January 22, 2025 • 46 mins
Former "Bachelorette" Trista Sutter is telling all about her ultimate "I Choose Me" experience on "Special Forces". From jumping off boats to repelling off bridges...what was she thinking?!
Plus, Jennie gets to the bottom of those cryptic social media captions, and the ladies reflect on what faith means to both of them.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Garth. Hey, everybody,
welcome to I Choose Me. This podcast, as you know,
is all about the choices we make and where they
lead us. Life is a way of presenting us with
opportunities for growth and change. When we're faced with a
(00:22):
new opportunity, we either make a safe, familiar choice, or
maybe we see this opportunity as a place to make
choices that propel us towards unfamiliar, uncertain places and experiences.
I think it's in those risky choices where we find
the most gorgeous and rewarding personal growth and Rea mention
(00:43):
of ourselves. My guest today has taken some big and
bold risks in her life. You know her from being
the first ever bachelorette and from her podcast Almost Famous Ogs.
She recently participated on the new season of Special Forces
on Fox and spoiler alert, even though her time on
(01:05):
the show has come to an end, I wanted to
talk with her because this show is so extreme. I
don't know how she did it. Please welcome Trista Sutter
to the podcast. Hello Trista, Oh my gosh, I'm so excited.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
You don't even know how many dreams you are making
come true with my college self. And honestly, I feel
like I get you know when people tell you who
you look like, you're a woman of the people. Get
And I've always been like, thank you. That's such a
huge compliment. So I really like that. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
Well, I'm also a fan of yours. Been watching you
since you're on the Bachelor.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
That's a long time ago.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
That's a long time ago. Oh my god, you were
the very first bachelorette, like you are the reason there
is it's the Bachelor nation is so strong.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
Well, thank you for that. I don't know if I
can take all the credit, but but yeah, I mean
it's pretty crazy. But it's still going on, Like it
really is pretty crazy.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
It really is.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
Get started. I just want to say I'm so sorry
for everything that you and your family and your community
are going through. It's just heartbreaking.
Speaker 1 (02:15):
Thank you. Yeah, it really is heartbreaking. Oh it's just yeah,
but thank you.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
Yeah, of course, I just I had to say it,
but of course no. I was there actually on Tuesday,
but when it all started. Yes, I was doing interviews
at the Sunset Marquis Hotel and there was a fire
right near our hotel, and then as I was leaving
to go to the airport, like this huge plume of smoke.
(02:43):
You could see it from far away on the four
or five, and then from my plane, I actually took
a video of the Palisade fire. I'm thankful that I
got out when I did. But yeah, I just it's
like all in comor, like it consumes you your mind,
even if you don't live there, like I just my
heart is breaking for.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
Lost me to me too. Just a first off, I
need to know all about this experience that you are having.
Let's talk about Special Forces, because for those of who
haven't seen the show, it's an insane I choose me
moment in itself just for doing this. It's like an
intense boot camp environment. Where what were you thinking when
(03:29):
you said yes to this?
Speaker 2 (03:33):
I mean, come on, no, I don't know if I
was thinking actually right, So at first I actually said hell.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
No, okay, good response.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
Crazy, and then said, don't you want my husband? This
is totally up his alley? Like he would thrive in
this experience. I okay. So the more I thought about it,
after I initially, you know, my gut reaction was to
say no. I talked to my husband, talked to my family,
(04:09):
and watched the previous seasons, and I felt like even
though I was fifty one when we filmed, and you know,
I'm not in the greatest shape of my life. I'm
not like, you know, I'm not I'm not in horrible shape,
but I'm not in the best shape. I'm somewhere in
(04:30):
the middle.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
That's good. That's good to me.
Speaker 2 (04:35):
And I just felt like, you know, yeah, i might
not be the strongest on the show, but I'm looking
my purpose is it's all individual, right, So my purpose
going into it was I dedicated my life to my
family for almost eighteen years. My son, my oldest, is seventeen,
(04:57):
so I look for opportunities to give back to myself
and challenge myself. And with them leaving soon, you know,
making me an empty nester with Ryan, I'm just really
faced with this moment of And you have an older daughter, right,
(05:19):
maybe two that are yeah, so.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
You know you know youngest is eighteen, so yeah, okay, yes.
Speaker 2 (05:26):
You know exactly. So I it's hard like when you
when you've poured into your family and your kids for
so long and it becomes your identity. I'm really trying
to get back to the person I am without my kids,
because not to take away from being a mom, it's
(05:47):
my greatest, greatest joy and I wouldn't take back any
of the time that I have given to my family
and my kids. But now I'm kind of looking to
the future and thinking, I really need to figure out
who I'm going to be when they're gone. So that
was my reason for doing it, and I'm really glad
(06:09):
I did. I'm really grateful for it. Actually it's crazy,
it's contense, but it was amazing.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
Okay, So yeah, this was, like I said before, the
ultimate I Choose me moment for you is just like
I need to figure out who I am and what
I'm capable of again, because I can fully relate with
You've given yourself all to your kids and your family,
and when you do that, you do you spend some
time thinking, well, what am I instead of that? Like
(06:38):
what am I without that? Because you're about to be
faced with a whole different kind of parenting And I
think it's so intuitive of you too. Yeah, first have
that negative reaction of like, uh no, thank you. I've
got to be honest with you. They asked me to
do the show on the first season. There was nothing
(07:00):
for me to watch to like yet what it was like,
and just from the description, I was like, yeah, that's
a no for me. I'm sorry. I don't need to
push myself like that anymore. I know. I know what
I'm capable of, and I know what I'm not capable of.
And I'm really not capable of leaping from a speedboat
onto a helicopter. I do not know how you did
(07:23):
these things. I just I want to know everything. Yeah,
you guys are getting like pushed into freezing cold water,
like I said, jumping from helicopters, you're bungee jumping off
of the tall bridges. I've only seen the first two episodes,
but oh my god, I'm on the edge of my
seat for you and for all of the casts.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (07:43):
Did you do anything to prepare yourself ahead of time?
Speaker 2 (07:45):
I tried. I talked to Hannah Brown, who was you know,
on a Bachelorette and won the first season. And if
you call it winning, like you know, she won for herself,
but she made it to the end of the first season,
and so I called her and she was like, as
much hiking running you can do with a big, huge backpack,
(08:08):
on your back and I wish I had done more.
Is all I have to say, Like I did.
Speaker 1 (08:13):
You take her seriously or did you like I'm going
to do this every day?
Speaker 2 (08:17):
I took her seriously. But I had back surgery lumbar fusion.
I don't know, maybe like ten years ago. My back
is way better than it was. I felt like a
ninety year old. But after the surgery, I always say,
I wish I had had it sooner. Well, they the
medical you know, they have to clear you medically, and
the medical team wasn't going to clear me. And they
(08:39):
told me, sorry, we can't have you on the show
because we can't clear you. And I was like, I'm sorry,
but Jack Osborne was on it with multiple sclerosis, like
you know, people had previous injuries, right, And so I
was like, well, why don't you let me make that
decision for myself and leave when I feel like I can't?
(09:00):
But why like exclude me from doing it when it's
just because I've had surgery. And they were like, well,
we don't know how you're going to be being pushed
off a boat now. Is anyone gonna be okay being
pushed off or does.
Speaker 1 (09:13):
Anybody know how let's see, how did I act last
time I got pushed off a speedboat exactly.
Speaker 2 (09:24):
So while I was working through that with the medical
team and the producers, I am super superstitious, and I thought,
I'm going to jinx myself if I keep working out.
So I've freaking stopped. I mean, and I knew like
three months before they asked me like three months before.
Had I continued and done it every day like I
(09:45):
should have, I would have been an amazing shape. But
didn't I know it. It bothers me. I wish I
would could have, because what you don't see on the
show is in between the tasks and the accommodations where
we're sleeping or like the first day when we started
(10:06):
at that, like off the boat getting pushed off the boat.
You run everywhere, you run all the time, and you're
running with a massive military rucksack backpack that has to
be filled to fifteen kilograms, which is like I think
it ends up being like thirty five pounds or something
(10:29):
like that. So if your pack isn't thirty five pounds,
then you have to fill it with sand until it's
thirty five pounds and carry that everywhere you go. In
between and I don't know. I just feel like I
don't like to burden other people. I didn't want to
be a burden to people. And they're helping me carry
(10:50):
my you can see. And when we got to the bridge,
you see Golden carrying a backpack on the front of
his body and his back that front backpack was mine.
So thank God for my angels. But I just I
didn't want to be a burden, you know. So I
really wish that I had trained more.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
Yeah, I can't even run to the corner, Like running
with no backpack is just like not a thing I
can do anymore. Unfortunately, before you accepted this job or experience,
whatever you want to call it, were you like in
(11:37):
the mindset of choosing yourself or how would you have
just described yourself like before this?
Speaker 2 (11:45):
Before this, I was like, yes, occasionally choosing myself. But
I'm still in it. I mean, my daughter doesn't drive yet,
so I am still like her, you know, essentially her
chauffeur and set her and you know, all those things.
