RecoverU | Betrayal Trauma, Sex Addiction Support, Betrayal Recovery, Reconciliation, Porn Addiction Recovery

This week Kylene and Patrick discuss 3 mindsets that will set you up for success in recovery and how those impact the betrayed partner and the addict in their journeys.

 

1. I am more than my circumstances
2. Healing is possible for everyone, but requires change and change is uncomfortable 
3. There is something better that is available to me

 

 

If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching...

In today’s episode, Jackie Newman shares about the journal/workbook she co-authored called Unapologetically You. 

 

Unapologetically You is your personal companion on a transformative journey towards inner peace, emotional healing, and self-awareness. This journal offers a collection of guided prompts, exercises, and reflective spaces to help you reconnect with your true self, heal old wounds, and embrace the fullness of who you ar...

Today’s episode is a speech that Kylene was asked to present about overcoming adversity. She shares some of her own story as well as 3 keys she notices helps her and others move through painful experiences: Value, Clarity and Courage —> Knowing who you are, getting clarity on the future, and having courage to take steps towards it.

 

She shares these 5 truths:

1. You are not responsible for the behavior, reactions or thinking ...

In todays episode, Patrick shares his thoughts on 3 important principles for a sex addict to remember in recovery:

1. It takes time - don’t expect your betrayed partner to recover from discovery quickly. There are many factors that play into their ability to heal and everyone’s relationship and trauma level is different. Healing and relational reconciliation is a lifelong commitment.
2. Demonstrate consistency so you can create safe...

Sometimes divorce isn’t just admissible, it’s beneficial. When a relationship hinders one or both parties from moving forward in health, divorce may be the best choice.

 

Kylene and Patrick know that there are many reasons that a couple may struggle with this decision including faith based guilt, internalized people pleasing, financial reasons, children etc… This is an nuanced conversation, and one that a single episode certainly w...

In this episode, Patrick explores the critical role that habits, routines, and daily discipline play in deep, lasting recovery. He emphasizes the value of fully engaging with all the tools and resources available in whatever recovery plan or program you're following. Patrick also shares insights on the power of journaling and the importance of being intentional when replacing old, unhealthy patterns with new, life-giving ones.

 

If...

Both the addict in recovery and the betrayed partner may struggle with self confidence, self worth, or both. But are they different?    In this episode, Kylene and Patrick unpack the differences between self-confidence and self-worth, sharing how each has wrestled with these issues in their own lives—Kylene with low self-confidence and Patrick with low self-worth.    They explore how these struggles have shown up in their personal ...

In this weeks episode, Kylene and Patrick discuss how patterns of thinking and behavior like: compartmentalization, the ability to feel deeply, and being someone who’s able to take action and get things done, can be great strengths in recovery, but those same strengths can also be our weaknesses in a different scenario.

 

They discuss how understanding our wounds, identifying the filters we view life through, and processing our emo...

Meet Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith. In today’s episode, they share their personal story recovering from sex addiction and betrayal trauma. They share the ups and downs of their recovery and the process of healing they have found to be successful not only for themselves but for hundreds of other couples pursuing reconciliation as well.

 

Find their book Building True Intimacy here: https://a.co/d/dnwA2rw 

Check out their free check-i...

In today's episode, Kylene walks through the 5 phases of recovery, common things you may feel or experience in these phases, and how to know if you are moving through them into the next phase. She offers some questions to consider and steps to take in order to continue moving forward in your healing process.   WELCOME to the new RecoverU facebook group - if you are a betrayed partner please join us HERE: www.facebook.com/groups/rec...

Show notes: In today's episode, Kylene and Patrick talk about shame, how it hinders recovery and wreaks havoc in relationships, and how you can begin to move through it to release it as part of your recovery journey.      Interested in joining us for Sexual Integrity 101? Register with the link below! Have more questions? Reach out to PatrickATerhune@gmail.com and we would love to answer them :) SI 101: https://docs.google.com/form...

In today's episode, Kylene and Patrick discuss 3 pieces of advice that are helpful in theory but not in practice when it comes to marriage and reconciliation.   They share how:

• Don't control your partner
• Marriage is hard
• Divorce is not an option

...are often shared with well meaning intent but can actually cause harm and dysfunction in relationships when understood in certain ways.   Interested in joining us for Sexual ...

In today's episode, Kylene shares how recovery has helped her step into her voice again, culminating in a successful concert where Patrick even sang a duet! They share how sticking through recovery during the hard times really allowed them to feel so safe, happy and relaxed together in a way that years ago would have felt impossible.   Enjoy bits of the concert here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL8Q5jecgJblS1r8-hN8MRoAS20...

In today's episode, Kylene answers questions submitted by betrayed partners including - how do you deal with the pain of an affair and what happens if he says he loves you, but isn't "in love" with you?   She answers these questions in a very broad perspective but encourages each individual to work with a practitioner 1:1 so that your individual pain points and relational nuance can be taken into consideration.   Sex ThroughRecover...

In this episode, Kylene and Patrick talk about the reality of stress, how it can impact your body after betrayal, and how stress won't go away after recovery! They share some personal experiences as well as three things you can do today to help you deal with every stressors:  Stay connected in community, determine next steps, and prioritize self care.  

If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 co...

In today's episode, Casey shares his personal story navigating pornography addiction, how technology played a significant role in his exposure and development of addiction, and throughout hte episode we discuss several things we can do as a society and as parents to support our children in living porn free lives.   Resources:  

Gabb Phones - www.GABB.com

Needed Navigation (book) - https://a.co/d/aEWD7xE

SheRecovery.com - Women’s r...

In today's episode we answer questions ranging from how we met to how we navigate conflict, and how we help each other through tough times. We have included the questions with a link below in case you would like to use them in a conversation with your partner!    Questions in today's episode: https://tinyurl.com/9kjca7m9  

If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click th...

It’s always easier to identify negative patterns in someone else. In today’s episode, Kylene shares four common patterns that can show up in both the addicted partner and the betrayed partner — but in different ways:

1. Qualifying and Comparing

2. Using Absolutes like “Always” and “Never”

3. Looking Outward Instead of Inward

4. Dehumanizing Thoughts or Behaviors

While these patterns may show up very differently, we...

In today's episode, Patrick shares four ways a recovering addict can show up for their betrayed partner while demonstrating consistency, sincerity and healing:

• Make an effort to understand
• Focus on your own healing 
• Practice your responses
• Don't seek her external validation

We often mention the "Help Her Heal" workbook and encourage you to utilize the exercises within the book while personalizing them for your own rela...