom died. Not all that, I mean,
his dad died when he was pretty young, and his
mom died also when he was pretty young, like a
young adult, So I don't think he had His dad
was pretty authoritarian, but once his dad kicked off, it
was kind of just his mom and she was sort
of he was a mom's boy. She was sort of
a doting mom. Clara, Yeah, Clara Hitler, Clara Hitler, Yeah,

(38:56):
yeah Hitler. Adolf Hitler's mom was Clara. Okay, okay, gotcha. Yeah.
So's he's born an incest and then his dad dies
and then he's raised away. Okay, gotcha? Yeah yeah, so um.
Outside of his obsession with Stephanie, Kubazex says he doesn't
know of any individual women in Hitler's life in this period,
certainly no one he might have fucked. When they became

(39:17):
young adults and moved to Vienna together, hit the remained
unlate here's John Toland's coverage of Kubaze's recollection quote. On promenades,
girls and women would often slightly glance at them. At first,
Kubazek thought their interest was directed to him, but it
soon became apparent that the reserved Adolph was the object.
He coldly ignored their silent invitations if the two did
nothing about sex. They spent hours at night discussing women,

(39:38):
love and marriage, with Adolph, as usual, dominating the conversation.
Over and over. He insisted that he must keep the
flame of life pure. That is, he believed, in accordance
with his Catholic upbringing, a man and a woman should
keep themselves chased in body and soul until marriage, and
just thus be worthy of producing healthy children for the nation.
But the dark side of sex also haunted him, and
he talked by the hour about depraved sexual customs. He

(40:01):
railed against prostitution, condemning not only the horrors and their customers,
but society. His condemnation approached obsession, and one night, after
attending a performance of Wittikins Spring Awakening, he took Gustal's
arm and said, we must see the sink of iniquity.
Once they turned down a small dark alley it was
the spittelberg Gassa, and walked past a row of small
hostels so brightly lit that they could see the girls

(40:22):
inside and their scanty and slovenly attire. They sat there,
recalled Kubazek, making up their faces and combing their hair
and looking at themselves in the mirror, without, however, for
one moment, losing sight of the men strolling by. Occasionally
a man would stop in front of a house converse
with a girl, and the light would go out. When
the two youths reached the end of the alley, Adolf
maneuvered them in an about face, and they took another
long look at the appalling site. Back in their room,

(40:44):
Adolf went into a lengthy tirade on the evils of prostitution,
with quote a cold objectivity, as though it were a
question of his attitude towards the fight against tubercy losis
or towards cremation. So this is young Hitler, h celibate,
angry about other people not being celibate, and uh a
real thought, audit level hatred of sex workers. He is

(41:10):
gallons of coming his sleep at this point in his life.
I mean every fucking night. What a what a shitty
little His socks shatter when they're tried. Seriously, I cannot imagine,
like how many fucking wet dreams is due to this happen,
And they're all about the stuff that he says. Is terrible,
because that's why you rant about this for hours to

(41:32):
your best friend and you're like concealing an erection as
he yells about prostitution out there trying to make a
living of any kind in this world. Again, we all
knew a Hitler. We've all known this kid. No, absolutely,
Oh god, yeah, it's the one that he's like that.
That's like one of the names that you text the
other people you went to high school with that you

(41:53):
just laugh about when you hear their name, like remember
that guy, Oh fuck yeah, oh that guy. Yeah. You know.
So Hitler's mom died like right before this point of
like a really really horrifying cancer. Uh. And then you
know he would have been with Kubazek, which is where
that happened. They lived together for a while, but Kubazek
was successful, like he was a really good musician and Hitler,

(42:16):
you know, didn't get in the art school. That's a
pretty famous story. He eventually ran out of money and
wound up living in a men's home, which was essentially
like a homeless shelter for vagrant. According to Ian Kershaw,
being homeless did not improve Hitler's game. Yeah, I can't
imagine that would quote fair home wouldn't have have approved
his game. It seems like he was kind of helpless

(42:37):
either way. I don't would have helped him. Yeah. Quote.
When his circle of acquaintances got round to discussing women
and doubtless their own former girlfriends and sexual experiences, the
best Hitler could come up with was a veiled reference
to Stephanie, who had been his first love, though she
never knew it because he never told her. The impression
left with Reinhold Hannisch was that Hitler had very little
respect for the female sex but very austeer ideas about

(42:58):
relations between men and women. Hainish recalled Hitler telling him
of a brief encounter with a milkmaid while he was
still at school, ending abruptly when she made advances and
he ran away, knocking over a churn of milk in
his haste. This was probably a lie by Hitler. Hitler
described his own ideal woman as cuddle is a cute, cuddly,
naive little thing, tender, sweet and stupid. Cool. Cool, that's great. Well,

(43:23):
I mean it runs in his blood. Does run in
his blood? Yeah? God, it's gonna be weird how much
it runs in his blood. But first we're back, okay. So.

