RecoverU | Betrayal Trauma, Betrayal Recovery, Porn Addiction Recovery, Relationships, Infidelity
RecoverU is a podcast where we talk about sex addiction, betrayal trauma, mental, emotional and physical health, faith, and anything and everything needed to RecoverU to your most authentic self that God created you to be.
Episodes
October 21, 2026 • 59 mins
In this episode, Kylene and Patrick explore five essential things a betrayed partner needs from their spouse in order to truly heal. They unpack each element with depth and honesty, including:
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Taking full responsibility without minimizing or making excuses
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Creating safety—especially by addressing power dynamics and physical presence
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Making her feel seen, chosen, and prioritized
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Recovering for yourself, not ju...
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Mark as Played
October 14, 2026 • 45 mins
This week we share some (random) reflections on recovery and our experience going to our first conference related to betrayal and addiction recovery!
Some topics we discuss:
- What it felt like to be in a place full of individuals sharing a similar journey
- Why it's important to challenge what you believe and listen to people viewed as teachers or leaders with discernment
- Some helpful persp...
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Mark as Played
October 7, 2026 • 50 mins
Today Kylene answers a listener's submitted question about what to do if the betrayer won't go to a support group?
Books mentioned:
How to Untie a Balloon: (book around dealing with pressure) https://amzn.to/471SJYw
Nothing to Fear: (book about end of life choices) https://amzn.to/3TKZnzk
The Big Relief: (book about grace) https://amzn.to/4ALa9GB
Anatomy of the Soul...
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Mark as Played
September 30, 2026 • 31 mins
Today, Kylene walks through some questions from chapter 4 of How to Untie A Balloon: A negotiator's Guide to Avoid Popping Under Pressure byRyan Dunlap, and shares some of her thoughts around them.
Get the book (amazon affiliate link): "How to Untie A Balloon": https://amzn.to/4xR4Rq6
Listen to episode 204 from Inner Work podcast with Maryann Walked about stories we tell ourselves vs facts: https://podcasts....
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Mark as Played
September 23, 2026 • 47 mins
This week's episode focuses on 4 things that couples have who are happy in their marriages:
1) Individual health
2) Regulating each others nervous systems
3) Conflicts are constructive
4) They love being together
We discuss our thoughts on each of these and how they apply through the recovery journey.
Check out the What's NEXT course for newly betrayed partners:
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Mark as Played
September 16, 2026 • 72 mins
In this week's episode, Patrick shares his story and how he related to Kylene through recovery. While every couples specific journey is a little different, Patrick hits on several key points that are universal pillars that we see help couples successfully heal including:
- 100% honesty and transparency
- Personal investment and proactive behaviors in your own recovery
- Empathy and compassion for the betrayed partner...
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Mark as Played
September 9, 2026 • 26 mins
Today Patrick discusses the importance of connection through recovery. It's not just going to group, it's being proactive in reaching out. Your recovery is your responsibility which means that in order to build these relationships, you also need to initiate, be consistent, and utilize the connection and friendships before an emergency arises.
Patrick shares some of his personal experiences and the benefits&nbs...
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Mark as Played
September 1, 2026 • 42 mins
In this week's episode Kylene is discussing why a betrayed partner may not want to be touched after discovery. There are many reasons a betrayed partner may struggle with touch or physical intimacy after discovering infidelity in their relationship - Kylene walks through several reasons and highlights the importance of safety as the foundation of moving forward.
Check out these previous episodes about sexand intinm...
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Mark as Played
August 26, 2026 • 49 mins
Today's episode is about modesty - should we focus on it? Should we even have "modesty standards?"
We discuss how focusing on this is focusing on the wrong thing and actually keeps people stuck. When we focus on a micro point instead of a macro value and then try to project it onto others as their responsibility to follow it in order for me to be healthy, we are missing the mark.
Alternatively - what d...
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Mark as Played
August 19, 2026 • 47 mins
In today's episode, Kylene and Patrick discuss the strategy of crowding out the "bad" with the good. Whenever you want to change habits or patterns they recommend using 3 steps:
1) Identify the change that needs to be made (what are you temping, adding in or changing?)
