June 5, 2024 • 45 mins
Does Mr. Right exist? Amy and T.J. debate this notion.
Plus, they analyze bread crumbing as well as a sure fire way to know you are with the wrong person.
Amy and T.J. are joined by celebrity dating coach Thalia Ouimet to discuss it all.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Hey there, folks, is there even a such thing as
a mister right? Well? Our guest in studio today says yes,
but my co host says, she's still looking for him,
and with that, welcome to this episode of Amy and TJ. Rose.
You're still looking for him?
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Uh? I mean I think I'm looking right at him.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
You're looking at him or looking for him?
Speaker 2 (00:25):
This at him, not for him, at him? And I
was never looking for him. He just was there all along.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
No one, come on now, wait, in all of your
was there site at some point in your mind? At
some point your dating life? I know you kind of
had a couple of long marriages, but did you have
a mindset growing up that there is a mister right
for you?
Speaker 2 (00:46):
Oh? My god, Yes, you know how much I love
my rom coms and all of my you know, Disney
movies and Broadway musicals where in the end and Jane Austen,
where everything works out and you find your man. Yes,
of course I wanted that. Of course I thought that
was out there.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
Okay, now tell me what is your definition? And I'm
not saying like put me into that category, but what
generally would you think women are talking about when they
say there is a mister right or is that different
for everybody?
Speaker 2 (01:13):
No? I actually don't think it is. I think I
think for women, we want somebody who supports us, somebody
who is attracted to us. We want somebody who loves
us even when we're at our worst and can like
us when we're at our best. Yeah. I think that
sums it up.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
Is that everybody's missus right as well? I mean, is
that that sounds like something that's in human nature versus
this is not a mad woman thing?
Speaker 2 (01:42):
Probably not? But only you could tell me that.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
What did you say?
Speaker 2 (01:45):
I was?
Speaker 1 (01:46):
I can't even read my own handwriting? The first thing
supports us, yes, attracted to us yep, loves us at
our words, at our worst ours, and likes us at
our best, at our best. Okay, Yeah, I think everybody
is looking for that thing. Then why is it so difficult?
Is it difficult to find that person you're looking for?
(02:06):
Or you might get exactly what you're looking for, and
then you air in how you go about the relationship,
because getting the right person does that mean you're in
the right relationship? Getting the right person does that mean
now you're in a forever relationship?
Speaker 2 (02:24):
I think if you're with the other person who's in
it and committed to going through the moments when you
don't necessarily like the person you love. That's where the
trouble ensues. When I said love us when we're at
our worst, I think that's the ding ding ding ding ding.
I think that's the tough part. I think that's when
it gets hard. I think that's when people say the
rest of it isn't good enough to support that, whatever
(02:46):
it is. But I think for me that is the
telltale sign.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
You think I love you at your worst?
Speaker 2 (02:54):
That's TBD.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
So I haven't seen your worst.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
No, I think you've see my worst. I'm not sure
if you love me when I'm at my worst?
Speaker 1 (03:01):
You know what is Tell me what it is?
Speaker 2 (03:04):
I've experienced your expression of your reaction to it.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
No, No, what is you? What is it? You at
your worst? It's what I.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
Don't know, Probably me saying something not so nice and
walking away. I don't That hasn't happened yet.
Speaker 1 (03:20):
It happened once.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
It did happen once.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
It was a dramatic exit.
Speaker 2 (03:25):
Happened once though, And did you still love me? No?
Speaker 1 (03:30):
No, the love is never a question. The love is
never questioned, it's only about the like so all we're
talking about. I'm holding in my hand a book and
the title of that book is how to attract the
right guy, avoid situationships, step into wifey energy, and get
him to commit.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
I think that's what a lot of women want.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
How many years ago could you have used.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
Yeah? Maybe from the beginning. This started very early for me.
I was engaged at twenty one. Wow, yes, maybe I
just from twenty two, Yeah, i'd engaged, same with you.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
Right, Yes, I was married by the age of twenty
three first the.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
Same twenty three first marriage. Wow. Notice we both said
first marriage. So yes, I think, yes, I could have
used this book for.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
Our Gunsden studio. Now we are obviously we have some
relationship experience and a lot of people out there no
matter what, whatever relationship you're in, I think we could
all use some council. And if you're looking for relationship,
we could all use some kind of counsel in some way,
form or fashion. So it's cool to be able to
(04:44):
talk to someone who is now in the business of
getting people together. And Talia we Met is the name. Yes,
Talia we Met. Her last name is we Met, and
she's now a relationship.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
Experts, w e me et like you might think, No,
it's so much cooler than that. It's so French. It's
oh you I et we met like we we we?
Speaker 1 (05:10):
Yeah. So she's a matchmaker author as well and in
the studio with us. Can can we start with that?
Is there a mister right? Should every woman that you
do coach?
Speaker 3 (05:22):
Now?
Speaker 1 (05:23):
Do you tell them there is a mister right for you?
And what is that?
Speaker 3 (05:26):
Absolutely, there's a mister right. And every time you give
your energy to mister wrong, you're missing out on mister right.
So I think we have to get really good at
cutting these bad guys out that are breadcrumbing you so
that you can continue to attract mister right.
Speaker 2 (05:40):
Correct.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
Because Okay, I was gonna say, does everybody in the
room understand where that is? What is the break?
Speaker 3 (05:45):
Yes? Red crumbing? Okay, so it's trending right now. Breadcrumbing
is when someone's giving you a lot of attention and
they kind of pull away because they're seeing other people.
But then they feel you pulling away, so they throw
you a little bit of attention to real you back in.
But they're still seeing so many other people, so they're
kind of playing like hot cold, hot cold. It's very toxic.
We don't like break crumbing.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
But as soon as you say it, every woman who's
gone through that understands exactly what you meant. I have
a question. Is there just one mister right or could
there be a mister right now? I mean, as a matchmaker,
I'm going to.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
Step out here, tell ya apparently this is not my podcast.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
God geez, you are here. My T shirt that says
right now.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
I can explain that story. But tellia you good with
your answer?
Speaker 3 (06:33):
You know, as imagine me as a dating coach, I
am all for mister right, not mister right now. I
do think that people come and come into your life
first season, you know, for a reason as well, But
overall you're looking for a mister right and you're looking
for the one.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
So does the problem though? I know you get people together,
but how much of the success of the relationship. I
guess a they two different things. Can you be a
good match but then end up being mates? Is that
possible that on paper and everything you look good like
they should work and then something changes after a marriage
takes place.
Speaker 3 (07:08):
Well, okay, so now those are kind of two different things.
Now I have seen two matches. We're on paper, it
looks perfect. You know, both devoted Christians, both love golden retrievers,
both blah blah blah, come from the same family type whatever.
But then energetically, I just know that their sense of
humor won't be in alignment. And so I do think
energy comes into a huge play. You know, is she
(07:29):
and her feminine? Is he in his masculine? Like if
there's a lot of different things. So on paper, it
could be a great match, but then the chemistry's off.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
Okay, you said a lot more to it. You said energy,
and this was something I was reading your book and
I was looking at your Instagram page and you talk
to women. Correct me if I'm wrong, if I say
this incorrectly, but that they should be channeling their feminine
energy versus their boss lady energy. Explain why, Oh, I.
Speaker 3 (07:58):
Love that question, because every man loves a feminine woman.
The feminine The feminine woman will win every time. And
it's so easy, you know, especially being an entrepreneur. I
share my books, some personal stories, and it's so easy
to stay in your masculine because you're working hard and
you're constantly meetings and blah blah, blah. But you have
to learn how to turn it off. And I give
(08:19):
all my tips and tricks in the book on how
to tap back into that feminine because it can go
back and forth throughout the day. You just have to
know when to turn it off. Because men aren't looking
to come home from their workday and go on a
date with a woman who only wants to talk about
worker who's very in her masculine in that moment, he
wants a feminine girl.
