The Ex-Good Girl Podcast
Welcome to the Ex Good Girl Podcast! I’m Sara Bybee Fisk, the Stop People Pleasing Coach. If you feel exhausted from constant people pleasing and perfectionism, and you are ready to stop but you don’t know how, this podcast is for YOU! I will help you learn to stop making other people comfortable at your own expense. I can show you a roadmap you can use to train yourself to stop abandoning your own desires and let go of the fear of what others will think. If you are ready to stop pretending everything is fine, get out of the cycle of doubt, guilt, and resentment AND step into a life of power and freedom, I can help!
Episodes
Sometimes it's hard to imagine how we can stay in relationships where there are huge differences–political, religious, or otherwise. In this conversation with my friend Katherine Golub on her podcast Conflict Decoded, I talk about h...
Even with the powerful growth that can happen in coaching, the pressure cooker we’re all living in—the broken systems, the financial stress, the world that feels terrifying—can make everything feel harder, and much of it is beyond our control. But it doesn’t feel hard because you’re weak; it feels hard because it Read more
Conflict is one of the most paradoxical things I’ve encountered—in my own life and in the lives of my clients. For those of us who have been shaped by good girl conditioning, conflict most often feels like danger and disconnection. But when it happens within a container of safety and self-connection, it becomes a doorway to vulnerability, intimacy, and power. In this...
Because every one of us has been raised with the good girl rules—to be nice, agreeable, and never rock the boat—almost every woman I work with has the habit of over-apologizing. You’re capable, you’re accomplished, and you work hard, yet “sorry” slips out at the beginning of every sentence. In this episode, we explore how over-apologizing hurts you and how to practic...
When you stop outsourcing your safety, belonging, and worth, you discover the freedom of authenticity–of knowing who you are and what you want. In this episode, I speak with Béa Albina about her new book, End Emotional Outsourcing: How to Overcome Your Codependent, Perfectionist, and People-Pleasi...
Do you edit parts of yourself out of relationships because you're afraid of how people will react? Do you self-silence when you know what you have to say might not be pleasing to others? There is real discomfort in showing up authentically because it means risking rejection from the people we’re closest to. But the alternative comes with its own pain: the sadness and...
When you’re asked to take on extra work, stay late at the office, or do a favor for a friend or family member, do you ever say “yes” automatically, without thinking about what it will actually cost you? This habit is known as auto-accommodating, and it’s so common among people pleasers that I've decided to dedicate an episode to it. In this episode, we explore the pr...
Have you ever caught yourself in a self-doubt spiral, wondering if you’re overreacting, if you’re missing something, or if everyone else just knows better than you? The experience of self-doubt is so familiar for women, especially because of the patriarchal system we live in. But you deserve to feel confident in your emotions and your assessments. In this episode, I ...
I’m so excited to welcome Katherine Golub to the podcast today. Katherine and I have so much in common–not only our journeys of breaking free from good girl rules, but also our commitment to community organizing and social change. She is a coach for leaders and activists who want to continue showing up for their communities without burning out. In this conversation, ...
In this conversation, I’m joined by the author of Sovereign, hypnotist, and fellow ex-Mormon, Michaelann Gardner. Sovereign Read more
In the self-help space, it’s easy to assume someone else has it all together. The truth is, nobody does. While I have some answers—and I certainly can provide help to stop people-pleasing—I’m still learning, too. Today, I’m sharing recent changes and insights from my own life to offer an honest look at the messy, yet beautiful, journey of healing—and to remind you th...
I hear people use the word “stuck” all the time to describe problems or situations, but what does it really mean? You might feel stuck in a relationship you want to change but don’t know how, or caught in a pattern you keep repeating even when it no longer feels good. I’ve been reflecting on what it really means to be stuck—not just to understand it better, but to fi...
Living with ADHD means it doesn’t disappear once you find success–you can be kind, loving, respectful and still show up with your ADHD when you connect with yourself and take accountability. Today, I’m bringing you a conversation from the I Have ADHD Read more
As women, we receive so much messaging about how big our lives are allowed to be. Whether it’s patriarchy, childhood conditioning, or the communities we’re part of, many women learn that being convenient, optimistic, and helpful makes them lovable. Even though it isn’t true, that influence often keeps us from living our lives in a bigger way. In this episode, we expl...
Last week, I shared an interactive episode about people-pleasing and lying—today, we’re continuing the conversation. In this episode, I offer an approach that is based not on the morality of telling the truth, but on your values and human need for safety. We’ll take a deeper look at why we lie, the hidden costs it can have in our relationships, and how you can be ...
Lying is such an interesting topic—and after working with many women who feel stuck in patterns of people-pleasing, I’ve learned that lying and truth-telling are far more complex than they may seem. I’m not talking about lies meant to cause harm, but the everyday ones we tell to keep ourselves safe and comfortable: saying we’re fine when we’re not, or yes when we ...
Patriarchy is a system that has shaped our world for thousands of years, which can make unpacking the topic feel overwhelming. Today, I offer a basic overview of patriarchy with specific examples that show how we got here and how it continues to influence us today. Awareness is the key to greater power and greater choice in your life. I hope that this episode provide...
Parenting and relationships can take on a unique dynamic when neurodivergence is part of your life—whether it's your own diagnosis or that of your partner or kids. Today, you’ll hear my conversation with Jenny Hobbs, a physician and a life coach who works with women navigating ADHD and autism in themselves or their families. We explore what ADHD looks like for wom...
Today, I’m back with part two of my conversation with Enneagram coach Wendy Montgomery. In part one, we explored the nine Enneagram types and how people-pleasing can show up for each one. Now, we’re diving into what healing these habits looks like for each type and how the Enneagram can act as a guide for transformation. Here’s what we cover:
I have been so excited to have my dear friend and Enneagram coach, Wendy Montgomery, on the podcast. The Enneagram is an expansive and incredible tool that has helped me understand myself and those around me in a whole new way. In this two-part conversation, you’ll learn about all nine types and the insight they offer into Read more
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