How Do We Deal?! Coping With the Confounding

How Do We Deal?! Coping With the Confounding

We're all struggling with the unbearable weight of issues that society just can't seem to solve—while paying endless bills, making infinity dinners, and replying to inane work emails. So how do we deal? With some colorful and transparent commentary from hosts Dara and Amber, and helpful insights from occasional guestsperts. Trump's second term has only made the theme more relevant since the podcast began. Friends of different backgrounds from the same Boston suburb, Dara and Amber inevitably dive deep into meaningful conversation, whether they're shooting around on the basketball court or sipping Sauvignon Blanc. In each episode of "How Do We Deal: Coping with the Confounding," they attempt to make sense of simply existing in the world today, at the nexus of massive conundrums (from the rise of fascism, to deeply rooted racism to the mental health to climate change crises) and everyday responsibilities and challenges (maintaining faith in humanity while in rush hour traffic with kids, for example). Sometimes talking it all through is enough to help find some hope, calm, and clarity. With honesty and openness about their own experiences with everything from race and neurodivergence to parenting and balling, they want to share the conversation with you. The goal is simply to make each day a little better.

Episodes

March 24, 2026 33 mins
What if most of the crap we worry about doesn't matter at all? What if our energy is directed in the wrong places? In this intro to season 4, Dara and Amber kick off a new theme: No one cares! (Or do they?) We're going to look at what matters, and what doesn't, and see if we can find some peace. 

This season will cover a lot, with huge perspective coming from the national crises unfolding under unfathomable idiocy in leadership. Amb...
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A new elf arrived in town (Dara caved), belief is on the line (is Santa real?), and there's a lot of decor that may not be necessary (why is Amber doing all this?). Join Dara and Amber as they reflect on holiday magic, madness, wonder, and consumerism, and look back at how we survived and even thrived in the insanity of 2025.

Side notes: Amber apologizes for talking too much in this episode and will calm down in 2026. Dara is still ...
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November 20, 2025 41 mins
Dara and Amber stumbled on a new theory: Everyone is going insane because there's no room for error in today's world. Get sick? You could go bankrupt. Kid won't go to bed? Experts say they're doomed to fail in life. Not on top of work emails? You're on thin ice with your boss.

Amber points out that with neurodivergent kids, getting to a pricy therapy appointment on time can be almost impossible because the usual parenting strategies...
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November 20, 2025 36 mins
Dara and Amber talk about their POVs and experiences related to protecting kids from social media, at least until they turn 18. Dara has started a local movement by forming an alliance of parents who are supporting each other in delaying social media. Amber talks about her own battle to secure her teen's phone and what she learned at a recent school seminar about how phones shape kids' and teens' daily existence.

We don't put our ki...
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September 14, 2025 36 mins
Our world is more confounding than ever, but Dara and Amber are still finding ways to cope, and still laughing whenever possible. In this episode they discuss a recent revelation: that by heeding and not reflexively dismissing a sudden calling to pursue creative inspiration, they found solace, purpose, and a feeling of control in uncertain times. Hear how they listened to gut intuition, without a lick of experience or skill as a ba...
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June 20, 2025 38 mins
As our country spirals deeper into chaos, Dara and Amber continue to cope with the confounding by finding new perspective. This time, they confront the certain yet mysterious fate we all face: death. Dara and Amber reflect on the tragic loss of their dear friend Monica (interviewed last season in her 9th year living with metastatic breast cancer), another friend's need for a life-saving kidney donation, their own experiences with t...
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This is Part 2 of Dara and Amber's sitdown with Amber's father, Greg. Born in 1949, he's an optimistic yet empathetic guy who reps the best qualities of the Baby Boomer generation. His story prompts us to examine how we choose to respond to change, opportunity, and loss.

While Part 1 focused on Greg's early years (growing up, going to Vietnam with the Air Force, and using the GI bill to go to college), Part 2 focuses on loss. In 201...
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How do you deal with change, and respond to difficulties and opportunities that emerge along the way? Dara and Amber sat down with Amber's Dad, Greg, to talk about it! In Part 1, we get his take on growing up poor in our Massachusetts hometown in the 50s, including his parents' unique union (urban astral-projecting atheist meets bible-thumping farm boy) and his time in the Air Force, with a tour in Vietnam. 

