The Room with Barbara Gray

Oh hi, listeners! Two's great, but three's a crowd! Except when Jamie and Caitlin invite guest Barbara Gray to talk about The Room. We did not leave our stupid comments in our pocket...we say them all on this episode! Hi Doggy!

(This episode contains spoilers)

Follow @BabsGray on Twitter! While you're there, you should also follow @BechdelCast, @caitlindurante and @hamburgerphone

 

 

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
On the beck Dog Cast, the questions asked if movies
have women in them? Are all their discussions just boyfriends
and husbands? Do they have individualism? The patriarchy? Zef invest
start changing it with the beck Del Cast. Oh, welcome

(00:22):
to the beck Dodcast. I just did a can open
of Mike's heart that was almost as long as the
Tommy Wis sex scene. This is the Beckdel Cast. My
name is Jamie, my name is Caitlin. This is our
podcast that we have and we released on a weekly basis.
And we talked about the bridge rail of women in
movies and maybe you've seen them, maybe you haven't seen them.
As up to you which ones you listen to? We

(00:43):
don't know. We're not the police. I think you should
watch every movie we talk about. We are now your
new religion. You have to follow us. You have to
believe everything we say. And that is the Bechtel Cast.
My therapist is calling right now. Do you need to
answer the phone. Do I have to tell okay, beer,

(01:05):
let's pause. No, let's not. Pock let's not I'll be back, Okay,
I'll I'll just chat for a moment. We have a pocas.
It's inspired by the Bechtel Test, which is a test
that requires that movies have at least one scene where
there are two female characters. They have to talk to
each other. Those characters have to have names, and their

(01:26):
conversation has to be about something other than a man. Hey,
guess what, No movies pass. Not a single one has
ever passed the Bechtel test. Just kidding, but rarely they do. Anyway, Um,
Jamie is off talking to her therapist, which means there's
not much left to do except for me to introduce
our guest. She's one of the co hosts of the

(01:48):
Super Great Lady to Lady podcast, Barbara Gray. Hello, Hi Barbara,
Thank you for so much drama so far, the start
lemonade opening the therapy for own call. I feel like
Wizo would be proud of this, right. There's no rhyme
or reason and it's very complete nonsense. So talk about

(02:12):
your history with this movie. When did you first see it?
How many times have you seen it? I first saw it.
I grew up in Salt Lake City and we're hanging
out with my friends basement and my friend Bob was like,
you gotta see this movie. He kind of told us
about it and this was like this is a while ago.
I mean like fifth well came out an oh three.
By the way, we're talking about the room. I don't
know if that was ever. I guess this was maybe

(02:33):
like this must have been like two thousand five or
something there, two thousand and six. So he just shows
us the flower shop scene. That's all he shows us.
And then yeah, like the craziest scene of all time,
the weirdest timing you've ever seen in anything, like Hi,
you're my favorite customer. But it's just and I was like,
I need to see all of this immediately. I want

(02:54):
to see this movie. So we watched all of it.
So the first time I ever watched it was like
a basement with my friends. And then when I moved
to l A, we went to the five year and
versary screening of it and it was just like a
magical experience because people were doing all the interactive stuff
at the perfect time. We just had a really good
theater and it was all like really fun. And because
people like throws at you know something, there's so much

(03:15):
people have written like weird interactive stuff that works really well.
Like there's a scene the movie, you know, that scene
where She's like, I'm going to get you drunk, which
he's obviously never drank before, so he doesn't know what
alcohol is. So she brings out, no, I don't. Yeah,
she like brings out two glasses of what looks like
whiskey and then she puts vodka on top of it,
and he goes good, Like Eddie gets drunk immediately. It's

(03:40):
amazing use of symbolism because we're led to believe, oh,
they're drunk because there's a tie around someone's head. That's
the simple. And also they drink the entire ball box.
You would be like having alcohol poison at that point.
But I love you so much and I have wasted, wasted,
I love you. Yeah, you have nice flags, you have

(04:02):
nice pecks. It's weird. But the first time so I
saw that screening and this guy like stood up in
a robe and he was like, here's how you make
a Scotch gun. He had this whole thing. It was
just this really fun, interactive aspect to it. And I
have seen it so way too many times, Like I
hadn't seen it in a while. I watched it last
night and I was like, oh my god, Like I know,
I remember too much of this movie. Yeah, but I've

(04:24):
always let's you know, it's got a special place in
my heart for sure. Watching it with this intention was different.
Sure it was. I had to watch it two times.
I usually only watched it once before that. But it
was like, you can't. I hadn't seen it in years,
and so it's like I couldn't just watch it like, oh,
this time I'm watching the room for its female characters.

(04:46):
Like I just had to watch it once. Ye, fun,
and that was great, And then the second time was
almost like it was a totally different experience. Yeah. Well
I had never seen this before until a couple of
days ago, and I have since watched it four times. Yeah,
that makes me so happy to new record. So I

(05:07):
watched it once by myself. The next day, Jamie and
I watched it together. We were drinking cord. Yeah, we
were in bed. That's the way to do it. It
was sexy watch it in bed. Then I watched it
the following day again the Riff Tracks version of it.
And then I saw it again this morning because I
keep I'm like, I don't know what this movie is about.

(05:30):
You just are like what am I what? What? Where
am I going? I still feel unprepared. And I've watched
it four times in the past three days. So we
don't even need to talk about like how terrible it is.
It's already been discussed on a million different platforms. It's
going to be very hard to find something to say
about this movie that has not been said already. That
is an interesting challenge, but we at the Bechtel cast

(05:53):
are always challenging ourselves. We're always pushing it. We are wait,
we are challenged. We have a lot. I don't know.
I drag a Mike's heart before the episode started about therapist.
He's man, oh, no, I'm not doing what do not
show up to something? No, he's a phone therapist. He
lives inside my phone. And he was like, did you

(06:15):
go to the pharmacy. I was like no, and he
was like, well go. I was like, fine, what if
the character Peter from this movie was your therapist. We
don't be a psychologist Peter, even though in like two
seconds ago he was like, give me your opinion as
a psychologist. Yeah, he there's just no rhyme of reason
and like it's just everything he writes contradicts itself. Two

(06:37):
seconds later, so really quick, before I know we should
try to go into some sort of summary of this movie.
But I've seen this movie, I would guess six times
now because I've seen it twice in the past couple
of days. Is the guy in the flesh tone sweater
who shows up at the party scene. Is he supposed
to be He's supposed to be Peter. Yeah, concerned concerned

(06:59):
white shirt is what we always called him, and he
he definitely replaced Peter because I don't think Peter could
show up or something, and so that guy takes the
role of Peter, being like, you're ruining our circle of
friends and it's like, who are who are you? I
just come from absolutely nowhere. I registered with me for
the first time. On the last viewing I did this
morning of it. I was like, Oh, he's supposed to

(07:19):
be the guy that kept looking into the camera that
I thought was cute. It looks like David Wayne. I
feel like, David Wayne, you should play him? And I
don't know he well. We were talking about this when
we were watching the film in bed together, that that
guy was the most my type, and then I think
we decided that the guy who replaces that guy was
the most yours. I want to make it no one

(07:41):
in this movie. First of all, they're all what even Mark,
Mark is a Chode Brownie paper under study. He is
not rule out Chodes. I mean I wouldn't. I wouldn't
have any history. Yeah, I would still be a virgin
if there were. Don't count the sheds out this movie.