(43:47):
Hitler also claimed during this period that women would inherently
quote rather bow to a strong man than dominate a weakling.
Even for the time young Hitler was seen as a
bit of a prude. This meant he didn't fit in
super well. In turn of this in reb where erotic
art was in vogue and people were starting to do
the nineteen o nine version of opening up a little bit,
what's because he's just like popping boner's all over the

(44:08):
just popping. Everyone could see his leader housing is just
like a fucking arrow. Yeah. And it's just like constantly
just like very sweaty and pink with a giant, angry
direct terrible artists screaming at everybody and talking about how
it's bad to come get Hitler like god nerd um. So.

(44:34):
One of the things that was happening in Vien at
this time the turn of the century is that rules
about women's modesty had started to change and women were
allowed to. I mean, we're not talking like woke by
our standards, but things are improving, you know, things are improving,
and some women are pushing the envelope, both professionally and
just how they present themselves to the world. Young Hitler
did not like that, of course. Here's exert from Kershaw's

(44:56):
book again quote where decency demanded that women were scarcely
allowed to even show an ankle. Hitler's embarrassment and the
rapidity with which he fled with his friend when a
prospective landlady, during a search for a room for Kubazek,
let her silk dressing gown fall open to reveal that
she was wearing nothing but a pair of knickers. But
his pritishness went far beyond this. It amounted, according to
kuba's E's account, to a deep disgust and repugnance at

(45:17):
sexual activity. Hitler avoided contact with women, meeting with cold
indifference during visits to the opera, alleged attempts by young women,
probably seeing him as something of an oddity, to flirt
with or tease him. He was repelled by homosexuality. He
refrained from masturbation. Prostitution horrified but fascinated him. He associated
it with venereal disease, which petrified him. So it is

(45:38):
again hard to say how much of kuba's 's account
is true. If Hitler was originally super anti gay, for example,
he definitely got over that ship by the time he
was out of the army. Ernst Rome, the head of
the brown Shirts, was a flamboyantly gay man who was
flagrant about his love life. Hitler did eventually kill Rome,
but only after he was in power, and some accounts
say he resisted doing so for a very long time

(45:58):
and expressed angst over the dectitian. Basically, Rome wanted to
replace the German Army with the brown Shirts, and that's
why Hitler had to get rid of him. And there
was definitely like he was willing to kill him because
he was gay and he was seen as like a liability.
But Hitler wasn't inherently against the idea of working with
like he see. It seems like he moderated on that
as during his time in the army, at least from
like a one point of view or another. There's debate

(46:20):
about how much. But one thing that didn't change from
Kubaze's memory of him was Hitler's obsession with innereal disease.
The subject came up frequently in mind camp and in
Hitler's early speeches. He generally like would compare the Jewish
refugees immigrating to the country is like a form of
vinereal disease. And there was a lot of anti Semitic
claims that Jewish prostitutes were spreading typhus. And there's actually

(46:41):
a rumor that Hitler himself got syphilis from a prostitute sometime,
and like when he was a young adult. Semon Visenthal,
the fame Nazi hunter, went to his grave believing this,
even though there's no good evidence about it. There's a
lot of weird questions as to why people is someone
like Visenthal, who was a Holocaust however himself would be
so much like into one to believe this. Yeah, you

(47:04):
and like it's also there's like some weird A lot
of the attempts to explain Hitler kind of come across
as blaming a single Jewish person for his hatred of
Jewish people, which is really problematic. Yeah. Kubazek, for his part,
always claimed that Hitler was to the best of his knowledge,
a normal dude sexually uh, not homosexual, not into anything weird,

