August 27, 2024 • 36 mins
Becca and Tanya are hanging out in their Palm Springs Airbnb and Aurora Culpo is (virtually) stopping by!
We get all the tea on her sister Olivia’s wedding, she takes us through the Wild West that is dating in 2024, and Becca gets to ask a question that’s been burning in her mind for months!
Plus, learn what makes a *perfect* wedding speech. Take notes!!
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Scrubbing In with Becca Tilly and Tanya rap An iHeartRadio podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Hello everybody, we are scrubbing in.
Speaker 3 (00:11):
Scrub dab dab from our airbnb in Palm Spring.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
That's right, Tanya and I are fresh, freshly woken from
a slumber in our shared room.
Speaker 3 (00:21):
Yes, aren't you happy we did that? It was a
good time. We were up late one thirty six am.
I had to tell you. I was like, we've got
to go out of bed. You're just chit chatting.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
You were chit chatting.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
I know, I know.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
But we do have a guest today, and we're very excited.
We love love this family, Love this family. I love
this sister. She's one of my faves. She's one of
our faves. She's a social media influencer, she's a mommy blogger.
Speaker 3 (00:50):
She has her own podcast.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
Yes, it's called Barely Filtered And can everybody please give
a warm welcome to our guest, oh.
Speaker 3 (00:59):
Ora Kopa WHOA. I'm excited. I think my volume is
high on this Oh was it my helm?
Speaker 2 (01:11):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (01:12):
So sorry, welcome back, Aurora.
Speaker 4 (01:15):
I know I feel like I've been I've been on
this podcast at least once before. Maybe I just felt
like it was more than once.
Speaker 1 (01:21):
No, it was more than once because you come around,
You've come on with your sisters, so we had like
the three of you, and then we've had you solo.
So you're really like, this is your third time a veteran.
Speaker 4 (01:33):
Yeah, and you guys are still going, like I'm on,
I'm on year two of my podcast and like, I
don't know, it's tough to keep going with these things. Evidently,
I don't know, You're like, what is.
Speaker 3 (01:51):
There to talk about? Although I feel like you have
no shortage of things to talk about in your life.
Speaker 4 (01:57):
Oh, I never, I definitely don't. But also like Grey's
Anatomy is like almost vintage now, right.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
Scrubbing in, Yeah, we've really taken a departure. So like
seven years ago when we started this here journey, that's
what we scrubbing in was about. We talked about Grays
a lot, and I feel like over the years it's
kind of, uh dwindled.
Speaker 3 (02:20):
A little bit. I would say, we don't talk about
it ever.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
We really don't talk about it ever. So now scrubbing
in really.
Speaker 4 (02:25):
Just means I don't think though.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
Scrubbing in just means you're like part of the sisterhood.
Speaker 4 (02:33):
Yeah, I got it. You're like tuning in or trip
or okay, like an initiation. Yeah, I mean I dig it.
Speaker 3 (02:40):
Yeah yeah, yeah, No, I mean you know have names
like barely filtered.
Speaker 4 (02:44):
Yeah know, of course, and it's so you know, it's
there's nothing nothing filtered out there. There's like twenty five
million podcasts named something filtered or unfiltered.
Speaker 3 (02:55):
Wait.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
I have a question about because basically you're pod cast.
You you just you share, and do you ever share things?
And then you go, I don't know if I want
that in there?
Speaker 3 (03:09):
Can we take that out? Or is your mindset like
it's out there? Release it.
Speaker 4 (03:16):
I think that's one of my strengths with podcasting is
that I actually don't re listen to the episodes that
I record, and I don't ever have edits, so that's
just like it just what I say goes. And there's
certain guests Sophia Culpo, who like every time we have
her on, we're like, oh do we want to have
her on again? Because she has so many edits, And
I'm like, I'm like, who cares, like just say it?
(03:39):
But yeah, for sure, I have like I think yes,
I mean, I don't even think that that's exclusive to
my podcast. I think even in my dating life, in
my personal life, I say and do things like in
with my immediate re it's my immediate I act. Then
I think that could be in trouble all the time.
(04:02):
But that's like a very Fry's quality, and it's great
in some ways, because some things you do just need
to jump into and just say the thing that you're feeling.
But I often feel like, oh I probably could have
like thought about that for a sec or you know,
or like some days you don't feel you know, when
you put up a story and then it's like I'll
have to live with this for twenty four hours if
(04:22):
you're not in the mood anymore.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
Yeah, yeah, I just deleted though.
Speaker 3 (04:26):
Oh really, I've actually never had that thought.
Speaker 4 (04:29):
I did.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
Yeah, I'm an editor.
Speaker 4 (04:33):
People are still responding to it, and you're like, that
was so like, yeah, me yesterday, I'm a different person,
you know.
Speaker 3 (04:40):
My actually, my opinion on this.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
Has shifted a bit, and I don't know if I
stand with who I was yesterday exactly.
Speaker 4 (04:48):
I don't even know who she was.
Speaker 3 (04:51):
That was a different me. We've moved on.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
Yeah, they should maybe cut those down to twelve hours
just for people who might want to redo it.
Speaker 1 (04:59):
I wish they last longer, if I'm being honest, but
put on my own.
Speaker 4 (05:05):
Choice.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
Yeah, you brought up something that we wanted to get into,
which is your dating life.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
I mean I have so First of all, I have
so many questions for you. I don't know where to start.
I will start with your sister's wedding because you were
you were made like you were, You and your sisters
were just the maids of honor.
Speaker 4 (05:29):
Right, Yes, that's what I did for my wedding too.
We just like it's easier then you don't have a
bridal party and you just have your sisters, sos Me
and Sophie.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
Okay, so Becca is gonna is the same role.
Speaker 3 (05:41):
In my wedding.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
And I saw I saw you post something about your
speech at Olivia's wedding, and I wanted to I wanted
you to share the story. Is maybe a warning or
maybe give Becca?
Speaker 3 (05:55):
Yeah some tips? Some tips?
Speaker 4 (05:57):
Yeah? No, but I know that Becca will not do
what I did, which was like I really overshot my
ability to wing it. And I I mean, honestly, there
was a lot going on during that month where I
could come up with so many excuses, but started dating
somebody and I was in Rhode Island. I was with
(06:20):
my kids, and you know, you're just like, I'm gonna
write speech tomorro'm and then you're just like, you know what,
I don't want to. I think I got really confident
and I was like, it's gonna be better if it's
off the cuff. What ended up happening was Christian's brother
was the what do they call it? Best man, and
of course his speech was like it was like a
professionally written speech, and then ours came right after it,
(06:42):
and so Sophie went and hers was like very generic,
like oh, I have such big shoes to fill.
Speaker 2 (06:51):
You're such a good big sister, you know, like not
remarkable or anything. And the speech ended up being just
it was my ADHD was on fire and I was
in all different directions and I thought it was going
to come together, and then it didn't come together, and
I made a joke about her.
Speaker 4 (07:09):
Having ugly duckling syndrome. Was was supposed to be really nice.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
This is interesting because I also I didn't wing it.
At Ali's wedding, my other friend who I was her
maid of honor, I didn't I wouldn't say I wing
I winged.
Speaker 3 (07:25):
It, wong it. I know that was waned waned it,
but I had it written down.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
But when I read, like, if I have to read
something and keep track of the line that.
Speaker 1 (07:36):
I'm reading the sentiment, well no, I get nervous about that.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
So I'm better if I'm just like more, I have
freedom to wing it.
Speaker 3 (07:46):
But I too felt.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
Like I went before the best man and it was
like sweet, like people, you know, I got some tears
and stuff, but the best man gave the most epic
speech I.
Speaker 3 (07:59):
Have ever heard my life.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
I was like, that felt like it was written by
chat chat GBT, like it.
Speaker 3 (08:04):
Was, oh, that's so perfect? Is that? Though? When I
came around, he came around full circle.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
It was stunning, and I was like, thank god I
went before him.
Speaker 4 (08:15):
Seriously, yeah, I mean it. I think that also made
me nervous that I had to follow his and yeah
it was just his was like so and he was
practicing for people the whole weekend leading up, and I
was just like, whatever, I don't need to practice.
Speaker 1 (08:29):
You know What's interesting, though, I do feel like asking
people to give a speech at your wedding is like
is a lot because I feel like you can't really
enjoy yourself until you give it, like you're always thinking
about it. And I'm like, I want to minimize the
amount of speeches as as much as possible because I
don't want to put that on people.
Speaker 3 (08:48):
I want them just to like have fun. Yeah it
is pretty stressful, Yeah it is.
