June 12, 2017 • 68 mins
For our thirtieth episode of The Bechdel Cast, we decided to get drunk on Mike's Hard and SCREAM about Brendan Fraser's performance in 1999's The Mummy with our good pal and fellow comic Georgea Brooks for a full hour!
Important note: Brendan Fraser said he would be 'first in line' to see the new Mummy movie with Tom Cruise. DOES ANYONE KNOW IF BRENDAN WAS COMPED INTO THE MUMMY? OR DID HE HAVE TO PAY???
(This episode contains spoilers)
Follow @GeorgeaBrooks on Twitter! While you're there, you should also follow @BechdelCast, @caitlindurante and @hamburgerphone
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
On the Doll Cast, the questions asked if movies have
women in them, are all their discussions just boyfriends and husbands,
or do they have individualism the patriarchy? Zef and best
start changing it with the beck Del Cast. Hi, Welcome
to the beck Doell Cast. My name is Jamie, my
name is Caitlin, and this is our podcast about how
(00:20):
women are portrayed in movies. And uh, we use the
Bechdel test, which let's lay it out for you. It's
based on test invented by author Alison Bechdel. It is
a test that you have to put up, Oh God, okay,
I'm doing so well. Uh, there has to be a
(00:42):
scene in the thing you're watching that has two women
in it, preferably with names. We say, with names, with names, assertive, okay,
and they are talking about something that is not a man.
That's all it takes. That's all it takes. But wouldn't
you know what A lot of movies don't us the
Bectel test. Uh, it's yeah, no, yeah, it's it's too bad.
(01:05):
It's a damn shame. It's a goddamn shame. It's a
goddamn shame. However, it's the world we live in and
I'm okay, how are you. I'm doing pretty well. I'm
about to crack open a small bottle of chardonnay. I
didn't have time, not just any Oh no, I'm sorry. Well,
I'll be the drunk one on this episode. Uh, it's
not just any schardon ay, it's Crane Lake chardon ay
(01:28):
and it comes in a plastic bottle. I'm sorry. As
someone who's drank whine out of plastic bottles plenty of times.
What's wrong with that? There's nothing wrong with that. I
just wanted to, you know, I wanted to seem relatable.
You know, I'm not one of these fancy glass bottle
drinking Caitlin's usually drinking out of a glass bottle while
(01:48):
I'm drinking my Mike's hard trying to trying to keep
it real Hollywood to eat, you're out in another It's
just not today. I'm I'm with the the proletariat class
with my plastic bottle that I will recycle. Yeah, welcome back,
Welcome back to her anyway. So we talked about movies,
(02:09):
specifically about the portrayal of women in the movies, and
we have a guest every episode. Today is no different. No,
nor will it ever be. I'm excited yesterday. She has
her own podcast, whoa what does? She called Your Booze
Your News, where she and her co host get very
drunk and then say the news and it's a lot
(02:29):
of fun. And she's a comedian and she's very funny.
Georgia Brooks, Hi, Hi, thanks for being here. Oh my god,
thanks for having me. I can't wait to talk about
boys together. That's what we're doing, right, talk about boys.
Who do you have a crush on? Oh my god?
And I don't even want to talk about right now.
I have a rough week. And if you're going to
(02:52):
talk about your rough week here, we're going to have
to change the subject to boys, right. Sorry, um, sorry,
this is this podcast? Oh never Well Exchangers Past the
backdult Test. Yeah, well, that's like our intro basically of Hi,
I'm Jamie. Hi, I'm Caitlin. We did it. We have names.
We're not that we're talking about women, we're talking to
(03:14):
about ourselves. Really, I'm Caitlin, I'm Jamie. Very self involved
for talking about the movie. So it's like the whole
podcast past. Although sometimes we do spend a lot of
time talking about Alfred Molina. That's me. We got an
audible aris, donta laugh. I think Alfred Molina actually okay
to transition into the movie we're talking about today. I'm
(03:37):
surprised Alfred Molina was not in this movie. I think
that this he would have been a good fit. I
love seeing Alfred Molina in a vest. This is a
very vest heavy movie. I love seeing Alfred Molina playing
too type, not against type. I don't like to see
him challenge himself googling who you're talking about by the
(03:58):
Oh my gosh, he's the beef kick. Oh my god,
I just saw him in an episode of Shetland. Really yeah,
I need to watch it. I think that I need
to like lock myself in my home and watch everything
he's ever been in and uh and come out a
new person, come out of Guru. But Alfremlea unfortunately is
not in this movie. But it seems like he could
(04:19):
be totally he would be a great fit. So glad
I looked it up so I could talk he aesthetically.
Now I'm thinking about he aesthetically works very well for
can we say it the Mommy Fraser that one the
roller coaster movie. Yes, if you've ever been to Universal Studios.
(04:40):
Can I just say I like, told my boyfriend was like,
I gotta watch Georgia the Jungle this week and then
time is later, and message him being like, I meant
the mommymy totally alright. Because Brendan Frasers in Georgia the Jungle,
I think that's not Georgia the Jungle too. I got confused.
(05:02):
There's someone who is just as handsome and mad as him.
Did you know that Alfred Moina is a series regular
in Angi Tribecca. No I did not. I didn't either.
I haven't seen Untili Tribeca. Now I'm gonna watch it.
I mean I knew he was on Feudecca if we could,
I honestly wouldn't mind if we if we talked about
(05:23):
boys the whole time. I love talking about boys, especially
when boys are Alfredia. Also, can I say, like, I
know this is controversial, but Brandon Fraser rewatching the movie,
and by rewatching, I mean I honestly, once I started
watching the Mummy yesterday, I was like, oh, I haven't
seen this before. Oh perfect, I had never seen this movie.
I didn't know that I hadn't seen it because I'm
(05:45):
probably because I was thinking about George of the Jungle.
I thought i'd seen it because I've been on the
roller coaster so much. And that's true because there's a
video of Brendan Fraser in character that used to be
at the end of the roller coaster. It's the only
thing that is the only like video tie in that's
better than the Brendan Fraser saying at the end of
the ride, WHOA, that was pretty crazy. Anyways, remember to
(06:06):
unbuckle your seat belts like that was literally what the
video was. A little fact that's still his only gig.
He still gets royalties from that rollercoaster video. But the
only one that's better, if you're listening at home is
look up the Bill Paxton Rest in Paradise Twister Experience video.
It's not a ride that exists anymore. It's literally one
of those like Hollywood things where you go in and
(06:28):
you just watch a set from Twister blowsh it around,
and then at the end there's a video of Bill
Paxton saying, Wow, the majesty of Nature. Check out Twister.
It came out, this ride existed is recently is five
years ago where uh in Florida. It was like I
think it was like, yeah, like Universal Studios in Florida.
(06:49):
I mean, this is the second movie we've done now
that has had a dater. Can you guys do Pirates
of the Cab. We're gonna do the Country Bears. We're
gonna do you guys are gonna do Song in the
South anytimes? Oh No, that is a roller coaster movie.
It's like my favorite roller coaster and it's problematic on
literal mountains, isn't that Yeah? Yeah, yeah, and they're like,
(07:13):
let's change it. Let's not change it. I'm sure somebody
will also do Jurassic Park. I would love the Drastic Park.
Raft ride is fine. I love it. Well, there's a
place called Paramount, Canada's Wonderland, and I bet they've got
a lot of rides based on movies that you guys
just don't know. Our rides about Raider, there's a room,
(07:35):
no way. Yeah, I would almost got to go to Killa.
I would almost prefer that to well, I don't know.
There's also the one with the guy who jumped on
the couch Tom Cruise. He's in the new movie movie
What's the What's the movie? Top Gun? There's a top
Gun ride there too. Way. Yeah, rules kicks the shift
(07:59):
out of that twist to ride. It wasn't even ride,
you just stared at it. Oh wait, here's another good time.
This is a roller coaster podcast. Now. I love and
my mom. I've never seen my mom more excited than
to go on the Aerosmith roller coaster in Orlando, Florida.
For some reason, the Disney Corporation took it upon itself.
(08:19):
You know who needs to be adapted into a roller
coaster The band Arrowsmith. I mean, they're not wrong there,
it's they're a great band. They're from from my hometown,
for crying out loud, there from Boston. Um. So my
mom like she she used to be a roadie for
the Beaver Brown Band. She was there their their road
(08:43):
sled or whatever she did. I don't know. I don't
know exactly what she did with the Beaver Brown band,
but she let's call her right like Joe, what was
your affiliation? She doesn't like to talk about it. So
I think she was the Red Slide um, but she
she aspired to be the Aerosmith roads that never got there.
We went to Disney World when I was like twelve,
(09:04):
and she all she wanted to do was gone the
Aerosmith roller coaster and was thrilled because when you're in
the waiting area because it's an in demand roller coaster,
there's lines there. Can that be true? But it's a
great roller Okay, but there. I was on it last
year and I was like, not hold up, but there's
a huge like you're waiting in like their studio, and
(09:25):
then all of Aaronsmith acts and this short sketch and
they're so bad and they're just like, oh my god,
we gotta get to tour it the venue. We gotta
get to the veneo God, get us to the Greek
or like whatever they're saying. Um And Steve Tyler is
there and he's like, oh my god, guys, we're going
to be late. Hey didn't. Then the appoint it me
(09:47):
and they say, hey, can you drive for us? We
need some roadies And my mom was like because she
wanted to be ready. Yeah, she was thrilled. Oh my god,
this is the coaster cast. Anyway, the movie was cool,
So you guys hadn't have seen it before. I think
(10:08):
I saw it when it first came out in and
then never again except for today and yesterday when I
watched it twice and then maybe never and never again
after this, but it's a time for the recap. Yeah,
all right, there, you guys, don't do that. Oh yeah,
(10:28):
cut a track right now in every single time. Well, first,
I feel like someone was like, Hey, I really want
to make an Indiana Jones movie. But I don't have
the rights to Indiana Jones, but I want to make
an Indiana Jones movie anyway, So I'm gonna make this movie,
and I'm not going to care that it's very bad. Probably,
I say, I can see that it has such an
(10:50):
Jones feel, as Jones accept like a really like a
CVS brand Jones. Yeah. But then I was up and up.
That's so funny that you think that, because I was thinking, Oh,
this is like a better version of National Treasure, which
is just another version of Indiana Jones. I love National Treasure.
I'm sure it would have could have been a fine movie.
(11:14):
Oh no, what's the name of that guy? I wish
he was in National Treasure? Another movie he'd fit in great. Well,
he is in Raiders of the Lost Dark Alfred Molina is. Oh, yeah,
he's in a good one. I'm sorry. Last Crusade is
a very good one. Here's something not the best. One
(11:39):
will shock you here. I've never seen in Indiana John, No,
it won't. It does not shock National Treasure probably five times,
so you don't need to see Indiana Jones exactly. That's
just think of that but better. But like what if
this is better? But I love It's something I know
and love the The plot twist in Natural Treasure is
daylight saving time. That's a great twist. I love that twist.
(12:04):
I'm so glad I brought this one because I need
to get drunk immediately. Raiders of the Lost Arc probably
is the better film, but we all can agree that
Indiana Jones on the Last Crusade is a much more
fun movie. And it wasn't really closer two. I know
it's a really fun one. It was alright anyway, So
this movie God well, to quote of Brendan Frasier's character,
(12:26):
I gotta rescue the damsel in distress, kill the bad guy,
and save the world. I love that line. I was like, boom,
nailed it, nail on the head. Brandon. I have a
lot of thoughts about Brandon Fraser. I'm sure you're not
supprised he buys into my My new theory is that
Brendan Fraser is ostensibly the rebound boyfriend of actors because
(12:53):
you do not have to take him seriously. He's fun
for two hours. The second you hit two hours, he
is not fun anymore, and you're like, I want to
go home. And that's that is. That's luckily this movie
clocks in just over two hours, but ten minutes of
that is the credits. So yeah, by a mummy, So
(13:13):
it's like, you're busy. He's got a frinding about him.
Is like I forgot how hot he was and I
was like, holy crap, he's so hot. But then by
the end of the movie you see like where you're like,
he's just something off hot, you know what I mean,
when he's wild brand hot. This whole movie is this
(13:34):
CBS brand. I like, I feel like if you called
Brendan Fraser's name, he's got the kind of eyes where
he'd like look over like a like an egrette. He'd
be like, what like an emu ostrich, what am I
thinking of? I'm thinking of a large bird. That's how
I think. I feel like Brendan Frener could lay an
egg and that's what he's been doing. Lately. I wouldn't
(13:56):
be surprised if Brendan Fraser. So this is like I
laid a night I had coldbred coffee for the first
time today. Oh, that's the last time I had cold
brew coffee. I had a panic attack. I am story.
I feel like I'm on the verge of a pan.
But let's let's ride this way. Let's write it um
and let's recap the story. We open in like ancient Egypt.
(14:19):
What years it? We don't know? Something BC something. I
don't give a funk. If it's before Christ. Yeah, not interesting.
Let's leave this out of it, Okay, just to clarify.
So in the beginning, when it's like the BC era,
and then so what's that chick? Is she like super
special or something? She's the pharaoh's mistress, mistress mistress? Where's
(14:43):
we don't know? Do we hear about the wife? I
don't think so they would talk about something together, I know,
only woden't have a conversation, just one thing, those two. Um.
But then she's having an affair with someone else. She
loves somebody else, which is this man. He's bald and
(15:06):
that's really honestly, I thought he was when I first
last movie, I thought it was Billy Zane. I was like,
that guy's that's Billy Zane. And then I rewatched it
yesterday and I was like, no, different man who looks
just like him? Before we start to get bad reviews,
we're not saying all bald men look alike. I know
that we we've got to be aware, do you know? What?