So I'm still in it really with my with my
(12:06):
kids and just looking forward, looking forward to the time
when they're going to be gone, because I have a
lot of friends who are going, you know, through that
and becoming empty nesters. But so I'm still in it
and maybe not choosing myself as much as hopefully after
(12:27):
they're gone. But but yeah, that's kind of where my
mind was.
Speaker 1 (12:32):
Since you did have the privilege of watching like the
seasons before, how did you were you terrified? How did
you mentally prepare yourself? Were you like, oh my god,
I said yes to this like a couple of weeks ago,
I'm changing my mind. I don't want to do it,
Like I can imagine I would have been like freaking
out and be like, no, I'm not sorry, pulling out
not doing it.
Speaker 2 (12:53):
Yeah, there was you know, actually no, I take that back.
I feel like once I committed, I was committed. It
was just waiting for my clearance to come through. I
was actually excited. You know, I've had some pretty crazy
ones in a lifetime. Opportunities like this is not people
can pay for, you know, like you don't just go
(13:13):
to the special courses and be like, hey, can you
put me through base camp boot camp? You know? So
I feel really lucky that I got asked, and I
really wanted to take it seriously and and make my
kids proud, make my husband proud, make myself proud, make
my family proud. You know, so, no, I was. I
(13:34):
was definitely committed once I committed.
Speaker 1 (13:37):
M hmm. What was that like, having to leave your
family and go I don't even know where you filmed
that where you have to go far away? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (13:47):
Yeah, we filmed in Wales, so I London. Yeah, it
was far and it was when my kids were still
in school, so they were going through finals. So well,
that was really hard because you know, I wanted to
be here to help them through that those last couple
of weeks of school. And of course they take away
(14:09):
your phone once you start filming, so that was difficult.
But I will say that's also another I Choose me moment,
is just knowing that I wasn't going to have access
to my family and vice versa, and saying, you know what,
I'm going to choose me in this moment and really
stay committed to the show and do what I need
(14:31):
to do. And this is one of the things.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
Yeah, I mean, because you said you didn't have your phone,
was there a feeling of like isolation or just like
complete disconnect from because you're so I would imagine in
that environment. You have to just fully jump in and
be consumed by it all the time.
Speaker 2 (14:49):
You do, you do. I think that's how you probably
survive is you really just have to stay committed and
remembering your why and your purpose being there. That I
think is a big part of the mental preparation is
just really committing, you know, and not lying to yourself,
(15:10):
you know, like really being honest with yourself for why
you're doing it and giving it your all. Because it's
very similar in that way to the Bachelor and Bachelorette.
You really have to just give in emotionally to the
experience because you can't get out of it anything if
you don't fully you know, commit to the experience and
(15:31):
truthfully be yourself, right right.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
I think that's the case with any experience, right.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
Yeah, totally. I agree, any relationship, any experience. Yeah, you
gotta agree. Just dive in, yep, and I did. Or
I got pushed in, but you didn't die.
Speaker 1 (15:48):
You got pushed in. I was like, ouch my neck.
I would have come up and come been like, you're
I have whiplash. You seem to get pretty close with
some of your fellow castmates. Who would you say you
were closest with and who did you rely on the most.
Speaker 2 (16:05):
Yeah, so, like I mentioned my angels as as it
showed in the last part of that, well, they're calling
it the second episode, the second hour of the first episode,
however you want to look at it. And after the beach,
which was like the surf emrgin where you're linked up
and you're you know, essentially drowning yourself, I got back
(16:26):
to the vehicle and I went through. They didn't show
much of it, but I went through. I believe hypothermia.
Took a while for the medics to get to me,
but I was I could not move my head, I
couldn't lift my head. My jaw was locked. I was
(16:46):
in like lockjaw, if that's what you call it, and
shivering like uncontrollably. And Christy Carlson, Romano and Cam were
in my vehicle and they scooped me up and put
me on their lap and mind you were all wet,
you know, I think, Yeah, I was still wet at
the time, and they scooped me up and like just
(17:09):
kept me close to them for body body heat and
then piled everyone's coats and stuff on top of me.
So they are definitely two of my angels that kind
of took care of me, and I bonded with them
because of that. And then Golden was one of those
people too, like always looking to help. And then you know, Ali,
(17:30):
I've known for years and years, so to be able
to be there with somebody that I already called a
friend was awesome, and she was really there for me
when I was going through that hypothermia. Once I got
back to the accommodations, but Denise Richards and I really bonded.
I loved the entire group, like they're good people, which
(17:52):
is odd, you know, not odd that they're good people,
odd that you know, there's so many people, and I
felt like everyone was a great person. So we feel
like we got lucky. You know.
Speaker 1 (18:03):
It's like a big group of people you would never
expect to have together and they're all so completely different.
I can imagine like going into that on just being
open and getting to know these people from a different perspective,
you know, like you had that you all are in
the same boat. I'm sure it was so bonding.
Speaker 2 (18:25):
Yeah, it was. I Mean, when you go through anything
challenging or away from your family, away from your normal life,
with you know, other people, you definitely bond if you're
willing to. You know, I'm sure there's people who go
into this kind of experience that are just like, you
(18:45):
know what, I'm here for myself and I'm just gonna
I'm just going to do it for myself. But I
feel like that was one of the big takeaways that
I wanted to take away, And also what I'm so
grateful for now is just having the camaraderie of the
rest of the recruit.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
I know when you went away to do this, there
was a big hubbabaloo on the Internet about some messages
your husband put out there that they were cryptic, and
people were like, oh my god, are they breaking up?
And I was very scared that that was happening, because
you two are like a couple goals, Like I just
(19:27):
think you're such an awesome pair together. But what happened
with that?
Speaker 2 (19:31):
Oh yeah, yeah. So if you look back on it,
and I read it on my podcast with Bob Guiney,
I do a it's called almost Famous Oje's and we
talked about it, and I read the post that Ryan posted,
and now it makes complete sense if you go back
and you know that I'm in Wales filming this show,
(19:55):
but of course I couldn't talk about it because they
have you, you know, dialed into secret. You just can't.
And so I was just away filming the show. My
husband was being really sweet and kind of shouting it
from the rooftops via Instagram, and you know, it was
it was shocking to me, actually, because we've been married
(20:15):
twenty one years, right, and it's been a long time,
and it is really sweet that people actually cared. You know,
most of the time they don't care, and Ryan will post,
you know, sweet things, or I'll post something or whatever,
and most of the time it just kind of you know,
our normal numbers whatever of people who liked it or
(20:36):
commented or reached out and said, you know, happy anniversary,
your happy birthday or what, you know, whatever. But the
fact that it like all the news outlets were talking
about it all everyone was talking about it, and I'm like,
oh my gosh, people have lost their minds. But they're
really sweet for losing their minds.
Speaker 1 (20:57):
That's so crazy. Yeah, I always think when something goes
viral or is lifted out of something, I'm like, wow,
must be a slow news day, because they wanted to
talk about this, but I stopped realizing that it's of
interest to other people because you're just living your life
and you're just having a marriage and a family. All
(21:19):
of a sudden you're in the news and it's like controversial.
I can imagine that would have thrown.
Speaker 2 (21:25):
She having a nervous breakdown? Are they divorcing? Oh my gosh,
Like I mean, I had so many of my friends
from college, from high school, from you know, life here
in Colorado writing me, are you okay? What's going on?
Speaker 1 (21:43):
I'm fine.
Speaker 2 (21:44):
I'm just over in Wills almost probably having a nervous
breakdown from the show. But you know, you know, they
didn't show a lot of what I did, which was
like frustrating for me because I'm like, I do want
to show my kids that I actually did jump off
the rich you know, and and how well I did
(22:05):
at the end. I actually failed that one because I
made noise.
Speaker 1 (22:12):
That was like a good call on their part. I
think that was a little rough. Well, if you jump
off a thing like that and your body's like like slammed,
you get whiplash, Like of course you're going to make
a noise like h or something.
Speaker 2 (22:28):
I mean, I don't know if they have superpowers, they
pretty much do the DS. But they're like, you're an
enemy territory. This is your mission. You're an enemy territory.
You cannot make a noise or else they're going to
hear you. And totally understand that and respect that. But
what I had a problem with is Nathan Adrian did it.
(22:49):
I think he went first or second. He went pretty
early and I was second to last. And I remember
him making like a grunt, like a noise when he
when the bungeee like hit, you know, And I was like,
but he passed, So why do I pass?
Speaker 1 (23:06):
I know, I felt like, you're right, that rule kind
of came on slow and then took everybody out. Basically,
I know, I got a fail for everybody.
Speaker 2 (23:16):
Oh and then the boat. They didn't show me on
the helicopter either, like jumping to the helicopter. And it's
so funny. I was watching with my family like two
nights ago. Finally we got you know, all in the
same house at the same time so we could watch together.
And they were like, wait, why is the helicopter so
(23:37):
close for some people and so far away for some people?
Like Stephen Baldwin. All he had to do was go
like this, like literally that far, you know, poor guy.
Speaker 1 (23:46):
He was so excited and he made it.