(47:28):
just like kind of a sexually frustrated young man. Um
Kubazek was so emphatic about that because by the nineteen fifties,
when he was working on his book, there were numerous
rumors that Hitler had been gay. This conspiracy theory is
best embodied by the book The Pink Swastika from nineteen
That book was a major source for a reason Denis
dis Is a documentary where Denis claims that democrats of

(47:48):
the modern Nazis and that gay people are Nazis and
Hitler was gay as a regular headline and far right publications.
I found one on Breitbart from two thousands sixteen that
just said new evidence from his doctor there shows Hitler
was gay. Obviously it's not new evidence, it's just it's
it's the old OSS reports that suggested Hitler was homosexual. Uh.
In the OSS document, Dr Langer wrote, quote, his sex

(48:11):
life is as dualist political outlook. He's both a homosexual
and heterosexual, both socialist and fervent nationalists, both man and woman. Again,
that's just like psycho and like bullshit. There's there's no
evidence that he was homosexual, he was okay with working
with gay men, but like there's no evidence beyond that,
and it's like, yeah, one of the things that's interesting
to me is when you read a lot of like
the old nineteen thirties and late twenties news articles criticizing Hitler.

(48:35):
A lot of these like nineteen twenties German journalists, some
of whom are conservative, when they're talking about like homosexuality
with the Nazi Party, go out of their way to
not condemn homosexuality, to just be like that, we're condemning
the Nazis because their attitudes on homosexuality are so negative,
but they have all these gay members, which is more
nuanced than I expected out of like nineteen twenties journalists

(48:57):
in Germany. Interesting, Well, it does like a out of
sense though, because it's like, i mean, coming after World
War One, you're in the trenches with men, and you
need some kind of comfort to probably a lot of
dudes fucking in World War One, share Yeah, yeah, just
to feel like you're a person and not just part
of a meat grinder. Yeah, you know. So it's like
I'm sure that definitely, you know, part of why attitudes

(49:20):
started to open up right until the Nazis claimed them
shut again. Yeah, exactly. Now, Just so we covered the
basics of Hitler's life here. Hitler served in World War One. Obviously,
he was at the front basically the entire war. There
are rumors, as we covered in our Children of Dictator's episode,
that he fathered a son with a frenchwoman during this time.
This is very much doubted by historians, the kind of

(49:40):
thing you can't hundred percent debunk um. But for what
it's worth, the son of the guy who thought he
was Hitler's son says that Hitler was a gentle lover
to his grandma. I don't know what that's based on.
Seems like a reach. It seems like a weird flex too. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
a gentle of here's the thing, I don't even know.

(50:00):
I felt he would be just like a petrified guy
that would like come really quickly, and I'm going to
guess that is more accurate. Yeah, that feels way like, yeah,
he's probably all fucking talk and then he's just like okay,
little sorry, yeah, oh no, because I'm sorry. That's that's
the Hitler. Now. When Hitler got back from World War One,

(50:21):
he was sent by his military superiors to infiltrate a
meeting of the National Socialist Political Party. And yeah, you
know the rest more or less. Uh. He started giving
speeches there, became a figure in the National Socialist Party,
consolidated power and plotted his you know, not quite meteoric,
but eventually total rise to power. Now, we don't have
a whole lot on Hitler's sexuality during the early nineteen

(50:43):
twenties or his relationships. Haunch Stengel is one of the
main sources for the claims that Hitler might have been gay. Uh,
and he said stuff like this quote. Obvious prostitutes barely
admitted to the kaiser Hof Hotel were fervently admired by him,
provided that they appeared in couples or with a man.
A solitary woman is usually ignored by him, unless he
is in a large crowd and can send in someone

(51:04):
to find out her identity. He always wishes to be
a spectator, do you know, he once said to doctor
Sedgwick in nineteen the audience at the circus is just
like a woman. Someone who does not understand that intrinsically
feminine character of the mass will never be an effective speaker.
Ask yourself. What does a woman expect from a man? Clearness, decision, power, action.
Like a woman, the masses fluctuate between extremes. What we

(51:25):
want is to get the masses to act. This can
obviously not be done with an appeal to their selfishness,
nor to their cowardice, but by an appeal to their idealism,
their courage, and their spirit of sacrifice. Who has more
the spirit of sacrifice than a woman? If she has
talked to properly, she will be proud to sacrifice, because
no woman will ever feel that her life sacrifices have
received their dual fulfillment. Let's Hitler analyzing the German people

(51:47):
and interesting, Yeah, you know just what a first date?
But a first date? Uh. Han Stengel claims to have
asked him once, why don't you marry? And he says,
Hitler answered, quote marriage is not for me and never
will be. My only bride is my motherland. Then, seemingly
with no sequence of ideas, he added, there are two
ways in which a man's character may be judged, by
the woman he marries and by the way he dies.

