Before we kick off Gabby and Rachel's joint season of The Bachelorette, Ben and Ashley are talking to a couple of our recent leading ladies: Becca Kufrin and Michelle Young!
We get all the details on how Becca popped the question to Thomas and Michelle shares the difficult truth behind her break-up with Nayte.
Be sure to catch part 2 of our conversation on The Bachelor Happy Hour!
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is the Benn and Ashley I Almost Famous podcast
with i R Radio. This is a very special episode.
Just like we mentioned on the former episode, there's two
bachelorttes this season. They could be competitors, they could compete
against each other, they could choose the lesser way. But
instead we know that they're supporting each other, that they're friends.
(00:21):
And here we are with one of our competitors. We
could battle it out, we could fight it out, we
could sell listeners, but instead we said, no Bachelor Happy Hour,
Let's join hands. So this is an almost famous episode
with two incredible guests, Beckat Koufern and Michelle Young. And
then part two of this episode is actually gonna be
on Bachelor Happy Hour, So go over there to listen
(00:44):
to that episode. Let's just get started. How are the
two of you doing. Let's do it great. I mean,
I can only speak for myself. I'm so good. It's
so good to see you and actually gonna miss these faces.
And for me, it's just been you know, kind of
getting back into the groove of things obviously, um, but
(01:05):
but it really is nice to be here and I
love that we're doing this and actually like conjoining and
coming together because I feel like there's so much going
on where everything is so separate. Um, so yeah, it's
nice to do this, although you can always come listen
to part two first if you really want to. I mean,
we're good with that. It does, Michelle, I'm with you,
you know when I when I heard we're doing this.
(01:27):
It is fun and this is a podcast and it's
about the bachelors, so how serious can it actually be?
But I do think it's a like a really good
example of how things could be where you're like, hey,
there's a space in this world big enough for the
both of us. Let's have fun and give both of
our insights, both podcasts insights into this upcoming season. So
actually and I are pumped to have you too, absolutely
(01:48):
so excited to nothing but love. So where should we
be good? So much to cover? Let's start with Becca
and at the engagement and all that, because we haven't
caught up with you on the podcast about that. I
know that you want to keep some things private and
he said that you wanted to keep in private for
(02:09):
a while, But are you ready to tell us all
the details? Oh yeah, I mean listen, I'm an open
book and this is such a fun time in my
life personally with Thomas that I mean, I could talk
about our engagement and the day of the proposal for hours.
So you're probably gonna need to tell me to shut that,
shut the f up at some point, Okay, for hours
(02:32):
to yeah over there smiling and I'm just over here smiling.
That's all I need, alright. So how long were you
planning the proposal start there? I had been planning it
for just over a month, about a month and a half.
It started like early April, and then I finally popped
the big question mid May. Um, so a few weeks
(02:57):
which it was a few weeks of me like try
not to have word vomit and say too much around him.
But it was such a fun process. You know, It's
something I never thought I would do in my life,
and I would say most women probably never thought that
they would do in their life. So it was really
cool just to like soak it in and be the
one to plan the proposal. Did you get down one knee?
(03:17):
Technically no, I did ask him if he wanted me to,
But we were sitting in a very tight spot with
a tent that was about to fall down behind us,
and we were under this little table with charcouterian wine.
So I was like, okay, I love you. Um, I
put the ring on his finger and I said the
right words, but I was like, do you need me
to actually get on a knee? But I did it
(03:38):
like a week later. I did it as a joke.
So I feel like that counts. You know, Becca, It's
interesting because its two years ago. You and I were
hosting Bachelor Live on stage together, traveling the country, two
very different places in life. I was just getting ready
to propose to my now wife, uh, and you were
kind of processing and figuring life out all so, you know,
(04:00):
soon after that, becoming single and then meeting Thomas. I
don't know if you remember this, but something that I
was really honored by and then I really appreciated from
me as a friend, as you called me before Paradise
and said should you go? Um, you're worried about it
for obvious reasons. You're a lead that's going to Paradise.
That's different. It's not really happening looking back now. I mean,
(04:22):
obviously you're happy you win, but does it all feel
like a whirlwind to you? Like? How are you processing
these quick changes in life that have happened. I mean,
from my perspective, it feels like it's happened so fast
in such a good way, like in such a healthy,
fun way, but like it's happened really fast. So that's
actually a question we get all the time, is you know,
(04:42):
especially like in terms of my relationship with Thomas. Now,
like you guys are already engaged, it's only been a year.
But then I think back to when I actually went
on the show, you know, when I was a contestant
on The Bachelor, and then when I was lead, like
that that's way sped up, you know, Like so for
me now, I'm like, yeah, is happening fast, But what
(05:02):
I've lived through in the past, this is kind of
drawn out a bit. But but for me, like it
just feels right, Like Thomas and I since the get go,
we're so on the same page, so in sync with
how we wanted our relationship to be, how we wanted
our future to be, how we wouldn't, you know, want
to raise a potential family one day that it just
(05:23):
it all felt right, Like nothing nothing with him has
felt forced or like we have to do something by
a certain time frame. Um, but yeah, going back to
what you just said about me going to Paradise and
not knowing if I wanted to do it and picking
your brain like that, that, yes, feels like a whirlwind.
And it's still like, I mean, I'm surprised in general
(05:44):
that I went to Paradise in the first place, but
I'm so glad that I did. And what was actually
cool about filming like that chapter of my life. And actually,
maybe you can attest to this is it feels so
different from a normal bachelor bacherette season. Like it feels
like because you have so much time with your partner
on the beach and so much alone time to like
(06:04):
have the real deep conversations that you need like that part,
Like it still feels like world. But it still felt
like I had enough time to make a decision to
come out of Paradise, like if I wanted to get
back together with this man or not, if that makes
sense one thousand per cent. Like when Jared and I
left season two, I was like, that wasn't the end
(06:26):
of this, you know, But I think that on the
main shows, you kind of are forced into thinking that, like, Okay,
it's this person or to bust, like the other people
don't count. There's definitely not a future besides anything that,
like the decision that I made right here, right now,
it's everything seems a little bit more flexible with Paradise.
(06:47):
Would you say that you being one of the few
people that kind of got to experience all three of
the franchise shows, you understand why the success right of
Paradise is greater than the others when we like do
the ratio? M hm, oh, yeah, yeah, totally. I mean
you you just spend more time with people when you're
(07:09):
on the beach, and I think it has something to
do with that. There are so many relationships that the
show is trying to catch and film and follow these
storylines that a lot of times, at least in my
experience with Thomas, our story kind of, and not to
say this in a bad way, it was actually great
for us. Our story kind of fell by the wayside
because there were other couples that you definitely knew were
probably gonna get engaged, that were, you know, fresh out
(07:31):
the gate day one, super strong and solid, and so
Thomas and I were able to spend so much time
away from the drama and the cameras to actually get
to know one another and really form a relationship, Like
I remember that. I think it was the night after
our first date. Him and I laid just in the
middle of the beach on a bean bag for probably
(07:51):
five hours straight, just talking about morals and values and
like what we learned from our last relationships and what
we want to take into a future relation ships and
like that was never aired. That was never filmed because
you know, in reality it was such a boring conversation.
But but you just spend so much more time with
your partner on the beach and and also what school
(08:12):
has seeing them interact with everyone else. It's not like
when I was a lead, I was so removed from
the men in the house because it's like you film,
you have like your certain things that you have to do,
and then they kind of take you away, right Like
I was constantly in the midst and then immersed with
Thomas and seeing how he interacted with the producers, with
other cast members, with everyone on the beach, so I
(08:32):
could get a more well rounded picture and version of
who he was, which I think really helped me come
out of paradise to be like, oh I missed that,
I want that, you know. I obviously broke up with him,
but in hindsight, I'm like, I wouldn't want to lose him. Yeah. Well,
the final question for you, Becca, until we just get
into a big old group chat because we do have
(08:52):
Michelle here and I'm really excited to catch up with Michelle.