Speaker 2 (23:49):
He did awesome, I mean awesome, but it was so close.
And then like Nathan Adrian is six six and he
still didn't make it, and he jumped pretty high. So
that shows you, like, obviously, I mean, it's a helicopter, right,
so they try to get as close as they can
to the boat and they know what they're doing, but
(24:11):
it's just not like a perfect science. So mine was
pretty far away, and I had the fear in the
back of my mind that Foxy tells you when you
get onto the boat, if you don't jump by the
time we need you to jump, then I'm pushing you
in the water from a moving speedboat. And so that's
(24:32):
all I could think was like, Okay, they're telling me
to go, and maybe I should wait for the helicopter
to get closer, but I don't want I don't want
him pushing me off this boat like as we're going
really fast, you know.
Speaker 1 (24:45):
So anyway, complete madness.
Speaker 2 (24:48):
Yeah, it is. It was crazy intent.
Speaker 1 (24:52):
I'm still thrilled by the idea that you like, you
were away and then you had this crazy, wild life
changing experience and and then you come back and you
can't tell your best friend, or you can probably tell
your husband because you know he's not gonna tell them.
Not to tell anyoney one. But like you can't tell
anybody where you were, what you just experienced, or like
(25:12):
how it transformed you totally.
Speaker 2 (25:15):
You have to wait, and you know, you just sign
your life away and you also signed that you have
to keep everything in secret. And it's not my first
rodeo when it comes to that. You know, like I
I remember signing the contract for Bachelor and they were like, Okay,
well if you tell anybody, then we're going to see
you five million dollars. I'm like, good luck with that,
because I don't have it. Yeah, but it's like, you know,
(25:39):
the fear, the fear of God or the fear of
lawyers are put into you and you're like, okay, well
guys have it Zip Phillips.
Speaker 1 (25:47):
Yeah, how would you say as a wife, as a mother,
this experience sort of changed you or maybe changed even
your approach on life moving forward.
Speaker 2 (26:04):
You know, I know that I can do hard things,
you know when you said in the beginning, I know
what I can do and I know what I can't do.
And this is one of those things I can't do.
While I wanted to just challenge myself. If you had
told me six months ago that I would be bungee
(26:24):
jumping off of a one hundred and thirty foot bridge
in the middle of Wales, I would have said, you're crazy.
There's no way I'm.
Speaker 1 (26:34):
Still gonna say it. You're crazy.
Speaker 2 (26:36):
I am. I am, and I am so proud of
myself that I did that. I treaded water for fifteen minutes,
you know, like that's not something that I do on
a daily basis. So I am just proud. I'm proud
of myself. I walk away from the experience thinking, you
(26:57):
know what, you should be proud of yourself. You did
really hard things and you survived and lived to tail
the tail Yeah, by god.
Speaker 1 (27:09):
I would, Yeah, I would. I would imagine a sense
of some sort of affirmative feeling in my either ability
to do hard things or my just even being risky,
you know, in that way it didn't make those choices.
Speaker 2 (27:25):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, And that's that's kind of normal life
for me too, is being not risky. You know, I
played pickleball and majong and like it's everywhere, and yeah,
those are not risky things, So I'm not usually that
risk taker. I never really have been. I've been an athlete,
but I haven't been a risk taker. The biggest risk
(27:47):
I feel like I did before this was rock climbing,
and I was terrified of that. But actually I kept
saying during the bridge that I wasn't as scared because
I had been rock climbing and the heights weren't as
much of a fear for me as they had been
in the past. So you never know. I mean, I
(28:09):
feel like it's really a great feeling when you challenge
yourself and you, you know, are able to surprise yourself
and succeed, and that just fills your bucket, you know,
it fills that like the bucket of the insecurities that
I feel like all of us carry, for maybe most
of us, maybe some people don't have any, but I
(28:31):
sure do. And I you know, I loved being able
to give myself that sense of pride that I can
do hardly.
Speaker 1 (28:39):
I love that For you. Do you miss the adrenaline
of it all? Do you miss jumping out of boats
and jumping off bridges? Do you miss sleeping on a cot?
Speaker 2 (28:49):
Oh? I sure don't know.
Speaker 1 (28:50):
Do you miss having someone shout in your face like that,
for me, I will be like, Okay, this is my
personal space and this is your personal space. I wouldn't
have been able to handle the shouting.
Speaker 2 (29:02):
It's really hard. It's very hard. But what I realized,
I think maybe even before we started filming, was I
think that the whole and I interviewed you, Who's the
guy who was yelling at me as I'm leaving the beach.
He's the Navy beal. I interviewed him yesterday for my podcast,
(29:24):
and that was really actually kind of like a little
full circle moment. But I've realized that we all, like
I just said, the insecurities, like you hear me talking
on the trailer about the devil and the angel on
my shoulder right.
Speaker 1 (29:40):
And.
Speaker 2 (29:42):
I feel like when you all of us are going
to tell there's this inner dialogue right when you're doing
something new, if you're not doing well, you're like, you
shouldn't be here, you need to go home, you don't
deserve to be here. You're too old, you're too out
of shape, like you know, you're not enough, essentially, And
I feel like the reason that the directing staff yell
(30:08):
or the military when they're putting people through basic training.
Is they know that you're telling yourself this in your head.
It's just a human I feel like it's a human thing, right,
And so if you're telling yourself, you're going to believe
what your inner dialogue is telling you. But if somebody
(30:29):
else says it, then you want to prove them wrong.
You want to be like through off, I deserve to
be here. I'm not ready to go home. I know
everyone's waiting for me, but they're really nice people, and
they're going to continue to wait for me, you know
what I mean. So, like, I feel like there's a
reason that they do it. They also want to like
(30:50):
break us down so they can build us up and
show us that we can do hard things and we
should believe in ourselves. It is really hard to take, though,
but I think you know me to that realization at least,
you know. I don't know if that's reality, but that
was kind of my my rationale for why they do it,
and that helped me deal with.
Speaker 1 (31:10):
The yelling what did you guys eat? I'm so curious
about all the details?
Speaker 2 (31:16):
Do you know what's funny? I have the worst memory,
and oh, Jenny, I feel like I'm like, Okay, I
need to go to the doctor because do I have
Alzheimer's or a brain tumor or something, because this is
not normal.
Speaker 1 (31:32):
It's probably just a perimenopause for you.
Speaker 2 (31:35):
Oh, it's sure, it is for sure. Along with just
I've always had a bad memory, but it's gotten way worse.
Speaker 1 (31:41):
I know, it's kind of scary.
Speaker 2 (31:43):
It's very scary. So the details like that, I don't
actually remember a lot of what we ate. I know,
one day it was like pasta, you know, like they
do cook for us, and in the vehicles they gave
us snacks. Those snacks were like yogurt, a sandwich, an orange,
(32:06):
like healthy nola bar. Yeah, but they stopped giving it
to us. I remember Cam. He was so frustrated because
he's giant.
Speaker 1 (32:17):
He needs food, he needs galleries, he needs.
Speaker 2 (32:21):
Food, and he's a vegan and they were giving him
like not vegan stuff and he was just like, I
need food. You guys am not gonna last. So yeah,
the food, you know, it's it leaves a lot to
be desired. But you're it's not like I expected good food,
you know, I wasn't expecting.
Speaker 1 (32:43):
Where's the caterer, where's craft service?
Speaker 2 (32:47):
Please? And actually Denise said that like I was, I
was wondering when we would get our break and we
could go to craft services. Oh, bless her heart.
Speaker 1 (32:56):
She did a great job. She was like, I knew
I'd be the first one to go.
Speaker 2 (33:02):
She was so scared. She did not want to look like, uh,
you know, the weakling that goes first. But yeah, she
was not weak at all. I feel like she didn't watch.
I interviewed her too, and we've talked. When I was
in LA, we did press together and she was like,
I'm not going to watch. I don't like watching myself,
(33:24):
And so I texted her and I'm like, you look
really vulnerable and relatable, and I think that came across beautifully,
like you have nothing to be embarrassed about. I feel
like she had a lot of injuries and she's talked
about them, you know, openly now. But she was dealing
with a lot. We all were. And you know it's
(33:45):
if people leave early, you know, then don't get to
the end. That's okay, that's just their path. So yeah,
she did great.
Speaker 1 (33:55):
What is next for you? Like, what big giant risk
you're going to take next? First, the risked taking a
risk on love a long time ago.
Speaker 2 (34:09):
I haven't looked at it like that.
Speaker 1 (34:11):
Yeah, you're a risk taker.
Speaker 2 (34:14):
Ah, I didn't know that. I mean, actually, like I'm not,
but that's true. I mean, even like we did Celebrity
Marriage boot Camp and that was a whole crazy experience.
Dancing with the Stars was not se Look, it wasn't
even a show, you know. I just was like, okay,
well sure, sign me up.
Speaker 1 (34:36):
I wait, what season did you do of Dancing with
the Stars?
Speaker 2 (34:40):
Number one?
Speaker 1 (34:40):
The very first one? Oh my gosh, I remember because
they sent out those mailers and you opened it and
it was like a twirling dancer. Do you remember, Like
I was mesmerized by it. It was like a dance ball
thingy whatever that's called disco ball. I like a twhirling
dancer When you opened it was a great media thing.
