November 19, 2024 • 21 mins
In this edition of The ToZeit Show with Jay Trendo, Jack and Miles discuss Jay Leno's purple swollen face, the weird-ass 4 year 'Skip Forward' cruise for the hopelessly lib-brained, the prospect of Matt Gaetz as Attorney General, Nancy Mace's Capitol bathroom bill, an update on the Billy "Glasgow Willy Wonka" Coull saga and much more!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello the Internet, and welcome to the to ZiT Show
with Jay Trendo.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
Oh wow, yesh, he's back.
Speaker 3 (00:07):
You've seen this, you heard about seen you see hear
what happened to my face? Have a I don't know,
maybe doing some hopping, some gas, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
It was a terrible Jay Leno. My name is Jack.
That over there is Miles grad Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah
yeah uh. And this is the episode where we tell
you what is trending. It is Tuesday, November nineteenth, about
one point thirty five where we are, Oh, you know what,
it's the anniversary of the Malice at the Palace today,
is it really?
Speaker 2 (00:40):
Yeah, happened on November nineteenth.
Speaker 4 (00:42):
I forgot to mention that I should have said that
in this morning's episode.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
What a time to be alive.
Speaker 4 (00:46):
Man, Oh shit, when hecklers can find out how unhinged some.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
Of the athletes are too. That was such a big game,
Like those were two of the best teams in the
Eastern Conference, to the point that I was watching it
at a bar in New York before it happened, like
it was just on national television. Yeah, like yeah, yeah. Anyways,
shout out to ron our test aka at a world
(01:13):
peace and peace and want something else. Now, I don't know,
change his name, sure dead name, Yeah, shout out him.
Uh so this is uh some of.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
The stuff Sandyford test now all right, I like it.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
I love that for him. So jay Leno looks like
he just got through the malice in the Palace, Like
he just his face just took all the punches from
the malice in the Palace. This is I don't know
exactly what's going on with Jay Leno. He Yeah, a
couple of years ago had like a bad fire and
then like came out and was like, yeah, look at me,
(01:54):
I'm hideous, like I obviously I've been burned. I look
like Freddy Krueger. And he just.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
Owns in another accident. Yeah, he learned theself after the
fire thing.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
I actually didn't couldn't tell that he'd been burned.
Speaker 4 (02:07):
Then.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
Yeah, there's been all sorts of accidents, and recently TMZ
caught up to Jay Leno outside a comedy show and
he had an eye patch on and an entire side
of his face was purple.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (02:21):
Anyway, so this is him explaining what happened. It looks
it looks terrible, like to see someone at his age.
With these kinds of injuries, You're like, oh, this is
this is all kinds of bad. But we'll hear him
explain it.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
I'm holding up fine, I'm right here.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
I'm talking to you, okay. Can I ask you what happened?
Speaker 4 (02:37):
Well?
Speaker 2 (02:37):
I was standa hotel was on a hill.
Speaker 3 (02:40):
Uh huh, there was a.
Speaker 1 (02:42):
I said, when's a good place?
Speaker 2 (02:43):
Oh, at the bottom of throwing out the restaurant was there.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
He's pointing down.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
I didn't have a car, so he had.
Speaker 4 (02:51):
To go walk about a mile and a half around.
I said, well, hill doesn't look that Steve, uh huh,
about sixty seventy feet.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
Let me see if I can go down the hill doubt.
Speaker 4 (03:00):
And then I fell down.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
So you rolled down the hill, Roll down.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
The hill, get my head on a rock, knock.
Speaker 3 (03:06):
Me in the eye.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
His eye is uh, I mean he's closing it, but yeah,
it's swollen pretty bad.
Speaker 4 (03:14):
This is the kind of thing like when you have
elderly grandparents, like these are kinds of things. You know,
all right, they can't live alone anymore? Like that was
the last straw? What the fuck just happened? This is
I don't know. I think we're a bit. Is this
the dubious explanations panel adjourning right now?
Speaker 1 (03:30):
Shout do we so what dubious explanations board is in session? Yeah? Yeah,
what do you think Jack and Jill ass universe? Is
that where I was on a hill, look down the hill,
restaurant at the bottom of the hill. No car, So
I had to just walk down the hill. I tumbled
(03:51):
ass over tea down the hill and smashed the side
of my head on a rock, on a rock.
Speaker 4 (03:57):
Now this is where I'm This is where my eyebrows
go up in suspicion.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
He says he didn't have a car.
Speaker 4 (04:03):
Yeah, this is the man practically is a fucking car
like Jay lent more. People, when you hear Jay Leno,
you think a car. People don't even know that he
was a late night host at this point.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
And now just that guy with all the cars, and
I'd imagine you're doing a gig is Jay Leno, and
you're like, where'd I get something to eat?
Speaker 4 (04:20):
They're gonna be like, hey, walk a mile and a
half down the mountain to go eat. Like you'd think
maybe this guy would have a driver or something.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
When you're at that level of fame, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (04:30):
This is how like drunk college students die, you know,
like they're like and then he was trying to walk
away two miles on the highway to get to Jack
in the box and he didn't make it.