(08:06):
There's too many white people, and therefore none of them
are my type. Anyway, I guess was always white. I
honestly think he's an alien stuffed into even the sex scenes.
It's like there's like things moving under his skin. He's
literally a mannequin from the body's exhibiting. It's really so bad.
It's so bizarre. Well, he has such an alien's understanding

(08:27):
of like what masculinity is, and like, oh, I guess
men throw footballs around. Yeah, men throw footballs like love
means roses and chocolate. The chocolate scene is so weird.
When the two random people show up to make out,
they're like, they put a full pieces of chocolate like
a Snicker's bar in their mouth and then they make out.
Who has ever done that? My favorite part of that
scene don't judge I did that yesterday. My favorite part

(08:52):
of that thing is when they're burst in on by
Lisa and Lisa's mom, and then Liza's mom was like,
this is weird, this is gross, and then she sits
in what very well could be I didn't think about that,
and she's like, oh my god. I all I could
think of was with the maybe squishy noise that could
have happened. I want to hear a summer. Are you

(09:13):
gonna do? I want to hear you try, like, I
just want to hear what this This might be the
one that I don't interrupt, just to here we go.
Caitlin's famous recap The Room is about a man named
Johnny and his fiance Lisa. So far, so good. They

(09:34):
live in the room The Room, but also a lot
of the scenes take place on the roof. So I'm
waiting for a sequel called the Room. Oh my god, Yeah,
we should see what's happening on the roof during what's happening? Please? Yeah,
the roof is the roof of the room, right, Yes,
I guess they were living in an apartment building. Even

(09:56):
though they are always going directly outside, they're never going
into it. I mean it's not out of the question,
but they're always coming. They're always either in the room,
or emerging from a little shed on top of the roof,
the roof, weird aluminum shed that they all have to
like duck. If you're searching for logic or continuity, you
won't find it in this movie. Okay, but sorry, sorry.

(10:19):
So these two people have been in a relationship for
seven years between five and seven. This actress who plays
Lisa is twenty three when this movie is released, which
means crunch the number she's born in December was like,
when this movie is released, he's dating a literal child.

(10:41):
It's not good. They're in a relationship and they're engaged.
She's his future wife, is said in the movie eight thousands.
So they have sex is one of the first things.
And then in case you forget, they have the exact
they take the same footage from the same sex as
put it later. But even though they seem to be

(11:04):
in love, shortly after the first time they have sex,
Lisa talks to her mom and she's like, I don't
love him anymore. That was more life than you put
into that reading of that line. And her mom, Claudette,
is like, Johnny is good for you your financial security. Meanwhile,

(11:25):
she's calling this guy Mark who is Johnny's best friend. Again,
we only know this because it said in the movie Times.
But she has apparently been having this affair with Mark,
so she loves Mark and she doesn't love Johnny anymore.
But Johnny is busy. I'm not Johnny, Sorry, Mark busy,
I'm really busy right now. And then they also have

(11:47):
a little boy, flash college student thirty years old. His
name is Denny. Denny. He comes over and what likes
to watch them have pillow fights. Yeah, he's in love
with Lisa. He's in love with Lisa, but he also
has a girlfriend who he mentions and he's like, yeah,
I can't wait to marry her. Enough kids with her.

(12:09):
That's the idea any relationship. This premise of her not
being in love with Johnny anymore and instead of being
in love with Mark repeats itself for about forty five
minutes in a in a bunch of different vaudeville right.
Sometimes these scenes are punctuated by men tossing a football

(12:33):
around or going to a flower shop. From what I
can tell, there is not a scene that takes place
on the roof where there is not a man with
a sports ball, because the first when we see Denny
on the roof and he's in trouble with the guy
in the tank top and the beanie which Chris name
official name Chris R. Chris R has a money and

(12:57):
then that really protracted scene between Claudet and and any
of like what kind of money Danny, And he's like,
I don't know, it doesn't matter, and then they're like
what kind of money? What kind? That's like, what are
you talking about? But you would be American dollars? But
less we forget at the beginning of this seed, before

(13:18):
Chris R. Enters with his gun and his body, Um,
Danny is on the roof alone dribbling a basketball, right,
and then later Mark's got the football. Yeah, you're right,
I think every single time. But I think when Mark
and Peter up there, it's just a joint Prop and Peter.
We chance out of Mark. But that's neither here nor

(13:42):
their love. Peter he's the only one who is not
because of his very tiny glasses. He's not like the
other guys. Hall like, I leave him alone, Okay, leave
Peter out of this. There is that great one in
the first part where Tommy and Peter are king. Peter
is such a bad actor. You know, Tommy is like

(14:03):
Lisa's cheating on me, and Peters like Lisa, and the
implication is supposed to be but Lisa is such a
good person. But with the way Peter says, it just
sounds like Lisa. Does someone else want to fuck Lisa?
Like the whole time, like you just like her? Could
he keep? Yeah? Where I was like, I don't know,

(14:24):
she is cheating on me with my and then it
cuts back to Peter again He's like, wait, Lisa, really,
I was like, Okay, we get it. You don't think
Lisa's egg exact exactly, but everyone else thinks Lisa's hot
because it's again said in the movie four times. Also,
if you're having a hard time following this recap, don't worry.

(14:47):
The movie is also impossible to follow. There's one of
my favorite parts I like seeing it live was that
there is a I can't remember what scene exactly it's after,
but there is about twenty minutes where absolutely no new
ine for me is given. It's when him and Mark
are playing football and and like there's a scene with
the mom again. And that was the part they called
the seventh thing and stretch where they were like, go

(15:07):
have a cigarette break, go to the bathroom. You will
find out nothing new for the next twenty minutes or
just like hang out, and then we finally get to
the birthday party that they've been talking about for like
the entire right, Okay, So yeah, so here's what happens. Basically,
she's cheating on Johnny with Mark. Johnny overhears her talking
about this with her mother. Lisa's like, I'm in love

(15:29):
with Mark and I had sex with him. So he's
also Lisa starts talking about Johnny hitting her. She starts
making her store, but then he does push her, and
then it's like, well, I guess this has become a
non issue. She was capable. But then she also makes up.
She tells him that she was pregnant, and she's like,
I just made that up to make things more interesting.
This this batoine never comes back, not even as spoiler

(15:52):
in the end, or Johnny kills himself, never knowing if
his girlfriend's actually pregnant or not. Right right there, So
he overhears Lisa being like, I'm I had sex with Mark,
and Johnny's like, well, okay, and then he taps his
own phone. Yeah, I'll recall everything, and then later on
the party has happened. He sees them canoodling, Like Johnny

(16:16):
sees Mark and Lisa. Yeah, they're like making out and
then he and Mark fight a couple of times. Everyone
leaves and Johnny's locked himself in the bathroom and Lisa
calls Mark and she's like, I love you, I can't
just bitch. Oh yeah, He's like calling a bitch you
and your stupid mother, and she's like oh, And Mark

(16:40):
takes a total turn and he's not Johnny for anymore.
He's like, why don't you leave that looser creep? That
crevations are so weird. My favorite part of Johnny setting
up that whole tape recorder in that protracted scene that
was for some reason not edited at all where he's
making weird kissy face as while setting up a tape
recorder in two thousand and three were taper like we're

