December 23, 2024 • 45 mins
It’s our final Dear Banya of 2024! Things get emotional on this round, when Becca helps a Scrubber who’s navigating a new relationship and we try to help another who wants to make her elopement special.
Plus, we revisit the ultimate opening line, the power of “quitting”, and another Sonic audition from Tanya!
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Scrubbing in with Bell and Tanya rap An iHeartRadio podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Hello everybody, we are scrubbing in.
Speaker 3 (00:12):
Scrub a dub.
Speaker 4 (00:13):
A dub a dub dub dumb.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
Wow, that was effortless.
Speaker 4 (00:19):
Yeah, with Tan, I do I put a bronzer on
in the car in the parking.
Speaker 5 (00:24):
Garage, not a lot of lights.
Speaker 4 (00:26):
So yeah, my life is very glamorous, so I don't
maybe I put too much on.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
I couldn't really, So you're giving like fresh from vacation, Yeah,
with the blonde, fresh blonde in the leather jacket.
Speaker 5 (00:39):
Say it again, the fresh from the island. Yeah, island girly.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
How are we doing today?
Speaker 5 (00:46):
We're doing good. How are you doing?
Speaker 2 (00:48):
I'm great? And I know people are wanting an update
about something that we had scheduled for a lot. Are
you talking about are you talking about it? An update
about our drinks with.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
Yeah j L.
Speaker 4 (01:04):
We like to call her dale h.
Speaker 6 (01:07):
And how did it go? Do you guys have a
good time?
Speaker 2 (01:10):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (01:11):
We didn't go. Okay, it did not, in fact make
it out of the group chat. It is still in
the group chat and in the works for twenty twenty five.
Speaker 6 (01:22):
So wait what happened? Because she even said something about
like has she heard something you said on the radio,
and she said, all we have to talk about that
will get Yes, yes.
Speaker 4 (01:29):
It was a last minute, but 'tis the season and
she was not feeling well.
Speaker 6 (01:34):
A lot going around, I know.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
So, I mean it was like two hours before it
was like yeah. She was like, I hope you haven't
left yet.
Speaker 5 (01:43):
Yeah, yeah, close. It was close, Haley.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
Guys, I knew she was going to cancel.
Speaker 4 (01:53):
This was canceled not feeling well.
Speaker 5 (01:57):
Right, you think she canceled? You just didn't want to go.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
I don't think she Here's the thing. I don't think
she doesn't want to go get drinks with us.
Speaker 4 (02:06):
But I sent the morning was it the morning or
the day before something like something? She heard that I
was on a cleanse on the air, and she's like,
you can't be on a cleanse for our drinks date.
Speaker 5 (02:14):
So she was like ready to go.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
No, no, no, But you know, how the day comes.
I don't know if anyone else releases in this room.
Sometimes the day comes and I think J. L. H
is kind of like see her being a becka when
it comes to like social outings, like being very selective,
and maybe the day comes and what day comes and
you're just like, man, it's been a really busy holiday season.
(02:39):
There's a lot going on. Do I want to get
out into the world this eve and go like get
drinks and stuff.
Speaker 4 (02:48):
If that were the case, I think she'd say, hey,
I have a lot going on.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
You're right, you probably would.
Speaker 5 (02:53):
Yeah, she's not gonna make up.
Speaker 2 (02:54):
Maybe I'm projected.
Speaker 4 (02:56):
Have you ever done that? Have you ever faked being
sick to get out of something?
Speaker 2 (03:00):
Oh? Yeah, that's what karma? Why though.
Speaker 4 (03:11):
Being sick?
Speaker 2 (03:12):
No, I feel like it was a dirt. It's a
gift when people do it to me. Fortunately, I surround
myself with very like excited people who never cancel on me,
never get me the out.
Speaker 4 (03:25):
No.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
I actually really appreciated j L h hitting or stup
like that.
Speaker 4 (03:31):
I sent her the text that she sent me, and
she was relieved. Honestly, I was like, oh finished.
Speaker 6 (03:36):
Why.
Speaker 4 (03:36):
I was relieved because it was Haley's last night before
she went to New York.
Speaker 6 (03:40):
I was happy to spend Yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:42):
I wasn't relieved, just like, oh, thank god it off
to do that. I was just like, first of all,
the choice was in Santa Monica, which is a hell
for me.
Speaker 5 (03:51):
To get to at like peak traffic hours traffic.
Speaker 2 (03:54):
So I was gonna leave like an hour and a
half before.
Speaker 4 (03:57):
So I had like already gotten ready. So I had
hair appointment that was already scheduled before I drink. So
I was like, Okay, I can make this work. I'll
finish my hair appointment around the time that I would
have to like leave to get to Santa Monica. So
I like got dressed, got my cute off it on.
I was wearing a freaking body suit thong bodysuit, so
I have like a thong up my whole hair.
Speaker 6 (04:17):
Yes, I don't even know what that means. It hurts,
it hurts, It sounds awful.
Speaker 7 (04:22):
Sounds bad.
Speaker 5 (04:22):
Yeah, I have snaps too, yep, right in the badge.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
Okay, someone needs to figure this out, because there's some
really cute bodysuit options.
Speaker 4 (04:33):
However, Skims does do not quote me on that because
I don't know for sure spoiler alert, but I feel
like Skims has uh cap what do you call snapless
cross snapless crotches, magnets.
Speaker 2 (04:47):
No, it's just fabric, which is way more pleasing for
the body. Yeah, not this hat between having a seamed
thong like with seams and then snaps right in the
center of your vagina. It's it's quite a commitment.
Speaker 5 (05:06):
So I had a three hour hair appointment.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
So your girl was like, you should have like unsnapped
him and just had him tugged for the appointment.
Speaker 4 (05:16):
You know, hindsight.
Speaker 5 (05:19):
I am sorry that hindsight.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
Here's the thing when I do that, if I cancel
and like fake sick, I do it like in the morning,
if it's like a nighttime thing.
Speaker 4 (05:27):
So okay, it doesn't make it.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
But I was saying, like, I feel bad that you
are already ready, Like that kind of makes you feel sad.
It's like sad cute.
Speaker 4 (05:35):
Yeah, I was ready, Like I really, I was like.
Speaker 5 (05:40):
Really snaps. So then I was like, oh my gosh,
I have like four hours back in my day.
Speaker 4 (05:46):
What should I do now. I was gonna like come
to your house, and then I looked at traffic and
I was like, I'm going home.
Speaker 5 (05:52):
Mom's going home.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
Yeah. I was gonna ask if you did a date
night or something.
Speaker 4 (05:58):
No, we had something to get done that night. I
can't remember exactly what it was, but we had something
to do. So I was like, I'll just get a jumpstart.
Speaker 6 (06:06):
So the streak is intact, the streak of not getting
together with guests who invite you guys to get together
still been broken. That's not been broken.
Speaker 2 (06:14):
Great, and it's kind of like, what a beautiful way
to end twenty twenty four as opposed to breaking it
right before the new year.
Speaker 5 (06:22):
I'm done with that. Yeah, so the new year, I'm
done with it.
Speaker 4 (06:26):
In the new year, I'm breathing new life into this
and we are asking every guest, with everyone, every single guest,
to get drinks with us, right, and we'll see who's
the first to follow through and not just to make
the plans, to actually do the plans. Yeah, I mean
j Yeah, jail h got to she got to M
(06:49):
in alphabet, but she did not get to Z.
Speaker 8 (06:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (06:52):
No, but she might be the first.
Speaker 4 (06:54):
In twenty five Sho might hit us up and say.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
Hey, girls, have a new year's schedule. Yeah, I'm feeling better.
You got your marriage license.
Speaker 4 (07:03):
Yeah, I'm feeling a little queasy right now.
Speaker 6 (07:05):
I'm not going I know marriage lescense will do that.
Speaker 7 (07:08):
Yeah, no, no, no, have you.
Speaker 5 (07:11):
You know everybody's getting sick right now.
Speaker 6 (07:14):
I know if one celebrity who got sick but yes,
there's a lot going around.
Speaker 4 (07:18):
Yes, you don't feel like people in your world are
all like dropping.
Speaker 6 (07:22):
Like are getting sick.
Speaker 4 (07:23):
Yeah, yeah, I feel like it's like that time of
year anyways. So I'm like loading up on all the
vitamins and I just took too, like like the liquid
liquid ones, like slurped them down in a row, And
I'm feeling a little like.
Speaker 2 (07:35):
I don't think you're supposed to do that to in
a row. I just don't think you're supposed to do
it on like an empty stomach.
Speaker 4 (07:42):
It was a while ago. Yeah, eight am, it's nude.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
Yeah, did you work out?
Speaker 3 (07:47):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (07:48):
So you haven't had anything to do. You had breakfast
and you just took a load of vitamins. Yeah. I
can't imagine you're feeling great. Do y'all have? Is there?
Speaker 5 (07:55):
Just sign?
Speaker 4 (07:56):
Can just give me a minute to this down? I'm good.
We canno.
Speaker 2 (08:05):
He's not just a sip of water.
Speaker 5 (08:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
So you went and got your marriage license?
Speaker 4 (08:10):
I went go are Yeah, how did it feel? I
got really emotional about it. Every little thing we do
like makes me want to cry. It's like so weird.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
What does Robbie do?
Speaker 5 (08:24):
He doesn't cry? No, he gets excited, but he doesn't cry.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
No, but like when you start crying, is he just
like oh cry, like I.
Speaker 4 (08:33):
Got teary eyes.
Speaker 2 (08:34):
Oh okay.
Speaker 4 (08:34):
And I was like, I don't know why I'm so
emotional like that we just got this, and he's like
cause it's really exciting and like you're an emotional person
and like you know you're not going to cry, So
I guess I won't cry either.
Speaker 2 (08:45):
It's probably because of the decor in the Beverly Hills
court House.
Speaker 5 (08:48):
Yeah, but you know they make you raise your right hand.
Speaker 4 (08:51):
They like make you raise your right hand and say
like is everything on these papers? Whatever? Whatever? And I
was like, oh, this feels like so official.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
Yeah, like yeah, girl, you're locking it in. Yeah, you're
both locking it in. Yeah, exciting.
Speaker 4 (09:03):
It is very exciting. Well, but the courthouses are full,
let me tell you. The woman at the front was
like asking us if we were going to do a
ceremony at the courthouse and we were like probably, but
not till like next year, and she was like few, Yeah.
She was like everyone's trying to get in and I
was like that's so weird, Like what a random time
of year to like get.
Speaker 7 (09:24):
Your before the end of the year. You're trying to
lock something down, so.
Speaker 4 (09:28):
She said, tax breaks and then people are scared that
their marriage rights are going to get taken away next Yeah,
trying to get it in very Yeah.
Speaker 6 (09:38):
I was like, dang, well, you don't hear people say
few very often, you know, but that's the extra phone one,
an actual few few.
Speaker 5 (09:44):
Yeah, I think she said fewew whew.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
You don't get that reaction often these days.
Speaker 4 (09:51):
Uh so, yeah, one step closer. We're in the We're
in the We're in the window because you get it
and then you have to get married within ninety days.
Speaker 9 (09:58):
Wow, clock is tickn that's before March, right before after
I don't know, March twenty or yeah, yeah, okay, ninety days.
Speaker 4 (10:10):
Yeah, that's right.
Speaker 7 (10:12):
I'm sure. I'm sure she's done this.
Speaker 6 (10:13):
Man, March eighteenth, ninety days from now.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
Yeah. Correct, But you're gonna get the wedding right yeah, oh.
Speaker 4 (10:21):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, we're gonna lock it in
before yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:24):
Yeah, that's yore.
Speaker 3 (10:28):
Well.
Speaker 4 (10:28):
I was like, I just want to get as much
done before the new year than I possibly can. So
that was one more check off the off the lit.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
My Cammeridge charged and ready to photograph the event, thank
you so much.