Speaker 4 (04:43):
You know, Like, this is my question if he thought, okay,
as the binary between take them one and a half
mile road down the hill, I'll just fucking go down
this steep incline of us like a mountain.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
Face to get there. How are you going to get up?
You're gonna climb up the fucking mountain.
Speaker 1 (05:01):
Again at that point? Yeah, yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
Jay. I have had to explain away bad facial injuries
before that happened, because I was, you know, under the influence,
and the story I came up with was exactly as
convincing as that one. I was playing basketball, jumped up,
someone took out my legs and I forgot to put
my hands down. I was like, no, that didn't happen, man.
(05:27):
But and guess what when I told that to people
at work, nobody believed it.
Speaker 4 (05:33):
I can see the outline of like the bottom of
a twelve ans can.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
Like it looks like like, let me line it up.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
Did you try it is. What happened to my face
is I just kept trying to drink, but I was
trying so hard, hitting myself in the face. I had
a drinking problem in all the ways, the airplane way
and also the other way. Exactly. Yeah, but anyways, I
don't know. May you're too old for this, Yeah, too
old for this shit. Get just take cars. All right.
(06:00):
Let's talk about a great product for the lib braned
out there. A cruise line is selling a four year
long trip to avoid Trump's second term altogether. So they
announced that they're offering special four year cruises for Americans
who want to take off and just skip trunks Trump's
(06:20):
second term altogether. It's called Skip Forward. They say they'll
also offer a one year escape from reality and a
two year midterm selection if you want to return to
Land in time for the midterm elections. This is I
don't know, but first of all, you'll be on a
(06:41):
small boat with God. I can't imagine a great group. Yeah,
of dude, I would.
Speaker 4 (06:48):
If I was a fucking maga troll, I'd be like,
guess who's going on that cruise?
Speaker 1 (06:52):
Yeah, exactly, Yeah, fucking.
Speaker 2 (06:54):
Time you've read all your maga shit, and you're like, ah,
where are we going?
Speaker 1 (06:58):
Where we're going?
Speaker 2 (06:59):
Yeah at forty grand a year, they say, or just
under forty grand a year.
Speaker 1 (07:04):
Great, great, Great.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
This is for such a specific kind of person.
Speaker 4 (07:08):
Which is also interesting because the it like I it
sounds like while a lot of like right wing medias
like look what the liberal snowflakes are trying to do,
it sounds like this was going to be for whoever
lost Like.
Speaker 1 (07:20):
Yeah, yeah, like Cruise Line said that they were going
to do this regardless, like had the election results been different,
they would have just like done the like were mega
cruise Okay, so cool? Yeah, just right wingers who wanted
to flee the country during Harris's term.
Speaker 4 (07:36):
You will still be like, you will still have the
dishonor of like disembarking a ship at a port and
then saying you're American because guess you know, to get
ready for that that stench to follow you around the
fucking planet.
Speaker 1 (07:49):
Unless this is a cruise just around the Texas Florida
portion of the Gulf of Mexico, You're not going to
be beloved wherever you land.
Speaker 2 (07:59):
No, no, no, no, do you remember what it was like
being an American? During the Bush years and going abroad. Yeah, fuck,
that was the wild. I just remember.
Speaker 4 (08:08):
I remember being in England and having my accent get
clocked and then like three dudes just pulled up on me.
Yeah you're from America, but I'm like, what the dude, No,
I'm Jack Toronto, Man Toronto, Toronto.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
Yeah, Man's is marved bro.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
Yeah it was.
Speaker 4 (08:26):
It wasn't a great feeling because at the time, it
was like what the fuck are y'all doing?
Speaker 2 (08:30):
In Iraq?
Speaker 4 (08:31):
Was like all the things people would say to you,
and who knows where this one's gonna lead to.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
But anyway, take that take that cruise.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
I'm sure Morgan with an Irish woman who told me
that America deserved nine to eleven and it really like
fucked me up, like whoa damn, but she's really cute.
Speaker 2 (08:51):
But you know what we did, You're right, Shavon.
Speaker 1 (08:55):
We did.
Speaker 4 (08:56):
We did, We did deserve it.
Speaker 1 (08:57):
And that's where all my politics come from. Yeah, that's
why it was anti Bush. Anyways, good good luck to
like it would be interesting like we I think there's
been we've covered before, like very long term cruises, like
year long cruises.
Speaker 4 (09:13):
Right, So one wacky one that people are doing like
around the world. I think on it.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
With the right documentary crew in tow this could be
a good documentary. Yeah, as long as they're willing to
really delve into all the ways that this is going
to go existentially and spiritually horribly.
Speaker 4 (09:32):
For this all the people who if you are like,
you're like, oh god, a Trump presidency, I need to
take a four year cruise. Yeah, that already says so
much like in what you can afford how you look
at the world, though, a documentary would be nice to
see those people.
Speaker 1 (09:48):
Miles and I will like, we are going a little
bit hard on this idea because we're in the process
of working with a company to develop a four year
medically in induced coma for people who don't want to
live through a second Trump presidency. Yeah, so doesn't that
sound so much easier?