Speaker 1 (08:38):
Well, you got to help me with this one here, fly,
because I assume some people might take issue with telling
a woman to turn it off turn it on to
almost appease whatever we men might have in our minds
about what the feminine or delicate or weaker sex how
they should behave. So help us work through that part
(08:59):
where a woman hearing I got to turn something off
or or be more feminine to cater to this dude,
or no, or just being.
Speaker 3 (09:06):
Your feminine all the time. But that's hard, Like how
are you going to work a boardroom and being your
feminine the entire time? That's tough. So that's why I'm
saying it's it's truly a balance. No, when to tap
into it's so important as a business woman, as an entrepreneur.
I know one I have to turn on my mask
and to be taken seriously in a room, and I
also know when it turned on my feminine, dainty side.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
So tell you I went to almost apologize. Well, I apologize,
but I'm saying, you're saying it from this it works.
Speaker 2 (09:37):
Well, you're saying for like every.
Speaker 3 (09:40):
Woman I've ever worked with who's a CEO of a
fortune five hundred company is not thriving on these DIDs.
And I empathize with her because I was her. I
lost my feminine energy and I talk about it in
my book, and I'm like, listen, if you once had it,
it can come back. You just have to be self aware.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
A lot of women get that. So I'm sitting from
a different position to where I again, I can only
compare it to an African American who knows how to
almost code switch is what we call it. You behave
this way in front of this audience in the boardroom,
and then you go back to being yourself. You're speaking
from it to where it might to some on the
outside even or might to say it out loud, seems
(10:16):
like offensive. But this is what you all deal with
and talk about all the time. This is reality for
women that from my seat I don't get.
Speaker 3 (10:25):
And look, I've done both, so I can speak to
I wasn't thriving. I'm talking about when I was single
in New York, and I talk about in my book
and make sure all my dating stories how the second
that I hit the jackpot of I had lost that
feminine energy and I was coming into these dates with
the masculine energy. That's when things weren't thriving. And the
second I switched my energy back to feminine when I
(10:46):
was on the dates. So you know, the proof is
in the pudding. That's all I can tell you. And
I give all my tricks because there are little things
you can do on you know, when you get home
to just kind of get back in that feminine flow.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
Tal you, does it feel manipulent? It all? Like I'm
just I'm thinking about because I'm I'm interested to come
into it because obviously I've always had that that probably
that boss lady energy. You were my friend when I
had boss lady energy.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
I mean, oh you're a sweetye pie.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
Your obviously do it. You know that's not true.
Speaker 1 (11:18):
I just want to save you all the time, but
you still.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
You still This is interesting though, Like I'm curious. I
didn't even think to Obviously, I've been married a lot,
so I wasn't dating that much while I was in
my business world. But I'm curious actually listening to you.
I understand what you're saying, but I'm asking you, TJ
as a man, where you turned off at all, because
you would definitely say I had more of the boss
lady energy and less of the feminine energy around you.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
What is the thing I say to you all the time?
You are such a sweetheart. I wish other people knew that.
And really she's a She's this tender, she's sweet and
that feminine energy maybe you speak of, but as a
colleague and saying her around the studio for so long,
nobody has any clue about the person I know. And
(12:06):
that's what your.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
That's what you're saying. You're saying that sometimes women we
have to be That's I've never thought about it like that,
And you have.
Speaker 3 (12:13):
Come to who you really are. That's the truth. And
you know what else I've noticed because I also host
women workshops, and what I've also noticed is that even
when you're in a marriage and you're in a relationship,
sometimes you lose that femininity because sometimes like your husband's
gone for the entire waks, so you're the one taking
out of try. You're doing all these masculine things because femininity,
down to one word, is receiving. That's one word. It's receiving.
(12:37):
It's about receiving. And so when you're in your masculine
for so long in a marriage or in a relationship,
sometimes you lose that. So you have to constantly check
in with yourself. And also, by the way, for the
man's side too. You know, the man needs to stain
his masculine because we as femine, most of us are
not looking for a feminine man, you know, we want
(12:57):
we want to protect and provide her. So it goes
both ways.
Speaker 2 (13:01):
Tell you, I'm kind of blown away because I understand
everything you're saying.
Speaker 1 (13:05):
Oh I love, but you're a blown away that she's
saying it.
Speaker 2 (13:07):
I am. So that's where I'm That's where I'm going next.
I'm blown away that you're saying it. Do you get
a lot of pushback? A lot of people who take
offense to what you're saying about these stereotypical gender roles.
Speaker 3 (13:19):
No, because people are starting to finally say, wait a minute,
like Bob switch, this is why my relationship is not
working out, or this is why I'm not thriving and dating.
And the second they do that little sweage, they're sending
me dms. I don't even know these people, and they're like, Talia,
what you just said in that real change my entire
dating life. What you wrote in that book, change my
entire dating life. So I've had no pushback so far. Really,
(13:40):
really you?
Speaker 2 (13:40):
So that's fascinating to me, And that's interesting. And you're
saying the proof is in the pudding, The proof is
in the pudding.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
I am no, there is nothing, because conversations happen like
this all the time at dinner tables and in living
rooms and whatnot. But how dare you say? Sometimes is
you know what, even obvious to a lot of people.
So I am surprised again you've been doing it. So
I was surprised that you haven't gotten pushback with somebody
taking offense, because anytime, it seems these days, anyone gets
(14:13):
a little offended about gender roles or where this person
should be in the home and this person should be
a protector what'd you say, the feminine is receiving is receiving.
I've never heard that before either.
Speaker 3 (14:25):
Am I. I cover the entire chapter in the book
about femine energy.
Speaker 1 (14:39):
So let's stick with feminine energy here for a second.
Does feminine energy how does it translate in the workplace?
Or can it translate in a positive way in the workplace?
Speaker 3 (14:50):
Of course? I mean it depends on your job, you know.
If I for what I do, I have to be
my maskline for sure. Now, a nurse who's nurturing and
loving and helping assisting elderlies, she needs to be in
her feminine. I think she's thriving in her feminine doesn't
have to be, but I'm sure that that's helpful to her.
So I think it just depends on your job. But
(15:11):
I definitely think if you're a CEO of Fortune five
hundred company running in there with all the feminine you've got,
I would say probably not the best approach.
Speaker 2 (15:20):
You know.
Speaker 3 (15:21):
But when it comes to dating, remember, guys, I'm a matchmaker,
I'm a dating coach. So when it comes to love,
it's so simple. Men love feminine energy and women love
a masculine man. And let's not forget. It's also give
and take when you're in a relationship. There are moments
when a man needs to be emotional and say how
he really feels, and he can be in his feminine
(15:42):
energy in that moment, and she can be in her
mask and say I understand and just you know, hold space.
So it's also a dance to have a good harmonious relationship.
Speaker 2 (15:52):
Is there?
Speaker 1 (15:52):
Ever? What do you say about a man who can't
handle a woman in her her mass, galiant energy who
is in charge. Some would say that says more about
the man than it does about the woman who can't deal.
Speaker 3 (16:08):
So you're asking, what if the man can't handle the.
Speaker 1 (16:11):
Mask energy of the woman. I mean that shouldn't that
be on him? She shouldn't have to change or alter
anything what Some would argue that, hey, that's that's on him.
Why can't he deal with a strong woman?
Speaker 2 (16:23):
You know?