Speaker 4 (10:40):
I went into the courthouse and it's like bright yellow
walls that says like love is love and.
Speaker 5 (10:50):
They're bright yellow. But I went into like inspect it.
Speaker 4 (10:52):
There's like a little corner that's like white and it
has like a very avant guard kind of photo. Well,
maybe we can do it in that corner.
Speaker 2 (10:59):
All took all her photos outside when it was they're beautiful.
Speaker 5 (11:03):
Shouldn't do any in the room in the chapel.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
No, I don't think they. I mean maybe I didn't
see those. She didn't post those. The room is really heinous.
And she sent me a picture and it was like
love is Love and I was like, but I do
appreciate the ally ship.
Speaker 4 (11:17):
Yeah, yes, big bold bright riders.
Speaker 2 (11:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (11:23):
Well it's exciting, very exciting. How was the Sonic premiere?
Speaker 2 (11:29):
To talk about that one?
Speaker 7 (11:31):
That was the coolest thing I have ever gotten to
do in my life.
Speaker 6 (11:34):
Wow.
Speaker 10 (11:36):
Becca Beca's like come with me as the Sonic premiere
and because like you can go watch the movie. And
I thought it was gonna be like Alison and I
like jogging place to the side of well, Becca does
her like famous person thing and then like we go
inside to watch the movie, but we got to walk
the blue carpet. We got to getty image out of it.
They held up a whiteboard of my name and they
(11:58):
took pictures of us. The two photographers took pity and
took pictures of us. We got to like have Sonic
chili dogs. We got to do the whole I got
to meet Sonic in the theater, just outside of the
Chinese theater. That was the coolest thing in the world.
We had so much fun and the movie is amazing.
Speaker 7 (12:16):
It's so good. I love Sonic. Yeah, it was unreal.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
It was I truly had no idea how huge of
a premiere. It was like it was like Hollywood.
Speaker 5 (12:28):
Chinese theater is like legit.
Speaker 2 (12:30):
They always do the big ones, but it was it
was like one of the bigger premieres. I feel like
I've gone to and like Jim Carrey there, I'm sorry, Like.
Speaker 4 (12:38):
That franchise is like massive.
Speaker 2 (12:40):
Yeah, I mean yeah, it was huge, and they put
us in like the there was like a space where
like a bunch of the like influencers and content creators went.
So they were had like the Alison got one of
the ring.
Speaker 7 (12:51):
Yeah, they're getting these giant rings.
Speaker 2 (12:53):
What did they do?
Speaker 7 (12:54):
It was just a ring, just a ring.
Speaker 10 (12:56):
They're just there were people had them. I don't know
where they got them. And then Allison was like, to
get that ring, and then I gave her a ring.
It was awesome.
Speaker 2 (13:03):
They were hard to get. People are like searching everywhere else.
Speaker 4 (13:05):
I was like, how did you get that?
Speaker 2 (13:07):
Else?
Speaker 4 (13:07):
You know what those do?
Speaker 3 (13:10):
Yes?
Speaker 7 (13:11):
They create portals.
Speaker 2 (13:12):
Yes, yes, as one knows from the Sonic franchise.
Speaker 4 (13:16):
Yes, exactly. But we're seeing it tonight, so no spoilers.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
They did announce so that Sonic four is in the works.
Speaker 5 (13:23):
They did so.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
My friend Avanti, who works at Paramount, sent it to
me and Tanya and was like, Tanya, here's your chance
to shine, your time to shine.
Speaker 5 (13:33):
I said, put me in coach.
Speaker 4 (13:35):
But I feel like if they already have a date
for it twenty twenty seven, I feel as though they've
probably already cast the crew.
Speaker 6 (13:42):
That's a long time from now, twenty twenty seven.
Speaker 4 (13:44):
I know, but knowing like like just Sophia's movie, what
takes a long time.
Speaker 5 (13:50):
Yeah, that's the thing.
Speaker 4 (13:51):
I don't know animation, but I feel like she makes
movies so far ahead.
Speaker 6 (13:55):
Yeah that I feel I don't think you should be discouraged.
You you have that state, right.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
I don't like that that we're not going in with
that attitude. But also it's like they probably are like,
this franchise is huge, so let's continue it. And they
already know they're gonna have a Sonic for but maybe
they haven't even written the scripture.
Speaker 6 (14:11):
Right, bringing a new Sonic Hedgehog and there you are.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
Yeah, yeah, maybe pitch maybe like a graphic designer to
draw up a little character, color her outfit and stuff.
Uh huh, and then get your voice audition ready. Yeah,
we can just send them.
Speaker 4 (14:28):
Yeah the a clip, no problem, air check, I got you.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (14:35):
No.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
It was really fun. It was cool to I felt.
I was like, wow, I feel so cool that I
got to bring them to something like that. I thought
it was gonna be more like a screening that type.
Was like, well, this is so epic.
Speaker 1 (14:47):
It was.
Speaker 10 (14:47):
It was so yeah, it was just I can't stop
thinking about it. It was like so fun and again,
the movie's so good. There's a Beach Boys song in
the movie. I stood up and cheered. Seeing a movie
with like all the there's a bunch of Sonic fans
in there too. It was so fun because like anytime
some Sonic thing happened, everyone included like lost their minds.
Speaker 5 (15:05):
I sent Savvy the video of you with trying to.
Speaker 2 (15:08):
Show them the TikTok.
Speaker 4 (15:09):
Yeah, he was like, that's so cool.
Speaker 6 (15:12):
Yeah, I know.
Speaker 2 (15:14):
It was kind of one of those where they would have.
Speaker 5 (15:17):
Really thrived, I know, but he had to play that night.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
So Sonic four though, yes, which one which will be
featuring you? It'll be even more special. Could have a
new baby in the picture too, Oh my god, like
a one year older.
Speaker 5 (15:33):
You don't take babies to the movies though, No, but you.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
Could take them to like the event of it, and
then Robbie could take the kids, you know, the older kids.
Speaker 4 (15:40):
When do you start taking kids to movies?
Speaker 2 (15:42):
There were kids there. There was a lot of kids
like how.
Speaker 5 (15:44):
Old, though not babies.
Speaker 2 (15:45):
I know.
Speaker 6 (15:45):
We took Alie to Her first movie was she was
three three, I feel like, but it was like a
nature documentary. It was nothing too well louder. It was
Earth Disney's Earth.
Speaker 7 (15:55):
I was two and my first movie was Young Guns
sorry Philip.
Speaker 6 (16:01):
Guns movie.
Speaker 4 (16:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (16:04):
I was thinking four.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
Yeah, I feel like that's a good age. We'll cross
that bridge once we arrive. Yes, but we do have
a Dear Bonnie episode today, so we are going to
get back. There's some there's some hard hitting emails and
problems that they need us to solve, you guys, So
lock in and we'll be back. All right. We are
(16:44):
back and with our final deer Bonia of the year.
Speaker 4 (16:48):
Wow, I'm getting like really sad. Like everybody's like, I
went to my last sculpt class of the year that
down for the year. Oh my gosh.
Speaker 5 (16:59):
She's like, this is the LAS class. Make it a
good one.
Speaker 2 (17:01):
I was like, what, Oh, I'm happy to hear that
they're taking time off for themselves though.
Speaker 4 (17:08):
Yeah the last one listen.
Speaker 5 (17:10):
So sculpted out for there.
Speaker 6 (17:14):
By the way, I don't want to have a goal
for twenty twenty five. I don't want to write a
need checks. That's what I've decided. I'm not going to
write a single check in twenty twenty four.
Speaker 7 (17:20):
Yeah, checks twenty four in the check.
Speaker 6 (17:23):
So what do you do when you get a bill
from the dentist office. I got a bill from the
dentist office two days ago. I'm like, well, crap, that's
the place to put or I call them and I
get credit.
Speaker 2 (17:33):
Cards, upgrade your dent to get your dentists.
Speaker 6 (17:35):
But I don't write checks anymore.
Speaker 5 (17:36):
Yeah, that that dentist needs it.
Speaker 2 (17:39):
That feels like a very doable I hope it.
Speaker 6 (17:42):
But doctor's offices need to get with it.
Speaker 5 (17:45):
I haven't written a check for a doctor's office in How.
Speaker 6 (17:48):
Are you paying your doctor's bills?
Speaker 5 (17:50):
I really call them and I give them my bill,
my bill.
Speaker 6 (17:53):
I'm not sitting on hold either. Have to figure something.
Speaker 5 (17:56):
Maybe two minutes of.
Speaker 6 (17:57):
Hold, I am.
Speaker 2 (17:58):
I never call a single person. I never write a
single check. It's all online.
Speaker 5 (18:02):
Everything feels advanced.
Speaker 6 (18:05):
I need to go to your doctors.
Speaker 5 (18:06):
Yeah, here we go.
Speaker 6 (18:08):
F'm anonymous obsessed with the podcast Your Dynamic, and that
you released two episodes a week. I'm a news scrubber
from September of twenty four, while that's just a few
months ago.
Speaker 7 (18:17):
Welcome.
Speaker 6 (18:17):
I'm currently alternating between the newly released episodes and the
catalog of episodes past. I'm in my mid thirties and
I realized I had a strong connection with women. When
I was twenty nine. I met someone with whom I
had an undeniable connection, and initially things went well, but
I struggled with internalized homophobia, which conflicted with my beliefs
about being true to yourself and loving freely. I came
(18:38):
out to my family and some friends, and though it
wasn't terrible, it was uncomfortable. I eventually retreated from the relationship,
partly blaming my partner for the pressure to come out
and push that part of myself aside, finding it easier
to date men, but I felt guilty, angry, and disconnected
from who I was. Listening to this podcast, recommended by
a friend, helped me reflect on my fears and inspired
(18:58):
me to embrace who I am. Hearing stories, particularly Becka's
journey to openly and proudly loving, made me realize how
much I was missing by hiding a vital part of myself.
I have since recome out with greater confidence and gotten
overwhelmingly positive responses, started exploring a new relationship with a woman,
and I feel happier and more at peace than I
have in years. Now, I'm at a crossroads. I haven't
(19:20):
come out to some long distance friends, not because I
don't trust them, but because of my own fears and insecurities.
I'm not sure how to broach the subject without making
them feel like I didn't trust them or value our friendship.
I've had chances to share this part of myself, but
I've avoided it out of fear, often making excuses about
being busy or mentioning days with men to avoid the topic.
I'd appreciate advice on how to start this conversation in
a way that honors our friendship and builds understanding. Thank
(19:42):
you all for sharing your stories and for all the
laugh out loud moments and wishing you all happy holidays.
Speaker 8 (19:49):
You know.
Speaker 2 (19:51):
I'm trying. This was so long ago for me, like
navigating when I first started dating Haley, and like coming
out to my friends, like having those conversations feel so foreign,
but I just remember, I'm all being positive, so I
don't have I also.
Speaker 4 (20:06):
Feel like you didn't like call up any long distance
friends and said like, hey, by the way, I'm dating
a girl, Like I don't know if that's totally necessary.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
Well, I think if it's someone that she's in like,
if it's a friend that she's talking to all the time,
you know, like if it's.
Speaker 5 (20:19):
What what does one consider a long distance friend?
Speaker 2 (20:23):
Like JoJo's a long distance friend, ah okay, a friend
who lives a long distances In my mind, I'm thinking
like old friends from high school that live in your hometown.
Speaker 5 (20:35):
And then now you've moved away, blah blah blah.