(17:02):
also read anyways, he sets that up, but what is
he hoping to discover that hasn't just been stated that?
She was like, I'm cheating on you, and he's a
proof of like a murder, Like you could just say,
I heard you said you're cheating on me, Like and
now I'm going to set something up so I find
out if she's cheating. I was like, you just already

(17:24):
at the end, and this is like a fun part
of the riff tracks too. He sneaks back up the
stairs when he knows snow one is there. Well. He
also takes out the tape after like weeks of it
being recorded on one like this. This audio cassette automatically
fast forwards to the pertinent parts. Also, it's capable of

(17:44):
recording hundreds of hours of us. I mean, it knows
there's there's a I at work here. Let's bring into it.
Let's bring him And where where is he? I know
where story He's a near right now. Well, we'll be
there soon. We can hang out with him. He he

(18:05):
wants nothing to do with me. I just have to
accept it. Have you tried to contact him? Oh? Yes,
oh man. And at this point it's like, you have
very strange taste. I really love Haley Dog. You're like
Tommy Uzzo and he's Lisa. He's successible. If I feel
like you could find Peter pretty easily from the movie,
Peter's hundred percent around. I found recent pictures of him

(18:27):
and he looks the same. Oh good, well anyways, so
basically he lets press on. Johnny records this conversation where
Lisa calls Mark and it's like I love you and
Johnny sucks, and then he has this recording and then
he freaks out. He trashes a room. Lisa's like, I'm
leaving you. She leaves, Johnny kills himself. He sucks, he

(18:50):
humps her dress and then he and then he shoots
himself in the head. Mark, Lisa and Denny I'll come back.
They're like, is he asleep? Wake up? Wait? Is hest upset?
That like not the whole cast of the movie, because
like Claude to come in and just be like, what's

(19:10):
going on here? Like Claudette, she might be my favorite character. Yeah,
and that's the story. Uh, that was pretty concise. I know.
It feels like we spoiled the n by saying he
kills himself, But I forget every time I watch it
that that's what happens, because there's just so much. It
has almost no bearer. You did too when we were
watching it and you're like like two years and I

(19:32):
was I was like, oh, yeah, that is how it
well because it has no consequences. Then, like I guess
Mark is like, well, I don't actually, but that has
I mean, not that anyone's emotionally engaged with this story,
but like no one gives a funk that Mark takes
no responsibility at any point, Like it's it's so funny

(19:53):
how every point like after he and Lisa funk for
what we understand it's happened before. And then he's just like,
I can't believe that happened, And I was just like, you,
you're fucking his best friend. You willingly participated first of all, Marcus,
I got I got in there, I got mixed up,
but it was like it was like she he's acting

(20:14):
at every point where I was just like Lisa just
like tripped and fell on his deck, and he's just like,
I don't understand how this happened. Well, she's like she
seduces him like fourteen different times, and each time he's like,
what's going on. He's like, have you I don't even
know if he's a misogynist, he might just be dumb
as rocks. He's very stupid. He's very stupid. Everyone they're
all very stupid. And let's use this as an opportunity

(20:36):
to transition into the conversation about women. So we have
like three three Lisa the main character. We'll get into her,
then her mother Claudette, and her Michelle. I also like
a lot well Michelle. Michelle's like the best actress in

(20:57):
the entire Yes, yes, that's it. That is true. That
factors into it. Yeah, maybe it's just because she has
so little screen time. We don't, right, She's up against
a lot that has been said below a surface level.
So she does fine. Right, But if we're just sort
of giving an overview of these characters, Lisa is like,

(21:20):
I mean, Lisa's probably like so they call her a
sociopath in it, yes, but her character arc makes no sense.
I guess she's like she's actively right exactly. So, I mean, again,
this is like a crazy movie to talk about because
usually we're discussing movies that have like gone through a
couple of drafts. They've attempted like a full character for her.

(21:45):
Draft of this movie was a six hundred page book.
I'm not surprised because he doesn't cut. I don't think
he cuts anything. The deleted scenes on the DVD are
just the same scenes that were shot somewhere else, So
he did not anybody was shot in thirty five millimeter
and digital digital at the same time, cameras next to
each other, and there are some shots where apparently neither

(22:08):
of the shots are focused being turned in. It's a boy.
So Lisa is, yeah, I suppose a sociopath, even though
it just sort of seems like she doesn't love Johnny
anymore and she'd rather be with Mark, but she's manipulating
definitely Johnny. But either way, her character is poised. Is

(22:29):
this like very she's bored and she's just trying to
mix it up, I mean, and she would be bored
because she we never see her outside of that house.
Literally the only information we get about her outside world
is that she says, you're right, the computer business is tough,
and that's what apparently her job is trying to get.
She's trying to break into the computer business because she's like,

(22:50):
I didn't talk to anybody today, Like, yeah, she's very isolated,
and Denny and Johnny are like her, only Denny. Did
They find Denny just like masturbating in a librari somewhere
and they're just like, you're aiming and he's like, I'm fourteen,
but he's clearly like twenty eight she's like, oh, yeah,
you just got the little penis haircut that goes a

(23:11):
long way down the middle in the middle like old
school JT two the point I'm trying to middle. It's
a big old middle part. Yeah. All of the female
characters are either so like Lisa, she's selfish, she's a freeloader.
She's callous with people's feelings. She's very conniving and scheming,
she's manipulating everyone. Meanwhile, her mom is like controlling, she's overbearing,

(23:37):
she's judgmental. And then Michelle again like doesn't really have
a personality. She sort of is. She also doesn't come
into like kind of right, and she has like three
scenes only handful of lines, like she's trying to handle
the she's trying to be like Lisa. What. Yeah, she's
kind of the moral center for She's like but she
also fluctuates in the space of one scene where Lisa's

(24:00):
he's hitting me, and then two seconds later she's like, oh,
but no, you can't break his heart, and it's like, Michell,
she just said even though it wasn't true until it
was later, and then I mean, your friend just said
that her fiance's hitting right, He's like but you Ke's
so excited for the wedding. It's like, man, everyone sucks
every Yeah, that's basically the everyone sucks is that everyone? Yeah,

(24:25):
the men and the women. But the women are poised
as these evil succubis, controlling, manipulative beings, which is pretty
clearly how Tommy women who broke his heart. I want
to meet her. Oh my god, who this could have
been in the Victorian era, because no one knows how
old he is. Yeah, he's very mysterious figure what he knows,

(24:48):
where he's from. It turns out the birthday I turned
up for him is strictly speculative. He won't tell anyone else.
The one I found on Wikipedia apparently is like not confirmed.
It's this speculated. If I had to in this movie
looking at him, if I had to guess, I would
say he's fifty two. But he looks this exactly the same. Now, Yeah,

(25:09):
an alien. I do think he's name. I think honestly,
he might just be like a bunch of sentience, like
sewn together chicken cutlets. Yeah, it just snakes stuff into
people's We're doing an episode I think pretty soon of
Men in Black. I think he's like like a little
alien creature. He's like operating a giant what they think

(25:33):
is a human god. That would be so if he
showed up in a Men in Black like sequel, that
would be so funny. Will Smith get on that? Yeah, Basically,
Tommy does not see women as good people, nice people,
maybe not even people. He definitely sees himself as very perfect.
Like it's like I'm a provider and he's the victim

(25:54):
of this scheme and he's like he has all these things,
just like I'm an incredible lover. Like he's like, I
love I love you Danny. I want to adopt Danny.
You know. He's always trying to give these weird speeches
about how like how if everybody just loved each other
the world would be a better place that. And then
there's a scene between um Lisa and her mom where