Speaker 3 (16:23):
I personal preference is personal preference. I can't you know?
Speaker 2 (16:27):
You like what you like?
Speaker 3 (16:28):
So, I mean I deal with preferences all day long
with matchmaking. People give me their exact preferences of what
they like, what they don't like. I've had clients say
I want the buss, babe, I have a clients say
I want super feminine energy on the extreme. So it
just depends on your preferences. And it's also about knowing
that a boy yourself and being self aware.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
And I'm sorry, let me make sure go back a
little bit here. The book here is directed at women
how to attract the right guy. But your expertise, your
background and your history and your work is in helping
men come to you and they then say, this is
what I'm looking for, and you may matches, So explain
that a little bit. We didn't do that at the
very top.
Speaker 3 (17:03):
Well, okay, So with matchmaking, I actually just launched on Monday.
I now accept female clients. Oh okay, yes, yes, Well
the world's changing now for the first time, men are
okay with women hiring a matchmaker. She already has a chef,
she already has a driver. Why not a matchmaker? Men
have it too, So for the first time, times are changing.
(17:24):
We love that and now men are having matchmakers sore women.
So I now work with both.
Speaker 2 (17:29):
Okay, So how does the process work? They come to
you and do you have a rolodex that's old school,
a rolodex of men, a rolodex of women. How do
you match make?
Speaker 3 (17:37):
I just have a huge network, so I have a
CRM system with singles, and how it works is the
first step is I decide if I want to take
on the client. The first step is get to know
your client, see if it's a good fit to work together,
and then if it is a good fit, get to
know their preferences and then set them up with some incredible.
Speaker 1 (17:54):
Do You always have to meet certainly the client, but
the potential match you have to meet them ahead of time.
Speaker 3 (18:01):
Okay, this is a very expensive service. This is an investment,
So it would be a disservice to my line if
I didn't take the time to meet them, background check everything.
And you know what, people always ask me, what is
this secret sauce to matchmaking? And I always say, it's intuition.
It's a gut feeling. It's like a knowing. It's like
I just know.
Speaker 2 (18:21):
These two people are going to hit it all well,
So I mean, is it about what they both like,
how they both operate? Like what is the what is
the thing where you say they're going to be good.
Speaker 3 (18:30):
It's a gut feeling, an intuition.
Speaker 1 (18:33):
That's just an expensive process. I'm paying for your expensiveness.
Speaker 2 (18:38):
It would be allergic to dogs. And it's not hard Republican.
We're not studying up with a democrat. Okay, but I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (18:44):
That there is intuition that plays a huge role in matchmaking.
Speaker 2 (18:49):
So when you meet a woman, how do you like,
I don't know how many people you're meeting men women
when you immediately go they'd be great together. How does
that work?
Speaker 3 (18:57):
I can't explain how my brain works, but it is
such a knack. I mean I help people get jobs
all the time. I'm just a connector. Like I'll meet
someone and I'm like, oh, you know what you need
to meet Bob. Bob is also looking to high bubh
blah blah blah or he whatever. That's just how my
brain works. So it's really intuition. Do you have a
success rate to back up? Okay, yeah, I choose my clients.
Speaker 2 (19:19):
One hundred percent.
Speaker 3 (19:20):
Yes, success rate. Yes, I do not take clients. I
know I can't help sus So are we not talking
about the book today? I'm like, got so much for you.
Speaker 2 (19:32):
We're talking about it at all? I mean, your success
rate as a matchmaker certainly affects the book, for sure.
Speaker 3 (19:40):
No, I don't not at all, because the book is
for women that don't want to do matchmaking and they
want to learn how to track the right guy on
their own. So different. So in the book, I cover
in chapter three how to drop the modern day handkerchief,
which means you were out in public and you are
choosing sing who you want to speak to, like which
(20:01):
guy in the bar? Or which guy you want to
talk to?
Speaker 2 (20:03):
You? All right, what's the modern day handkerchief? Oh? You
like this? This is good?
Speaker 3 (20:09):
Okay? So you know back in Victorian era women chose men.
We would drop our handkerchief and the guy would pick
it up and say you drop this and say, oh
did I you know? And so and times haven't changed.
I always in the book I talk about the G
E s E. The grin. The eye is a seductive
energy and it works every time. Basically, what you're doing
(20:33):
is if you see a guy and you're attracted to
him and energetically you want to speak with him, you
give him the G E s C. You drop the handkerchief,
and it works every time.
Speaker 1 (20:43):
Go go through them.
Speaker 3 (20:44):
The g is what the G E s the grin.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
Grin Okay, so the grin, it's just a matter of
a little smile. You just make eye contacting you grin now.
Speaker 3 (20:52):
Overly aggress of a grin.
Speaker 1 (20:53):
You know, just a little grin. All right? Then how
long is the eye contact on that on you feel.
Speaker 3 (20:58):
It, you feel if you'll feel it. Could be three seconds,
could be five. And then the E so grin eyes.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
The eyes are there?
Speaker 3 (21:06):
Okay, so the s seductive?
Speaker 1 (21:08):
Okay, now my needs to help all this one. She
immediately started laughing. She was doing well with the eye contacts.
And then we go into goofy town. Oh I can't
do Okay, what's the seductive?
Speaker 3 (21:20):
Seductive?
Speaker 2 (21:21):
You know?
Speaker 3 (21:21):
You just energy transfers, right, you can tell when someone's
warm or when like seductive energy. It's magnetic and you
just send that like three air energy over there and
then get it. Men get it every time.
Speaker 1 (21:33):
And the the last E was what so grin.
Speaker 3 (21:36):
Eyes seductive energy?
Speaker 1 (21:38):
Energy?
Speaker 2 (21:39):
Yeah, so can you could you read my energy?
Speaker 3 (21:41):
Oh wait, and here's the best part. What there's a
study that says men take up to five times to
realize that it was for them.
Speaker 2 (21:50):
So he's the guy behind him.
Speaker 3 (21:52):
Yes, they'll think it's the guy behind them. And I
share one of the stories in the book about how
the guy was giving it to you, Like the gees
literally pointed to guy and I was like him and
I was like, no you and he was like oh
and then he like walked over to me. He was like, hi, am,
I introduced himself. So it takes me up to five times. So, ladies,
if you didn't catch it the first g s, do
it four more times.
Speaker 2 (22:13):
Wow?
Speaker 1 (22:15):
Wow, that's not you. Are we just talking about this?
That is not going to be you tell me there are?
There are? You have ten commandments? Do the Ten Commandments
of Dating?
Speaker 2 (22:30):
How?
Speaker 1 (22:31):
I don't know if we can go through all ten?
But can you give give me a couple of keys
in there? The ten Commandments of dating? And for anyone
single looking today who's on apps and all that? Right now,
what do you think a couple of the key ones
you would want everybody to have?
Speaker 3 (22:46):
I think the biggest one, the two biggest one that
come to mind is over sharing and over drinking.
Speaker 1 (22:51):
Over sharing and over drinking.
Speaker 3 (22:52):
Okay, and I'll tell you why. So in New York,
as we all know as New Yorkers, the drinking culture
is huge here. The problem with that is there's a
such thing as drunk chemistry versus real chemistry. So if
you want to really figure out on a first date,
is it the alcohol speaking or do we actually have
really good chemistry? I say keep it to one drink
max two maybe forgut, like I don't know, two if
(23:15):
you really just can hold your liquor. But I say, like,
really figure out. Do you guys get along? You know?
And also, no one likes a drunk date.
Speaker 2 (23:22):
Yeah. I was always told they're a ten at two
and a two at ten. That's a problem. Or you know,
bear goggles. We've all heard those curls. Yeah, beer goggles. Whatever?
