May 23, 2022 • 50 mins
Soooo anything interesting happen over the weekend? 😉
Becca and Tanya discuss every love-filled moment after the big reveal in Hayley Kiyoko’s new music video and we hear some special stories that have been under wraps for over 4 years!
This scrub session goes all the way to 100P!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Scrubbing In with Beccat Tilly and Tanya Ren and I
Heart Radio podcast. Hello everybody, we are scrubbing in, scrubbing
in on a Monday. I would just also like to
thank Becca Tilly. She brought me um some nourishment in
the form of caffeine this morning that I really needed
and she put her open bottle of drink down on
(00:23):
the floor. So it's nowhere near to any any of
our chords and I'm merch so just shout out to Becca.
But oh my gosh, we have so much to get
into today, so much. There's a lot. I mean, first
of all, oh my, I mean, I would I n
(00:43):
g e for the photos this weekend. They were you
couldn't escape them if you wanted to, So that I mean,
we have to just dive in. Also, like the next
big thing would be Harry's out Harry's house. Yeah, oh
my gosh, come on, come on, come on. There's only
one thing people want to hear us talk about. The
grays Anatomy finale coming up on Thursday. It's gonna be great.
(01:05):
April's back. That's the topic people want to hear about.
Market was really we were going on a good, good
good joke there, and then you threw that one in.
We haven't even I haven't even watched in like three
months far gone. I feel like such a chump when
I'm watching that jow. I'm like, I'm the last one left.
(01:27):
And by the time i catch up, because I'm starting
from scratch with Red Star season one, so it's gonna
be a minute before I catch back. Jackson and April
are coming back this Thursday, so I'll be enjoying that
while you two are off in La la lad. I tried.
I tried to sit down and watch recently, and I
just was like instantly. So now, so I'm I have
(01:48):
made the effort, actually multiple times to get back in
and I just haven't. So so anyway, so we're going
to get to most of those things, minus marks, suggestion, whatever.
But before we do, there's a lot to cover. So
(02:09):
I'm just gonna let Becca take it from here. Um,
I mean, where does one begin? Where does one begin?
I was thinking about it this morning and I was like,
I don't even know where to start the conversation. I mean,
if you were, I guess. On social media. This weekend, um,
there was a reveal of in the form of Haley Kiyoko,
(02:38):
And it's so weird because like the four like we've
all it's been four years of this, like we know.
It's like it's just such a I don't know how
to explain that. I want to get into your brain.
It's it's there's a lot, but it's it was so weird.
Like obviously we knew the video was happening, and that
was going to at least cause talk and speculation, and
(03:02):
I mean, in my mind, I thought, how do we
do this reveal in the video and then not actually
reveal a relationship? You know, it only made sense to
do to do it together, and so the video wasn't
planned as part of the reveal. So the video was
kind of like we were talking about the video and
it's always been a joke, and Haley said she's down
(03:23):
to come on the podcast. So I do want to
save something for like her, to have her take on things.
I don't want to just like go and reveal all
of like the conversations, because I'd like to hear her side,
how like how she saw it. Um, but we were
talking about the video and UM, I've always said I'll
(03:44):
go public. We can go public if I can be
in one of your videos, just like be the video girl,
and I'm not an actress, and she always hires like actress,
like legit actresses, and so she was always like, okayite
when you lost the role or like you lost the part,
And this was supposed to be a video before Yeah,
her Chance video. I had really like tried to get
(04:06):
that role because it was such a cute video, and
luckily she gave it to a legit actress, Alexander Ship,
and she did a great job. And Haley and I
probably would have broken up because she's the director on
her all her videos and she probably would have like
screamed at me the whole time. Um. But so then
we were talking about it, and then you know, I
was kind of saying, like I want to be like
(04:26):
the drunk, crying girl, and so that was originally kind
of where we were, and she's like, if that's what
you want to be, like you can do it. I
was like I never got to be that girl in
The Bachelor. I mean I didn't get to like be
the drama. And then we were talking about it and
she's like, I think we hire again and the actress
(04:48):
got the boot again, and she's like, but what if
you showed up at the end like you did on
the Ben season and you come out of the limo
as like a surprise, And I was like, that's cool,
that's fun. I mean I've already gone it. No, it's
so tasteful and perfect and like, oh, that's so good.
So it ended up being that, Um, we had just
(05:10):
gone to Cabo for our friends are from Brittany's birthday
and I got I was like so sick when I
came back. So when we were filming the video, I
was like not feeling well. I was just like, oh,
you know. It was one of those days where I
was like I don't like how I look blah blah blah.
But um, my sister Caroline styled the whole video, so
she was on set and it was just all the
girls were amazing, Like they were so fun and it
(05:32):
actually felt like the set of The Bachelor, like they
were so yeah, they were so in character and like
committed to their like the role of like being on
the show, and um, it was really fun. But we
never just you know, it was never this like okay,
when the videos revealed your relationships are built, right, it
(05:52):
was like kind of cheeky. It was kind of like
people have already been talking for a long time, let's
give a nod to my past of being on the
Bachelor and to our relationship. And I just was kind
of like, I think I'm read like I think i'm
I think it's time. You know, I'm for four years,
have you know it's been our relationship, But I've never
(06:15):
I was telling someone the other day like Haley and
I never were secret, Like we were very much ourselves.
We held hands in public, we kiss, I entered if
I met someone. I mean, I'm sure a lot of
the scrubbers that have met. If I was with Haley,
I introduced her, this is my girlfriend, Haley. I never
was like, this is my friend or this is my
best friend. You know, like I really made an effort
(06:36):
to make sure that there was that distinction between private
and secret. And I remember getting like d M s
and people being like, why is she keeping this a secret?
And I was like, there's such this weird, like warped
like perception of privacy via social media because we're so
expected to share everything, um, and so you know, as
(07:00):
time was getting closer, I was like, I think him right,
I mean it feels like time. And I posted the video,
the real video of us, and um, I posted it
and then I kind of put my phone down and
I looked at Haley and I was like, oh my gosh,
like it's out there, like it's not just ours anymore,
and she's like it is hours. Like we still can
(07:22):
choose like what we share whatever, but you know, people
are going to be so supportive, and um, I was
just not prepared for the support at all. Like, first
of all, the thing that was obviously I've known about
your relationship, so I was like watching it all unfold
on social media and like all these posts and stuff
(07:44):
and so like right when the music video came out,
it was like Beck Attilly makes shocking surprise, you know,
guest appearance and Haley Kyoko's video and then like three
hours later it's you know, Beck and Haley Kyoko confirmed
their relationship with a kiss on stage, and then the
next day it was like Becca has this. It was
just like the constant um updates on your on your
(08:05):
relationship or something that you were posting or people were seeing,
and it was like very from an outsider seeing it all,
I can't imagine if it was me so I imagine
I want to hear your reaction to just like seeing
it all unfold. But it was very crazy seeing the
like of it all. Yeah, it was like every couple
hours there was a different like side to it. So
(08:26):
I realized. Actually, So the video came out Thursday at
nine pm and then we had a party at this bar,
and um, so we left for the bar like right
as the video came out, So I didn't even have
time to like get on social media yet. Like I
actually went straight to the scrubbing in Facebook group and
(08:47):
I was just like hi, and that's all I posted.
I gotta get back in I do, um Facebook help me.
And then we went to the bar and it was
like insanity, Like it was so crowded. I was so sober,
Like I was like, my brain is just like fully
overwhelmed right now. And um, Luckily I saw Tania, Paulina
(09:08):
and Sophia like right when we got on the car,
and I was like, oh my god, being god, y'all
are here, and and then Haley was like giving a
speech like thanking everyone for being there, and I'm like filming.
I'm like happy to be in the cute. No, it
was the cutest thing, and I saw you just like
you were around and nobody that you knew, like you
were like out in the crowd with all of her
fans filming Haley's speech, like you like with the biggest
(09:31):
smile on your face. Total Chris Jenner. I filmed it.
It was just the cutest thing ever. I should put
the whole thing in this Facebook group when I get
back in because it was just like proud Chris Jenner.
Moment is so sweet. And and then she goes like,
where's Becca. Becca came here? And I was like no,
Like I had no idea she was going to bring
me on stage and I was like, oh no. In
(09:52):
those videos, I look so uncomfortable, like you can tell.
I was just like, you not prepared for that. And
after that moment, because she you know, she was here's
the final rows, was like okay, like um, but and
then she kissed me, and of course like everyone's I
just see everyone's phone going crazy, and I'm like, you know,
I had a moment after that where I realized I
don't like a ton of direct attention on me, Like
(10:15):
I don't like a lot of like I like kind
of I enjoyed being there filming her, which is great
because she's a performer and she thrives on eyes on
her um. And so then we went back home and
like some people came over. We had pizza and stuff
and then went to bed, and so I just it
(10:35):
was kind of almost like the best distraction, you know,
the party, because it wasn't like I was just sitting
on my phone like watching because I did not know
how it was going to go. I knew that I had,
like I knew I had a big group of people
that had my back and that we're going to support
me and love me and encourage me and us in
our relationship, and people who have championed our relationship since
(10:58):
day one, even people like she went to Ben's wedding
with me, and like I introduced her to so many
people from the Bachelor world and just people from different
parts of my life, and everyone was so warm and
kind to her that I knew, like even people are
not like super close with they would still be supportive,
you know. But it was like in the Scrubbers. Of course,
I knew like the majority of the Scrubbers were going
(11:19):
to be there, but there was this other part of
me that had been fearing the reaction of people. First
for four years, like there was that do I want
to let that negativity into our relationship? And I when
I made the decision to go public with it, I thought,
(11:40):
I have this army of people who have my back
no matter what, and like, the people that I care
about most in the world are are our supporters and
they love us, and um, and so I was prepared
for anything and everything. I was not prepared for the
amount of love and support that we got, Like I
(12:02):
just could have never I could have never predicted. I
made a pretty far before I started crying. I cried
all day on Friday. So but um, you know, I
think there was a lot of emotion and I've always
(12:24):
felt your support and love and um, Hayley has really
you know, made me feel brave. And she was always
like people are gonna love you. People love you, and
they want to see you happy. And I just I'm
so thankful for you guys. And this podcast, like making sure,
(12:46):
like the pronoun thing was so stressed, like every time
I would have to reformulate sentences in my head before
I said, I'm like, oh God, how am I gonna
to do this? You know? And then even still y'all
looked out for me, and um, you know, if we
were if we were like going to like doing something
(13:09):
and it slipped out fast and be like oh you know,
And I just I think that was um like a
moment where someone actually come into this in the Facebook group.