(26:16):
for the first few beats of that, Lisa's like, oh,
Johnny hit me, and I don't love him anymore and
he's boring and I hate him. And then Danny shows
up and her mom's like, what's this kid's deal? And
then Lisa like does a complete one eighteen and she's like,
Johnny is so generous and he's paying for his college
tuition and he's a really caring person. Why why Like

(26:38):
there's no consistency, of course there's not in this movie.
But Tommy is always like my character is the best
because I I'm the best gay. There's a bunch of
lines that I wrote down, Like when Lisa's doing her
weird whatever it is she's doing, there's like several times
where she makes these broad statements of all women. Meanwhile,

(27:01):
every time Marcus ownscreeny is like, I don't understand when
they're so confusing and women are dress I'm so busy.
What does he say? He's like, they're either psychos out there.
I wrote it. I just can't figure women out. Sometimes
they're too smart, sometimes they're just flat out stupid. Other
times they're dressed evil, which is just like, oh, this

(27:22):
is just a thesis statement of how Tommy was so
understands women. And then later on Lisa when she's having
her crazy moments, you know, Tommy comes in when Michelle
is you know, they're drinking wine and their wax fruit
is on the table and they have like an above
they have a shot from like teetering above them like

(27:43):
this in the fucking war room, and Michelle's like, poison
this weird thing, and Tommy comes into what secrets are
you thinking about? And then Lisa's like, it's between us
women like these like it's girl secrets. Yeah, it's girl talk.
I just told you that. And then what do you
think women change their minds all the time? It's just

(28:06):
like and then then I guess I also wrote down
how people view women or how like whenever someone's like,
this is how women are, right, it happens eight thousand times.
One of the first times it happens is where Lisa
is talking about her mom, I think to Mark and

(28:26):
she's like, she's a stupid bitch and she wants to
control my life. And then Johnny and Peter, and then
later Mark comes into the scene. But Johnny is like,
I don't understand women, do you, Peter? And then Peter says,
what man does in my professional opinion and my professional
opinion as a trained psychologist, what man? And then Johnny says,

(28:52):
they never say what they mean and they always play games.
And then Mark shows up. And then Mark and he
was like, women are confused. Women confused me? And then
he sort of mentions that he has a woman, and
Johnny wants to meet her, and then Mark's like, no,
it's an awkward situation. Johnny says, do you mean she's
too old? Or you think I would take her away

(29:14):
from you? The only two options that a woman, A
living gargoyle was like, is she do all? That's a
perfect Like, yeah, that that's all women can be to me.
They're too old or I have to have the chance
to steal them. But I love that. Okay. So it
is repeatedly vaguely referenced that Johnny works at a bank, right,

(29:39):
and I think he works as a gargoyle on this
side of Oh my God, he's totally a gargoyle and
he just crawls out of the third story when because
he says, there's a part where they're like, oh, did
you get the promotion? He's like, no, but they've already
put my ideas into practice. So it probably means like, yeah,

(30:00):
I came up with ideas to get the pigeons away
from from the bank from crawling after. How would you
promote a guard I don't know, but a garboil in
a tie, now that's fuckable. That's amazing, especially if the
tie ends up on the hell ladies head. You have

(30:23):
great legs, you have great pigs. I love that scene
where they're where all the guys are talking about women
is one of my favorites because they are like, how
did you meet Lisa meet? And it's the story is like, well,
I moved to San Francisco, I had no money, and
I had a two thousand dollars check and I couldn't
cash it. And anyway, I saw Lisa sitting she was

(30:44):
having a coffee. She's so beautiful, and that's how we met.
And they're like, what, but what was weird about? And
she's like, oh, on the first date she paid yea,
so good for Lisa. Yeah, autonomy, she I know, but
also he could be her, Like, okay, if I didn't
deal like she was that young in it, right, if
she's twenty two, I don't. We don't know how old

(31:05):
Lisa's supposed to be, but the actress is twenty two.
And at the end, at some point in the middle
of the movie they do say five years, but then
by the end they're saying seven years. It feels like
the movie last for two years. So I guess, yeah,
we don't know the timeline for sure, but with that logic,
Tommy Wise, who is at least a hundred years old,

(31:28):
has been dating her since she was fifteen years old
when he first spotted her in that coffee shop. It's
the whole Edward Cullen bella swan thing all over again,
but worse. But that's with a cadaver and he's not
even hot. It's okay anytime somewhere like a guy with

(31:48):
long hair dyes that hair jet black. It is the
most off putting thing I can possibly think of. It's wait,
here are a few more mentions of how women are
women be confusing. There's a scene where Mark and Johnny
are in a what I can only assume is a

(32:10):
cheesecake shop. Everyone's and Mark talk about Lisa's pizza order.
So yeah, Mark goes, I'm so tired of girls. Games,
relationships never work. It's interesting because I do want to know.
I mean, obviously there's a lot I want to know
about Tommy Rozo, but I would love to know his
history with women, because he obviously is very off putting,

(32:33):
is a human being, and I think pursues women, probably
very intensely, and they're like fuck no into him. He's like, oh,
she's playing a game. It's like no, you're fucking terrified.
She genuinely it does not want to be around you.
And he's like, oh, the process in he's like doing
a dozen red roses or whatever. He's probably dropped off

(32:53):
so many roses to so many women. He's spending eighteen
dollars all over the place. Do you think I feel
like he took that weird? Okay, here's our here's our
Fantom of the Opera Tuno thousand four Joel Schumacher efforts
of the episode. They have a weird Phantom of the
Opera candelabra in the bedrooms, very Phantom of the Opera, like, yeah,
and it's always lit, like when even when their ship

(33:16):
drunk on whiskey vodka, the Phantom of the Opera candelabra,
all forty five candles are lit. And they also have
that like rain window machine. Yeah, it's very like Pier
One set lots of candles and like weird waterfalls and
the canopy bed The budget for this movie was six

(33:38):
million dollars. What six million dollars? Which and that's one
of the other big mysteries, as no one knows that
he has gotten Tommy Wiou said that he might have
raised it through a leather jacket business. But that's as
close as anyone's gotten to finding out. I wonder he
must have just been like independently wealthy. Also, he could
have been working a minimum wage job for three hundred years.