Speaker 1 (23:33):
Did I mention how much I love her?
Speaker 2 (23:40):
In college I learned like, don't worry, you gotta watch out.
They're a ten at two and a two to ten.
Oh yeah, is that wrong?
Speaker 3 (23:48):
No, it's just it proves the point though. You don't
want to over consume on a d.
Speaker 2 (23:54):
No, absolutely not. No, I totally hear you. Any other
ten commandments?
Speaker 3 (23:58):
The other one was the overshare over share. I gues, yes,
men and women do this. They get when the nerves
kick in. Sometimes you get word vomit and you just overshare. Overshare,
just sharing too much sensitive information with a stranger that
you know, maybe you met him on hinge, maybe you
met him through a friend. It's so important to just
reel it in. Remember high level first dates. It's like
(24:20):
high level just see if there's banters, see if you
guys connect on a couple of things, but not oversharing
about your you know, your last divorce, oversharing about how
you need about us, yes, or about oversharing about you
know what your mom did to you last Sunday. Like
we this person is brand new. We just have to
remember that.
Speaker 2 (24:38):
Yeah, that's definitely good advice for women. I understand. I
am a I am a chronic oversharer, so I will
fully cop to that.
Speaker 1 (24:45):
Unfortunately, I would almost break up with you just so
I could see your next first date with Oh my god,
that is how much you share. It would be a
great social experiment.
Speaker 2 (25:00):
And then he said, no, all right, I loved you
have a visceral reaction to love languages because people put
so much stock, play so much stock in love languages.
You have strong feelings about this.
Speaker 3 (25:16):
Yes, So here's the funny thing. According to studies, you're
most likely not going to end up with someone who
has the exact same love love language as you. However,
it doesn't mean that you can't learn them and then
shift where you put your energy. So, for example, if
your husband is words of affirmation and for you it's
(25:38):
access service. As long as you guys have communicated like hey,
every time you do this and this, it doesn't mean
that much to me because that's not how I receive love.
I need to hear it from you first, or I
need you know, access service. That's how I receive love.
And by the way, fun fact, it's all childhood. However,
your parents showed an expressed love is how you interpret
(25:59):
love with your part So if you had a parent
that never said I love you, but they bought you
gifts all the time, that's all you know to receive love.
Speaker 1 (26:07):
So it's just.
Speaker 3 (26:08):
Something to have a conversation with your partner so that
you're not constantly trying to do all these things. And
it's not even taking into account.
Speaker 1 (26:15):
You know, you mentioned earlier what men want. They want
feminine energy, but in the clients you've dealt with, it
was again you're starting to say female clients now, but
your initial matchmaking was all men. So in what you've
learned from men about what men want from women, and
in a mate. You said feminine energy, But what are
(26:37):
those things?
Speaker 2 (26:39):
You know?
Speaker 3 (26:39):
That's too hard to speak too because every guy is
so different and everyone is so complex, everyone's preferences are different,
So it's it just depends on the person. I've never
had the same type of type. I've actually never had
the same type of client twice.
Speaker 2 (26:56):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (26:56):
Is that you wouldn't say there are any things universally
that men want in this Universally?
Speaker 3 (27:00):
I would say being in your feminine when you're at home.
Sure that could be universal.
Speaker 2 (27:06):
Okay, wow, And I don't think a lot of women
think of that, all right. They're trying to be all
kinds of things. Yeah, to so many people. So it's interesting.
And it's not about being something you're not right, it's
about tapping into a part of you that's truly there.
And I think that's the distinguishment between like pretending or
posturing or manipulating, but you're actually being honest and authentic
(27:27):
with the side of yourself that maybe you've been afraid
to express or told it would be weak to express.
I mean, I think women are dealing with a lot
of different narratives and operatives about what they should be
or how they can be the best version of themselves.
And it's confusing, especially when we think that maybe going
back to gender norms or stereotypical norms is something to
be frowned upon. And I do think that that is
(27:48):
part of where we are today in society.
Speaker 3 (27:50):
But I also think, like coming back to who you are,
like before you got that big, you know, c sweet
executive job. How about coming back to that person you
were before you became a founder of a company? Like
who was that in her child? Was she a feminine woman?
Well she deserves to be that today and in the relationship.
Speaker 1 (28:07):
Well that is no. I love it because so many
of the conversations we have it because I was about
to ask you that the idea that tapping in you
said feminine, and it always in some way gets translated
into weaker, and it shouldn't be. There's it's okay for
there to be a masculine and a feminine. Would you say,
(28:29):
without one being stronger or weaker?
Speaker 3 (28:31):
That's right. Actually, all the power is in the feminine energy.
It's so magnetic. When a woman is truly in your
feminine energy, it is magnetic, and so many things will
happen for you because you're you're in that like abundance receiving.
You're just in that receiving mode of like letting it
happen instead of forcing everything and doing doing doing.
Speaker 2 (28:52):
That's and I'm laughing because I'm hearing you and I'm
understanding that a little bit more now than I ever
have before in my life. But I was always on
the other side of things always.
Speaker 3 (29:03):
Just so you know, I'm right there with you.
Speaker 2 (29:04):
So I'm listening to it. I'm like laughing because for
the first time, I'm open to that part of me
that I haven't been before, like I've always been like, No,
I'm the doer, I'm the getter, I'm the maker, I'm
the creator, I'm the breadwinner, I'm the and so it's
interesting about accepting and not just accepting, but embracing the
other side of yourself in the right relationship, in the
(29:26):
right relationship of you.
Speaker 1 (29:27):
Yes, a part of the title of your book is
avoid situationships, step into wifey energy and get him to commit.
Speaker 3 (29:44):
Wait, can we talk about avoiding situationships?
Speaker 2 (29:47):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (29:47):
If I hear that word one more time on my
coaching clients, because remember, I have a coaching business, but
I also have a matchmaking business. And my coaching clients,
they date all on their own. But I keep hearing
that word to find it, I'm like, hold on here.
Why situationship is when one of the two people as
are dating one persons ready to commit and the other
one's not, and it just gets dragged out and it
(30:10):
never turns into something that is a situationship. And I
am here to say, and you'll read in the book,
do not do wifey duties or girlfriend duties if you
do not have the title. For all the women out
there listening to this podcast, if you are cooking for
this man, or you're taking out his dog, or you're
doing his laundry and you do not have the girlfriend title,
(30:31):
you are doing yourself a disservice.
Speaker 2 (30:34):
Yep, why are you laughing?
Speaker 1 (30:36):
Charge? Because I take care of your dog, I.
Speaker 2 (30:39):
Do your laundry now, and I cook for you, not
take care of my dog. The other two maybe fine,
the laundry and the cooking, yes, but you do not
take care of my dog.
Speaker 1 (30:50):
If I walk in the house right now, who's the
dog going to come through?
Speaker 2 (30:53):
He loves you because you feed him food off the
side and anyway, that's why.
Speaker 1 (31:00):
But a situationship, how you avoided by what.
Speaker 3 (31:04):
By the way, though, that's when, like, the situationship is
when the people one of the two people is seeing
other people like there's not a commitment. That's what I'm saying.
It's a situationship, not a relationship because there's no commitment.
Speaker 2 (31:17):
It's called We used to call it, like, you know,
booty calls. Yes, that's basically what it is.
Speaker 3 (31:21):
It's basically booty calls.
Speaker 1 (31:23):
Why do we get away from that language?
Speaker 2 (31:24):
It was working just fine and it was what it is. Okay,
that's it tries to somehow elevate a booty call.
Speaker 3 (31:31):
Yes, okay, I was more sophisticated way to say booty call.