They were like how amazing that so many people in
their life new and this never got out. And I
(13:29):
was like the level of like respect that that takes
for people to keep something like that to themselves and
not out us was pretty incredible, like looking at it
because like a lot of people knew. It's not like
it was like yeah, um so, I just I could
(13:54):
have never prepared myself. And that morning, actually Hayley had
had all my close friends right like a hare to
me or a letter to me. I started the day.
I mean I was like sobbing because I was like
I was not prepared for this, and she was like,
I just wanted you to be like covered in love today.
And I felt so at peace all day, Like I
(14:14):
never once felt anxious like towards like when the release
is happening. Really, when I got to the crowded bar,
I got anxious, but I was like from the crowd honestly,
I was like what But I never you know, I
never had this like what am I doing? Like this
is where I'm not doing it? Something's wrong? You know.
I just felt so loved and at peace and um,
(14:38):
so it was just it was I couldn't have asked
or predicted anything better as far as just that day
and how I felt, and um, we both felt it.
So I was really grateful. You deserve it. And I think, um,
you know, for it's interesting because I think some people
(15:01):
listening might not understand because it's just like you love
who you love and that's it, and you know what
I mean, Like it's not a big deal. But I
think when you, you know, if you kind of really
look at you know, if you're you've been told that
something's wrong or you're doing something wrong, and you feel
that for so many years to be free and to
feel the love and support that you deserve and that
(15:23):
like everybody deserves, you know, it's just like I was
really overwhelmed and emotional for you two over the weekend
because like, you deserve nothing less than this. And I
hope you didn't see one negative comment because I don't
think I did. But I kind of like I purposely
like didn't go searching too far, but you know, I
(15:45):
think I and I do think. I actually watched this
video the day of and Hayley's sister actually sent it
to me, and it's this you would love it. It's
these caterpillars talking to a butterfly, and the butter the
caterpillars are like you've changed, like you're not like us,
and the butterflies like I'm me, and then you know,
(16:07):
the butterfly goes to like hug the caterpillars, and um,
it's like in your own the butterflies like in your
own way, thanks for caring, but like I'm gonna go
beat me, you know. And I thought, you know, people
who have or people who have questions or they're confused,
like I think they're just sometimes it's their own way
(16:30):
of caring and it's not always perfect. It's not always
how you want it to go. But sometimes people just
car and they don't know how to like formulate it
or express it in the right way. But um, there
were so many people in the Facebook group who and
people who message me saying that they've you know, been
(16:53):
going through the same thing and navigating their sexuality and
it's so it's so much bigger than me that that
was also a very humbling thing of like I've I've
thought so much about like how is this going to
affect me? How's it going to affect my relationship? And
it's the whole thing was so much bigger than me.
Like I got messages from people saying they had a
(17:15):
family friend who's daughter was navigating or just came out
to them and my video gave them a different perspective
and I was like, oh, yeah, like this isn't just
about me personally. Yeah. Well, And I think also something
that I feel like over the years, when you know,
friend friends of mine or whatever, they met you and
(17:36):
they're like, oh, she has a girlfriend. I didn't know
she was a lesbian, and I'm like, she's not, you know,
she just has a girlfriend. Like I don't know how
to tell you. You know, it's just like everybody's quick
to or like you have to be a certain thing,
and it's just like, no, I love this woman, you know,
like I've never felt like this before and I'm happy
(17:56):
and that's it. And I think that was also a
thing for me was like when I met Haley and
we got into relationship. Like I didn't even think about
having to like label myself for like my sexuality or
what that meant because we fell in love so fast
that it was just kind of like I was like,
by the way, not for this podcast, but maybe next week.
(18:18):
I wanted I wanted to tell the story of like
how it happened. Well, that's why I definitely want to
do that with Haley. Yeah, but I will talk about
your reaction. Um, And like you know, there there was
an leading up to this point. I was like, oh
(18:38):
my gosh, I'm gonna have to address like my sexuality,
my label. And I was like, I've never connected with that,
and I think my story is different from other people,
Like even you know, my sisters when they've talked to me,
they're like, yeah, I've never you know, I never had
that attraction to men, Like it was a very They
were very confident in their who they were and that
(18:59):
label meant something to them. And for me, I this
isn't something like I personally navigated my whole life, you know.
I think like when I look back at things, like
I always loved, like I loved Kate Wincelet and Leonardo
and Titanic, and I loved Joey and Pacy and um
Dawson screen, you know, but I always was just like oh,
(19:22):
and then people would talk about like girl crushes and
I'm like, yeah, I have those two, but I never
had like that, Like when I met Hayley. That was
the first time I had that specifically for a woman,
and it was it did, but it was It's so
fascinating because it was so it was so like magnetic
(19:45):
magnetic that I never questioned who she was or what,
you know. It was just like I fell in love
with this person and this someone's soul in their heart,
and I never had to like overthay that part. Really,
I'd never over I had to overthink that part until
I started thinking about coming out publicly because I thought
(20:08):
it would be a conversation and I think I hope
that one day people don't have to come out, Like
that's my wish for people, because it's it puts so
much pressure. And it's like if you come out and
you say you identify as is something, and then maybe
someone else comes into your life and it changes, there's
this then there's this other pressure and it's like sometimes
(20:30):
it's as simple as the age old saying love is love,
like it's not about any of that, and so I, um,
I that's how I feel too. And like I had
some people write me and they were like when did
you become gay? And I'm like, okay, it wasn't eloquently put,
but I get like people you know, who followed me
(20:52):
on the Bachelor and stuff, it's like, how does this
just happen? And it's just like how do you just
fall in love with someone? You can't explain it, It
just happens. Um. But it's good that you let yourself
follow those feelings. I think a lot of people are
I'm not that person. That's not me. I don't have that.
I think it's great that you were open to that.
(21:14):
And I think I mean, I was thirty when I'm
or I was nine when I met Haley, but I
was very confident in who I was and I wasn't
I mean thinking about navigating this in middle school or
high school or like being and not having the support.
I mean, I think that was a huge thing for me.
Was like I told all my friends and they were like, what, well, great,
(21:35):
like can't wait to meet her? You know, there was
never this like like even my friends who I was
expecting a little pushback from We're just like, we're so happy,
you're happy, you know, and not everyone gets that. And
I really, I like recognize how fortunate I am that
(21:58):
my coming out has been such a beautiful, positive, overwhelming
in the best way type of thing, because a lot
of people don't have that um reaction, and they live
in fear and they live wondering who's going to have
their back, and um, I just want people to know that,
(22:20):
like you'll be surprised, like when you find your people
that they love you. And it's so important to have
those types of like relationships around you because I never
once felt judged or unsupported or I never once felt
(22:42):
bad about my relationship. Crazy. It's like just thinking back
when everything first happened, you know what I mean, back
in the Brownwood apartment. We should talk about that, but
we're gonna take a break first, all right. We are back.
(23:15):
So Tanny and I are arguing because we have two
different stories of how I told her. And I know
I'm right because I remember these like so clearly. I
remember every conversation I had with everybody. I know I'm
right because I remember exactly where I was when you
told me. I was on your bed. I was on
(23:37):
your bed. We were cleaning your room. There's no way, yes, no,
there's no way, because what happened was I told Tanya
because you were like, oh, what did you do this weekend? Yeah,
and I was like, this is on the phone. Yeah,
So you weren't in my bed. No, No, you didn't
tell me that. You didn't talk about the kiss. Okay,
(23:59):
the kiss k on I was on your bed. Because
I will never forget my reaction, I was like, but
I told you I met her and then we went
to drink. Yeah, because you were trying to set her
up with your sister. In my mind, this was a
sister set up, not a Becca set up. I still
feel like I told you on the phone before the Okay,
So I and we'll get more into the details of
(24:22):
things when Haley comes on. But we went to UM
I would. I went to her album released party because
our friend Brittany kind of grew up with Haley and Newer,
and Haley invited her and was like invite whoever, like
come over, you know, come to the party. So Brittany
wrote me and she like, do you want to go
to this? And I was like, oh, my gosh, it's
so crazy. My sister's love her, Like, yeah, let's go.
(24:45):
And in my mind I thought, Okay, if this party sucks,
like we can go out after this is when I
was kind of like in my I was like kind
of party in a little bit. And so we go
to the party and Haley, my sisters ended up not
being able to come because they had work or something
the next day, and so are you okay? One of
(25:07):
them went no, he went no, she did. Okay. Now
I don't trust Tony's view because neither of my sisters
was there. No, I'm my promise. I'm positive. Yeah, Texter,
I think I I'm with Tanya on the bed one
and I'm with Becca on the party. I think, well, yeah,
(25:28):
so we we meet and um we met that night.