(34:01):
We don't know. That's probably we've just been saving his
pennies for this master pook. Yeah, all this money. I
would like to say that if I had been given
this draft of the script, I would have written great
coverage on it. I could have found ways to make
it into something that resembles a movie. Could you have
punched up the line me underwears you know what? I

(34:22):
would have left that exactly as is. I love that too.
This is one of the only movies I've seen where
you see an entire scene play out and then someone
describes the entire scene later. I don't think I have
ever seen that happen in a movie, right, because it's
not supposed to know you know what? Repeaid information eight
thousand times the underwears that guy? What is that guy's deal?
He was plugged out of a UCB three oh one

(34:45):
class and frosted tips from two thousand three, which, like
I feel like was over by then. But I think so.
It guys well, at least where I where I was living,
frost tips were thriving into the late I guess they
were still. It just feels, well, what using about him
and his character and how we meet him is that
he and Michelle come into the room and it's room

(35:08):
that we're talking about, the room or is it the
upstairs room? Bad things that's in the room. I think
it's I think it's the main downstairs, Yeah, the downstairs pictures. Honestly,
the movie should have been called The Apartment, which leads
me to, well, Mike and Michelle come into that apartment

(35:28):
to have sex. But it's like, do they have some
sort of arrangement where they the room out sitting Well,
that's another thing. It's like when Lisa comes in from
a more lit area, we don't know exactly where she
reacts to them fucking on her couch the same way
as she reacts to finding out her mother has cancer,

(35:50):
which is don't worry about it. Yeah, people say, don't
worry about it so much. He never I realized he
never answers a question in the movie, Like even when
one time when Denny says, what movie are we going
to see? He goes, don't worry about it. He couldn't
even bother to write the movie title, Like things don't
always work out as plant, Like what do you don't

(36:11):
want to date this movie in time at all? And
like but people have frosty tips and flesh colored sweaters.
We know when this is taking place. I do think
like talking about red and coverage and like helping it
become a better movie. It is because it's obviously very
like lifetime movie esque and you know all those kind
of like older Lifetime movies where the woman was like
this manipulative you know, woman who's kind of like taking

(36:33):
over and like it like has that essence that it
could have been that if somebody had taken the reins
and fixed it right, Because so what do we know
about because I didn't do any research about the development
or production or anything on this movie. Was Tommy? Was
he like an authoritarian sort of? Yes, he was authoritarian

(36:54):
and he also couldn't do anything like so The Disaster Artist,
which is coming out as a movie, is a bookten
by Greg Cistero, who plays Mark, but also if you
look in the credits, is the line producer and assistant
to Tommy. Was right, like he had to wake Tommy
was up every day. Yeah, so he like, I didn't
manage the butt. He basically became friends with Greg Cicero

(37:15):
and was like, I want to make this movie blah
blah blah, and yeah we just totally like I think,
you know, had his hands in every single part. Would
never you know, had to have it his way, but
also a terrible actor who made everything go like that
scene where he comes out on the roof and it's like,
I did not hit her. I did not. They apparently
had they had to do like dozens and dozens of
times because he could not do the line, but it

(37:37):
still seems to be eighty and then it's still dubbed
over she like when the line could have just been
like I didn't hit her, like assistance and over complicating
all the dialogue is hilarious. And then I love how
like eight percent of the dialogue in this movie is
just like unnecessary throat clearing, high are you? I'm good?

(38:00):
How are you? And then the rest of it is
like insanely on the nose kind of funny what or
definitely he had he's my best friend. Oh you're my
future wife? Right, I have cancer, don't worry about it
that I got the results of the test back. Definitely.
I love Claudette. Claudet is great. She lists that up

(38:24):
like any of her fours. I got the test back.
I I definitely have breast cancer. I'm so glad I
divorced that other guy. And then later on the movie
she's like, I'm tired. I'm blah blah blah. I was like, yeah,
because you have cancer, but it's never been a tough time. Well,
I feel like Tommy was like, we gotta throw more

(38:46):
drama into this. Make the mom have breast cancer, make
Denny be involved in some drug scheme, like yeahs off
but yeah, but he's like, I know there should be drama,
So I'm just gonna like he just like threw the
plots of every just like scrambled around a bunch of
words and we're like, okay, drugs, cancer, cheating, Diana Beanie

(39:10):
psychologist And even that shot where it seems like Mark
might throw Peter off off and it makes eye contact
with the camera and then it's like, oh no, he's fine,
and then Mark sorry that into a fight with a

(39:31):
friend and almost throwing them off. Don't worry about it anyways.
I will say, Okay, for some more background, I was
doing research and the actress who plays Lisa, and she
has done her darnedist to try, yeah, but at least

(39:53):
to hopefully like because a lot of like the early
stuff for this movie, from what from what I was reading,
was like, I mean, people were making fun of her obviously,
but they were also like making fun of her body
and all this stuff, and she was like, I hope
that I can turn this into a thing about body.
Did she try to do that? She did. I wouldn't

(40:13):
say she was necessarily successful, but I would like to
cite the fact that she did attempt to say, hey,
my body is not the worst part of this movie
by a long shot, because I guess like the very
early early early people to this movie were like, especially
I think the screen yeah there it was like some

(40:33):
mean stuff at the screen people yellow. Yeah. I can
see it both ways, where it's like there being no
meaner to her than they would be to Tommy wise. Oh,
but also like she's she's just on screen. It's not
like she's not sucking up, she's just being there, and
she's basically a kid being humped by this fucking stone

(40:54):
ghool I would love to see her like in something else,
because when I watch it again, like her acting isn't great,
but she's given such bad stuff that sometimes her acting
is okay in the movie, it's just like the material
is so bad that I would like to see her
in something she moved back a long time ago. I'm sure, yeah,

(41:15):
this this wrecked her. I did see so like the
last time I looked her up, which was a few
years ago, so probably happening where she was trying to
sell paintings of spoons and footballs and stuff she was
making of the room related. I guess, I mean, I
guess if like Greg is it Cistero. If Greg Cistero
can sell a book to James Franco, sure sell a

(41:38):
painting of a spoon, why not Jesus Chris Well. One
of my favorite parts of the movie is when it's
either the first or second time that Johnny and Mark
get into a fist fight at the same party, but
something gets knocked over or broken or glass gets broken
or something like that, and then they sort of calmed

(41:58):
down and then Johnny goes to Lisa. Lisa clean that up,
because like, that's that is in the story. Women be cleaning,
women be scheming, and that's all women are going for.
And then we already kind of touched on this, but
like eight different characters throughout the course of the movie,
some of them more than once would be like, Lisa,

(42:20):
you're so beautiful, she's looking so hot tonight. You look
great in a red dress, which is like, okay, fine,
but red means she's bad. Sorry. Um, it's fine to
tell a woman she's beautiful, I suppose, but if that's
the only thing about her that they're ever commenting on,

(42:40):
to be fair, she provides something, nothing else other than
she might be seeking a job in the computer business.
But you're right, because Tommy is like, oh, he's provides,
he's got he's listening this to this, and she's got
nothing besides right, okay. So it's established early on, and
then it keeps being repeated, especially by Claudette. The it
Lisa can't provide for herself. We don't know why or

(43:04):
why Cloud believes this is true, so vehemently run it's
getting divorced. Like what are you doing, Claude up, Yeah,
besides purchasing cream colored pants. But like, sure, maybe Lisa's
struggling to find work in the computer business, but also
like she seems perfectly capable to find work elsewhere, you know,

(43:27):
some other flower shops, at the shops. Tommy's got friends everywhere.
Johnny's like trying at the flower shop, but instead she
stays in the room all day, And it's like, why
would you? Like I was like, are you just sweeping?

(43:49):
Your friends come around, like what are you sweeping? Clearly filthy,
like it's a filthy place. She also can't unload grocery
and talk at the same time. She has to pull
something out of a bag and I'm looking out for
number one pulls out of another bag of chips, wouldn't you?

(44:12):
But it's so it's just unclear why the choice was made,
as with any choice in this movie, why she is
incapable of providing for herself or holding down a job
or anything like that. But it's like the whole thing
is like she has to stay with Johnny because he
provides for her at his gargoyle job at the bank.