Speaker 2 (20:37):
It sounds like these are still people in her life,
they're just not part of her everyday life. So they
want to know, like that she's spending time with a woman,
got it. I think you just text them and be like,
I'm dating someone new and if they ask questions and
then you just are like, well she is, she's blah
blah blah. The thing is, because you're feeling insecure and
(20:58):
nervous about it, it's gonna come across. Everything is about
how you deliver information, right, So, like, if you're feeling
really excited about this person and you say it with
enthusiasm and you're not really focusing on the fact about
her gender, and you're more just like, she's amazing. This
is how we met. I think your friends are going
to be more receptive and see that you're happy and
(21:19):
confident in it, and I think that's going to make
them respond in a way that makes you feel seen
and encouraged by them. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (21:28):
I think we put so much pressure on ourselves and
I can't speak to the specific conversation of like coming
out to friends. But I feel like a lot of
people have insecurities when they're dating, and like, let's say,
you know, some people that have kids feel insecure about
the fact that they have kids when they're dating. And
it's all about how you say it, you know, like
if you say I have kids, that's like a negative connotation.
(21:50):
But if you're like, oh, my gosh, you have the
cutest little dimples. My son has dimples like that, you know,
like you're telling them without making it like a thing.
So I feel like taking that approach of just like
I think some times we bog ourselves down with having
to have like the perfect words, the perfect time, and
the perfect thing to say and have it be this
whole thing when in reality, like you're dating someone and
you're happy, Yeah, that's really all it is.
Speaker 2 (22:11):
Yeah. I was thinking though, aside you not even having
kid like more so from the perspective of you dating
someone with kids, it's kind of that same thing of
like if you were like, eh, he has kids, but
instead you're like, oh, yeah, have my fiance or his
son or you know, my step kids. There's a lot
of excitement and confidence when you talk about it, so
it never I don't think ever felt like a thing
(22:33):
because it was something about it his life that you
were excited about. Right, So I think that is the
advice that I'd give, And I'm proud of you for
not pushing your true self and feelings to the side anymore,
because we do only have one life to live, and
I think it's I think it's so important to you know,
(22:55):
live your truth and also the people that that are
going to be in your life are going to respond
in a way where they're excited for you and see
you know your happiness.
Speaker 6 (23:07):
Agreed to Tiny's point, though, I do think there is
something to live in your life and people can figure
it out on their own. Isn't there something to just
kind of just live your life?
Speaker 2 (23:15):
If I was like, oh my gosh, somewhere else get
like people that I haven't talked to in forever, but
like if like uh Tanya ali Jojo, like those are
all people that I was like excited to, like those
are people that are very much a part of my life.
So it was like I can't not like I can't
just expect them to figure it out. And then they
(23:37):
were like, wait, you're hanging out with a girl. Why
why didn't you tell us? You know, I think there's
something about being confident enough and happy enough to be
excited to share that information with people that you love
and that love you.
Speaker 5 (23:49):
Yeah. I also just I kind of agree with Mark.
It's like, live your life.
Speaker 2 (23:53):
You mean to tell me? If I was just living
my life and hanging out with Haley privately and didn't
tell you that, I would just be like figured it.
Speaker 4 (23:59):
Out, figuring it out for yourself, and you were like
unsure and like scared or whatever. Like I wouldn't be
offended if it took you longer than it took you
to tell me.
Speaker 6 (24:08):
But also, you guys are besties. She's talking about.
Speaker 4 (24:10):
Long distance friends. It doesn't even say besties. It says
long distance.
Speaker 6 (24:14):
Friends already came out to family and friends. I feel
like this is a.
Speaker 4 (24:18):
This is like you feeling the need to like call like.
Speaker 7 (24:26):
That's pure buffering face the doctor.
Speaker 4 (24:29):
That you worked for in San Diego to be like
what I'm dating Haley Kyoko.
Speaker 2 (24:34):
Now this feels different than that. We don't know. All
I'm saying is if this is, if this is someone
like Jojo in your life, that I think it's worth
it to pick up the phone and have the conversation.
Is someone like that used to San Diego. You don't
owe anyone anything if you're not ready correct.
Speaker 6 (24:54):
I hope it is Jojo all right? Uh, I know
the akings are all in, so I don't need to
say that anymore. My boyfriend I just broke up, but
we still have so much love for each other. He
said he needed to grow an areas because he wasn't
the man he knew I deserved. He also said he
wasn't happy with himself and with his life and with
his work. It's really hard because there's still so much
(25:14):
love there. But I do believe he stopped pursuing me
a year ago. During the relationship. I feel like I
lost some of my feminine energy. And I'm curious what
Tanya did in her time post breakup from Robbie to
gain back her confidence, her feminine injury energy and work
on herself. Love you guys, the trigger.
Speaker 4 (25:30):
Event, the trigger event. I worked out a lot. I
like channeled my energy into running and I would run
like nine miles.
Speaker 2 (25:40):
You were crazy runner.
Speaker 4 (25:41):
Then it was the only time that I could just
like not think about anything.
Speaker 6 (25:46):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 4 (25:46):
I know that sounds so cringe, like even like even
saying it. It's like just you in the in the road,
in the random just people walking around the neighborhood exactly.
So I found a lot of like peace in that. Also,
(26:08):
your feminine energy, like when you're in your ovulatory phase
masturbating is like amazing.
Speaker 5 (26:14):
Are you allowed to say that?
Speaker 4 (26:15):
On here?
Speaker 6 (26:15):
Sure have fun?
Speaker 5 (26:16):
Okay?
Speaker 4 (26:17):
That I feel like makes you feel I don't know,
like you. It feels you feel glowy. Is that what
you're asking she's asking about feminine energy? Yeah, it makes
me glowy and like I can do it. I can
do this for myself. I don't need anybody else. I
got me myself and I So that would be my advice.
Speaker 2 (26:36):
I also feel like even just getting yourself up and
ready to go places, because you probably don't feel like
going and doing anything but getting dinner with a friend
and like really dressing up and making yourself feel your best.
Speaker 5 (26:48):
Oh yeah, I don't think like I was going on
a first date any outing.
Speaker 2 (26:51):
Ye I had Yes, even if she stayed home. Yes,
she was dressed for her first date.
Speaker 4 (26:56):
I was dressed for first date. Taking pics, yeah, posting
them up.
Speaker 2 (27:00):
Yeah, I would say do things that make you like
before you lost that, like what did you do that
where you felt confident in yourself? Like what were you
doing where you felt your best version, whether it was
like going on walks whatever it looked like.
Speaker 4 (27:12):
Yeah, And I also like did a lot of It's
probably not the best way to handle things, like in hindsight,
but I would just like load up my schedule. I
would just like do all the things that I wanted.
I would organize my like Monica Geller closet, I would
you know what I mean, like gives give away like
stuff that I wasn't wearing to the shelter, all that
kind of stuff that like you put on the back burner,
and then you feel so good, you feel like accomplished.
(27:34):
And that also gives you back like a lot of
confidence because you're like, yeah, like I can freaking do
anything anything anything.
Speaker 2 (27:40):
Good luck. Though I'm also glad that he acknowledged that
he wasn't able to be the person that would be
a good I get it.
Speaker 11 (27:48):
It feels like a cop out, Like every guy feels
like that's fine rather him ended then stay in a
relationship where he's not giving where he she feels like
he stopped pursuing her a year ago, so I'm like, she,
it sounds like maybe she wouldn't have ended it.
Speaker 2 (28:03):
So I feel glad that he was, like, I'm doing
it for you, for us, because now she can tap it.
Speaker 4 (28:09):
It's like nobody's ever where they want to be when
they're at that, you know what I mean? Like, I
feel like, in correct me if I'm wrong. I feel
like a lot of men when they're ready to propose,
feel like they want to be wanted to be further along.
Speaker 6 (28:20):
That was a major part of my my proposal speech
was how we are not where we want to be
in life at this point, but I don't care.
Speaker 5 (28:28):
Right, A lot of people feel that way. It's kind
of like they just warn each other's people.
Speaker 2 (28:34):
But she he may have been feeling that was like,
I'm not able to be the person you want, but
it'll probably be able to be that person for someone else.
But I'm saying he did her favor because she's about
to tap into her best self and meet her Robbie.
Speaker 5 (28:49):
That's right.
Speaker 6 (28:50):
So in summary, exercise, organization, and lots of quality time
with yourself.
Speaker 3 (28:55):
Correct?
Speaker 5 (28:57):
Should I say it like that quality time not the
actual word?
Speaker 7 (28:59):
I could say you want to say you can say
the word, you just can't do it.
Speaker 6 (29:02):
That's the beauty of Kanya. No filter.
Speaker 5 (29:04):
No, I'm saying filter in podcast world? Are we allowed
to say that? On the Share.
Speaker 6 (29:09):
The Rules podcasts?
Speaker 3 (29:10):
Whew?
Speaker 6 (29:11):
I'm jumping ahead one just so you're following along. Hi, Beca,
Mark Easton and Tanya Oh. I got second billing on
that one. That is rare.
Speaker 4 (29:18):
Wow.
Speaker 6 (29:19):
First off, I want to say how much I love
and appreciate all of you your podcast. It's been a
constant source of comfort and joy for me over the
past seven years, helping me through some of the hardest
times in my life. When I was first coming out
to my parents, I posted in the scrubbing and Facebook
groups sharing that I was about to do it. In
an hour, I was flooded with supportive comments, including one
from Becca. My parents still haven't come around, and I'm
(29:40):
not sure they ever will, but I screenshoted those comments
and revisit them often on tough days. They remind me
I'm not alone, and I'm so grateful for that. After
recent events, my girlfriend and I have decided to lope
so we can legally marry while it's still possible. We
are in Texas. We still plan to go through our
originally planned proposals next year and have a bigger wedding
down the road. How I want to make this elopement
(30:01):
feel special for my girlfriend, even though it's not how
we envisioned our timeline, and we'll be keeping it a
secret for most of the people we know. For now,
to celebrate, we're having dinner with our closest friends who've
always supported us. But I'd love your advice. How can
I make this elopement feel meaningful and magical for my
partner even in the midst of these stressful and uncertain times.
We've been together five years. Our journey feels so similar
(30:21):
to Becca's and Haley's. We've always looked up to you too,
and would truly appreciate any advice for making this moment
as special as it deserves to be. Thank you so
much for everything you do. Love you, guys, and happy holidays.
Speaker 8 (30:33):
You know.
Speaker 2 (30:34):
First of all, I just feel so proud for you
because it is so hard to navigate unsupportive family and
friends like I. There were I think a lot of people,
because I didn't talk about my relationship for so long,
think that it was all just like perfect and there
was no hiccups and everyone just showered us and support
(30:56):
and love. But that wasn't really the case, and there
there's been a lot of progress since then, but it
was definitely not perfect, and like in those four years
of keeping our relationship private, there was a lot of
like heartache and therapy. But so first of all, I'm
very proud of you for, you know, for getting through that,
(31:17):
because it's really really hard, and I am so sorry
that you're having to think about I'm so sorry that
you're having to rush something that's so personal and exciting
because of the fear and what could happen in our
country and in you know, different states. Sorry, I just
(31:46):
I haven't talked about this, and this is like the
reality for people.
Speaker 8 (31:52):
It's like they might not be able to you know,
love who they love or commit And I think it's
like such a reality because in reality, Haley and I
don't have anything to worry about in California, Like we're
in a state where like that's probably gonna be safe
for the most part.
Speaker 3 (32:12):
But there's people like this who are having to rush.
You know, you're getting to have your dream wedding and
not have to think about that at all, and not
everyone's gonna have that luxury in some places, and it's
so meaningful and special, and I hate that you're even
having to think about that. So I would say, you know,
(32:39):
think about the people that you want to be there,
because that is the truest celebration you want to when
you want it to feel full of love and people
who surround you with love and make it feel light and.
Speaker 2 (32:56):
Magical, just sucks. Sorry. I don't want to make this
like sad thing because I'm also happy for them that
they're getting married. I think it's just like you know,
you hear these stories and they're just like sad personal
(33:21):
But anyways, I think you have like beautiful flowers or
find things that she loves, like I know Haley loves
nature and art and color and so I would you know,
and she loves good food, like that's one of her
like passions is food. So making sure that all of
(33:41):
your favorite people and your favorite things are there, and
just making sure that that day feels only full of
love and excitement and not daunted by the reality of
you know, the outside of it.