Speaker 2 (10:07):
News coming soon, News coming soon.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
The vacation of your dreams, exactly what work, whatever you want. Anyways,
let's take a quick break and we'll be right back.
And we're back, and we're at the gates of hell.
Speaker 4 (10:29):
Hell Yeah, Matt Gates, he's still tapped to be the
next Attorney General. As we talked about before, there have
been a lot of groans coming from the right, but
until it was just mostly groans that were the.
Speaker 1 (10:44):
Kinds of noises you make this guy.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
Oh no, I'm very shocked.
Speaker 4 (10:50):
That's just a way to make it up here, like
you are opposed to something but doing absolutely nothing about it.
But now more and more Republicans are coming out against
him and asking Trump to pull the nomination, despite Trump
reaching out to senators to.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
Be like, hey, give him a shot, give him a shot.
Speaker 4 (11:07):
The problem for GOP senators is that they feel like
going through this charade of the confirmation is kind of
a lose lose situation, Like if they go through with it,
then a lot of senators that are up for reelection
in twenty twenty six feel like it could seal their fates.
And then on the other hand, if they refuse to confirm,
they would face the wrath of like a Musk funded
(11:29):
MAGA primary challenger. So yeah, only good options on the table.
I mean, you can either do what.
Speaker 2 (11:36):
You need to to keep your little office as senator
or whatever. I don't why am I even trying to appeal.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
I feel so sorry for Miles.
Speaker 4 (11:44):
Yeah, I would not want to be them.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
Wow.
Speaker 4 (11:47):
Cash twenty two but yeah, at this point, it would
be like a total waste of political capital and time
to push Gates through, especially when you consider now that
like the lawyer representing Gates as a users has said
that one of his clients witnessed everything like including the
paying for sex with minors and the actual sexual acts.
(12:10):
Mark Wayne Mullen, who's like the tough guy congressman who
wants to fight everybody he wants, he went on cn
CNBC to sort of pretend as if he was like
shocked by this.
Speaker 1 (12:21):
Yeah, but the CNBA higher political comportment is say it
to my face exactly. And so he's on to make
a comment about, you know, a statutory rape and this
is this is how this sort of segment went. Kudos
to the CNBC anchor for being very charitable with her
description of what happened.
Speaker 5 (12:38):
He heard from the lawyer from some of the people
who did testify to the House Ethics Committee that he
had a client who testified that she had not only
seen him pay for sex with women, but also engage
in sex with the seventeen year old woman had a
drug fueled party. Is that something that concerns.
Speaker 1 (12:58):
You or if it is true?
Speaker 2 (13:01):
And I mean, I got to say that if that
is true. Now what I've see that is true?
Speaker 1 (13:07):
What now?
Speaker 2 (13:11):
Now what I masterful fucking cowardice that about Matt Gates
is one hundred percent through. Every word that I said
was accurate. But as I will say, we'll go through
this process like we should. And if that is in
the report, then that is going to be very problematic
to move forward.
Speaker 4 (13:28):
If it is in the report. Now, if it's not
in the report and it's just being reported out as news.
Speaker 2 (13:33):
Then we then we will then we will just ignore it.
Speaker 1 (13:35):
Yeah, And then he goes on to basically be like,
but if it's what the president wants, then obviously we're
going to get on board with it.
Speaker 4 (13:42):
Right, Yeah, we will see seventeen year old woman, Wow?
Speaker 1 (13:46):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (13:47):
Can this is language is very important, y'all, especially with this.
Speaker 1 (13:51):
I also don't know, like, do they have that much
to worry about because it seems like the Democrats are
just all getting on board with the appeasement and the
guys we got to bring the temperature down. Appeasement. I
heard that fascism, the problem is division being divided as
a nation.
Speaker 4 (14:10):
I remember the History Channel being on in the background
a lot in the nineties, and I remember hearing this
word appeasement, but I forget if it worked and who
it was in regards to. But whatever, probably nothing, probably
nothing relevant today. Marjorie Taylor Green, though, has made it
known that if anyone tries to get Gates's ethics report
to be released, they will face consequences because if yeah,
(14:33):
I don't know, if we I think we did talk
about this. Gates had like a tactical like resignation in
order to basically not be within the jurisdiction of the
House Ethics Committee to continue looking into his criminal behavior,
alleged criminal behavior. So this is what Marjorie Taylor Green says,
quote for my fellow Republican colleagues in the House and Senate,
(14:53):
if we're going to release ethics reports and rip apart
our own that Trump has appointed, then put it all
out there for the America people to see. Yes, all
the ethics reports and claims, including the one I filed,
all your sexual harassment and assault claims that were secretly
settled paying off victims with taxpayer money, the entire Jeffrey
Epstein files, tapes, recordings, witness interviews, but not just those,
(15:14):
There's more. Epstein wasn't isn't the only asset If we're
gonna dance, let's all dance in the sunlight.
Speaker 2 (15:20):
Oh sure we do, Now what are you?
Speaker 1 (15:25):
First of all, she's speaking directly to Republicans, and she's like,
I know you guys have done a lot of really
bad shit. Guys, may I remind you we're the bad guy?
We have thattext?