What happened to booty call?
Speaker 2 (31:35):
Yeah, that's what it is. Wait, wait, we've got we've
got here.
Speaker 1 (31:42):
Who had know more than what's a sneaky link?
Speaker 2 (31:47):
Moder sneaky link? That's one step below a situationship. I
guess I don't know in the hierarchy of I don't
know ships.
Speaker 1 (31:55):
I thought we were talking about your dating and one
wants to getting you've get married and doesn't. No, no,
it's not even that okay.
Speaker 3 (32:04):
No, no, no, no, we're not even there.
Speaker 2 (32:05):
It's not that deep. You said it perfectly. That's exactly
what my twenty one year old would say. It's not
that deep, mom, that's not that deep.
Speaker 1 (32:11):
Tell you, how do you get the other part of
the title, get him to commit? That's heavy? How do
you do this?
Speaker 3 (32:17):
That is it's a lot. It's not just one thing.
You kind of have to read the book.
Speaker 1 (32:21):
Okay, that's okay, but give us some give us some
cliff notes here. How do you get him to commit?
Is that even possible?
Speaker 3 (32:27):
Of course if by getting him to commitment, first off,
you're showing up in your wife the energy. That's the
first thing. Showing up in wifey energy. That's how I
have seen guys who I never thought would commit, but
they met the right girl at the right time, and
she was in her wifey era.
Speaker 2 (32:45):
What's wifey energy? Can you tell me what that is?
Speaker 3 (32:47):
You have to read the book. I mean wifey energy.
It's so many different things. It's it's a lot. It's
like you really have your you have your life together.
You're showing up in you know, you're dressing differently. You know,
like there are times when you're going out with your
girlfriends and you look like a ho chi mama and
I'm like, you're not in your white fie air right now,
(33:07):
like you're just going on having fun and you're not
you know, he he's meeting you, and he's not thinking, Oh,
this is the girl I'm going to take home with
my parents.
Speaker 2 (33:13):
So it's almost like you're you know, you've got a
job interview. You know you want that job, and you're
dressed the part, and you present yourself in the best
way possible, but you definitely don't want to, like I
worry about what happens when he sees it all, you know,
like to hide you're crazy, or to hide some of
the other parts of you that aren't as attractive or
(33:35):
wifey or however you want to call it feminine. At
what point is it okay to show those things, because
eventually they're going to come out right you want them
to know. I would think at some point earlier rather
than later, perhaps that all of this is you, not
just the best version of you.
Speaker 3 (33:51):
Well, let me ask you this, for whoever you were
speaking about, is that person working on their shadow side,
because that's that's another part of it where it's like,
if you're not working on that crazy side of you,
like if you're not doing the therapy, the shadow work,
you're not healing those parts of you. Because anytime someone
gets really triggered and annoyed and they get they start
(34:11):
yelling all these things, all the not so good parts
are called the shadow side. And I think that it's
really important to definitely share that with that person because
because that it's just way too much work to always
be on your A game and.
Speaker 2 (34:22):
Like it's impossible.
Speaker 3 (34:24):
Yeah, someone, of course you show them that side. But
I wouldn't do that on a first.
Speaker 2 (34:29):
Date, you know. And by the way, also if you
say this, forget it. No, I get that. I don't
get it, Like, you know, don't tell me to calm down.
Triggered shadows.
Speaker 1 (34:41):
Ye, but you were going you had a story about it.
You said there was somebody you saw wasn't going to commit,
but you were back to how to get a guy
to commit.
Speaker 3 (34:49):
Oh, and I was just saying that, you know, eligible, bachelor,
super good looking, successful, all the things. I never thought
he'd settle down. And he met that right girl and
it was just the right time, the right energy, and
she had done she healed herself and she was like
in that feminine era and they just ended up together
and so I do think that plays into it too.
(35:10):
So you, yeah, you can get meant to commit.
Speaker 1 (35:14):
Right, No, the right woman, it's always I'm always struggling
with that, the right woman, the right man, and then
there's the right time, and so how does one know?
And a lot of your vice is obviously for people
who are single, but for people who are out there
who are married or in relationships right now, what is
(35:36):
in the book that could help them maybe evaluate or
reevaluate or you're making a face like it's not for them,
We're not going down the road. That's fine, I'll come out.
Speaker 3 (35:46):
So I'm writing five books. The fifth one will be
for the married couples, but we're not there yet.
Speaker 2 (35:51):
This is book number one, and Tell You is really
for those.
Speaker 3 (35:54):
Singles who are struggling, because loneliness is a huge problem
right now. People have never been more lonely. People have
given up on dating at Fatigue is real. And so
this book is something that I was so excited to
share with the world. And it's digestible, it's sure. It's
a thirty minute read and each chapter has an exercise,
so you digest it and then there's a little exercise
(36:14):
and you get to journal in the book, and I
think it's a gift of the world to help the
singles out there right now.
Speaker 2 (36:20):
And tell you tell me a economics major so irrelevant? Yeah, no,
I'm no, And I'm so, how did you get into
this business?
Speaker 3 (36:29):
Oh my gosh. I was matchmaking everyone in high school, college,
you know, post college, and then I just you know,
I got into finance and whatever, and I was like,
this isn't my calling. And my last name is we Met.
I was like, I meant to be a matchmaker we Met,
So yeah, So I ended up I worked for the
largest matchmaking agency in Atlanta and loved it. And then
(36:51):
that's when I said to myself, hold on, I could
do this at a different level, and I could do
it better. I'm gonna own that. So I'm moved to
New York. I booked a one way ticket, was like
couch serving on my best friend's couch for a couple
of weeks building this company. And I said, okay, we're
going to launch on Valentine's Day, and sure enough, it
went viral and everyone's like, oh my god, you know,
Talia wee Met's got our own company now, and like
(37:13):
it took off and I've had it now for half
a decade.
Speaker 2 (37:16):
Oh that's incredible. And do you have your forever person?
Speaker 3 (37:22):
I have someone in my life. Yes, is he my
forever TVD Oh my.
Speaker 1 (37:27):
Goodness, Grace, we'll see. We don't know if he's mister Wright.
Speaker 3 (37:30):
We're so new, We're so new. Okay, I'm following my
own rules. You know, you really have to make sure
and take your time. How new we're like a month deep?
Speaker 2 (37:38):
Oh wow? And how does he feel about dating someone
who is maybe analyzing him all the time.
Speaker 3 (37:44):
Oh no, that's the best part of him. He is
so confident, he is so in his masculine that he
allows me to be in my feminine. Wow, I don't
talk about work stuff. I get to finally be fully
in my feminine. And actually, I think this relationship happened
for a reason. It's going to be in my next book.
Speaker 2 (38:03):
I love it.
Speaker 1 (38:04):
At the next book because we're now we are looking
for another relationship to publicly scrutinize. So so everybody followed
Talia and her one month and guy, can I ask,
there's so much.
Speaker 3 (38:20):
Relationship for two years?
Speaker 2 (38:22):
Oh yeah, that's cool, that's right. Cool. We like that.
Speaker 1 (38:26):
And I don't want to point to anyone in particular,
can you And I don't run the room, but in
news lately, do you ever look at celebrity couples or
things that are being followed in the media and you
have a sense of they are they are a good
match or not a good match? These are people you
do not know. But is there any feeling or guide
(38:48):
in what you're able to see from a distance about couple? Really?