Well yeah, wow, you see you are a trailblazer and
(35:04):
a risk taker. Did you ever forget that.
Speaker 2 (35:09):
You were on Stars? Right?
Speaker 1 (35:11):
Yeah? Season five?
Speaker 2 (35:13):
Okay, yeah, you were an OG two. I love it.
It was a great experience. I don't it's not as
risky that you know, although it is like performing live
on stage in front of a national audience, so that's
a little crazy.
Speaker 1 (35:26):
Yes, it's it's equal like equally death defying to some
of us who don't like doing that kind of thing.
Speaker 2 (35:32):
That's so true, It is true. Next, I feel like
I really just have to get through to the finish
line of you know, getting my kids off to college
or whatever they're going to do after high school. I
you know, that's my biggest goal in life, is just
helping them succeed and be happy. And so right now
(35:54):
it's just kind of revolved around that I continue to
do my podcast and and just you know, work with
companies that I feel like are authentic to who I am,
and you know, happily promote them via social media, and
then just hope that in two years or howeur many
(36:14):
is left when my kids are gone, that I can
I can figure out how, you know, how to truly
continue to get back to me and enjoy my life
with Ryan after they're run.
Speaker 1 (36:27):
Oh, your husband is a risk taker too, He's a fireman, right.
Speaker 2 (36:32):
Very yes, it's it's who he is at his core,
like running in when everyone else is running out, that
that's him. So yes, big time. He's always been a
huge risk taker and I look up to that. And
actually that was that was also part of the reason
that I did the show is you know, they were
asking me when I thought they should be asking him,
(36:54):
and I wanted to have him kind of live vicariously
through me until they get him on the sho show.
I'm pushing Fox, like, get right on the show. He
needs to do it next.
Speaker 1 (37:04):
He'd be so great too, he would be so great.
Speaker 2 (37:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (37:09):
Well, yeah, it seems like with all that you've learned
about yourself in this new confidence that you always had,
but you kind of had to rekindle and get back
in touch with you know, I know what it's like
when you're a mom and you you give it all away.
And I'm so happy that you were able to find
that light inside of you and just let it burn
(37:32):
because you did a very risky thing. And uh, you
should be so proud of yourself.
Speaker 2 (37:38):
Thank you. I am. I'm proud. I even you know,
we had like a little reunion with all the recruits
and the would you would you do it again? And
and I actually raised my hand. I know, I'm a
Looney Tunes, but because it kind of they were once
(37:59):
in a lifetime. You don't normally get to like put
yourself through these challenges and and learn more about yourself,
especially when I'm fifty two, you know, don't You don't
get those chances unless you really do, you know, take
some risks. So I just thought, you know, yeah, sure
(38:20):
I would do it again. Maybe I would rethink it
if I knew where the location was and I was
freezing cold, because that would definitely be a crux for me.
But but yeah, it was. It was a really cool experience.
And I'm so glad you're watching.
Speaker 1 (38:35):
Yeah, I've been a fan of the show since day one.
More just like in awe of like what is happening
right now? Are these people out of their minds? Like
That's what I'm thinking the whole time I'm watching it.
Speaker 2 (38:47):
Ah, we are a little bit. But if they asked
you for next season, would you say yes?
Speaker 1 (38:52):
No? What part of that didn't you understand? No? I
will not do that. Also, I don't think I could
physically do that anymore with my I have two fake hips,
so I can't imagine even being that cold, or you know,
just be pushing myself to the point I just as
(39:14):
I've gotten older, I just don't push my body further
than I think I should. You know, I have to
listen to my body so much more.
Speaker 2 (39:23):
Yeah, and that's good, that's I mean.
Speaker 1 (39:25):
But the person inside me would love to make the
do that, you know I am. I love a challenge,
I love a risk like that. So the person inside
of me would be like, oh, I really kind of
want to do it. But then I would think about
the physical aspects of it, and I just don't think
I could.
Speaker 2 (39:42):
Yeah you could, though, honestly you could. You'd be surprised
at the kind of things that you can do. But hey,
if you know that, you're like, nope, and your gut's
telling you that, Like I actually went into it. So
I don't know if you believe in angel numbers, but.
Speaker 1 (39:59):
I it was an angels. What's an angel number?
Speaker 2 (40:02):
Angel numbers are like I would be really bad at
giving the other official definition, but the gist of it
is if you see like a number over and over
and over again, or like you see a number pop
up and you're having a particularly hard day or whatever,
it's a way for your guardian angels to reach out
(40:24):
to you and say it's okay, I've got you. Kind
of kind of thing, you know, totally totally. And so
I saw four forty four when before I was about
to turn my phone off. I feel like maybe it
was four forty four in the morning, and and I
(40:46):
immediately looked up what four forty four meant, and it
said something about how your guardian angels are with you.
They they've got your back, you know, they're watching over
to you. And so I went into the experience with
a kind of peace in a way of thinking, I
believing this that that God and you know, my guardian
(41:10):
angels are watching over me. And maybe that also helped
me too, you know, to not be quite as fearful
knowing they they were watching over me. You know.
Speaker 1 (41:22):
Yeah, I totally believe in angels and angel numbers. I
guess that's what you call them.
Speaker 2 (41:27):
Yeah, go look at look at at that. It's actually
kind of cool.
Speaker 1 (41:30):
Did you have your angels visiting you while you were there,
like pushing you or getting reassurance?
Speaker 2 (41:38):
I did, And it's so it's so powerful to me
if you can tap into that kind of thing, that
kind of belief. You know, I haven't lost my parents,
I've lost my grandparents and have had a couple very
close friends and close family friends that have lost and
just just knowing that or believing you know, I know,
(42:01):
just because I believe, but I have faith that they're
watching over me. So yeah, they definitely I felt like
they were there with me.
Speaker 1 (42:10):
I feel like I really started listening to that feeling
that you're talking about of being supported by my angels
or the universe or whatever, God, whatever you want to
call it. I had struggled for so long in my
life to find any kind of faith or belonging, and
so when I started to develop that faith in something,
(42:34):
whether it was the Buddhist teachings that I was learning
or the angels that I felt and saw, whatever, it
is like, if it's the faith, it ignites something in
you and comforts you and pushes you, and just that's
that feeling of comfort I think that I was so seeking.
(42:59):
I found it in faith faith of something.
Speaker 2 (43:02):
Yeah, yeah, for sure. I feel like that's a huge
part of the mental struggle too, and that goes you know,
you don't have to be on special forces to use
this in your daily life, you know, mental setbacks, challenges,
emotional things going on. Faith has gotten me through a
(43:25):
lot a lot in my life, and I I am
thankful that I had that to draw on for the show,
and I'll continue to use that you know every day.
Speaker 1 (43:38):
Yeah, it's faith is amazing. It's right there accessible at
any moment.
Speaker 2 (43:45):
It's almost comforting.
Speaker 1 (43:46):
Yeah. Well, I'm so proud of you. I don't even know.
It's not my place to be proud of you, but
I am.
Speaker 2 (43:53):
I know. At the same.
Speaker 1 (43:54):
Age, I think you're amazing and I'm just in all
that you chose to do this, and you're such a
risk taker and a leader. That's a great message for
your daughter and your son. And yeah, I think you're awesome.
Speaker 2 (44:08):
Right back, as I said, I've been such a huge
fan for so long, So thank you.
Speaker 1 (44:15):
It's been so nice to chat with you. Before I
let you go, though, I want to ask you, Trista,
what was your last I choose me a moment?
Speaker 2 (44:20):
You know, obviously this show was a huge one, but
I'm going to say, like, just yesterday I went was
it yesterday? Two days ago? I went and played pickle ball,
even though my I think my friend, my kids were
needing to be somewhere, and I'm like, you know what,
this is my time. I don't schedule a lot of these,
(44:43):
but this is my time. I'll come pick you up.
You're safe, You're at a friends I'll come pick you
up when I'm done, you know what I mean. So
sometimes you just got to be like, you know what,
this is my time, and if you're safe and where
you you know, where you're okay, then I'm going to
put myself first. So I did that, and I feel
(45:06):
like that is so so important for moms out there
and caregivers just to understand that if you don't fill
your bucket, then you're not going to be able to
fill anybody else's. You're going to be empty, You're going
to be depleted, and so put your oxygen mask on
first and fill your bucket so that you can help
(45:27):
out the people in your life that you're trying to help.
It's so important.
Speaker 1 (45:32):
Love that message. Thank you so much for coming on
the show and sharing your journey with us. You're inspiring
to all of us.
Speaker 2 (45:40):
I hope. So you know, you always wonder like, oh gosh,
how are they going to edit it? And what am
I going to look like? And are people like, oh
what is she thinking? You know, but no cares. Yeah,
I know it's true.
Speaker 1 (45:54):
You you'd prove to yourself what you're capable of, and
it does not matter what anybody yel thinks.
Speaker 2 (46:01):
Thank you agreed. I need to hear that good. Thank
you for telling.