It was a Wednesday, and then everyone was supposed to
get drinks on a Friday. Everyone bailed and Haley was like,
you and I could get drinks, and I was like
this girl is like what's she trying to do? So
we went and had drinks and we just like really
hit it off. And I remember leaving that night and
(25:49):
being like that was different, you know, like I normally,
if I were to go get drinks with someone, like
after one drink or so or an hour, I'd be like, okay, thanks,
but one of your sisters was supposed to come to
get drinks. Yeah, it was a group of us that
were supposed to get Everybody end up bailing and you
were like. Haley was like you and I could get
a drink, and you were just like okay, yeah, and
(26:10):
then um, and so that night happened. We like closed
the bar down, and I remember going home being like, well,
you know, that was interesting. And then the next day
we all went out again and Haley came and met us,
and I'm like, do I want to say this for
when Haley comes on. I don't know. Well, she'll tell
her side, which I'm sure is different. Yes, yes, I
(26:32):
think keep going. And so then we went over to
Britnie's house and I had I was like I had
been drinking. It was like two am at this point,
and we went back to Bernie's house and everyone was
like walking up the stairs and um, that's so good.
Actually I pulled her back and I kissed her, and
she still says to the stage, She's like I never
(26:53):
would have made the first move, Like there's just no way.
I was like, there's no chance I would have made
the first move. So minute, wait a minute. I want
to know about your mindset leading into that, Like did
you just decide, like, because all we've gotten from was
that was interesting all the way? Do you planting one
on her? In between? There there was a lot of
shots of tequila and other what they say, drunken words
(27:18):
or sober thoughts. Yes, they do say that. Um, so
we kissed and then the next day I'm just like,
I'm just not giving details because I want but these
are your head details. So you just decided the hell
with it. You didn't think to yourself like, wow, I'm
having feelings for this person and I would like to
(27:40):
act on that. It was just impulsive. I knew after
we had drinks that I was having feelings. And then
when she came to meet us afterwards. Oh, we were
at the bar and we were like sitting on a
bench and I had she was like holding my hand
behind someone's back, like she had grabbed my hand, and
I was like, I looked at our friend Taylor Banks,
(28:00):
and I was like, she's holding my hand. Okay, I
just want to jump in. I was wrong, Um, your
sisters were not there. It was just you and Dean. Yeah, me,
Dean and Brittany. So I was wrong. Yeah. So there
was no thought in your head whether or not she
felt the same way you were. You were very confident
(28:21):
with this move. Oh yeah, I knew she was the
whole time. At the like when the night we met,
she was like, it is back into girls, and Brittany
was like no, but her sister is like, we were
like really pushing the utter up with my sister. Um.
So yeah, I had no. I was not at all
like questions like maybe she's gonna reject me. Um. And
(28:44):
so we went and then the next day I think
I told that when I saw you. No, it wasn't.
You didn't see me until the next week because she
left to go on tour and then she came back
that next week and you helped me clean the day
that she was coming over. Correct, I told you the
day after we kissed. Correct on the phone. No, No,
(29:05):
I don't trust your details. He's talking que her, So
don't trust Tanya. Anything she says is a fabricated lie.
I'm going back to the Becca side now because here's
the thing I vividly remember when I came to your
house to help you clean. Okay, maybe you told me
that like you had feelings for her or something, But
I remember specifically hearing about the kiss on your bed
(29:27):
because I was like my reaction was just like shocked.
I was like shook, My eyes didn't shut. But in
your story, that means she sat on that information for
a week before she told you. Yeah, that's not that
seems unlikely to me. Well, and like why would I
call her the next day and not talk about the kiss?
(29:47):
You know? Yeah, Like so I am told her and
she was like oh, she was like what And I
was like, I know, crazy. She was like wait what
It was a lot of like Tanya, you know, just
(30:08):
like processing, a lot of processing. Yeah. And so then
Hailey left for tour that next week, and we basically
were a long distance for the first year. I mean,
like we saw each other. I would fly out to
you know, different tour destinations, and I don't think we
went longer. I think the longest was the month she
went on her European tour. But we try to see
(30:30):
each other like every two weeks. But we I mean
from the day we met, we talked every single day NonStop,
like there was never like a oh, what is you know,
It's just like we knew and it was fast. It
was something immediately. It was never in that weird area
where you're not sure what And I've always lived in
the weird area, like I love the weird area kind
(30:52):
of because it's always like a little bit of like
a noncommitted yeah yeah, so um I it was is
not much of a and Haley is a communicator, so
there was never like a you know, she was like
what is this? You know, there was never that I
never had to have that hard conversation because we both
(31:12):
knew that we wanted to to do it. And of
course she's like, of course I meet someone right before
melting on tour and just be like surrounded by people
all the time, and now I'm I've fallen in love
with somebody. But yeah, it was quick. I remember I
was like doing a lot of research when you told
me about her, because I didn't really know much about it.
And I was like, you're we go on the deep
(31:33):
dive in the deep dive. Yeah, so so then so
it seems like when you're somebody like you who people know,
I don't want to use the celebrity word, But when
you're a known person, there's like three level three possibilities.
Like for the rest of us, it's like you're either
a public relationship or a private relationship where you have
private relationship public relationship where everyone in your world knows,
(31:56):
and then it's like out to the world. And that
that's why we've been doing for four years, right, because
you just felt like it was nobody's business. Is that
the feeling? Um yeah, I think I've been working so
hard on myself and like going to therapy and navigating
you know, different not so much that part of my life.
(32:16):
That that part of my life. I've always just kind
of been like we fell in love and we have
had like the most like beautiful, healthy, like growth induced relationship.
You know, it's always been it's like working and doing
the work to be in the relationship and like show
up the best that we can. Um. But different parts
(32:39):
of my life of like learning how to communicate and
not shutting down and like tearing down the walls and
like it's been a lot of work and I've had
to like really it's been very emotional and hard because
it's been a lot of like self reflection and confrontation
with myself and things that I've done my whole life
that have worked out until I was with someone who
(33:01):
kind of called me out on it or like challenge me.
And um, I think for those four years, I wanted
to make sure that I felt safe in that decision
to share something so special and personal to me with
people who are critics. You know. Obviously there's so many
(33:23):
people who are just supporters and are rooting me on,
but there's also critics. You know, there's always going to
be critics, and um, whether it's a relationship or whatever.
My sister the other day was like, I was scouring
the comments like ready to fight people, and I was like,
you can't do that, and she was like, yeah, I
realized people like criticize you for putting too much creamer
in your coffee, so there's always gonna be There's always
(33:46):
going to be something. And I was like, that's honestly
such a I mean, it's funny, but it's such a
good point of like critics or critics, and they're going
to find anything to be critical about. There's also something
so like special about how patient and Haley has been
with you, you know, because I think obviously you know,
she has been loud and proud, and she's been you know, vocal,
(34:10):
but that you know, this is all it was all
new for you, you know, like this you were navigating
all this for the first time. And I feel like
she extended a lot of like patience and grace and
love towards you in those things, in those areas, because
I think obviously the way your relationship was wasn't ideal
for her in the beginning, you know, like she I'm
sure she wanted to splatter you all over her social media,
(34:30):
and I feel like there's so much beauty in that too.
Oh one thousand percent. I mean, Haley, I we have
like the most like like the sweetest talks where we're
I mean, she's just so she I have never doubted
her love for me, and it's I mean obviously in
(34:51):
a way of like she's in love with me, but
like the like loving someone and caring for someone and
like doing what's best for them when they need it.
Like and I would always explain to her, She's like,
you're gonna get so much support, Like any whenever you
come out publicly, You're gonna get so much support. And
I'm like, well, it's different for you. Like my following
comes from like a really conservative like uh, like a
(35:13):
lot of religious, like a different background than your followers.
Like you've been celebrated for who you are, and I'm
it's not going to be that way for me. And
she was always like, it's totally on your time. And
I think at a certain point, I don't know when
the shift happened, but I think she got comfortable with
it being like hours too and so then I was like, oh, no,
are we were We never gonna be like um, but
(35:38):
she's just been amazing, like even you know, just like
last night and she was like, I'm so proud of you,
and I love you more than more now than I
didn't even know I could love you more, and I
love you more. I'm just like so proud. So she's
the best and and I have just been so lucky
(36:02):
to be with someone who has put my my needs
above hers and specifically this area. And I mean, she's amazing.
She is who she is, and you know, she's never
wavered from that, and I've always admired that because she's
very much like this is who I am. If you
(36:22):
like it, great, and if you don't like, that's okay,
And I'm obviously the opposite. I've been like a people
pleaser my whole life, and I'm like, I need everybody
to like me, and so I've really feel like I
just admire her so much for that. I do too,
because I feel like she and I are similar in
a lot of ways. But I get annoyed if I'm
(36:45):
not on your like Instagram feed for a while, and
if our dating for four years, I would be like,
where the f is my photo? Where am I at here?
I can't wait for my reels? And also people posted
did you see video of of Robbie hug It made
me so emotional. I'm trying to track down the person.
(37:07):
So somebody posted this videos guitar best friend Larry, who's
her guitar. I think I dammed him because everybody's sending
me this video and they're like, is that red star
hugging Becca? And I was like, that is so? I
think they were. He was just like filming the crowd
at the moment, and you can see in like the
bottom left corner it was when so he showed up alot.