Speaker 3 (38:51):
I mean, I just got down with Access Hollywood. We
were talking about matches celebrity couples, and I'll tell you
there's a couple of celebrity couples that I just love
an adore. I don't personally know them. I might be
one degree separation from them, but I know in my
heart they're a good fit for each other. And they
just have so much value alignment. Their foundation is so
solid because they see the world the same way, they
(39:13):
were raised a very similar light, and I think they'll
make it. And there's some couples where I'm like, oof,
god bless you know they'll figure it out eventually, But
it's not.
Speaker 2 (39:22):
You're talking about. But I could.
Speaker 3 (39:31):
I could absolutely, It's a hunch. It's like an intuitive knowing.
Speaker 1 (39:34):
Yeah, I only have one last question, and this was
for every I'm asking on behalf of women is there?
How do they know he's mister wrong?
Speaker 3 (39:46):
Ooh, I love this question. Okay, how do you know
if it's mister wrong? Your entire and you know what
this is for men and women, this is both. This
is for anyone who's listening, who's single. You will know
because your nervous system, your gut feeling will tell you,
like your anxiety will start to get cranked up. You'll
start to feel stressed around that person. When when you
(40:08):
are with the right person, it will feel like home.
You will feel peace, you will feel serenity, and when
you're with the wrong person, you will have just this
like your I call it the nervous system test. Your
nervous system will just be off. And so it's about
being very self aware because your body will always tell
you if.
Speaker 2 (40:27):
It's mister right, and apparently if it's mister wrong. And apparently.
Speaker 1 (40:34):
Your experience what.
Speaker 2 (40:38):
I mean, it depends on the day. Sometimes how's your
good today feelings on a minute, I mean, and like
to that point though it changes, I mean, you can
still be in a loving relationship and have moments of
oh my god, what have I done. I mean that's
the part of any relationship.
Speaker 3 (40:52):
Of course, you have your highs and your lows, and
every marriage nothing's perfect. But I'm saying, especially in those
early phases, when something feels off, listen to that.
Speaker 2 (41:01):
In the early phases, yes, because later on, there's always
going to be something that's off in any given day
because we've we've been through the trenches. But I get
it now. In the beginning, it should be butterflies and
unicorns and rainbows, like there's enough that's gonna come later.
Speaker 3 (41:16):
It should just feel warm and safe. It shouldn't feel
like that firecracker love. No, those burned fast Yes, you
want the like at home fireplace feeling.
Speaker 2 (41:30):
Like who do you want a Netflix and chill with?
Speaker 1 (41:31):
Oh my god.
Speaker 3 (41:32):
I wouldn't go that far, but I would say, like
like Iday, just wow, I shouldn't chill Like okay, you
can Neflix and chill with someone who still have that
firecracker energy with It's just like a gut feeling. It's
annoying where you just feel so safe with that person.
Speaker 2 (41:46):
Yeah, safety you.
Speaker 1 (41:48):
Really need, like not relationship advice, but like dating advice.
You're asking No, you're looking.
Speaker 2 (41:55):
For someone, No, I'm thinking about all the friends in
my life too. All right, tell you we met. Thank
you so much for being with us. This has been
super fun. Congratulations on the book and the second book,
and the third book, and four and the one.
Speaker 1 (42:07):
Right, what's the schedule in all the books? How soon
you can we expect them?
Speaker 3 (42:11):
Probably went a year the year.
Speaker 1 (42:12):
I'll be dang, well, CONGRATU. Really this is cool to
be and this is fun stuff for us. But there's
we hope everybody can take a nugget or two out
of it, no matter what. But the book is on
sale everywhere Amazon. You can find it there. Again, it's
how to attract the right guy. Tell you we met.
It's a fantastic thing, it really is. Do you want
me to tell you about the shirt?
Speaker 2 (42:31):
Because you oh, yes, you know what. That's a good
way to end it. Mister right now. You haven't worn
it again?
Speaker 1 (42:38):
Wow, everybody's perks.
Speaker 2 (42:40):
I mean, you know you used to come into the
studio with it.
Speaker 1 (42:43):
I was like, well, hello, well it's okay. I do
own a T shirt that says mister right now on it.
Let me explain. I went out to LA and the
hell with it now. I interviewed at entertainment tonight right
I went out there and I was just supposed to
go interview and then fly right back. The same day,
(43:05):
I went out in my suit and interviewed and did
an on camera test and then went back to the airport.
They called me as I'm bored. The flight is boarding,
and they called and say TJ. It went so, well,
can you come back and we want you to record
for a show that's actually going to air tomorrow. But
(43:26):
I wasn't prepared. I didn't have clothes supposed to be
in and out, so they send me to a hotel.
I don't get there until ten to eleven at night.
The only store opened. I don't have clothes. The only
store open at that time was Hustler. So I go
in the Hustler at about midnight. I have never heard
(43:49):
this story before.
Speaker 2 (43:50):
I was with EPIC.
Speaker 1 (43:52):
I'm not sure if I was with CNN at the time.
Who was I with it that, I don't know, maybe
even ABC, I don't know. But I go and I
go into the store and I promise you the kindest
T shirt in there was the one that said mister
right now. So I had to buy that shirt. And
the next day I went into the Entertainment Tonight offices
(44:13):
in the morning meeting with the shirt on that said,
mister right now, and I just haven't been able to
throw the shirt away. But but we're photographed by Papa
Rozzi too much. I cannot wear it.
Speaker 2 (44:24):
I'm never so it's funny, I said, you come into
the studio with it. But ever since we've been together,
thank god, you've never worn it. A smart man, smart.
Speaker 1 (44:32):
Man, tell you should I toss that shirt?
Speaker 3 (44:35):
Absolutely?
Speaker 2 (44:37):
Yeah? He should. He should never wear that ever again.
Thank you, Tellia, thank you much.
Speaker 1 (44:44):
You know where to find us. We're on Instagram, Amy
and DJ podcast. We'll see it.
Hey there, folks, is there even a such thing as
a mister right? Well? Our guest in studio today says yes,
but my co host says, she's still looking for him,
and with that, welcome to this episode of Amy and TJ. Rose.
You're still looking for him?
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Uh? I mean I think I'm looking right at him.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
You're looking at him or looking for him?
Speaker 2 (00:25):
This at him, not for him, at him? And I
was never looking for him. He just was there all along.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
No one, come on now, wait, in all of your
was there site at some point in your mind? At
some point your dating life? I know you kind of
had a couple of long marriages, but did you have
a mindset growing up that there is a mister right
for you?
Speaker 2 (00:46):
Oh? My god, Yes, you know how much I love
my rom coms and all of my you know, Disney
movies and Broadway musicals where in the end and Jane Austen,
where everything works out and you find your man. Yes,
of course I wanted that. Of course I thought that
was out there.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
Okay, now tell me what is your definition? And I'm
not saying like put me into that category, but what
generally would you think women are talking about when they
say there is a mister right or is that different
for everybody?
Speaker 2 (01:13):
No? I actually don't think it is. I think I
think for women, we want somebody who supports us, somebody
who is attracted to us. We want somebody who loves
us even when we're at our worst and can like
us when we're at our best. Yeah. I think that
sums it up.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
Is that everybody's missus right as well? I mean, is
that that sounds like something that's in human nature versus
this is not a mad woman thing?
Speaker 2 (01:42):
Probably not? But only you could tell me that.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
What did you say?
Speaker 2 (01:45):
I was?
Speaker 1 (01:46):
I can't even read my own handwriting? The first thing
supports us, yes, attracted to us yep, loves us at
our words, at our worst ours, and likes us at
our best, at our best. Okay, Yeah, I think everybody
is looking for that thing. Then why is it so difficult?
Is it difficult to find that person you're looking for?
(02:06):
Or you might get exactly what you're looking for, and
then you air in how you go about the relationship,
because getting the right person does that mean you're in
the right relationship? Getting the right person does that mean
now you're in a forever relationship?