Speaker 6 (33:58):
Idea throwing it out there and if this is crazy,
you can tell me. But it seems like one thing
that always makes a moment magical is live music. Could
you have a guitar player they're playing her favorite song?
Speaker 4 (34:07):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (34:08):
I feel that would be cool.
Speaker 4 (34:09):
I feel like you get to do I think like
when you do and it might be different in Texas,
but I feel like you have that fifteen minute window
to do whatever you want. So like, maybe you do
make it up and do it as big as you
possibly can and write your vows and document it and
have somebody live perform her favorite song and have somebody
(34:34):
I don't really know how it works with the efficient,
but somebody meaningful in your life there to do it,
and like, do it up as much as you can,
and don't make it like an elopement that's just an elopement.
Speaker 2 (34:45):
Make it make it matter, yeah, make it feel like
yours and like what you know, it's almost like what
you would do without the circumstance, but on a smaller scale,
and just you know, make sure that it makes sure
it's special for you too. I love the idea of
having someone playing music and having like a few of
(35:06):
your favorite songs played so y'all can dance and or like.
Speaker 4 (35:12):
This might be crazy, but if you could take some
of like the letters that she's written you and make
like some sort of a handkerchief out of it, or
like like I don't know, like, yeah, I'm thinking on
the spot here, but like take maybe some letters or
maybe xerox them, not like the actual letters, and make
like some sort of bouquet out of them, you know
(35:34):
what I mean, like oregonmy flowers, like letters that she's
written you, or like post its or whatever, like something
meaningful like that could be really sweet too.
Speaker 2 (35:42):
Yeah, but I think it's gonna beautiful. And I think
that having the people who love you and support you
being there is what's gonna make it so special. So
I'm so happy for you. Sorry for that breakdown, but.
Speaker 4 (35:56):
We love you, and yeah, we love We're so happy
for you.
Speaker 6 (36:01):
Let's break Yeah, we have a couple of fun ones
coming up that aren't so having an advicey and there
are more just kind of fun comments, so we'll come
back with that.
Speaker 4 (36:25):
Hi.
Speaker 1 (36:26):
I'm Kristin Davis, and I want to know are you
a Charlotte? In nineteen ninety seven, my life was forever
changed when I took on the role of Charlotte York
on a new HBO show called Sex and the City
as we watched Carrie, Samantha, Miranda, and Charlotte navigate relationships
in New York City. The show helped push once unacceptable
(36:46):
conversation topics out of the shadows and altered the narrative
around women and sex. We all saw ourselves in them
as they searched for fulfillment in life, sex and friendships.
Now I want to connect with you and share untoldies
and all the behind the scenes together with special guests.
What will begin with Sex and the City will evolve
(37:06):
into talks about themes.
Speaker 4 (37:08):
That are still so relevant today.
Speaker 1 (37:10):
Are You a Charlotte is a much more than just
rewatching our beloved show. It brings the past and the
present together as we talk with heart, humor, and of.
Speaker 4 (37:21):
Course some optimism.
Speaker 1 (37:23):
Listen to Are You a Charlotte on the iHeartRadio app,
Apple Podcast or wherever you get your podcasts.
Speaker 2 (37:36):
All right, we're back. This is just like the most
shocking title I've ever seen for an email, So let's
get right into it.
Speaker 6 (37:43):
Rude the headline is which our producer Sam adds to these.
Tanya's opening line worked for me Hi Becka, Tanya Mark,
and Easton O G Scrubber here. I've listened since the beginning,
and one of the reasons why I love the podcast
so much was because I too was an early thirties
girly trying to find her forever guy. I found comfort
(38:04):
and laughter in Becca and Tanya's dating stories, as I
knew all too well what they were experiencing. Tanya and
I even had a similar experience in twenty nineteen. We
were both hosting guys we had been dating through FaceTime Doctor,
screen Time Wolf in our cities and meeting for the
first time. I even talked to Ryan on the Morning
Show about it. In my late thirties, I struggled with
the possibility that might just be God's plan for me
(38:26):
not to be married or have a family, And after
every cry wondering why something didn't work out, I'd always say,
God doesn't take away gold to give you silver, or
man's rejection is God's protection. Thank you, Tanya. Fast forward
to twenty twenty two, I felt it in my heart
to download the apps again. I meshed with a cute
guy my age that I'd never seen on there before
and sent him a message. It was Tanya's go to
(38:47):
message from Harriot Days. I said Happy Tuesday. Thankfully, he
thought it was cute and responded. We hit it off
and met for dinner a few weeks later. Two months
after that midweek greeting, he asked me to be as girlfriend,
and two years later to the date, he asked me
to be his wife. Thanks to the whole team for
being a constant joy in my life of the encouragement
and positivity you bring through this podcast, including the reassurance
(39:10):
I got from you all and Scrubbers that there are
good guys out there. I love you all.
Speaker 5 (39:15):
Let this be a lesson to everybody out there.
Speaker 2 (39:19):
One man's trash is another man's treasury.
Speaker 4 (39:21):
Exactly, and honestly, if that doesn't work, the happy whatever
date it is, which is clearly a shoot three pointer
flam dunk. Yes, I also suggest the are you friends
with Robert Graham?
Speaker 6 (39:36):
Line?
Speaker 4 (39:37):
Oh, that's a good one, because that really works. That's
more of an in real life, in person one. So
this is good for the dating apps Happy Tuesday, But
that are you friends with Robert Graham is a big perfect.
Speaker 2 (39:50):
Should it be not Robert Graham, but like another person
that they actually know, so then there's some connection there.
Speaker 4 (39:56):
Sure, Roberts She's saying like, like, use somebody that's actually
in your life, like, oh, are you friends with Like
let's say her friend. Her friend is like.
Speaker 6 (40:06):
Bob, Bob Brewer, Bob Brewer, Oh yeah.
Speaker 4 (40:09):
You know, are you friends with Bob Brewer?
Speaker 5 (40:13):
I like Robert Graham.
Speaker 4 (40:14):
Because it feels so generic, I know, but we know
Robert Graham.
Speaker 2 (40:17):
So there's something to lead back to, all right.
Speaker 5 (40:19):
And then they would ask me questions and what does
he do?
Speaker 4 (40:21):
Where does he live? And I'm like, oh, yeah, yeah,
to do right right right? Yeah, yeah, then you go
deeper into the lies. So maybe that's a good suggestion.
I think it's great.
Speaker 6 (40:29):
Yeah, congratulations Emily, We're very pard for listening, and yeah,
great news. Lauren found a godwink in an old podcast. Hi, Becka, Tanya,
Mark and Easton. I'm listening back to Scrubbing In from
the beginning. That's quite a binge and came across the
biggest godwink of all for Tanya. You met Mark l.
Wahlberg and Hawaiian twenty nineteen. He talked to Tiny about
(40:51):
adapting the I quit mentality, quitting looking and searching for
your person, letting him come to you and happen the
way it should. Instead, the next day she met Doctor
screen Time that I want to the window. Tanya says
she ran into Mark on the street when Doctor screen
Time came to town, and she took it as a
godwink that she should still be quitting and should quit
Doctor screen Time. A few months later, he came back
in the podcast Putting All Your Eggs in One Basket
(41:13):
October fourteenth, twenty nineteen.
Speaker 5 (41:14):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 6 (41:16):
Tanya updates him, says he didn't listen. Says she didn't
listen to the I Quit advice and they laugh about
him seeing her with Doctor screen Time. He then goes
on to say he was just like Tanya, searching for
his person, wondering when she was going to come into
his life. He then said the moment he quit, he.
Speaker 7 (41:29):
Met his wife, Robbie.
Speaker 6 (41:33):
Mark Wahlberg's wife is named Robbie, which when I read this,
I went and did the research, and it's true.
Speaker 2 (41:38):
We were obsessed with her. Remember awesome.
Speaker 4 (41:41):
Mark Wahlberg has been this weird pinnacle in my life,
like himself, so weird to say out loud, but like
that really was like a turning point.
Speaker 5 (41:50):
What he said to me in Hawaii, and then I did.
Speaker 4 (41:53):
I remember I met Doctor screen time the day after,
and then I ran into Mark Wahlberg with this man,
what are the odds?
Speaker 2 (42:01):
But then there was sing Your Butterfly right before.
Speaker 6 (42:05):
Robbie she mentioned him as well. Tinya met Robbie right
after this. Strangely, Mark Wahlberg and Tiny seemed like kindred spirits.
And it's the biggest godwink of all that she got
her very own Robbie right after this, and she quit
Senior Butterfly and adopted the mentality in her own way.
I thought I was so cute. I knew Tiny would
appreciate the connection.
Speaker 5 (42:22):
So crazy, How did I never connect those dots?
Speaker 4 (42:25):
I remember I saw her getting her nails done on Ventura,
like not recently, but in that like Parah, She's so cute.
How did you never think about that?
Speaker 2 (42:34):
I don't know, because we were like obsessed with obsessed.
Speaker 4 (42:36):
With them, even her and their daughter, Robbie Morgan.
Speaker 6 (42:40):
Wow, the wife of Mark L. Wahlberg, legendary game show
and reality show.
Speaker 5 (42:44):
Wow, Lauren, thank you for that.
Speaker 2 (42:47):
That is so fun. Wow.
Speaker 4 (42:50):
October fourteen, twenty nineteen.
Speaker 6 (42:52):
What a time, What a time? Over five years ago?
Speaker 4 (42:55):
Yeah, because I met Robbie November, first of where we met, Yeah,
twenty nineteen. Wow, that's crazy. Two weeks after this.
Speaker 2 (43:06):
I'm trying to think of the timeline because oh, September.
Speaker 4 (43:10):
Was send You're a butterfly. Yes, yeah, the butterfly was
before doctor screen time.
Speaker 2 (43:16):
Doctor screen time came after. Yes. Oh okay, all right,
I need to go back into our chats and see
what we back in the day. Good times. Wow.
Speaker 10 (43:27):
When she spells it robb I yeah, also a weird
way of spelling it, just like yours.
Speaker 5 (43:31):
Yes, yes, everybody thinks his name is.
Speaker 6 (43:33):
Roby non traditional.
Speaker 4 (43:35):
Yes, yeah, love it.
Speaker 2 (43:37):
Well. That is the end of a dear bonia of
the last dear bonia of twenty.
Speaker 5 (43:43):
Oh my gosh, I don't want it to be the last.
Speaker 6 (43:46):
Well, before you know it, you'll be doing the first
one of twenty twenty five and with your first sculpt.
Speaker 2 (43:50):
Class sculpt and scrubbing in that's actually cute. Yeah. Right
at the new year, when you start your once a
day movement activity, it's right.
Speaker 11 (44:00):
My community accountability activity.
Speaker 5 (44:04):
Yes, yeah, yeah, yaa.
Speaker 2 (44:07):
All right, We love y'all so much, love you, happy holidays,
all the things, and we'll see you well we have
a few episodes.
Speaker 4 (44:16):
Yeah whatever.
Speaker 6 (44:19):
Expect to hear from us on Christmas, oh.
Speaker 2 (44:21):
Yeah, yeah, and expect to hear from us on New
Year's Eve or a day before the thirtieth.
Speaker 6 (44:27):
Yeah. Yeah, So the twenty fifth and the thirtieth are coming.
Speaker 4 (44:29):
Well, that is just New Year's evadjason, Yes it is.
Speaker 2 (44:33):
We're not gone. We're just we're always around. Correct. If
you need to hear from us, there's an episode. Yeah,
there's a whole catalog of seven years. Yep, sometimes two
a days.
Speaker 5 (44:45):
I mean, I might go back and.
Speaker 4 (44:46):
Listen to October fourteenth of twenty nineteenth.
Speaker 2 (44:49):
I know it would be fun to listen to this,
some of those old ones. All right, we love y'all
so much, love you, love you bye.
