Table Talks with the Tares

Tired people don't tend to slow down. They speed up, cram more in, and stay up late trying to claw back the little time that they have to themselves. We came home from vacation and did exactly that. So what actually gets you back to rest? In this episode we talk through what we had to clear out, the rhythms we knew we needed to lock in, and the one we kept treating as optional until it wrecked us.

Resources:

Margin: Restoring Emoti...

Mid haircut, MJ's barber asked: how do you know you're compatible with someone? Isn’t that what everyone wonders going into a relationship? This may sound crazy, but we've come to think it's the wrong question to ask. 

Compatibility asks where you match, and you’ll most likely tend to get along where you agree. So, we started asking something different: what are our differences, and can we actually live in unity wi...

Anger is one of those things you probably don't think you struggle with. But when someone lets you down, do you go cold? Get short? Decide it's not worth bringing up and tell yourself you're being the bigger person? That's the case for us. 

Then Ash read a book about how anger shows up. Some of it is loud, a hammer knocking down walls. But it shows up in more insidious ways too: resentment, dismissiveness, ignoring people, all...

You already know the prodigal son, the younger one who blows the inheritance and comes crawling home. But the story was never only about him. 

There's a second son out in the field, arms crossed, who did everything right and still won't go in, and here's the part that stings: there’s a prodigal and an older brother in each of us. 

In this episode we get into the divided soul, the war between what we ought to do and ...

What should a man aspire to? 

We recently toured the Billy Graham Library. Near the end of his life, Billy Graham realized he had reached the whole world but still wished he'd given more of himself to his own family. That stayed with MJ. 

In this episode he unpacks what it means to be a high agency father: a man who decides his family gets his best, even when good and worthy things are pulling for it everywhere else. Whet...

Every couple has that one thing from the past that keeps coming back into the present. 

For us, it surfaced right as we were getting ready to host family, with little margin left. If you've ever felt the past flare up right when life is already full, this episode meets you there. You'll watch us catch the spiral, name what's really underneath it, and find our way back. And you'll walk away with a clearer sense of how to get ba...

What if the pushback is the point? Your spouse pushes back, and the instinct is to get defensive. Genesis calls a spouse a helper, but the Hebrew means something closer to a helper who stands opposite you. The friction isn't a glitch. It's the design. We get into how to turn all that pushback into something you build with, instead of something you brace against.

Resources: Jeremy Pryor’s Article:   A Companion Who Helps ...

Some days are for laying bricks. Others are for making sure you’re not tearing down the walls. Some days we feel like we’re nailing it. Other days are monotonous, exhausting, and frustrating and suddenly we’re showing up in ways we didn’t mean. Anyone else? Proverbs 14:1 gives clear warning that a wise woman builds her house, while a foolish ones tears it down with her own hands. So, even on the unproductive...

Most family stress doesn't come from the big moments. It shows up in the ordinary transition moments nobody has a clear plan for.

In this episode, we get honest about the 4 daily transitions that were derailing our family life. Not because our kids were misbehaving, but because the expectations were never actually taught. They were just repeated. Every. Single. Day.

We talk about what was missing, the visual system we built to clos...

The hard part isn't the fight. It's figuring out what the fight is actually about.

In this episode, we talk about what happens when an old pain gets bumped and the reaction that comes out has nothing to do with the person standing in front of you.

You'll Walk Away With

• Why some reactions feel bigger than the moment and what that might be telling you.

• What it looked like when this showed up for us and why it's ...

Spoiler: physical touch doesn't mean what you think it does.

In this episode, we talk about the breakdown that happens when we try to love each other well but are speaking different languages.

You'll walk away with:

• Why it’s easy to default to your own love language even when you know better

• The real moment this showed up for us and how we worked through it

• One thing to say when you can feel the conver...

Have you ever meant well and still missed the mark?

You didn't need a solution. You needed someone to listen and somehow that got lost.

In this episode, we dig into one of the most common friction points in any close relationship: the moment one person needs to be heard and the other instinctively tries to help. It's not a communication problem. It's a mismatch in expectations. And one small question can change everything.

You'll W...

It started with MJ saying we need to take more risks as a family and somehow that turned into tent camping with a baby.

In this episode, we talk about why having strong rhythms isn't just about running a tight ship; it's what gives you the freedom to shake things up, try something hard, and actually recover from it. Plus, it’s a practical way we're teaching our kids to take measured risks.

You'll walk away with:

• • Wh...

Good intentions don’t automatically create the outcome you hope for.

MJ tried to give Ash a break but the rest didn't actually restore. In this episode we unpack why good intentions miss when people recharge differently, and the real difference between rest and restoration.

You'll walk away with:

• How loving your partner well means learning how they refuel
• The difference between rest and restoration, and why choosing what...

This episode is for everyone who's doing the right things and still feels like they're running behind because that's been us lately.

We're getting honest about what happens when the timeline you set for bouncing back from postpartum (your health, your family rhythms, your social life) just doesn't hold. Spoiler: ours hasn’t.

Here's what we're unpacking:

• Why “bouncing back” takes longer than we want to admit
• W...

Sunday nights started feeling kinda tense… like we were already behind before Monday even hit.

We realized it wasn’t our schedule, it was us being out of sync. Different expectations, missed communication, and all the other little stuff that adds up fast.

So, we started asking 3 simple questions before the week starts. It’s helped us get on the same page and cut down a lot of unnecessary friction.

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Next episode ...

Giving a real time health update and what it’s actually been like after 3 pregnancies. We talk about the pressure to “bounce back,” why we’re pushing against it, and what a slower, more sustainable approach to health looks like. If you’ve ever felt stuck and discouraged when it comes to your health journey, this one’s for you.

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Resources mentioned:

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Next episode recommended: https://podcasts.ap...

How do you handle stress in your relationship and how do you show up when your spouse is the one feeling it? This week we’re talking about how we’ve learned (and are still learning) to navigate stress without letting it take over. From recognizing each other’s signals to supporting without fixing, we’re sharing what’s helped us stay grounded and connected when life feels a little chaotic.

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Resources m...

We just celebrated 10 years of marriage with a cabin trip… and brought all three kids along. 😅 It was a blast and also a little reality check. We’re debriefing what we expected vs. what actually happened, where we maybe overshot things for this season, and how we’re learning to adjust expectations so they match real life with littles. If you’ve ever tried to make something special happen and ended up equal...