2) Take some time to identify what that current thing or pattern offers you (Is it stability? Comfort? Distraction?)
3) Replace the old hab...
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Mark as Played
August 12, 2026 • 40 mins
In today's episode, Kylene has guest Tyler Patrick on as he discusses what the recovery process for sex and pornography addicts looks like. He takes a principle based approach that moves individuals beyond focusing on sobriety and into a deeper focus on transforming their lives into people of integrity and authenticity so they can live lives of true freedom.
We hope you will check out his great work with the links below...
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Mark as Played
August 5, 2026 • 51 mins
In this week's episode Kylene and Patrick walk through 4 things important for a betrayed partner to focus on shortly after discovering their partner has been unfaithful. Then they walk through 4 things that we often *want* to focus on or feel obligated to focus on, but may not be beneficial to your healing early on.
If would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a f...
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Mark as Played
July 29, 2026 • 49 mins
In this week's episode Kylene is discussing several areas where the end of a spectrum can be unhealthy when we sit there too long in our recovery journey. She explores the opposite sides of unhealth and shares how truth, healing and freedom is usually in the nuanced middle.
See visual summary notes from todays episode: https://canva.link/ntp2ynqpk2dkuir
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Mark as Played
July 22, 2026 • 51 mins
In this week's episode Kylene and Patrick discuss how important having a vision, plan and goal is. When you hit relational roadblocks along the way, how do you know when it's time to push through vs when to change plans?
The recovery journey will be hard. There will be roadblocks, hurdles, emotional triggers along the way... how do you know when it's healthy to push to through? When do you know it's ...
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Mark as Played
July 15, 2026 • 59 mins
In this weeks episode Kylene and Patrick are talking about 7 phrases used through healing and recovery that are beneficial and true, AND can be misapplied or misinterpreted to hinder healing.
See how these statements...
- You can’t control your partners recovery
- Healing isn't linear turns into
- Boundaries are about how you respond-
- Addiction is a trauma response
- Forgiveness is good for the pe...
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Mark as Played
July 8, 2026 • 52 mins
In today's episode, Kylene and Patrick are answering a listener's question regarding male brains. Are they really that different from female brains? Can they really not help themselves? Can they CHANGE?
They share how no, male female brains are not really different, however, societal shaping HAS treated men differently than women. When we are taught that this is just "normal" and "boys will be boys" they...
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Mark as Played
July 1, 2026 • 47 mins
Marcy Middleton is currently working on her undergraduate degree in Applied Psychology with a minor in Biblical Studies. She serves as the Sexual Formation Deacon along with her husband at her home church in Bend, Oregon. She has led in-person groups at her home church for 3 years and also loves helping lead worship as a volunteer.
In today's episode Marcy shares talks about mid recovery. That place after discovery, after sa...
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Mark as Played
June 24, 2026 • 56 mins
In today's episode Kylene and Patrick discuss the idea of choosing the life you live. So much of our choices are made subconsciously by programs running in the background that have been created in our life through family systems, painful moments, and our brains trying to make sense out of life...
Healing means identifying the patterns and consciously choosing the patterns we want to keep or release and making decis...
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Mark as Played
June 17, 2026 • 37 mins
This week Patrick takes some time to reflect on recovery, parenting, and Keegan's graduation.
There are so many gifts that deep recovery work gives you including better relationships with yourself, with your children and with others. Kylene and Patrick are so appreciative of the work they have done that has increased emotional maturity, communication, and safety within relationships. We wish that same gift for you though this ...
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Mark as Played
June 10, 2026 • 34 mins
In todays episode Kylene answers listener submitted questions and discusses things like:
- What's the role of the betrayed partner?
- What level of guardrails should we set up- should the betrayed partner have access to all the passwords?
- What are the empathy and restitution letters?
- What if the addict is doing the "right things" but feels resentful?
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Mark as Played
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