Scrubbing in with Bell and Tanya rap An iHeartRadio podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Hello everybody, we are scrubbing in.
Speaker 3 (00:12):
Scrub a dub.
Speaker 4 (00:13):
A dub a dub dub dumb.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
Wow, that was effortless.
Speaker 4 (00:19):
Yeah, with Tan, I do I put a bronzer on
in the car in the parking.
Speaker 5 (00:24):
Garage, not a lot of lights.
Speaker 4 (00:26):
So yeah, my life is very glamorous, so I don't
maybe I put too much on.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
I couldn't really, So you're giving like fresh from vacation, Yeah,
with the blonde, fresh blonde in the leather jacket.
Speaker 5 (00:39):
Say it again, the fresh from the island. Yeah, island girly.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
How are we doing today?
Speaker 5 (00:46):
We're doing good. How are you doing?
Speaker 2 (00:48):
I'm great? And I know people are wanting an update
about something that we had scheduled for a lot. Are
you talking about are you talking about it? An update
about our drinks with.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
Yeah j L.
Speaker 4 (01:04):
We like to call her dale h.
Speaker 6 (01:07):
And how did it go? Do you guys have a
good time?
Speaker 2 (01:10):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (01:11):
We didn't go. Okay, it did not, in fact make
it out of the group chat. It is still in
the group chat and in the works for twenty twenty five.
Speaker 6 (01:22):
So wait what happened? Because she even said something about
like has she heard something you said on the radio,
and she said, all we have to talk about that
will get Yes, yes.
Speaker 4 (01:29):
It was a last minute, but 'tis the season and
she was not feeling well.
Speaker 6 (01:34):
A lot going around, I know.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
So, I mean it was like two hours before it
was like yeah. She was like, I hope you haven't
left yet.
Speaker 5 (01:43):
Yeah, yeah, close. It was close, Haley.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
Guys, I knew she was going to cancel.
Speaker 4 (01:53):
This was canceled not feeling well.
Speaker 5 (01:57):
Right, you think she canceled? You just didn't want to go.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
I don't think she Here's the thing. I don't think
she doesn't want to go get drinks with us.
Speaker 4 (02:06):
But I sent the morning was it the morning or
the day before something like something? She heard that I
was on a cleanse on the air, and she's like,
you can't be on a cleanse for our drinks date.
Speaker 5 (02:14):
So she was like ready to go.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
No, no, no, But you know, how the day comes.
I don't know if anyone else releases in this room.
Sometimes the day comes and I think J. L. H
is kind of like see her being a becka when
it comes to like social outings, like being very selective,
and maybe the day comes and what day comes and
you're just like, man, it's been a really busy holiday season.
(02:39):
There's a lot going on. Do I want to get
out into the world this eve and go like get
drinks and stuff.
Speaker 4 (02:48):
If that were the case, I think she'd say, hey,
I have a lot going on.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
You're right, you probably would.
Speaker 5 (02:53):
Yeah, she's not gonna make up.
Speaker 2 (02:54):
Maybe I'm projected.
Speaker 4 (02:56):
Have you ever done that? Have you ever faked being
sick to get out of something?
Speaker 2 (03:00):
Oh? Yeah, that's what karma? Why though.
Speaker 4 (03:11):
Being sick?
Speaker 2 (03:12):
No, I feel like it was a dirt. It's a
gift when people do it to me. Fortunately, I surround
myself with very like excited people who never cancel on me,
never get me the out.
Speaker 4 (03:25):
No.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
I actually really appreciated j L h hitting or stup
like that.
Speaker 4 (03:31):
I sent her the text that she sent me, and
she was relieved. Honestly, I was like, oh finished.
Speaker 6 (03:36):
Why.
Speaker 4 (03:36):
I was relieved because it was Haley's last night before
she went to New York.
Speaker 6 (03:40):
I was happy to spend Yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:42):
I wasn't relieved, just like, oh, thank god it off
to do that. I was just like, first of all,
the choice was in Santa Monica, which is a hell
for me.
Speaker 5 (03:51):
To get to at like peak traffic hours traffic.
Speaker 2 (03:54):
So I was gonna leave like an hour and a
half before.
Speaker 4 (03:57):
So I had like already gotten ready. So I had
hair appointment that was already scheduled before I drink. So
I was like, Okay, I can make this work. I'll
finish my hair appointment around the time that I would
have to like leave to get to Santa Monica. So
I like got dressed, got my cute off it on.
I was wearing a freaking body suit thong bodysuit, so
I have like a thong up my whole hair.
Speaker 6 (04:17):
Yes, I don't even know what that means. It hurts,
it hurts, It sounds awful.
Speaker 7 (04:22):
Sounds bad.
Speaker 5 (04:22):
Yeah, I have snaps too, yep, right in the badge.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
Okay, someone needs to figure this out, because there's some
really cute bodysuit options.
Speaker 4 (04:33):
However, Skims does do not quote me on that because
I don't know for sure spoiler alert, but I feel
like Skims has uh cap what do you call snapless
cross snapless crotches, magnets.
Speaker 2 (04:47):
No, it's just fabric, which is way more pleasing for
the body. Yeah, not this hat between having a seamed
thong like with seams and then snaps right in the
center of your vagina. It's it's quite a commitment.
Speaker 5 (05:06):
So I had a three hour hair appointment.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
So your girl was like, you should have like unsnapped
him and just had him tugged for the appointment.
Speaker 4 (05:16):
You know, hindsight.
Speaker 5 (05:19):
I am sorry that hindsight.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
Here's the thing when I do that, if I cancel
and like fake sick, I do it like in the morning,
if it's like a nighttime thing.
Speaker 4 (05:27):
So okay, it doesn't make it.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
But I was saying, like, I feel bad that you
are already ready, Like that kind of makes you feel sad.
It's like sad cute.
Speaker 4 (05:35):
Yeah, I was ready, Like I really, I was like.
Speaker 5 (05:40):
Really snaps. So then I was like, oh my gosh,
I have like four hours back in my day.
Speaker 4 (05:46):
What should I do now. I was gonna like come
to your house, and then I looked at traffic and
I was like, I'm going home.
Speaker 5 (05:52):
Mom's going home.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
Yeah. I was gonna ask if you did a date
night or something.
Speaker 4 (05:58):
No, we had something to get done that night. I
can't remember exactly what it was, but we had something
to do. So I was like, I'll just get a jumpstart.
Speaker 6 (06:06):
So the streak is intact, the streak of not getting
together with guests who invite you guys to get together
still been broken. That's not been broken.
Speaker 2 (06:14):
Great, and it's kind of like, what a beautiful way
to end twenty twenty four as opposed to breaking it
right before the new year.
Speaker 5 (06:22):
I'm done with that. Yeah, so the new year, I'm
done with it.
Speaker 4 (06:26):
In the new year, I'm breathing new life into this
and we are asking every guest, with everyone, every single guest,
to get drinks with us, right, and we'll see who's
the first to follow through and not just to make
the plans, to actually do the plans. Yeah, I mean
j Yeah, jail h got to she got to M
(06:49):
in alphabet, but she did not get to Z.
Speaker 8 (06:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (06:52):
No, but she might be the first.
Speaker 4 (06:54):
In twenty five Sho might hit us up and say.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
Hey, girls, have a new year's schedule. Yeah, I'm feeling better.
You got your marriage license.
Speaker 4 (07:03):
Yeah, I'm feeling a little queasy right now.
Speaker 6 (07:05):
I'm not going I know marriage lescense will do that.
Speaker 7 (07:08):
Yeah, no, no, no, have you.
Speaker 5 (07:11):
You know everybody's getting sick right now.
Speaker 6 (07:14):
I know if one celebrity who got sick but yes,
there's a lot going around.
Speaker 4 (07:18):
Yes, you don't feel like people in your world are
all like dropping.
Speaker 6 (07:22):
Like are getting sick.
Speaker 4 (07:23):
Yeah, yeah, I feel like it's like that time of
year anyways. So I'm like loading up on all the
vitamins and I just took too, like like the liquid
liquid ones, like slurped them down in a row, And
I'm feeling a little like.
Speaker 2 (07:35):
I don't think you're supposed to do that to in
a row. I just don't think you're supposed to do
it on like an empty stomach.
Speaker 4 (07:42):
It was a while ago. Yeah, eight am, it's nude.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
Yeah, did you work out?
Speaker 3 (07:47):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (07:48):
So you haven't had anything to do. You had breakfast
and you just took a load of vitamins. Yeah. I
can't imagine you're feeling great. Do y'all have? Is there?
Speaker 5 (07:55):
Just sign?
Speaker 4 (07:56):
Can just give me a minute to this down? I'm good.
We canno.
Speaker 2 (08:05):
He's not just a sip of water.
Speaker 5 (08:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
So you went and got your marriage license?
Speaker 4 (08:10):
I went go are Yeah, how did it feel? I
got really emotional about it. Every little thing we do
like makes me want to cry. It's like so weird.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
What does Robbie do?
Speaker 5 (08:24):
He doesn't cry? No, he gets excited, but he doesn't cry.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
No, but like when you start crying, is he just
like oh cry, like I.
Speaker 4 (08:33):
Got teary eyes.
Speaker 2 (08:34):
Oh okay.
Speaker 4 (08:34):
And I was like, I don't know why I'm so
emotional like that we just got this, and he's like
cause it's really exciting and like you're an emotional person
and like you know you're not going to cry, So
I guess I won't cry either.
Speaker 2 (08:45):
It's probably because of the decor in the Beverly Hills
court House.
Speaker 5 (08:48):
Yeah, but you know they make you raise your right hand.
Speaker 4 (08:51):
They like make you raise your right hand and say
like is everything on these papers? Whatever? Whatever? And I
was like, oh, this feels like so official.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
Yeah, like yeah, girl, you're locking it in. Yeah, you're
both locking it in. Yeah, exciting.
Speaker 4 (09:03):
It is very exciting. Well, but the courthouses are full,
let me tell you. The woman at the front was
like asking us if we were going to do a
ceremony at the courthouse and we were like probably, but
not till like next year, and she was like few, Yeah.
She was like everyone's trying to get in and I
was like that's so weird, Like what a random time
of year to like get.
Speaker 7 (09:24):
Your before the end of the year. You're trying to
lock something down, so.
Speaker 4 (09:28):
She said, tax breaks and then people are scared that
their marriage rights are going to get taken away next Yeah,
trying to get it in very Yeah.
Speaker 6 (09:38):
I was like, dang, well, you don't hear people say
few very often, you know, but that's the extra phone one,
an actual few few.
Speaker 5 (09:44):
Yeah, I think she said fewew whew.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
You don't get that reaction often these days.
Speaker 4 (09:51):
Uh so, yeah, one step closer. We're in the We're
in the We're in the window because you get it
and then you have to get married within ninety days.
Speaker 9 (09:58):
Wow, clock is tickn that's before March, right before after
I don't know, March twenty or yeah, yeah, okay, ninety days.
Speaker 4 (10:10):
Yeah, that's right.
Speaker 7 (10:12):
I'm sure. I'm sure she's done this.
Speaker 6 (10:13):
Man, March eighteenth, ninety days from now.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
Yeah. Correct, But you're gonna get the wedding right yeah, oh.
Speaker 4 (10:21):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, we're gonna lock it in
before yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:24):
Yeah, that's yore.
Speaker 3 (10:28):
Well.
Speaker 4 (10:28):
I was like, I just want to get as much
done before the new year than I possibly can. So
that was one more check off the off the lit.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
My Cammeridge charged and ready to photograph the event, thank
you so much.
Speaker 4 (10:40):
I went into the courthouse and it's like bright yellow
walls that says like love is love and.
Speaker 5 (10:50):
They're bright yellow. But I went into like inspect it.
Speaker 4 (10:52):
There's like a little corner that's like white and it
has like a very avant guard kind of photo. Well,
maybe we can do it in that corner.