Speaker 4 (15:40):
This is the other Yeah, And it's like feels like
I don't know if she's trying to make it seem
like Democrats are like everyone's trying to.
Speaker 2 (15:45):
Get the report released.
Speaker 4 (15:47):
But I think she's just saying, like, I've got a
dead hand trigger to be like, oh if dead man's hand,
if anything happens everybody. I don't know, but it's not.
I don't know if that's the l when you're like,
but if you don't, then I'm perfectly fine protecting sexual predators.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
Yeah, of any party affiliation, you want to dance, Let's dance.
That is like a bad that's an eighties movie bad guy. Yeah,
that's wild.
Speaker 2 (16:12):
That's someone who's never danced before.
Speaker 4 (16:15):
You you're not for dancing if you're like, let's dance,
and this probably throwing a switchblade from hand to hand.
Speaker 1 (16:21):
Exactly. That is the energy of if we're going to dance,
let's all dance in the sunlight.
Speaker 4 (16:27):
Yeah, we need Bruce Wayne to come out and be like, yeah,
I'm dancing straight up.
Speaker 1 (16:32):
Guys, man, just bad guys. Guys. What do you you want?
You want me to tell them what you did my
fellow Republicans? Exactly? Yikes, Nancy Mayce speaking of Republicans.
Speaker 2 (16:45):
Yeah, speaking of bad Republicans.
Speaker 4 (16:47):
So, you know, every time we've brought her up, she's
like the person who's like telling her staff like, I
must have nine hundred television.
Speaker 2 (16:54):
Appearances per day or you are fired.
Speaker 4 (16:56):
I don't care about any of legend, any legislative business,
not my come in front of me as a as
a politician.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
But she's at it again.
Speaker 4 (17:04):
This time she's bullying Representative Sarah McBride, who's the first
transgender member of Congress. She's making a bunch of noises
about introducing a bill to ban trans women from using
the women's bathroom at the Capitol. Everyone's like, of course here,
like again, why are Democrats so focused on trans people
that this is no deal? Yeah, you know, Democrats, if
(17:28):
you wanted to prove that you aren't total empty skin
bags out there. Maybe come together to defend your fellow
member of Congress.
Speaker 1 (17:38):
Maybe whoa, whoa, I don't know what, Just how do
you want to be so divisive and defends human beings?
Miles right right, I'm sorry, I don't mean to be
divisive by being against your bigotry.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
I will, I will, I will fall all the way back. Yeah,
just more more right wing nonsense.
Speaker 4 (17:57):
A lot of people pointed out though that you know,
when you when you were actually like a member of Congress,
you have your own restrooms in your office. But again
this is more performative shit because again Nancy Mays has
to be on TV, and unfortunately she's just doing it
in the most craving way possible.
Speaker 1 (18:14):
So hey, yeah, indeed, all right, big update on one
of the leading candidates for our Story of the Year,
Glasgow Willy Wonka. The Glasgow Willy Wonka scammer is now
a registered sex offender. Yeah fortunately, Yeah. The guy behind
(18:39):
the event, not to mention a number of terrible AI novels,
Billy cool coo ULLL, is now a registered sex offender
guilty of abusive behavior after bombarding a woman with explicit pictures.
It began in March, just after the Willy Wonka event,
and his courtroom defense was to blame the Wonka have
(19:01):
for taking a toll on his mental health and thus
driving him to repeatedly harass and threaten someone.
Speaker 4 (19:07):
I don't want to blame it all on my Willy
Wonka event, but ray, it did have a It was
a serious contribution of my already proven track record of
being a duplicitous uh you know, manipulator.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
Okay, cool cool? Yeah, So for I don't know, you
hate to see it, you do hate to see it?
Also feel like it's going to hurt the that story
in ever year end story tournament.
Speaker 4 (19:35):
Yeah, yeah, well a port and addendum that will have
to attach, Yeah, because yeah, it's come full circle. It's Yeah,
what happened to just scammers who fade away and shame
into the darkness?
Speaker 1 (19:46):
Does that never actually happen? Gonna say it?
Speaker 2 (19:49):
Wait, I don't think they do ever.
Speaker 1 (19:50):
No, they're almost they're almost always pathologically bad people. Nah
yeah yeah, okay, yeah, So listeners, if you haven't seen,
we've been asking for for submissions on Blue Sky, but
we'll be recording tomorrow, so we need we need your
ideas today. But we're going to be recording a tournament
of the top sixteen stories we covered this year, everything
(20:13):
from Willy Wanka Glasgow to the pole vlter who got
caught on his dick going over the yeah yeah, I'm
hoisted by his own petard to the AI Slop paragraph
that broke Miles's brain. Yeah yeah. But let us know
any stories that jumped out to you. What was the
(20:34):
one that I was saying, so somebody suggested that I
was like, that is definitely one that we missed. Covenant
Eye will be on this great suggestion and we will
be shouting you out whoever recommends stories that get on
the list. Yep, all right, those are some of the
things that are trending on this Tuesday, November nineteenth. We
(20:54):
are back tomorrow with a whole last episode of the show.
It's one of the best guests of our favorite guests.