Speaker 4 (08:52):
That's true. And actually I went to a wedding last year,
and some people are terrified of public speaking. Like this guy.
It was uncomfortable for everyone in the room to watch
him speak because he was like circling like a shark
and he could like he was panic, and we were like,
this poor guy, who, like, can we just give him
like a pass? It was it was the groom's brother,
(09:13):
but still I think he should not have been asked.
Speaker 3 (09:16):
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
I'm like, I think I really have to, like I
think I have to really trim the list down.
Speaker 2 (09:21):
Yeah, or you're like, are you comfortable giving a speech? Right,
and then let that person make a decision yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:26):
Because I also do not make them feel bad if
they want to say no, yeah.
Speaker 3 (09:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (09:30):
The thing I think it was really disappointing was that,
like I write speeches for other people all the time,
and that's the kind of my shtick where like I'm
a good writer and people ask me to write stuff
for them, and like I think she just I think
the they thought it was going to be really good.
It just wasn't. But I did end with this poem
that was so beautiful, but I think it like still
And then when I sat down, my mom was like
(09:52):
it was too long. I'm like, okay, and that's like
the worst insult because like you're not supposed to make
make it feel I don't think there's anything worse than
like a two long speech.
Speaker 3 (10:01):
Yeah, it's about yourself deep with that.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
So not only was, but it was long, long and.
Speaker 3 (10:10):
Bad, bad and chaotic.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
How did you there was so much press around Olivia
and Christian's wedding? How did there were so many opinions,
which I found shocking. I was like, this is so
crazy because in my mind, the Colpo sisters can do
no wrong. So I was like, oh, this is crazy.
I just never expected it. How did was it just
(10:35):
kind of like ignore and move on? Or how was
that for you as as a sister?
Speaker 3 (10:40):
Obviously?
Speaker 4 (10:42):
Well, I was like in my you know, wallowing in
my like in my wedding speech drama because I was
like so mad at myself during that that, but Olivia
was really upset by the reaction. Olivia Olivia doesn't care
about like external opinions, but she really did care about
her web and she wanted it to be beautiful. It
(11:03):
hurt her feeling. Yeah, people were, like they were because
it was not at all what she meant, and like
they kind of took her words and twisted it and
they basically what she said was that her wedding, she
wanted her wedding dress to be very traditional and like
not have any sex appeal really, which I think there's
this whole like anti selut shaming culture that kind of
(11:26):
jumped in and they were like, well, what's wrong with sexy?
And she's liked nothing, Like that's not what I meant.
But yeah, people were. I think that same weekend too,
there was another woman who got married and her dress
was very risque. It was who was it? It was
like somebody famous' daughter. I don't know, I forget and
(11:47):
like so there was a side by side of the
two of them.
Speaker 3 (11:50):
Oh wow, that in my algorithm, I missed that wedding.
Speaker 4 (11:54):
I know now I'm trying to think it was the redhead,
Like she's like, who's the who's the actress that was
in Stepmom?
Speaker 3 (12:03):
Oh, Susan Sarandon.
Speaker 4 (12:05):
Yeah, Susan Trandon's daughter got married that weekend and she's
got these big boobs and she wore a dress that
was like like her Like. There was a lot of
comments about that, but they were nicer to her a
than any whork to Olivia, who had like you know,
the crew now showing nothing. So it's just you can't
make you can't win.
Speaker 3 (12:20):
Yeah, you never can't, you really really can.
Speaker 2 (12:22):
I also think it's like a wedding is so personal
and I we were talking about this yesterday because Tanya
tried on dresses and we were we were talking about
all the wedding like opinions that people have, and we
were saying, like, it's such a personal thing, like the
dress you choose and what you choose, And it's obviously
like when you have something public people, you're opening yourself
(12:42):
up to criticism, regardless of where it's coming from or
who it's coming from, like when you're a public figure.
Speaker 3 (12:48):
But it was an interesting.
Speaker 1 (12:51):
Circus of Yeah, it was very unexpected to me, Like
I was just really like shocked by all of it, honestly,
because I'm like it was all perfection.
Speaker 4 (13:02):
Yeah, I mean, honestly it is. I think there is
something too also, just to you kind of have like
the post wedding blues because you're you're so long, and
the thing is, it's like you want to look the
most beautiful you've ever looked on your wedding day. It
just like I don't know somebody who's ever like, oh,
I looked the best I ever looked at my wedding day.
(13:23):
Like I look at my wedding photos and I'm like,
oh no, Like the botox was off, the hair was fine.
I was in Mexico, but I had like a wavy look,
so it just looked like a shaggy dog hair. And
it's just I don't know, like it's so so much
pressure for one day. I know, I think the bride
is off and the one who has the least amount
of fun because it's just too much pressure. So don't
(13:46):
do any of that.
Speaker 2 (13:47):
Tanya getting married potentially in Mexico, listening.
Speaker 4 (13:50):
To really do a wavy look unless you use like
a really good product, it's so human, Okay, make sure
you get really good hairspray.
Speaker 3 (14:08):
Just bitten vacin, not knowing the dagger she shooting, like,
I'm not going to sleep tonight, thank you so much,
passing on her speech trauma.
Speaker 4 (14:19):
Yours is going to be beautiful. I feel like you've
really been planning every detail since you were like out
of the womb, So I'm sure it's going to be perfect.
Speaker 1 (14:28):
So it's funny you say that because she has I haven't,
and so I think that's the problem. Is like, yeah, no,
I was always so fixated on like the person that
I was going to marry, not like the wedding and
what it would look like, and so it's like I
finally got him, and now I'm like, what do I
do now?
Speaker 4 (14:45):
Yeah? Well, I mean I just I feel like it's
just too much pressure to think that everything is going
to be perfect. You just, I think more than anything,
you need to set it up so that you feel
the most comfortable. So however, you usually like feel comfortable
wearing your hair, like try anything new, right, right?
Speaker 1 (15:02):
Yeah, But I think you're so right. I think that
there is this like crazy pressure. Everybody says like the
biggest day of your life and like all this stuff,
and I'm like I'm trying to have the opposite conversation
with myself where I'm just like the biggest decision of
my life was to decide that he is my life partner.
But like the wedding is just a celebration of that,
and it's just like I'm trying to treat it like
another party, you know what I mean, like a party
(15:24):
celebration of our love, so that I'm not like so
hyper fixated on everything, because I think that's going to
like make me a little yeah, yeah, me.
Speaker 3 (15:33):
Too much, too much for your Yeah.
Speaker 4 (15:35):
Yeah, there was something kind of cool about the no
phone rule at Olivia's wedding too, because you kind of
have like version control of the content too.
Speaker 3 (15:59):
Would you ever get married again?
Speaker 4 (16:01):
Yes, I definitely want to. I'm really not worried about
like am I gonna find somebody? Am I gonna be
able to? I think what I'm experiencing a lot of
that I wasn't expecting was like people being like, oh,
kind of pitying. I feel like I've been meeting some
really cool people some really not cool people too, Like
you know, there's like there's there's just so many offs.
(16:22):
There really are a lot of efficiency.
Speaker 3 (16:24):
Yeah, and I think.
Speaker 4 (16:25):
Most importantly, like me fine tuning what it is that
I want more than anything in the dating life. I've
just been learning that there's that maybe I didn't really
know what I wanted, you know, That's that's what that's
the biggest work, like what what do I want? And
being and like not being afraid to say no, Like
that's not it for me.
Speaker 1 (16:47):
Yeah, I feel like you dated someone that was in
the public eye that we saw a lot.
Speaker 3 (16:52):
I feel like that. Yeah, I didn't know.
Speaker 1 (16:55):
Oh you didn't know that he was in the public eye.
Speaker 4 (16:58):
No, I had no, I did not know that. Well,
so he's not famous, but his friend right is quite famous, Yeah,
so or his ex fiance. So I didn't realize that
by association he was of interest to the press, which
(17:19):
was something I never would have like ever dreamed of,
because he like and it all happened right around Olivia's
wedding when there was tons of proparazzi around, so they
were seeing him and me and they were getting photos
of him and us together, and he was like kind
of suspicious that somebody was setting it up. It was
(17:40):
the whole thing was.
Speaker 1 (17:44):
Twilight because of that situation. Do you feel like you
would rather date somebody that's like not in the public
eye whatsoever, or just like whoever it is it is.
Speaker 4 (17:55):
No, I don't care for me. I didn't mind. I
didn't mind the press. If anything, I helped my podcast
a little bit. I don't care about it. Doesn't like
I think, I don't have like a very inflated sense
of self. Like I understand I'm like a F minus
list celebrity, Like a little extra press is gonna help
help my podcast. If I date somebody who's who's famous,
(18:17):
that's great, but like m it's not gonna affect the
way I feel about them. And I also am not
going to feel any big way about being in the press.