Was crazy? And I know we're still doing the plot
(15:27):
but we haven't. We've hardly begun. But how like that
at the beginning, it's like that woman is like us, basically,
like a sex slave mistress, and then she's in love
with someone and he loves her, and then yet that
person who loves her and her become the villain. It's
like they should be the good guys. Yeah, I was
(15:47):
a little bit confused about that, Like why are they
the villains? They've had a ship time, I don't know. Anyways,
forward also the after Christ the the actress who plays
the ancient Egyptian lady. Her name is Patricia Velasquez who
plays Marta on Arrested Development? Whoa which one's Marta on
(16:10):
Arrested develop She's the one that Michael is in love
with that date that's fine, yeah, I wanted them to
make it, I know not and Michael anyway, so they
they have this like clandestine relationship and the Pharaoh finds out,
so he's like, you're a bad man. I'm going to
curse you and not really though before he could curse him, oh,
(16:34):
the woman they killed him. Well, the woman stabs herself
and then they they killed the pharaoh first. I don't remember,
but saying it doesn't really it didn't even It's like,
this is a why is this movie hard to follow?
Like it shouldn't be. There's a lot of questions that
(16:55):
I feel like I would come up with the wrong plot.
And I tried really hard to pay attention to this movie.
It's a hard movie to pay attention to it. And
when I said who cares, I don't mean I didn't
mean to dismiss you. I meant to say, this movie
is stupid, who cares what happens in it? I just
wanted to clarify, right, Yeah, all my fans are going
to be really mad about it. The Georgia Heads are
coming after you. Brooks Nation. The bottom one the guy
(17:19):
becomes a mummy and then put in a tomb, and
the sarcophagus, and they mummify him while he's alive, so
he gets put in that thing when he's still alive,
which is You can tell it scary because his eyes
are like, no, yeah, this tongue, which is which is
a bad thing in the beast. How is he going
to go down on a woman? That's what they're saying. Wait, wait, air,
(17:44):
is that not how you get down a woman? Just
gentle blowing. I feel like if you had a nub
enough a tongue, you could still do it. Yeah, you
don't have to like really get in there, but yeah,
a little froggy no, you would you have to do
if you had a really little tongue. Hypothetically, I'm not
sorry I got I have a great tongue, um, but
(18:06):
if you have a little tongue, I have an average
sized tongue. I drive such a fancy hot car because
I'm compensating for my tongue, my tongue. But maybe you'd
have to And everyone at home please picture this happening
to a vagina. Spread your mouth and suction on to
(18:28):
get the tongue. Because you can't bring the tongue. The
tongue has to be brought to well anyway, so there's
a curse, he's a money or so. Then the future
comes at the past, is it n it's and then
it like goes forward more so I was guessing that
(18:50):
was around five to thirty, but the first ones in
when Brandon Fraser is still like I only watched this
movie once, you don't remember the years as is like
I'm obsessed with like Edwardian culture, which is like nineteen
nineteen ten. And then right after that and I got, really,
the one thing I really liked about this movie is
(19:10):
like the era took place in and also her fashion
her Yeah, it's she's she's a colonial gal with very
thin eyebrows. I didn't even know that was Rachel I
wrote down triggered by eyebrows, eyebrows, very distracting, no idea
that was her because she has such like rich, luxurious
eyebrows and they're so overplunched in this movie because I
(19:32):
was like the style of the time that I did
not know that was Rachel White until I looked at him.
She has she has pregnant teenager eyebrows. Those are overplugged
eyebrows are for pregnant teenagers and people who don't know
what they're doing. All the pregnant teenagers listening to the podcast.
We're not trying to put you in a box. Keep listening,
and you know, think about how your your body, your choice,
(19:54):
your but also I mean with the baby, but not
with your eyebrows. And there's no excuse for bad So
I should just I am dB this, babe, I am dB. Yeah,
I didn't fit it took I. I have been trying
to challenge myself to not google things for the second
I want to google them. No, But like when I
(20:16):
was watching the movie earlier, I was like, I'm going
to figure out who this actress is. I know her face,
but the browser distracting and I didn't get it. I
had to look it up. Well, it's she looked Hella familiar,
And by the end of the movie, I was like, oh,
I've seen her a buttload. Yeah. I think that's the
technical term, and that's the unit of measurement that I'd
like to apply. Yeah. So then he gets arrested. Yeah.
(20:39):
Brendan Fraser is like, I guess, a treasure hunter and
he like goes to this lost city, this city of
the Dead in Egypt, and there's these people who attack him,
and he's like no when he gets arrested, and then
intro Rachel Wise as Evelyn and her brother and they
worked at this like Library of Antiquities museum also in Egypt.
(21:00):
She's a scholar. I forget why she go, right because
her brother has this yeah, and I find this map. Now,
like this is the map to this city of the dead.
So they go and they find it's kind of like
to see a national treasure where they steal a constitution
and they're like, there's a map on the back and
it's a lemon juice. How did you find out? What
(21:22):
the No, that's not right. They didn't hold it under
a black light. I don't know what they did. It's
basically like national treasure, right, Okay, continue Anyway, they pair
up with Brendan Fraser and they're like, let's go to
this place. They find the city. They go inside these categories.
There's a sarcophagus and then they're like this is creepy.
And then there's these other people who are also hunting
(21:42):
for the treasure in this place. And the twenties everyone
really wanted treasure. Everyone loved treasure back then. Not so much.
Now there's like no, no, one's seeking wealth anymore. You know.
That's why I've made such a killing in the treasure business,
because it's an undersaturated profession. I like to steal old
paper and be like it's a map and then and
then go to different countries and just sunk around. You're
(22:05):
very good at that. Yeah, thank you anyway, So they
released this Mommy that's in this this tunes because she
reads from the book and she finds she didn't read
that's the list reading no thank you. She reads from
this book. It like awakens this bad mummy guy and
he keeps like sucking the life out of people until
(22:27):
he's like regenerated. And his whole thing is he wants
to be reunited with the woman and he loves what.
Oh my god, Aristotle, we got him to say something. Wait,
what did you say name right? Did you re watch
the movie recently? You just remember? Okay, you just wait?
Do you love the Mummy? Oh my god? If you
(22:51):
didn't hear him, he said he used to love it.
I don't believe how many times have you feel like
you've just been waiting to yell at You're like they're
gonna get there, They're gonna get there. That's so funny anyway,
So he wants to be a twist for us from that.
So this mommy guy wants to be reunited with his
love whose name is whatever, who cares, And then he
(23:15):
know he's like, I'm going to take this one other
lady in the story and use her is like the
vessel to try to revive my my beloved. And they're like, no,
we can't let this happen. So they have to go
find this other book that's going to kill him because
he's immortal and he can't be killed by any mortal weapons.
So they're like scrambling around and he's like unleashing all
these plagues on the city and they're like, no, how
(23:37):
do we do this? And then there's all these other
mommies who come up and attack them, and a bunch
of people die, and then finally they find the book
they need and they kill him the end and they
fall in love and right and Brandon fall in love. Yes,
who saw that coming? Rick? I love that the hero
(23:58):
of this Egyptian movie is Rick O'Connell. Sounds like a
neighbor I would have Is that the brother? Uh No,
that's Brendan Rick O'Connell. Rick O'Connell. The guy who plays Benny,
who is presumably an Egyptian character, is played by a
(24:19):
guy named Kevin O'Connor. That must probably a white guy
and probably example of Hollywood. Hollywood whitewashing. This movie is very,
very very guilty of whitewashing. If we're looking at it
in a macro way, it's, you know, three white leads
in a country of now white people. All the villains
(24:44):
are you know, the slightly brown, slightly brown we I
mean were they're just ethnically ambiguous. Well the Egyptian played
by Patricia she's Hispanic, right, yeah, I mean they were
like a anything money pigments, yeah, which uh And but
(25:05):
you know even the way that like like everyone who
lives in Egypt who is not American or British is
like they're dumb or they're violent, and we're we're here
to talk about women, but you know, we're addressing it's
hard to talk about women with this movie. We literally
have to talk about other things. I do have something
(25:25):
I would like to address. It's very serious. So the
reason we're doing this episode because there's a new Money
installment coming out starring not Brandon Fraser but Tom Cruise,
the guy who jumped on the couch. Isn't that weird?
Usually when there's a new movie and they put a
new person and they don't pick someone who's the same
(25:46):
age as the original, dude, you know what I mean?
You just didn't cast him last time. Brandon Fraser uh
is if nothing else, and he's a lot of things.
He's a class act brand. Fraser released a statement upon
not being cast in The Money reboot and being bumped
(26:07):
by Tom Cruise, and it's maybe the saddest thing. Oh God, please,
I've ever written my life. Here's what Mr Fraser had
to say. Quote. I am flattered as Tom Cruise is
a really big movie star. There are many movies made
before the one that I was lucky to be a
part of, which, speaking in the sense of you know,
history of time, a lot of movies. I am certain
(26:29):
this one will be unique. I have met Tom before
and he is a nice guy. He will be great,
and the film will be exciting, and get your tissues out.
I will buy the ticket to watch it on the
opening day. Imagine if Brendan Fraser had to pay for
a ticket to the Mummy. I think we should start
(26:50):
a Kickstarter get him a therapy dog and a free
ticket to the Mummy because this because Homeboy is is
torn up. He's torn up about it. It's just sad
because it's like he could use it, you know, he
could use it, and he shines. I enjoyed him in
Luny Tunes back in Action in two thousand three. What's
(27:10):
that movie he's in, Um Georgia the Jungle. Yeah, yeah,
I want to see a reboot that you're in called
Georgia of the jung So does everybody here that Hollywood?
But yeah, let's talk about Evelyn, who I did not.
I didn't even know her name until halfway through the movie. Yeah, same,
(27:30):
because I was like, oh, Evelyn is a great name.
I remembered Evie because I was like, that's a Pokemon.
Let's just from the top her. The way she's introduced.
What a goof right, she's putting books away in her library.
What a weird introduction to this character. Yeah, because it
doesn't even she never looks that way again, Like she
(27:52):
had glasses on maybe or something. She looked like a
super nerd and then that was the end of that.
And she's like super clumsy because like she's on this
ladder trying to put these books away, and then the
ladder like somehow becomes suspended upright, and gravity stops existing
for thirty seconds or so, and she's like kind of
balancing on this ladder and she's almost like they're still,
(28:16):
and then she finally tips over and knocks like twenty
bookcases down dominoes. And then this mean guy comes in.
He's like, you fix this, you fix it. He's like,
why are you Why do I even hire you? Yeah,
you suck. And she does stand up for herself and
she's like, because I can read ancient in Egypt, I
know what hi, your rhoglyphics are and the most that's
(28:39):
the way exactly what she says. Well, I mean it's
like the most expository dialogue ever. I went to college,
and I know the pictures they made inside the triangles
and and the guys like, you know what actually is?
Because your parents have a lot of money? Did he
say that to blame us? Girl? What do you know
(29:03):
about misery? Hey? Titanic check the guy who plays Mr.
Is may Is in this movie and the guy who
plays another character whose name that scene with violent swimming
that I was like, oh no, because they go overboard. Yeah,
there's that. And the guy who plays Captain Winston have
(29:25):
Lock who like pilots their playing back to the city.
Guy who says famous character cath I cosplayed in him.
He plays the guy in Titanic who after Jack like
saves Rose on the back of the ship. And then
everyone's like did he save her or was he trying
to rape er? We don't know? And then he's like, no,
I saved her. And he's like, well, the boy's a hero.
(29:47):
Then that guy that's a deep cut yes, yes, yes, yeah, yeah,
you're right there. And then yeah, Mrs May plays on Chamberlain.
He end doesn't He the guy from Titanic and from
this movie. He's also the bad guy in Jamani. Oh sorry,
(30:12):
there's a movie coming out with Kevin Harrison. I think
it's Kevin Harden. What's his name? The Rock? Okay, I'm back.
We I mean, story plot wise, we have not yet
gotten to the part with Britain Frasher in a cage
because I've been waiting. Oh, we just jumped right over
that arrested for a reason that I can't decipher. I'm
(30:37):
not sure. Then he almost gets hung. He's indicage. He
looks exactly like he looked well Georgia the younger. Yes,
I'm like, is that how long has he been in
the jail? We don't know. Um, we were I was
talking about how how Ellen's character is introduced. Yeah, we
haven't talked about her brother yet. Remember how her brother
(30:57):
is introduced when she comes like in to the room
and then he pretends to be like a skeleton mummy,
like such a shitty brother move. And I originally thought
it was going to go in the direction of, like,
this is her husband and like or her fiance. I
thought it was going to be somebody who liked her,
who was a ship bag, you know what I mean.
And then I'm glad it ended up being her brother too,
(31:20):
because when we got to like we're like, oh whatever,
I just want to love story to be able to happen,
and I don't want anything to get in the way
of that. Like I like that it was just her brother,
so that heat there was nothing getting in the way
of her and whatever his name is that theirs sure,
but it's like there wasn't like a she gets mad
at him because that guy told a lie, and it's like,
fucking forget. I just want everyone to like be in love.
(31:41):
I don't want any external opposing forces. Egypt is enough
too close to Yeah, I mean Egypt. We're already in
the trenches. There in the trenches. Let's talk about how
after she and her brother are introduced, they go to
the cage that Brandon Fraser is hanging out in because
(32:02):
he's been arrested for whatever reason, rashing around, Right, how
long has he been in there? Because he is effectively feral.
When he bursts into that cage, he's like like, he's
like screaming, I don't rashing around kissing him. It wouldn't
take that long to be come like that in a
jail cell I don't, probably not, especially if you're untethered
(32:24):
as Brendan Fraser. But that's what I wanted to talk about.
He just like he's like, come your closer, I gotta
tell you something. And then he kisses her and we're
like but she seems fine with it, which is like, well,
she liked it, but she's like I didn't like it.
She's ritten by a man who also read the g I.
Joe movies. Just keep things in perspective. Well, I was like, Okay,
(32:45):
why did that happen? Why didn't anyone make that choice?
