Stepmomming Made Easy

Stepmomming Made Easy

Is stepmomming the most challenging thing you’ve ever done in your life? If so, you’re in the right place! Welcome to the Stepmomming Made Easy podcast, where your host, Certified Stepparent Coach Kristen Skiles will ensure you never feel alone on this stepmom journey again. We’ll never be able to predict every stressor or struggle you could anticipate as a stepmom, but each week, you’ll learn new tools and techniques to prioritize your peace. Tune in for your weekly dose of validation, inspiration, and step-by-step guidance to build a stepmom life you love.

Episodes

April 2, 2024 13 mins

Sometimes as a stepmom, you're damned if you do, and damned if you don't. And a big reason for that, is because of the double standard between moms and stepmoms. There is an underlying—often misguided—prejudice in our society that stepmoms are less than "real" moms, and today, we're going to break this double standard wide open.


Stepmoms are not less than "real" moms, or anyone else. This is a...

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When I first became a stepmom, I felt like everyone else (my partner, my stepdaughter, and my partner’s ex-wife) had more control over my life than I did, and it drove me WILD. Today, I’m happy to report, I have firmly taken back control and am happier than ever, and I want the same for you, stepmom. So, here are 3 very tangible ways to take back control as a stepmom!


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Listen to EP 28: Why I Think “Keep the Peace...

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Stepparenting is not hard because you're doing it wrong. Stepparenting is hard because it's an entirely different family structure and dynamic than we've experienced before. Today, I'm joined by arguably the foremost expert on stepfamily dynamics, Dr. Patricia Papernow, to discuss 5 challenges stepfamilies face. We're normalizing the challenges you struggle with and talking all about what works and what doe...

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Transition Day can be SO challenging for stepmoms! Stepchildren often have a difficult time making the switch from one house to another, and act out in emotional ways. It makes stepmoms around the world dread transition day!


In today's episode, I'm sharing 3 tips to make transition day easier! Set yourself and your stepchildren up for success with these tips, and you'll find that transition day isn't one to ...

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One of the biggest, most challenging transitions that stepmoms can make is adding a baby to their blended family. Today, Kimberly King joins me to discuss her experience and best tips for stepmoms who are preparing to add an "ours baby" to the family! We're answering all of your burning questions, like:

  1. How do you prepare your stepchildren for adding a baby to the family?
  2. Do you need to tell the ex you're expe...
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So many stepmom clients I work with have tried therapy before coaching, and the advice they get from well-meaning therapists who aren't trained in blended families actually does more harm than good. Maybe you've heard this advice before too, or maybe you'll be just as shocked by some of it as I was. Regardless, I want you to know that you deserve a stepmom life you love.


This is a safe space for stepmoms. I want ...

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Stepmom, today we are chatting with fellow stepmom and co-founder of the High Conflict Institute, Megan Hunter! If your stepchild's other parent is high-conflict, then this is a discussion you can't afford to miss! We're chatting all about practical, tangible tools to use when dealing with someone high-conflict and answering your most burning questions like:


  1. What traits define a high-conflict person?
  2. What are ...
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Have you ever felt like stepmomming has taken over your life? Like the main part of your identity is now “stepmom” and everything else has taken a backseat? I remember feeling like this pressure to be the perfect stepmom was the most important thing in my life, and I needed to be successful. I stopped doing many of the things I loved doing before meeting Kevin and Krista. I let stepmomming become all that I am. But it was suffocati...

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Two of the largest factors that can make an already-complicated role like stepmom even harder are blending two families and stepparenting when the children have lost their other parent. Today's guest, Rachel, shares all about her experience doing both, and how she navigated these challenges with intentionality, grace, and empathy. Even if you don't fit into either of those categories, you can learn SO much from her!


R...

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When my stepdaughter asked to call me "Mom," feelings of validation, warmth, and love overcame me. They were immediately followed by alarm bells. I refused to allow it. It felt disrespectful to the irreplaceable relationship she shares with her mom and the relationship I'd share with my future child. 


In today's episode, I share the heartwarming solution we came up with, and when I think it's okay for s...

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You don't know what you don't know... And that is never more true in blended families than when it comes to the critical importance of setting and discussing expectations with your partner! Today, I'm joined by fellow coach, Amy, who is tackling this huge topic with me! Together, we're giving you our very best tips for how to recognize your expectations for your role, home, relationship, and the ex, and how to g...

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If you struggle with insecurities because your partner experienced some of their firsts with someone else, you're definitely not alone! Being Kevin's second wife brought out insecurities in me I didn't even realize I was capable of. In today's episode, I'm normalizing the experience and giving you some of my BEST tips to reset your mindset and be more confident and present in your irreplaceable relationship...

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You are in for such an incredible conversation today, stepmom! I'm chatting with Ashley Machele, a mom who shares long-distance custody of her oldest daughter. She'll share her perspective co-parenting with a stepmom and asks how she can validate and empathize with her daughter's stepmom—a perspective she references as life-changing. We discuss boundaries her daughter's stepmom crossed, how she understands the p...

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So many of my coaching clients complain they’ve sacrificed too much—some feel they’ve sacrificed everything—for their partners to get everything they want. But stepmomming shouldn’t be sacrificial. In today's episode, we're talking about the difference between sacrificing and compromising, how to set boundaries, and the importance of communicating your needs and desires to your partner.


Links Mentioned:

Sarah Knight, F...

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When I first became a stepmom, I felt like I struggled to keep my head above water. I was overwhelmed in so many ways, and the more I struggled, the more ashamed of those struggles I became. Stepparenting is genuinely one of the hardest things I've ever done in my life, but with the right skills, I've found lasting peace and happiness in my marriage and family. If I could go back, here are 5 things I'd do now if I be...

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Hey, stepmom! Does your partner's guilt because of their separation and sharing custody affect their parenting? If so, this episode is for you! Today, I'm chatting with Tracy Poizner about the causes of guilty parenting syndrome, the effect it has on the children and the stepmom, and what you, as the stepmom, can do to empower your partner instead! It's a great interview full of valuable info you won't want to m...

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Holiday custody schedules can be brutal. When your stepchildren are at their other home for the holidays, it can exacerbate thoughts and feelings that your stepfamily is different from the one you always envisioned. It probably feels really unfair. You might feel lonely or miss them. That's a totally normal and natural response. But in today's episode, I'm sharing my BEST tips to make the most of the holidays before,...

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Resentment is pretty much a universal experience for stepmoms. If you've struggled with feeling resentful on your journey, you're definitely not alone! In today's episode, Beth McDonough and I discuss why resentment is so common for stepmoms and the reason why, steps you can take to identify your triggers, and how to overcome resentment in order to be fully present and engaged in your stepfamily!


Beth is a Certif...

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The holiday season is incredibly overwhelming for many stepmoms. In today's episode, I'm giving you permission to focus first on your peace of mind. Don't feel obligated to do more than you want to do. 


Say "yes" when you want to, let go of traditions that no longer serve you, and be more present by letting go of expectations of perfection. You deserve a joyful holiday season, stepmom!


Ready to set ...

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Calling all stepmoms struggling with picky eaters! Today, we're chatting with dietitian, Jenny, all about how to take the frustration out of mealtime with picky eaters! I am excited to share with you everything I learned in this interview about the causes of picky eating, ways to discuss food and mealtime to ease the struggles, setting boundaries with extended family members around your child's food choices, and SO much m...

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