I mean, like the headlines were ridiculous, that none of
the stuff you read is true about like maybe fifty
percent of this stuff is true, but it's so salacious
(18:38):
that if anything, it's just more like kind of funny, like,
oh wow, what did they come up with now? Because
this was like not accurate?
Speaker 1 (18:46):
That is so funny because I was reading, I literally
was reading all this stuff and I was like wow,
Like I was like taken aback by all of it.
Speaker 4 (18:54):
Yeah, No, I mean it's true. Olivia was like, you
can't bring your new boyfriend to the wedding. I've never
met him before, and they ran with that and he
got so offended, not offended, didn't invite him, offended that
he was painted as this not invited person. And I
was like, can you ghet over yourself? Like a hot second,
(19:17):
you really learn about somebody by like the way that
they like people's egos are so fragile.
Speaker 1 (19:22):
Yeah, I had respected that decision.
Speaker 3 (19:26):
Honestly.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
I was like, it's a very normal like you're not
coming to my wedding.
Speaker 3 (19:30):
That's a very normal decision, right, right, right.
Speaker 4 (19:33):
That's what I didn't get about. I think maybe with him,
he was just a little scared from like being dragged
through the press in his previous relationship, and so he
was like, how am I here again? And I was like,
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (19:49):
But it's so funny because as I was reading all
this stuff about your situation, I put it into perspective
of like mine, and I was like, if one of
my bridesmaids I have, like you know, one that's like whatever, Like,
let's say we're came to me and she sorted dating
somebody knew that I hadn't met.
Speaker 3 (20:02):
She wanted to bring him to my wedding.
Speaker 1 (20:04):
I was like, that's like somebody that's so close to you,
one of my very best friends.
Speaker 3 (20:08):
Like, I feel like I would say yes, Yeah, I mean,
I don't know. I feel like you can be self.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
I also think when it's your sister, there's a different dynamics.
Speaker 4 (20:20):
She knew, like if I had really pressed her about
it and I was like, I'm in love with this person,
I really want him to be here, she would have
seen it. I didn't. It was kind of like a
joke because he really was new. I didn't really want
him to come because he didn't really want to come
because it was like a very public wedding and I
(20:43):
was really going to be really busy there. He's kind
of a shy person. It just wasn't Yeah, nobody wanted.
Nobody wanted him to be there, including him. So that
was kind of the funny thing.
Speaker 3 (20:53):
About the whole thing. So are you single right now? Oh?
Speaker 4 (21:01):
I am, but I'm dating. I like, I'm I'm dating
and it is the wild West out there. But I
met somebody who's actually so nice, so sweet, and I
don't know, we'll see. He has a kid. Oh, how
did you meet them and I met him, well, I
met him on Riah. Actually he like direct requested me. Yeah,
(21:28):
I guess it's a feature, but yeah, I don't know.
In interesting guys, same like once I should not be
on there because they're like fully married in a relationship
with yeah people, I don't know. That happened one time,
and I'm I think I am scarred. That's what I'm realizing.
(21:51):
Like the micro traumas and traumas like such a buzzword,
but it's hard not to It's hard to like remain
open date after date after date because you're just kind
of burned out. Yeah, that's how I felt like recently,
where I'm just like I was on a third date
with a guy and he kind of wanted to physically
take you to the next level. And I'm just like,
(22:12):
if I have sex with every third date, like I'm
gonna be I'm gonna have herpes. But in like a
few months, you know, it's just I don't know, it's
hard to like put the brakes on with people without
that without making them feel rejected.
Speaker 2 (22:27):
Right, It's like setting a healthy, very normal boundary, but
there's also this expectation and I also feel like at
our age, like and like you're it's like these men
expect like, oh, you're on our third date.
Speaker 3 (22:40):
I've bought you dinner three times.
Speaker 1 (22:42):
Like there is like yeah, it's so weird and like
I've had like it's actually kind of like sad to say,
but I feel like I've done some things physically that
I didn't necessarily want to do, but I feel like
I needed to do them, which is like actually such
a like that step.
Speaker 4 (22:59):
In the other day, Yeah, totally, I I got in
it over you. I've totally like I totally have had
sex just to like appease somebody to like so then
so that I didn't have to deal with what I
deal with the other night, which was the whole, like,
which is the whole my daughter she doesn't know what
(23:21):
that means yet, which was the whole, Like you know,
is there not a connection? Are you putting me in
the friend zone? And that's what he said, and I
was like, I'm not putting you in the friend zone
just because like I'm not. I don't know.
Speaker 3 (23:32):
Well, yeah, I know what it was.
Speaker 4 (23:34):
But do you guys think that that actually makes them
want you more?
Speaker 2 (23:37):
Yes?
Speaker 4 (23:37):
When you when you make wait, yes, I don't know, Okay,
that's good. I'm happy about that.
Speaker 1 (23:44):
I have like a very When I was dating, I
hit a point where I was like, I'm no longer
uh giving myself fully physically to anybody until they are
my boyfriend. And I remember I would tell all of
the guys I was dating this, and like their response
to it was very telling, like the ones that stayed
versus the ones that never called me again.
Speaker 4 (24:04):
I get that a lot when I'm not drinking, because like,
I do drink sometimes, but most of the time I don't.
And I think for first dates, men feel uncomfortable if
I'm not having a drink. And there was one guy
who was like, like, would not let it go. And
he was like, well, are you an alcoholic? I'm like no,
I just like don't want to drink because it like
(24:25):
doesn't make me feel good, and and and and then
he was like and then he like ordered me a
drink with alcohol in it. Anyway, I don't know that
guy was done. But I have a rule too, So
it's like five dates commitment or three months, and like
this is the rule that I like loosely am supposed
to supposed to follow because I have a friend of
mine who's a dating coach? And when I tell this
(24:46):
to guys, they're like, who is this if. The most
recent response was this guy being like, does your dating
coach belong to the Church of the Latter Day of
the Saints or something?
Speaker 3 (24:56):
I don't know, Like it was.
Speaker 4 (24:57):
Just so weird. I was like, no, it's just a
normal I.
Speaker 2 (25:00):
Don't know, you know, I had I really felt like
I had the attention of men because I was just
never interested. But I literally think it's it's because I
wanted to date a woman.
Speaker 4 (25:12):
Right like.
Speaker 1 (25:14):
Becca, men would flock to Becca.
Speaker 2 (25:16):
I just was like, so you were so a loose
aloof and just like uninterested that I wasn't trying to be.
It was just I was like, why do you Why
are you so desperate? Like the more desperate you are,
the less I'm interested.
Speaker 4 (25:32):
It is true that, like the morning after I rejected
that advance too, he like sends me this like mirror
selfie and I'm like, this feels like a cry for
attention kind of you.
Speaker 2 (25:44):
Know, Ah, no she rejected me, yet, let me show
her what she missed out on.
Speaker 3 (25:56):
Sick.
Speaker 1 (25:58):
Have any of the guys that you have dated, like
listen to your podcast?
Speaker 4 (26:03):
Yes, and that's one of the questions that I get
a lot too, is like, oh, when am I going
to make it on the podcast, or like are you
going to talk about this on your podcast? And that's
a little I think I did learn a lesson with
the last guy, the one who's dating the famous person.
He ended up not being happy that I had talked
about him because while he was anonymous, later he came
(26:24):
out right not so then people like could backtrack it
hear all the things that I said, which were all
nice things, they were just like, oh he came although
I did say he has two kids and they're like
in high school, and he got really weirded out by that.
I guess it's not my job to decide like how
comfortable people should be with being out a public force.
(26:45):
Just because I am doesn't mean everybody is, so I think,
rather than find that out the hard way, I just like,
don't talk about the guys as much on my podcast.
I still mention things, usually in retrospect. If I'm not
dating them anymore, but I'm currently you probably aren't going
to hear a lot about them, especially if their situations
(27:06):
are kind of delicate. You know, I'm dating guys who
are like widowed some of them some of that like divorce,
there's there's with kids. It's not like just that one
person that I have to be sensitive to, right.
Speaker 2 (27:38):
It's also like you can go on a date with
someone and if I'm imagining you go on a lot
of dates where you immediately are like, this is.
Speaker 3 (27:44):
Not the guy.
Speaker 2 (27:45):
And that's the podcast content because you're like, but what do.