Tune in for that. Until then, be kind to each other,
be kind to yourselves, get the vaccine, get your flu shot,
don't do nothing about white supremacy, and we will talk
to you all tomorrow. Bye bye.
Hello the Internet, and welcome to the to ZiT Show
with Jay Trendo.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
Oh wow, yesh, he's back.
Speaker 3 (00:07):
You've seen this, you heard about seen you see hear
what happened to my face? Have a I don't know,
maybe doing some hopping, some gas, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
It was a terrible Jay Leno. My name is Jack.
That over there is Miles grad Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah
yeah uh. And this is the episode where we tell
you what is trending. It is Tuesday, November nineteenth, about
one point thirty five where we are, Oh, you know what,
it's the anniversary of the Malice at the Palace today,
is it really?
Speaker 2 (00:40):
Yeah, happened on November nineteenth.
Speaker 4 (00:42):
I forgot to mention that I should have said that
in this morning's episode.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
What a time to be alive.
Speaker 4 (00:46):
Man, Oh shit, when hecklers can find out how unhinged some.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
Of the athletes are too. That was such a big game,
Like those were two of the best teams in the
Eastern Conference, to the point that I was watching it
at a bar in New York before it happened, like
it was just on national television. Yeah, like yeah, yeah. Anyways,
shout out to ron our test aka at a world
(01:13):
peace and peace and want something else. Now, I don't know,
change his name, sure dead name, Yeah, shout out him.
Uh so this is uh some of.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
The stuff Sandyford test now all right, I like it.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
I love that for him. So jay Leno looks like
he just got through the malice in the Palace, Like
he just his face just took all the punches from
the malice in the Palace. This is I don't know
exactly what's going on with Jay Leno. He Yeah, a
couple of years ago had like a bad fire and
then like came out and was like, yeah, look at me,
(01:54):
I'm hideous, like I obviously I've been burned. I look
like Freddy Krueger. And he just.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
Owns in another accident. Yeah, he learned theself after the
fire thing.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
I actually didn't couldn't tell that he'd been burned.
Speaker 4 (02:07):
Then.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
Yeah, there's been all sorts of accidents, and recently TMZ
caught up to Jay Leno outside a comedy show and
he had an eye patch on and an entire side
of his face was purple.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (02:21):
Anyway, so this is him explaining what happened. It looks
it looks terrible, like to see someone at his age.
With these kinds of injuries, You're like, oh, this is
this is all kinds of bad. But we'll hear him
explain it.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
I'm holding up fine, I'm right here.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
I'm talking to you, okay. Can I ask you what happened?
Speaker 4 (02:37):
Well?
Speaker 2 (02:37):
I was standa hotel was on a hill.
Speaker 3 (02:40):
Uh huh, there was a.
Speaker 1 (02:42):
I said, when's a good place?
Speaker 2 (02:43):
Oh, at the bottom of throwing out the restaurant was there.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
He's pointing down.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
I didn't have a car, so he had.
Speaker 4 (02:51):
To go walk about a mile and a half around.
I said, well, hill doesn't look that Steve, uh huh,
about sixty seventy feet.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
Let me see if I can go down the hill doubt.
Speaker 4 (03:00):
And then I fell down.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
So you rolled down the hill, Roll down.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
The hill, get my head on a rock, knock.
Speaker 3 (03:06):
Me in the eye.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
His eye is uh, I mean he's closing it, but yeah,
it's swollen pretty bad.
Speaker 4 (03:14):
This is the kind of thing like when you have
elderly grandparents, like these are kinds of things. You know,
all right, they can't live alone anymore? Like that was
the last straw? What the fuck just happened? This is
I don't know. I think we're a bit. Is this
the dubious explanations panel adjourning right now?
Speaker 1 (03:30):
Shout do we so what dubious explanations board is in session? Yeah? Yeah,
what do you think Jack and Jill ass universe? Is
that where I was on a hill, look down the hill,
restaurant at the bottom of the hill. No car, So
I had to just walk down the hill. I tumbled
(03:51):
ass over tea down the hill and smashed the side
of my head on a rock, on a rock.
Speaker 4 (03:57):
Now this is where I'm This is where my eyebrows
go up in suspicion.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
He says he didn't have a car.
Speaker 4 (04:03):
Yeah, this is the man practically is a fucking car
like Jay lent more. People, when you hear Jay Leno,
you think a car. People don't even know that he
was a late night host at this point.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
And now just that guy with all the cars, and
I'd imagine you're doing a gig is Jay Leno, and
you're like, where'd I get something to eat?
Speaker 4 (04:20):
They're gonna be like, hey, walk a mile and a
half down the mountain to go eat. Like you'd think
maybe this guy would have a driver or something.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
When you're at that level of fame, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (04:30):
This is how like drunk college students die, you know,
like they're like and then he was trying to walk
away two miles on the highway to get to Jack
in the box and he didn't make it.
Speaker 4 (04:43):
You know, Like, this is my question if he thought, okay,
as the binary between take them one and a half
mile road down the hill, I'll just fucking go down
this steep incline of us like a mountain.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
Face to get there. How are you going to get up?
You're gonna climb up the fucking mountain.
