RecoverU | Betrayal Trauma, Sex Addiction Support, Betrayal Recovery, Reconciliation, Porn Addiction Recovery

After discovery, a betrayed partner is left trying to make sense of a reality that suddenly feels upside down. Moments and symbols once filled with joy -like wedding photos, anniversaries, rings - can now feel heavy and confusing.

In today’s episode, Kylene and Patrick share their personal approach to some of these difficult moments. They explore the emotions these events bring up from both perspectives, and reflect on the differe...

In today's episode, Kylene and Patrick share several experiences to anticipate as you navigate initial sobriety from porn or sex addiction patterns including:

• Dreams and Intrusive Thoughts
• Uncomfortable Emotions
• Nocturnal Emissions
• Alternative coping mechanisms or behaviors 

They discuss the importance of choice through sobriety, how deep recovery means living a life making conscious choices vs falling into the belief ...

Content Warning: Today's episode is discussing some of traumatic events that have happened in our society lately and that are all over the news leading to a heavier episode. Please be aware of where you are in your recovery if this episode is appropriate for you.   Things we discuss: The impact of national violence and how it impacts us individually  How societal change starts individually  The importance of connection and communit...

Life and recovery are rarely simple. Sometimes, unique dynamics add even more layers to an already complex journey.

In this episode, Kylene and Patrick explore three challenging scenarios that can complicate the recovery process:

 

• What if the betrayed partner has also struggled with addiction but in another form?
• What if the betrayed partner has also had an affair in the past? 
• What if the betrayed partner has looked at porn?...

As much as we wish it were, healing isn't always linear. There are ups and downs, and moments where we are living happily in the present and are reminded of the past.    In today's episode Kylene and Patrick share about grief, how confusing it can feel for the betrayed partner, and how important it is to recognize that healing doesn't mean we forget what happened.   It's normal for thoughts, emotions or memories to come up years la...

Boundaries aren't just helpful for the hurt spouse, they are crucial for the recovering spouse as well. They can create structure, offer safety and give the betrayed partner the information they need in order to make decisions about the future of the relationship.   There are many individuals that struggle with the idea of boundaries. In today's episode, we offer some reframes around what boundaries mean and how to think about them...

In this episode, Kylene and Patrick explore the difference between compliance—“just checking the boxes”, and true proactivity, where personal responsibility becomes the driving force of recovery.

They share why compliance alone can feel hollow, often leaving betrayed partners frustrated as they wait for their spouse to engage in recovery with equal energy and commitment.

Together, they unpack why consistency matters, and how the p...

In today’s episode, Kylene and Patrick discuss healthy sexuality after betrayal, addiction and infidelity.  What is healthy sexuality? Why is consent so important and what does that look like? 

 

They share thoughts on what plays into our beliefs around sexuality and their own personal experiences around healing.

 

They mention the Raabsmiths book: “Building True Intimacy” which you can see here: https://raabsmithteam.com

 

Kylene ...

In today’s brief episode, Kylene and Patrick continue the conversation from last time, where they explored the difference between finding someone attractive and feeling sexual arousal in recovery. This time, they share key resources that have influenced their understanding of healthy sexuality and reinforce the empowering truth that we can take ownership of our thoughts, behaviors, and responses. With this mindset, recovery becomes...

In today's episode Kylene and Patrick answer a question about a recovering addict being attracted to women in yoga pants. When is noticing someone is attractive a threat to the betrayed partner or to their own sobriety/recovery?   They discuss objectification vs humanizing and how seeing someone as a whole human being makes a difference. They share how being able to walk in the world feeling free no matter what you see or are expos...

In this short episode. Patrick reflects on his divorce, and parenting through that time. He shares his perspective and lived experience of divorce after infidelity, and starting over with almost nothing while also realizing that it was the healthiest choice in his particular circumstances.   If you would like to listen to the previous episode that we refer to around children and divorce you can go to episode #123 or click here: htt...

In this episode, Kylene and Patrick explore five essential things a betrayed partner needs from their spouse in order to truly heal. They unpack each element with depth and honesty, including:

• Taking full responsibility without minimizing or making excuses

• Creating safety—especially by addressing power dynamics and physical presence

• Making her feel seen, chosen, and prioritized

• Recovering for yourself, not just to save...

Today, Kylene walks through what steps can help us navigate triggers and calm ruminating thoughts after betrayal. She discusses:   1. Why safety is the foundation that has to be laid first  and what that looks and feels like 2. How subconscious processing is what really moves the needle when we have sticky triggers 3. The importance of identifying core wounds to really resolve the root of the recurring thoughts   Previous episodes ...

In today's episode, Carly and Kylene are discussing things to consider when navigating betrayal, reconciliation, divorce and children. We understand that this is a complex conversation and this episode is not saying there is one right or wrong answer - rather, we are sharing some thoughts and perspectives that we hope may be helpful.  

They discuss Carly's personal experience and thoughts around her parents divorce, the importance...

In today’s episode, Kylene and Patrick discuss what ingredients are involved in a healthy marriage. These include: 

 

1. Liking each other as friends 
2. Emotional support for each other
3. Playing on the same team
4. Being willing to apologize and take responsibility for your own behavior
5. Freedom and safety in every aspect of the relationship

 

After betrayal and through addiction recovery, couples have a real opportunity to start ...

In today's episode Kylene and Patrick walk through 5 practical and actionable steps to consider after discovery. What actually helps create stability when you're just beginning your recovery journey?   Here are 5 steps to consider:

• Sleeping in separate spaces to give yourself the opportunity to reset and recover
• Setting boundaries around communication
• Getting connected to practitioners specializing in addiction and betrayal
• M...

This week Kylene and Patrick discuss 3 mindsets that will set you up for success in recovery and how those impact the betrayed partner and the addict in their journeys.

 

1. I am more than my circumstances
2. Healing is possible for everyone, but requires change and change is uncomfortable 
3. There is something better that is available to me

 

 

If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching...

In today’s episode, Jackie Newman shares about the journal/workbook she co-authored called Unapologetically You. 

 

Unapologetically You is your personal companion on a transformative journey towards inner peace, emotional healing, and self-awareness. This journal offers a collection of guided prompts, exercises, and reflective spaces to help you reconnect with your true self, heal old wounds, and embrace the fullness of who you ar...

Today’s episode is a speech that Kylene was asked to present about overcoming adversity. She shares some of her own story as well as 3 keys she notices helps her and others move through painful experiences: Value, Clarity and Courage —> Knowing who you are, getting clarity on the future, and having courage to take steps towards it.

 

She shares these 5 truths:

1. You are not responsible for the behavior, reactions or thinking ...