He came after me because he had a dinner with
(37:28):
his um college friends in town or something. So he
met me. I was there with my girlfriend's Sophie and Paulina,
and he the minute he got there, he's like, I
just want to see Becca, and so he you see
this video and it's like the they captured the exact
moment that he showed up and he grabs Becca's like shoulder,
He like that beautiful little like snuggy little thing like
I'm here. I like, I love you to support you,
(37:49):
and like the hug and he like whispered something in
your ear. You guys, it was just like such a
beautiful video. It made me so emotional. It was it
made me emotional too, because I mean when he showed up,
I mean, I have such a like my friend's boyfriends
have been so warm and kind and obviously they love me,
but they love Haley. And it's been like the most
(38:11):
beautiful thing to watch. You know, these men who grew
up in very like traditional like men like hetero world right,
just like embrace our relationship and love and like support
us so much and so curious about it. He's always
been so curious, Like he's always asking Becca these like
uncomfortable questions and I wants to know, you know, like
(38:33):
he really wants to know. I can't remember. I don't
know what question he asked. But the first time we
the four of us met like and spent time together,
Haley and I laughed and I was like, I have
not been asking these questions maybe ever, But that's Robbie.
He's curious and he's Um. I I loved that something
(38:54):
that he caught that moment because it meant so much
too to me, Like is you know him him even
showing up after his dinner with his friends. So yeah,
I don't know. We men can evolve. That's a good
lesson to know out there. Men can evolve. Men, Cannibal,
(39:16):
That's why. You know, Like sometimes like there's like man
bashing that's happening, and I'm like, sure, Like I think
there's in any group of people. I think there are
bad eggs, women, men, everything. Yeah, I have been surrounded
by so many good men that I don't have like
(39:41):
like even I think last week on the podcast, you
are like men or whatever, and I was like, no,
I don't want to bash men like there are some
I'm like, I'm surrounded by so many good men, so
I um, I have watched men be like the best
and show up and even you know, it's interesting. At
JoJo's wedding, Haley came and uh, a lot of those
(40:04):
guys were like Southern guys, you know, Southern like national guys,
and you know, you think, like we live in such
a bubble in l A. And you expect everyone's like
how have you not? You know, you expect everyone to
have like relationships or friendships with people in same sex relationships,
but not everyone is. And so it was cool though
(40:24):
to see everyone, especially people who know me from the
Bachelor and like haven't known about my relationship status or
cared um be so welcoming and warm and like supportive,
just like right off the bat, and my whole like
four years of dating Haley has been like, Hi, this
is my girlfriend, Haley. And then like five minutes later
(40:46):
the person's like, so are you dating anybody? And I'm like, yeah, girlfriend,
Like this is my girlfriend romantically, you know, like I've
I've had to do that my whole relationship because and
not I've never been offended by it. I just think
it's funny because it's like, you know, I'm making I
make an effort to be like my girlfriend and then
(41:06):
they're like, so, who are you dating any lucky guy
right totally like no, this chick over here. I'm so
glad that that we know the guy. I'm going to
get that video because it literally I like cried when
I saw Yeah, I'll get it from her something. I
was seeing your best friend and your boyfriend and like
a very tender moment that was just like like I'm done,
(41:29):
So yeah, I don't know. I mean, have I missed anything?
I don't know. So the whole point what Tony was
talking about when she says she heard it on the
bed that like the next week, Hayley came back for
a break on tour and she had a day off
in my room, like it's always messy, but it was
I looked like in a smaller apartment and it was
like messy. It looks like it looked like the Tasmanian
(41:52):
Devil ran through and just like went to my closet
and drawers and just like through everything and you couldn't
even step on your floor without stepping on clothes, like it,
let's not make this about my personal issues. So um,
I was like, there's no way she can come over
and see this, like you, this is unacceptable. You gotta
clean this up. So so Tanya came over and helped
(42:14):
me for like all day, like basically clean my house.
So then Haley comes over and she's like, oh my god,
like this is a dream. You're so clean, and I
was like, yeah, my doing. I'm so organized. See how
the shelf is color coordinated? I yeah, she knows now
(42:37):
it's not who I am, so um yeah. So that
was great. And then I think like the first person
who found out outside of my family and friends in
a weird way I think was Taylor Swift because I
flew out for Haley, went on stage with her and
(43:00):
Austin and after the show, Um, I got to meet
Taylor and in her dressing room and she's like, you know,
it's like when I was thinking about it, I was,
I think that was the first person who knew it's
a hell of a blessing for the relationship. She Swift,
(43:20):
and she was probably just like okay, no, she was,
Yeah she was. It felt like talking to a friend.
Did she know you from The Bachelor? I don't think so. No.
I think she's like, I mean she's like watched the show.
I was like, I think she mentioned like Paradise or something,
but I don't know. If she like recognizing Um, but
(43:42):
she was great. But I thought that was a really
cool thing because obviously Taylor Swift stand forever. It always
comes back to Taylor sometimes always comes back to Taylor. UM.
So if you okay, okay, good quick if you had
to describe how your weekend felt in the Taylor Swift song,
oh h normally she's so good, I know, but that's
(44:06):
about herself. A little tremble the first one that came
to my mind, Well, two of them. I have one too,
what wile this dreams? Oh no, but that's a good
one too, basically that N nine album, because I was
going to say, actually out of the Woods, oh interesting
and wow, good ones better than while this dreams, Well,
(44:32):
we're thrilled for you. Do you feel like do you
just feel like free? Yeah? I really do. I feel
out like that whole song like really encompasses me, my
experience in my relationship. So I think my favorite thing
(45:02):
about the whole thing, honestly, is that you're not coming
out to the world saying I'm a lesbian. You're coming
out to the world. You're saying I am in love
with Haley. Because it shouldn't be about labels. It should
be about love, and that's what it's always should be about.
I think so many people look at it it's black
and white, it's one or the other, and it's just not.
It's just love, that's all it is. And when you
have those feelings, you shouldn't fight them. I agree, and
(45:24):
I've That's what I've always said. Is like, for me,
it was never about my label, but I I think
a lot of people having the label and being able
to name what it is that they've experienced has been
like is really important for some people. That just wasn't
my experience. And so that is like exactly what I'm saying.
It's not like this is my label, this is my sexuality.
It's more like, hey, I'm in love and I'm excited
(45:48):
to share with you. You're right. I feel like sometimes
labels help people feel like, Yeah, like when I say
vagina tingles, I got the vagina tingles, Like there's no
word for that, right, simply the vagina. Figure out a
word for that. I've used that a lot. Yeah, so
(46:11):
very good comparison, Tanya, Yeah, that was a little choppy.
So yeah, I've just I just the vagina tingles after
your first kiss yeah. I mean I think when you
have a good first kiss with anybody, you is no
(46:32):
new new when you have a good first kiss. I've
had lots of good first kisses, like sure, but I've
had the vagina tingles once. You didn't. I said that
multiple times. Unless you're all the tape. Oh well, now
we don't trust you. Speaking of rolling the tape, I
would like to shout out a scrubber, excuse me, I
have some tape to roll myself. Actually, once you're done
(46:52):
with this, okay, I had a scrubber reach out to
me over the weekend. Oh my god, it's so good,
and basically called Becca and Mark out from a past
from a past podcast, saying that like at one, oh,
here we go. This podcast episode was titled significant other
Q and A. So I'm guessing this is when uh
(47:13):
we had our significant others fill in the questions at
Mark Center and they time stamped it. So is that
minute sixty eight Becka and Mark both agreeing with you
that Red Star made the first move, and then this
past week they claimed you made the first move. Do
what you will with this information, But if I were you,
I'd call them out. Thank you. Danny Small Okay, I
don't know what she's talking about because you made the
(47:35):
first and actually it's funny. I have an authority I
can go to on this. Her name is Tanya rad
Eastern Roll the tape. Please, who made the first move?
Why can't you just look at photos and like them
like you mentally, mentally, just like it mentally. Don't double tag, raison,
(47:58):
double tap if you're especially in those situations like if
it's just a friend or whatever, and you're like liking
their photos, but if you like those photos, it's because
you want that person to maybe notice you totally. That
like liking a photo is essentially like dropping a handkerchief. Yeah, yes,
well put, Tania, well put, and I'm glad you agree
(48:19):
with us. There was zero, very very deeply. I want
to thank Kayla Ridley from Charlotte, North Carolina. That was
an episode forty two on July seven. That's how far
back Kayla went for that one. There. It is like
the photo is dropping a handkerchief. To be fair, I
(48:42):
was talking about Instagram. Uh not in the app. More
of a first move in a dating app than it
is on Instagram. Yeah, that was Yeah, I honestly think
I was specifically on a dating app. That's that's the
nail in the coffin right there on not a conversation.
(49:03):
You would like to thank Danny Small for sending that
in for me. Well, I'd like to hear that tape
because I don't think I would have ever said that.
I'm gonna go listen. I'll listen to it and I'll
bring my bottle next week. Yeah, fair enough, All right,
we do have so much more to talk about what
we're out of time, but we are going to come
back for a Thursday episode and cover all that with hot,
with with respect. Oh no, that's not what I'm trying
(49:25):
to say. With um, I don't know what I'm trying
to say, but I don't think it's right that this
whole podcast we just want to hear from you, your story,
so the other stuff gets bumped Thursday. Do you know
what I'm trying to I don't know what you're trying
to say. What's gonna reason? That's what I'm trying to say.
(49:47):
Good job? Oh that's hard. Alright on that tired, exhausted note,
We will see you on Thursday for more chat. Thank
you all so much. I from the bottom of my heart,
I will never be able to form. The scrubbers were awesome.
How the scrubbers are Yeah, just just next level, next level.
