RecoverU | Betrayal Trauma, Sex Addiction Support, Betrayal Recovery, Reconciliation, Porn Addiction Recovery

Both the addict in recovery and the betrayed partner may struggle with self confidence, self worth, or both. But are they different?    In this episode, Kylene and Patrick unpack the differences between self-confidence and self-worth, sharing how each has wrestled with these issues in their own lives—Kylene with low self-confidence and Patrick with low self-worth.    They explore how these struggles have shown up in their personal ...

In this weeks episode, Kylene and Patrick discuss how patterns of thinking and behavior like: compartmentalization, the ability to feel deeply, and being someone who’s able to take action and get things done, can be great strengths in recovery, but those same strengths can also be our weaknesses in a different scenario.

 

They discuss how understanding our wounds, identifying the filters we view life through, and processing our emo...

Meet Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith. In today’s episode, they share their personal story recovering from sex addiction and betrayal trauma. They share the ups and downs of their recovery and the process of healing they have found to be successful not only for themselves but for hundreds of other couples pursuing reconciliation as well.

 

Find their book Building True Intimacy here: https://a.co/d/dnwA2rw 

Check out their free check-i...

In today's episode, Kylene walks through the 5 phases of recovery, common things you may feel or experience in these phases, and how to know if you are moving through them into the next phase. She offers some questions to consider and steps to take in order to continue moving forward in your healing process.   WELCOME to the new RecoverU facebook group - if you are a betrayed partner please join us HERE: www.facebook.com/groups/rec...

Show notes: In today's episode, Kylene and Patrick talk about shame, how it hinders recovery and wreaks havoc in relationships, and how you can begin to move through it to release it as part of your recovery journey.      Interested in joining us for Sexual Integrity 101? Register with the link below! Have more questions? Reach out to PatrickATerhune@gmail.com and we would love to answer them :) SI 101: https://docs.google.com/form...

In today's episode, Kylene and Patrick discuss 3 pieces of advice that are helpful in theory but not in practice when it comes to marriage and reconciliation.   They share how:

• Don't control your partner
• Marriage is hard
• Divorce is not an option

...are often shared with well meaning intent but can actually cause harm and dysfunction in relationships when understood in certain ways.   Interested in joining us for Sexual ...

In today's episode, Kylene shares how recovery has helped her step into her voice again, culminating in a successful concert where Patrick even sang a duet! They share how sticking through recovery during the hard times really allowed them to feel so safe, happy and relaxed together in a way that years ago would have felt impossible.   Enjoy bits of the concert here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL8Q5jecgJblS1r8-hN8MRoAS20...

In today's episode, Kylene answers questions submitted by betrayed partners including - how do you deal with the pain of an affair and what happens if he says he loves you, but isn't "in love" with you?   She answers these questions in a very broad perspective but encourages each individual to work with a practitioner 1:1 so that your individual pain points and relational nuance can be taken into consideration.   Sex ThroughRecover...

In this episode, Kylene and Patrick talk about the reality of stress, how it can impact your body after betrayal, and how stress won't go away after recovery! They share some personal experiences as well as three things you can do today to help you deal with every stressors:  Stay connected in community, determine next steps, and prioritize self care.  

If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 co...

In today's episode, Casey shares his personal story navigating pornography addiction, how technology played a significant role in his exposure and development of addiction, and throughout hte episode we discuss several things we can do as a society and as parents to support our children in living porn free lives.   Resources:  

Gabb Phones - www.GABB.com

Needed Navigation (book) - https://a.co/d/aEWD7xE

SheRecovery.com - Women’s r...

In today's episode we answer questions ranging from how we met to how we navigate conflict, and how we help each other through tough times. We have included the questions with a link below in case you would like to use them in a conversation with your partner!    Questions in today's episode: https://tinyurl.com/9kjca7m9  

If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click th...

It’s always easier to identify negative patterns in someone else. In today’s episode, Kylene shares four common patterns that can show up in both the addicted partner and the betrayed partner — but in different ways:

1. Qualifying and Comparing

2. Using Absolutes like “Always” and “Never”

3. Looking Outward Instead of Inward

4. Dehumanizing Thoughts or Behaviors

While these patterns may show up very differently, we...

In today's episode, Patrick shares four ways a recovering addict can show up for their betrayed partner while demonstrating consistency, sincerity and healing:

• Make an effort to understand
• Focus on your own healing 
• Practice your responses
• Don't seek her external validation

We often mention the "Help Her Heal" workbook and encourage you to utilize the exercises within the book while personalizing them for your own rela...

Erin Stretar (pronounced Streeter) shares three powerful tools she recommends to all her clients navigating betrayal recovery in this week’s RecoverU episode.

Discover how journaling, self-soothing techniques, and building a strong support system can empower your healing journey. Erin provides practical tips and real-life applications you can start using today!

Learn more about her work and connect with Erin at estretartherapy.com

...

In this episode, Kylene and Patrick walk through how to use a polygraph (lie detector test) as part of recovery, reconciliation and trust building after betrayal and discovery.   Some questions they answer are:

• Why use a polygraph?
• How to find a polygrapher
• What to look for in a polygrapher- interview questions to consider 
• Best practices for creating questions to be asked on the polygraph

If you are in Ohio or willin...

Congratulations to Patrick on 4 years in recovery! I'm so proud of you. In this episode, Kylene briefly shares what it feels like to be hitting the 4 year mark of recovery together, and why the intense and purposeful effort they made has truly been worth it.  

If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://p.bttr.to/3ttk...

Divorce feels similar to being widowed. You've lost your partner, you've lost the life and the future you thought you had, and you experience a significant amount of grief.   Divorce after betrayal can feel isolating and overwhelming. This is why Kim Hansen Petroni has written her workbook: "Not a Casserole Widow" to provide education and cultivate self confidence in betrayed spouses pursuing divorce.   Learn more about divorce aft...

Life can be stressful on its own, but navigating recovery after addiction and betrayal adds layers of tension, overwhelming emotions, and uncertainty. In today’s episode, Kylene and Patrick explore how the fruits of the Spirit can serve as a powerful self-reflection tool to guide growth and healing in your recovery journey.

By focusing on cultivating love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and sel...

Is there a difference between sobriety and recovery? Is recovery just a longer version of sobriety?   In this episode of RecoverU Kylene and Patrick share their perspective on the differences between sobriety and recovery and the type of actions and behaviors it takes to move into a life of recovery, and ultimately freedom, after a life of sex or porn addiction!     Please fill out this (short!) feedback survey helping us to know ...