Speaker 1 (46:05):
Me we'll stay safe, be well loved.
Speaker 2 (46:11):
Please please, much love,
You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Garth. Hey, everybody,
welcome to I Choose Me. This podcast, as you know,
is all about the choices we make and where they
lead us. Life is a way of presenting us with
opportunities for growth and change. When we're faced with a
(00:22):
new opportunity, we either make a safe, familiar choice, or
maybe we see this opportunity as a place to make
choices that propel us towards unfamiliar, uncertain places and experiences.
I think it's in those risky choices where we find
the most gorgeous and rewarding personal growth and Rea mention
(00:43):
of ourselves. My guest today has taken some big and
bold risks in her life. You know her from being
the first ever bachelorette and from her podcast Almost Famous Ogs.
She recently participated on the new season of Special Forces
on Fox and spoiler alert, even though her time on
(01:05):
the show has come to an end, I wanted to
talk with her because this show is so extreme. I
don't know how she did it. Please welcome Trista Sutter
to the podcast. Hello Trista, Oh my gosh, I'm so excited.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
You don't even know how many dreams you are making
come true with my college self. And honestly, I feel
like I get you know when people tell you who
you look like, you're a woman of the people. Get
And I've always been like, thank you. That's such a
huge compliment. So I really like that. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
Well, I'm also a fan of yours. Been watching you
since you're on the Bachelor.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
That's a long time ago.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
That's a long time ago. Oh my god, you were
the very first bachelorette, like you are the reason there
is it's the Bachelor nation is so strong.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
Well, thank you for that. I don't know if I
can take all the credit, but but yeah, I mean
it's pretty crazy. But it's still going on, Like it
really is pretty crazy.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
It really is.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
Get started. I just want to say I'm so sorry
for everything that you and your family and your community
are going through. It's just heartbreaking.
Speaker 1 (02:15):
Thank you. Yeah, it really is heartbreaking. Oh it's just yeah,
but thank you.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
Yeah, of course, I just I had to say it,
but of course no. I was there actually on Tuesday,
but when it all started. Yes, I was doing interviews
at the Sunset Marquis Hotel and there was a fire
right near our hotel, and then as I was leaving
to go to the airport, like this huge plume of smoke.
(02:43):
You could see it from far away on the four
or five, and then from my plane, I actually took
a video of the Palisade fire. I'm thankful that I
got out when I did. But yeah, I just it's
like all in comor, like it consumes you your mind,
even if you don't live there, like I just my
heart is breaking for.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
Lost me to me too. Just a first off, I
need to know all about this experience that you are having.
Let's talk about Special Forces, because for those of who
haven't seen the show, it's an insane I choose me
moment in itself just for doing this. It's like an
intense boot camp environment. Where what were you thinking when
(03:29):
you said yes to this?
Speaker 2 (03:33):
I mean, come on, no, I don't know if I
was thinking actually right, So at first I actually said hell.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
No, okay, good response.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
Crazy, and then said, don't you want my husband? This
is totally up his alley? Like he would thrive in
this experience. I okay. So the more I thought about it,
after I initially, you know, my gut reaction was to
say no. I talked to my husband, talked to my family,
(04:09):
and watched the previous seasons, and I felt like even
though I was fifty one when we filmed, and you know,
I'm not in the greatest shape of my life. I'm
not like, you know, I'm not I'm not in horrible shape,
but I'm not in the best shape. I'm somewhere in
(04:30):
the middle.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
That's good. That's good to me.
Speaker 2 (04:35):
And I just felt like, you know, yeah, i might
not be the strongest on the show, but I'm looking
my purpose is it's all individual, right, So my purpose
going into it was I dedicated my life to my
family for almost eighteen years. My son, my oldest, is seventeen,
(04:57):
so I look for opportunities to give back to myself
and challenge myself. And with them leaving soon, you know,
making me an empty nester with Ryan, I'm just really
faced with this moment of And you have an older daughter, right,
(05:19):
maybe two that are yeah, so.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
You know you know youngest is eighteen, so yeah, okay, yes.
Speaker 2 (05:26):
You know exactly. So I it's hard like when you
when you've poured into your family and your kids for
so long and it becomes your identity. I'm really trying
to get back to the person I am without my kids,
because not to take away from being a mom, it's
(05:47):
my greatest, greatest joy and I wouldn't take back any
of the time that I have given to my family
and my kids. But now I'm kind of looking to
the future and thinking, I really need to figure out
who I'm going to be when they're gone. So that
was my reason for doing it, and I'm really glad
(06:09):
I did. I'm really grateful for it. Actually it's crazy,
it's contense, but it was amazing.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
Okay, So yeah, this was, like I said before, the
ultimate I Choose me moment for you is just like
I need to figure out who I am and what
I'm capable of again, because I can fully relate with
You've given yourself all to your kids and your family,
and when you do that, you do you spend some
time thinking, well, what am I instead of that? Like
(06:38):
what am I without that? Because you're about to be
faced with a whole different kind of parenting And I
think it's so intuitive of you too. Yeah, first have
that negative reaction of like, uh no, thank you. I've
got to be honest with you. They asked me to
do the show on the first season. There was nothing
(07:00):
for me to watch to like yet what it was like,
and just from the description, I was like, yeah, that's
a no for me. I'm sorry. I don't need to
push myself like that anymore. I know. I know what
I'm capable of, and I know what I'm not capable of.
And I'm really not capable of leaping from a speedboat
onto a helicopter. I do not know how you did
(07:23):
these things. I just I want to know everything. Yeah,
you guys are getting like pushed into freezing cold water,
like I said, jumping from helicopters, you're bungee jumping off
of the tall bridges. I've only seen the first two episodes,
but oh my god, I'm on the edge of my
seat for you and for all of the casts.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (07:43):
Did you do anything to prepare yourself ahead of time?
Speaker 2 (07:45):
I tried. I talked to Hannah Brown, who was you know,
on a Bachelorette and won the first season. And if
you call it winning, like you know, she won for herself,
but she made it to the end of the first season,
and so I called her and she was like, as
much hiking running you can do with a big, huge backpack,
(08:08):
on your back and I wish I had done more.
Is all I have to say, Like I did.
Speaker 1 (08:13):
You take her seriously or did you like I'm going
to do this every day?
Speaker 2 (08:17):
I took her seriously. But I had back surgery lumbar fusion.
I don't know, maybe like ten years ago. My back
is way better than it was. I felt like a
ninety year old. But after the surgery, I always say,
I wish I had had it sooner. Well, they the
medical you know, they have to clear you medically, and
the medical team wasn't going to clear me. And they
(08:39):
told me, sorry, we can't have you on the show
because we can't clear you. And I was like, I'm sorry,
but Jack Osborne was on it with multiple sclerosis, like
you know, people had previous injuries, right, And so I
was like, well, why don't you let me make that
decision for myself and leave when I feel like I can't?
(09:00):
But why like exclude me from doing it when it's
just because I've had surgery. And they were like, well,
we don't know how you're going to be being pushed
off a boat now. Is anyone gonna be okay being
pushed off or does.
Speaker 1 (09:13):
Anybody know how let's see, how did I act last
time I got pushed off a speedboat exactly.
Speaker 2 (09:24):
So while I was working through that with the medical
team and the producers, I am super superstitious, and I thought,
I'm going to jinx myself if I keep working out.
So I've freaking stopped. I mean, and I knew like
three months before they asked me like three months before.
Had I continued and done it every day like I
(09:45):
should have, I would have been an amazing shape. But
didn't I know it. It bothers me. I wish I
would could have, because what you don't see on the
show is in between the tasks and the accommodations where
we're sleeping or like the first day when we started
(10:06):
at that, like off the boat getting pushed off the boat.
You run everywhere, you run all the time, and you're
running with a massive military rucksack backpack that has to
be filled to fifteen kilograms, which is like I think
it ends up being like thirty five pounds or something
(10:29):
like that. So if your pack isn't thirty five pounds,
then you have to fill it with sand until it's
thirty five pounds and carry that everywhere you go. In
between and I don't know. I just feel like I
don't like to burden other people. I didn't want to
be a burden to people. And they're helping me carry
(10:50):
my you can see. And when we got to the bridge,
you see Golden carrying a backpack on the front of
his body and his back that front backpack was mine.
So thank God for my angels. But I just I
didn't want to be a burden, you know. So I
really wish that I had trained more.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
Yeah, I can't even run to the corner, Like running
with no backpack is just like not a thing I
can do anymore. Unfortunately, before you accepted this job or experience,
whatever you want to call it, were you like in
(11:37):
the mindset of choosing yourself or how would you have
just described yourself like before this?
Speaker 2 (11:45):
Before this, I was like, yes, occasionally choosing myself. But
I'm still in it. I mean, my daughter doesn't drive yet,
so I am still like her, you know, essentially her
chauffeur and set her and you know, all those things.
So I'm still in it really with my with my
(12:06):
kids and just looking forward, looking forward to the time
when they're going to be gone, because I have a
lot of friends who are going, you know, through that
and becoming empty nesters. But so I'm still in it
and maybe not choosing myself as much as hopefully after
(12:27):
they're gone. But but yeah, that's kind of where my
mind was.