Speaker 4 (27:50):
You guys think about that? I like how I'm like
totally just interviewing you guys, But do you think that
do you think the attraction can grow? Because I do
feel like one time I went on to with somebody
that I'm currently on like number three or four day with,
Like the first time we went on a date, I
was like, oh I just couldn't get over the outfit.
I hated it so much.
Speaker 3 (28:09):
Like no, see, I disagree. I disagree.
Speaker 2 (28:12):
There's because like if if someone like you, if you
help him, and because he might just have never had
someone who has style and knows how to dress well,
so like it takes one person to make him feel
good about himself and then his whole confidence change and
he's in a que outfit and you're like, oh, maybe
there's something.
Speaker 3 (28:31):
Yeah, but if it's only the.
Speaker 1 (28:33):
Outfit, I know, I feel like the face you made
made it seem like it you got like a little
bit of an ick.
Speaker 4 (28:39):
She's definitely the I did get the from the outfit
because it was and I don't think it was like
a lack of style. I think it was like that
was his personal style.
Speaker 3 (28:48):
Can you describe the alpho? We get a description of
the outfit.
Speaker 4 (28:52):
Now I feel like he might know what I'm talking,
like he hopefully he won't be listening to this. It
was very like like HIGI high wasted jeans with a
belt for man?
Speaker 3 (29:04):
How high?
Speaker 1 (29:05):
Like belly button too high?
Speaker 3 (29:09):
It was just too high for comfort for you.
Speaker 4 (29:12):
Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (29:15):
That sounds not good to me. I don't know.
Speaker 4 (29:17):
And like his heels clicked. His shoes clicked.
Speaker 3 (29:20):
Heel heels You said heels.
Speaker 4 (29:24):
I said, he had like a hard sol shoe on
and they kept clicking, and I was like, like clocks.
We were it over like loafers. They were loafers, but
they were like too clicky. I don't know.
Speaker 2 (29:37):
It's like me romping around Tanya, I just found not
won't walk around barefoot in a house. So she forgot
slippers and socks, so she's been wearing her heels around
this Airbnb.
Speaker 4 (29:50):
I feel you about the barefoot. I don't love that either,
but I wouldn't go so far.
Speaker 2 (29:54):
So I've been hearing her click around, the clacking all
more than long.
Speaker 3 (29:59):
I understand high pants and loafer quick. I don't know.
Speaker 1 (30:01):
I just feel like, if you're gonna be with this
person for the rest of your life, like that immediate
attraction and that immediate chemistry I think is like I
don't know, I.
Speaker 2 (30:13):
Agree, I agree, but I do think there are stories
where people have had a.
Speaker 3 (30:19):
First growers not showers exactly.
Speaker 2 (30:21):
Yeahh like where they've met and they were there wasn't
an instant connection, but they knew that they were like
a good person, and so they went on a second
date and continued and realized like when they didn't hear
from them, they realized they missed them, you know, but
they couldn't pinpoint it. I don't know, I never It's
my experience is so I don't have a lot of
dating experience because I, like I said, I went on
(30:43):
The Bachelor, I dated man, but I'd go on a
few dates and then I was like, oh, it'd be
it'd be like his nails were too long, and I'd like, yeah,
like I had, I had an ick for everything.
Speaker 3 (30:53):
And then I met Helen and it was like she
can do no wrong.
Speaker 2 (30:56):
She could do no like there's no eggs. Yeah, so
oh yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 4 (31:02):
Yeah, I think I'm going to try to be open
because you know, and in the past, I feel like
I've chosen the guy who, like you, want to jump
their bones right away, and that's not the long term
person for you. A lot of times, Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (31:16):
It was for me it was yeah, Like I remember
the first time I saw Robbie, I literally was like whoa,
Like Vagina was like on fire.
Speaker 3 (31:28):
Oh yeah, it was crazy.
Speaker 4 (31:31):
It's really hot though, So you lucked out. That's like
an objective fact.
Speaker 3 (31:38):
Wow, thank you so much. I appreciate that. I appreciate that.
Speaker 2 (31:42):
Okay, last night we were talking about this. We were talking
about how all of y'all play instruments? Do you play
an instrument?
Speaker 4 (31:48):
I played a piano a little bit, saying.
Speaker 2 (31:50):
Oh, oh that's right, her voice is her instruments.
Speaker 3 (31:56):
Was like, I've seen them all.
Speaker 2 (31:57):
We were talking about how her dad was saying he
that he had pushed his kids to play an instrument, and.
Speaker 1 (32:03):
I was like, I like the colbos. Yeah we all
play something.
Speaker 4 (32:07):
Yeah, wow, yeah we all we all have played everything.
Sophie used to play the basoon, so Olivia would carry
her like cello to school, so if we would have
her big instrument, I played the piano, but yeah, I
didn't really stick with it.
Speaker 3 (32:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (32:19):
I played the saxophone for a minute. So if y'all
ever need a sax player to come in, let me know.
Speaker 3 (32:26):
It was short lived.
Speaker 2 (32:27):
It was a fifth grade, fifth grade moment. But we
appreciate you coming on the podcast so much. Thanks for
taking time.
Speaker 3 (32:34):
I'm not done with her yet. I'm sorry. Okay, I
just had one more.
Speaker 1 (32:37):
Question, because you do have your podcast. Where do you
see your podcast in the next Do you have seasons?
Speaker 4 (32:44):
So kind of like just it's like a fifty two episode,
so every every week we I have an episode, and
so I guess every year is a season. So I
met season two.
Speaker 1 (32:54):
Okay, what do you see for the next couple of
seasons for Barely Filtered?
Speaker 4 (32:59):
Oh man, this is such a good question because I'm
kind of grappling with this. People love to hear the
dating stuff. I like to talk about that, but I
really love to interview people who are like optimizing their
health and in the kind of like biohacking space. And
I love that about longevity and I love that. It's
just like, does my audience love it as much as
(33:21):
I do? This is what I'm trying to kind of
figure out. So a little bit of everything, but I
think more in the health space and and of course
like social wellness, dating and how to I don't know,
be your best be your best partner. I think as
I evolved in my relationships, hopefully I'll be in a
relationship then and they'll be open to me talking about
(33:41):
it a little bit.
Speaker 2 (33:44):
I think people when it comes to like podcast podcasting,
I think people love you. So I think whatever you're
interested in translates to your audience. So even if your
audience who loves like your dating stories, you know, which
you're always your going to talk about that and you know,
at your discretion, but I think, uh, you'll find a
(34:05):
new audience who loves listening to you and the things
that you love, because that's what translates for people, you know,
like what.
Speaker 3 (34:11):
You're passionate about. Sweet Yeah, No, I think it's.
Speaker 4 (34:14):
Just believing that. It's like hard for me to wrap
my head around. But I appreciate that.
Speaker 2 (34:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (34:19):
I know.
Speaker 1 (34:19):
It's a fine line though, because like if you like,
let's say, you have to start a podcast, everbody falls
in love with like you and and what you're talking about,
and you make it a hard pivot and you're like,
I'm going to turn it into a true crime prop podcast.
Speaker 3 (34:31):
But I think there's a world.
Speaker 2 (34:33):
I think hers can blame longevity of all this and dating.
Speaker 1 (34:38):
I love biohacking. I could talk about that stuff for days.
Speaker 2 (34:41):
I know you and I.
Speaker 3 (34:45):
That's yeah, she's never referenced a b Yeah.
Speaker 1 (34:49):
Sorry, I referenced cycle sinking or whatever.
Speaker 4 (34:52):
Yeah, yeah, Anya, and my d ms are like, what
day of your cycle?
Speaker 3 (34:58):
What are you eating?
Speaker 4 (35:00):
How are you eating it?
Speaker 3 (35:01):
What are you working out?
Speaker 2 (35:02):
Yeah? I'm glad that she has you for that because
I'm like, I don't care.
Speaker 3 (35:06):
So yeah, Ing and Yang here? Yeah and Yang. I
think it's Yin and Yang? What is it? Yin Yin?
Oh wow, I've been saying it wrong for thirty seven years.
Yin and Yang. Yeah, I think you are.
Speaker 1 (35:23):
I know you have a busy day. We really appreciate
you taking the time.
Speaker 4 (35:26):
I love fun and pomp. Spring must be hot there right?
Speaker 3 (35:29):
It is hot. Yeah, it's pretty hot. But I love
having you on.
Speaker 1 (35:32):
I find you wildly entertaining, So thank you for coming on.
And everybody check out Aurora's podcast. It's called Barely Filtered.
You can get it wherever you get your podcasts.
Speaker 4 (35:44):
Yeah, thanks so much, guys. I love talking to both
of you. You're the best.