(52:10):
When Hanstengel once playfully said, if not a bride, you
want to have a mistress. Hitler replied, politics is a
woman he who loves her unhappily bites off his head.
So this is one of the versions of Hitler. You
get that he's just too busy being the embodiment of
Germany to to flirt with ladies. What a I think
in this day he continues that line the rest of

(52:32):
his life. I think in this stage it's not true,
but he's not actually dating around that much, and in
this stage he's still too awkward. He starts to have
success with women when he gets popular, Yeah, when he
starts getting some power, because then it's not about him,
it's about the mythic thing that he's created. And in
that case, he keeps saying that out loud and hiding
his relationships with women. But he's also fucking some people.

(52:54):
So anyway, that's the that's the way this goes. Uh.
So it's hard basically possible to say when Hitler lost
his virginity. We do have one spectacular example of Hitler
striking out with a lady. It happened in right before
Hitler's famous beer hall push, when they were at Birkdas Garden.
Now the story is related by Hanstengel, who had come
to visit Hitler and Birkenis Garden on invitation, but like Hitler,

(53:16):
didn't like own a house there or anything. At that
point that we're all staying in a hotel. The manager
of the hotel was a guy named Herr Buckner, who
was a German flying ace in World War One and
who had, according to han Stengel, a quote striking Lee
Bucksom six foot tall blonde wife, which made her taller
than Hitler. This rather vulgar, sinsuwish, blue eyed woman had
manifestly succeeded in completely inflaming Hitler to a degree that

(53:39):
made him seem entirely beyond himself. His breath was short,
his cheeks feverish, his eyes filled with exaltation. In a
swashbuckling manner, Hitler was strutting up and down the large
veranda and garden, swinging his whip. He would stop now
and again to talk to fraud Buckner, whip in hand,
punctuating his sentences with the whip in a schoolboy fashion.
He was obviously showing off talking at Frau Buckner. Here

(54:00):
in the numerous gallery of admiring females, all party adherents.
He made, however, no impression on freud Buckner. On and
on he went through the whole afternoon, acting the Desperado,
the wild man, the man of destiny. The whole performance
seemed hopefully pubescent and empty. Oh God, hits just swinging
a whip trying to flirt with a girl. Check out

(54:20):
my will check this ship out? Good I am with
his whip. Are you impressed? You think I look good? Oh?
That's like the version of just like watching somebody play
video games. Check it out? No, check out, good I am.
Let me get this head shot. So many potions. Think
of how many potions I have. It's not real now.

(54:41):
Hitler also had a gigantic crush on his friend Puts,
his wife, Helena hop Stengele. Uh Ian Kershaw writes quote.
On one occasion, he took advantage of Puts hop Stengle's
brief absence from the room to fall on his knees
in front of Helena hop Stengle, describing himself as her
slave and bemoaning the faith that had led him to
her too late. When Helena told him of the incident,
Puts the it down to Hitler's need to play the
role of the languishing troubadour from time to time. This

(55:04):
guy just like needed to be like that. He's a cuck,
is what he actually is. That I think is what
he would have preferred. He needed a good sex therapist.
You say, no, dude, just do this, Yeah exactly, just
like asked, like, watch some of your friend's bone. That's
what I think you'd That's why I think you'd be
happiest with Hitler. Maybe give up politics and just watch
your friend's bone. Yeah, that guy be that guy that

(55:27):
so compared to Hitler, that's a great guy to be. Yeah. Well,
and especially like that is the child of a dad uncle. Yeah,
I mean, like that's what your kid becomes. Yeah. So
when Putsy later expressed the worry that Hitler was essentially
trying to steal his wife's affections, Helena told Putsy not
to worry. Hitler was quote an absolute neuter. So that

(55:49):
was Helena's attitude towards him. Now, Hitler would later prove
them and the oss wrong. Actually, in the early autumn
of nine, when the rising fascist political star met a
girl named Mimi writer. We will talk about her. Hitler's
courtship process and his preferences and fucking in part two
of this podcast, but right now it's the end of