Speaker 1 (12:32):
Since you did have the privilege of watching like the
seasons before, how did you were you terrified? How did
you mentally prepare yourself? Were you like, oh my god,
I said yes to this like a couple of weeks ago,
I'm changing my mind. I don't want to do it,
Like I can imagine I would have been like freaking
out and be like, no, I'm not sorry, pulling out
not doing it.
Speaker 2 (12:53):
Yeah, there was you know, actually no, I take that back.
I feel like once I committed, I was committed. It
was just waiting for my clearance to come through. I
was actually excited. You know, I've had some pretty crazy
ones in a lifetime. Opportunities like this is not people
can pay for, you know, like you don't just go
(13:13):
to the special courses and be like, hey, can you
put me through base camp boot camp? You know? So
I feel really lucky that I got asked, and I
really wanted to take it seriously and and make my
kids proud, make my husband proud, make myself proud, make
my family proud. You know, so, no, I was. I
(13:34):
was definitely committed once I committed.
Speaker 1 (13:37):
M hmm. What was that like, having to leave your
family and go I don't even know where you filmed
that where you have to go far away? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (13:47):
Yeah, we filmed in Wales, so I London. Yeah, it
was far and it was when my kids were still
in school, so they were going through finals. So well,
that was really hard because you know, I wanted to
be here to help them through that those last couple
of weeks of school. And of course they take away
(14:09):
your phone once you start filming, so that was difficult.
But I will say that's also another I Choose me moment,
is just knowing that I wasn't going to have access
to my family and vice versa, and saying, you know what,
I'm going to choose me in this moment and really
stay committed to the show and do what I need
(14:31):
to do. And this is one of the things.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
Yeah, I mean, because you said you didn't have your phone,
was there a feeling of like isolation or just like
complete disconnect from because you're so I would imagine in
that environment. You have to just fully jump in and
be consumed by it all the time.
Speaker 2 (14:49):
You do, you do. I think that's how you probably
survive is you really just have to stay committed and
remembering your why and your purpose being there. That I
think is a big part of the mental preparation is
just really committing, you know, and not lying to yourself,
(15:10):
you know, like really being honest with yourself for why
you're doing it and giving it your all. Because it's
very similar in that way to the Bachelor and Bachelorette.
You really have to just give in emotionally to the
experience because you can't get out of it anything if
you don't fully you know, commit to the experience and
(15:31):
truthfully be yourself, right right.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
I think that's the case with any experience, right.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
Yeah, totally. I agree, any relationship, any experience. Yeah, you
gotta agree. Just dive in, yep, and I did. Or
I got pushed in, but you didn't die.
Speaker 1 (15:48):
You got pushed in. I was like, ouch my neck.
I would have come up and come been like, you're
I have whiplash. You seem to get pretty close with
some of your fellow castmates. Who would you say you
were closest with and who did you rely on the most.
Speaker 2 (16:05):
Yeah, so, like I mentioned my angels as as it
showed in the last part of that, well, they're calling
it the second episode, the second hour of the first episode,
however you want to look at it. And after the beach,
which was like the surf emrgin where you're linked up
and you're you know, essentially drowning yourself, I got back
(16:26):
to the vehicle and I went through. They didn't show
much of it, but I went through. I believe hypothermia.
Took a while for the medics to get to me,
but I was I could not move my head, I
couldn't lift my head. My jaw was locked. I was
(16:46):
in like lockjaw, if that's what you call it, and
shivering like uncontrollably. And Christy Carlson, Romano and Cam were
in my vehicle and they scooped me up and put
me on their lap and mind you were all wet,
you know, I think, Yeah, I was still wet at
the time, and they scooped me up and like just
(17:09):
kept me close to them for body body heat and
then piled everyone's coats and stuff on top of me.
So they are definitely two of my angels that kind
of took care of me, and I bonded with them
because of that. And then Golden was one of those
people too, like always looking to help. And then you know, Ali,
(17:30):
I've known for years and years, so to be able
to be there with somebody that I already called a
friend was awesome, and she was really there for me
when I was going through that hypothermia. Once I got
back to the accommodations, but Denise Richards and I really bonded.
I loved the entire group, like they're good people, which
(17:52):
is odd, you know, not odd that they're good people,
odd that you know, there's so many people, and I
felt like everyone was a great person. So we feel
like we got lucky. You know.
Speaker 1 (18:03):
It's like a big group of people you would never
expect to have together and they're all so completely different.
I can imagine like going into that on just being
open and getting to know these people from a different perspective,
you know, like you had that you all are in
the same boat. I'm sure it was so bonding.
Speaker 2 (18:25):
Yeah, it was. I Mean, when you go through anything
challenging or away from your family, away from your normal life,
with you know, other people, you definitely bond if you're
willing to. You know, I'm sure there's people who go
into this kind of experience that are just like, you
(18:45):
know what, I'm here for myself and I'm just gonna
I'm just going to do it for myself. But I
feel like that was one of the big takeaways that
I wanted to take away, And also what I'm so
grateful for now is just having the camaraderie of the
rest of the recruit.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
I know when you went away to do this, there
was a big hubbabaloo on the Internet about some messages
your husband put out there that they were cryptic, and
people were like, oh my god, are they breaking up?
And I was very scared that that was happening, because
you two are like a couple goals, Like I just
(19:27):
think you're such an awesome pair together. But what happened
with that?
Speaker 2 (19:31):
Oh yeah, yeah. So if you look back on it,
and I read it on my podcast with Bob Guiney,
I do a it's called almost Famous Oje's and we
talked about it, and I read the post that Ryan posted,
and now it makes complete sense if you go back
and you know that I'm in Wales filming this show,
(19:55):
but of course I couldn't talk about it because they
have you, you know, dialed into secret. You just can't.
And so I was just away filming the show. My
husband was being really sweet and kind of shouting it
from the rooftops via Instagram, and you know, it was
it was shocking to me, actually, because we've been married
(20:15):
twenty one years, right, and it's been a long time,
and it is really sweet that people actually cared. You know,
most of the time they don't care, and Ryan will post,
you know, sweet things, or I'll post something or whatever,
and most of the time it just kind of you know,
our normal numbers whatever of people who liked it or
(20:36):
commented or reached out and said, you know, happy anniversary,
your happy birthday or what, you know, whatever. But the
fact that it like all the news outlets were talking
about it all everyone was talking about it, and I'm like,
oh my gosh, people have lost their minds. But they're
really sweet for losing their minds.
Speaker 1 (20:57):
That's so crazy. Yeah, I always think when something goes
viral or is lifted out of something, I'm like, wow,
must be a slow news day, because they wanted to
talk about this, but I stopped realizing that it's of
interest to other people because you're just living your life
and you're just having a marriage and a family. All
(21:19):
of a sudden you're in the news and it's like controversial.
I can imagine that would have thrown.
Speaker 2 (21:25):
She having a nervous breakdown? Are they divorcing? Oh my gosh,
Like I mean, I had so many of my friends
from college, from high school, from you know, life here
in Colorado writing me, are you okay? What's going on?
Speaker 1 (21:43):
I'm fine.
Speaker 2 (21:44):
I'm just over in Wills almost probably having a nervous
breakdown from the show. But you know, you know, they
didn't show a lot of what I did, which was
like frustrating for me because I'm like, I do want
to show my kids that I actually did jump off
the rich you know, and and how well I did
(22:05):
at the end. I actually failed that one because I
made noise.
Speaker 1 (22:12):
That was like a good call on their part. I
think that was a little rough. Well, if you jump
off a thing like that and your body's like like slammed,
you get whiplash, Like of course you're going to make
a noise like h or something.
Speaker 2 (22:28):
I mean, I don't know if they have superpowers, they
pretty much do the DS. But they're like, you're an
enemy territory. This is your mission. You're an enemy territory.
You cannot make a noise or else they're going to
hear you. And totally understand that and respect that. But
what I had a problem with is Nathan Adrian did it.
(22:49):
I think he went first or second. He went pretty
early and I was second to last. And I remember
him making like a grunt, like a noise when he
when the bungeee like hit, you know, And I was like,
but he passed, So why do I pass?
Speaker 1 (23:06):
I know, I felt like, you're right, that rule kind
of came on slow and then took everybody out. Basically,
I know, I got a fail for everybody.
Speaker 2 (23:16):
Oh and then the boat. They didn't show me on
the helicopter either, like jumping to the helicopter. And it's
so funny. I was watching with my family like two
nights ago. Finally we got you know, all in the
same house at the same time so we could watch together.
And they were like, wait, why is the helicopter so
(23:37):
close for some people and so far away for some people?
Like Stephen Baldwin. All he had to do was go
like this, like literally that far, you know, poor guy.
Speaker 1 (23:46):
He was so excited and he made it.
Speaker 2 (23:49):
He did awesome, I mean awesome, but it was so close.