And then she does like kind of push back a
little bit. She's like, how dare you? And then she
keeps She's like, you have bad manners and why why
did you kiss me? And he's like, I was about
to be hanged. It seemed like a good idea at
the time. And then then pulls out a gun. Okay,
(33:06):
I know you have a lot of He pulls out
a gun. Well, he like slam after he says that
line about like just I was in a cage, so
you pretty much do every want a cage? Like, he
slaps down all of his artillery in front of her,
and I'm just like, this is a weird choice. Also,
before he meets Evie and even before he kisses her,
(33:29):
he calls her abroad. Yeah, like she'll do it, that's
actually historical for a fourth she'll do for a fourth kiss.
I'm George of the Jungle. Also Brendon Fraser controversy. All
the Fraser heads out there, let me know what you think.
I don't remember if Brendan Fraser has an auty belly
(33:50):
button or if the guy in George of the Jungle
too has an autie belly button. One of them has
an autie belly button. I hope it's Brendan because I
have an Audie. The audie community as very oppressed, especially
in Hollywood, and is it even safe to say that
on their don't even maybe ended this audi and prouty
(34:11):
is what I'm saying. Brand it's Brandon Frazer. I'm gonna
look up as tummy pressure ebbs. So, first of all,
whenever you kiss someone without their permission, technically it's sexual assault.
So that happened. And then there's this story beat where
(34:33):
she's like kind of swooning over it. She's like in
her when she's no Like before that, she's like she's
in her room on the boat because they're heading towards
this City of the Dead, and she's like trying to
read and she's like so hot and bothered. And then
she's like, oh, come on, girl, what wasn't even that
good of a kiss? Like clearly she's apparently thinking about
(34:55):
this kiss, but we saw the kiss and we know
it wasn't that good, so she must be in love. Yeah,
well that's not okay, You're right, I hear you, especially
because that I was like, oh, yeah, this is so weird.
Because it's always unacceptable obviously, but if a villain character
had done that, I'd be like, oh, we're supposed to
know he's a bad guy. He doesn't respect one. This
(35:16):
is the hero of the movie, right, who pretty much
in our introduction, Farrell Fraser bursts out, you know, he's
foaming or whatever, and then and then he immediately assaults
a man with his fist and then a woman with
his mouth, and it's just it's just like, oh, yeah,
(35:36):
just buy rules, can't wait to go on the roller coaster,
like it's just weird. Well, and then there a couple
of minutes after that, whenever there there's this like public
hanging ceremony where he's about to be hung. She's trying
to barter with this guy who's like in charge of
hanging him, I guess. And then she's like, I'll pay
you a hundred pounds and he's like, no, I'm a
(35:57):
lonely man. What else can you give? And he puts
his hand on her knee, and so she was assaulted
twice in a row, but she does she doesn't, and
then she laps his hand and then the whole crowd laughs,
proving that women are funny. This is pretty cool. It was,
(36:19):
and it is kind of cool that she saves him,
like a rolls or reverse, that woman saves the man.
She's a good with some exception like getting too horny
to read a book. Who hasn't I'm like, I could
think of an example of maybe a time that that
has happened to me. But she's a pretty good character.
(36:39):
But this is I think like symptomatic of blockbusters of
you know, Princess Leia, because we see Evie in a
very LAist style sex prison where she's like chained to
the sarcophagus brand and all that, and it's like, we
have one solid female protagonist and the main problem is
a all the male characters and be there's one for
(37:00):
her to talk to, which I feel like it's a
problem We've come up on this podcast again and again again. Yeah,
it's like they had she had no chance there. She
only could talk to those dudes because there was just
no And also like, but to be fair, she chose
that life of adventure and most women don't do that.
But at one point she's like, I'm not an adventurer.
I'm a librarian. I'm just like okay, cool, and then
(37:22):
she passes out on him, and he doesn't. He knows
that passed out means no, And I think that's really great.
Who drunk the sand means well? And that's a great
message for young men like Aristotle who are watching at
the time. Yeah, because he kisses the air because she's like,
I'm gonna kiss you, and then she passes out and
(37:42):
then and so he just like he kisses the air
because you knows he can't kiss her. Great, even more
assault than he's already assaulted her. Well, what happened. What
they were trying to show is that he was like
the bad boy and then she kind of like made
him a good boy. She fixed him. She fixed him.
I think that that's impressive because I this is not
(38:05):
a protagonist that jumped out to me as I could
fix him, and I think I could fix almost everybody. Brendan,
he's a wild I wouldn't want to leash that Bengal tiger,
you know what I mean. She also wasn't trying to
fix him. It just happened, do you know what I mean?
She was very busy and very excited about all of
the history around her, and she wasn't even trying to
She was horny for history. She was horny for history
(38:27):
and he was He was horny adjacent. She was like
no woman he's ever met. Now I'm putting plotlines in that. Well,
we don't even know if he's ever met a woman before.
We've never seen him in a scene with another woman.
She could be his first woman that he's met. Maybe
now there's a movie, let's talk about it. I'm thinking
(38:49):
Ricky Gervais for the lead. I wanted to talk a
little bit about the scene on the boat where one
while she does save Brendan Fraser from being hanged, then
he has to go and save her because he's bad.
Guys on the boat who are like the guardians of
the exact who they were lost city. Okay, they're just
(39:10):
trying to keep that money in right, I think. Cool. Yeah,
So they come in attack and she gets saved by
Brandon and then he's like he picks her up, throws
her into the water. What ocean would that have been.
I don't think it was an ocean. I think it
was the Nile. That's when my mom went swimming in
(39:33):
the Nile. Really, that's cool. It's go on an expedition
and dig up some bones. That's what I call sex
going on an expedition. Wow, it sounds like you're doing phones.
But then I actually, I'm sorry, I'm not digging them up.
I'm burying those bones. If you catch your sting men
(39:55):
and burying their penises, I got it with my vagina
with your whoa, So you're vagina is the dog? Like, okay,
I think I was thinking if you're a vagina is
the shovel. Oh yeah, I guess So you know what's
interesting about this movie? So he keeps saving her with
her his muscles, and she keeps saving him with her
wit and knowledge. Perfect exchange between them is one of
(40:20):
my favorites where Brendan Frascher's character is insistent on being
a fucking weird idiot, where she goes, you know your history,
and he says, I know my treasures to double down
and like, I'm a fucking idiot. I'm not smart, which
I appreciate. I love it when a man's like, guess what,
I'm not smart. Yeah, I'm stupid, and it's like, you know,
(40:43):
usually you're right. That brings me to the scene whenever
they're trying to haggle with the guy who's selling them
camels and like no, we only went Flora camels. And
then Brendan Frascher's like, well, we could have gotten them
for free. All you needed to do was give them
your sister, suggesting that Jonathan should have sold Lynn. I
think at the camel, I think even worse than that
(41:03):
that it was just Brennan making a joke, which is
even worse. You don't even like I don't even think
he was real about that, but he was just like, like,
I hate when dudes make jokes. Are bad at cond
They're so bad at a great at comedy. Men are bad.
I hate you're just the fact. I hate to come
to Brendon's defense, but what a compliment to be worth
(41:25):
four whole camel? I mean like most men would be like, oh,
you know, like on the Camel rating system, fourth pretty
high if you're like using the humps as measurement, like,
but women have a bunch of humps. If we remember
from that, what a great album? Check it out? Then
(41:52):
you can't see that laugh anyway, Yes, true, Jimmy, camels
are each of us worth. I'm a four camel girl.
Trust me. I've been with men who have tried to
sell me for our camels and He's like, I'll take
no four cigarettes. I'll take the lesson four cigarettes or
this one not even speaking in cartons, like my girlfriend,
(42:18):
if you give me four cigarettes, she's your girlfriend. Now.
I would never date a smoker. Okay I did once
actually get mean, not just smoke shame everyone. We're gonna
get some emails about this. You guys are smoke shamers.
And this is a really nice shirt that my only
smoker boyfriend got me. Worth it? What is it? White
men can't jump? Wit men can't jump? Cool? Yeah, I've
(42:39):
never seen that movie. It's good. It's good. It's a
good movie. Check it out. He also gave me the
chicken d I'll link you to his Facebook profile. You ye,
shout out. As long as we're talking about boys still,
I think the podcast is going great. The next thing
I wanted to bring up was Mr. Is Me, who's
real actor's name we don't know, but we know him
(43:01):
as Mrs May from Titanic. He's sort of with this
other group of Americans, Americans. They're the Americans. Right off,
I was just saying a line from Titanic. I heard
it at the end of the first VHS, one of
our favorite lines of course, and he is referring to
Brendan and friends, and he's like, they're led by a woman.
(43:23):
What is a woman now, which is obviously to like
show that like, we're not rooting for these guys. They're
they're bad and they say horrible things like that, and
they're wrong. They're wrong because in the next scene, Evelyn
says she's basically rattling off all the things she knows
about hieroglyphs and the legends and mythology. Everybody knows treasurer
(43:47):
but she knows history knowledge, but they doesn't know ed.
But so the problem is, like he like, they're led
by a woman. What does a woman know? And then
in a few scenes later, Brendan Fetchers like he's talking
to Evelyn and he's like, why are you here? Yeah,
(44:09):
so it's like, um, because she's helping your expedition, you
motherfucker well, And she does, I mean almost at every
opportunity she has to stand up for herself, and he
does stand up for herself, which is why I think
she's a good character. She's always advocating for how smart
she really does seem to be, even though it's not
plot relevant very often. And she also is like, do
(44:31):
you think she's a suffragette. It's around that time. I
don't think she thinks she has the right to vote,
and it's a damn shame. So while her her strength
is knowledge and she knows a lot about history, specifically
ancient Egyptian history, but she seems to have some huge
blind spots in her knowledge because she doesn't because she
(44:52):
doesn't know enough to not read from a book called
the Book of the Dead. She was too, because that's
what awakens the mummy. I like that you have known that.
I mean she doesn't believe in things she can't see.
She said, that's true, anything would come up. She wasn't
(45:13):
super It's weird because she is superstitious at certain parts
of the movie, and then another part she's like, I
don't believe it, and yeah, like she she's like, no,
there's rumors that this city is trial. She says in
the beginning, She's like, if I don't see, I don't
believe it. And it's like Eve, one must pick. But
the scene where she steals the book I loved because
(45:33):
she steals it from this guy who's like drunk, he
passes out. She takes is that Mrs Name oh god,
I think he made it his headlines thank you, that
was for you. And then she brings it over to
Brendan and Brendan's like, it seems like he's joking. He's like,
don't read the monk. Don't. They're flirting, right, but then
(45:55):
once she reads it and something bad happens, He's like,
I told you not to read the book. Like you
were flirting with her, you would have read it if
you could read. He was he was being manipulative. He's like, hey,
I don't she I told her. I told her not
to read the book. And she's like I'm sorry. And
then and then Mr is May is like in the
(46:15):
right even though he's like the dumb alcoholic where he's like,
we told her not to read the book. I feel
like every dumb man in the scene ends up being right,
and that's frustrating. I feel like there's a lot of
like in this movie, characters who should are the bad guys,
but then they're the good guys, and then they're the
bad guys. Like I feel like there's a lot of mix. Yeah,
fid you know more like real life? This is like
(46:38):
what did he eat? The documentary? Because we're like chef
salad next in there. What do you guys think happens
in the Mummy Returns? I think he comes back. Have
you seen it? Do you know? Only did he nod?
He like gave this like stupid moment. You bitches haven't
(47:00):
seen the Mummy Returns? Uh? Well, I don't know. I
mean we're using for a yardstick of a movie. I
have seen the return of Jaffar. Jaffar returns in that one,
so one might assume the Mommy returns that Jafar returns.
Then I used to have a crush on Jaffar. Jaffar
(47:24):
is hot, the which animals, Jaffar the evil, the evil brother. Uncle,
who's from? You have said every Disney movie? That's not
a lab far right? He is he the parrot? No,
(47:47):
he's the good cat right, that's Oh, it's the bad guy. Yes. Oh,
I don't know why I thought it was ana. I
think we should start a podcast about straight to video sequels.
You guys should do like mini shows that are just
sequels and you don't have a guest. Maybe m It's
(48:09):
not a bad idea. I claimed the copyright for them,
but you guys can have it, but just always give
me credit. Credit at the top. The director of the Mummy,
Stephen Summers, has an impressive resume if you were an
aggro white dude who wants to be leading a movie.
He wrote, wrote, he wrote and did the Mummy Good
(48:32):
for him here, and he also wrote The Mummy Returns
Juries out on what Happened. He also wrote Revenge of
the Mummy, The Ride. He wrote the roller Coaster video
Road the roller Coaster too. I bet he is on
the rolle riding the roller coaster that one when that
would make sense, know that if it's like the Mummy,
(48:53):
there's fire and a jump scare and then you go
backwards like there's like a a grama Brendan Fraser at
the end of Fraser comes at the end and says,
unbuckle your seat, exactly what sex with Me is like.
And then he wrote The Mummy, Tomb of the Dragon Emperor,
and then he also wrote G I Joe, The Rise
of Cobra. Okay, he mixed it up there and Van
(49:15):
helsing that really bad one. The next thing I wanted
to talk about was I'm here to keep it. It's
not even irrelevant thing. I know. I'm not. I'm not.
I'm good I'm doing good, you're doing great. Okay. What scene.
So it's after they've unleashed the Mummy. They go back
to the city I think Cairo maybe, yeah, probably a
(49:38):
good bet. And they're in a hotel, I think, and
they're like, all right, we're gonna have to go back
because we really suck this up. We're gonna have to
go fix it. Brendan Fraser does not want Evelyn to
go along, so he picks her up and then he
throws her on a bed and then he locks her
in a room. And to be fair, she's very she's
very angry about it, and she's fighting back. She's like,
(49:58):
I can't know, I want to go with you, guys,
don't don't leave me here. But it was just like,
come on, Brendon, do you don't have to pick her
up and hurl her across the room? He had he
had to her. There are so many scraps that gets
into in this movie. If someone would just let her
hold a gun. She never holds a gun. Does she
(50:19):
ever hold agun? There's a scene where they're in like
they're like around the campfire and like a noise happened.
So he's like, hold this and he shoves the rifle
in her hands, but then he comes back and gets it.