(56:11):
the episode till Thursday when we talk about the rest
of this stuff. Yeah, that was just just getting us
to this, to Mimi. That's just getting us to Mimi,
us to Memi. Maybe the first girl. He it's really well, no,
not the first girl he fox, but like the first girl,
we have a lot of detail on how he courted her.
I see, so we're gonna be talking a lot about
how Hitler flirted with girls. Cool was finally moving on

(56:32):
from his sucking hand, his fucking hand, his leader. Hosn't
exactly He's such a he's such a loser. He's such
a loser, benign loser. There needs to be like what
is the people need to know? How lame we we
we always do like it's either like Hitler at the

(56:52):
end of the war where he's like a sick old man,
or like Hitler is this terrifying warlord and we miss
out on in Cell Hitler, you definitely nail the Elliott
Roger perspective for sure, Like and he it's so interesting too,
because it seems like he skipped right to in Cell,
like I didn't have this like game phase where he
was even trying to make it work. He just immediately

(57:13):
knew that he needed power of any kind to get
anybody because he was such a zero because he yeah,
there was otherwise no chance. Yeah. Um, the entitlement all
of Yeah, it's hate it. It's gross, you know. I
try not to like psychoanalyze how much of this was,
like did he get into power because he was Like
I think it was probably ancillary and everyone does things
for a lot of reasons. But like you can't look

(57:34):
at his back story and not see that like frustrated
kid who just like, yeah, doesn't understand why some people
are good at that, and he's not like he's pissed
because of it. Well, and it's just like the entitlement
as opposed to like growing yourself and making yourself a
more rounded exactly. I mean that that that's exactly. It's
all these kind of guys. It's just like just get

(57:55):
a hobby that isn't just like trying to fund somebody.
It's like not just be if be a well rounded
person in your own regard, and then people will be
interesting for people to be interested in you. Yeah, because
his whole thing, and like in Kuba's X book, it
becomes like the way he portrays Hitler's like he loves
talking about his opinions on everything, of course, but he's
not good at much. He just loves to talk about

(58:17):
what he thinks about things. Yeah, of course, and like
learn to dance, man, that kind of self important with
nothing to back it up. It's just we don't care.
Learn to dance, yeah, like's not that serious. Just like,
learn to dance a little bit. Go do something besides
yell at people. Hitler, Yeah, get a fucking dog. Yeah,
get a fucking dog. Well he did do that, and

(58:39):
we will talk about how dogs play into his flirtation
style soon. Of course they do. It's going to be gross. Brandy,
you've got some pluggable to plug. Yeah. You can find
me on Twitter and Instagram at brand Dazzle b r
A n d A z z l E. I have
a podcast called Lady to Lady that's very fun every
Wednesday me Barbara Gray Test Barker with a fourth guest

(59:00):
every week. Um. And then if you were in Los Angeles,
I have a monthly show every second Saturday called Picture
This That is um, it's the Virgil it's a ten
dollar show. It's a comedians paired up with animators and
they live animate your jokes during your set. It's very,
very fun. We just had Pendleton a ward of the
creator of Time on the last last one. Craig Bartlett
does our show a lot. He's the creator of Hey Arnold,

(59:21):
And we have people from like bo Jack and Big
Mouth and like all sorts of awesome cartoon shows. It's
super Man. That's crazy. Yeah, that's awesome. Yeah, it's really fun.
And second Saturday every month it's my favorite thing to do.
Um and then I tore like half the year, so
Brandy posey dot com and uh yeah that sounds so
much more gratifying than just talking about Hitler sex life.

(59:42):
It is. But if you're into Hitler sex life, you
should follow my Twitter. I'm at I right, okay, you
should follow the show's twitter at Bastards Pod. You find
the sources for this episode and every episode on behind
the Bastards dot com. Uh, look us up on tea
public Behind the Bastards tea public by shirt where it
fight Hitler even though he's dead and you're not actually

(01:00:03):
fighting him. Just buy a shirt and feel better. Uh, capitalism. Uh,
you'll find us on Twitter and on Instagram and a
Bastards pod. Sophie isn't here and this is a goddamn
train wreck. Uh, play me out, Johnny,