Speaker 1 (05:01):
Again at that point? Yeah, yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
Jay. I have had to explain away bad facial injuries
before that happened, because I was, you know, under the influence,
and the story I came up with was exactly as
convincing as that one. I was playing basketball, jumped up,
someone took out my legs and I forgot to put
my hands down. I was like, no, that didn't happen, man.
(05:27):
But and guess what when I told that to people
at work, nobody believed it.
Speaker 4 (05:33):
I can see the outline of like the bottom of
a twelve ans can.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
Like it looks like like, let me line it up.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
Did you try it is. What happened to my face
is I just kept trying to drink, but I was
trying so hard, hitting myself in the face. I had
a drinking problem in all the ways, the airplane way
and also the other way. Exactly. Yeah, but anyways, I
don't know. May you're too old for this, Yeah, too
old for this shit. Get just take cars. All right.
(06:00):
Let's talk about a great product for the lib braned
out there. A cruise line is selling a four year
long trip to avoid Trump's second term altogether. So they
announced that they're offering special four year cruises for Americans
who want to take off and just skip trunks Trump's
(06:20):
second term altogether. It's called Skip Forward. They say they'll
also offer a one year escape from reality and a
two year midterm selection if you want to return to
Land in time for the midterm elections. This is I
don't know, but first of all, you'll be on a
(06:41):
small boat with God. I can't imagine a great group. Yeah,
of dude, I would.
Speaker 4 (06:48):
If I was a fucking maga troll, I'd be like,
guess who's going on that cruise?
Speaker 1 (06:52):
Yeah, exactly, Yeah, fucking.
Speaker 2 (06:54):
Time you've read all your maga shit, and you're like, ah,
where are we going?
Speaker 1 (06:58):
Where we're going?
Speaker 2 (06:59):
Yeah at forty grand a year, they say, or just
under forty grand a year.
Speaker 1 (07:04):
Great, great, Great.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
This is for such a specific kind of person.
Speaker 4 (07:08):
Which is also interesting because the it like I it
sounds like while a lot of like right wing medias
like look what the liberal snowflakes are trying to do,
it sounds like this was going to be for whoever
lost Like.
Speaker 1 (07:20):
Yeah, yeah, like Cruise Line said that they were going
to do this regardless, like had the election results been different,
they would have just like done the like were mega
cruise Okay, so cool? Yeah, just right wingers who wanted
to flee the country during Harris's term.
Speaker 4 (07:36):
You will still be like, you will still have the
dishonor of like disembarking a ship at a port and
then saying you're American because guess you know, to get
ready for that that stench to follow you around the
fucking planet.
Speaker 1 (07:49):
Unless this is a cruise just around the Texas Florida
portion of the Gulf of Mexico, You're not going to
be beloved wherever you land.
Speaker 2 (07:59):
No, no, no, no, do you remember what it was like
being an American? During the Bush years and going abroad. Yeah, fuck,
that was the wild. I just remember.
Speaker 4 (08:08):
I remember being in England and having my accent get
clocked and then like three dudes just pulled up on me.
Yeah you're from America, but I'm like, what the dude, No,
I'm Jack Toronto, Man Toronto, Toronto.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
Yeah, Man's is marved bro.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
Yeah it was.
Speaker 4 (08:26):
It wasn't a great feeling because at the time, it
was like what the fuck are y'all doing?
Speaker 2 (08:30):
In Iraq?
Speaker 4 (08:31):
Was like all the things people would say to you,
and who knows where this one's gonna lead to.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
But anyway, take that take that cruise.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
I'm sure Morgan with an Irish woman who told me
that America deserved nine to eleven and it really like
fucked me up, like whoa damn, but she's really cute.
Speaker 2 (08:51):
But you know what we did, You're right, Shavon.
Speaker 1 (08:55):
We did.
Speaker 4 (08:56):
We did, We did deserve it.
Speaker 1 (08:57):
And that's where all my politics come from. Yeah, that's
why it was anti Bush. Anyways, good good luck to
like it would be interesting like we I think there's
been we've covered before, like very long term cruises, like
year long cruises.
Speaker 4 (09:13):
Right, So one wacky one that people are doing like
around the world. I think on it.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
With the right documentary crew in tow this could be
a good documentary. Yeah, as long as they're willing to
really delve into all the ways that this is going
to go existentially and spiritually horribly.
Speaker 4 (09:32):
For this all the people who if you are like,
you're like, oh god, a Trump presidency, I need to
take a four year cruise. Yeah, that already says so
much like in what you can afford how you look
at the world, though, a documentary would be nice to
see those people.
Speaker 1 (09:48):
Miles and I will like, we are going a little
bit hard on this idea because we're in the process
of working with a company to develop a four year
medically in induced coma for people who don't want to
live through a second Trump presidency. Yeah, so doesn't that
sound so much easier?
Speaker 2 (10:07):
News coming soon, News coming soon.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
The vacation of your dreams, exactly what work, whatever you want. Anyways,
let's take a quick break and we'll be right back.
And we're back, and we're at the gates of hell.