(50:11):
They well that there's a reason that was my first
place I stopped when the video came out. So for sure, UM,
I love you all. I hope you have a great
week and we'll be back Thursday. By
Scrubbing In with Beccat Tilly and Tanya Ren and I
Heart Radio podcast. Hello everybody, we are scrubbing in, scrubbing
in on a Monday. I would just also like to
thank Becca Tilly. She brought me um some nourishment in
the form of caffeine this morning that I really needed
and she put her open bottle of drink down on
(00:23):
the floor. So it's nowhere near to any any of
our chords and I'm merch so just shout out to Becca.
But oh my gosh, we have so much to get
into today, so much. There's a lot. I mean, first
of all, oh my, I mean, I would I n
(00:43):
g e for the photos this weekend. They were you
couldn't escape them if you wanted to, So that I mean,
we have to just dive in. Also, like the next
big thing would be Harry's out Harry's house. Yeah, oh
my gosh, come on, come on, come on. There's only
one thing people want to hear us talk about. The
grays Anatomy finale coming up on Thursday. It's gonna be great.
(01:05):
April's back. That's the topic people want to hear about.
Market was really we were going on a good, good
good joke there, and then you threw that one in.
We haven't even I haven't even watched in like three
months far gone. I feel like such a chump when
I'm watching that jow. I'm like, I'm the last one left.
(01:27):
And by the time i catch up, because I'm starting
from scratch with Red Star season one, so it's gonna
be a minute before I catch back. Jackson and April
are coming back this Thursday, so I'll be enjoying that
while you two are off in La la lad. I tried.
I tried to sit down and watch recently, and I
just was like instantly. So now, so I'm I have
(01:48):
made the effort, actually multiple times to get back in
and I just haven't. So so anyway, so we're going
to get to most of those things, minus marks, suggestion, whatever.
But before we do, there's a lot to cover. So
(02:09):
I'm just gonna let Becca take it from here. Um,
I mean, where does one begin? Where does one begin?
I was thinking about it this morning and I was like,
I don't even know where to start the conversation. I mean,
if you were, I guess. On social media. This weekend, um,
there was a reveal of in the form of Haley Kiyoko,
(02:38):
And it's so weird because like the four like we've
all it's been four years of this, like we know.
It's like it's just such a I don't know how
to explain that. I want to get into your brain.
It's it's there's a lot, but it's it was so weird.
Like obviously we knew the video was happening, and that
was going to at least cause talk and speculation, and
(03:02):
I mean, in my mind, I thought, how do we
do this reveal in the video and then not actually
reveal a relationship? You know, it only made sense to
do to do it together, and so the video wasn't
planned as part of the reveal. So the video was
kind of like we were talking about the video and
it's always been a joke, and Haley said she's down
(03:23):
to come on the podcast. So I do want to
save something for like her, to have her take on things.
I don't want to just like go and reveal all
of like the conversations, because I'd like to hear her side,
how like how she saw it. Um, but we were
talking about the video and UM, I've always said I'll
(03:44):
go public. We can go public if I can be
in one of your videos, just like be the video girl,
and I'm not an actress, and she always hires like actress,
like legit actresses, and so she was always like, okayite
when you lost the role or like you lost the part,
And this was supposed to be a video before Yeah,
her Chance video. I had really like tried to get
(04:06):
that role because it was such a cute video, and
luckily she gave it to a legit actress, Alexander Ship,
and she did a great job. And Haley and I
probably would have broken up because she's the director on
her all her videos and she probably would have like
screamed at me the whole time. Um. But so then
we were talking about it, and then you know, I
was kind of saying, like I want to be like
(04:26):
the drunk, crying girl, and so that was originally kind
of where we were, and she's like, if that's what
you want to be, like you can do it. I
was like I never got to be that girl in
The Bachelor. I mean I didn't get to like be
the drama. And then we were talking about it and
she's like, I think we hire again and the actress
(04:48):
got the boot again, and she's like, but what if
you showed up at the end like you did on
the Ben season and you come out of the limo
as like a surprise, And I was like, that's cool,
that's fun. I mean I've already gone it. No, it's
so tasteful and perfect and like, oh, that's so good.
So it ended up being that, Um, we had just
(05:10):
gone to Cabo for our friends are from Brittany's birthday
and I got I was like so sick when I
came back. So when we were filming the video, I
was like not feeling well. I was just like, oh,
you know. It was one of those days where I
was like I don't like how I look blah blah blah.
But um, my sister Caroline styled the whole video, so
she was on set and it was just all the
girls were amazing, Like they were so fun and it
(05:32):
actually felt like the set of The Bachelor, like they
were so yeah, they were so in character and like
committed to their like the role of like being on
the show, and um, it was really fun. But we
never just you know, it was never this like okay,
when the videos revealed your relationships are built, right, it
(05:52):
was like kind of cheeky. It was kind of like
people have already been talking for a long time, let's
give a nod to my past of being on the
Bachelor and to our relationship. And I just was kind
of like, I think I'm read like I think i'm
I think it's time. You know, I'm for four years,
have you know it's been our relationship, But I've never
(06:15):
I was telling someone the other day like Haley and
I never were secret, Like we were very much ourselves.
We held hands in public, we kiss, I entered if
I met someone. I mean, I'm sure a lot of
the scrubbers that have met. If I was with Haley,
I introduced her, this is my girlfriend, Haley. I never
was like, this is my friend or this is my
best friend. You know, like I really made an effort
(06:36):
to make sure that there was that distinction between private
and secret. And I remember getting like d M s
and people being like, why is she keeping this a secret?
And I was like, there's such this weird, like warped
like perception of privacy via social media because we're so
expected to share everything, um, and so you know, as
(07:00):
time was getting closer, I was like, I think him right,
I mean it feels like time. And I posted the video,
the real video of us, and um, I posted it
and then I kind of put my phone down and
I looked at Haley and I was like, oh my gosh,
like it's out there, like it's not just ours anymore,
and she's like it is hours. Like we still can
(07:22):
choose like what we share whatever, but you know, people
are going to be so supportive, and um, I was
just not prepared for the support at all. Like, first
of all, the thing that was obviously I've known about
your relationship, so I was like watching it all unfold
on social media and like all these posts and stuff
(07:44):
and so like right when the music video came out,
it was like Beck Attilly makes shocking surprise, you know,
guest appearance and Haley Kyoko's video and then like three
hours later it's you know, Beck and Haley Kyoko confirmed
their relationship with a kiss on stage, and then the
next day it was like Becca has this. It was
just like the constant um updates on your on your
(08:05):
relationship or something that you were posting or people were seeing,
and it was like very from an outsider seeing it all,
I can't imagine if it was me so I imagine
I want to hear your reaction to just like seeing
it all unfold. But it was very crazy seeing the
like of it all. Yeah, it was like every couple
hours there was a different like side to it. So
(08:26):
I realized. Actually, So the video came out Thursday at
nine pm and then we had a party at this bar,
and um, so we left for the bar like right
as the video came out, So I didn't even have
time to like get on social media yet. Like I
actually went straight to the scrubbing in Facebook group and
(08:47):
I was just like hi, and that's all I posted.
I gotta get back in I do, um Facebook help me.
And then we went to the bar and it was
like insanity, Like it was so crowded. I was so sober,
Like I was like, my brain is just like fully
overwhelmed right now. And um, Luckily I saw Tania, Paulina
(09:08):
and Sophia like right when we got on the car,
and I was like, oh my god, being god, y'all
are here, and and then Haley was like giving a
speech like thanking everyone for being there, and I'm like filming.
I'm like happy to be in the cute. No, it
was the cutest thing, and I saw you just like
you were around and nobody that you knew, like you
were like out in the crowd with all of her
fans filming Haley's speech, like you like with the biggest
(09:31):
smile on your face. Total Chris Jenner. I filmed it.
It was just the cutest thing ever. I should put
the whole thing in this Facebook group when I get
back in because it was just like proud Chris Jenner.
Moment is so sweet. And and then she goes like,
where's Becca. Becca came here? And I was like no,
Like I had no idea she was going to bring
me on stage and I was like, oh no. In
(09:52):
those videos, I look so uncomfortable, like you can tell.
I was just like, you not prepared for that. And
after that moment, because she you know, she was here's
the final rows, was like okay, like um, but and
then she kissed me, and of course like everyone's I
just see everyone's phone going crazy, and I'm like, you know,
I had a moment after that where I realized I
don't like a ton of direct attention on me, Like
(10:15):
I don't like a lot of like I like kind
of I enjoyed being there filming her, which is great
because she's a performer and she thrives on eyes on
her um. And so then we went back home and
like some people came over. We had pizza and stuff
and then went to bed, and so I just it
(10:35):
was kind of almost like the best distraction, you know,
the party, because it wasn't like I was just sitting
on my phone like watching because I did not know
how it was going to go. I knew that I had,
like I knew I had a big group of people
that had my back and that we're going to support
me and love me and encourage me and us in
our relationship, and people who have championed our relationship since
(10:58):
day one, even people like she went to Ben's wedding
with me, and like I introduced her to so many
people from the Bachelor world and just people from different
parts of my life, and everyone was so warm and
kind to her that I knew, like even people are
not like super close with they would still be supportive,
you know. But it was like in the Scrubbers. Of course,
I knew like the majority of the Scrubbers were going
(11:19):
to be there, but there was this other part of
me that had been fearing the reaction of people. First
for four years, like there was that do I want
to let that negativity into our relationship? And I when
I made the decision to go public with it, I thought,
(11:40):
I have this army of people who have my back
no matter what, and like, the people that I care
about most in the world are are our supporters and
they love us, and um, and so I was prepared
for anything and everything. I was not prepared for the
amount of love and support that we got, Like I
(12:02):
just could have never I could have never predicted. I
made a pretty far before I started crying. I cried
all day on Friday. So but um, you know, I
think there was a lot of emotion and I've always
(12:24):
felt your support and love and um, Hayley has really
you know, made me feel brave. And she was always
like people are gonna love you. People love you, and
they want to see you happy. And I just I'm
so thankful for you guys. And this podcast, like making sure,
(12:46):
like the pronoun thing was so stressed, like every time
I would have to reformulate sentences in my head before
I said, I'm like, oh God, how am I gonna
to do this? You know? And then even still y'all
looked out for me, and um, you know, if we
were if we were like going to like doing something
(13:09):
and it slipped out fast and be like oh you know,
And I just I think that was um like a
moment where someone actually come into this in the Facebook group.