Fun fact: He spent most ...
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As parents who often feel like they worry too much, or not enough, or have no idea what they're doing, Dara and Amber were thrillled to connect with the woman dubbed “America’s Worst Mom” only to flip it into a positive movement. Lenore Skenazy sure had a lot of deal with after unleashing a media firestorm with her 2008 column, “Why I Let My 9-Year-Old Ride the Subway Alone." But she didn't apologize or back down. Instead, Lenore h...
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Dara and Amber often chat about the crime and violence in the news, but it's hard to grasp. Are we too worried due to 24/7 media alarmism? Not worried enough? Is violence crime rising or falling? What causes all the violence in our society, anyway? They were lucky enough to get some answers from a special guest: criminologist and professor Dr. Mark A. Winton, who gave fascinating insights on violentization theory as a basis for how...
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February 26, 2025 34 mins
We're back! And our podcast title is more relevant than ever. Dara and Amber talk about how they're dealing with and resisting the dismantling of democracy, and how history and the universe are providing much needed perspective in the midst of confounding events. 

Episode links:

- https://www.discoveryplus.com/... series
- https://podcasts.apple.com/us/.../28 Economic Blackout
- https://thepeoplesunionusa.com... way down on the Peo...
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Dara and Amber call Ebony their icon of positivity, guru of self-care, and Vitamin E, because of the boost her presence provides! So they brought her on the podcast to find out just how she keeps her light so uhnbelievably bright. As always, Ebony delivered, with insights on how positivity is a choice (not always easy, even for her), tips on improving self-talk, and so much more. 

Dara met her at work, where Ebony rose from administ...
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Get ready to treat your ears and heart. Dara and Amber are huge fans of the alternative, dreamy pop songs of Amanda Zorzi, the Philly-based songwriter/independent artist who generously created the theme song for this podcast! But they're even bigger fans of her as a human. Amanda is a certified music therapist, foster mom to dogs in need of homes, and a professional advocate for neuro-inclusive workplaces (a path that connected her...
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Dara and Amber have wanted Michael Henry on the pod since day one. Partly because a legal mind is needed to make sense of, and deal with, confounding gun and abortion laws. But also because his perspective is uniquely insightful. Before Michael was a health sciences lawyer (and for a few years, Dara's colleague), he was an NCIS Special Agent serving in the Middle East and East Africa. With his military bonafides and roots in Texas ...
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Struggling to deal with the loss of their husbands, one to the trap of addiction and one to a shockingly sudden death, Nicole and Suzanne connected and soon bonded over wine and karaoke. In this refreshingly candid "How Do We Deal?!" chat, they share how their friendship, forged out of grief and sustained by humor, helps them manage and embrace their lives as solo parents. Suzanne and Nicole give their hilarious and insightful take...
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In this special episode recorded in Mexico during a trip to see Dave Matthews and Tim Reynolds, Dara interviews fellow DMB super fan and podcast host Renae Lipsmeyer. On "The Space Between Podcast," with close to 100 episodes released, Renae tells the story of DMB fans and how the band has been transforming and enriching lives for over 30 years. In her conversation with Dara, Renae shares her own journey, including how podcasting a...
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Our friend Bernard Grant, Ph.D. is many things, all of them remarkable. Multiply neurodivergent, they are an Autistic advocate, life coach to Autistics and parents seeking insight from an Autistic person on how better to support their Autistic children, neurodiversity trainer, award-winning writer of fiction and essays, and talented editor. To say that our conversation opened our eyes and minds would be the understatement of the ce...
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This is the second and final part of Dara and Amber's powerful discussion Monica Jones, our childhood friend and an incredibly strong and kind human. She shares what it's like to deal with a terminal diagnosis, metastatic (Stage IV) breast cancer, and reflects on defying the odds for almost a decade. In this episode, you'll also hear about her hopes and boundless love for her daughter, how this diagnosis has shaped relationships, w...
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F*CK CANCER. In part 1 of 2 in the ultimate "How Do We Deal?!" discussion, we welcome childhood friend (from our Massachusetts hometown) and certified badass Monica Jones, who has been living with metastatic (Stage IV) breast cancer for over nine years. During that time, she became a parent, defied odds and expectations, and jumped into fierce, much-needed advocacy to help address the most deadly type of breast cancer, which is sev...
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March 7, 2024 40 mins
Dara and Amber are back, bae-bae! In the season 2 intro episode, they get hyped and give a preview of the issues and guestperts coming up on the podcast. This season brings a new format by welcoming friends with unique experiences and expertise that can give us all insight on how to deal. Join our hosts as they look forward to the discussions ahead, sharing thoughts, questions and a few laughs on everything from fitness habits to t...
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