Speaker 3 (35:48):
Thanks Aurora, have a good weekend.
Speaker 4 (35:50):
Bye.
Scrubbing In with Becca Tilly and Tanya rap An iHeartRadio podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Hello everybody, we are scrubbing in.
Speaker 3 (00:11):
Scrub dab dab from our airbnb in Palm Spring.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
That's right, Tanya and I are fresh, freshly woken from
a slumber in our shared room.
Speaker 3 (00:21):
Yes, aren't you happy we did that? It was a
good time. We were up late one thirty six am.
I had to tell you. I was like, we've got
to go out of bed. You're just chit chatting.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
You were chit chatting.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
I know, I know.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
But we do have a guest today, and we're very excited.
We love love this family, Love this family. I love
this sister. She's one of my faves. She's one of
our faves. She's a social media influencer, she's a mommy blogger.
Speaker 3 (00:50):
She has her own podcast.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
Yes, it's called Barely Filtered And can everybody please give
a warm welcome to our guest, oh.
Speaker 3 (00:59):
Ora Kopa WHOA. I'm excited. I think my volume is
high on this Oh was it my helm?
Speaker 2 (01:11):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (01:12):
So sorry, welcome back, Aurora.
Speaker 4 (01:15):
I know I feel like I've been I've been on
this podcast at least once before. Maybe I just felt
like it was more than once.
Speaker 1 (01:21):
No, it was more than once because you come around,
You've come on with your sisters, so we had like
the three of you, and then we've had you solo.
So you're really like, this is your third time a veteran.
Speaker 4 (01:33):
Yeah, and you guys are still going, like I'm on,
I'm on year two of my podcast and like, I
don't know, it's tough to keep going with these things. Evidently,
I don't know, You're like, what is.
Speaker 3 (01:51):
There to talk about? Although I feel like you have
no shortage of things to talk about in your life.
Speaker 4 (01:57):
Oh, I never, I definitely don't. But also like Grey's
Anatomy is like almost vintage now, right.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
Scrubbing in, Yeah, we've really taken a departure. So like
seven years ago when we started this here journey, that's
what we scrubbing in was about. We talked about Grays
a lot, and I feel like over the years it's
kind of, uh dwindled.
Speaker 3 (02:20):
A little bit. I would say, we don't talk about
it ever.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
We really don't talk about it ever. So now scrubbing
in really.
Speaker 4 (02:25):
Just means I don't think though.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
Scrubbing in just means you're like part of the sisterhood.
Speaker 4 (02:33):
Yeah, I got it. You're like tuning in or trip
or okay, like an initiation. Yeah, I mean I dig it.
Speaker 3 (02:40):
Yeah yeah, yeah, No, I mean you know have names
like barely filtered.
Speaker 4 (02:44):
Yeah know, of course, and it's so you know, it's
there's nothing nothing filtered out there. There's like twenty five
million podcasts named something filtered or unfiltered.
Speaker 3 (02:55):
Wait.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
I have a question about because basically you're pod cast.
You you just you share, and do you ever share things?
And then you go, I don't know if I want
that in there?
Speaker 3 (03:09):
Can we take that out? Or is your mindset like
it's out there? Release it.
Speaker 4 (03:16):
I think that's one of my strengths with podcasting is
that I actually don't re listen to the episodes that
I record, and I don't ever have edits, so that's
just like it just what I say goes. And there's
certain guests Sophia Culpo, who like every time we have
her on, we're like, oh do we want to have
her on again? Because she has so many edits, And
I'm like, I'm like, who cares, like just say it?
(03:39):
But yeah, for sure, I have like I think yes,
I mean, I don't even think that that's exclusive to
my podcast. I think even in my dating life, in
my personal life, I say and do things like in
with my immediate re it's my immediate I act. Then
I think that could be in trouble all the time.
(04:02):
But that's like a very Fry's quality, and it's great
in some ways, because some things you do just need
to jump into and just say the thing that you're feeling.
But I often feel like, oh I probably could have
like thought about that for a sec or you know,
or like some days you don't feel you know, when
you put up a story and then it's like I'll
have to live with this for twenty four hours if
(04:22):
you're not in the mood anymore.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
Yeah, yeah, I just deleted though.
Speaker 3 (04:26):
Oh really, I've actually never had that thought.
Speaker 4 (04:29):
I did.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
Yeah, I'm an editor.
Speaker 4 (04:33):
People are still responding to it, and you're like, that
was so like, yeah, me yesterday, I'm a different person,
you know.
Speaker 3 (04:40):
My actually, my opinion on this.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
Has shifted a bit, and I don't know if I
stand with who I was yesterday exactly.
Speaker 4 (04:48):
I don't even know who she was.
Speaker 3 (04:51):
That was a different me. We've moved on.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
Yeah, they should maybe cut those down to twelve hours
just for people who might want to redo it.
Speaker 1 (04:59):
I wish they last longer, if I'm being honest, but
put on my own.
Speaker 4 (05:05):
Choice.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
Yeah, you brought up something that we wanted to get into,
which is your dating life.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
I mean I have so First of all, I have
so many questions for you. I don't know where to start.
I will start with your sister's wedding because you were
you were made like you were, You and your sisters
were just the maids of honor.
Speaker 4 (05:29):
Right, Yes, that's what I did for my wedding too.
We just like it's easier then you don't have a
bridal party and you just have your sisters, sos Me
and Sophie.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
Okay, so Becca is gonna is the same role.
Speaker 3 (05:41):
In my wedding.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
And I saw I saw you post something about your
speech at Olivia's wedding, and I wanted to I wanted
you to share the story. Is maybe a warning or
maybe give Becca?
Speaker 3 (05:55):
Yeah some tips? Some tips?
Speaker 4 (05:57):
Yeah? No, but I know that Becca will not do
what I did, which was like I really overshot my
ability to wing it. And I I mean, honestly, there
was a lot going on during that month where I
could come up with so many excuses, but started dating
somebody and I was in Rhode Island. I was with
(06:20):
my kids, and you know, you're just like, I'm gonna
write speech tomorro'm and then you're just like, you know what,
I don't want to. I think I got really confident
and I was like, it's gonna be better if it's
off the cuff. What ended up happening was Christian's brother
was the what do they call it? Best man, and
of course his speech was like it was like a
professionally written speech, and then ours came right after it,
(06:42):
and so Sophie went and hers was like very generic,
like oh, I have such big shoes to fill.
Speaker 2 (06:51):
You're such a good big sister, you know, like not
remarkable or anything. And the speech ended up being just
it was my ADHD was on fire and I was
in all different directions and I thought it was going
to come together, and then it didn't come together, and
I made a joke about her.
Speaker 4 (07:09):
Having ugly duckling syndrome. Was was supposed to be really nice.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
This is interesting because I also I didn't wing it.
At Ali's wedding, my other friend who I was her
maid of honor, I didn't I wouldn't say I wing
I winged.
Speaker 3 (07:25):
It, wong it. I know that was waned waned it,
but I had it written down.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
But when I read, like, if I have to read
something and keep track of the line that.
Speaker 1 (07:36):
I'm reading the sentiment, well no, I get nervous about that.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
So I'm better if I'm just like more, I have
freedom to wing it.
Speaker 3 (07:46):
But I too felt.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
Like I went before the best man and it was
like sweet, like people, you know, I got some tears
and stuff, but the best man gave the most epic
speech I.
Speaker 3 (07:59):
Have ever heard my life.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
I was like, that felt like it was written by
chat chat GBT, like it.
Speaker 3 (08:04):
Was, oh, that's so perfect? Is that? Though? When I
came around, he came around full circle.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
It was stunning, and I was like, thank god I
went before him.
Speaker 4 (08:15):
Seriously, yeah, I mean it. I think that also made
me nervous that I had to follow his and yeah
it was just his was like so and he was
practicing for people the whole weekend leading up, and I
was just like, whatever, I don't need to practice.
Speaker 1 (08:29):
You know What's interesting, though, I do feel like asking
people to give a speech at your wedding is like
is a lot because I feel like you can't really
enjoy yourself until you give it, like you're always thinking
about it. And I'm like, I want to minimize the
amount of speeches as as much as possible because I
don't want to put that on people.
Speaker 3 (08:48):
I want them just to like have fun. Yeah it
is pretty stressful, Yeah it is.
Speaker 4 (08:52):
That's true. And actually I went to a wedding last year,
and some people are terrified of public speaking. Like this guy.