In most scenes, Brendan Fraser has two guns. He's not
a pouch full of weapons. Wait and talk about your
gun theory. So I have not a theory. These are
(50:40):
fats um. So I started counting the number of times
where there's a scene in the movie where a character
either pulls out a gun or the scene starts and
guns are already drawn or are being fired. And this
this is just scenes. So it's like, not even the
number of times this happens. This is just scenes where
this happens in. Within a scene, it could happen. I
(51:01):
feel like they put them away and they're like, actually
gonna come come back out again. So this is strictly
just the scenes that this happens in. It is I
counted twenty one scenes in the movie where characters like, hey,
it's been seven seconds since I've drawn a gun. Better
do it again. There's only eight scenes in this movie.
The joke is that weapons don't kill the mommy, So
(51:23):
what the funk? Exactly that's true. They only kill each
other with a weapon. Man, It's like once a gun
is used to shoot a scare beetle once it's used
to shoot the mirrors, to just tilt the mirror so
that the light they like the reflections, so like guns
are used. The thing that really bummed me out about
(51:48):
Evie was I was on her side. There were shitty
she was being assaulted all the time, but at least
she had a character. She had a set of skills
and knowledge and like she was a capable female protagonist
until like the last half hour where she's pretty effectively
taken out of action, until at the end of the
(52:09):
movie where she's like this is where like the Damsel
in Distress line comes in, where she's taken by the
bald guy a k a. The Mommy them. Oh yeah,
the mommy poor Man's Billy Zane. This is called the
bald guy. And then the bald guy returns, not to
be confused with the bald women rule the bald Guy
(52:31):
to the Dragon Emperor. Right cool, because she's like strapped
to a slab. She's like in Princess Leah, like she's
put in a hot outfit and restrained. Where was that from?
A right? I wish she had underneath? Oh yeah, it's
like did he just They're like, we've got some we've
(52:51):
got a wardrobe in this pyramid like there because it
fits just so, but that that sucks. Like watching basically
the whole bimactic scene where she's literally in the center
of the screen beside a dead woman, beside a dead
woman changed the first thing able to participate ever seen
two women together one is dead money. And then Brendan Fraser,
(53:15):
who I cannot imagine was trained in any way for
these fights because he just seems to be you know,
flailin flailin Fraser, just lunging at probably like tennis balls
on sticks that weren't real c g I mummies yet
and he's like, uh, um, he did kind of help
(53:36):
save the thing because her dumb, dumb brother couldn't read
the thing. She was trying to tell him, does it
look like a bird a stork? And then she's like, oh,
it's this word and then true. But she is in
that moment still pretty helplessive and helpless. Um, but I
did at least she was doing. I wrote that down too,
and like, well, at least she participated. She wasn't like
(53:59):
forgetting all of her skill set for you know what
I mean, Like when they're just like Negate the fact
that she has any skills whatsoever for the sake of
damsel in distress. Yeah, she does have skills. I just
hate that that they like like she should have saved him.
That should have been the twist. Well because at the
end I and he had like one hand free, and
(54:19):
you know in that skeleton, mummy hand grabs something and
then grabs the mummy hand. And I thought that she
was going to do like the final blow and would
get the mommy, But she doesn't, write Brendan Fraser takes
a dead person's hand and does it trigger. I mean, overall,
the men in the story, which is of them, are
(54:43):
overall consumed by greed and they mostly resort to violence,
whereas the one woman character who we see generally has
integrity and she provides a lot of information that's necessary
for the progression of the story. And she is kind
of active, and I mean like different things she does
or different bits of information that she says, let's the
(55:06):
story move forward. She participates. She participates. Wow, we really lowered.
You know, it could be better, it could be worse.
She doesn't have one of those moments that I always
talked about in Hate and Summer Blockbusters where the one
female protagonist does something and goes told, you boys, look
like I just kicked something really hard and it broke.
(55:28):
And then they're like, oh, we're so areny, Like so
that was good. She just did what she was good
at and no one was like, oh that, although there
is a moment where um, this is after the Mummy
has like captured her and taken her and like he's
bringing her back to the City of the Dead, and
the Mummy is like making this big sandstorm and the
(55:49):
plane flying into it, and the ball guys always be
making sandstorms, and the sandstorm is like overcoming the plane
that there are all in that, like Brendan Fraser and
all those guys are in and she's like, oh my god,
they're about to die. She's you're going to kill them.
So to distract the Mummy, she goes up to him
and it's like, oh, she about to punch him. She's
(56:10):
about to kick him in the balls, like to make
him lose his concentration. Instead, she kisses him, which like,
I have conflicting feelings about because on one hand, I'm like, yes,
I too. Whenever I can try to use my sexuality
to confuse and distract men, but that's not like were
you taught that from movies like The Mommy. Probably I
(56:31):
would have rather. I would have rather she had gone
up to him and like punched him in the face
or punched him in the dick. But she's really adds
that's what she's Fraser did. She's doing a kiss is
a stun gun, right, Yeah, she's she learned that assault
trick from her so she can beat Then she and
(56:55):
Brendan Fraser do share a consensual kiss at the very end,
little bit too long for me, I mean, and for
her brother. He was in having a right because then
he's like, maybe I should kiss this camel, which I
think would have been a really groundbreaking moment for cinema.
Hat he kissed the camel? Are right? Yeah, totally, especially
if that camel was a dude, which is what he
(57:16):
wanted to Yeah, that was implied. I really hate that.
I mean, it's like, why don't you just be gay
and not make this a thing very heteronormative movie. It's
like it's like Michelle and Gilmore Girls the original run.
It's like, let's just say I know, because it's just
like it's after a while if you have a gay
(57:38):
character in the mix long enough and don't say it.
It almost becomes worse, like we're just totally everyone else
is fucking right and left. Like, let's acknowledge this character. Clearly,
they're always hot. Let's let him fuck totally. Thank god
he found his partner. Yes, Frederick, I have nothing to
contribute to this conversations. I've not seen that show. I
(58:02):
love that so much. It's mye of the Indiana Jones movies.
I was too busy watching Gilmore Girls, probably almost as
many times as I've seen The Drinks. Okay, I have
a question about the Bechdel tests in this movie. Tying
all the themes together, does this movie actually pass the
beck Del test? Because the two women fought each other
(58:25):
for quite a long time in the tomb. I don't
know how. I don't know if they even exchange one word,
but they were certainly fighting, and it wasn't over a man.
It was about being alive. Well, they're interacting, but because
they're not speaking, pass there at least there are two
I mean, congratulations to this movie for having two women
in the same scene, but yeah, that's all we get
(58:46):
out of this one. So no, it doesn't pass the test.
I would say that it does not what's going on?
What being weird? Yeah? Oh, I think you're being fine,
But I guess I don't hang out with you as much.
Even though that said, I keep trying to hang out.
I keep texting and you're like, I'm busy. Sorry. I
love how Canadian your story. I wasn't going to point
(59:09):
it out. What I appreciate weird? Okay, actually, okay, So
let's just because I thought maybe it passed the Bechdel
test because she fought with the female money and that
was quite a long time, and that wasn't over a boy.
But well, words are not exchanged, which is one of
the caveats of the Backdel tests. I mean, they got
(59:31):
so closely, just forgot to write lines. Maybe there was
some dialogue and it just ended up on the cutting
room floor, but that was the only opportunity. There was
literally no other women in the movie, not even extra
don't even in the crowded scenes. One of those weird
Hollywood movies where it's like women don't exist here. Evie
is Smurfette, and we don't know, we don't know how
(59:54):
this world came to exist. Yeah, right, it's crazy. How
did they repopulate are a worms? No, do you think
passes the vital test? I would guess not, just to
talk to the mom. Oh no, I don't think Aladdin does.
(01:00:19):
Aladdin doesn't. I don't because she's the only girl, right,
except for like women in the streets, the ones who
are so horny for Aladdin. They're like pushing their tips
together and they're like, yeah, but those are just creations
of the genie. Those aren't even real women creation. Man,
do you think that on the roller coaster of the
(01:00:41):
Return of the Money there it passes the Bechtel tests?
Like women on that roller coaster talking about there's no
one in on the roller coaster. Except if we were
on the roller coaster doing a live podcast, which, hey,
let's do it. That roller coaster could pass the vital
test if we were not talking about if we weren't
gossiping about boys on the money roller coaster. Let's talk
(01:01:02):
about politics, a female politicians. I know that history is
not science, technology or mathematics or whatever the E stands
for women's STEM, but I want to I'm going to
give it to her. I think that Evie is a
woman in stem because like for her, she said, well,
she's a woman in well, yeah, she's a woman in
like sheem but she's history but isn't isn't like anthropology
(01:01:28):
a type of science, like a social science, archeology and
any social science. Yes, so it counts. Yeah, well done,
totally team effort. I was a doubter, but now I'm
a believer. Yeah. Does anyone have any final thoughts about
the movie that they want to share? I loved the
Return of Jaffar. Was a really fun movie. Unfortunately doesn't
(01:01:49):
pass the Backtel test. But in conclusion, Farrell Fraser ruled,
I love Brendan Fraser. I don't love Rick O'Connell. No
he's not. Oh my god, he started. It's not his
best character for sure. No, No, he's got other characters.
(01:02:14):
Drive to the Jungle. He was a movie called like
Bedazzled or something, but like, is that what it's called? Yeah, uh,
let's write the movie. I don't know out of what.
Oh well, we have a very prestigious and you know
it's prestigious when you pronounce it prestigious. A very prestigious
(01:02:35):
rating scale on a zero to five nipple scale. Oh right, right, right,
right now, you've listened to an episode. Sorry, um, so
we rate the movie based on its portrayal of women
on the nipple scale. I will go first, I will
give it a two because Evelyn, just isolating her is
(01:02:56):
not a terrible character. I don't especially like her. I'm
ever going to be like, oh, my favorite character Evelyn
or anything like that. She does contribute to this story
generally pretty minimally. But she is probably the smartest character,
definitely the most knowledgeable about the things that are happening
in the movie and the history that's relevant to the
(01:03:17):
story and everything like that. But she like she keeps
being tossed around by men. She's being antagonized by men
a lot of the time. She has to be saved
a bunch of times, although she does save Brendan Fraser
a couple of times. But overall, because she's like the
only woman that has any substantial screen time whatsoever, it's
just not great, Like let's see more women, Let's give
(01:03:39):
her more women. Let's I don't know, also, like give
her maybe a more cathartic moment at the end, like
something like a big like oh, I need to last
minutes of the movie kill Yeah. So because of that,
um yeah, two nipples. They both belong to the young
lady at the beginning, the mistress, because I don't know
(01:04:00):
if you can see her nipples or not, but somebody, someone,
someone out there, someone has someone, someone's probably joke saw
those nips. I'll give it to nipples as well. You
pretty much said everything I thought about e V. She's again,
as with all summer blockbusters, she's a fine character. There's
just no one for her to talk to, and she's
(01:04:22):
assaulted several times, which I think is a pretty consistent
feature in blockbusters to this day. I'm going to give
my nipples to Farrell Fraser when he's wilder than they're
probably frothing those nipples there, they're okay, listen, these nips
are foamy. I give it to foamy nips. I'm gonna
(01:04:46):
give it. I honestly, I'm just gonna give it one
nip because a movie. I didn't like the movie, and UM,
sorry that we made you watch it. It's not your fault.
I said I would do it, and I did it,
and and I'm giving one nipple simply for the outfits. Um,
and I guess I'll give it to the Mummy because
(01:05:08):
he's taken body parts anyways. So yeah, it was how
many Nipsey hasn't Yeah, I just get he can go
in his collection. He's like ed guyne Georgia. I would
just say I would love if this was the point
in the podcast where you're like, actually, I think I
watched Georgia everything. Oh man, I watched Return of Your
(01:05:32):
Far georg watched Georgia the Jungle. Caitlin did watch The Mommy,
which is good, Thank God, thank and Aristotle. Aristotle how
much he loved was shouted literally the highlight of the plot,
and there was a lot of highlights. Yeah, I've had
a great time here today. The best time this is
(01:05:55):
going in the Hall of Fame. This podcast gets five
nipples because that's the amount of nipples we gave it.
You have another thing also, The Mommy returns gave us
the gift of doing the rock Johnson. That's true. That
was his breakout role, was it? Yeah? Oh right, he
was like a pharaoh, a pharaoh Scorpi king. Wait, that
(01:06:15):
wasn't even Summer also wrote and directed. So this podcast
gets five nipples. There's five nipples at this table. I
only have one, so it's all good. I lost to
pull the frost bite to froth by it. Oh yeah,
(01:06:35):
cracked myself up well known a few weeks if that
was actually funny or not, it was. I'm drunk off
of this plastic now. You know. We are on your
boozy news. We get so wasted so quick. Well hey,
(01:06:56):
speaking of that, let's first of all, Georgian, thank you
so much for being here, right, absolutely pleasure, Thank you
for having me. Where can people find you online? Um,
Georgia Brooks dot com. It's my homepage. Great and um
I'm also at Georgia Brooks on all the things. And
(01:07:18):
are you still laughing at frost? Is it frost or
did you think my audition was funny? I'm laughing because
you said frost bite. Thank god? Thank I mean, like,
I couldn't have done it without you. It's true, it's
jam was so funny, but then you it. It's like
(01:07:41):
yes and ended is please come see our improv team,
the Return of Jafar. Yeah, it's full of lions. It's
basically the like our team is called the Return of Jaffar,
but we just show up and we watched The Lion King. Absolutely,
oh my god. Okay, So your website um oh yeah,
(01:08:01):
and then download your booze your news. It's with me
and Blake Wexler and Stephen Ray Morris is our producer,
but he's like on it all the time, talking and
we get really drunk and then we do the news
and I listened to it. It's very funny. It's such
a depressing time right now. It's literally the only thing
I'm doing right now that I'm proud of. Wow. Yeah,
(01:08:23):
listen to that. Follow that and and follow my cat,
follow your Cato spins Joe Joe underscore Sphinx because he's
got no fur and he's got a sister named Sage.