And then like Nathan Adrian is six six and he
still didn't make it, and he jumped pretty high. So
that shows you, like, obviously, I mean, it's a helicopter, right,
so they try to get as close as they can
to the boat and they know what they're doing, but
(24:11):
it's just not like a perfect science. So mine was
pretty far away, and I had the fear in the
back of my mind that Foxy tells you when you
get onto the boat, if you don't jump by the
time we need you to jump, then I'm pushing you
in the water from a moving speedboat. And so that's
(24:32):
all I could think was like, Okay, they're telling me
to go, and maybe I should wait for the helicopter
to get closer, but I don't want I don't want
him pushing me off this boat like as we're going
really fast, you know.
Speaker 1 (24:45):
So anyway, complete madness.
Speaker 2 (24:48):
Yeah, it is. It was crazy intent.
Speaker 1 (24:52):
I'm still thrilled by the idea that you like, you
were away and then you had this crazy, wild life
changing experience and and then you come back and you
can't tell your best friend, or you can probably tell
your husband because you know he's not gonna tell them.
Not to tell anyoney one. But like you can't tell
anybody where you were, what you just experienced, or like
(25:12):
how it transformed you totally.
Speaker 2 (25:15):
You have to wait, and you know, you just sign
your life away and you also signed that you have
to keep everything in secret. And it's not my first
rodeo when it comes to that. You know, like I
I remember signing the contract for Bachelor and they were like, Okay,
well if you tell anybody, then we're going to see
you five million dollars. I'm like, good luck with that,
because I don't have it. Yeah, but it's like, you know,
(25:39):
the fear, the fear of God or the fear of
lawyers are put into you and you're like, okay, well
guys have it Zip Phillips.
Speaker 1 (25:47):
Yeah, how would you say as a wife, as a mother,
this experience sort of changed you or maybe changed even
your approach on life moving forward.
Speaker 2 (26:04):
You know, I know that I can do hard things,
you know when you said in the beginning, I know
what I can do and I know what I can't do.
And this is one of those things I can't do.
While I wanted to just challenge myself. If you had
told me six months ago that I would be bungee
(26:24):
jumping off of a one hundred and thirty foot bridge
in the middle of Wales, I would have said, you're crazy.
There's no way I'm.
Speaker 1 (26:34):
Still gonna say it. You're crazy.
Speaker 2 (26:36):
I am. I am, and I am so proud of
myself that I did that. I treaded water for fifteen minutes,
you know, like that's not something that I do on
a daily basis. So I am just proud. I'm proud
of myself. I walk away from the experience thinking, you
(26:57):
know what, you should be proud of yourself. You did
really hard things and you survived and lived to tail
the tail Yeah, by god.
Speaker 1 (27:09):
I would, Yeah, I would. I would imagine a sense
of some sort of affirmative feeling in my either ability
to do hard things or my just even being risky,
you know, in that way it didn't make those choices.
Speaker 2 (27:25):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, And that's that's kind of normal life
for me too, is being not risky. You know, I
played pickleball and majong and like it's everywhere, and yeah,
those are not risky things, So I'm not usually that
risk taker. I never really have been. I've been an athlete,
but I haven't been a risk taker. The biggest risk
(27:47):
I feel like I did before this was rock climbing,
and I was terrified of that. But actually I kept
saying during the bridge that I wasn't as scared because
I had been rock climbing and the heights weren't as
much of a fear for me as they had been
in the past. So you never know. I mean, I
(28:09):
feel like it's really a great feeling when you challenge
yourself and you, you know, are able to surprise yourself
and succeed, and that just fills your bucket, you know,
it fills that like the bucket of the insecurities that
I feel like all of us carry, for maybe most
of us, maybe some people don't have any, but I
(28:31):
sure do. And I you know, I loved being able
to give myself that sense of pride that I can
do hardly.
Speaker 1 (28:39):
I love that For you. Do you miss the adrenaline
of it all? Do you miss jumping out of boats
and jumping off bridges? Do you miss sleeping on a cot?
Speaker 2 (28:49):
Oh? I sure don't know.
Speaker 1 (28:50):
Do you miss having someone shout in your face like that,
for me, I will be like, Okay, this is my
personal space and this is your personal space. I wouldn't
have been able to handle the shouting.
Speaker 2 (29:02):
It's really hard. It's very hard. But what I realized,
I think maybe even before we started filming, was I
think that the whole and I interviewed you, Who's the
guy who was yelling at me as I'm leaving the beach.
He's the Navy beal. I interviewed him yesterday for my podcast,
(29:24):
and that was really actually kind of like a little
full circle moment. But I've realized that we all, like
I just said, the insecurities, like you hear me talking
on the trailer about the devil and the angel on
my shoulder right.
Speaker 1 (29:40):
And.
Speaker 2 (29:42):
I feel like when you all of us are going
to tell there's this inner dialogue right when you're doing
something new, if you're not doing well, you're like, you
shouldn't be here, you need to go home, you don't
deserve to be here. You're too old, you're too out
of shape, like you know, you're not enough, essentially, And
I feel like the reason that the directing staff yell
(30:08):
or the military when they're putting people through basic training.
Is they know that you're telling yourself this in your head.
It's just a human I feel like it's a human thing, right,
And so if you're telling yourself, you're going to believe
what your inner dialogue is telling you. But if somebody
(30:29):
else says it, then you want to prove them wrong.
You want to be like through off, I deserve to
be here. I'm not ready to go home. I know
everyone's waiting for me, but they're really nice people, and
they're going to continue to wait for me, you know
what I mean. So, like, I feel like there's a
reason that they do it. They also want to like
(30:50):
break us down so they can build us up and
show us that we can do hard things and we
should believe in ourselves. It is really hard to take, though,
but I think you know me to that realization at least,
you know. I don't know if that's reality, but that
was kind of my my rationale for why they do it,
and that helped me deal with.
Speaker 1 (31:10):
The yelling what did you guys eat? I'm so curious
about all the details?
Speaker 2 (31:16):
Do you know what's funny? I have the worst memory,
and oh, Jenny, I feel like I'm like, Okay, I
need to go to the doctor because do I have
Alzheimer's or a brain tumor or something, because this is
not normal.
Speaker 1 (31:32):
It's probably just a perimenopause for you.
Speaker 2 (31:35):
Oh, it's sure, it is for sure. Along with just
I've always had a bad memory, but it's gotten way worse.
Speaker 1 (31:41):
I know, it's kind of scary.
Speaker 2 (31:43):
It's very scary. So the details like that, I don't
actually remember a lot of what we ate. I know,
one day it was like pasta, you know, like they
do cook for us, and in the vehicles they gave
us snacks. Those snacks were like yogurt, a sandwich, an orange,
(32:06):
like healthy nola bar. Yeah, but they stopped giving it
to us. I remember Cam. He was so frustrated because
he's giant.
Speaker 1 (32:17):
He needs food, he needs galleries, he needs.
Speaker 2 (32:21):
Food, and he's a vegan and they were giving him
like not vegan stuff and he was just like, I
need food. You guys am not gonna last. So yeah,
the food, you know, it's it leaves a lot to
be desired. But you're it's not like I expected good food,
you know, I wasn't expecting.
Speaker 1 (32:43):
Where's the caterer, where's craft service?
Speaker 2 (32:47):
Please? And actually Denise said that like I was, I
was wondering when we would get our break and we
could go to craft services. Oh, bless her heart.
Speaker 1 (32:56):
She did a great job. She was like, I knew
I'd be the first one to go.
Speaker 2 (33:02):
She was so scared. She did not want to look like, uh,
you know, the weakling that goes first. But yeah, she
was not weak at all. I feel like she didn't watch.
I interviewed her too, and we've talked. When I was
in LA, we did press together and she was like,
I'm not going to watch. I don't like watching myself,
(33:24):
And so I texted her and I'm like, you look
really vulnerable and relatable, and I think that came across beautifully,
like you have nothing to be embarrassed about. I feel
like she had a lot of injuries and she's talked
about them, you know, openly now. But she was dealing
with a lot. We all were. And you know it's
(33:45):
if people leave early, you know, then don't get to
the end. That's okay, that's just their path. So yeah,
she did great.
Speaker 1 (33:55):
What is next for you? Like, what big giant risk
you're going to take next? First, the risked taking a
risk on love a long time ago.
Speaker 2 (34:09):
I haven't looked at it like that.
Speaker 1 (34:11):
Yeah, you're a risk taker.
Speaker 2 (34:14):
Ah, I didn't know that. I mean, actually, like I'm not,
but that's true. I mean, even like we did Celebrity
Marriage boot Camp and that was a whole crazy experience.
Dancing with the Stars was not se Look, it wasn't
even a show, you know. I just was like, okay,
well sure, sign me up.
Speaker 1 (34:36):
I wait, what season did you do of Dancing with
the Stars?
Speaker 2 (34:40):
Number one?
Speaker 1 (34:40):
The very first one? Oh my gosh, I remember because
they sent out those mailers and you opened it and
it was like a twirling dancer. Do you remember, Like
I was mesmerized by it. It was like a dance ball
thingy whatever that's called disco ball. I like a twhirling
dancer When you opened it was a great media thing.