Uh and here house she's doing in life. It's just
with four people, we gotta pick and choose our lanes
right now. But uh, Becca, I've always been intrigued by
this Um. You know, Thomas is Um. I guess people
knew him from the Bachelorette and people weren't like fans
(09:14):
of Thomas Um, especially other cast members. We got to
see that. I don't think you did. I think you
were already gone by the time that was kind of airing.
I've got to know still saw Oh you still saw good? Well,
this even makes it juice here. I've gotten to meet
Thomas a few times now. I think the world of him.
I think he's a great dude. Obviously you think the
(09:34):
world of him. You're engaged to him, So that's a
good start. Did you Was that hard for you, though,
um to work through that? Did that? Did that ever
pop into your mind? Like, Hey, is this really the
guy that that I know? Like, how did you deal
with knowing that his perception on the Bachelor it was
not good and then allowing yourself to fall in love
with that guy. Yeah, so it was definitely I don't
(09:58):
want to curse much on here, but like a mind
f I would say, because I was leaving with him
on the beach, seeing him interact with everyone, and then
I was also, you know, once a week going back
to watch an episode quick and to recap and podcasts,
and so I was seeing who he was in real life.
And keep in mind, like when we were filming on
(10:18):
that beach, guys from a season where there James lived
on the beach with us, Aaron was there. Um, I
can't even think of who, Like, there were some other
guys there and they all got along like they're cool.
And so I'm watching like the drama play out on
the show and like seeing what Aaron, especially as saying
about Thomas and then seeing them like brow it out
on the beach and I'm like, is this all for TV?
(10:40):
You know? I get that people will say and do
certain things, and like, yes, the show added to Thomas
to be the quote unquote villain, but like at the
end of the day was he he He personally wasn't
fighting with anyone, saying anything about other people. Guys just
didn't like him because he's he admitted to being like, yeah,
I could be the Bachelor, like it it's crossed my mind,
(11:01):
like that is a possibility to come from. I loved
his honesty so much, and we talked about that. We
were like, this guy is being villainis or being honest
and all these other guys are lying at that thought
is not in their head. Yeah, And like from what
I've gathered now from not only Thomas, but other guys
that lived on that season, because I just did the
tour with several of them, Like, I don't know how
(11:22):
much we can include here, but like there was a
conversation one night from I'm not going to say who
it was, but somebody that was on Paradise. Thomas was
the guy to be like, hey, have like this is crazy.
At the end of this one of us here in
this house is going to be the badgeler. Have you
guys thought about that? And that's what kick started the
actual conversation the next day that was filmed to then
(11:43):
make Thomas look like this bad guy. And so there's
like so many little pieces that no one will ever realize.
But yeah, at first it was very tough for me
because I was like, I'm getting to know Thomas on
the speech. He seems like a great dude. He's getting
along with everyone. There's no issues that I'm witnessing in
real life, so what the hell is going on? And
then I finally got out of Paradise and I had
(12:03):
to be like, like, it's all kind of on the
show and editing at this point, like I know Thomas,
like I've seen him interact with people from the show
and outside of the show now, and I love who
he is, so I'm going to trust myself and go
with that. And finally when I kind of just brushed
everything off and I was like, people are gonna hate
anyone regardless, like based on the TV show edit or not,
Like I can't let that affect me in my relationship.
(12:25):
I just kind of got to the point where I
was like f everything else and like I picked this man.
We're together, and like that's that's where has my heart,
That's where my loyalty lies. I remember like that even
like the first time I met Thomas and I had
like seen this edit right, and like back at you
and I are close where Minnesota girls and that I'm protective.
I think it was like in the first five minutes,
(12:48):
I'm like, Okay, something he's not adding up here, like
the edit went completely wrong. Whatever it was. All I
think now is how like this man is the nicest
man I've ever met. He's so thoughtful. I remember he
packed me a bag of snacks, Like, not, didn't you
ask him to you? Yeah? He like, Hey, Michelle, I
(13:08):
know you have a really long rest of your day
when we're doing like a photo shooter stuff um for
like all the podcasts, And he's like, I packed you
a bag of snacks because I know that you said
you're hungry and you have a long day ahead of you.
And I'm like, that's just him and yeah, and it's
it's so like it is so genuine and it's just
(13:30):
who he is. And he's constantly thinking about other people. First.
He's constantly checking in and like connecting with people, whether
you are you know what I mean, like a well
known person or somebody else. Like he just he's just
so so so genuine and thoughtful. Can we talk about
(13:58):
possibly the fact that these guys were intimidated by him?
Because he is like six ft five and gorgeous and
super nice. I mean that's what people have said that before, like,
and I think Demi or Marissa and somebody last season
on the Beach said like these guys are just jealous
of him because like they want to be Like, I
don't know, I just like the whole jealousy thing just
(14:20):
seems so juvenile to me, of like you're actually gonna
hate this person because of like how tall they are.
But I don't know. I don't know how guys minds operate. Man,
maybe you can speak more to that, but all I
can say is at the end of the day, like
he's cool with everyone that you know, the show showed
that he had beef with um so I don't know.
(14:43):
I saw I saw Thomas at my wedding. I was jealous.
I was like, this is my wedding day. Is something
that guys really like they do get intimidated by. Don't
act like I'm a short dude, No no, no, not you.
But like Jared looking up Thomas, like it's the kind
of thing that he'll continue. He dared six foot but
like if he's looking up at a guy, we'll leave
(15:07):
the party and He'll be like, man that Thomas like, wow,
they really laughing because we're talking about how like height
is something that guys really mattered. And then then you
chime in, I'm bothered by the night we don't and
I'm like, all right, before we move on from Becca,
(15:29):
I do have one I one question. I just have
to ask. You got engaged twice on TV and both
of those engagements went. Did you feel like you were
taking the power back when you decided to be the
one to propose that play a factor? Um? I don't
know if I would say taking the power back, but
(15:50):
I just felt like I finally was at the point
where I had a choice, you know, like I feel
like only in the show as a contestant on our
season and then being lead, like there is such a
pressure to get engaged at the end. And realistically, in hindsight,
now would it have been a thousand times smarter of
(16:12):
me to be like, look, I picked this person, I'm
in love with them, but I'm not ready to get
engaged a thousand percent Like that's maybe what should have happened,
But you know, you kind of get sucked into this
world and you feel that pressure, and so yes, I said,
you know, yes, I will marry these other people when
they've asked me very much on somebody else's terms. That
(16:32):
I kind of just felt like I finally have a
partner where we have the same goals in life, especially
in terms of this relationship. And it was more so
me just wanting to show him how committed I am
and like how I want to meet him halfway and
so I mean, I'm not gonna lie. It felt really
damn good to kind of be the one, not even
in control because I don't want to use that word,
(16:53):
but to say like I'm meeting you halfway and like
I finally have a say in my next engagement like
the first who I didn't really whatsoever, And now we
can do this together and start this new part of
our relationship together however we want. And so that was
really special. Like I made a comment once um in
(17:14):
another interview of like Thomas being like the first guy
actually want to marry and they'll probably weren't the right words,
but like Thomas is the first guy that I like
proactively want to be engaged to on my timing and
I proactively want to plan a wedding with Okay, if
that makes sense I was going to ask you about
that because I recently read that and I was like,
I could see you saying that about Ari. But you
(17:36):
were with Garrett and happily for a while. Yeah, but
we were at the place where like we had never
planned anything for a wedding, Like we never got to
that stage where I was like, I want to take
this next step. I want to solidify this, like and
even when I was in that relationship, like guess there
was love and we were committed to each other for
two and a half years, but we were never ready
(17:57):
to take that next step and like be all in
and like join our lives together, if that makes sense.
And like Thomas is the first guy that I actually
want to do that where I'm like, Okay, maybe marriage
actually is for me and I want to do this now.