It was uncomfortable for everyone in the room to watch
him speak because he was like circling like a shark
and he could like he was panic, and we were like,
this poor guy, who, like, can we just give him
like a pass? It was it was the groom's brother,
(09:13):
but still I think he should not have been asked.
Speaker 3 (09:16):
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
I'm like, I think I really have to, like I
think I have to really trim the list down.
Speaker 2 (09:21):
Yeah, or you're like, are you comfortable giving a speech? Right,
and then let that person make a decision yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:26):
Because I also do not make them feel bad if
they want to say no, yeah.
Speaker 3 (09:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (09:30):
The thing I think it was really disappointing was that,
like I write speeches for other people all the time,
and that's the kind of my shtick where like I'm
a good writer and people ask me to write stuff
for them, and like I think she just I think
the they thought it was going to be really good.
It just wasn't. But I did end with this poem
that was so beautiful, but I think it like still
And then when I sat down, my mom was like
(09:52):
it was too long. I'm like, okay, and that's like
the worst insult because like you're not supposed to make
make it feel I don't think there's anything worse than
like a two long speech.
Speaker 3 (10:01):
Yeah, it's about yourself deep with that.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
So not only was, but it was long, long and.
Speaker 3 (10:10):
Bad, bad and chaotic.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
How did you there was so much press around Olivia
and Christian's wedding? How did there were so many opinions,
which I found shocking. I was like, this is so
crazy because in my mind, the Colpo sisters can do
no wrong. So I was like, oh, this is crazy.
I just never expected it. How did was it just
(10:35):
kind of like ignore and move on? Or how was
that for you as as a sister?
Speaker 3 (10:40):
Obviously?
Speaker 4 (10:42):
Well, I was like in my you know, wallowing in
my like in my wedding speech drama because I was
like so mad at myself during that that, but Olivia
was really upset by the reaction. Olivia Olivia doesn't care
about like external opinions, but she really did care about
her web and she wanted it to be beautiful. It
(11:03):
hurt her feeling. Yeah, people were, like they were because
it was not at all what she meant, and like
they kind of took her words and twisted it and
they basically what she said was that her wedding, she
wanted her wedding dress to be very traditional and like
not have any sex appeal really, which I think there's
this whole like anti selut shaming culture that kind of
(11:26):
jumped in and they were like, well, what's wrong with sexy?
And she's liked nothing, Like that's not what I meant.
But yeah, people were. I think that same weekend too,
there was another woman who got married and her dress
was very risque. It was who was it? It was
like somebody famous' daughter. I don't know, I forget and
(11:47):
like so there was a side by side of the
two of them.
Speaker 3 (11:50):
Oh wow, that in my algorithm, I missed that wedding.
Speaker 4 (11:54):
I know now I'm trying to think it was the redhead,
Like she's like, who's the who's the actress that was
in Stepmom?
Speaker 3 (12:03):
Oh, Susan Sarandon.
Speaker 4 (12:05):
Yeah, Susan Trandon's daughter got married that weekend and she's
got these big boobs and she wore a dress that
was like like her Like. There was a lot of
comments about that, but they were nicer to her a
than any whork to Olivia, who had like you know,
the crew now showing nothing. So it's just you can't
make you can't win.
Speaker 3 (12:20):
Yeah, you never can't, you really really can.
Speaker 2 (12:22):
I also think it's like a wedding is so personal
and I we were talking about this yesterday because Tanya
tried on dresses and we were we were talking about
all the wedding like opinions that people have, and we
were saying, like, it's such a personal thing, like the
dress you choose and what you choose, And it's obviously
like when you have something public people, you're opening yourself
(12:42):
up to criticism, regardless of where it's coming from or
who it's coming from, like when you're a public figure.
Speaker 3 (12:48):
But it was an interesting.
Speaker 1 (12:51):
Circus of Yeah, it was very unexpected to me, Like
I was just really like shocked by all of it, honestly,
because I'm like it was all perfection.
Speaker 4 (13:02):
Yeah, I mean, honestly it is. I think there is
something too also, just to you kind of have like
the post wedding blues because you're you're so long, and
the thing is, it's like you want to look the
most beautiful you've ever looked on your wedding day. It
just like I don't know somebody who's ever like, oh,
I looked the best I ever looked at my wedding day.
(13:23):
Like I look at my wedding photos and I'm like,
oh no, Like the botox was off, the hair was fine.
I was in Mexico, but I had like a wavy look,
so it just looked like a shaggy dog hair. And
it's just I don't know, like it's so so much
pressure for one day. I know, I think the bride
is off and the one who has the least amount
of fun because it's just too much pressure. So don't
(13:46):
do any of that.
Speaker 2 (13:47):
Tanya getting married potentially in Mexico, listening.
Speaker 4 (13:50):
To really do a wavy look unless you use like
a really good product, it's so human, Okay, make sure
you get really good hairspray.
Speaker 3 (14:08):
Just bitten vacin, not knowing the dagger she shooting, like,
I'm not going to sleep tonight, thank you so much,
passing on her speech trauma.
Speaker 4 (14:19):
Yours is going to be beautiful. I feel like you've
really been planning every detail since you were like out
of the womb, So I'm sure it's going to be perfect.
Speaker 1 (14:28):
So it's funny you say that because she has I haven't,
and so I think that's the problem. Is like, yeah, no,
I was always so fixated on like the person that
I was going to marry, not like the wedding and
what it would look like, and so it's like I
finally got him, and now I'm like, what do I
do now?
Speaker 4 (14:45):
Yeah? Well, I mean I just I feel like it's
just too much pressure to think that everything is going
to be perfect. You just, I think more than anything,
you need to set it up so that you feel
the most comfortable. So however, you usually like feel comfortable
wearing your hair, like try anything new, right, right?
Speaker 1 (15:02):
Yeah, But I think you're so right. I think that
there is this like crazy pressure. Everybody says like the
biggest day of your life and like all this stuff,
and I'm like I'm trying to have the opposite conversation
with myself where I'm just like the biggest decision of
my life was to decide that he is my life partner.
But like the wedding is just a celebration of that,
and it's just like I'm trying to treat it like
another party, you know what I mean, like a party
(15:24):
celebration of our love, so that I'm not like so
hyper fixated on everything, because I think that's going to
like make me a little yeah, yeah, me.
Speaker 3 (15:33):
Too much, too much for your Yeah.
Speaker 4 (15:35):
Yeah, there was something kind of cool about the no
phone rule at Olivia's wedding too, because you kind of
have like version control of the content too.
Speaker 3 (15:59):
Would you ever get married again?
Speaker 4 (16:01):
Yes, I definitely want to. I'm really not worried about
like am I gonna find somebody? Am I gonna be
able to? I think what I'm experiencing a lot of
that I wasn't expecting was like people being like, oh,
kind of pitying. I feel like I've been meeting some
really cool people some really not cool people too, Like
you know, there's like there's there's just so many offs.
(16:22):
There really are a lot of efficiency.
Speaker 3 (16:24):
Yeah, and I think.
Speaker 4 (16:25):
Most importantly, like me fine tuning what it is that
I want more than anything in the dating life. I've
just been learning that there's that maybe I didn't really
know what I wanted, you know, That's that's what that's
the biggest work, like what what do I want? And
being and like not being afraid to say no, Like
that's not it for me.
Speaker 1 (16:47):
Yeah, I feel like you dated someone that was in
the public eye that we saw a lot.
Speaker 3 (16:52):
I feel like that. Yeah, I didn't know.
Speaker 1 (16:55):
Oh you didn't know that he was in the public eye.
Speaker 4 (16:58):
No, I had no, I did not know that. Well,
so he's not famous, but his friend right is quite famous, Yeah,
so or his ex fiance. So I didn't realize that
by association he was of interest to the press, which
(17:19):
was something I never would have like ever dreamed of,
because he like and it all happened right around Olivia's
wedding when there was tons of proparazzi around, so they
were seeing him and me and they were getting photos
of him and us together, and he was like kind
of suspicious that somebody was setting it up. It was
(17:40):
the whole thing was.
Speaker 1 (17:44):
Twilight because of that situation. Do you feel like you
would rather date somebody that's like not in the public
eye whatsoever, or just like whoever it is it is.
Speaker 4 (17:55):
No, I don't care for me. I didn't mind. I
didn't mind the press. If anything, I helped my podcast
a little bit. I don't care about it. Doesn't like
I think, I don't have like a very inflated sense
of self. Like I understand I'm like a F minus
list celebrity, Like a little extra press is gonna help
help my podcast. If I date somebody who's who's famous,
(18:17):
that's great, but like m it's not gonna affect the
way I feel about them. And I also am not
going to feel any big way about being in the press.