Speaker 4 (10:29):
Hell Yeah, Matt Gates, he's still tapped to be the
next Attorney General. As we talked about before, there have
been a lot of groans coming from the right, but
until it was just mostly groans that were the.
Speaker 1 (10:44):
Kinds of noises you make this guy.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
Oh no, I'm very shocked.
Speaker 4 (10:50):
That's just a way to make it up here, like
you are opposed to something but doing absolutely nothing about it.
But now more and more Republicans are coming out against
him and asking Trump to pull the nomination, despite Trump
reaching out to senators to.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
Be like, hey, give him a shot, give him a shot.
Speaker 4 (11:07):
The problem for GOP senators is that they feel like
going through this charade of the confirmation is kind of
a lose lose situation, Like if they go through with it,
then a lot of senators that are up for reelection
in twenty twenty six feel like it could seal their fates.
And then on the other hand, if they refuse to confirm,
they would face the wrath of like a Musk funded
(11:29):
MAGA primary challenger. So yeah, only good options on the table.
I mean, you can either do what.
Speaker 2 (11:36):
You need to to keep your little office as senator
or whatever. I don't why am I even trying to appeal.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
I feel so sorry for Miles.
Speaker 4 (11:44):
Yeah, I would not want to be them.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
Wow.
Speaker 4 (11:47):
Cash twenty two but yeah, at this point, it would
be like a total waste of political capital and time
to push Gates through, especially when you consider now that
like the lawyer representing Gates as a users has said
that one of his clients witnessed everything like including the
paying for sex with minors and the actual sexual acts.
(12:10):
Mark Wayne Mullen, who's like the tough guy congressman who
wants to fight everybody he wants, he went on cn
CNBC to sort of pretend as if he was like
shocked by this.
Speaker 1 (12:21):
Yeah, but the CNBA higher political comportment is say it
to my face exactly. And so he's on to make
a comment about, you know, a statutory rape and this
is this is how this sort of segment went. Kudos
to the CNBC anchor for being very charitable with her
description of what happened.
Speaker 5 (12:38):
He heard from the lawyer from some of the people
who did testify to the House Ethics Committee that he
had a client who testified that she had not only
seen him pay for sex with women, but also engage
in sex with the seventeen year old woman had a
drug fueled party. Is that something that concerns.
Speaker 1 (12:58):
You or if it is true?
Speaker 2 (13:01):
And I mean, I got to say that if that
is true. Now what I've see that is true?
Speaker 1 (13:07):
What now?
Speaker 2 (13:11):
Now what I masterful fucking cowardice that about Matt Gates
is one hundred percent through. Every word that I said
was accurate. But as I will say, we'll go through
this process like we should. And if that is in
the report, then that is going to be very problematic
to move forward.
Speaker 4 (13:28):
If it is in the report. Now, if it's not
in the report and it's just being reported out as news.
Speaker 2 (13:33):
Then we then we will then we will just ignore it.
Speaker 1 (13:35):
Yeah, And then he goes on to basically be like,
but if it's what the president wants, then obviously we're
going to get on board with it.
Speaker 4 (13:42):
Right, Yeah, we will see seventeen year old woman, Wow?
Speaker 1 (13:46):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (13:47):
Can this is language is very important, y'all, especially with this.
Speaker 1 (13:51):
I also don't know, like, do they have that much
to worry about because it seems like the Democrats are
just all getting on board with the appeasement and the
guys we got to bring the temperature down. Appeasement. I
heard that fascism, the problem is division being divided as
a nation.
Speaker 4 (14:10):
I remember the History Channel being on in the background
a lot in the nineties, and I remember hearing this
word appeasement, but I forget if it worked and who
it was in regards to. But whatever, probably nothing, probably
nothing relevant today. Marjorie Taylor Green, though, has made it
known that if anyone tries to get Gates's ethics report
to be released, they will face consequences because if yeah,
(14:33):
I don't know, if we I think we did talk
about this. Gates had like a tactical like resignation in
order to basically not be within the jurisdiction of the
House Ethics Committee to continue looking into his criminal behavior,
alleged criminal behavior. So this is what Marjorie Taylor Green says,
quote for my fellow Republican colleagues in the House and Senate,
(14:53):
if we're going to release ethics reports and rip apart
our own that Trump has appointed, then put it all
out there for the America people to see. Yes, all
the ethics reports and claims, including the one I filed,
all your sexual harassment and assault claims that were secretly
settled paying off victims with taxpayer money, the entire Jeffrey
Epstein files, tapes, recordings, witness interviews, but not just those,
(15:14):
There's more. Epstein wasn't isn't the only asset If we're
gonna dance, let's all dance in the sunlight.
Speaker 2 (15:20):
Oh sure we do, Now what are you?
Speaker 1 (15:25):
First of all, she's speaking directly to Republicans, and she's like,
I know you guys have done a lot of really
bad shit. Guys, may I remind you we're the bad guy?
We have thattext?
Speaker 4 (15:40):
This is the other Yeah, And it's like feels like
I don't know if she's trying to make it seem
like Democrats are like everyone's trying to.
Speaker 2 (15:45):
Get the report released.