Yeah the uh I just sitting here thinking, Um, if
it wasn't for your situation with Ari, you wouldn't have
(18:17):
been the bachelor atte. If you wouldn't have been the bachelor,
you would have never met Garrett, who then kept you
within the franchise long enough to then go on Paradise.
Don't go on Paradise. You wouldn't have found the love
of your life, Thomas, and we're so happy for you. Becca.
It's just weird how things work out. Which transitions. Um
always easy, it's not always fun. I've been That was
(18:40):
my trans going here A continued Michelle. You we're gonna
start by saying, hey, you're not alone. First off in
this group with Becca and I here, we've both had
um some really like like truly life hard, real difficult
(19:03):
scenarios through this franchise and had to then figure out
how to talk about him air amount in the public eye.
And it sucks. So, Um, answer what you want, don't
answer what you don't want. It's just a really hard time.
But how are you doing? I guess would be how
I start this is how are you holding up? Um?
(19:24):
It's been quite a transition, I would say, Um, just
because you know this year I decided to step away
from the classroom this following school year just because I've
been so burnt out and just really wanting to, you know,
get out of that survival mode. Um. I kind of
(19:47):
feel like life has taken this thing is like oh
gay challenge accepted and like here like deal with a breakup. Um,
It's it's definitely not something that I planned to have
to work through this summer UM, but I've definitely have
the understanding that, like, sometimes we have to work through
things that we did not plan for um or that
(20:09):
we're not in our life plans. And so I really
am just leaning on my friends family for support, UM
and and it's been really helpful, I guess, to just
kind of maintain, you know, that layer that I can
kind of now start working from. So you have your
good days, you have your bad days. You know, it
comes and goes in waves. When you intended on stepping
(20:32):
back from teaching for a while, was that with the
intention of spending more time with Nate and like living
together in some place. Yeah, I think, Um, I would
say that I'm very like Nate and I are very
independent people. UM. But at that same time, you know,
(20:54):
I really I personally want to work towards different things. Right,
We're into different places. Um. He's in Austin, I'm in Minnesota.
Long distances difficult, but um, but yeah, I think that
you know, having this summer off and being able to
step away from teaching, that would have happened regardless of
a relationship, regardless of you know, influencing whatever you want
(21:19):
to call it just because I really needed to take
a breath out of teaching. Um, But would that have
resulted in spending more time with Nate. Yeah, it's naturally,
you know. Yeah, it's such a weird time to Michelle
and people wonder about this, but I remember at the
end of my relationship with Lauren, people still expected I mean,
(21:41):
we saw it red headlines like hey, you aren't together,
or hey, you're not posting together as much, or you're
not commenting on the pictures and then so there was
a moment in my relationship. I mean, and this just
feels so weird now thinking back, but it was like, hey,
we need to take a picture together so people stop asking,
or we need to uh film with video of us
laughing because we're so happy and in and behind the
(22:03):
scenes were like, hey, we haven't talked to each other
in two weeks, like really talk to each other how
And I can't do that? It just let me just
do that. I can't do that, you know, because I like,
if I'm in a very committed relationship with somebody, and
and this is no like shade towards anybody, Like everyone
(22:23):
truly does handle this the best that they can. I
feel like, you know, to each their own. Um. No,
I just I'm not a person who I've never really
been on social media period um, and it's something that's
still kind of new to me and being able to
like show everybody what I'm doing, what I'm like updates
(22:45):
and things like that. Um. And so yeah, there was
never a time for me that I'm like, we need
to post this picture so that we can act like
this or take this video. Um. You know with the video,
I know that there's like a lot out of headlines
or whatever about the video where I was talking about
the engagement ring and like somebody videoing me and my
(23:07):
friend taking it and everyone's like we should have known,
like she faked it this and that, and like I'm
up here sitting like like this is why I don't
ever respond to the internet, because that did not age
well Like that did not But damn yeah. But no,
I just I I really truly believe in reflecting how
(23:29):
you feel. And I think that's kind of why I've
stepped away from social media, because I've had to take
this time to kind of work on myself and find
that inner piece. Um, you know, and I'm not good
with posting if things aren't okay again, like what Ben said,
If anything it feels too personal, don't feel obligated to
(23:51):
ask this is so fresh for you, but do you
feel like when you got off the show, you guys
felt bliss happiness that was going to last a super
long time, or did you have doubts as soon as
you guys wrapped the show, like was this a breakup
that you kind of foresaw or was this sudden? Um?
(24:15):
I think where I'm like struggling with this pieces. It's
like you never know how much to say, you never
know how to handle it, you never know how it's
going to be taken. Um. But I will say that
like this is not something that I foresaw and I'll
leave it there. Well. Uh, final really question around this
because there's no use of continuing to absolutely hammer in
(24:38):
someone else's pain on a podcast. But who is there
for you right now? Michelle? Like who stepped up? Then?
Your support system? What kind of advice are they giving
you or what are they doing to help? Um? The
reason I asked this is because I'm sure there's other
people out there to have gone through breakups and they
don't know how to get help. UM, So what have
you found to be helpful right now. Yeah, you know,
(25:01):
I have, like I said before, really started to lean
on my family and friends, UM, and have had you know,
two of my friends, Tianne Brooke, who we I took
off to Iceland with on a spontaneous trip to just
you know disconnect um and my mom, my dad, siblings,
(25:21):
and then just you know Becca, another bachelorat's reaching out
that kind of have been through situations like this, And
I feel like I've been able to reach out to
different people depending on you know, kind of what I needed.
So like, for example, Becca has been through you know,
a relation public relationship ending, and you know Rachel, Lindsay
(25:44):
and and Tasia and Caitlin have all been through this
and they're able to offer certain advice. And then you know,
I have some really close friends who are also able to, um,
really know who I am and really know things that
you know, they just get me, They get what hurts,
they get my response is to to certain things, and
(26:08):
they're able to sit there and kind of help me
sort through things. And so it's been hard. Um, it's
been very emotional, and there's been a lot of waves
of things. But to have family and friends who go
on those waves with you and are willing to take
in those waves with you. Has been just incredible. Yeah,
(26:30):
well I'd be I'd be a bad, bad podcast host
if I didn't ask a question on behalf of the
fandom who are very very curious to know what happened
to the down payment for the house? Answer as you'd like, UM,
is you know that that was money that was gifted
(26:51):
to both of us. UM. And I think that's something
that you know, is going to be decided how that's
going to be utilized going forward. UM. For me personally,
you know, I haven't officially decided, but I you know,
kind of have started putting some different things in place
(27:12):
to give back, you know, to to build an organization
or you know, just promote the change that I've been
talking about. UM. You know, and I think that would
be something that i'd feel really good about. Yeah. It's
(27:33):
literally been crying on the phone with one of the producers,
you know, like it's been emotional. I've been crying on
the phone. I don't have producers and like, but we
can I give this money? I can I create this
to give them money like to somebody else. It's just
like I just that's something I feel good about I
And that's yeah, I know that's been the million dollar question,
(27:54):
no pun intended, but it's been a lot. Michelle, you
are the greatest catch of of all, Like holy crap,
holy like not only like is your beauty just absolutely
(28:18):
like out of this world, but like your beauty inside,
your intelligence, the way your grace, the way you handle yourself,
Like there is never been one person that I've been
less concerned about finding her happily ever after. And and
I don't really know you personally very well, but like
you are gonna be so so good, and this is
(28:40):
a period of life that you'll get over and one
day you'll be like that was a moment of growth,
and I am so happy of where I ended up.