I'm hooked. Yeah, I'm gonna follow right now. Please do.
It's so worth your time. Well, I think we're gonna
come away from this better people deaf Yeah, okay, Bud,
(01:08:48):
I'm great. Georgia, thanks again. We'll have you back. This
has been a blast. And m hey bye bye bye
On the Doll Cast, the questions asked if movies have
women in them, are all their discussions just boyfriends and husbands,
or do they have individualism the patriarchy? Zef and best
start changing it with the beck Del Cast. Hi, Welcome
to the beck Doell Cast. My name is Jamie, my
name is Caitlin, and this is our podcast about how
(00:20):
women are portrayed in movies. And uh, we use the
Bechdel test, which let's lay it out for you. It's
based on test invented by author Alison Bechdel. It is
a test that you have to put up, Oh God, okay,
I'm doing so well. Uh, there has to be a
(00:42):
scene in the thing you're watching that has two women
in it, preferably with names. We say, with names, with names, assertive, okay,
and they are talking about something that is not a man.
That's all it takes. That's all it takes. But wouldn't
you know what A lot of movies don't us the
Bectel test. Uh, it's yeah, no, yeah, it's it's too bad.
(01:05):
It's a damn shame. It's a goddamn shame. It's a
goddamn shame. However, it's the world we live in and
I'm okay, how are you. I'm doing pretty well. I'm
about to crack open a small bottle of chardonnay. I
didn't have time, not just any Oh no, I'm sorry. Well,
I'll be the drunk one on this episode. Uh, it's
not just any schardon ay, it's Crane Lake chardon ay
(01:28):
and it comes in a plastic bottle. I'm sorry. As
someone who's drank whine out of plastic bottles plenty of times.
What's wrong with that? There's nothing wrong with that. I
just wanted to, you know, I wanted to seem relatable.
You know, I'm not one of these fancy glass bottle
drinking Caitlin's usually drinking out of a glass bottle while
(01:48):
I'm drinking my Mike's hard trying to trying to keep
it real Hollywood to eat, you're out in another It's
just not today. I'm I'm with the the proletariat class
with my plastic bottle that I will recycle. Yeah, welcome back,
Welcome back to her anyway. So we talked about movies,
(02:09):
specifically about the portrayal of women in the movies, and
we have a guest every episode. Today is no different. No,
nor will it ever be. I'm excited yesterday. She has
her own podcast, whoa what does? She called Your Booze
Your News, where she and her co host get very
drunk and then say the news and it's a lot
(02:29):
of fun. And she's a comedian and she's very funny.
Georgia Brooks, Hi, Hi, thanks for being here. Oh my god,
thanks for having me. I can't wait to talk about
boys together. That's what we're doing, right, talk about boys.
Who do you have a crush on? Oh my god?
And I don't even want to talk about right now.
I have a rough week. And if you're going to
(02:52):
talk about your rough week here, we're going to have
to change the subject to boys, right. Sorry, um, sorry,
this is this podcast? Oh never Well Exchangers Past the
backdult Test. Yeah, well, that's like our intro basically of Hi,
I'm Jamie. Hi, I'm Caitlin. We did it. We have names.
We're not that we're talking about women, we're talking to
(03:14):
about ourselves. Really, I'm Caitlin, I'm Jamie. Very self involved
for talking about the movie. So it's like the whole
podcast past. Although sometimes we do spend a lot of
time talking about Alfred Molina. That's me. We got an
audible aris, donta laugh. I think Alfred Molina actually okay
to transition into the movie we're talking about today. I'm
(03:37):
surprised Alfred Molina was not in this movie. I think
that this he would have been a good fit. I
love seeing Alfred Molina in a vest. This is a
very vest heavy movie. I love seeing Alfred Molina playing
too type, not against type. I don't like to see
him challenge himself googling who you're talking about by the
(03:58):
Oh my gosh, he's the beef kick. Oh my god,
I just saw him in an episode of Shetland. Really yeah,
I need to watch it. I think that I need
to like lock myself in my home and watch everything
he's ever been in and uh and come out a
new person, come out of Guru. But Alfremlea unfortunately is
not in this movie. But it seems like he could
(04:19):
be totally he would be a great fit. So glad
I looked it up so I could talk he aesthetically.
Now I'm thinking about he aesthetically works very well for
can we say it the Mommy Fraser that one the
roller coaster movie. Yes, if you've ever been to Universal Studios.
(04:40):
Can I just say I like, told my boyfriend was like,
I gotta watch Georgia the Jungle this week and then
time is later, and message him being like, I meant
the mommymy totally alright. Because Brendan Frasers in Georgia the Jungle,
I think that's not Georgia the Jungle too. I got confused.
(05:02):
There's someone who is just as handsome and mad as him.
Did you know that Alfred Moina is a series regular
in Angi Tribecca. No I did not. I didn't either.
I haven't seen Untili Tribeca. Now I'm gonna watch it.
I mean I knew he was on Feudecca if we could,
I honestly wouldn't mind if we if we talked about
(05:23):
boys the whole time. I love talking about boys, especially
when boys are Alfredia. Also, can I say, like, I
know this is controversial, but Brandon Fraser rewatching the movie,
and by rewatching, I mean I honestly, once I started
watching the Mummy yesterday, I was like, oh, I haven't
seen this before. Oh perfect, I had never seen this movie.
I didn't know that I hadn't seen it because I'm
(05:45):
probably because I was thinking about George of the Jungle.
I thought i'd seen it because I've been on the
roller coaster so much. And that's true because there's a
video of Brendan Fraser in character that used to be
at the end of the roller coaster. It's the only
thing that is the only like video tie in that's
better than the Brendan Fraser saying at the end of
the ride, WHOA, that was pretty crazy. Anyways, remember to
(06:06):
unbuckle your seat belts like that was literally what the
video was. A little fact that's still his only gig.
He still gets royalties from that rollercoaster video. But the
only one that's better, if you're listening at home is
look up the Bill Paxton Rest in Paradise Twister Experience video.
It's not a ride that exists anymore. It's literally one
of those like Hollywood things where you go in and
(06:28):
you just watch a set from Twister blowsh it around,
and then at the end there's a video of Bill
Paxton saying, Wow, the majesty of Nature. Check out Twister.
It came out, this ride existed is recently is five
years ago where uh in Florida. It was like I
think it was like, yeah, like Universal Studios in Florida.
(06:49):
I mean, this is the second movie we've done now
that has had a dater. Can you guys do Pirates
of the Cab. We're gonna do the Country Bears. We're
gonna do you guys are gonna do Song in the
South anytimes? Oh No, that is a roller coaster movie.
It's like my favorite roller coaster and it's problematic on
literal mountains, isn't that Yeah? Yeah, yeah, and they're like,
(07:13):
let's change it. Let's not change it. I'm sure somebody
will also do Jurassic Park. I would love the Drastic Park.
Raft ride is fine. I love it. Well, there's a
place called Paramount, Canada's Wonderland, and I bet they've got
a lot of rides based on movies that you guys
just don't know. Our rides about Raider, there's a room,
(07:35):
no way. Yeah, I would almost got to go to Killa.
I would almost prefer that to well, I don't know.
There's also the one with the guy who jumped on
the couch Tom Cruise. He's in the new movie movie
What's the What's the movie? Top Gun? There's a top
Gun ride there too. Way. Yeah, rules kicks the shift
(07:59):
out of that twist to ride. It wasn't even ride,
you just stared at it. Oh wait, here's another good time.
This is a roller coaster podcast. Now. I love and
my mom. I've never seen my mom more excited than
to go on the Aerosmith roller coaster in Orlando, Florida.
For some reason, the Disney Corporation took it upon itself.
(08:19):
You know who needs to be adapted into a roller
coaster The band Arrowsmith. I mean, they're not wrong there,
it's they're a great band. They're from from my hometown,
for crying out loud, there from Boston. Um. So my
mom like she she used to be a roadie for
the Beaver Brown Band. She was there their their road
(08:43):
sled or whatever she did. I don't know. I don't
know exactly what she did with the Beaver Brown band,
but she let's call her right like Joe, what was
your affiliation? She doesn't like to talk about it. So
I think she was the Red Slide um, but she
she aspired to be the Aerosmith roads that never got there.
We went to Disney World when I was like twelve,
(09:04):
and she all she wanted to do was gone the
Aerosmith roller coaster and was thrilled because when you're in
the waiting area because it's an in demand roller coaster,
there's lines there. Can that be true? But it's a
great roller Okay, but there. I was on it last
year and I was like, not hold up, but there's
a huge like you're waiting in like their studio, and
(09:25):
then all of Aaronsmith acts and this short sketch and
they're so bad and they're just like, oh my god,
we gotta get to tour it the venue. We gotta
get to the veneo God, get us to the Greek
or like whatever they're saying. Um And Steve Tyler is
there and he's like, oh my god, guys, we're going
to be late. Hey didn't. Then the appoint it me
(09:47):
and they say, hey, can you drive for us? We
need some roadies And my mom was like because she
wanted to be ready. Yeah, she was thrilled. Oh my god,
this is the coaster cast. Anyway, the movie was cool,
So you guys hadn't have seen it before. I think
(10:08):
I saw it when it first came out in and
then never again except for today and yesterday when I
watched it twice and then maybe never and never again
after this, but it's a time for the recap. Yeah,
all right, there, you guys, don't do that. Oh yeah,
(10:28):
cut a track right now in every single time. Well, first,
I feel like someone was like, Hey, I really want
to make an Indiana Jones movie. But I don't have
the rights to Indiana Jones, but I want to make
an Indiana Jones movie anyway, So I'm gonna make this movie,
and I'm not going to care that it's very bad. Probably,
I say, I can see that it has such an
(10:50):
Jones feel, as Jones accept like a really like a
CVS brand Jones. Yeah. But then I was up and up.
That's so funny that you think that, because I was thinking, Oh,
this is like a better version of National Treasure, which
is just another version of Indiana Jones. I love National Treasure.
I'm sure it would have could have been a fine movie.
(11:14):
Oh no, what's the name of that guy? I wish
he was in National Treasure? Another movie he'd fit in great. Well,
he is in Raiders of the Lost Dark Alfred Molina is. Oh, yeah,
he's in a good one. I'm sorry. Last Crusade is
a very good one. Here's something not the best. One
(11:39):
will shock you here. I've never seen in Indiana John, No,
it won't. It does not shock National Treasure probably five times,
so you don't need to see Indiana Jones exactly. That's
just think of that but better. But like what if
this is better? But I love It's something I know
and love the The plot twist in Natural Treasure is
daylight saving time. That's a great twist. I love that twist.
(12:04):
I'm so glad I brought this one because I need
to get drunk immediately. Raiders of the Lost Arc probably
is the better film, but we all can agree that
Indiana Jones on the Last Crusade is a much more
fun movie. And it wasn't really closer two. I know
it's a really fun one. It was alright anyway, So
this movie God well, to quote of Brendan Frasier's character,
(12:26):
I gotta rescue the damsel in distress, kill the bad guy,
and save the world. I love that line. I was like, boom,
nailed it, nail on the head. Brandon. I have a
lot of thoughts about Brandon Fraser. I'm sure you're not
supprised he buys into my My new theory is that
Brendan Fraser is ostensibly the rebound boyfriend of actors because
(12:53):
you do not have to take him seriously. He's fun
for two hours. The second you hit two hours, he
is not fun anymore, and you're like, I want to
go home. And that's that is. That's luckily this movie
clocks in just over two hours, but ten minutes of
that is the credits. So yeah, by a mummy, So
(13:13):
it's like, you're busy. He's got a frinding about him.
Is like I forgot how hot he was and I
was like, holy crap, he's so hot. But then by
the end of the movie you see like where you're like,
he's just something off hot, you know what I mean,
when he's wild brand hot. This whole movie is this
(13:34):
CBS brand. I like, I feel like if you called
Brendan Fraser's name, he's got the kind of eyes where
he'd like look over like a like an egrette. He'd
be like, what like an emu ostrich, what am I
thinking of? I'm thinking of a large bird. That's how
I think. I feel like Brendan Frener could lay an
egg and that's what he's been doing. Lately. I wouldn't
(13:56):
be surprised if Brendan Fraser. So this is like I
laid a night I had coldbred coffee for the first
time today. Oh, that's the last time I had cold
brew coffee. I had a panic attack. I am story.
I feel like I'm on the verge of a pan.
But let's let's ride this way. Let's write it um
and let's recap the story. We open in like ancient Egypt.
(14:19):
What years it? We don't know? Something BC something. I
don't give a funk. If it's before Christ. Yeah, not interesting.
Let's leave this out of it, Okay, just to clarify.
So in the beginning, when it's like the BC era,
and then so what's that chick? Is she like super
special or something? She's the pharaoh's mistress, mistress mistress? Where's
(14:43):
we don't know? Do we hear about the wife? I
don't think so they would talk about something together, I know,
only woden't have a conversation, just one thing, those two. Um.
But then she's having an affair with someone else. She
loves somebody else, which is this man. He's bald and
(15:06):
that's really honestly, I thought he was when I first
last movie, I thought it was Billy Zane. I was like,
that guy's that's Billy Zane. And then I rewatched it
yesterday and I was like, no, different man who looks
just like him? Before we start to get bad reviews,
we're not saying all bald men look alike. I know
that we we've got to be aware, do you know? What?
Was crazy? And I know we're still doing the plot
(15:27):
but we haven't. We've hardly begun. But how like that
at the beginning, it's like that woman is like us, basically,
like a sex slave mistress, and then she's in love
with someone and he loves her, and then yet that
person who loves her and her become the villain. It's
like they should be the good guys. Yeah, I was
(15:47):
a little bit confused about that, Like why are they
the villains? They've had a ship time, I don't know. Anyways,
forward also the after Christ the the actress who plays
the ancient Egyptian lady. Her name is Patricia Velasquez who
plays Marta on Arrested Development? Whoa which one's Marta on
(16:10):
Arrested develop She's the one that Michael is in love
with that date that's fine, yeah, I wanted them to
make it, I know not and Michael anyway, so they
they have this like clandestine relationship and the Pharaoh finds out,
so he's like, you're a bad man. I'm going to
curse you and not really though before he could curse him, oh,
(16:34):
the woman they killed him. Well, the woman stabs herself
and then they they killed the pharaoh first. I don't remember,
but saying it doesn't really it didn't even It's like,
this is a why is this movie hard to follow?
