The Ex-Good Girl Podcast

Because everybody needs a break sometimes, the Ex-Good Girl podcast is on a four week break. We'll be back on June 5th with new episodes.

Until then, listen to some of your old favorites, get caught up, or join my Stop People Pleasing Facebook group by finding the link in the show notes below.

I can't wait to connect with you.

Find Sara here:
https://sarafisk.coach
https://www.instagram.com/saraf...

I am so grateful to have a secure relationship with my husband, but it wasn’t always that way. Earlier in our relationship, I was terrified of being left by him, and I built myself an armor of hyper independence and dishonesty. I pretended to be ways I wasn’t to stay safe and “belong” with him. This lack of safety and insecurity in our relationship, I eventually realized, existed because I wasn’t safe with myself, and it wasn’t unt...

I’m incredibly thankful for Ashmae Hoiland for creating such an engaging conversation this week. Ashmae is a talented writer, painter, and maker.

Ashmae’s upcoming essay collection, Letters to a Leaving Mormon, will be released on November 1, 2024. Ahead of its release, we wanted to speak about how writing- one of the most ancient practices of humankind- helps us to better know and understand ourselves.

Because of...

We have this idea that acceptance means approval, that if we accept when something goes wrong—when a boundary is crossed, when someone disappoints us, when we get rejected—we’re saying it’s okay. When this is how we define acceptance, we avoid it; and when we avoid acceptance, we reject reality. We avoid processing our unmet expectations; we avoid the grief that comes with unmet expectations; and ultimately, we keep ourselves stuck...

Today I have Elizabeth Hester joining me on the podcast. She’s a current member of the Stop People Pleasing group coaching program that started back in January. She’s a mother, teacher, and lifelong student. She’s also the owner of multiple UPS stores in North Carolina. She’s been processing her grief from the loss of her husband in the ways that work best for her. Grieving goes hand in hand with people pleasing- it’s all about get...

I’m so grateful for my guest Kimberly Mathis and this week’s fascinating conversation. Kimberly is a queer therapist-turned-general life coach with an ADHD brain who helps people change what feels unchangeable. She teaches her clients how to make their own decisions and navigate difficult relationships - including the one they have with themselves. She works with clients 1:1, loves sharing her work and life with her community on In...

I want to have a conversation with you about the tension in this self-help marketing space so that you know where I’m coming from. I want you to know what my values are and I want you to know what I'm striving for. I want you to look at the lens of your own values through the products that are being marketed to you, because it is relentless. Making informed decisions about the self-help industry is so essential. Marketing can ...

This episode features conversations I did with four current participants of my Stop People Pleasing group coaching program: Natalie Hagwood, Elizabeth Sherman, Kelly True, and Gini Ewart. I hope that by hearing their stories, you're inspired to see what is possible for you, and take a little peek into some of the things that I teach. When each participant joins, I ask them the same questions about their experience. I feel like...

Maggie Reyes is a wonderful marriage coach who I had the honor of having as a coach myself. Maggie helped me get to another version of my marriage that has been just so delightful. She has a podcast called “The Marriage Life Coach Podcast.” Maggie’s double-certified as both a Life Coach and a Sex, Love and Relationship coach by two of the most innovative thinkers and teachers in the self development industry: Brooke Castillo and La...

This week, Sara Hughes-Zabawa LCSW, CDWF joins me to talk about advocating for yourself in a medical setting. Sara is a therapist, licensed clinical social worker, Certified Daring Way™ facilitator, yoga instructor, & wellness coach. She’s passionate about helping clients thrive as they enhance the quality of their lives through fostering improved awareness, insight, skill-building, and quality education and resources. She also...

This episode is all about relationships. As humans, we’re wired for connection and meant to have a variety of dynamics in our lives. Friendship, intimacy, and pleasure are necessary in life, as well as our independence. Life is the balance of independence vs. interdependence. In this episode I offer tools to help assess if you want to keep/continue to invest in the relationships in your life. This is your opportunity to consider yo...

Grief plays a big part in the journey to stopping people pleasing and perfectionating. It's the death or the changing of a former life- a former way of seeing the world, a former way that we used to relate to each other in relationships, a former way that we used to be rewarded and recognized. It comes up a lot in my group coaching program, Stop People Pleasing, and in my work with individual clients. As we change for the bett...

In this episode,  Kori Linn and I discuss Imposter Syndrome. Kori is a life and career coach as well as the host of the Satisfied AF podcast. She helps clients, listeners, and social media followers create more satisfaction & delight in every area of their lives. Imposter syndrome points the finger at individuals and burdens them with being “better” or improving. It burdens the marginalized individual with changing so that they...

This week I’m joined by Andrea Giles. She's a certified life coach and has a podcast called “Heal From Infidelity”. Andrea helps women sort out the confusion, grief, fear, doubt, and frustration that comes when infidelity (as well as other forms of betrayal) occurs in their marriage. Today we talk about our life stories and what got us here. We’re both on healing journeys and were part of similar religious worlds. Andrea share...

Our wanting is essential and important. Women feel shame around wanting because we’ve been taught to not want things. “Don't be needy or selfish.” How many times have you heard or felt this? Do you choose not to hope or strive for your heart's desires because it's easier to not want than to be disappointed? Wanting is opening up to your curiosity on your path to self-discovery. You can want impossible things. You can...

For this episode, Laura Sully joins me to share her experience having a consult with me. Booking a consult with me is the best way to start your journey with stopping people pleasing. When you start working with me, I’ll give you tools that are immediately useful in your life. Then we’ll get into processing emotions and dive deeper into the roots of people pleasing in your life. After working with me, you’ll see yourself in a compl...

What if 2024 is the year you stop people pleasing? What if you started to create a world around you where you feel respected by yourself and others? The universality of our preprogramming aka good girl programming silently shapes us. We can learn to overcome the discomfort, and gain the respect we desire from ourselves and others. It’s possible to belong, feel loved, and feel respected by others and ourselves. This is your year and...

Elizabeth Sherman joins me this week to discuss midlife and the changes women experience on different levels. Humans socialized as women experience emotional, physical, and mental changes as they get older. Health should be the overall goal but our society's ways of thinking mess that up. Diet culture and the patriarchy are such negative influences. Food and emotions co-relate - we have to learn to listen to ourselves. Have th...

Andee Martineau and I continue our conversation this week about people pleasing and parenting. Tolerating failures and disappointments with your children can be challenging but it is possible to deal with. The need to fix, save, and/or rescue can be consuming. As a parent, you have to be true to yourself and respect yourself first while also respecting and loving others. Stopping the patterns and the cycles of people pleasing is po...