I really I that means a lot, actually, and I
know that you know, I've had like, you know, a
few exchanges and every thing. And I'll be honest. I
(29:01):
was talking to Becca yesterday of like I'm nervous to
get back on and start podcasting, right because I don't know,
when you're away from something, you need to take that
time and I understand that, but coming back also like
there's anxiety around it, and I'm such a positive person
or like a happy, bubbly person typically and right now
(29:23):
I'm not always that, and I know that's okay, but
like I didn't want to come on and be like,
you know, I want to talk about Becca's engagement, and
I want to talk about Actley and your baby and
then everything that's going on your life, and then I'm
like I'm over here and I'm like that there's just
like this like negative you know, you know, like that
that that Charlie Brown Halloween episode, like I got a
(29:45):
candy bar, I got a sector, I got a rock,
but I got I got this, I got a rock,
like the show. I'm like, day that's gonna really I
truly feel like this moment, like even though you feel
so low and you don't necess rearely know where to
turn or like what your life's gonna look like, I
honestly think this is going to be the catalyst for
like one of the most beautiful, as actually just said,
(30:08):
like times of growth in your life and everything. I mean,
and I can say this from experience because you know,
we've all been through breakups and then you can test
we've been through public breakups, but like everything just preps
you for what's to come. And I think with you,
you have such a beautiful soul that it's only going
to benefit you in the long run. Yeah, And when
(30:30):
you look back on these moments of darkness, when it
didn't end up with the you didn't end up with
the person that you so imagine yourself ending up with,
and it's weirdly nostalgic. Like when you get past it
and you end up finding the person that you're with,
you look back at those moments and you're like, man,
I suffered so much heartbreak, but it really did get
(30:54):
me to this. It's such a weird thing. It's hard
to describe. It's like one of those things where it's
like I need to take my heart and soul out
and put it into somebody else. And then they're like,
oh this feeling, Yeah, I know this feeling. It's so weird.
But that's exactly. And I think, you know, I like
breakups suck, breakups are awful. I don't know, I just
(31:15):
they they hurt, right, And I think what's so difficult
is that it sometimes feels like it's like not in
your control, right, Like you wake up and you sometimes
days you just feel like Okay, I just have to
have a time passed like with time, give it time,
but like you can't always like speed up that time, right,
you can't always like speed up healing. You can put
in the work, but you can't always speed it up. Um.
(31:38):
But it is like the situation where I'm like, this
is not how the story ends for me. This is
not you know, like where I'm at right now emotionally, mentally,
like how my heart feels like, this is not how
the story ends. And I deserve to, you know, really
make it to that point where I get those things
and so yeah, but it is hard to remember. I
(32:00):
may be calling you guys for a reminder here, and
it's like this is just a building block, Like every
relationship that doesn't work out is a building block to
help you learn what you want, what you don't want
in your next relationship. Yeah. Absolutely, It's like every morning
look at yourself in the mirror and be like, my
family is happy, healthy and safe, and I am stunning,
(32:21):
as as my morning hair that I sleep with with
wet hair didn't wash, my face is like tinked. Everywhere
looks stunning. Right now, I was actually not gonna make up.
I was gonna say, like You've gone through the ringer
in this past month and you've still looked like a ten.
You're studying your glowing. I'm like, what is your secret?
(32:44):
Even have a makeup on right now? This is just
your faces? My god, isn't it? Isn't it so annoying? Actually?
This is no, because no, you should have called me.
You should have called me, like, what ever when this
first went done? Nah, it was bad. It's bad. I'm
(33:05):
sure I have a picture somewhere I Michelle. If as
we close up here, because we do have a very
special episode of Bachelor Happy Hour to get to, uh, well,
we're gonna be breaking down a lot of the bachelorrette.
I think we're gonna talk about that. You guys are
hosting it, so you know, Uh, here's a good story
for you to close out on, Michelle. I don't know
if I make you feel any better or worse. I
(33:27):
feel like this is one of those times when your
dad tells you a story and it's like symbolic. Ye. Maybe, Um,
I agree with everything Becca and Ashley have said, and
I'm sure many people in your life have told you
all of those things and they're all true, and so
you just gotta believe him at some point. Maybe not now. Um,
you could still hurt for a bit, but at some
point you're just gonna have to believe that these people
(33:48):
are not lying to you. You're gorgeous, You're a catch,
you are whatever is in the future is all going
to make sense. We just talked about it with Rebecca.
But um, really funny story I've never shared publicly, and
I'll probably get fired for it. That's okay, Um, I'm
not getting fired. I feel honored to be the reason
I am going through a breakup. Um. We announced it
(34:12):
publicly on a Tuesday. I had already been under contracts
and we had already scheduled our very first almost famous
episode on that Thursday. Um, so we announced it Tuesday
because it just needed to happen, like it was time.
We had it was we we needed to tell people.
And so it comes out and I'm broke, like I'm
(34:33):
I'm I'm sad, I'm a mess, And I call my
heart and I say, hey, can we not record this week?
I'm not in the place, and they say, no, this
is perfect, It's time. Everybody's listen. And so on a Thursday,
I had to get on a podcast and say a
(34:53):
bunch of stuff that I didn't even know what I
was saying because I didn't know how I felt. Uh.
And then over time things get better and you can
begin to move forward, and I wish the best for you,
and I'm glad you're back, and I'm glad we're doing
this together. This has been really fun. Hey, I do
have to ask you this because our listeners need a
little teaser um going into Bachelor Happy Hour in a
(35:13):
minute thirty seconds, what are both your thoughts on this
coming season of The Bachelorette as we move forward into
part two over on Bachelor Happy Hour? Oh, Michelle, you
want to start? No, you start? Um? Okay, I will
try to be concise. I am excited and intrigued because
this is something we've never seen before throughout an entire season,
(35:34):
having two leads. I'm skeptical because I, in no way,
shape or form want these two women who are now
the leads and in this huge pressure situation to be
pitted against one another. And all I'm gonna say is,
if they're going to have two women leads at some point,
we better be seeing two mal leads in one season.
(35:55):
We did, so, just to let you know, I think Ashley.
Ashley and I just discovered this yesterday that there has
been two bachelors on a season before. We didn't know this.
There has way back, way back. Wait, so a duel.
So two guys the entire season season? Who was it?
I don't even remember their names are really on in
(36:17):
the two thousands archives? Know No, is it Brian or
is it Byron? Byron and a guy we don't know. Okay,
we need to see a current. I don't disagree with you.
I'm just saying we said the same thing yesterday and
they were like, no, they have so alright, Yeah, Michelle,
(36:37):
we were so confused because when Caitlin and Britt happened,
nobody brought this up either. We gotta I need the archives,
I need the lost footage. I need to see this
like did and they showed both men equally or did
one just kind of fall by the wayside? One guy
knocked off here? So it was the same like the
whole Caitlin situation, right, but not at the same time
(36:58):
where two leads have gone through the higher process. Here
we go. We got the recap in September two, Velvic
and Jay over by a forty year old real estate
agent from New Jersey were selected as candidates for the
Bachelor for season six, but their candidates like were they
both together? I think so night one? We need a
(37:19):
full season. Yeah, I need to go back and watch that.
And I also want to know, like what are you
all up to? And why don't we know who you are?
Like why why we first say oh, yeah, it's Byron
and unknown guy? You guys, we're gonna now fight as
to who's going to get these two unknown guys on
our podcast one and we'll get one. Wait, we want
(37:43):
the guy who went home night one, just to just
to give him some some good love. He's like, nobody's
talked to me in twenty years. I don't know what, Michelle,
what are your thoughts? I'm I'm excited, um, just for
both of them, because they both seem like they're going
to handle themselves in a very like a sea way, right.
I think that they went into it with a really
(38:04):
solid friendship, and I think that's something that they seem
like they would continue to work on and like work
past issues as it goes on. Um, I feel like
it's going to get a little intense, though, I mean,
it's kind of naive to not think that, you know,
there's not going to be drama with everything, but yeah,
I'm excited for them both. Um, I'm super interested in
(38:25):
watching this is Yeah, we're gonna have a lot to
talk talk about. Is what I feel like throughout this
whole season. Well I agree. Alright, guys, well it's time
for us to wrap up and head over to your territory,
so please sign out with us until next time. I've
been Ashley, I've been Becca. I can't We're still doing this.