(44:32):
So she's just been with him for so long since
she was fifteen, that she's just used to him providing
her with all the necessary carbs and plastic apple she
needs to survive, and she just I guess does the
vodka there's bottles of whiskey, there's I think she found
the bottle of vodka outside it was Denny's. There's a

(44:54):
good fan theory where Denny is Lisa's dad, and that's
why saying I went back and every scene between Denny
and Lisa's mom, for some reason, is very contentious and
like she she's like, who's that? And then he's like,
you're not my mom and she's like, my fucking mom, right,
You're not my fucking mom. It's like because she's his whoa.

(45:18):
Also she's like, don't you have a kitchen in your
own house? Because he comes into borrow half a cup
of sugar and butter, do you obviously turn into some
sinister sex instrument? I really like I like that scene
a lot because like Denny comes in this right after
they find Mike and Michelle making out, and then Denny
comes in and Clauda is like, this is worse than

(45:40):
Grand Central Station, and you know that Tommy thought that
was the funniest line he had ever written. He was like,
now this is and it was just like if you
were I were a burglar, you'd be my best friend.
Like I feel like I'd never even occurred to me
that those were supposed to be funny. I think I
think it's supposed to be funny. And then but then

(46:01):
the response to like, what is this Grand Central's Asia,
Like Danny's sort of like, oh, because I'll come back
for this man. I would pay so much money to
see between them. I love. That was the only one
that jumped out of me, as like, we don't know
how all Denny is. We just don't know it. He's
like the he's like the opposite of Tommy on the

(46:23):
on the Benjamin Button scale. They're both kind of just
like exactly crossing each other with the body. And then
Danny's first scene, he's just like, but I wouldn't want
you guys fun And then they're like, oh Denny, Denny,
Johnny goes to was great, but three is a crowd,
you know that famous saying it goes exactly like that.

(46:46):
That's how I get out, So you want me to leave?
And he was like, ha, ha, that's the idea, the idea. Oh.
My favorite line in the entire movie is when Michelle
comes in and Lisa and Mark were about to have
sex and his like pants are undone and she goes hey,
X Y Z and he's like, what are you talking about?

(47:07):
And she's like, examine your zipper. That is, which totally
goes against what you would say earlier, which was like,
don't cheat on Johnny. But then she's like, well, I mean,
if they're already going to do it, she's got to
help her friends. I think she was saying examine your zipper,
like about their whole thing. She was like, the zipper
is your life, and your zipper zipper of your soul.

(47:33):
You know. I love Michelle. She were so much pleather.
I love her. I love her. My other favorite scene
is when they're at the cheesecake factory and Johnny's like, oh, yeah,
we got this new client to the bank. I can't
talk about it as confidential anyway, how's your sex life?
Just like the most insane. I would love to copy

(47:55):
a bunch of those lines and just go on a
date and like completely used all of those just free.
I think I will. My favorite line is in that
same scene between Michelle and Lisa, where Lisa's just saying
like I love cheating on Johnny blah blah blah, Mark's hot,

(48:16):
and then Michelle says, your point of view is so
different from mine. And then these two scenes back to
back are amazing because it's like the scene of what
Tommy was that thinks female friendship is like, which is
a woman being like, I'm terrible, aren't we all ands?
Like secret? And then cut to Tommy was this version

(48:39):
of what he thinks male friendship is like, which is
jogging around talking about stocks with Mark. That's the thing
about this movie, like, women are not portrayed well by
any stretch. However, neither are the male except one portrayed
except for Johnny's character, who was like put in this

(49:00):
pedestal and it's like, I'm just the victim, I'm the provider,
I'm a great guy, and I'm all I'm caring for everyone,
but everyone portrayed me apart from that, which is like, man,
I gotta love that self indulgent bullshit from a male writer, director, producer, actor,
But I mean, he clearly has no understanding of character
development or storytelling in general. So it's hard to be like, well,

(49:24):
the women aren't portrayed well, because well, neither are the men.
But he doesn't seem to have an extremely limited understanding
of how women think and interact. And relate to each
other and to other people. Right, exactly. Again, he is
an alien and he does not understand human interaction in general.

(49:44):
He said, so many millennia to observe humans, it's amazing
he doesn't understand them better. True, he's perched up there
seeing him in person or anything. No, does he live
in l A. I think so. I mean he's I
don't think they do the midnight screens anymore. But he
used to be there every week and he wears like
five belts at once. It's very weird. He wears like

(50:06):
five different studded belts, all kind of like criss crossing
over his body. I've heard, I've seen like pictures of him.
I I almost saw him once many years ago in Boston,
but then I didn't. But like he has toured with it, right, Yeah,
he's gone aroun with it. I just once I was
like home once, I was about to settle in and
like show the guy I was dating Friday Night Lights

(50:26):
for the first time. We were about to like get in.
It's like a big commitment. And then I got a
text from Test who's my coast and ladies lady that's
like I'm at a party that Tommy was a was
at and I was like, this is a fucking crossroads.
Do I go to this party right now? Wait? Did
you go? Yeah? Okay, of course I had to, and
it was we were like, we have to go Frida
Atlantes will be yeah. Yeah, But we just showed up
to this random party, like did shot to Tommy was

(50:48):
own two pictures of him and then left. Do you
have the pictures? Yeah, you guys can put it on
out of those. It's really funny. Um, I wish I
had hung out. Now in retrospect, we should hung out
the party and tried to get drunk with him, but
I didn't. I was focused on getting back. I mean,
does anyone have any other thoughts about the portrayal of

(51:10):
women in the movie? I will say, see it like,
I feel bad if you haven't seen it, because it's
it's very obviously like you said, it's like very confused,
hard to follow us if you have, but you have,
just see it. Just sucking. Give it to watch, Give
a watch with your friends. It's a really fun, stupid
movie to watch. Enjoyed watching this more than I enjoyed really,
So yeah, it's one of the most fun bad movies

(51:30):
of all time, I think so, speaking of really bad movies,
I saw most of the movie called Titanic Too last night,
which I break it down, is it like a Titanic
to like to the James Cameron movie or just to
the event to the event, although there are many different
visuals and lines of dialogue that are directly lifted from

(51:54):
James Cameron's Titanic, where the story is like there's a
group of like coast guard people in scientists who are
sort of tracking this giant glacier and like ships falling
off of it, like big chunks of ice are falling
off of it and creating these tsunami tsunamis, that's the
technical term. They're creating these tsunamis that are sucking everything

(52:16):
up in the Atlantic Ocean. Meanwhile, Titanic to a ship
that was created to sail across the ocean? Who's going
to get on that? By the way, we're really gonna
be like, yeah, let me buy a fucking ticket to
Titanic too. There were a more ominous name for any fuck,
the Challenger, the Challenge Challenges. So there's this all these

(52:42):
people on board the Titanic two and the icebergs start
to fall off into the water, but it's not really
the The ship hits an iceberg, but that's not really
the threat. Seems to be more of the tsunamis that
are happening anyways. Is like a sci fi Channel movie,
like what it's like, Oh, Shane van Dyke, which I

(53:03):
think might be Dick Van Dyke's offspring or grandson or
something like that, directed it. And then it's like a
very like da most yeah, exactly, like most of the
ship is like c G. I'ed very poorly, but it's
a It's incredible. It's my new favorite movie. Check out
Titanic too, and uh borrow it at your local library today.