Like it shouldn't be. There's a lot of questions that
(16:55):
I feel like I would come up with the wrong plot.
And I tried really hard to pay attention to this movie.
It's a hard movie to pay attention to it. And
when I said who cares, I don't mean I didn't
mean to dismiss you. I meant to say, this movie
is stupid, who cares what happens in it? I just
wanted to clarify, right, Yeah, all my fans are going
to be really mad about it. The Georgia Heads are
coming after you. Brooks Nation. The bottom one the guy
(17:19):
becomes a mummy and then put in a tomb, and
the sarcophagus, and they mummify him while he's alive, so
he gets put in that thing when he's still alive,
which is You can tell it scary because his eyes
are like, no, yeah, this tongue, which is which is
a bad thing in the beast. How is he going
to go down on a woman? That's what they're saying. Wait, wait, air,
(17:44):
is that not how you get down a woman? Just
gentle blowing. I feel like if you had a nub
enough a tongue, you could still do it. Yeah, you
don't have to like really get in there, but yeah,
a little froggy no, you would you have to do
if you had a really little tongue. Hypothetically, I'm not
sorry I got I have a great tongue, um, but
(18:06):
if you have a little tongue, I have an average
sized tongue. I drive such a fancy hot car because
I'm compensating for my tongue, my tongue. But maybe you'd
have to And everyone at home please picture this happening
to a vagina. Spread your mouth and suction on to
(18:28):
get the tongue. Because you can't bring the tongue. The
tongue has to be brought to well anyway, so there's
a curse, he's a money or so. Then the future
comes at the past, is it n it's and then
it like goes forward more so I was guessing that
(18:50):
was around five to thirty, but the first ones in
when Brandon Fraser is still like I only watched this
movie once, you don't remember the years as is like
I'm obsessed with like Edwardian culture, which is like nineteen
nineteen ten. And then right after that and I got, really,
the one thing I really liked about this movie is
(19:10):
like the era took place in and also her fashion
her Yeah, it's she's she's a colonial gal with very
thin eyebrows. I didn't even know that was Rachel I
wrote down triggered by eyebrows, eyebrows, very distracting, no idea
that was her because she has such like rich, luxurious
eyebrows and they're so overplunched in this movie because I
(19:32):
was like the style of the time that I did
not know that was Rachel White until I looked at him.
She has she has pregnant teenager eyebrows. Those are overplugged
eyebrows are for pregnant teenagers and people who don't know
what they're doing. All the pregnant teenagers listening to the podcast.
We're not trying to put you in a box. Keep listening,
and you know, think about how your your body, your choice,
(19:54):
your but also I mean with the baby, but not
with your eyebrows. And there's no excuse for bad So
I should just I am dB this, babe, I am dB. Yeah,
I didn't fit it took I. I have been trying
to challenge myself to not google things for the second
I want to google them. No, But like when I
(20:16):
was watching the movie earlier, I was like, I'm going
to figure out who this actress is. I know her face,
but the browser distracting and I didn't get it. I
had to look it up. Well, it's she looked Hella familiar,
And by the end of the movie, I was like, oh,
I've seen her a buttload. Yeah. I think that's the
technical term, and that's the unit of measurement that I'd
like to apply. Yeah. So then he gets arrested. Yeah.
(20:39):
Brendan Fraser is like, I guess, a treasure hunter and
he like goes to this lost city, this city of
the Dead in Egypt, and there's these people who attack him,
and he's like no when he gets arrested, and then
intro Rachel Wise as Evelyn and her brother and they
worked at this like Library of Antiquities museum also in Egypt.
(21:00):
She's a scholar. I forget why she go, right because
her brother has this yeah, and I find this map. Now,
like this is the map to this city of the dead.
So they go and they find it's kind of like
to see a national treasure where they steal a constitution
and they're like, there's a map on the back and
it's a lemon juice. How did you find out? What
(21:22):
the No, that's not right. They didn't hold it under
a black light. I don't know what they did. It's
basically like national treasure, right, Okay, continue Anyway, they pair
up with Brendan Fraser and they're like, let's go to
this place. They find the city. They go inside these categories.
There's a sarcophagus and then they're like this is creepy.
And then there's these other people who are also hunting
(21:42):
for the treasure in this place. And the twenties everyone
really wanted treasure. Everyone loved treasure back then. Not so much.
Now there's like no, no, one's seeking wealth anymore. You know.
That's why I've made such a killing in the treasure business,
because it's an undersaturated profession. I like to steal old
paper and be like it's a map and then and
then go to different countries and just sunk around. You're
(22:05):
very good at that. Yeah, thank you anyway, So they
released this Mommy that's in this this tunes because she
reads from the book and she finds she didn't read
that's the list reading no thank you. She reads from
this book. It like awakens this bad mummy guy and
he keeps like sucking the life out of people until
(22:27):
he's like regenerated. And his whole thing is he wants
to be reunited with the woman and he loves what.
Oh my god, Aristotle, we got him to say something. Wait,
what did you say name right? Did you re watch
the movie recently? You just remember? Okay, you just wait?
Do you love the Mummy? Oh my god? If you
(22:51):
didn't hear him, he said he used to love it.
I don't believe how many times have you feel like
you've just been waiting to yell at You're like they're
gonna get there, They're gonna get there. That's so funny anyway,
So he wants to be a twist for us from that.
So this mommy guy wants to be reunited with his
love whose name is whatever, who cares, And then he
(23:15):
know he's like, I'm going to take this one other
lady in the story and use her is like the
vessel to try to revive my my beloved. And they're like, no,
we can't let this happen. So they have to go
find this other book that's going to kill him because
he's immortal and he can't be killed by any mortal weapons.
So they're like scrambling around and he's like unleashing all
these plagues on the city and they're like, no, how
(23:37):
do we do this? And then there's all these other
mommies who come up and attack them, and a bunch
of people die, and then finally they find the book
they need and they kill him the end and they
fall in love and right and Brandon fall in love. Yes,
who saw that coming? Rick? I love that the hero
(23:58):
of this Egyptian movie is Rick O'Connell. Sounds like a
neighbor I would have Is that the brother? Uh No,
that's Brendan Rick O'Connell. Rick O'Connell. The guy who plays Benny,
who is presumably an Egyptian character, is played by a
(24:19):
guy named Kevin O'Connor. That must probably a white guy
and probably example of Hollywood. Hollywood whitewashing. This movie is very,
very very guilty of whitewashing. If we're looking at it
in a macro way, it's, you know, three white leads
in a country of now white people. All the villains
(24:44):
are you know, the slightly brown, slightly brown we I
mean were they're just ethnically ambiguous. Well the Egyptian played
by Patricia she's Hispanic, right, yeah, I mean they were
like a anything money pigments, yeah, which uh And but
(25:05):
you know even the way that like like everyone who
lives in Egypt who is not American or British is
like they're dumb or they're violent, and we're we're here
to talk about women, but you know, we're addressing it's
hard to talk about women with this movie. We literally
have to talk about other things. I do have something
(25:25):
I would like to address. It's very serious. So the
reason we're doing this episode because there's a new Money
installment coming out starring not Brandon Fraser but Tom Cruise,
the guy who jumped on the couch. Isn't that weird?
Usually when there's a new movie and they put a
new person and they don't pick someone who's the same
(25:46):
age as the original, dude, you know what I mean?
You just didn't cast him last time. Brandon Fraser uh
is if nothing else, and he's a lot of things.
He's a class act brand. Fraser released a statement upon
not being cast in The Money reboot and being bumped
(26:07):
by Tom Cruise, and it's maybe the saddest thing. Oh God, please,
I've ever written my life. Here's what Mr Fraser had
to say. Quote. I am flattered as Tom Cruise is
a really big movie star. There are many movies made
before the one that I was lucky to be a
part of, which, speaking in the sense of you know,
history of time, a lot of movies. I am certain
(26:29):
this one will be unique. I have met Tom before
and he is a nice guy. He will be great,
and the film will be exciting, and get your tissues out.
I will buy the ticket to watch it on the
opening day. Imagine if Brendan Fraser had to pay for
a ticket to the Mummy. I think we should start
(26:50):
a Kickstarter get him a therapy dog and a free
ticket to the Mummy because this because Homeboy is is
torn up. He's torn up about it. It's just sad
because it's like he could use it, you know, he
could use it, and he shines. I enjoyed him in
Luny Tunes back in Action in two thousand three. What's
(27:10):
that movie he's in, Um Georgia the Jungle. Yeah, yeah,
I want to see a reboot that you're in called
Georgia of the jung So does everybody here that Hollywood?
But yeah, let's talk about Evelyn, who I did not.
I didn't even know her name until halfway through the movie. Yeah, same,
(27:30):
because I was like, oh, Evelyn is a great name.
I remembered Evie because I was like, that's a Pokemon.
Let's just from the top her. The way she's introduced.
What a goof right, she's putting books away in her library.
What a weird introduction to this character. Yeah, because it
doesn't even she never looks that way again, Like she
(27:52):
had glasses on maybe or something. She looked like a
super nerd and then that was the end of that.
And she's like super clumsy because like she's on this
ladder trying to put these books away, and then the
ladder like somehow becomes suspended upright, and gravity stops existing
for thirty seconds or so, and she's like kind of
balancing on this ladder and she's almost like they're still,
(28:16):
and then she finally tips over and knocks like twenty
bookcases down dominoes. And then this mean guy comes in.
He's like, you fix this, you fix it. He's like,
why are you Why do I even hire you? Yeah,
you suck. And she does stand up for herself and
she's like, because I can read ancient in Egypt, I
know what hi, your rhoglyphics are and the most that's
(28:39):
the way exactly what she says. Well, I mean it's
like the most expository dialogue ever. I went to college,
and I know the pictures they made inside the triangles
and and the guys like, you know what actually is?
Because your parents have a lot of money? Did he
say that to blame us? Girl? What do you know
(29:03):
about misery? Hey? Titanic check the guy who plays Mr.
Is may Is in this movie and the guy who
plays another character whose name that scene with violent swimming
that I was like, oh no, because they go overboard. Yeah,
there's that. And the guy who plays Captain Winston have
(29:25):
Lock who like pilots their playing back to the city.
Guy who says famous character cath I cosplayed in him.
He plays the guy in Titanic who after Jack like
saves Rose on the back of the ship. And then
everyone's like did he save her or was he trying
to rape er? We don't know? And then he's like, no,
I saved her. And he's like, well, the boy's a hero.
(29:47):
Then that guy that's a deep cut yes, yes, yes, yeah, yeah,
you're right there. And then yeah, Mrs May plays on Chamberlain.
He end doesn't He the guy from Titanic and from
this movie. He's also the bad guy in Jamani. Oh sorry,
(30:12):
there's a movie coming out with Kevin Harrison. I think
it's Kevin Harden. What's his name? The Rock? Okay, I'm back.
We I mean, story plot wise, we have not yet
gotten to the part with Britain Frasher in a cage
because I've been waiting. Oh, we just jumped right over
that arrested for a reason that I can't decipher. I'm
(30:37):
not sure. Then he almost gets hung. He's indicage. He
looks exactly like he looked well Georgia the younger. Yes,
I'm like, is that how long has he been in
the jail? We don't know. Um, we were I was
talking about how how Ellen's character is introduced. Yeah, we
haven't talked about her brother yet. Remember how her brother
(30:57):
is introduced when she comes like in to the room
and then he pretends to be like a skeleton mummy,
like such a shitty brother move. And I originally thought
it was going to go in the direction of, like,
this is her husband and like or her fiance. I
thought it was going to be somebody who liked her,
who was a ship bag, you know what I mean.
And then I'm glad it ended up being her brother too,
(31:20):
because when we got to like we're like, oh whatever,
I just want to love story to be able to happen,
and I don't want anything to get in the way
of that. Like I like that it was just her brother,
so that heat there was nothing getting in the way
of her and whatever his name is that theirs sure,
but it's like there wasn't like a she gets mad
at him because that guy told a lie, and it's like,
fucking forget. I just want everyone to like be in love.
(31:41):
I don't want any external opposing forces. Egypt is enough
too close to Yeah, I mean Egypt. We're already in
the trenches. There in the trenches. Let's talk about how
after she and her brother are introduced, they go to
the cage that Brandon Fraser is hanging out in because
(32:02):
he's been arrested for whatever reason, rashing around, Right, how
long has he been in there? Because he is effectively feral.
When he bursts into that cage, he's like like, he's
like screaming, I don't rashing around kissing him. It wouldn't
take that long to be come like that in a
jail cell I don't, probably not, especially if you're untethered
(32:24):
as Brendan Fraser. But that's what I wanted to talk about.
He just like he's like, come your closer, I gotta
tell you something. And then he kisses her and we're
like but she seems fine with it, which is like, well,
she liked it, but she's like I didn't like it.
She's ritten by a man who also read the g I.
Joe movies. Just keep things in perspective. Well, I was like, Okay,
(32:45):
why did that happen? Why didn't anyone make that choice?
And then she does like kind of push back a
little bit. She's like, how dare you? And then she
keeps She's like, you have bad manners and why why
did you kiss me? And he's like, I was about
to be hanged. It seemed like a good idea at
the time. And then then pulls out a gun. Okay,
(33:06):
I know you have a lot of He pulls out
a gun. Well, he like slam after he says that
line about like just I was in a cage, so
you pretty much do every want a cage? Like, he
slaps down all of his artillery in front of her,
and I'm just like, this is a weird choice. Also,
before he meets Evie and even before he kisses her,
(33:29):
he calls her abroad. Yeah, like she'll do it, that's
actually historical for a fourth she'll do for a fourth kiss.