(38:47):
Four years later, five years later, Oh my god, bye bye.
Followed the Benn and Ashley I Almost Famous podcasts on
I Heart Radio or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts.
This is the Benn and Ashley I Almost Famous podcast
with i R Radio. This is a very special episode.
Just like we mentioned on the former episode, there's two
bachelorttes this season. They could be competitors, they could compete
against each other, they could choose the lesser way. But
instead we know that they're supporting each other, that they're friends.
(00:21):
And here we are with one of our competitors. We
could battle it out, we could fight it out, we
could sell listeners, but instead we said, no Bachelor Happy Hour,
Let's join hands. So this is an almost famous episode
with two incredible guests, Beckat Koufern and Michelle Young. And
then part two of this episode is actually gonna be
on Bachelor Happy Hour, So go over there to listen
(00:44):
to that episode. Let's just get started. How are the
two of you doing. Let's do it great. I mean,
I can only speak for myself. I'm so good. It's
so good to see you and actually gonna miss these faces.
And for me, it's just been you know, kind of
getting back into the groove of things obviously, um, but
(01:05):
but it really is nice to be here and I
love that we're doing this and actually like conjoining and
coming together because I feel like there's so much going
on where everything is so separate. Um, so yeah, it's
nice to do this, although you can always come listen
to part two first if you really want to. I mean,
we're good with that. It does, Michelle, I'm with you,
you know when I when I heard we're doing this.
(01:27):
It is fun and this is a podcast and it's
about the bachelors, so how serious can it actually be?
But I do think it's a like a really good
example of how things could be where you're like, hey,
there's a space in this world big enough for the
both of us. Let's have fun and give both of
our insights, both podcasts insights into this upcoming season. So
actually and I are pumped to have you too, absolutely
(01:48):
so excited to nothing but love. So where should we
be good? So much to cover? Let's start with Becca
and at the engagement and all that, because we haven't
caught up with you on the podcast about that. I
know that you want to keep some things private and
he said that you wanted to keep in private for
(02:09):
a while, But are you ready to tell us all
the details? Oh yeah, I mean listen, I'm an open
book and this is such a fun time in my
life personally with Thomas that I mean, I could talk
about our engagement and the day of the proposal for hours.
So you're probably gonna need to tell me to shut that,
shut the f up at some point, Okay, for hours
(02:32):
to yeah over there smiling and I'm just over here smiling.
That's all I need, alright. So how long were you
planning the proposal start there? I had been planning it
for just over a month, about a month and a half.
It started like early April, and then I finally popped
the big question mid May. Um, so a few weeks
(02:57):
which it was a few weeks of me like try
not to have word vomit and say too much around him.
But it was such a fun process. You know, It's
something I never thought I would do in my life,
and I would say most women probably never thought that
they would do in their life. So it was really
cool just to like soak it in and be the
one to plan the proposal. Did you get down one knee?
(03:17):
Technically no, I did ask him if he wanted me to,
But we were sitting in a very tight spot with
a tent that was about to fall down behind us,
and we were under this little table with charcouterian wine.
So I was like, okay, I love you. Um, I
put the ring on his finger and I said the
right words, but I was like, do you need me
to actually get on a knee? But I did it
(03:38):
like a week later. I did it as a joke.
So I feel like that counts. You know, Becca, It's
interesting because its two years ago. You and I were
hosting Bachelor Live on stage together, traveling the country, two
very different places in life. I was just getting ready
to propose to my now wife, uh, and you were
kind of processing and figuring life out all so, you know,
(04:00):
soon after that, becoming single and then meeting Thomas. I
don't know if you remember this, but something that I
was really honored by and then I really appreciated from
me as a friend, as you called me before Paradise
and said should you go? Um, you're worried about it
for obvious reasons. You're a lead that's going to Paradise.
That's different. It's not really happening looking back now. I mean,
(04:22):
obviously you're happy you win, but does it all feel
like a whirlwind to you? Like? How are you processing
these quick changes in life that have happened. I mean,
from my perspective, it feels like it's happened so fast
in such a good way, like in such a healthy,
fun way, but like it's happened really fast. So that's
actually a question we get all the time, is you know,
(04:42):
especially like in terms of my relationship with Thomas. Now,
like you guys are already engaged, it's only been a year.
But then I think back to when I actually went
on the show, you know, when I was a contestant
on The Bachelor, and then when I was lead, like
that that's way sped up, you know, Like so for
me now, I'm like, yeah, is happening fast, But what
(05:02):
I've lived through in the past, this is kind of
drawn out a bit. But but for me, like it
just feels right, Like Thomas and I since the get go,
we're so on the same page, so in sync with
how we wanted our relationship to be, how we wanted
our future to be, how we wouldn't, you know, want
to raise a potential family one day that it just
(05:23):
it all felt right, Like nothing nothing with him has
felt forced or like we have to do something by
a certain time frame. Um, but yeah, going back to
what you just said about me going to Paradise and
not knowing if I wanted to do it and picking
your brain like that, that, yes, feels like a whirlwind.
And it's still like, I mean, I'm surprised in general
(05:44):
that I went to Paradise in the first place, but
I'm so glad that I did. And what was actually
cool about filming like that chapter of my life. And actually,
maybe you can attest to this is it feels so
different from a normal bachelor bacherette season. Like it feels
like because you have so much time with your partner
on the beach and so much alone time to like
(06:04):
have the real deep conversations that you need like that part,
Like it still feels like world. But it still felt
like I had enough time to make a decision to
come out of Paradise, like if I wanted to get
back together with this man or not, if that makes
sense one thousand per cent. Like when Jared and I
left season two, I was like, that wasn't the end
(06:26):
of this, you know, But I think that on the
main shows, you kind of are forced into thinking that, like, Okay,
it's this person or to bust, like the other people
don't count. There's definitely not a future besides anything that,
like the decision that I made right here, right now,
it's everything seems a little bit more flexible with Paradise.
(06:47):
Would you say that you being one of the few
people that kind of got to experience all three of
the franchise shows, you understand why the success right of
Paradise is greater than the others when we like do
the ratio? M hm, oh, yeah, yeah, totally. I mean
you you just spend more time with people when you're
(07:09):
on the beach, and I think it has something to
do with that. There are so many relationships that the
show is trying to catch and film and follow these
storylines that a lot of times, at least in my
experience with Thomas, our story kind of, and not to
say this in a bad way, it was actually great
for us. Our story kind of fell by the wayside
because there were other couples that you definitely knew were
probably gonna get engaged, that were, you know, fresh out
(07:31):
the gate day one, super strong and solid, and so
Thomas and I were able to spend so much time
away from the drama and the cameras to actually get
to know one another and really form a relationship, Like
I remember that. I think it was the night after
our first date. Him and I laid just in the
middle of the beach on a bean bag for probably
(07:51):
five hours straight, just talking about morals and values and
like what we learned from our last relationships and what
we want to take into a future relation ships and
like that was never aired. That was never filmed because
you know, in reality it was such a boring conversation.
But but you just spend so much more time with
your partner on the beach and and also what school
(08:12):
has seeing them interact with everyone else. It's not like
when I was a lead, I was so removed from
the men in the house because it's like you film,
you have like your certain things that you have to do,
and then they kind of take you away, right Like
I was constantly in the midst and then immersed with
Thomas and seeing how he interacted with the producers, with
other cast members, with everyone on the beach, so I
(08:32):
could get a more well rounded picture and version of
who he was, which I think really helped me come
out of paradise to be like, oh I missed that,
I want that, you know. I obviously broke up with him,
but in hindsight, I'm like, I wouldn't want to lose him. Yeah. Well,
the final question for you, Becca, until we just get
into a big old group chat because we do have
(08:52):
Michelle here and I'm really excited to catch up with Michelle.