Speaker 2 (10:59):
All took all her photos outside when it was they're beautiful.
Speaker 5 (11:03):
Shouldn't do any in the room in the chapel.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
No, I don't think they. I mean maybe I didn't
see those. She didn't post those. The room is really heinous.
And she sent me a picture and it was like
love is Love and I was like, but I do
appreciate the ally ship.
Speaker 4 (11:17):
Yeah, yes, big bold bright riders.
Speaker 2 (11:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (11:23):
Well it's exciting, very exciting. How was the Sonic premiere?
Speaker 2 (11:29):
To talk about that one?
Speaker 7 (11:31):
That was the coolest thing I have ever gotten to
do in my life.
Speaker 6 (11:34):
Wow.
Speaker 10 (11:36):
Becca Beca's like come with me as the Sonic premiere
and because like you can go watch the movie. And
I thought it was gonna be like Alison and I
like jogging place to the side of well, Becca does
her like famous person thing and then like we go
inside to watch the movie, but we got to walk
the blue carpet. We got to getty image out of it.
They held up a whiteboard of my name and they
(11:58):
took pictures of us. The two photographers took pity and
took pictures of us. We got to like have Sonic
chili dogs. We got to do the whole I got
to meet Sonic in the theater, just outside of the
Chinese theater. That was the coolest thing in the world.
We had so much fun and the movie is amazing.
Speaker 7 (12:16):
It's so good. I love Sonic. Yeah, it was unreal.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
It was I truly had no idea how huge of
a premiere. It was like it was like Hollywood.
Speaker 5 (12:28):
Chinese theater is like legit.
Speaker 2 (12:30):
They always do the big ones, but it was it
was like one of the bigger premieres. I feel like
I've gone to and like Jim Carrey there, I'm sorry, Like.
Speaker 4 (12:38):
That franchise is like massive.
Speaker 2 (12:40):
Yeah, I mean yeah, it was huge, and they put
us in like the there was like a space where
like a bunch of the like influencers and content creators went.
So they were had like the Alison got one of
the ring.
Speaker 7 (12:51):
Yeah, they're getting these giant rings.
Speaker 2 (12:53):
What did they do?
Speaker 7 (12:54):
It was just a ring, just a ring.
Speaker 10 (12:56):
They're just there were people had them. I don't know
where they got them. And then Allison was like, to
get that ring, and then I gave her a ring.
It was awesome.
Speaker 2 (13:03):
They were hard to get. People are like searching everywhere else.
Speaker 4 (13:05):
I was like, how did you get that?
Speaker 2 (13:07):
Else?
Speaker 4 (13:07):
You know what those do?
Speaker 3 (13:10):
Yes?
Speaker 7 (13:11):
They create portals.
Speaker 2 (13:12):
Yes, yes, as one knows from the Sonic franchise.
Speaker 4 (13:16):
Yes, exactly. But we're seeing it tonight, so no spoilers.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
They did announce so that Sonic four is in the works.
Speaker 5 (13:23):
They did so.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
My friend Avanti, who works at Paramount, sent it to
me and Tanya and was like, Tanya, here's your chance
to shine, your time to shine.
Speaker 5 (13:33):
I said, put me in coach.
Speaker 4 (13:35):
But I feel like if they already have a date
for it twenty twenty seven, I feel as though they've
probably already cast the crew.
Speaker 6 (13:42):
That's a long time from now, twenty twenty seven.
Speaker 4 (13:44):
I know, but knowing like like just Sophia's movie, what
takes a long time.
Speaker 5 (13:50):
Yeah, that's the thing.
Speaker 4 (13:51):
I don't know animation, but I feel like she makes
movies so far ahead.
Speaker 6 (13:55):
Yeah that I feel I don't think you should be discouraged.
You you have that state, right.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
I don't like that that we're not going in with
that attitude. But also it's like they probably are like,
this franchise is huge, so let's continue it. And they
already know they're gonna have a Sonic for but maybe
they haven't even written the scripture.
Speaker 6 (14:11):
Right, bringing a new Sonic Hedgehog and there you are.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
Yeah, yeah, maybe pitch maybe like a graphic designer to
draw up a little character, color her outfit and stuff.
Uh huh, and then get your voice audition ready. Yeah,
we can just send them.
Speaker 4 (14:28):
Yeah the a clip, no problem, air check, I got you.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (14:35):
No.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
It was really fun. It was cool to I felt.
I was like, wow, I feel so cool that I
got to bring them to something like that. I thought
it was gonna be more like a screening that type.
Was like, well, this is so epic.
Speaker 1 (14:47):
It was.
Speaker 10 (14:47):
It was so yeah, it was just I can't stop
thinking about it. It was like so fun and again,
the movie's so good. There's a Beach Boys song in
the movie. I stood up and cheered. Seeing a movie
with like all the there's a bunch of Sonic fans
in there too. It was so fun because like anytime
some Sonic thing happened, everyone included like lost their minds.
Speaker 5 (15:05):
I sent Savvy the video of you with trying to.
Speaker 2 (15:08):
Show them the TikTok.
Speaker 4 (15:09):
Yeah, he was like, that's so cool.
Speaker 6 (15:12):
Yeah, I know.
Speaker 2 (15:14):
It was kind of one of those where they would have.
Speaker 5 (15:17):
Really thrived, I know, but he had to play that night.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
So Sonic four though, yes, which one which will be
featuring you? It'll be even more special. Could have a
new baby in the picture too, Oh my god, like
a one year older.
Speaker 5 (15:33):
You don't take babies to the movies though, No, but you.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
Could take them to like the event of it, and
then Robbie could take the kids, you know, the older kids.
Speaker 4 (15:40):
When do you start taking kids to movies?
Speaker 2 (15:42):
There were kids there. There was a lot of kids
like how.
Speaker 5 (15:44):
Old, though not babies.
Speaker 2 (15:45):
I know.
Speaker 6 (15:45):
We took Alie to Her first movie was she was
three three, I feel like, but it was like a
nature documentary. It was nothing too well louder. It was
Earth Disney's Earth.
Speaker 7 (15:55):
I was two and my first movie was Young Guns
sorry Philip.
Speaker 6 (16:01):
Guns movie.
Speaker 4 (16:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (16:04):
I was thinking four.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
Yeah, I feel like that's a good age. We'll cross
that bridge once we arrive. Yes, but we do have
a Dear Bonnie episode today, so we are going to
get back. There's some there's some hard hitting emails and
problems that they need us to solve, you guys, So
lock in and we'll be back. All right. We are
(16:44):
back and with our final deer Bonia of the year.
Speaker 4 (16:48):
Wow, I'm getting like really sad. Like everybody's like, I
went to my last sculpt class of the year that
down for the year. Oh my gosh.
Speaker 5 (16:59):
She's like, this is the LAS class. Make it a
good one.
Speaker 2 (17:01):
I was like, what, Oh, I'm happy to hear that
they're taking time off for themselves though.
Speaker 4 (17:08):
Yeah the last one listen.
Speaker 5 (17:10):
So sculpted out for there.
Speaker 6 (17:14):
By the way, I don't want to have a goal
for twenty twenty five. I don't want to write a
need checks. That's what I've decided. I'm not going to
write a single check in twenty twenty four.
Speaker 7 (17:20):
Yeah, checks twenty four in the check.
Speaker 6 (17:23):
So what do you do when you get a bill
from the dentist office. I got a bill from the
dentist office two days ago. I'm like, well, crap, that's
the place to put or I call them and I
get credit.
Speaker 2 (17:33):
Cards, upgrade your dent to get your dentists.
Speaker 6 (17:35):
But I don't write checks anymore.
Speaker 5 (17:36):
Yeah, that that dentist needs it.
Speaker 2 (17:39):
That feels like a very doable I hope it.
Speaker 6 (17:42):
But doctor's offices need to get with it.
Speaker 5 (17:45):
I haven't written a check for a doctor's office in How.
Speaker 6 (17:48):
Are you paying your doctor's bills?
Speaker 5 (17:50):
I really call them and I give them my bill,
my bill.
Speaker 6 (17:53):
I'm not sitting on hold either. Have to figure something.
Speaker 5 (17:56):
Maybe two minutes of.
Speaker 6 (17:57):
Hold, I am.
Speaker 2 (17:58):
I never call a single person. I never write a
single check. It's all online.
Speaker 5 (18:02):
Everything feels advanced.
Speaker 6 (18:05):
I need to go to your doctors.
Speaker 5 (18:06):
Yeah, here we go.
Speaker 6 (18:08):
F'm anonymous obsessed with the podcast Your Dynamic, and that
you released two episodes a week. I'm a news scrubber
from September of twenty four, while that's just a few
months ago.
Speaker 7 (18:17):
Welcome.
Speaker 6 (18:17):
I'm currently alternating between the newly released episodes and the
catalog of episodes past. I'm in my mid thirties and
I realized I had a strong connection with women. When
I was twenty nine. I met someone with whom I
had an undeniable connection, and initially things went well, but
I struggled with internalized homophobia, which conflicted with my beliefs
about being true to yourself and loving freely. I came
(18:38):
out to my family and some friends, and though it
wasn't terrible, it was uncomfortable. I eventually retreated from the relationship,
partly blaming my partner for the pressure to come out
and push that part of myself aside, finding it easier
to date men, but I felt guilty, angry, and disconnected
from who I was. Listening to this podcast, recommended by
a friend, helped me reflect on my fears and inspired
(18:58):
me to embrace who I am. Hearing stories, particularly Becka's
journey to openly and proudly loving, made me realize how
much I was missing by hiding a vital part of myself.
I have since recome out with greater confidence and gotten
overwhelmingly positive responses, started exploring a new relationship with a woman,
and I feel happier and more at peace than I
have in years. Now, I'm at a crossroads. I haven't
(19:20):
come out to some long distance friends, not because I
don't trust them, but because of my own fears and insecurities.
I'm not sure how to broach the subject without making
them feel like I didn't trust them or value our friendship.
I've had chances to share this part of myself, but
I've avoided it out of fear, often making excuses about
being busy or mentioning days with men to avoid the topic.
I'd appreciate advice on how to start this conversation in
a way that honors our friendship and builds understanding. Thank
(19:42):
you all for sharing your stories and for all the
laugh out loud moments and wishing you all happy holidays.
Speaker 8 (19:49):
You know.
Speaker 2 (19:51):
I'm trying. This was so long ago for me, like
navigating when I first started dating Haley, and like coming
out to my friends, like having those conversations feel so foreign,
but I just remember, I'm all being positive, so I
don't have I also.
Speaker 4 (20:06):
Feel like you didn't like call up any long distance
friends and said like, hey, by the way, I'm dating
a girl, Like I don't know if that's totally necessary.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
Well, I think if it's someone that she's in like,
if it's a friend that she's talking to all the time,
you know, like if it's.
Speaker 5 (20:19):
What what does one consider a long distance friend?
Speaker 2 (20:23):
Like JoJo's a long distance friend, ah okay, a friend
who lives a long distances In my mind, I'm thinking
like old friends from high school that live in your hometown.
Speaker 5 (20:35):
And then now you've moved away, blah blah blah.
Speaker 2 (20:37):
It sounds like these are still people in her life,
they're just not part of her everyday life. So they
want to know, like that she's spending time with a woman,
got it. I think you just text them and be like,
I'm dating someone new and if they ask questions and
then you just are like, well she is, she's blah
blah blah. The thing is, because you're feeling insecure and
(20:58):
nervous about it, it's gonna come across. Everything is about
how you deliver information, right, So, like, if you're feeling
really excited about this person and you say it with
enthusiasm and you're not really focusing on the fact about
her gender, and you're more just like, she's amazing. This
is how we met. I think your friends are going
to be more receptive and see that you're happy and
(21:19):
confident in it, and I think that's going to make
them respond in a way that makes you feel seen
and encouraged by them. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (21:28):
I think we put so much pressure on ourselves and
I can't speak to the specific conversation of like coming
out to friends. But I feel like a lot of
people have insecurities when they're dating, and like, let's say,
you know, some people that have kids feel insecure about
the fact that they have kids when they're dating. And
it's all about how you say it, you know, like
if you say I have kids, that's like a negative connotation.