They were like how amazing that so many people in
their life new and this never got out. And I
(13:29):
was like the level of like respect that that takes
for people to keep something like that to themselves and
not out us was pretty incredible, like looking at it
because like a lot of people knew. It's not like
it was like yeah, um so, I just I could
(13:54):
have never prepared myself. And that morning, actually Hayley had
had all my close friends right like a hare to
me or a letter to me. I started the day.
I mean I was like sobbing because I was like
I was not prepared for this, and she was like,
I just wanted you to be like covered in love today.
And I felt so at peace all day, Like I
(14:14):
never once felt anxious like towards like when the release
is happening. Really, when I got to the crowded bar,
I got anxious, but I was like from the crowd honestly,
I was like what But I never you know, I
never had this like what am I doing? Like this
is where I'm not doing it? Something's wrong? You know.
I just felt so loved and at peace and um,
(14:38):
so it was just it was I couldn't have asked
or predicted anything better as far as just that day
and how I felt, and um, we both felt it.
So I was really grateful. You deserve it. And I think, um,
you know, for it's interesting because I think some people
(15:01):
listening might not understand because it's just like you love
who you love and that's it, and you know what
I mean, Like it's not a big deal. But I
think when you, you know, if you kind of really
look at you know, if you're you've been told that
something's wrong or you're doing something wrong, and you feel
that for so many years to be free and to
feel the love and support that you deserve and that
(15:23):
like everybody deserves, you know, it's just like I was
really overwhelmed and emotional for you two over the weekend
because like, you deserve nothing less than this. And I
hope you didn't see one negative comment because I don't
think I did. But I kind of like I purposely
like didn't go searching too far, but you know, I
(15:45):
think I and I do think. I actually watched this
video the day of and Hayley's sister actually sent it
to me, and it's this you would love it. It's
these caterpillars talking to a butterfly, and the butter the
caterpillars are like you've changed, like you're not like us,
and the butterflies like I'm me, and then you know,
(16:07):
the butterfly goes to like hug the caterpillars, and um,
it's like in your own the butterflies like in your
own way, thanks for caring, but like I'm gonna go
beat me, you know. And I thought, you know, people
who have or people who have questions or they're confused,
like I think they're just sometimes it's their own way
(16:30):
of caring and it's not always perfect. It's not always
how you want it to go. But sometimes people just
car and they don't know how to like formulate it
or express it in the right way. But um, there
were so many people in the Facebook group who and
people who message me saying that they've you know, been
(16:53):
going through the same thing and navigating their sexuality and
it's so it's so much bigger than me that that
was also a very humbling thing of like I've I've
thought so much about like how is this going to
affect me? How's it going to affect my relationship? And
it's the whole thing was so much bigger than me.
Like I got messages from people saying they had a
(17:15):
family friend who's daughter was navigating or just came out
to them and my video gave them a different perspective
and I was like, oh, yeah, like this isn't just
about me personally. Yeah. Well, And I think also something
that I feel like over the years, when you know,
friend friends of mine or whatever, they met you and
(17:36):
they're like, oh, she has a girlfriend. I didn't know
she was a lesbian, and I'm like, she's not, you know,
she just has a girlfriend. Like I don't know how
to tell you. You know, it's just like everybody's quick
to or like you have to be a certain thing,
and it's just like, no, I love this woman, you know,
like I've never felt like this before and I'm happy
(17:56):
and that's it. And I think that was also a
thing for me was like when I met Haley and
we got into relationship. Like I didn't even think about
having to like label myself for like my sexuality or
what that meant because we fell in love so fast
that it was just kind of like I was like,
by the way, not for this podcast, but maybe next week.
(18:18):
I wanted I wanted to tell the story of like
how it happened. Well, that's why I definitely want to
do that with Haley. Yeah, but I will talk about
your reaction. Um, And like you know, there there was
an leading up to this point. I was like, oh
(18:38):
my gosh, I'm gonna have to address like my sexuality,
my label. And I was like, I've never connected with that,
and I think my story is different from other people,
Like even you know, my sisters when they've talked to me,
they're like, yeah, I've never you know, I never had
that attraction to men, Like it was a very They
were very confident in their who they were and that
(18:59):
label meant something to them. And for me, I this
isn't something like I personally navigated my whole life, you know.
I think like when I look back at things, like
I always loved, like I loved Kate Wincelet and Leonardo
and Titanic, and I loved Joey and Pacy and um
Dawson screen, you know, but I always was just like oh,
(19:22):
and then people would talk about like girl crushes and
I'm like, yeah, I have those two, but I never
had like that, Like when I met Hayley. That was
the first time I had that specifically for a woman,
and it was it did, but it was It's so
fascinating because it was so it was so like magnetic
(19:45):
magnetic that I never questioned who she was or what,
you know. It was just like I fell in love
with this person and this someone's soul in their heart,
and I never had to like overthay that part. Really,
I'd never over I had to overthink that part until
I started thinking about coming out publicly because I thought
(20:08):
it would be a conversation and I think I hope
that one day people don't have to come out, Like
that's my wish for people, because it's it puts so
much pressure. And it's like if you come out and
you say you identify as is something, and then maybe
someone else comes into your life and it changes, there's
this then there's this other pressure and it's like sometimes
(20:30):
it's as simple as the age old saying love is love,
like it's not about any of that, and so I, um,
I that's how I feel too. And like I had
some people write me and they were like when did
you become gay? And I'm like, okay, it wasn't eloquently put,
but I get like people you know, who followed me
(20:52):
on the Bachelor and stuff, it's like, how does this
just happen? And it's just like how do you just
fall in love with someone? You can't explain it, It
just happens. Um. But it's good that you let yourself
follow those feelings. I think a lot of people are
I'm not that person. That's not me. I don't have that.
I think it's great that you were open to that.
(21:14):
And I think I mean, I was thirty when I'm
or I was nine when I met Haley, but I
was very confident in who I was and I wasn't
I mean thinking about navigating this in middle school or
high school or like being and not having the support.
I mean, I think that was a huge thing for me.
Was like I told all my friends and they were like, what, well, great,
(21:35):
like can't wait to meet her? You know, there was
never this like like even my friends who I was
expecting a little pushback from We're just like, we're so happy,
you're happy, you know, and not everyone gets that. And
I really, I like recognize how fortunate I am that
(21:58):
my coming out has been such a beautiful, positive, overwhelming
in the best way type of thing, because a lot
of people don't have that um reaction, and they live
in fear and they live wondering who's going to have
their back, and um, I just want people to know that,
(22:20):
like you'll be surprised, like when you find your people
that they love you. And it's so important to have
those types of like relationships around you because I never
once felt judged or unsupported or I never once felt
(22:42):
bad about my relationship. Crazy. It's like just thinking back
when everything first happened, you know what I mean, back
in the Brownwood apartment. We should talk about that, but
we're gonna take a break first, all right. We are back.
(23:15):
So Tanny and I are arguing because we have two
different stories of how I told her. And I know
I'm right because I remember these like so clearly. I
remember every conversation I had with everybody. I know I'm
right because I remember exactly where I was when you
told me. I was on your bed. I was on
(23:37):
your bed. We were cleaning your room. There's no way, yes, no,
there's no way, because what happened was I told Tanya
because you were like, oh, what did you do this weekend? Yeah,
and I was like, this is on the phone. Yeah,
So you weren't in my bed. No, No, you didn't
tell me that. You didn't talk about the kiss. Okay,
(23:59):
the kiss k on I was on your bed. Because
I will never forget my reaction, I was like, but
I told you I met her and then we went
to drink. Yeah, because you were trying to set her
up with your sister. In my mind, this was a
sister set up, not a Becca set up. I still
feel like I told you on the phone before the Okay,
So I and we'll get more into the details of
(24:22):
things when Haley comes on. But we went to UM
I would. I went to her album released party because
our friend Brittany kind of grew up with Haley and Newer,
and Haley invited her and was like invite whoever, like
come over, you know, come to the party. So Brittany
wrote me and she like, do you want to go
to this? And I was like, oh, my gosh, it's
so crazy. My sister's love her, Like, yeah, let's go.
(24:45):
And in my mind I thought, Okay, if this party sucks,
like we can go out after this is when I
was kind of like in my I was like kind
of party in a little bit. And so we go
to the party and Haley, my sisters ended up not
being able to come because they had work or something
the next day, and so are you okay? One of
(25:07):
them went no, he went no, she did. Okay. Now
I don't trust Tony's view because neither of my sisters
was there. No, I'm my promise. I'm positive. Yeah, Texter,
I think I I'm with Tanya on the bed one
and I'm with Becca on the party. I think, well, yeah,
(25:28):
so we we meet and um we met that night.