Uh and here house she's doing in life. It's just
with four people, we gotta pick and choose our lanes
right now. But uh, Becca, I've always been intrigued by
this Um. You know, Thomas is Um. I guess people
knew him from the Bachelorette and people weren't like fans
(09:14):
of Thomas Um, especially other cast members. We got to
see that. I don't think you did. I think you
were already gone by the time that was kind of airing.
I've got to know still saw Oh you still saw good? Well,
this even makes it juice here. I've gotten to meet
Thomas a few times now. I think the world of him.
I think he's a great dude. Obviously you think the
(09:34):
world of him. You're engaged to him, So that's a
good start. Did you Was that hard for you, though,
um to work through that? Did that? Did that ever
pop into your mind? Like, Hey, is this really the
guy that that I know? Like, how did you deal
with knowing that his perception on the Bachelor it was
not good and then allowing yourself to fall in love
with that guy. Yeah, so it was definitely I don't
(09:58):
want to curse much on here, but like a mind
f I would say, because I was leaving with him
on the beach, seeing him interact with everyone, and then
I was also, you know, once a week going back
to watch an episode quick and to recap and podcasts,
and so I was seeing who he was in real life.
And keep in mind, like when we were filming on
(10:18):
that beach, guys from a season where there James lived
on the beach with us, Aaron was there. Um, I
can't even think of who, Like, there were some other
guys there and they all got along like they're cool.
And so I'm watching like the drama play out on
the show and like seeing what Aaron, especially as saying
about Thomas and then seeing them like brow it out
on the beach and I'm like, is this all for TV?
(10:40):
You know? I get that people will say and do
certain things, and like, yes, the show added to Thomas
to be the quote unquote villain, but like at the
end of the day was he he He personally wasn't
fighting with anyone, saying anything about other people. Guys just
didn't like him because he's he admitted to being like, yeah,
I could be the Bachelor, like it it's crossed my mind,
(11:01):
like that is a possibility to come from. I loved
his honesty so much, and we talked about that. We
were like, this guy is being villainis or being honest
and all these other guys are lying at that thought
is not in their head. Yeah, And like from what
I've gathered now from not only Thomas, but other guys
that lived on that season, because I just did the
tour with several of them, Like, I don't know how
(11:22):
much we can include here, but like there was a
conversation one night from I'm not going to say who
it was, but somebody that was on Paradise. Thomas was
the guy to be like, hey, have like this is crazy.
At the end of this one of us here in
this house is going to be the badgeler. Have you
guys thought about that? And that's what kick started the
actual conversation the next day that was filmed to then
(11:43):
make Thomas look like this bad guy. And so there's
like so many little pieces that no one will ever realize.
But yeah, at first it was very tough for me
because I was like, I'm getting to know Thomas on
the speech. He seems like a great dude. He's getting
along with everyone. There's no issues that I'm witnessing in
real life, so what the hell is going on? And
then I finally got out of Paradise and I had
(12:03):
to be like, like, it's all kind of on the
show and editing at this point, like I know Thomas,
like I've seen him interact with people from the show
and outside of the show now, and I love who
he is, so I'm going to trust myself and go
with that. And finally when I kind of just brushed
everything off and I was like, people are gonna hate
anyone regardless, like based on the TV show edit or not,
Like I can't let that affect me in my relationship.
(12:25):
I just kind of got to the point where I
was like f everything else and like I picked this man.
We're together, and like that's that's where has my heart,
That's where my loyalty lies. I remember like that even
like the first time I met Thomas and I had
like seen this edit right, and like back at you
and I are close where Minnesota girls and that I'm protective.
I think it was like in the first five minutes,
(12:48):
I'm like, Okay, something he's not adding up here, like
the edit went completely wrong. Whatever it was. All I
think now is how like this man is the nicest
man I've ever met. He's so thoughtful. I remember he
packed me a bag of snacks, Like, not, didn't you
ask him to you? Yeah? He like, Hey, Michelle, I
(13:08):
know you have a really long rest of your day
when we're doing like a photo shooter stuff um for
like all the podcasts, And he's like, I packed you
a bag of snacks because I know that you said
you're hungry and you have a long day ahead of you.
And I'm like, that's just him and yeah, and it's
it's so like it is so genuine and it's just
(13:30):
who he is. And he's constantly thinking about other people. First.
He's constantly checking in and like connecting with people, whether
you are you know what I mean, like a well
known person or somebody else. Like he just he's just
so so so genuine and thoughtful. Can we talk about
(13:58):
possibly the fact that these guys were intimidated by him?
Because he is like six ft five and gorgeous and
super nice. I mean that's what people have said that before, like,
and I think Demi or Marissa and somebody last season
on the Beach said like these guys are just jealous
of him because like they want to be Like, I
don't know, I just like the whole jealousy thing just
(14:20):
seems so juvenile to me, of like you're actually gonna
hate this person because of like how tall they are.
But I don't know. I don't know how guys minds operate. Man,
maybe you can speak more to that, but all I
can say is at the end of the day, like
he's cool with everyone that you know, the show showed
that he had beef with um so I don't know.
(14:43):
I saw I saw Thomas at my wedding. I was jealous.
I was like, this is my wedding day. Is something
that guys really like they do get intimidated by. Don't
act like I'm a short dude, No no, no, not you.
But like Jared looking up Thomas, like it's the kind
of thing that he'll continue. He dared six foot but
like if he's looking up at a guy, we'll leave
(15:07):
the party and He'll be like, man that Thomas like, wow,
they really laughing because we're talking about how like height
is something that guys really mattered. And then then you
chime in, I'm bothered by the night we don't and
I'm like, all right, before we move on from Becca,
(15:29):
I do have one I one question. I just have
to ask. You got engaged twice on TV and both
of those engagements went. Did you feel like you were
taking the power back when you decided to be the
one to propose that play a factor? Um? I don't
know if I would say taking the power back, but
(15:50):
I just felt like I finally was at the point
where I had a choice, you know, like I feel
like only in the show as a contestant on our
season and then being lead, like there is such a
pressure to get engaged at the end. And realistically, in hindsight,
now would it have been a thousand times smarter of
(16:12):
me to be like, look, I picked this person, I'm
in love with them, but I'm not ready to get
engaged a thousand percent Like that's maybe what should have happened,
But you know, you kind of get sucked into this
world and you feel that pressure, and so yes, I said,
you know, yes, I will marry these other people when
they've asked me very much on somebody else's terms. That
(16:32):
I kind of just felt like I finally have a
partner where we have the same goals in life, especially
in terms of this relationship. And it was more so
me just wanting to show him how committed I am
and like how I want to meet him halfway and
so I mean, I'm not gonna lie. It felt really
damn good to kind of be the one, not even
in control because I don't want to use that word,
(16:53):
but to say like I'm meeting you halfway and like
I finally have a say in my next engagement like
the first who I didn't really whatsoever, And now we
can do this together and start this new part of
our relationship together however we want. And so that was
really special. Like I made a comment once um in
(17:14):
another interview of like Thomas being like the first guy
actually want to marry and they'll probably weren't the right words,
but like Thomas is the first guy that I like
proactively want to be engaged to on my timing and
I proactively want to plan a wedding with Okay, if
that makes sense I was going to ask you about
that because I recently read that and I was like,
I could see you saying that about Ari. But you
(17:36):
were with Garrett and happily for a while. Yeah, but
we were at the place where like we had never
planned anything for a wedding, Like we never got to
that stage where I was like, I want to take
this next step. I want to solidify this, like and
even when I was in that relationship, like guess there
was love and we were committed to each other for
two and a half years, but we were never ready
(17:57):
to take that next step and like be all in
and like join our lives together, if that makes sense.
And like Thomas is the first guy that I actually
want to do that where I'm like, Okay, maybe marriage
actually is for me and I want to do this now.
Yeah the uh I just sitting here thinking, Um, if
it wasn't for your situation with Ari, you wouldn't have
(18:17):
been the bachelor atte. If you wouldn't have been the bachelor,
you would have never met Garrett, who then kept you
within the franchise long enough to then go on Paradise.