Well yeah, wow, you see you are a trailblazer and
(35:04):
a risk taker. Did you ever forget that.
Speaker 2 (35:09):
You were on Stars? Right?
Speaker 1 (35:11):
Yeah? Season five?
Speaker 2 (35:13):
Okay, yeah, you were an OG two. I love it.
It was a great experience. I don't it's not as
risky that you know, although it is like performing live
on stage in front of a national audience, so that's
a little crazy.
Speaker 1 (35:26):
Yes, it's it's equal like equally death defying to some
of us who don't like doing that kind of thing.
Speaker 2 (35:32):
That's so true, It is true. Next, I feel like
I really just have to get through to the finish
line of you know, getting my kids off to college
or whatever they're going to do after high school. I
you know, that's my biggest goal in life, is just
helping them succeed and be happy. And so right now
(35:54):
it's just kind of revolved around that I continue to
do my podcast and and just you know, work with
companies that I feel like are authentic to who I am,
and you know, happily promote them via social media, and
then just hope that in two years or howeur many
(36:14):
is left when my kids are gone, that I can
I can figure out how, you know, how to truly
continue to get back to me and enjoy my life
with Ryan after they're run.
Speaker 1 (36:27):
Oh, your husband is a risk taker too, He's a fireman, right.
Speaker 2 (36:32):
Very yes, it's it's who he is at his core,
like running in when everyone else is running out, that
that's him. So yes, big time. He's always been a
huge risk taker and I look up to that. And
actually that was that was also part of the reason
that I did the show is you know, they were
asking me when I thought they should be asking him,
(36:54):
and I wanted to have him kind of live vicariously
through me until they get him on the sho show.
I'm pushing Fox, like, get right on the show. He
needs to do it next.
Speaker 1 (37:04):
He'd be so great too, he would be so great.
Speaker 2 (37:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (37:09):
Well, yeah, it seems like with all that you've learned
about yourself in this new confidence that you always had,
but you kind of had to rekindle and get back
in touch with you know, I know what it's like
when you're a mom and you you give it all away.
And I'm so happy that you were able to find
that light inside of you and just let it burn
(37:32):
because you did a very risky thing. And uh, you
should be so proud of yourself.
Speaker 2 (37:38):
Thank you. I am. I'm proud. I even you know,
we had like a little reunion with all the recruits
and the would you would you do it again? And
and I actually raised my hand. I know, I'm a
Looney Tunes, but because it kind of they were once
(37:59):
in a lifetime. You don't normally get to like put
yourself through these challenges and and learn more about yourself,
especially when I'm fifty two, you know, don't You don't
get those chances unless you really do, you know, take
some risks. So I just thought, you know, yeah, sure
(38:20):
I would do it again. Maybe I would rethink it
if I knew where the location was and I was
freezing cold, because that would definitely be a crux for me.
But but yeah, it was. It was a really cool experience.
And I'm so glad you're watching.
Speaker 1 (38:35):
Yeah, I've been a fan of the show since day one.
More just like in awe of like what is happening
right now? Are these people out of their minds? Like
That's what I'm thinking the whole time I'm watching it.
Speaker 2 (38:47):
Ah, we are a little bit. But if they asked
you for next season, would you say yes?
Speaker 1 (38:52):
No? What part of that didn't you understand? No? I
will not do that. Also, I don't think I could
physically do that anymore with my I have two fake hips,
so I can't imagine even being that cold, or you know,
just be pushing myself to the point I just as
(39:14):
I've gotten older, I just don't push my body further
than I think I should. You know, I have to
listen to my body so much more.
Speaker 2 (39:23):
Yeah, and that's good, that's I mean.
Speaker 1 (39:25):
But the person inside me would love to make the
do that, you know I am. I love a challenge,
I love a risk like that. So the person inside
of me would be like, oh, I really kind of
want to do it. But then I would think about
the physical aspects of it, and I just don't think
I could.
Speaker 2 (39:42):
Yeah you could, though, honestly you could. You'd be surprised
at the kind of things that you can do. But hey,
if you know that, you're like, nope, and your gut's
telling you that, Like I actually went into it. So
I don't know if you believe in angel numbers, but.
Speaker 1 (39:59):
I it was an angels. What's an angel number?
Speaker 2 (40:02):
Angel numbers are like I would be really bad at
giving the other official definition, but the gist of it
is if you see like a number over and over
and over again, or like you see a number pop
up and you're having a particularly hard day or whatever,
it's a way for your guardian angels to reach out
(40:24):
to you and say it's okay, I've got you. Kind
of kind of thing, you know, totally totally. And so
I saw four forty four when before I was about
to turn my phone off. I feel like maybe it
was four forty four in the morning, and and I
(40:46):
immediately looked up what four forty four meant, and it
said something about how your guardian angels are with you.
They they've got your back, you know, they're watching over
to you. And so I went into the experience with
a kind of peace in a way of thinking, I
believing this that that God and you know, my guardian
(41:10):
angels are watching over me. And maybe that also helped
me too, you know, to not be quite as fearful
knowing they they were watching over me. You know.
Speaker 1 (41:22):
Yeah, I totally believe in angels and angel numbers. I
guess that's what you call them.
Speaker 2 (41:27):
Yeah, go look at look at at that. It's actually
kind of cool.
Speaker 1 (41:30):
Did you have your angels visiting you while you were there,
like pushing you or getting reassurance?
Speaker 2 (41:38):
I did, And it's so it's so powerful to me
if you can tap into that kind of thing, that
kind of belief. You know, I haven't lost my parents,
I've lost my grandparents and have had a couple very
close friends and close family friends that have lost and
just just knowing that or believing you know, I know,
(42:01):
just because I believe, but I have faith that they're
watching over me. So yeah, they definitely I felt like
they were there with me.
Speaker 1 (42:10):
I feel like I really started listening to that feeling
that you're talking about of being supported by my angels
or the universe or whatever, God, whatever you want to
call it. I had struggled for so long in my
life to find any kind of faith or belonging, and
so when I started to develop that faith in something,
(42:34):
whether it was the Buddhist teachings that I was learning
or the angels that I felt and saw, whatever, it
is like, if it's the faith, it ignites something in
you and comforts you and pushes you, and just that's
that feeling of comfort I think that I was so seeking.
(42:59):
I found it in faith faith of something.
Speaker 2 (43:02):
Yeah, yeah, for sure. I feel like that's a huge
part of the mental struggle too, and that goes you know,
you don't have to be on special forces to use
this in your daily life, you know, mental setbacks, challenges,
emotional things going on. Faith has gotten me through a
(43:25):
lot a lot in my life, and I I am
thankful that I had that to draw on for the show,
and I'll continue to use that you know every day.
Speaker 1 (43:38):
Yeah, it's faith is amazing. It's right there accessible at
any moment.
Speaker 2 (43:45):
It's almost comforting.
Speaker 1 (43:46):
Yeah. Well, I'm so proud of you. I don't even know.
It's not my place to be proud of you, but
I am.
Speaker 2 (43:53):
I know. At the same.
Speaker 1 (43:54):
Age, I think you're amazing and I'm just in all
that you chose to do this, and you're such a
risk taker and a leader. That's a great message for
your daughter and your son. And yeah, I think you're awesome.
Speaker 2 (44:08):
Right back, as I said, I've been such a huge
fan for so long, So thank you.
Speaker 1 (44:15):
It's been so nice to chat with you. Before I
let you go, though, I want to ask you, Trista,
what was your last I choose me a moment?
Speaker 2 (44:20):
You know, obviously this show was a huge one, but
I'm going to say, like, just yesterday I went was
it yesterday? Two days ago? I went and played pickle ball,
even though my I think my friend, my kids were
needing to be somewhere, and I'm like, you know what,
this is my time. I don't schedule a lot of these,
(44:43):
but this is my time. I'll come pick you up.
You're safe, You're at a friends I'll come pick you
up when I'm done, you know what I mean. So
sometimes you just got to be like, you know what,
this is my time, and if you're safe and where
you you know, where you're okay, then I'm going to
put myself first. So I did that, and I feel
(45:06):
like that is so so important for moms out there
and caregivers just to understand that if you don't fill
your bucket, then you're not going to be able to
fill anybody else's. You're going to be empty, You're going
to be depleted, and so put your oxygen mask on
first and fill your bucket so that you can help
(45:27):
out the people in your life that you're trying to help.
It's so important.
Speaker 1 (45:32):
Love that message. Thank you so much for coming on
the show and sharing your journey with us. You're inspiring
to all of us.
Speaker 2 (45:40):
I hope. So you know, you always wonder like, oh gosh,
how are they going to edit it? And what am
I going to look like? And are people like, oh
what is she thinking? You know, but no cares. Yeah,
I know it's true.
Speaker 1 (45:54):
You you'd prove to yourself what you're capable of, and
it does not matter what anybody yel thinks.
Speaker 2 (46:01):
Thank you agreed. I need to hear that good. Thank
you for telling.
Speaker 1 (46:05):
Me we'll stay safe, be well loved.
Speaker 2 (46:11):
Please please, much love,
Hosts And Creators
Tori Spelling
Jennie Garth
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