It was a Wednesday, and then everyone was supposed to
get drinks on a Friday. Everyone bailed and Haley was like,
you and I could get drinks, and I was like
this girl is like what's she trying to do? So
we went and had drinks and we just like really
hit it off. And I remember leaving that night and
(25:49):
being like that was different, you know, like I normally,
if I were to go get drinks with someone, like
after one drink or so or an hour, I'd be like, okay, thanks,
but one of your sisters was supposed to come to
get drinks. Yeah, it was a group of us that
were supposed to get Everybody end up bailing and you
were like. Haley was like you and I could get
a drink, and you were just like okay, yeah, and
(26:10):
then um, and so that night happened. We like closed
the bar down, and I remember going home being like, well,
you know, that was interesting. And then the next day
we all went out again and Haley came and met us,
and I'm like, do I want to say this for
when Haley comes on. I don't know. Well, she'll tell
her side, which I'm sure is different. Yes, yes, I
(26:32):
think keep going. And so then we went over to
Britnie's house and I had I was like I had
been drinking. It was like two am at this point,
and we went back to Bernie's house and everyone was
like walking up the stairs and um, that's so good.
Actually I pulled her back and I kissed her, and
she still says to the stage, She's like I never
(26:53):
would have made the first move, Like there's just no way.
I was like, there's no chance I would have made
the first move. So minute, wait a minute. I want
to know about your mindset leading into that, Like did
you just decide, like, because all we've gotten from was
that was interesting all the way? Do you planting one
on her? In between? There there was a lot of
shots of tequila and other what they say, drunken words
(27:18):
or sober thoughts. Yes, they do say that. Um, so
we kissed and then the next day I'm just like,
I'm just not giving details because I want but these
are your head details. So you just decided the hell
with it. You didn't think to yourself like, wow, I'm
having feelings for this person and I would like to
(27:40):
act on that. It was just impulsive. I knew after
we had drinks that I was having feelings. And then
when she came to meet us afterwards. Oh, we were
at the bar and we were like sitting on a
bench and I had she was like holding my hand
behind someone's back, like she had grabbed my hand, and
I was like, I looked at our friend Taylor Banks,
(28:00):
and I was like, she's holding my hand. Okay, I
just want to jump in. I was wrong, Um, your
sisters were not there. It was just you and Dean. Yeah, me,
Dean and Brittany. So I was wrong. Yeah. So there
was no thought in your head whether or not she
felt the same way you were. You were very confident
(28:21):
with this move. Oh yeah, I knew she was the
whole time. At the like when the night we met,
she was like, it is back into girls, and Brittany
was like no, but her sister is like, we were
like really pushing the utter up with my sister. Um.
So yeah, I had no. I was not at all
like questions like maybe she's gonna reject me. Um. And
(28:44):
so we went and then the next day I think
I told that when I saw you. No, it wasn't.
You didn't see me until the next week because she
left to go on tour and then she came back
that next week and you helped me clean the day
that she was coming over. Correct, I told you the
day after we kissed. Correct on the phone. No, No,
(29:05):
I don't trust your details. He's talking que her, So
don't trust Tanya. Anything she says is a fabricated lie.
I'm going back to the Becca side now because here's
the thing I vividly remember when I came to your
house to help you clean. Okay, maybe you told me
that like you had feelings for her or something, But
I remember specifically hearing about the kiss on your bed
(29:27):
because I was like my reaction was just like shocked.
I was like shook, My eyes didn't shut. But in
your story, that means she sat on that information for
a week before she told you. Yeah, that's not that
seems unlikely to me. Well, and like why would I
call her the next day and not talk about the kiss?
(29:47):
You know? Yeah, Like so I am told her and
she was like oh, she was like what And I
was like, I know, crazy. She was like wait what
It was a lot of like Tanya, you know, just
(30:08):
like processing, a lot of processing. Yeah. And so then
Hailey left for tour that next week, and we basically
were a long distance for the first year. I mean,
like we saw each other. I would fly out to
you know, different tour destinations, and I don't think we
went longer. I think the longest was the month she
went on her European tour. But we try to see
(30:30):
each other like every two weeks. But we I mean
from the day we met, we talked every single day NonStop,
like there was never like a oh, what is you know,
It's just like we knew and it was fast. It
was something immediately. It was never in that weird area
where you're not sure what And I've always lived in
the weird area, like I love the weird area kind
(30:52):
of because it's always like a little bit of like
a noncommitted yeah yeah, so um I it was is
not much of a and Haley is a communicator, so
there was never like a you know, she was like
what is this? You know, there was never that I
never had to have that hard conversation because we both
(31:12):
knew that we wanted to to do it. And of
course she's like, of course I meet someone right before
melting on tour and just be like surrounded by people
all the time, and now I'm I've fallen in love
with somebody. But yeah, it was quick. I remember I
was like doing a lot of research when you told
me about her, because I didn't really know much about it.
And I was like, you're we go on the deep
(31:33):
dive in the deep dive. Yeah, so so then so
it seems like when you're somebody like you who people know,
I don't want to use the celebrity word, But when
you're a known person, there's like three level three possibilities.
Like for the rest of us, it's like you're either
a public relationship or a private relationship where you have
private relationship public relationship where everyone in your world knows,
(31:56):
and then it's like out to the world. And that
that's why we've been doing for four years, right, because
you just felt like it was nobody's business. Is that
the feeling? Um yeah, I think I've been working so
hard on myself and like going to therapy and navigating
you know, different not so much that part of my life.
(32:16):
That that part of my life. I've always just kind
of been like we fell in love and we have
had like the most like beautiful, healthy, like growth induced relationship.
You know, it's always been it's like working and doing
the work to be in the relationship and like show
up the best that we can. Um. But different parts
(32:39):
of my life of like learning how to communicate and
not shutting down and like tearing down the walls and
like it's been a lot of work and I've had
to like really it's been very emotional and hard because
it's been a lot of like self reflection and confrontation
with myself and things that I've done my whole life
that have worked out until I was with someone who
(33:01):
kind of called me out on it or like challenge me.
And um, I think for those four years, I wanted
to make sure that I felt safe in that decision
to share something so special and personal to me with
people who are critics. You know. Obviously there's so many
(33:23):
people who are just supporters and are rooting me on,
but there's also critics. You know, there's always going to
be critics, and um, whether it's a relationship or whatever.
My sister the other day was like, I was scouring
the comments like ready to fight people, and I was like,
you can't do that, and she was like, yeah, I
realized people like criticize you for putting too much creamer
in your coffee, so there's always gonna be There's always
(33:46):
going to be something. And I was like, that's honestly
such a I mean, it's funny, but it's such a
good point of like critics or critics, and they're going
to find anything to be critical about. There's also something
so like special about how patient and Haley has been
with you, you know, because I think obviously you know,
she has been loud and proud, and she's been you know, vocal,
(34:10):
but that you know, this is all it was all
new for you, you know, like this you were navigating
all this for the first time. And I feel like
she extended a lot of like patience and grace and
love towards you in those things, in those areas, because
I think obviously the way your relationship was wasn't ideal
for her in the beginning, you know, like she I'm
sure she wanted to splatter you all over her social media,
(34:30):
and I feel like there's so much beauty in that too.
Oh one thousand percent. I mean, Haley, I we have
like the most like like the sweetest talks where we're
I mean, she's just so she I have never doubted
her love for me, and it's I mean obviously in
(34:51):
a way of like she's in love with me, but
like the like loving someone and caring for someone and
like doing what's best for them when they need it.
Like and I would always explain to her, She's like,
you're gonna get so much support, Like any whenever you
come out publicly, You're gonna get so much support. And
I'm like, well, it's different for you. Like my following
comes from like a really conservative like uh, like a
(35:13):
lot of religious, like a different background than your followers.
Like you've been celebrated for who you are, and I'm
it's not going to be that way for me. And
she was always like, it's totally on your time. And
I think at a certain point, I don't know when
the shift happened, but I think she got comfortable with
it being like hours too and so then I was like, oh, no,
are we were We never gonna be like um, but
(35:38):
she's just been amazing, like even you know, just like
last night and she was like, I'm so proud of you,
and I love you more than more now than I
didn't even know I could love you more, and I
love you more. I'm just like so proud. So she's
the best and and I have just been so lucky
(36:02):
to be with someone who has put my my needs
above hers and specifically this area. And I mean, she's amazing.
She is who she is, and you know, she's never
wavered from that, and I've always admired that because she's
very much like this is who I am. If you
(36:22):
like it, great, and if you don't like, that's okay,
And I'm obviously the opposite. I've been like a people
pleaser my whole life, and I'm like, I need everybody
to like me, and so I've really feel like I
just admire her so much for that. I do too,
because I feel like she and I are similar in
a lot of ways. But I get annoyed if I'm
(36:45):
not on your like Instagram feed for a while, and
if our dating for four years, I would be like,
where the f is my photo? Where am I at here?
I can't wait for my reels? And also people posted
did you see video of of Robbie hug It made
me so emotional. I'm trying to track down the person.
(37:07):
So somebody posted this videos guitar best friend Larry, who's
her guitar. I think I dammed him because everybody's sending
me this video and they're like, is that red star
hugging Becca? And I was like, that is so? I
think they were. He was just like filming the crowd
at the moment, and you can see in like the
bottom left corner it was when so he showed up alot.