Don't go on Paradise. You wouldn't have found the love
of your life, Thomas, and we're so happy for you. Becca.
It's just weird how things work out. Which transitions. Um
always easy, it's not always fun. I've been That was
(18:40):
my trans going here A continued Michelle. You we're gonna
start by saying, hey, you're not alone. First off in
this group with Becca and I here, we've both had
um some really like like truly life hard, real difficult
(19:03):
scenarios through this franchise and had to then figure out
how to talk about him air amount in the public eye.
And it sucks. So, Um, answer what you want, don't
answer what you don't want. It's just a really hard time.
But how are you doing? I guess would be how
I start this is how are you holding up? Um?
(19:24):
It's been quite a transition, I would say, Um, just
because you know this year I decided to step away
from the classroom this following school year just because I've
been so burnt out and just really wanting to, you know,
get out of that survival mode. Um. I kind of
(19:47):
feel like life has taken this thing is like oh
gay challenge accepted and like here like deal with a breakup. Um,
It's it's definitely not something that I planned to have
to work through this summer UM, but I've definitely have
the understanding that, like, sometimes we have to work through
things that we did not plan for um or that
(20:09):
we're not in our life plans. And so I really
am just leaning on my friends family for support, UM
and and it's been really helpful, I guess, to just
kind of maintain, you know, that layer that I can
kind of now start working from. So you have your
good days, you have your bad days. You know, it
comes and goes in waves. When you intended on stepping
(20:32):
back from teaching for a while, was that with the
intention of spending more time with Nate and like living
together in some place. Yeah, I think, Um, I would
say that I'm very like Nate and I are very
independent people. UM. But at that same time, you know,
(20:54):
I really I personally want to work towards different things. Right,
We're into different places. Um. He's in Austin, I'm in Minnesota.
Long distances difficult, but um, but yeah, I think that
you know, having this summer off and being able to
step away from teaching, that would have happened regardless of
a relationship, regardless of you know, influencing whatever you want
(21:19):
to call it just because I really needed to take
a breath out of teaching. Um, But would that have
resulted in spending more time with Nate. Yeah, it's naturally,
you know. Yeah, it's such a weird time to Michelle
and people wonder about this, but I remember at the
end of my relationship with Lauren, people still expected I mean,
(21:41):
we saw it red headlines like hey, you aren't together,
or hey, you're not posting together as much, or you're
not commenting on the pictures and then so there was
a moment in my relationship. I mean, and this just
feels so weird now thinking back, but it was like, hey,
we need to take a picture together so people stop asking,
or we need to uh film with video of us
laughing because we're so happy and in and behind the
(22:03):
scenes were like, hey, we haven't talked to each other
in two weeks, like really talk to each other how
And I can't do that? It just let me just
do that. I can't do that, you know, because I like,
if I'm in a very committed relationship with somebody, and
and this is no like shade towards anybody, Like everyone
(22:23):
truly does handle this the best that they can. I
feel like, you know, to each their own. Um. No,
I just I'm not a person who I've never really
been on social media period um, and it's something that's
still kind of new to me and being able to
like show everybody what I'm doing, what I'm like updates
(22:45):
and things like that. Um. And so yeah, there was
never a time for me that I'm like, we need
to post this picture so that we can act like
this or take this video. Um. You know with the video,
I know that there's like a lot out of headlines
or whatever about the video where I was talking about
the engagement ring and like somebody videoing me and my
(23:07):
friend taking it and everyone's like we should have known,
like she faked it this and that, and like I'm
up here sitting like like this is why I don't
ever respond to the internet, because that did not age
well Like that did not But damn yeah. But no,
I just I I really truly believe in reflecting how
(23:29):
you feel. And I think that's kind of why I've
stepped away from social media, because I've had to take
this time to kind of work on myself and find
that inner piece. Um, you know, and I'm not good
with posting if things aren't okay again, like what Ben said,
If anything it feels too personal, don't feel obligated to
(23:51):
ask this is so fresh for you, but do you
feel like when you got off the show, you guys
felt bliss happiness that was going to last a super
long time, or did you have doubts as soon as
you guys wrapped the show, like was this a breakup
that you kind of foresaw or was this sudden? Um?
(24:15):
I think where I'm like struggling with this pieces. It's
like you never know how much to say, you never
know how to handle it, you never know how it's
going to be taken. Um. But I will say that
like this is not something that I foresaw and I'll
leave it there. Well. Uh, final really question around this
because there's no use of continuing to absolutely hammer in
(24:38):
someone else's pain on a podcast. But who is there
for you right now? Michelle? Like who stepped up? Then?
Your support system? What kind of advice are they giving
you or what are they doing to help? Um? The
reason I asked this is because I'm sure there's other
people out there to have gone through breakups and they
don't know how to get help. UM, So what have
you found to be helpful right now. Yeah, you know,
(25:01):
I have, like I said before, really started to lean
on my family and friends, UM, and have had you know,
two of my friends, Tianne Brooke, who we I took
off to Iceland with on a spontaneous trip to just
you know disconnect um and my mom, my dad, siblings,
(25:21):
and then just you know Becca, another bachelorat's reaching out
that kind of have been through situations like this, And
I feel like I've been able to reach out to
different people depending on you know, kind of what I needed.
So like, for example, Becca has been through you know,
a relation public relationship ending, and you know Rachel, Lindsay
(25:44):
and and Tasia and Caitlin have all been through this
and they're able to offer certain advice. And then you know,
I have some really close friends who are also able to, um,
really know who I am and really know things that
you know, they just get me, They get what hurts,
they get my response is to to certain things, and
(26:08):
they're able to sit there and kind of help me
sort through things. And so it's been hard. Um, it's
been very emotional, and there's been a lot of waves
of things. But to have family and friends who go
on those waves with you and are willing to take
in those waves with you. Has been just incredible. Yeah,
(26:30):
well I'd be I'd be a bad, bad podcast host
if I didn't ask a question on behalf of the
fandom who are very very curious to know what happened
to the down payment for the house? Answer as you'd like, UM,
is you know that that was money that was gifted
(26:51):
to both of us. UM. And I think that's something
that you know, is going to be decided how that's
going to be utilized going forward. UM. For me personally,
you know, I haven't officially decided, but I you know,
kind of have started putting some different things in place
(27:12):
to give back, you know, to to build an organization
or you know, just promote the change that I've been
talking about. UM. You know, and I think that would
be something that i'd feel really good about. Yeah. It's
(27:33):
literally been crying on the phone with one of the producers,
you know, like it's been emotional. I've been crying on
the phone. I don't have producers and like, but we
can I give this money? I can I create this
to give them money like to somebody else. It's just
like I just that's something I feel good about I
And that's yeah, I know that's been the million dollar question,
(27:54):
no pun intended, but it's been a lot. Michelle, you
are the greatest catch of of all, Like holy crap,
holy like not only like is your beauty just absolutely
(28:18):
like out of this world, but like your beauty inside,
your intelligence, the way your grace, the way you handle yourself,
Like there is never been one person that I've been
less concerned about finding her happily ever after. And and
I don't really know you personally very well, but like
you are gonna be so so good, and this is
(28:40):
a period of life that you'll get over and one
day you'll be like that was a moment of growth,
and I am so happy of where I ended up.