Speaker 2 (02:24):
I think if you're with the other person who's in
it and committed to going through the moments when you
don't necessarily like the person you love. That's where the
trouble ensues. When I said love us when we're at
our worst, I think that's the ding ding ding ding ding.
I think that's the tough part. I think that's when
it gets hard. I think that's when people say the
rest of it isn't good enough to support that, whatever
(02:46):
it is. But I think for me that is the
telltale sign.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
You think I love you at your worst?
Speaker 2 (02:54):
That's TBD.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
So I haven't seen your worst.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
No, I think you've see my worst. I'm not sure
if you love me when I'm at my worst?
Speaker 1 (03:01):
You know what is Tell me what it is?
Speaker 2 (03:04):
I've experienced your expression of your reaction to it.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
No, No, what is you? What is it? You at
your worst? It's what I.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
Don't know, Probably me saying something not so nice and
walking away. I don't That hasn't happened yet.
Speaker 1 (03:20):
It happened once.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
It did happen once.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
It was a dramatic exit.
Speaker 2 (03:25):
Happened once though, And did you still love me? No?
Speaker 1 (03:30):
No, the love is never a question. The love is
never questioned, it's only about the like so all we're
talking about. I'm holding in my hand a book and
the title of that book is how to attract the
right guy, avoid situationships, step into wifey energy, and get
him to commit.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
I think that's what a lot of women want.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
How many years ago could you have used.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
Yeah? Maybe from the beginning. This started very early for me.
I was engaged at twenty one. Wow, yes, maybe I
just from twenty two, Yeah, i'd engaged, same with you.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
Right, Yes, I was married by the age of twenty
three first the.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
Same twenty three first marriage. Wow. Notice we both said
first marriage. So yes, I think, yes, I could have
used this book for.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
Our Gunsden studio. Now we are obviously we have some
relationship experience and a lot of people out there no
matter what, whatever relationship you're in, I think we could
all use some council. And if you're looking for relationship,
we could all use some kind of counsel in some way,
form or fashion. So it's cool to be able to
(04:44):
talk to someone who is now in the business of
getting people together. And Talia we Met is the name. Yes,
Talia we Met. Her last name is we Met, and
she's now a relationship.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
Experts, w e me et like you might think, No,
it's so much cooler than that. It's so French. It's
oh you I et we met like we we we?
Speaker 1 (05:10):
Yeah. So she's a matchmaker author as well and in
the studio with us. Can can we start with that?
Is there a mister right? Should every woman that you
do coach?
Speaker 3 (05:22):
Now?
Speaker 1 (05:23):
Do you tell them there is a mister right for you?
And what is that?
Speaker 3 (05:26):
Absolutely, there's a mister right. And every time you give
your energy to mister wrong, you're missing out on mister right.
So I think we have to get really good at
cutting these bad guys out that are breadcrumbing you so
that you can continue to attract mister right.
Speaker 2 (05:40):
Correct.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
Because Okay, I was gonna say, does everybody in the
room understand where that is? What is the break?
Speaker 3 (05:45):
Yes? Red crumbing? Okay, so it's trending right now. Breadcrumbing
is when someone's giving you a lot of attention and
they kind of pull away because they're seeing other people.
But then they feel you pulling away, so they throw
you a little bit of attention to real you back in.
But they're still seeing so many other people, so they're
kind of playing like hot cold, hot cold. It's very toxic.
We don't like break crumbing.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
But as soon as you say it, every woman who's
gone through that understands exactly what you meant. I have
a question. Is there just one mister right or could
there be a mister right now? I mean, as a matchmaker,
I'm going to.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
Step out here, tell ya apparently this is not my podcast.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
God geez, you are here. My T shirt that says
right now.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
I can explain that story. But tellia you good with
your answer?
Speaker 3 (06:33):
You know, as imagine me as a dating coach, I
am all for mister right, not mister right now. I
do think that people come and come into your life
first season, you know, for a reason as well, But
overall you're looking for a mister right and you're looking
for the one.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
So does the problem though? I know you get people together,
but how much of the success of the relationship. I
guess a they two different things. Can you be a
good match but then end up being mates? Is that
possible that on paper and everything you look good like
they should work and then something changes after a marriage
takes place.
Speaker 3 (07:08):
Well, okay, so now those are kind of two different things.
Now I have seen two matches. We're on paper, it
looks perfect. You know, both devoted Christians, both love golden retrievers,
both blah blah blah, come from the same family type whatever.
But then energetically, I just know that their sense of
humor won't be in alignment. And so I do think
energy comes into a huge play. You know, is she
(07:29):
and her feminine? Is he in his masculine? Like if
there's a lot of different things. So on paper, it
could be a great match, but then the chemistry's off.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
Okay, you said a lot more to it. You said energy,
and this was something I was reading your book and
I was looking at your Instagram page and you talk
to women. Correct me if I'm wrong, if I say
this incorrectly, but that they should be channeling their feminine
energy versus their boss lady energy. Explain why, Oh, I.
Speaker 3 (07:58):
Love that question, because every man loves a feminine woman.
The feminine The feminine woman will win every time. And
it's so easy, you know, especially being an entrepreneur. I
share my books, some personal stories, and it's so easy
to stay in your masculine because you're working hard and
you're constantly meetings and blah blah, blah. But you have
to learn how to turn it off. And I give
(08:19):
all my tips and tricks in the book on how
to tap back into that feminine because it can go
back and forth throughout the day. You just have to
know when to turn it off. Because men aren't looking
to come home from their workday and go on a
date with a woman who only wants to talk about
worker who's very in her masculine in that moment, he
wants a feminine girl.
Speaker 1 (08:38):
Well, you got to help me with this one here, fly,
because I assume some people might take issue with telling
a woman to turn it off turn it on to
almost appease whatever we men might have in our minds
about what the feminine or delicate or weaker sex how
they should behave. So help us work through that part
(08:59):
where a woman hearing I got to turn something off
or or be more feminine to cater to this dude,
or no, or just being.
Speaker 3 (09:06):
Your feminine all the time. But that's hard, Like how
are you going to work a boardroom and being your
feminine the entire time? That's tough. So that's why I'm
saying it's it's truly a balance. No, when to tap
into it's so important as a business woman, as an entrepreneur.
I know one I have to turn on my mask
and to be taken seriously in a room, and I
also know when it turned on my feminine, dainty side.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
So tell you I went to almost apologize. Well, I apologize,
but I'm saying, you're saying it from this it works.
Speaker 2 (09:37):
Well, you're saying for like every.
Speaker 3 (09:40):
Woman I've ever worked with who's a CEO of a
fortune five hundred company is not thriving on these DIDs.
And I empathize with her because I was her. I
lost my feminine energy and I talk about it in
my book, and I'm like, listen, if you once had it,
it can come back. You just have to be self aware.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
A lot of women get that. So I'm sitting from
a different position to where I again, I can only
compare it to an African American who knows how to
almost code switch is what we call it. You behave
this way in front of this audience in the boardroom,
and then you go back to being yourself. You're speaking
from it to where it might to some on the
outside even or might to say it out loud, seems
(10:16):
like offensive. But this is what you all deal with
and talk about all the time. This is reality for
women that from my seat I don't get.