I'm George of the Jungle. Also Brendon Fraser controversy. All
the Fraser heads out there, let me know what you think.
I don't remember if Brendan Fraser has an auty belly
(33:50):
button or if the guy in George of the Jungle
too has an autie belly button. One of them has
an autie belly button. I hope it's Brendan because I
have an Audie. The audie community as very oppressed, especially
in Hollywood, and is it even safe to say that
on their don't even maybe ended this audi and prouty
(34:11):
is what I'm saying. Brand it's Brandon Frazer. I'm gonna
look up as tummy pressure ebbs. So, first of all,
whenever you kiss someone without their permission, technically it's sexual assault.
So that happened. And then there's this story beat where
(34:33):
she's like kind of swooning over it. She's like in
her when she's no Like before that, she's like she's
in her room on the boat because they're heading towards
this City of the Dead, and she's like trying to
read and she's like so hot and bothered. And then
she's like, oh, come on, girl, what wasn't even that
good of a kiss? Like clearly she's apparently thinking about
(34:55):
this kiss, but we saw the kiss and we know
it wasn't that good, so she must be in love. Yeah,
well that's not okay, You're right, I hear you, especially
because that I was like, oh, yeah, this is so weird.
Because it's always unacceptable obviously, but if a villain character
had done that, I'd be like, oh, we're supposed to
know he's a bad guy. He doesn't respect one. This
(35:16):
is the hero of the movie, right, who pretty much
in our introduction, Farrell Fraser bursts out, you know, he's
foaming or whatever, and then and then he immediately assaults
a man with his fist and then a woman with
his mouth, and it's just it's just like, oh, yeah,
(35:36):
just buy rules, can't wait to go on the roller coaster,
like it's just weird. Well, and then there a couple
of minutes after that, whenever there there's this like public
hanging ceremony where he's about to be hung. She's trying
to barter with this guy who's like in charge of
hanging him, I guess. And then she's like, I'll pay
you a hundred pounds and he's like, no, I'm a
(35:57):
lonely man. What else can you give? And he puts
his hand on her knee, and so she was assaulted
twice in a row, but she does she doesn't, and
then she laps his hand and then the whole crowd laughs,
proving that women are funny. This is pretty cool. It was,
(36:19):
and it is kind of cool that she saves him,
like a rolls or reverse, that woman saves the man.
She's a good with some exception like getting too horny
to read a book. Who hasn't I'm like, I could
think of an example of maybe a time that that
has happened to me. But she's a pretty good character.
(36:39):
But this is I think like symptomatic of blockbusters of
you know, Princess Leia, because we see Evie in a
very LAist style sex prison where she's like chained to
the sarcophagus brand and all that, and it's like, we
have one solid female protagonist and the main problem is
a all the male characters and be there's one for
(37:00):
her to talk to, which I feel like it's a
problem We've come up on this podcast again and again again. Yeah,
it's like they had she had no chance there. She
only could talk to those dudes because there was just
no And also like, but to be fair, she chose
that life of adventure and most women don't do that.
But at one point she's like, I'm not an adventurer.
I'm a librarian. I'm just like okay, cool, and then
(37:22):
she passes out on him, and he doesn't. He knows
that passed out means no, And I think that's really great.
Who drunk the sand means well? And that's a great
message for young men like Aristotle who are watching at
the time. Yeah, because he kisses the air because she's like,
I'm gonna kiss you, and then she passes out and
(37:42):
then and so he just like he kisses the air
because you knows he can't kiss her. Great, even more
assault than he's already assaulted her. Well, what happened. What
they were trying to show is that he was like
the bad boy and then she kind of like made
him a good boy. She fixed him. She fixed him.
I think that that's impressive because I this is not
(38:05):
a protagonist that jumped out to me as I could
fix him, and I think I could fix almost everybody. Brendan,
he's a wild I wouldn't want to leash that Bengal tiger,
you know what I mean. She also wasn't trying to
fix him. It just happened, do you know what I mean?
She was very busy and very excited about all of
the history around her, and she wasn't even trying to
She was horny for history. She was horny for history
(38:27):
and he was He was horny adjacent. She was like
no woman he's ever met. Now I'm putting plotlines in that. Well,
we don't even know if he's ever met a woman before.
We've never seen him in a scene with another woman.
She could be his first woman that he's met. Maybe
now there's a movie, let's talk about it. I'm thinking
(38:49):
Ricky Gervais for the lead. I wanted to talk a
little bit about the scene on the boat where one
while she does save Brendan Fraser from being hanged, then
he has to go and save her because he's bad.
Guys on the boat who are like the guardians of
the exact who they were lost city. Okay, they're just
(39:10):
trying to keep that money in right, I think. Cool. Yeah,
So they come in attack and she gets saved by
Brandon and then he's like he picks her up, throws
her into the water. What ocean would that have been.
I don't think it was an ocean. I think it
was the Nile. That's when my mom went swimming in
(39:33):
the Nile. Really, that's cool. It's go on an expedition
and dig up some bones. That's what I call sex
going on an expedition. Wow, it sounds like you're doing phones.
But then I actually, I'm sorry, I'm not digging them up.
I'm burying those bones. If you catch your sting men
(39:55):
and burying their penises, I got it with my vagina
with your whoa, So you're vagina is the dog? Like, okay,
I think I was thinking if you're a vagina is
the shovel. Oh yeah, I guess So you know what's
interesting about this movie? So he keeps saving her with
her his muscles, and she keeps saving him with her
wit and knowledge. Perfect exchange between them is one of
(40:20):
my favorites where Brendan Frascher's character is insistent on being
a fucking weird idiot, where she goes, you know your history,
and he says, I know my treasures to double down
and like, I'm a fucking idiot. I'm not smart, which
I appreciate. I love it when a man's like, guess what,
I'm not smart. Yeah, I'm stupid, and it's like, you know,
(40:43):
usually you're right. That brings me to the scene whenever
they're trying to haggle with the guy who's selling them
camels and like no, we only went Flora camels. And
then Brendan Frascher's like, well, we could have gotten them
for free. All you needed to do was give them
your sister, suggesting that Jonathan should have sold Lynn. I
think at the camel, I think even worse than that
(41:03):
that it was just Brennan making a joke, which is
even worse. You don't even like I don't even think
he was real about that, but he was just like, like,
I hate when dudes make jokes. Are bad at cond
They're so bad at a great at comedy. Men are bad.
I hate you're just the fact. I hate to come
to Brendon's defense, but what a compliment to be worth
(41:25):
four whole camel? I mean like most men would be like, oh,
you know, like on the Camel rating system, fourth pretty
high if you're like using the humps as measurement, like,
but women have a bunch of humps. If we remember
from that, what a great album? Check it out? Then
(41:52):
you can't see that laugh anyway, Yes, true, Jimmy, camels
are each of us worth. I'm a four camel girl.
Trust me. I've been with men who have tried to
sell me for our camels and He's like, I'll take
no four cigarettes. I'll take the lesson four cigarettes or
this one not even speaking in cartons, like my girlfriend,
(42:18):
if you give me four cigarettes, she's your girlfriend. Now.
I would never date a smoker. Okay I did once
actually get mean, not just smoke shame everyone. We're gonna
get some emails about this. You guys are smoke shamers.
And this is a really nice shirt that my only
smoker boyfriend got me. Worth it? What is it? White
men can't jump? Wit men can't jump? Cool? Yeah, I've
(42:39):
never seen that movie. It's good. It's good. It's a
good movie. Check it out. He also gave me the
chicken d I'll link you to his Facebook profile. You ye,
shout out. As long as we're talking about boys still,
I think the podcast is going great. The next thing
I wanted to bring up was Mr. Is Me, who's
real actor's name we don't know, but we know him
(43:01):
as Mrs May from Titanic. He's sort of with this
other group of Americans, Americans. They're the Americans. Right off,
I was just saying a line from Titanic. I heard
it at the end of the first VHS, one of
our favorite lines of course, and he is referring to
Brendan and friends, and he's like, they're led by a woman.
(43:23):
What is a woman now, which is obviously to like
show that like, we're not rooting for these guys. They're
they're bad and they say horrible things like that, and
they're wrong. They're wrong because in the next scene, Evelyn
says she's basically rattling off all the things she knows
about hieroglyphs and the legends and mythology. Everybody knows treasurer
(43:47):
but she knows history knowledge, but they doesn't know ed.
But so the problem is, like he like, they're led
by a woman. What does a woman know? And then
in a few scenes later, Brendan Fetchers like he's talking
to Evelyn and he's like, why are you here? Yeah,
(44:09):
so it's like, um, because she's helping your expedition, you
motherfucker well, And she does, I mean almost at every
opportunity she has to stand up for herself, and he
does stand up for herself, which is why I think
she's a good character. She's always advocating for how smart
she really does seem to be, even though it's not
plot relevant very often. And she also is like, do
(44:31):
you think she's a suffragette. It's around that time. I
don't think she thinks she has the right to vote,
and it's a damn shame. So while her her strength
is knowledge and she knows a lot about history, specifically
ancient Egyptian history, but she seems to have some huge
blind spots in her knowledge because she doesn't because she
(44:52):
doesn't know enough to not read from a book called
the Book of the Dead. She was too, because that's
what awakens the mummy. I like that you have known that.
I mean she doesn't believe in things she can't see.
She said, that's true, anything would come up. She wasn't
(45:13):
super It's weird because she is superstitious at certain parts
of the movie, and then another part she's like, I
don't believe it, and yeah, like she she's like, no,
there's rumors that this city is trial. She says in
the beginning, She's like, if I don't see, I don't
believe it. And it's like Eve, one must pick. But
the scene where she steals the book I loved because
(45:33):
she steals it from this guy who's like drunk, he
passes out. She takes is that Mrs Name oh god,
I think he made it his headlines thank you, that
was for you. And then she brings it over to
Brendan and Brendan's like, it seems like he's joking. He's like,
don't read the monk. Don't. They're flirting, right, but then
(45:55):
once she reads it and something bad happens, He's like,
I told you not to read the book. Like you
were flirting with her, you would have read it if
you could read. He was he was being manipulative. He's like, hey,
I don't she I told her. I told her not
to read the book. And she's like I'm sorry. And
then and then Mr is May is like in the
(46:15):
right even though he's like the dumb alcoholic where he's like,
we told her not to read the book. I feel
like every dumb man in the scene ends up being right,
and that's frustrating. I feel like there's a lot of
like in this movie, characters who should are the bad guys,
but then they're the good guys, and then they're the
bad guys. Like I feel like there's a lot of mix. Yeah,
fid you know more like real life? This is like
(46:38):
what did he eat? The documentary? Because we're like chef
salad next in there. What do you guys think happens
in the Mummy Returns? I think he comes back. Have
you seen it? Do you know? Only did he nod?
He like gave this like stupid moment. You bitches haven't
(47:00):
seen the Mummy Returns? Uh? Well, I don't know. I
mean we're using for a yardstick of a movie. I
have seen the return of Jaffar. Jaffar returns in that one,
so one might assume the Mommy returns that Jafar returns.
Then I used to have a crush on Jaffar. Jaffar
(47:24):
is hot, the which animals, Jaffar the evil, the evil brother. Uncle,
who's from? You have said every Disney movie? That's not
a lab far right? He is he the parrot? No,
(47:47):
he's the good cat right, that's Oh, it's the bad guy. Yes. Oh,
I don't know why I thought it was ana. I
think we should start a podcast about straight to video sequels.
You guys should do like mini shows that are just
sequels and you don't have a guest. Maybe m It's
(48:09):
not a bad idea. I claimed the copyright for them,
but you guys can have it, but just always give
me credit. Credit at the top. The director of the Mummy,
Stephen Summers, has an impressive resume if you were an
aggro white dude who wants to be leading a movie.
He wrote, wrote, he wrote and did the Mummy Good
(48:32):
for him here, and he also wrote The Mummy Returns
Juries out on what Happened. He also wrote Revenge of
the Mummy, The Ride. He wrote the roller Coaster video
Road the roller Coaster too. I bet he is on
the rolle riding the roller coaster that one when that
would make sense, know that if it's like the Mummy,
(48:53):
there's fire and a jump scare and then you go
backwards like there's like a a grama Brendan Fraser at
the end of Fraser comes at the end and says,
unbuckle your seat, exactly what sex with Me is like.
And then he wrote The Mummy, Tomb of the Dragon Emperor,
and then he also wrote G I Joe, The Rise
of Cobra. Okay, he mixed it up there and Van
(49:15):
helsing that really bad one. The next thing I wanted
to talk about was I'm here to keep it. It's
not even irrelevant thing. I know. I'm not. I'm not.
I'm good I'm doing good, you're doing great. Okay. What scene.
So it's after they've unleashed the Mummy. They go back
to the city I think Cairo maybe, yeah, probably a
(49:38):
good bet. And they're in a hotel, I think, and
they're like, all right, we're gonna have to go back
because we really suck this up. We're gonna have to
go fix it. Brendan Fraser does not want Evelyn to
go along, so he picks her up and then he
throws her on a bed and then he locks her
in a room. And to be fair, she's very she's
very angry about it, and she's fighting back. She's like,
(49:58):
I can't know, I want to go with you, guys,
don't don't leave me here. But it was just like,
come on, Brendon, do you don't have to pick her
up and hurl her across the room? He had he
had to her. There are so many scraps that gets
into in this movie. If someone would just let her
hold a gun. She never holds a gun. Does she
(50:19):
ever hold agun? There's a scene where they're in like
they're like around the campfire and like a noise happened.
So he's like, hold this and he shoves the rifle
in her hands, but then he comes back and gets it.
In most scenes, Brendan Fraser has two guns. He's not
a pouch full of weapons. Wait and talk about your
gun theory. So I have not a theory. These are
(50:40):
fats um. So I started counting the number of times
where there's a scene in the movie where a character
either pulls out a gun or the scene starts and
guns are already drawn or are being fired. And this
this is just scenes. So it's like, not even the
number of times this happens. This is just scenes where
this happens in. Within a scene, it could happen. I
(51:01):
feel like they put them away and they're like, actually
gonna come come back out again. So this is strictly
just the scenes that this happens in. It is I
counted twenty one scenes in the movie where characters like, hey,
it's been seven seconds since I've drawn a gun. Better
do it again. There's only eight scenes in this movie.