(53:26):
I will say, um, I watched The Room last night
with a guy, and uh, I didn't want. I didn't
want to start making out during it because I'm so
worried about one of the fucking sex scenes starting because
in the movie all the sex scenes have moaning put
over them. Yeah, r moaning of Mark going like four
months later. Yeah, And I was like, I can't afford

(53:51):
to start making out with this guy and having like
one of these weird sex scenes start because they happened
every few minutes when you at least expect it because
it's always like, oh, finally one ended. We have at
least twenty minutes, but you never do. I mean that
the first one is three minutes in and then at
lasts for like seven minutes. And I tweeted last night
that I was like, oh, what's the opposite of an awakening?

(54:13):
Because I just saw the room for the first time
and now I'm in a sexual coma. So there's a
great tweet. Follow me on Twitter at Caitlin Darante. Anyway, Oh,
should we talk about whether or not the movie passes
the Bechdel test amazingly? Yeah? It does, right? Did they
talk about that she talks with Claude about like work

(54:34):
and business, and there's there's I I say, it passes
surely on the amount of filler dialogue in this movie.
But it does pass on the first scene with two women. Yeah,
there are. Honestly, I am very surprised. I was. I
counted all the scenes where women are interacting, and there
are like ten or eleven scenes where when you edit

(54:55):
nothing out of your movie, ye pass the Bechdel test
if you leave absolutely over the A lot of them
are duplicate, exactly like Lisa and her mom have the
same conversation where Lisa's like, I don't love Johnny anymore
and her mom's like, well, you need to stay with
him for some financial security. That conversation happens like four times.
So most of the scenes they are talking about a
whole flew of men, either Johnny or Mark or Denny

(55:18):
or one of her mom's sex husband or her brother. Yeah,
men get talked about a lot, but yeah. The first scene,
Lisa's mom comes in and Lisa's like, hi, Mom, how
are you. She's like fine, how are you? Okay, let's
go sit on the couch less actor and she's like, well, now,

(55:40):
what's happening with you? Oh? Nothing much? Do you want
some coffee? What's wrong? I don't feel good today? And
then they start talking about how she doesn't love Johnny anymore.
But the first few those exchanges of first few lines
of dialogue, past the backdo test, and then pretty much
every scene after that where women are talking, because then
Lisa talks to her mom a bunch more times, leads

(56:01):
the talks to Michelle a bunch of times. They almost
always are talking about some combination of Johnny or Denny
or Mark, but like very barely passes. Barely. Yeah, but
it's crazy to think that The Room, the best movie
ever made, passes the Bechdel test. It really and and
like multiple times, right, because there's a few other like

(56:23):
scenes that will there either be talking about a guy
and then the topic shifts to then they started talking
about Lisa, and then they have a pillow fight out
of nowhere, or they start talking about something else and
then they transition into talking about Johnny or something. But yeah,
it happens a few different times where they're not talking
about a man the whole time. And also, to be fair,

(56:45):
while most of the time, if there are women talking
to each other, they are talking about one of the
male characters, but the reverse of that is when the
men are talking to each other, they're often talking about Lisa.
It's either stocks or mostly Lisa, and are to qualify
the qualification talking about either how confusing or what a bit? Yeah,

(57:07):
she gets called a bitch, a tramp, all different names,
but I would also say she'd called confusing just as
many times. It's just I feel like it's just like
a weird mirror. He just doesn't Yeah, he's like so confusing, right,
He's like she's a bitch, But also I don't get it,
and I wish I understood. He used to take like

(57:30):
some gender studies classes. Yeah, yeah, go to the college
that Denny's at taking class. You're paying, might as well
sit it. You can see you can. God, I don't
know words what it is. Denny majoring in. I think
I think baking. The baking that they had to borrow

(57:52):
all the sugar and the butter for homework. Yeah, for homework.
I mean he's he bought drugs to sell drugs so
that he could make money. Even though Johnny's paying for
small business arts. He's studying business. He knows all about
he get it. Whatever happened to Chris are though, Um,
I mean, I feel like he's definitely started a rapping

(58:13):
career because he was very he was very eminem inspired.
He was provided with the wardrobe to start a wrapping
career in two thousand and three. He and the gun
that he pulls on Denny is the same gun that
Johnny shoots himself with. They clearly had one prop gun
on set and they're like, well, well, I mean Chris
did get arrested apparently, like we'll take him to the police,

(58:35):
so maybe they just were like, man, we'll just keep
us around, you know, because burglars obviously want to come
in and out of the room. You gonna have a gun.
But they have a way of getting up to the roof. Right.
I made a list of things I thought the room
might smell, like, oh no, well that's the upstas the
bedroom is the room the bedroom when all the room
is downstairs. But also I guess they could probably could

(58:57):
be connected because they're connected by a spiral staircase. By
don't think there's a door. I don't think it is. Well,
now there is a door, because we see when he
that seem me like see his dick. Basically he gets one.
He's going into the bathroom, though I think he went
into the bathroom. I made a list of cat food, jerky,
curdled gravy. There's a cat in there somewhere, it's living

(59:22):
or dead, uh, spilled laundry, detergent that someone spills cereal,
and the floor is to nails. A dog visited this
apartment three years ago and ship somewhere. There's at least
four chain wallets somewhere in this apartment. Someone at one
point spilled a vat of vinegar and somewhere. Oh, and

(59:44):
this was something we talked about when we were watching
the movie together. All of the furniture in this movie
is covered in brown sheets, and I presume underneath plastic sheet.
In Kids, someone just has someone himself over. They rent
out that couples to come in and fuck everything the apartment.

(01:00:05):
But they were but which At first I was like, oh,
low budget, they're probably renting the furniture. But then it
was like you find out there's a six million dollar
budget and they were filming these cow just covered in
sheets and digital like, Yeah, that was a deliberate choice
for some reason. And also I said it might smell
like misty Mental one twenties, which is the cheapest but

(01:00:26):
most fami form of cigarettes. Fun fact, my mom's I
feel like also a lot of dead flowers. Well, obviously
the row pedals all over the place. There's certainly not
an air conditioner in this place. What about We didn't
talk about the music the place soundtrack the plays during

(01:00:49):
the sex scenes vaguely Eastern. I own the soundtrack someone
someone gave it to me as a gift. They found
it like goodwill. But I get the songs in my head,
the rose one is get like I was singing to
it last night next to that guy. I think he
thought I was sucking insane. The music is like, yeah,

(01:01:10):
I want to know about the soundtracks. I want to
know if you hired like one band to write at
all or what impossible to say impossible, I don't care
enough to do the research. It's out there. If you
want to find it, go find it. To find it,
find it, get finger to that song, go crazy? Why not?
Or finger someone to that song? Right right, let's not

(01:01:31):
limit you. You're simultaneous. It's the finger yourself. I've never
pulled that off. Usually, when it's like we're going to
do it at the same time, one person is like,
I'm not really going to do it though, But you know,
maybe you're not like me. Maybe you can actually pull
off your end of the bargain. Yeah, yeah, at least
push yourself for Tommy's sake, right, Challenge yourself, just as

(01:01:54):
Tommy is challenged by the English language and human behavior.
Challenge yourself. Shall we write the movie, Oh my god, million,
Let's write the movie on our nipple scale. We determine
how the movie fares based on its portrayal of women
zero to five nipples. I mean, there are two nipples

(01:02:14):
in the well, two female nipples in the movie. Wee
bundle of nipples and but it's really just Lisa's nipples
feel and um, and Mike figures out how to put
a Mike nimples Mike Frosty tips nipples. So we see
eight nipples, which is the number of nipples a single