I mean, like the headlines were ridiculous, that none of
the stuff you read is true about like maybe fifty
percent of this stuff is true, but it's so salacious
(18:38):
that if anything, it's just more like kind of funny, like,
oh wow, what did they come up with now? Because
this was like not accurate?
Speaker 1 (18:46):
That is so funny because I was reading, I literally
was reading all this stuff and I was like wow,
Like I was like taken aback by all of it.
Speaker 4 (18:54):
Yeah, No, I mean it's true. Olivia was like, you
can't bring your new boyfriend to the wedding. I've never
met him before, and they ran with that and he
got so offended, not offended, didn't invite him, offended that
he was painted as this not invited person. And I
was like, can you ghet over yourself? Like a hot second,
(19:17):
you really learn about somebody by like the way that
they like people's egos are so fragile.
Speaker 1 (19:22):
Yeah, I had respected that decision.
Speaker 3 (19:26):
Honestly.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
I was like, it's a very normal like you're not
coming to my wedding.
Speaker 3 (19:30):
That's a very normal decision, right, right, right.
Speaker 4 (19:33):
That's what I didn't get about. I think maybe with him,
he was just a little scared from like being dragged
through the press in his previous relationship, and so he
was like, how am I here again? And I was like,
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (19:49):
But it's so funny because as I was reading all
this stuff about your situation, I put it into perspective
of like mine, and I was like, if one of
my bridesmaids I have, like you know, one that's like whatever, Like,
let's say we're came to me and she sorted dating
somebody knew that I hadn't met.
Speaker 3 (20:02):
She wanted to bring him to my wedding.
Speaker 1 (20:04):
I was like, that's like somebody that's so close to you,
one of my very best friends.
Speaker 3 (20:08):
Like, I feel like I would say yes, Yeah, I mean,
I don't know. I feel like you can be self.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
I also think when it's your sister, there's a different dynamics.
Speaker 4 (20:20):
She knew, like if I had really pressed her about
it and I was like, I'm in love with this person,
I really want him to be here, she would have
seen it. I didn't. It was kind of like a
joke because he really was new. I didn't really want
him to come because he didn't really want to come
because it was like a very public wedding and I
(20:43):
was really going to be really busy there. He's kind
of a shy person. It just wasn't Yeah, nobody wanted.
Nobody wanted him to be there, including him. So that
was kind of the funny thing.
Speaker 3 (20:53):
About the whole thing. So are you single right now? Oh?
Speaker 4 (21:01):
I am, but I'm dating. I like, I'm I'm dating
and it is the wild West out there. But I
met somebody who's actually so nice, so sweet, and I
don't know, we'll see. He has a kid. Oh, how
did you meet them and I met him, well, I
met him on Riah. Actually he like direct requested me. Yeah,
(21:28):
I guess it's a feature, but yeah, I don't know.
In interesting guys, same like once I should not be
on there because they're like fully married in a relationship
with yeah people, I don't know. That happened one time,
and I'm I think I am scarred. That's what I'm realizing.
(21:51):
Like the micro traumas and traumas like such a buzzword,
but it's hard not to It's hard to like remain
open date after date after date because you're just kind
of burned out. Yeah, that's how I felt like recently,
where I'm just like I was on a third date
with a guy and he kind of wanted to physically
take you to the next level. And I'm just like,
(22:12):
if I have sex with every third date, like I'm
gonna be I'm gonna have herpes. But in like a
few months, you know, it's just I don't know, it's
hard to like put the brakes on with people without
that without making them feel rejected.
Speaker 2 (22:27):
Right, It's like setting a healthy, very normal boundary, but
there's also this expectation and I also feel like at
our age, like and like you're it's like these men
expect like, oh, you're on our third date.
Speaker 3 (22:40):
I've bought you dinner three times.
Speaker 1 (22:42):
Like there is like yeah, it's so weird and like
I've had like it's actually kind of like sad to say,
but I feel like I've done some things physically that
I didn't necessarily want to do, but I feel like
I needed to do them, which is like actually such
a like that step.
Speaker 4 (22:59):
In the other day, Yeah, totally, I I got in
it over you. I've totally like I totally have had
sex just to like appease somebody to like so then
so that I didn't have to deal with what I
deal with the other night, which was the whole, like,
which is the whole my daughter she doesn't know what
(23:21):
that means yet, which was the whole, Like you know,
is there not a connection? Are you putting me in
the friend zone? And that's what he said, and I
was like, I'm not putting you in the friend zone
just because like I'm not. I don't know.
Speaker 3 (23:32):
Well, yeah, I know what it was.
Speaker 4 (23:34):
But do you guys think that that actually makes them
want you more?
Speaker 2 (23:37):
Yes?
Speaker 4 (23:37):
When you when you make wait, yes, I don't know, Okay,
that's good. I'm happy about that.
Speaker 1 (23:44):
I have like a very When I was dating, I
hit a point where I was like, I'm no longer
uh giving myself fully physically to anybody until they are
my boyfriend. And I remember I would tell all of
the guys I was dating this, and like their response
to it was very telling, like the ones that stayed
versus the ones that never called me again.
Speaker 4 (24:04):
I get that a lot when I'm not drinking, because like,
I do drink sometimes, but most of the time I don't.
And I think for first dates, men feel uncomfortable if
I'm not having a drink. And there was one guy
who was like, like, would not let it go. And
he was like, well, are you an alcoholic? I'm like no,
I just like don't want to drink because it like
(24:25):
doesn't make me feel good, and and and and then
he was like and then he like ordered me a
drink with alcohol in it. Anyway, I don't know that
guy was done. But I have a rule too, So
it's like five dates commitment or three months, and like
this is the rule that I like loosely am supposed
to supposed to follow because I have a friend of
mine who's a dating coach? And when I tell this
(24:46):
to guys, they're like, who is this if. The most
recent response was this guy being like, does your dating
coach belong to the Church of the Latter Day of
the Saints or something?
Speaker 3 (24:56):
I don't know, Like it was.
Speaker 4 (24:57):
Just so weird. I was like, no, it's just a
normal I.
Speaker 2 (25:00):
Don't know, you know, I had I really felt like
I had the attention of men because I was just
never interested. But I literally think it's it's because I
wanted to date a woman.
Speaker 4 (25:12):
Right like.
Speaker 1 (25:14):
Becca, men would flock to Becca.
Speaker 2 (25:16):
I just was like, so you were so a loose
aloof and just like uninterested that I wasn't trying to be.
It was just I was like, why do you Why
are you so desperate? Like the more desperate you are,
the less I'm interested.
Speaker 4 (25:32):
It is true that, like the morning after I rejected
that advance too, he like sends me this like mirror
selfie and I'm like, this feels like a cry for
attention kind of you.
Speaker 2 (25:44):
Know, Ah, no she rejected me, yet, let me show
her what she missed out on.
Speaker 3 (25:56):
Sick.
Speaker 1 (25:58):
Have any of the guys that you have dated, like
listen to your podcast?
Speaker 4 (26:03):
Yes, and that's one of the questions that I get
a lot too, is like, oh, when am I going
to make it on the podcast, or like are you
going to talk about this on your podcast? And that's
a little I think I did learn a lesson with
the last guy, the one who's dating the famous person.
He ended up not being happy that I had talked
about him because while he was anonymous, later he came
(26:24):
out right not so then people like could backtrack it
hear all the things that I said, which were all
nice things, they were just like, oh he came although
I did say he has two kids and they're like
in high school, and he got really weirded out by that.
I guess it's not my job to decide like how
comfortable people should be with being out a public force.
(26:45):
Just because I am doesn't mean everybody is, so I think,
rather than find that out the hard way, I just like,
don't talk about the guys as much on my podcast.
I still mention things, usually in retrospect. If I'm not
dating them anymore, but I'm currently you probably aren't going
to hear a lot about them, especially if their situations
(27:06):
are kind of delicate. You know, I'm dating guys who
are like widowed some of them some of that like divorce,
there's there's with kids. It's not like just that one
person that I have to be sensitive to, right.
Speaker 2 (27:38):
It's also like you can go on a date with
someone and if I'm imagining you go on a lot
of dates where you immediately are like, this is.
Speaker 3 (27:44):
Not the guy.
Speaker 2 (27:45):
And that's the podcast content because you're like, but what do.
Speaker 4 (27:50):
You guys think about that? I like how I'm like
totally just interviewing you guys, But do you think that
do you think the attraction can grow? Because I do
feel like one time I went on to with somebody
that I'm currently on like number three or four day with,
Like the first time we went on a date, I
was like, oh I just couldn't get over the outfit.