(21:50):
But if you're like, oh, my gosh, you have the
cutest little dimples. My son has dimples like that, you know,
like you're telling them without making it like a thing.
So I feel like taking that approach of just like
I think some times we bog ourselves down with having
to have like the perfect words, the perfect time, and
the perfect thing to say and have it be this
whole thing when in reality, like you're dating someone and
you're happy, Yeah, that's really all it is.
Speaker 2 (22:11):
Yeah. I was thinking though, aside you not even having
kid like more so from the perspective of you dating
someone with kids, it's kind of that same thing of
like if you were like, eh, he has kids, but
instead you're like, oh, yeah, have my fiance or his
son or you know, my step kids. There's a lot
of excitement and confidence when you talk about it, so
it never I don't think ever felt like a thing
(22:33):
because it was something about it his life that you
were excited about. Right, So I think that is the
advice that I'd give, And I'm proud of you for
not pushing your true self and feelings to the side anymore,
because we do only have one life to live, and
I think it's I think it's so important to you know,
(22:55):
live your truth and also the people that that are
going to be in your life are going to respond
in a way where they're excited for you and see
you know your happiness.
Speaker 6 (23:07):
Agreed to Tiny's point, though, I do think there is
something to live in your life and people can figure
it out on their own. Isn't there something to just
kind of just live your life?
Speaker 2 (23:15):
If I was like, oh my gosh, somewhere else get
like people that I haven't talked to in forever, but
like if like uh Tanya ali Jojo, like those are
all people that I was like excited to, like those
are people that are very much a part of my life.
So it was like I can't not like I can't
just expect them to figure it out. And then they
(23:37):
were like, wait, you're hanging out with a girl. Why
why didn't you tell us? You know, I think there's
something about being confident enough and happy enough to be
excited to share that information with people that you love
and that love you.
Speaker 5 (23:49):
Yeah. I also just I kind of agree with Mark.
It's like, live your life.
Speaker 2 (23:53):
You mean to tell me? If I was just living
my life and hanging out with Haley privately and didn't
tell you that, I would just be like figured it.
Speaker 4 (23:59):
Out, figuring it out for yourself, and you were like
unsure and like scared or whatever. Like I wouldn't be
offended if it took you longer than it took you
to tell me.
Speaker 6 (24:08):
But also, you guys are besties. She's talking about.
Speaker 4 (24:10):
Long distance friends. It doesn't even say besties. It says
long distance.
Speaker 6 (24:14):
Friends already came out to family and friends. I feel
like this is a.
Speaker 4 (24:18):
This is like you feeling the need to like call like.
Speaker 7 (24:26):
That's pure buffering face the doctor.
Speaker 4 (24:29):
That you worked for in San Diego to be like
what I'm dating Haley Kyoko.
Speaker 2 (24:34):
Now this feels different than that. We don't know. All
I'm saying is if this is, if this is someone
like Jojo in your life, that I think it's worth
it to pick up the phone and have the conversation.
Is someone like that used to San Diego. You don't
owe anyone anything if you're not ready correct.
Speaker 6 (24:54):
I hope it is Jojo all right? Uh, I know
the akings are all in, so I don't need to
say that anymore. My boyfriend I just broke up, but
we still have so much love for each other. He
said he needed to grow an areas because he wasn't
the man he knew I deserved. He also said he
wasn't happy with himself and with his life and with
his work. It's really hard because there's still so much
(25:14):
love there. But I do believe he stopped pursuing me
a year ago. During the relationship. I feel like I
lost some of my feminine energy. And I'm curious what
Tanya did in her time post breakup from Robbie to
gain back her confidence, her feminine injury energy and work
on herself. Love you guys, the trigger.
Speaker 4 (25:30):
Event, the trigger event. I worked out a lot. I
like channeled my energy into running and I would run
like nine miles.
Speaker 2 (25:40):
You were crazy runner.
Speaker 4 (25:41):
Then it was the only time that I could just
like not think about anything.
Speaker 6 (25:46):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 4 (25:46):
I know that sounds so cringe, like even like even
saying it. It's like just you in the in the road,
in the random just people walking around the neighborhood exactly.
So I found a lot of like peace in that. Also,
(26:08):
your feminine energy, like when you're in your ovulatory phase
masturbating is like amazing.
Speaker 5 (26:14):
Are you allowed to say that?
Speaker 4 (26:15):
On here?
Speaker 6 (26:15):
Sure have fun?
Speaker 5 (26:16):
Okay?
Speaker 4 (26:17):
That I feel like makes you feel I don't know,
like you. It feels you feel glowy. Is that what
you're asking she's asking about feminine energy? Yeah, it makes
me glowy and like I can do it. I can
do this for myself. I don't need anybody else. I
got me myself and I So that would be my advice.
Speaker 2 (26:36):
I also feel like even just getting yourself up and
ready to go places, because you probably don't feel like
going and doing anything but getting dinner with a friend
and like really dressing up and making yourself feel your best.
Speaker 5 (26:48):
Oh yeah, I don't think like I was going on
a first date any outing.
Speaker 2 (26:51):
Ye I had Yes, even if she stayed home. Yes,
she was dressed for her first date.
Speaker 4 (26:56):
I was dressed for first date. Taking pics, yeah, posting
them up.
Speaker 2 (27:00):
Yeah, I would say do things that make you like
before you lost that, like what did you do that
where you felt confident in yourself? Like what were you
doing where you felt your best version, whether it was
like going on walks whatever it looked like.
Speaker 4 (27:12):
Yeah, And I also like did a lot of It's
probably not the best way to handle things, like in hindsight,
but I would just like load up my schedule. I
would just like do all the things that I wanted.
I would organize my like Monica Geller closet, I would
you know what I mean, like gives give away like
stuff that I wasn't wearing to the shelter, all that
kind of stuff that like you put on the back burner,
and then you feel so good, you feel like accomplished.
(27:34):
And that also gives you back like a lot of
confidence because you're like, yeah, like I can freaking do
anything anything anything.
Speaker 2 (27:40):
Good luck. Though I'm also glad that he acknowledged that
he wasn't able to be the person that would be
a good I get it.
Speaker 11 (27:48):
It feels like a cop out, Like every guy feels
like that's fine rather him ended then stay in a
relationship where he's not giving where he she feels like
he stopped pursuing her a year ago, so I'm like, she,
it sounds like maybe she wouldn't have ended it.
Speaker 2 (28:03):
So I feel glad that he was, like, I'm doing
it for you, for us, because now she can tap it.
Speaker 4 (28:09):
It's like nobody's ever where they want to be when
they're at that, you know what I mean? Like, I
feel like, in correct me if I'm wrong. I feel
like a lot of men when they're ready to propose,
feel like they want to be wanted to be further along.
Speaker 6 (28:20):
That was a major part of my my proposal speech
was how we are not where we want to be
in life at this point, but I don't care.
Speaker 5 (28:28):
Right, A lot of people feel that way. It's kind
of like they just warn each other's people.
Speaker 2 (28:34):
But she he may have been feeling that was like,
I'm not able to be the person you want, but
it'll probably be able to be that person for someone else.
But I'm saying he did her favor because she's about
to tap into her best self and meet her Robbie.
Speaker 5 (28:49):
That's right.
Speaker 6 (28:50):
So in summary, exercise, organization, and lots of quality time
with yourself.
Speaker 3 (28:55):
Correct?
Speaker 5 (28:57):
Should I say it like that quality time not the
actual word?
Speaker 7 (28:59):
I could say you want to say you can say
the word, you just can't do it.
Speaker 6 (29:02):
That's the beauty of Kanya. No filter.
Speaker 5 (29:04):
No, I'm saying filter in podcast world? Are we allowed
to say that? On the Share.
Speaker 6 (29:09):
The Rules podcasts?
Speaker 3 (29:10):
Whew?
Speaker 6 (29:11):
I'm jumping ahead one just so you're following along. Hi, Beca,
Mark Easton and Tanya Oh. I got second billing on
that one. That is rare.
Speaker 4 (29:18):
Wow.
Speaker 6 (29:19):
First off, I want to say how much I love
and appreciate all of you your podcast. It's been a
constant source of comfort and joy for me over the
past seven years, helping me through some of the hardest
times in my life. When I was first coming out
to my parents, I posted in the scrubbing and Facebook
groups sharing that I was about to do it. In
an hour, I was flooded with supportive comments, including one
from Becca. My parents still haven't come around, and I'm
(29:40):
not sure they ever will, but I screenshoted those comments
and revisit them often on tough days. They remind me
I'm not alone, and I'm so grateful for that. After
recent events, my girlfriend and I have decided to lope
so we can legally marry while it's still possible. We
are in Texas. We still plan to go through our
originally planned proposals next year and have a bigger wedding
down the road. How I want to make this elopement
(30:01):
feel special for my girlfriend, even though it's not how
we envisioned our timeline, and we'll be keeping it a
secret for most of the people we know. For now,
to celebrate, we're having dinner with our closest friends who've
always supported us. But I'd love your advice. How can
I make this elopement feel meaningful and magical for my
partner even in the midst of these stressful and uncertain times.
We've been together five years. Our journey feels so similar
(30:21):
to Becca's and Haley's. We've always looked up to you too,
and would truly appreciate any advice for making this moment
as special as it deserves to be. Thank you so
much for everything you do. Love you, guys, and happy holidays.
Speaker 8 (30:33):
You know.
Speaker 2 (30:34):
First of all, I just feel so proud for you
because it is so hard to navigate unsupportive family and
friends like I. There were I think a lot of people,
because I didn't talk about my relationship for so long,
think that it was all just like perfect and there
was no hiccups and everyone just showered us and support
(30:56):
and love. But that wasn't really the case, and there
there's been a lot of progress since then, but it
was definitely not perfect, and like in those four years
of keeping our relationship private, there was a lot of
like heartache and therapy. But so first of all, I'm
very proud of you for, you know, for getting through that,
(31:17):
because it's really really hard, and I am so sorry
that you're having to think about I'm so sorry that
you're having to rush something that's so personal and exciting
because of the fear and what could happen in our
country and in you know, different states. Sorry, I just
(31:46):
I haven't talked about this, and this is like the
reality for people.
Speaker 8 (31:52):
It's like they might not be able to you know,
love who they love or commit And I think it's
like such a reality because in reality, Haley and I
don't have anything to worry about in California, Like we're
in a state where like that's probably gonna be safe
for the most part.
Speaker 3 (32:12):
But there's people like this who are having to rush.
You know, you're getting to have your dream wedding and
not have to think about that at all, and not
everyone's gonna have that luxury in some places, and it's
so meaningful and special, and I hate that you're even
having to think about that. So I would say, you know,
(32:39):
think about the people that you want to be there,
because that is the truest celebration you want to when
you want it to feel full of love and people
who surround you with love and make it feel light and.
Speaker 2 (32:56):
Magical, just sucks. Sorry. I don't want to make this
like sad thing because I'm also happy for them that
they're getting married. I think it's just like you know,
you hear these stories and they're just like sad personal
(33:21):
But anyways, I think you have like beautiful flowers or
find things that she loves, like I know Haley loves
nature and art and color and so I would you know,
and she loves good food, like that's one of her
like passions is food. So making sure that all of
(33:41):
your favorite people and your favorite things are there, and
just making sure that that day feels only full of
love and excitement and not daunted by the reality of
you know, the outside of it.
Speaker 6 (33:58):
Idea throwing it out there and if this is crazy,
you can tell me. But it seems like one thing
that always makes a moment magical is live music. Could
you have a guitar player they're playing her favorite song?
Speaker 4 (34:07):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (34:08):
I feel that would be cool.