Speaker 4 (15:47):
But I think she's just saying, like, I've got a
dead hand trigger to be like, oh if dead man's hand,
if anything happens everybody. I don't know, but it's not.
I don't know if that's the l when you're like,
but if you don't, then I'm perfectly fine protecting sexual predators.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
Yeah, of any party affiliation, you want to dance, Let's dance.
That is like a bad that's an eighties movie bad guy. Yeah,
that's wild.
Speaker 2 (16:12):
That's someone who's never danced before.
Speaker 4 (16:15):
You you're not for dancing if you're like, let's dance,
and this probably throwing a switchblade from hand to hand.
Speaker 1 (16:21):
Exactly. That is the energy of if we're going to dance,
let's all dance in the sunlight.
Speaker 4 (16:27):
Yeah, we need Bruce Wayne to come out and be like, yeah,
I'm dancing straight up.
Speaker 1 (16:32):
Guys, man, just bad guys. Guys. What do you you want?
You want me to tell them what you did my
fellow Republicans? Exactly? Yikes, Nancy Mayce speaking of Republicans.
Speaker 2 (16:45):
Yeah, speaking of bad Republicans.
Speaker 4 (16:47):
So, you know, every time we've brought her up, she's
like the person who's like telling her staff like, I
must have nine hundred television.
Speaker 2 (16:54):
Appearances per day or you are fired.
Speaker 4 (16:56):
I don't care about any of legend, any legislative business,
not my come in front of me as a as
a politician.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
But she's at it again.
Speaker 4 (17:04):
This time she's bullying Representative Sarah McBride, who's the first
transgender member of Congress. She's making a bunch of noises
about introducing a bill to ban trans women from using
the women's bathroom at the Capitol. Everyone's like, of course here,
like again, why are Democrats so focused on trans people
that this is no deal? Yeah, you know, Democrats, if
(17:28):
you wanted to prove that you aren't total empty skin
bags out there. Maybe come together to defend your fellow
member of Congress.
Speaker 1 (17:38):
Maybe whoa, whoa, I don't know what, Just how do
you want to be so divisive and defends human beings?
Miles right right, I'm sorry, I don't mean to be
divisive by being against your bigotry.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
I will, I will, I will fall all the way back. Yeah,
just more more right wing nonsense.
Speaker 4 (17:57):
A lot of people pointed out though that you know,
when you when you were actually like a member of Congress,
you have your own restrooms in your office. But again
this is more performative shit because again Nancy Mays has
to be on TV, and unfortunately she's just doing it
in the most craving way possible.
Speaker 1 (18:14):
So hey, yeah, indeed, all right, big update on one
of the leading candidates for our Story of the Year,
Glasgow Willy Wonka. The Glasgow Willy Wonka scammer is now
a registered sex offender. Yeah fortunately, Yeah. The guy behind
(18:39):
the event, not to mention a number of terrible AI novels,
Billy cool coo ULLL, is now a registered sex offender
guilty of abusive behavior after bombarding a woman with explicit pictures.
It began in March, just after the Willy Wonka event,
and his courtroom defense was to blame the Wonka have
(19:01):
for taking a toll on his mental health and thus
driving him to repeatedly harass and threaten someone.
Speaker 4 (19:07):
I don't want to blame it all on my Willy
Wonka event, but ray, it did have a It was
a serious contribution of my already proven track record of
being a duplicitous uh you know, manipulator.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
Okay, cool cool? Yeah, So for I don't know, you
hate to see it, you do hate to see it?
Also feel like it's going to hurt the that story
in ever year end story tournament.
Speaker 4 (19:35):
Yeah, yeah, well a port and addendum that will have
to attach, Yeah, because yeah, it's come full circle. It's Yeah,
what happened to just scammers who fade away and shame
into the darkness?
Speaker 1 (19:46):
Does that never actually happen? Gonna say it?
Speaker 2 (19:49):
Wait, I don't think they do ever.
Speaker 1 (19:50):
No, they're almost they're almost always pathologically bad people. Nah
yeah yeah, okay, yeah, So listeners, if you haven't seen,
we've been asking for for submissions on Blue Sky, but
we'll be recording tomorrow, so we need we need your
ideas today. But we're going to be recording a tournament
of the top sixteen stories we covered this year, everything
(20:13):
from Willy Wanka Glasgow to the pole vlter who got
caught on his dick going over the yeah yeah, I'm
hoisted by his own petard to the AI Slop paragraph
that broke Miles's brain. Yeah yeah. But let us know
any stories that jumped out to you. What was the
(20:34):
one that I was saying, so somebody suggested that I
was like, that is definitely one that we missed. Covenant
Eye will be on this great suggestion and we will
be shouting you out whoever recommends stories that get on
the list. Yep, all right, those are some of the
things that are trending on this Tuesday, November nineteenth. We
(20:54):
are back tomorrow with a whole last episode of the show.
It's one of the best guests of our favorite guests.
Tune in for that. Until then, be kind to each other,
be kind to yourselves, get the vaccine, get your flu shot,
don't do nothing about white supremacy, and we will talk
to you all tomorrow. Bye bye.
The Daily Zeitgeist News
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Jack O'Brien
Miles Gray
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