(01:02:36):
cat has. There, it is there, it is cat facts
with Caitlin. Anyway, I'm gonna give it. I mean, I
can't give it any more than zero, Like it's zero's nipples.
Like it's no, okay, you do whatever you want. I'm
gonna give it zero nipples. Um. We can't even really
seriously discuss this movie in any way because it barely

(01:02:59):
is a movie. Fee but it's clear that the creator
of this movie does not see women is dynamic, multidimensional people.
He's just like they confusing. They're confusing, manipulative, traitors, shrews.
I only care about taking my money. They're too smart,

(01:03:19):
they're too dumb, or they're just crazy or yeah. I
mean that. Plus the movie being easily the one of
the worst movies I've ever seen. Four times and one
part times. You love this movie it goes without saying
that it's the worst thing ever, and it does not
treat women well. It doesn't treat men well either. But

(01:03:44):
it's just a stupid, stupid movie. And it gets zero nipples,
and those nipples belong to oh there aren't any, so
they don't belong to anybody. I'll say three nipples this well,
and I'll say two nipples, and like a few like
aerial bumps. Is that a thing? A couple of aerial
goose bumps? All these I don't know, I think, so

(01:04:06):
whatever they are, you know what I mean? Um, so
to full nipples and a few little bumpies? Why so many?
Because in this movie it's just a personal thing. It's
it's like I've had a lot of really really fun
experiences in my life with this movie, and so I
can't help but relate it to that, you know, lots
of different experiences of friends and like some good nostalgia

(01:04:28):
for me with this movie, and just it's unlike anything
I've ever seen. I can't you know, I mean, obviously
related to the point of the podcast, it's not it
does not probably get any nipples, but it's so hard
to qualify because it's such nonsense that I'll give it
a pass in that point, I'm going to give it
a nipple and a half. And this is I will

(01:04:49):
acknowledge apologist to an extent. But I don't think that
Tommy was Out does not want to understand women. I
think that he does. He would, like in a perfect world,
he would understand how women work, but the way it's
portrayed in this movie is not. But like he just

(01:05:10):
doesn't anything. But I feel like at least he expresses
through every male character and what are women like? It's confusing?
What isn't confusing? Jogging, sports balls, roofs, banking, like these
things he understands. It does pass the Backtel test a
number of times, which probably says more to the flaws

(01:05:30):
of the Battel test than anything else. But I think
Tommyzzo would like to understand how women are. He never will.
It won't happen. It's crazy because he will live at
least another five years. Never will. But men don't understand women.
What man does? What my boyfriend, that's Peter, that's the

(01:05:52):
name of Peter's like book. He was like, what man does? Like, yeah,
understanding women? He appears on Oprah time. I'll give it
a nipple and a half. One I'm going to give
to Lisa's just because I can summon the image of
it to my mind so quickly. And then the other
half I'm gonna give to Peter because we never get

(01:06:16):
to see his nipples, but you know, they're weird. I
feel like they look just like his face, like a
miniature version of this. Yeah, like it's yeah, it's a
mirror version of his face, just like a receding hairline
at the top. He is a receding nipple hairline. I
love him. He's cute. Anyways, you're tarrying me apart, Jamie.

(01:06:39):
Peter's cute. Well, that just about does it for the room. Amazing.
Watch it if you haven't seen it truly experience, Yeah,
no one can. But Barbara, thank you so much for
being here. It's been a delight. Thanks for choosing this one.
I'm glad. I'm glad to put you through that. Yeah,

(01:07:01):
well you had also you were like total recall, and
I was like, that would be fun. Total recall three
nipples at once. You have to get total three reading
three nipples, I mean, no matter what exactly. Yeah, I
just like I said, I was just like yeah, what
are movies I've seen a million times, so feel like, yeah,
total recall would be an interesting one, but I don't
think it would pass at all. I don't know how
most movies we talked about. I don't don't except for

(01:07:23):
The Room, which now joins the Hall of Fame of movies,
we've done that. Yeah, inevitably, somehow, usually by mistake past
the factal tests. I mean, I'm surprised that there were
more than one female character in the movie. There's three, three,
and like they all seem to get along pretty well. So, hey,
Tommy did something right, I guess. I mean, also, if

(01:07:45):
you count the interactions with the cheesecake waitress and the
other woman ordering cheesecake, there's a whole cheesecake scene. But
we don't we don't know their names. You're not, hey,
I like as woke as women can be flower Shop
Tommy will play, women can be trying to break into

(01:08:07):
stem but they can't quite figure it out. Well, yeah,
but they're trying business and they're that dog at the
flower shops a woman. And then I want to add
the dougie. I want to have a sex scene as
efficient as the flower shop scene. That's right, my like,
they're like fun fun in and out by Doggie. I

(01:08:29):
do like though that you see Johnny both go into
the flower shop and come out of for a scene
that didn't need to be there at all. You do
see every step, every step. Yeah, at least now I've
seen this movie. And Shane Van Dyke, by the way,
is Dick Van Dyke's grandson. Okay, well check out Titanic,
to check out Lady to Lady where I think we're

(01:08:50):
interviewing Dick Vandyke soon really, no way, I don't know,
but we're supposed to. He came to a comedy show
that I did in Malibu. Shout out Chris Crofton's Boo
comedy show. I did it recently. I got yelled at
by Dick Van Dyke, by Shane Van Dyke, by a
Malibu drunk. That'll happen at that show. Yeah, kind like

(01:09:11):
was one of like six people in the audience that
in the other four were a bunch of drunk people
who heckled everyone the entire time. Anyway, Um, Barbara, where
can people find you online? Where can people follow you? Um?
My Twitter is at Bab's Gray. I probably don't pass
the Bechdel test on there, and most of my regular
life with myself and my website is my jokes are

(01:09:33):
up here dot com. You can find me there and yeah,
Lady to Lady podcast. I have a show every Friday
called Sauce at the Sano Pizza in Hollywood, California. Yeah.
I used to do paint night events there anyway. Oh yeah,
and then you hooked me up with that paint job.
I gave you the best paint job that you're like,

(01:09:54):
Oh no, you looked me up with that Painton night
job before we were real friends, I know. Yeah, and
then I trained in It was like this jump sex
and I never did it. Hey. You can follow us
on Twitter at dactel Cast, also on Instagram, also on Facebook.
Also also on our new new new website babelcast dot com. Yes,

(01:10:18):
sectelcast dot com period you can go there for information
about live shows that we have coming up, including a
show at the cinder Block Comedy Festival in Brooklyn, New York.
On September nine. We're gonna be talking to Ray Sonny
about the movie get Out and we're gonna go to Boston.
That's right. The next day, on September tenth, we bought

(01:10:41):
our mega bus. Oh I have to vemmo you from
Oh my god. This is so embarrassing. But we have
another show on September ten in Boston at Improv Boston
for the Boston Comedy Arts Festival. How many more times
can I say Boston and one sentence? We have guests
Sam Mike very fun, a comedian talking about men in

(01:11:01):
black baby Yeah. Check out our website. You can also
thank you so much welcome. Check out back to ocast
dot com. You can also um donate money to us there.
Please do all kinds I mean, but please please please mark,
please please pleuri check out Twitter for the latest of

(01:11:23):
whether Alfred Molina is going to hang out with us
or not. Yes, yes, anyway, oh bye, oh bye, oh
by Doggie