Speaker 4 (34:09):
I feel like you get to do I think like
when you do and it might be different in Texas,
but I feel like you have that fifteen minute window
to do whatever you want. So like, maybe you do
make it up and do it as big as you
possibly can and write your vows and document it and
have somebody live perform her favorite song and have somebody
(34:34):
I don't really know how it works with the efficient,
but somebody meaningful in your life there to do it,
and like, do it up as much as you can,
and don't make it like an elopement that's just an elopement.
Speaker 2 (34:45):
Make it make it matter, yeah, make it feel like
yours and like what you know, it's almost like what
you would do without the circumstance, but on a smaller scale,
and just you know, make sure that it makes sure
it's special for you too. I love the idea of
having someone playing music and having like a few of
(35:06):
your favorite songs played so y'all can dance and or like.
Speaker 4 (35:12):
This might be crazy, but if you could take some
of like the letters that she's written you and make
like some sort of a handkerchief out of it, or
like like I don't know, like, yeah, I'm thinking on
the spot here, but like take maybe some letters or
maybe xerox them, not like the actual letters, and make
like some sort of bouquet out of them, you know
(35:34):
what I mean, like oregonmy flowers, like letters that she's
written you, or like post its or whatever, like something
meaningful like that could be really sweet too.
Speaker 2 (35:42):
Yeah, but I think it's gonna beautiful. And I think
that having the people who love you and support you
being there is what's gonna make it so special. So
I'm so happy for you. Sorry for that breakdown, but.
Speaker 4 (35:56):
We love you, and yeah, we love We're so happy
for you.
Speaker 6 (36:01):
Let's break Yeah, we have a couple of fun ones
coming up that aren't so having an advicey and there
are more just kind of fun comments, so we'll come
back with that.
Speaker 4 (36:25):
Hi.
Speaker 1 (36:26):
I'm Kristin Davis, and I want to know are you
a Charlotte? In nineteen ninety seven, my life was forever
changed when I took on the role of Charlotte York
on a new HBO show called Sex and the City
as we watched Carrie, Samantha, Miranda, and Charlotte navigate relationships
in New York City. The show helped push once unacceptable
(36:46):
conversation topics out of the shadows and altered the narrative
around women and sex. We all saw ourselves in them
as they searched for fulfillment in life, sex and friendships.
Now I want to connect with you and share untoldies
and all the behind the scenes together with special guests.
What will begin with Sex and the City will evolve
(37:06):
into talks about themes.
Speaker 4 (37:08):
That are still so relevant today.
Speaker 1 (37:10):
Are You a Charlotte is a much more than just
rewatching our beloved show. It brings the past and the
present together as we talk with heart, humor, and of.
Speaker 4 (37:21):
Course some optimism.
Speaker 1 (37:23):
Listen to Are You a Charlotte on the iHeartRadio app,
Apple Podcast or wherever you get your podcasts.
Speaker 2 (37:36):
All right, we're back. This is just like the most
shocking title I've ever seen for an email, So let's
get right into it.
Speaker 6 (37:43):
Rude the headline is which our producer Sam adds to these.
Tanya's opening line worked for me Hi Becka, Tanya Mark,
and Easton O G Scrubber here. I've listened since the beginning,
and one of the reasons why I love the podcast
so much was because I too was an early thirties
girly trying to find her forever guy. I found comfort
(38:04):
and laughter in Becca and Tanya's dating stories, as I
knew all too well what they were experiencing. Tanya and
I even had a similar experience in twenty nineteen. We
were both hosting guys we had been dating through FaceTime Doctor,
screen Time Wolf in our cities and meeting for the
first time. I even talked to Ryan on the Morning
Show about it. In my late thirties, I struggled with
the possibility that might just be God's plan for me
(38:26):
not to be married or have a family, And after
every cry wondering why something didn't work out, I'd always say,
God doesn't take away gold to give you silver, or
man's rejection is God's protection. Thank you, Tanya. Fast forward
to twenty twenty two, I felt it in my heart
to download the apps again. I meshed with a cute
guy my age that I'd never seen on there before
and sent him a message. It was Tanya's go to
(38:47):
message from Harriot Days. I said Happy Tuesday. Thankfully, he
thought it was cute and responded. We hit it off
and met for dinner a few weeks later. Two months
after that midweek greeting, he asked me to be as girlfriend,
and two years later to the date, he asked me
to be his wife. Thanks to the whole team for
being a constant joy in my life of the encouragement
and positivity you bring through this podcast, including the reassurance
(39:10):
I got from you all and Scrubbers that there are
good guys out there. I love you all.
Speaker 5 (39:15):
Let this be a lesson to everybody out there.
Speaker 2 (39:19):
One man's trash is another man's treasury.
Speaker 4 (39:21):
Exactly, and honestly, if that doesn't work, the happy whatever
date it is, which is clearly a shoot three pointer
flam dunk. Yes, I also suggest the are you friends
with Robert Graham?
Speaker 6 (39:36):
Line?
Speaker 4 (39:37):
Oh, that's a good one, because that really works. That's
more of an in real life, in person one. So
this is good for the dating apps Happy Tuesday, But
that are you friends with Robert Graham is a big perfect.
Speaker 2 (39:50):
Should it be not Robert Graham, but like another person
that they actually know, so then there's some connection there.
Speaker 4 (39:56):
Sure, Roberts She's saying like, like, use somebody that's actually
in your life, like, oh, are you friends with Like
let's say her friend. Her friend is like.
Speaker 6 (40:06):
Bob, Bob Brewer, Bob Brewer, Oh yeah.
Speaker 4 (40:09):
You know, are you friends with Bob Brewer?
Speaker 5 (40:13):
I like Robert Graham.
Speaker 4 (40:14):
Because it feels so generic, I know, but we know
Robert Graham.
Speaker 2 (40:17):
So there's something to lead back to, all right.
Speaker 5 (40:19):
And then they would ask me questions and what does
he do?
Speaker 4 (40:21):
Where does he live? And I'm like, oh, yeah, yeah,
to do right right right? Yeah, yeah, then you go
deeper into the lies. So maybe that's a good suggestion.
I think it's great.
Speaker 6 (40:29):
Yeah, congratulations Emily, We're very pard for listening, and yeah,
great news. Lauren found a godwink in an old podcast. Hi, Becka, Tanya,
Mark and Easton. I'm listening back to Scrubbing In from
the beginning. That's quite a binge and came across the
biggest godwink of all for Tanya. You met Mark l.
Wahlberg and Hawaiian twenty nineteen. He talked to Tiny about
(40:51):
adapting the I quit mentality, quitting looking and searching for
your person, letting him come to you and happen the
way it should. Instead, the next day she met Doctor
screen Time that I want to the window. Tanya says
she ran into Mark on the street when Doctor screen
Time came to town, and she took it as a
godwink that she should still be quitting and should quit
Doctor screen Time. A few months later, he came back
in the podcast Putting All Your Eggs in One Basket
(41:13):
October fourteenth, twenty nineteen.
Speaker 5 (41:14):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 6 (41:16):
Tanya updates him, says he didn't listen. Says she didn't
listen to the I Quit advice and they laugh about
him seeing her with Doctor screen Time. He then goes
on to say he was just like Tanya, searching for
his person, wondering when she was going to come into
his life. He then said the moment he quit, he.
Speaker 7 (41:29):
Met his wife, Robbie.
Speaker 6 (41:33):
Mark Wahlberg's wife is named Robbie, which when I read this,
I went and did the research, and it's true.
Speaker 2 (41:38):
We were obsessed with her. Remember awesome.
Speaker 4 (41:41):
Mark Wahlberg has been this weird pinnacle in my life,
like himself, so weird to say out loud, but like
that really was like a turning point.
Speaker 5 (41:50):
What he said to me in Hawaii, and then I did.
Speaker 4 (41:53):
I remember I met Doctor screen time the day after,
and then I ran into Mark Wahlberg with this man,
what are the odds?
Speaker 2 (42:01):
But then there was sing Your Butterfly right before.
Speaker 6 (42:05):
Robbie she mentioned him as well. Tinya met Robbie right
after this. Strangely, Mark Wahlberg and Tiny seemed like kindred spirits.
And it's the biggest godwink of all that she got
her very own Robbie right after this, and she quit
Senior Butterfly and adopted the mentality in her own way.
I thought I was so cute. I knew Tiny would
appreciate the connection.
Speaker 5 (42:22):
So crazy, How did I never connect those dots?
Speaker 4 (42:25):
I remember I saw her getting her nails done on Ventura,
like not recently, but in that like Parah, She's so cute.
How did you never think about that?
Speaker 2 (42:34):
I don't know, because we were like obsessed with obsessed.
Speaker 4 (42:36):
With them, even her and their daughter, Robbie Morgan.
Speaker 6 (42:40):
Wow, the wife of Mark L. Wahlberg, legendary game show
and reality show.
Speaker 5 (42:44):
Wow, Lauren, thank you for that.
Speaker 2 (42:47):
That is so fun. Wow.
Speaker 4 (42:50):
October fourteen, twenty nineteen.
Speaker 6 (42:52):
What a time, What a time? Over five years ago?
Speaker 4 (42:55):
Yeah, because I met Robbie November, first of where we met, Yeah,
twenty nineteen. Wow, that's crazy. Two weeks after this.
Speaker 2 (43:06):
I'm trying to think of the timeline because oh, September.
Speaker 4 (43:10):
Was send You're a butterfly. Yes, yeah, the butterfly was
before doctor screen time.
Speaker 2 (43:16):
Doctor screen time came after. Yes. Oh okay, all right,
I need to go back into our chats and see
what we back in the day. Good times. Wow.
Speaker 10 (43:27):
When she spells it robb I yeah, also a weird
way of spelling it, just like yours.
Speaker 5 (43:31):
Yes, yes, everybody thinks his name is.
Speaker 6 (43:33):
Roby non traditional.
Speaker 4 (43:35):
Yes, yeah, love it.
Speaker 2 (43:37):
Well. That is the end of a dear bonia of
the last dear bonia of twenty.
Speaker 5 (43:43):
Oh my gosh, I don't want it to be the last.
Speaker 6 (43:46):
Well, before you know it, you'll be doing the first
one of twenty twenty five and with your first sculpt.
Speaker 2 (43:50):
Class sculpt and scrubbing in that's actually cute. Yeah. Right
at the new year, when you start your once a
day movement activity, it's right.
Speaker 11 (44:00):
My community accountability activity.
Speaker 5 (44:04):
Yes, yeah, yeah, yaa.
Speaker 2 (44:07):
All right, We love y'all so much, love you, happy holidays,
all the things, and we'll see you well we have
a few episodes.
Speaker 4 (44:16):
Yeah whatever.
Speaker 6 (44:19):
Expect to hear from us on Christmas, oh.
Speaker 2 (44:21):
Yeah, yeah, and expect to hear from us on New
Year's Eve or a day before the thirtieth.
Speaker 6 (44:27):
Yeah. Yeah, So the twenty fifth and the thirtieth are coming.
Speaker 4 (44:29):
Well, that is just New Year's evadjason, Yes it is.
Speaker 2 (44:33):
We're not gone. We're just we're always around. Correct. If
you need to hear from us, there's an episode. Yeah,
there's a whole catalog of seven years. Yep, sometimes two
a days.
Speaker 5 (44:45):
I mean, I might go back and.
Speaker 4 (44:46):
Listen to October fourteenth of twenty nineteenth.
Speaker 2 (44:49):
I know it would be fun to listen to this,
some of those old ones. All right, we love y'all
so much, love you, love you bye.
Hosts And Creators
Tanya Rad
Rebecca Tilley
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Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang
Ding dong! Join your culture consultants, Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang, on an unforgettable journey into the beating heart of CULTURE. Alongside sizzling special guests, they GET INTO the hottest pop-culture moments of the day and the formative cultural experiences that turned them into Culturistas. Produced by the Big Money Players Network and iHeartRadio.