The joke is that weapons don't kill the mommy, So
(51:23):
what the funk? Exactly that's true. They only kill each
other with a weapon. Man, It's like once a gun
is used to shoot a scare beetle once it's used
to shoot the mirrors, to just tilt the mirror so
that the light they like the reflections, so like guns
are used. The thing that really bummed me out about
(51:48):
Evie was I was on her side. There were shitty
she was being assaulted all the time, but at least
she had a character. She had a set of skills
and knowledge and like she was a capable female protagonist
until like the last half hour where she's pretty effectively
taken out of action, until at the end of the
(52:09):
movie where she's like this is where like the Damsel
in Distress line comes in, where she's taken by the
bald guy a k a. The Mommy them. Oh yeah,
the mommy poor Man's Billy Zane. This is called the
bald guy. And then the bald guy returns, not to
be confused with the bald women rule the bald Guy
(52:31):
to the Dragon Emperor. Right cool, because she's like strapped
to a slab. She's like in Princess Leah, like she's
put in a hot outfit and restrained. Where was that from?
A right? I wish she had underneath? Oh yeah, it's
like did he just They're like, we've got some we've
(52:51):
got a wardrobe in this pyramid like there because it
fits just so, but that that sucks. Like watching basically
the whole bimactic scene where she's literally in the center
of the screen beside a dead woman, beside a dead
woman changed the first thing able to participate ever seen
two women together one is dead money. And then Brendan Fraser,
(53:15):
who I cannot imagine was trained in any way for
these fights because he just seems to be you know,
flailin flailin Fraser, just lunging at probably like tennis balls
on sticks that weren't real c g I mummies yet
and he's like, uh, um, he did kind of help
(53:36):
save the thing because her dumb, dumb brother couldn't read
the thing. She was trying to tell him, does it
look like a bird a stork? And then she's like, oh,
it's this word and then true. But she is in
that moment still pretty helplessive and helpless. Um, but I
did at least she was doing. I wrote that down too,
and like, well, at least she participated. She wasn't like
(53:59):
forgetting all of her skill set for you know what
I mean, Like when they're just like Negate the fact
that she has any skills whatsoever for the sake of
damsel in distress. Yeah, she does have skills. I just
hate that that they like like she should have saved him.
That should have been the twist. Well because at the
end I and he had like one hand free, and
(54:19):
you know in that skeleton, mummy hand grabs something and
then grabs the mummy hand. And I thought that she
was going to do like the final blow and would
get the mommy, But she doesn't, write Brendan Fraser takes
a dead person's hand and does it trigger. I mean, overall,
the men in the story, which is of them, are
(54:43):
overall consumed by greed and they mostly resort to violence,
whereas the one woman character who we see generally has
integrity and she provides a lot of information that's necessary
for the progression of the story. And she is kind
of active, and I mean like different things she does
or different bits of information that she says, let's the
(55:06):
story move forward. She participates. She participates. Wow, we really lowered.
You know, it could be better, it could be worse.
She doesn't have one of those moments that I always
talked about in Hate and Summer Blockbusters where the one
female protagonist does something and goes told, you boys, look
like I just kicked something really hard and it broke.
(55:28):
And then they're like, oh, we're so areny, Like so
that was good. She just did what she was good
at and no one was like, oh that, although there
is a moment where um, this is after the Mummy
has like captured her and taken her and like he's
bringing her back to the City of the Dead, and
the Mummy is like making this big sandstorm and the
(55:49):
plane flying into it, and the ball guys always be
making sandstorms, and the sandstorm is like overcoming the plane
that there are all in that, like Brendan Fraser and
all those guys are in and she's like, oh my god,
they're about to die. She's you're going to kill them.
So to distract the Mummy, she goes up to him
and it's like, oh, she about to punch him. She's
(56:10):
about to kick him in the balls, like to make
him lose his concentration. Instead, she kisses him, which like,
I have conflicting feelings about because on one hand, I'm like, yes,
I too. Whenever I can try to use my sexuality
to confuse and distract men, but that's not like were
you taught that from movies like The Mommy. Probably I
(56:31):
would have rather. I would have rather she had gone
up to him and like punched him in the face
or punched him in the dick. But she's really adds
that's what she's Fraser did. She's doing a kiss is
a stun gun, right, Yeah, she's she learned that assault
trick from her so she can beat Then she and
(56:55):
Brendan Fraser do share a consensual kiss at the very end,
little bit too long for me, I mean, and for
her brother. He was in having a right because then
he's like, maybe I should kiss this camel, which I
think would have been a really groundbreaking moment for cinema.
Hat he kissed the camel? Are right? Yeah, totally, especially
if that camel was a dude, which is what he
(57:16):
wanted to Yeah, that was implied. I really hate that.
I mean, it's like, why don't you just be gay
and not make this a thing very heteronormative movie. It's
like it's like Michelle and Gilmore Girls the original run.
It's like, let's just say I know, because it's just
like it's after a while if you have a gay
(57:38):
character in the mix long enough and don't say it.
It almost becomes worse, like we're just totally everyone else
is fucking right and left. Like, let's acknowledge this character. Clearly,
they're always hot. Let's let him fuck totally. Thank god
he found his partner. Yes, Frederick, I have nothing to
contribute to this conversations. I've not seen that show. I
(58:02):
love that so much. It's mye of the Indiana Jones movies.
I was too busy watching Gilmore Girls, probably almost as
many times as I've seen The Drinks. Okay, I have
a question about the Bechdel tests in this movie. Tying
all the themes together, does this movie actually pass the
beck Del test? Because the two women fought each other
(58:25):
for quite a long time in the tomb. I don't
know how. I don't know if they even exchange one word,
but they were certainly fighting, and it wasn't over a man.
It was about being alive. Well, they're interacting, but because
they're not speaking, pass there at least there are two
I mean, congratulations to this movie for having two women
in the same scene, but yeah, that's all we get
(58:46):
out of this one. So no, it doesn't pass the test.
I would say that it does not what's going on?
What being weird? Yeah? Oh, I think you're being fine,
But I guess I don't hang out with you as much.
Even though that said, I keep trying to hang out.
I keep texting and you're like, I'm busy. Sorry. I
love how Canadian your story. I wasn't going to point
(59:09):
it out. What I appreciate weird? Okay, actually, okay, So
let's just because I thought maybe it passed the Bechdel
test because she fought with the female money and that
was quite a long time, and that wasn't over a boy.
But well, words are not exchanged, which is one of
the caveats of the Backdel tests. I mean, they got
(59:31):
so closely, just forgot to write lines. Maybe there was
some dialogue and it just ended up on the cutting
room floor, but that was the only opportunity. There was
literally no other women in the movie, not even extra
don't even in the crowded scenes. One of those weird
Hollywood movies where it's like women don't exist here. Evie
is Smurfette, and we don't know, we don't know how
(59:54):
this world came to exist. Yeah, right, it's crazy. How
did they repopulate are a worms? No, do you think
passes the vital test? I would guess not, just to
talk to the mom. Oh no, I don't think Aladdin does.
(01:00:19):
Aladdin doesn't. I don't because she's the only girl, right,
except for like women in the streets, the ones who
are so horny for Aladdin. They're like pushing their tips
together and they're like, yeah, but those are just creations
of the genie. Those aren't even real women creation. Man,
do you think that on the roller coaster of the
(01:00:41):
Return of the Money there it passes the Bechtel tests?
Like women on that roller coaster talking about there's no
one in on the roller coaster. Except if we were
on the roller coaster doing a live podcast, which, hey,
let's do it. That roller coaster could pass the vital
test if we were not talking about if we weren't
gossiping about boys on the money roller coaster. Let's talk
(01:01:02):
about politics, a female politicians. I know that history is
not science, technology or mathematics or whatever the E stands
for women's STEM, but I want to I'm going to
give it to her. I think that Evie is a
woman in stem because like for her, she said, well,
she's a woman in well, yeah, she's a woman in
like sheem but she's history but isn't isn't like anthropology
(01:01:28):
a type of science, like a social science, archeology and
any social science. Yes, so it counts. Yeah, well done,
totally team effort. I was a doubter, but now I'm
a believer. Yeah. Does anyone have any final thoughts about
the movie that they want to share? I loved the
Return of Jaffar. Was a really fun movie. Unfortunately doesn't
(01:01:49):
pass the Backtel test. But in conclusion, Farrell Fraser ruled,
I love Brendan Fraser. I don't love Rick O'Connell. No
he's not. Oh my god, he started. It's not his
best character for sure. No, No, he's got other characters.
(01:02:14):
Drive to the Jungle. He was a movie called like
Bedazzled or something, but like, is that what it's called? Yeah, uh,
let's write the movie. I don't know out of what.
Oh well, we have a very prestigious and you know
it's prestigious when you pronounce it prestigious. A very prestigious
(01:02:35):
rating scale on a zero to five nipple scale. Oh right, right, right,
right now, you've listened to an episode. Sorry, um, so
we rate the movie based on its portrayal of women
on the nipple scale. I will go first, I will
give it a two because Evelyn, just isolating her is
(01:02:56):
not a terrible character. I don't especially like her. I'm
ever going to be like, oh, my favorite character Evelyn
or anything like that. She does contribute to this story
generally pretty minimally. But she is probably the smartest character,
definitely the most knowledgeable about the things that are happening
in the movie and the history that's relevant to the
(01:03:17):
story and everything like that. But she like she keeps
being tossed around by men. She's being antagonized by men
a lot of the time. She has to be saved
a bunch of times, although she does save Brendan Fraser
a couple of times. But overall, because she's like the
only woman that has any substantial screen time whatsoever, it's
just not great, Like let's see more women, Let's give
(01:03:39):
her more women. Let's I don't know, also, like give
her maybe a more cathartic moment at the end, like
something like a big like oh, I need to last
minutes of the movie kill Yeah. So because of that,
um yeah, two nipples. They both belong to the young
lady at the beginning, the mistress, because I don't know
(01:04:00):
if you can see her nipples or not, but somebody, someone,
someone out there, someone has someone, someone's probably joke saw
those nips. I'll give it to nipples as well. You
pretty much said everything I thought about e V. She's again,
as with all summer blockbusters, she's a fine character. There's
just no one for her to talk to, and she's
(01:04:22):
assaulted several times, which I think is a pretty consistent
feature in blockbusters to this day. I'm going to give
my nipples to Farrell Fraser when he's wilder than they're
probably frothing those nipples there, they're okay, listen, these nips
are foamy. I give it to foamy nips. I'm gonna
(01:04:46):
give it. I honestly, I'm just gonna give it one
nip because a movie. I didn't like the movie, and UM,
sorry that we made you watch it. It's not your fault.
I said I would do it, and I did it,
and and I'm giving one nipple simply for the outfits. Um,
and I guess I'll give it to the Mummy because
(01:05:08):
he's taken body parts anyways. So yeah, it was how
many Nipsey hasn't Yeah, I just get he can go
in his collection. He's like ed guyne Georgia. I would
just say I would love if this was the point
in the podcast where you're like, actually, I think I
watched Georgia everything. Oh man, I watched Return of Your
(01:05:32):
Far georg watched Georgia the Jungle. Caitlin did watch The Mommy,
which is good, Thank God, thank and Aristotle. Aristotle how
much he loved was shouted literally the highlight of the plot,
and there was a lot of highlights. Yeah, I've had
a great time here today. The best time this is
(01:05:55):
going in the Hall of Fame. This podcast gets five
nipples because that's the amount of nipples we gave it.
You have another thing also, The Mommy returns gave us
the gift of doing the rock Johnson. That's true. That
was his breakout role, was it? Yeah? Oh right, he
was like a pharaoh, a pharaoh Scorpi king. Wait, that
(01:06:15):
wasn't even Summer also wrote and directed. So this podcast
gets five nipples. There's five nipples at this table. I
only have one, so it's all good. I lost to
pull the frost bite to froth by it. Oh yeah,
(01:06:35):
cracked myself up well known a few weeks if that
was actually funny or not, it was. I'm drunk off
of this plastic now. You know. We are on your
boozy news. We get so wasted so quick. Well hey,
(01:06:56):
speaking of that, let's first of all, Georgian, thank you
so much for being here, right, absolutely pleasure, Thank you
for having me. Where can people find you online? Um,
Georgia Brooks dot com. It's my homepage. Great and um
I'm also at Georgia Brooks on all the things. And
(01:07:18):
are you still laughing at frost? Is it frost or
did you think my audition was funny? I'm laughing because
you said frost bite. Thank god? Thank I mean, like,
I couldn't have done it without you. It's true, it's
jam was so funny, but then you it. It's like
(01:07:41):
yes and ended is please come see our improv team,
the Return of Jafar. Yeah, it's full of lions. It's
basically the like our team is called the Return of Jaffar,
but we just show up and we watched The Lion King. Absolutely,
oh my god. Okay, So your website um oh yeah,
(01:08:01):
and then download your booze your news. It's with me
and Blake Wexler and Stephen Ray Morris is our producer,
but he's like on it all the time, talking and
we get really drunk and then we do the news
and I listened to it. It's very funny. It's such
a depressing time right now. It's literally the only thing
I'm doing right now that I'm proud of. Wow. Yeah,
(01:08:23):
listen to that. Follow that and and follow my cat,
follow your Cato spins Joe Joe underscore Sphinx because he's
got no fur and he's got a sister named Sage.
I'm hooked. Yeah, I'm gonna follow right now. Please do.
It's so worth your time. Well, I think we're gonna
come away from this better people deaf Yeah, okay, Bud,
(01:08:48):
I'm great. Georgia, thanks again. We'll have you back. This
has been a blast. And m hey bye bye bye
The Bechdel Cast News
Hosts And Creators
Caitlin Durante
Jamie Loftus
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