He came after me because he had a dinner with
(37:28):
his um college friends in town or something. So he
met me. I was there with my girlfriend's Sophie and Paulina,
and he the minute he got there, he's like, I
just want to see Becca, and so he you see
this video and it's like the they captured the exact
moment that he showed up and he grabs Becca's like shoulder,
He like that beautiful little like snuggy little thing like
I'm here. I like, I love you to support you,
(37:49):
and like the hug and he like whispered something in
your ear. You guys, it was just like such a
beautiful video. It made me so emotional. It was it
made me emotional too, because I mean when he showed up,
I mean, I have such a like my friend's boyfriends
have been so warm and kind and obviously they love me,
but they love Haley. And it's been like the most
(38:11):
beautiful thing to watch. You know, these men who grew
up in very like traditional like men like hetero world right,
just like embrace our relationship and love and like support
us so much and so curious about it. He's always
been so curious, Like he's always asking Becca these like
uncomfortable questions and I wants to know, you know, like
(38:33):
he really wants to know. I can't remember. I don't
know what question he asked. But the first time we
the four of us met like and spent time together,
Haley and I laughed and I was like, I have
not been asking these questions maybe ever, But that's Robbie.
He's curious and he's Um. I I loved that something
(38:54):
that he caught that moment because it meant so much
too to me, Like is you know him him even
showing up after his dinner with his friends. So yeah,
I don't know. We men can evolve. That's a good
lesson to know out there. Men can evolve. Men, Cannibal,
(39:16):
That's why. You know, Like sometimes like there's like man
bashing that's happening, and I'm like, sure, Like I think
there's in any group of people. I think there are
bad eggs, women, men, everything. Yeah, I have been surrounded
by so many good men that I don't have like
(39:41):
like even I think last week on the podcast, you
are like men or whatever, and I was like, no,
I don't want to bash men like there are some
I'm like, I'm surrounded by so many good men, so
I um, I have watched men be like the best
and show up and even you know, it's interesting. At
JoJo's wedding, Haley came and uh, a lot of those
(40:04):
guys were like Southern guys, you know, Southern like national guys,
and you know, you think, like we live in such
a bubble in l A. And you expect everyone's like
how have you not? You know, you expect everyone to
have like relationships or friendships with people in same sex relationships,
but not everyone is. And so it was cool though
(40:24):
to see everyone, especially people who know me from the
Bachelor and like haven't known about my relationship status or
cared um be so welcoming and warm and like supportive,
just like right off the bat, and my whole like
four years of dating Haley has been like, Hi, this
is my girlfriend, Haley. And then like five minutes later
(40:46):
the person's like, so are you dating anybody? And I'm like, yeah, girlfriend,
Like this is my girlfriend romantically, you know, like I've
I've had to do that my whole relationship because and
not I've never been offended by it. I just think
it's funny because it's like, you know, I'm making I
make an effort to be like my girlfriend and then
(41:06):
they're like, so, who are you dating any lucky guy
right totally like no, this chick over here. I'm so
glad that that we know the guy. I'm going to
get that video because it literally I like cried when
I saw Yeah, I'll get it from her something. I
was seeing your best friend and your boyfriend and like
a very tender moment that was just like like I'm done,
(41:29):
So yeah, I don't know. I mean, have I missed anything?
I don't know. So the whole point what Tony was
talking about when she says she heard it on the
bed that like the next week, Hayley came back for
a break on tour and she had a day off
in my room, like it's always messy, but it was
I looked like in a smaller apartment and it was
like messy. It looks like it looked like the Tasmanian
(41:52):
Devil ran through and just like went to my closet
and drawers and just like through everything and you couldn't
even step on your floor without stepping on clothes, like it,
let's not make this about my personal issues. So um,
I was like, there's no way she can come over
and see this, like you, this is unacceptable. You gotta
clean this up. So so Tanya came over and helped
(42:14):
me for like all day, like basically clean my house.
So then Haley comes over and she's like, oh my god,
like this is a dream. You're so clean, and I
was like, yeah, my doing. I'm so organized. See how
the shelf is color coordinated? I yeah, she knows now
(42:37):
it's not who I am, so um yeah. So that
was great. And then I think like the first person
who found out outside of my family and friends in
a weird way I think was Taylor Swift because I
flew out for Haley, went on stage with her and
(43:00):
Austin and after the show, Um, I got to meet
Taylor and in her dressing room and she's like, you know,
it's like when I was thinking about it, I was,
I think that was the first person who knew it's
a hell of a blessing for the relationship. She Swift,
(43:20):
and she was probably just like okay, no, she was,
Yeah she was. It felt like talking to a friend.
Did she know you from The Bachelor? I don't think so. No.
I think she's like, I mean she's like watched the show.
I was like, I think she mentioned like Paradise or something,
but I don't know. If she like recognizing Um, but
(43:42):
she was great. But I thought that was a really
cool thing because obviously Taylor Swift stand forever. It always
comes back to Taylor sometimes always comes back to Taylor. UM.
So if you okay, okay, good quick if you had
to describe how your weekend felt in the Taylor Swift song,
oh h normally she's so good, I know, but that's
(44:06):
about herself. A little tremble the first one that came
to my mind, Well, two of them. I have one too,
what wile this dreams? Oh no, but that's a good
one too, basically that N nine album, because I was
going to say, actually out of the Woods, oh interesting
and wow, good ones better than while this dreams, Well,
(44:32):
we're thrilled for you. Do you feel like do you
just feel like free? Yeah? I really do. I feel
out like that whole song like really encompasses me, my
experience in my relationship. So I think my favorite thing
(45:02):
about the whole thing, honestly, is that you're not coming
out to the world saying I'm a lesbian. You're coming
out to the world. You're saying I am in love
with Haley. Because it shouldn't be about labels. It should
be about love, and that's what it's always should be about.
I think so many people look at it it's black
and white, it's one or the other, and it's just not.
It's just love, that's all it is. And when you
have those feelings, you shouldn't fight them. I agree, and
(45:24):
I've That's what I've always said. Is like, for me,
it was never about my label, but I I think
a lot of people having the label and being able
to name what it is that they've experienced has been
like is really important for some people. That just wasn't
my experience. And so that is like exactly what I'm saying.
It's not like this is my label, this is my sexuality.
It's more like, hey, I'm in love and I'm excited
(45:48):
to share with you. You're right. I feel like sometimes
labels help people feel like, Yeah, like when I say
vagina tingles, I got the vagina tingles, Like there's no
word for that, right, simply the vagina. Figure out a
word for that. I've used that a lot. Yeah, so
(46:11):
very good comparison, Tanya, Yeah, that was a little choppy.
So yeah, I've just I just the vagina tingles after
your first kiss yeah. I mean I think when you
have a good first kiss with anybody, you is no
(46:32):
new new when you have a good first kiss. I've
had lots of good first kisses, like sure, but I've
had the vagina tingles once. You didn't. I said that
multiple times. Unless you're all the tape. Oh well, now
we don't trust you. Speaking of rolling the tape, I
would like to shout out a scrubber, excuse me, I
have some tape to roll myself. Actually, once you're done
(46:52):
with this, okay, I had a scrubber reach out to
me over the weekend. Oh my god, it's so good,
and basically called Becca and Mark out from a past
from a past podcast, saying that like at one, oh,
here we go. This podcast episode was titled significant other
Q and A. So I'm guessing this is when uh
(47:13):
we had our significant others fill in the questions at
Mark Center and they time stamped it. So is that
minute sixty eight Becka and Mark both agreeing with you
that Red Star made the first move, and then this
past week they claimed you made the first move. Do
what you will with this information, But if I were you,
I'd call them out. Thank you. Danny Small Okay, I
don't know what she's talking about because you made the
(47:35):
first and actually it's funny. I have an authority I
can go to on this. Her name is Tanya rad
Eastern Roll the tape. Please, who made the first move?
Why can't you just look at photos and like them
like you mentally, mentally, just like it mentally. Don't double tag, raison,
(47:58):
double tap if you're especially in those situations like if
it's just a friend or whatever, and you're like liking
their photos, but if you like those photos, it's because
you want that person to maybe notice you totally. That
like liking a photo is essentially like dropping a handkerchief. Yeah, yes,
well put, Tania, well put, and I'm glad you agree
(48:19):
with us. There was zero, very very deeply. I want
to thank Kayla Ridley from Charlotte, North Carolina. That was
an episode forty two on July seven. That's how far
back Kayla went for that one. There. It is like
the photo is dropping a handkerchief. To be fair, I
(48:42):
was talking about Instagram. Uh not in the app. More
of a first move in a dating app than it
is on Instagram. Yeah, that was Yeah, I honestly think
I was specifically on a dating app. That's that's the
nail in the coffin right there on not a conversation.
(49:03):
You would like to thank Danny Small for sending that
in for me. Well, I'd like to hear that tape
because I don't think I would have ever said that.
I'm gonna go listen. I'll listen to it and I'll
bring my bottle next week. Yeah, fair enough, All right,
we do have so much more to talk about what
we're out of time, but we are going to come
back for a Thursday episode and cover all that with hot,
with with respect. Oh no, that's not what I'm trying
(49:25):
to say. With um, I don't know what I'm trying
to say, but I don't think it's right that this
whole podcast we just want to hear from you, your story,
so the other stuff gets bumped Thursday. Do you know
what I'm trying to I don't know what you're trying
to say. What's gonna reason? That's what I'm trying to say.
(49:47):
Good job? Oh that's hard. Alright on that tired, exhausted note,
We will see you on Thursday for more chat. Thank
you all so much. I from the bottom of my heart,
I will never be able to form. The scrubbers were awesome.
How the scrubbers are Yeah, just just next level, next level.
(50:11):
They well that there's a reason that was my first
place I stopped when the video came out. So for sure, UM,
I love you all. I hope you have a great
week and we'll be back Thursday. By
Hosts And Creators
Tanya Rad
Rebecca Tilley
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