I hated it so much.
Speaker 3 (28:09):
Like no, see, I disagree. I disagree.
Speaker 2 (28:12):
There's because like if if someone like you, if you
help him, and because he might just have never had
someone who has style and knows how to dress well,
so like it takes one person to make him feel
good about himself and then his whole confidence change and
he's in a que outfit and you're like, oh, maybe
there's something.
Speaker 3 (28:31):
Yeah, but if it's only the.
Speaker 1 (28:33):
Outfit, I know, I feel like the face you made
made it seem like it you got like a little
bit of an ick.
Speaker 4 (28:39):
She's definitely the I did get the from the outfit
because it was and I don't think it was like
a lack of style. I think it was like that
was his personal style.
Speaker 3 (28:48):
Can you describe the alpho? We get a description of
the outfit.
Speaker 4 (28:52):
Now I feel like he might know what I'm talking,
like he hopefully he won't be listening to this. It
was very like like HIGI high wasted jeans with a
belt for man?
Speaker 3 (29:04):
How high?
Speaker 1 (29:05):
Like belly button too high?
Speaker 3 (29:09):
It was just too high for comfort for you.
Speaker 4 (29:12):
Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (29:15):
That sounds not good to me. I don't know.
Speaker 4 (29:17):
And like his heels clicked. His shoes clicked.
Speaker 3 (29:20):
Heel heels You said heels.
Speaker 4 (29:24):
I said, he had like a hard sol shoe on
and they kept clicking, and I was like, like clocks.
We were it over like loafers. They were loafers, but
they were like too clicky. I don't know.
Speaker 2 (29:37):
It's like me romping around Tanya, I just found not
won't walk around barefoot in a house. So she forgot
slippers and socks, so she's been wearing her heels around
this Airbnb.
Speaker 4 (29:50):
I feel you about the barefoot. I don't love that either,
but I wouldn't go so far.
Speaker 2 (29:54):
So I've been hearing her click around, the clacking all
more than long.
Speaker 3 (29:59):
I understand high pants and loafer quick. I don't know.
Speaker 1 (30:01):
I just feel like, if you're gonna be with this
person for the rest of your life, like that immediate
attraction and that immediate chemistry I think is like I
don't know, I.
Speaker 2 (30:13):
Agree, I agree, but I do think there are stories
where people have had a.
Speaker 3 (30:19):
First growers not showers exactly.
Speaker 2 (30:21):
Yeahh like where they've met and they were there wasn't
an instant connection, but they knew that they were like
a good person, and so they went on a second
date and continued and realized like when they didn't hear
from them, they realized they missed them, you know, but
they couldn't pinpoint it. I don't know, I never It's
my experience is so I don't have a lot of
dating experience because I, like I said, I went on
(30:43):
The Bachelor, I dated man, but I'd go on a
few dates and then I was like, oh, it'd be
it'd be like his nails were too long, and I'd like, yeah,
like I had, I had an ick for everything.
Speaker 3 (30:53):
And then I met Helen and it was like she
can do no wrong.
Speaker 2 (30:56):
She could do no like there's no eggs. Yeah, so
oh yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 4 (31:02):
Yeah, I think I'm going to try to be open
because you know, and in the past, I feel like
I've chosen the guy who, like you, want to jump
their bones right away, and that's not the long term
person for you. A lot of times, Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (31:16):
It was for me it was yeah, Like I remember
the first time I saw Robbie, I literally was like whoa,
Like Vagina was like on fire.
Speaker 3 (31:28):
Oh yeah, it was crazy.
Speaker 4 (31:31):
It's really hot though, So you lucked out. That's like
an objective fact.
Speaker 3 (31:38):
Wow, thank you so much. I appreciate that. I appreciate that.
Speaker 2 (31:42):
Okay, last night we were talking about this. We were talking
about how all of y'all play instruments? Do you play
an instrument?
Speaker 4 (31:48):
I played a piano a little bit, saying.
Speaker 2 (31:50):
Oh, oh that's right, her voice is her instruments.
Speaker 3 (31:56):
Was like, I've seen them all.
Speaker 2 (31:57):
We were talking about how her dad was saying he
that he had pushed his kids to play an instrument, and.
Speaker 1 (32:03):
I was like, I like the colbos. Yeah we all
play something.
Speaker 4 (32:07):
Yeah, wow, yeah we all we all have played everything.
Sophie used to play the basoon, so Olivia would carry
her like cello to school, so if we would have
her big instrument, I played the piano, but yeah, I
didn't really stick with it.
Speaker 3 (32:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (32:19):
I played the saxophone for a minute. So if y'all
ever need a sax player to come in, let me know.
Speaker 3 (32:26):
It was short lived.
Speaker 2 (32:27):
It was a fifth grade, fifth grade moment. But we
appreciate you coming on the podcast so much. Thanks for
taking time.
Speaker 3 (32:34):
I'm not done with her yet. I'm sorry. Okay, I
just had one more.
Speaker 1 (32:37):
Question, because you do have your podcast. Where do you
see your podcast in the next Do you have seasons?
Speaker 4 (32:44):
So kind of like just it's like a fifty two episode,
so every every week we I have an episode, and
so I guess every year is a season. So I
met season two.
Speaker 1 (32:54):
Okay, what do you see for the next couple of
seasons for Barely Filtered?
Speaker 4 (32:59):
Oh man, this is such a good question because I'm
kind of grappling with this. People love to hear the
dating stuff. I like to talk about that, but I
really love to interview people who are like optimizing their
health and in the kind of like biohacking space. And
I love that about longevity and I love that. It's
just like, does my audience love it as much as
(33:21):
I do? This is what I'm trying to kind of
figure out. So a little bit of everything, but I
think more in the health space and and of course
like social wellness, dating and how to I don't know,
be your best be your best partner. I think as
I evolved in my relationships, hopefully I'll be in a
relationship then and they'll be open to me talking about
(33:41):
it a little bit.
Speaker 2 (33:44):
I think people when it comes to like podcast podcasting,
I think people love you. So I think whatever you're
interested in translates to your audience. So even if your
audience who loves like your dating stories, you know, which
you're always your going to talk about that and you know,
at your discretion, but I think, uh, you'll find a
(34:05):
new audience who loves listening to you and the things
that you love, because that's what translates for people, you know,
like what.
Speaker 3 (34:11):
You're passionate about. Sweet Yeah, No, I think it's.
Speaker 4 (34:14):
Just believing that. It's like hard for me to wrap
my head around. But I appreciate that.
Speaker 2 (34:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (34:19):
I know.
Speaker 1 (34:19):
It's a fine line though, because like if you like,
let's say, you have to start a podcast, everbody falls
in love with like you and and what you're talking about,
and you make it a hard pivot and you're like,
I'm going to turn it into a true crime prop podcast.
Speaker 3 (34:31):
But I think there's a world.
Speaker 2 (34:33):
I think hers can blame longevity of all this and dating.
Speaker 1 (34:38):
I love biohacking. I could talk about that stuff for days.
Speaker 2 (34:41):
I know you and I.
Speaker 3 (34:45):
That's yeah, she's never referenced a b Yeah.
Speaker 1 (34:49):
Sorry, I referenced cycle sinking or whatever.
Speaker 4 (34:52):
Yeah, yeah, Anya, and my d ms are like, what
day of your cycle?
Speaker 3 (34:58):
What are you eating?
Speaker 4 (35:00):
How are you eating it?
Speaker 3 (35:01):
What are you working out?
Speaker 2 (35:02):
Yeah? I'm glad that she has you for that because
I'm like, I don't care.
Speaker 3 (35:06):
So yeah, Ing and Yang here? Yeah and Yang. I
think it's Yin and Yang? What is it? Yin Yin?
Oh wow, I've been saying it wrong for thirty seven years.
Yin and Yang. Yeah, I think you are.
Speaker 1 (35:23):
I know you have a busy day. We really appreciate
you taking the time.
Speaker 4 (35:26):
I love fun and pomp. Spring must be hot there right?
Speaker 3 (35:29):
It is hot. Yeah, it's pretty hot. But I love
having you on.
Speaker 1 (35:32):
I find you wildly entertaining, So thank you for coming on.
And everybody check out Aurora's podcast. It's called Barely Filtered.
You can get it wherever you get your podcasts.
Speaker 4 (35:44):
Yeah, thanks so much, guys. I love talking to both
of you. You're the best.
Speaker 3 (35:48):
Thanks Aurora, have a good weekend.
Speaker 4 (35:50):
Bye.
Hosts And Creators
Tanya Rad
Rebecca Tilley
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