I really I that means a lot, actually, and I
know that you know, I've had like, you know, a
few exchanges and every thing. And I'll be honest. I
(29:01):
was talking to Becca yesterday of like I'm nervous to
get back on and start podcasting, right because I don't know,
when you're away from something, you need to take that
time and I understand that, but coming back also like
there's anxiety around it, and I'm such a positive person
or like a happy, bubbly person typically and right now
(29:23):
I'm not always that, and I know that's okay, but
like I didn't want to come on and be like,
you know, I want to talk about Becca's engagement, and
I want to talk about Actley and your baby and
then everything that's going on your life, and then I'm
like I'm over here and I'm like that there's just
like this like negative you know, you know, like that
that that Charlie Brown Halloween episode, like I got a
(29:45):
candy bar, I got a sector, I got a rock,
but I got I got this, I got a rock,
like the show. I'm like, day that's gonna really I
truly feel like this moment, like even though you feel
so low and you don't necess rearely know where to
turn or like what your life's gonna look like, I
honestly think this is going to be the catalyst for
like one of the most beautiful, as actually just said,
(30:08):
like times of growth in your life and everything. I mean,
and I can say this from experience because you know,
we've all been through breakups and then you can test
we've been through public breakups, but like everything just preps
you for what's to come. And I think with you,
you have such a beautiful soul that it's only going
to benefit you in the long run. Yeah, And when
(30:30):
you look back on these moments of darkness, when it
didn't end up with the you didn't end up with
the person that you so imagine yourself ending up with,
and it's weirdly nostalgic. Like when you get past it
and you end up finding the person that you're with,
you look back at those moments and you're like, man,
I suffered so much heartbreak, but it really did get
(30:54):
me to this. It's such a weird thing. It's hard
to describe. It's like one of those things where it's
like I need to take my heart and soul out
and put it into somebody else. And then they're like,
oh this feeling, Yeah, I know this feeling. It's so weird.
But that's exactly. And I think, you know, I like
breakups suck, breakups are awful. I don't know, I just
(31:15):
they they hurt, right, And I think what's so difficult
is that it sometimes feels like it's like not in
your control, right, Like you wake up and you sometimes
days you just feel like Okay, I just have to
have a time passed like with time, give it time,
but like you can't always like speed up that time, right,
you can't always like speed up healing. You can put
in the work, but you can't always speed it up. Um.
(31:38):
But it is like the situation where I'm like, this
is not how the story ends for me. This is
not you know, like where I'm at right now emotionally, mentally,
like how my heart feels like, this is not how
the story ends. And I deserve to, you know, really
make it to that point where I get those things
and so yeah, but it is hard to remember. I
(32:00):
may be calling you guys for a reminder here, and
it's like this is just a building block, Like every
relationship that doesn't work out is a building block to
help you learn what you want, what you don't want
in your next relationship. Yeah. Absolutely, It's like every morning
look at yourself in the mirror and be like, my
family is happy, healthy and safe, and I am stunning,
(32:21):
as as my morning hair that I sleep with with
wet hair didn't wash, my face is like tinked. Everywhere
looks stunning. Right now, I was actually not gonna make up.
I was gonna say, like You've gone through the ringer
in this past month and you've still looked like a ten.
You're studying your glowing. I'm like, what is your secret?
(32:44):
Even have a makeup on right now? This is just
your faces? My god, isn't it? Isn't it so annoying? Actually?
This is no, because no, you should have called me.
You should have called me, like, what ever when this
first went done? Nah, it was bad. It's bad. I'm
(33:05):
sure I have a picture somewhere I Michelle. If as
we close up here, because we do have a very
special episode of Bachelor Happy Hour to get to, uh, well,
we're gonna be breaking down a lot of the bachelorrette.
I think we're gonna talk about that. You guys are
hosting it, so you know, Uh, here's a good story
for you to close out on, Michelle. I don't know
if I make you feel any better or worse. I
(33:27):
feel like this is one of those times when your
dad tells you a story and it's like symbolic. Ye. Maybe, Um,
I agree with everything Becca and Ashley have said, and
I'm sure many people in your life have told you
all of those things and they're all true, and so
you just gotta believe him at some point. Maybe not now. Um,
you could still hurt for a bit, but at some
point you're just gonna have to believe that these people
(33:48):
are not lying to you. You're gorgeous, You're a catch,
you are whatever is in the future is all going
to make sense. We just talked about it with Rebecca.
But um, really funny story I've never shared publicly, and
I'll probably get fired for it. That's okay, Um, I'm
not getting fired. I feel honored to be the reason
I am going through a breakup. Um. We announced it
(34:12):
publicly on a Tuesday. I had already been under contracts
and we had already scheduled our very first almost famous
episode on that Thursday. Um, so we announced it Tuesday
because it just needed to happen, like it was time.
We had it was we we needed to tell people.
And so it comes out and I'm broke, like I'm
(34:33):
I'm I'm sad, I'm a mess, And I call my
heart and I say, hey, can we not record this week?
I'm not in the place, and they say, no, this
is perfect, It's time. Everybody's listen. And so on a Thursday,
I had to get on a podcast and say a
(34:53):
bunch of stuff that I didn't even know what I
was saying because I didn't know how I felt. Uh.
And then over time things get better and you can
begin to move forward, and I wish the best for you,
and I'm glad you're back, and I'm glad we're doing
this together. This has been really fun. Hey, I do
have to ask you this because our listeners need a
little teaser um going into Bachelor Happy Hour in a
(35:13):
minute thirty seconds, what are both your thoughts on this
coming season of The Bachelorette as we move forward into
part two over on Bachelor Happy Hour? Oh, Michelle, you
want to start? No, you start? Um? Okay, I will
try to be concise. I am excited and intrigued because
this is something we've never seen before throughout an entire season,
(35:34):
having two leads. I'm skeptical because I, in no way,
shape or form want these two women who are now
the leads and in this huge pressure situation to be
pitted against one another. And all I'm gonna say is,
if they're going to have two women leads at some point,
we better be seeing two mal leads in one season.
(35:55):
We did, so, just to let you know, I think Ashley.
Ashley and I just discovered this yesterday that there has
been two bachelors on a season before. We didn't know this.
There has way back, way back. Wait, so a duel.
So two guys the entire season season? Who was it?
I don't even remember their names are really on in
(36:17):
the two thousands archives? Know No, is it Brian or
is it Byron? Byron and a guy we don't know. Okay,
we need to see a current. I don't disagree with you.
I'm just saying we said the same thing yesterday and
they were like, no, they have so alright, Yeah, Michelle,
(36:37):
we were so confused because when Caitlin and Britt happened,
nobody brought this up either. We gotta I need the archives,
I need the lost footage. I need to see this
like did and they showed both men equally or did
one just kind of fall by the wayside? One guy
knocked off here? So it was the same like the
whole Caitlin situation, right, but not at the same time
(36:58):
where two leads have gone through the higher process. Here
we go. We got the recap in September two, Velvic
and Jay over by a forty year old real estate
agent from New Jersey were selected as candidates for the
Bachelor for season six, but their candidates like were they
both together? I think so night one? We need a
(37:19):
full season. Yeah, I need to go back and watch that.
And I also want to know, like what are you
all up to? And why don't we know who you are?
Like why why we first say oh, yeah, it's Byron
and unknown guy? You guys, we're gonna now fight as
to who's going to get these two unknown guys on
our podcast one and we'll get one. Wait, we want
(37:43):
the guy who went home night one, just to just
to give him some some good love. He's like, nobody's
talked to me in twenty years. I don't know what, Michelle,
what are your thoughts? I'm I'm excited, um, just for
both of them, because they both seem like they're going
to handle themselves in a very like a sea way, right.
I think that they went into it with a really
(38:04):
solid friendship, and I think that's something that they seem
like they would continue to work on and like work
past issues as it goes on. Um, I feel like
it's going to get a little intense, though, I mean,
it's kind of naive to not think that, you know,
there's not going to be drama with everything, but yeah,
I'm excited for them both. Um, I'm super interested in
(38:25):
watching this is Yeah, we're gonna have a lot to
talk talk about. Is what I feel like throughout this
whole season. Well I agree. Alright, guys, well it's time
for us to wrap up and head over to your territory,
so please sign out with us until next time. I've
been Ashley, I've been Becca. I can't We're still doing this.
(38:47):
Four years later, five years later, Oh my god, bye bye.
Followed the Benn and Ashley I Almost Famous podcasts on
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Hosts And Creators
Ben Higgins
Ashley Iaconetti
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