Speaker 3 (10:25):
And look, I've done both, so I can speak to
I wasn't thriving. I'm talking about when I was single
in New York, and I talk about in my book
and make sure all my dating stories how the second
that I hit the jackpot of I had lost that
feminine energy and I was coming into these dates with
the masculine energy. That's when things weren't thriving. And the
second I switched my energy back to feminine when I
(10:46):
was on the dates. So you know, the proof is
in the pudding. That's all I can tell you. And
I give all my tricks because there are little things
you can do on you know, when you get home
to just kind of get back in that feminine flow.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
Tal you, does it feel manipulent? It all? Like I'm
just I'm thinking about because I'm I'm interested to come
into it because obviously I've always had that that probably
that boss lady energy. You were my friend when I
had boss lady energy.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
I mean, oh you're a sweetye pie.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
Your obviously do it. You know that's not true.
Speaker 1 (11:18):
I just want to save you all the time, but
you still.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
You still This is interesting though, Like I'm curious. I
didn't even think to Obviously, I've been married a lot,
so I wasn't dating that much while I was in
my business world. But I'm curious actually listening to you.
I understand what you're saying, but I'm asking you, TJ
as a man, where you turned off at all, because
you would definitely say I had more of the boss
lady energy and less of the feminine energy around you.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
What is the thing I say to you all the time?
You are such a sweetheart. I wish other people knew that.
And really she's a She's this tender, she's sweet and
that feminine energy maybe you speak of, but as a
colleague and saying her around the studio for so long,
nobody has any clue about the person I know. And
(12:06):
that's what your.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
That's what you're saying. You're saying that sometimes women we
have to be That's I've never thought about it like that,
And you have.
Speaker 3 (12:13):
Come to who you really are. That's the truth. And
you know what else I've noticed because I also host
women workshops, and what I've also noticed is that even
when you're in a marriage and you're in a relationship,
sometimes you lose that femininity because sometimes like your husband's
gone for the entire waks, so you're the one taking
out of try. You're doing all these masculine things because femininity,
down to one word, is receiving. That's one word. It's receiving.
(12:37):
It's about receiving. And so when you're in your masculine
for so long in a marriage or in a relationship,
sometimes you lose that. So you have to constantly check
in with yourself. And also, by the way, for the
man's side too. You know, the man needs to stain
his masculine because we as femine, most of us are
not looking for a feminine man, you know, we want
(12:57):
we want to protect and provide her. So it goes
both ways.
Speaker 2 (13:01):
Tell you, I'm kind of blown away because I understand
everything you're saying.
Speaker 1 (13:05):
Oh I love, but you're a blown away that she's
saying it.
Speaker 2 (13:07):
I am. So that's where I'm That's where I'm going next.
I'm blown away that you're saying it. Do you get
a lot of pushback? A lot of people who take
offense to what you're saying about these stereotypical gender roles.
Speaker 3 (13:19):
No, because people are starting to finally say, wait a minute,
like Bob switch, this is why my relationship is not
working out, or this is why I'm not thriving and dating.
And the second they do that little sweage, they're sending
me dms. I don't even know these people, and they're like, Talia,
what you just said in that real change my entire
dating life. What you wrote in that book, change my
entire dating life. So I've had no pushback so far. Really,
(13:40):
really you?
Speaker 2 (13:40):
So that's fascinating to me, And that's interesting. And you're
saying the proof is in the pudding, The proof is
in the pudding.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
I am no, there is nothing, because conversations happen like
this all the time at dinner tables and in living
rooms and whatnot. But how dare you say? Sometimes is
you know what, even obvious to a lot of people.
So I am surprised again you've been doing it. So
I was surprised that you haven't gotten pushback with somebody
taking offense, because anytime, it seems these days, anyone gets
(14:13):
a little offended about gender roles or where this person
should be in the home and this person should be
a protector what'd you say, the feminine is receiving is receiving.
I've never heard that before either.
Speaker 3 (14:25):
Am I. I cover the entire chapter in the book
about femine energy.
Speaker 1 (14:39):
So let's stick with feminine energy here for a second.
Does feminine energy how does it translate in the workplace?
Or can it translate in a positive way in the workplace?
Speaker 3 (14:50):
Of course? I mean it depends on your job, you know.
If I for what I do, I have to be
my maskline for sure. Now, a nurse who's nurturing and
loving and helping assisting elderlies, she needs to be in
her feminine. I think she's thriving in her feminine doesn't
have to be, but I'm sure that that's helpful to her.
So I think it just depends on your job. But
(15:11):
I definitely think if you're a CEO of Fortune five
hundred company running in there with all the feminine you've got,
I would say probably not the best approach.
Speaker 2 (15:20):
You know.
Speaker 3 (15:21):
But when it comes to dating, remember, guys, I'm a matchmaker,
I'm a dating coach. So when it comes to love,
it's so simple. Men love feminine energy and women love
a masculine man. And let's not forget. It's also give
and take when you're in a relationship. There are moments
when a man needs to be emotional and say how
he really feels, and he can be in his feminine
(15:42):
energy in that moment, and she can be in her
mask and say I understand and just you know, hold space.
So it's also a dance to have a good harmonious relationship.
Speaker 2 (15:52):
Is there?
Speaker 1 (15:52):
Ever? What do you say about a man who can't
handle a woman in her her mass, galiant energy who
is in charge. Some would say that says more about
the man than it does about the woman who can't deal.
Speaker 3 (16:08):
So you're asking, what if the man can't handle the.
Speaker 1 (16:11):
Mask energy of the woman. I mean that shouldn't that
be on him? She shouldn't have to change or alter
anything what Some would argue that, hey, that's that's on him.
Why can't he deal with a strong woman?
Speaker 2 (16:23):
You know?
Speaker 3 (16:23):
I personal preference is personal preference. I can't you know?
Speaker 2 (16:27):
You like what you like?
Speaker 3 (16:28):
So, I mean I deal with preferences all day long
with matchmaking. People give me their exact preferences of what
they like, what they don't like. I've had clients say
I want the buss, babe, I have a clients say
I want super feminine energy on the extreme. So it
just depends on your preferences. And it's also about knowing
that a boy yourself and being self aware.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
And I'm sorry, let me make sure go back a
little bit here. The book here is directed at women
how to attract the right guy. But your expertise, your
background and your history and your work is in helping
men come to you and they then say, this is
what I'm looking for, and you may matches, So explain
that a little bit. We didn't do that at the
very top.
Speaker 3 (17:03):
Well, okay, So with matchmaking, I actually just launched on Monday.
I now accept female clients. Oh okay, yes, yes, Well
the world's changing now for the first time, men are
okay with women hiring a matchmaker. She already has a chef,
she already has a driver. Why not a matchmaker? Men
have it too, So for the first time, times are changing.
(17:24):
We love that and now men are having matchmakers sore women.
So I now work with both.
Speaker 2 (17:29):
Okay, So how does the process work? They come to
you and do you have a rolodex that's old school,
a rolodex of men, a rolodex of women. How do
you match make?
Speaker 3 (17:37):
I just have a huge network, so I have a
CRM system with singles, and how it works is the
first step is I decide if I want to take
on the client. The first step is get to know
your client, see if it's a good fit to work together,
and then if it is a good fit, get to
know their preferences and then set them up with some incredible.
Speaker 1 (17:54):
Do You always have to meet certainly the client, but
the potential match you have to meet them ahead of time.
Speaker 3 (18:01):
Okay, this is a very expensive service. This is an investment,
So it would be a disservice to my line if
I didn't take the time to meet them, background check everything.
And you know what, people always ask me, what is
this secret sauce to matchmaking? And I always say, it's intuition.
It's a gut feeling. It's like a knowing. It's like
I just know.
Speaker 2 (18:21):
These two people are going to hit it all well,
So I mean, is it about what they both like,
how they both operate? Like what is the what is
the thing where you say they're going to be good.
Speaker 3 (18:30):
It's a gut feeling, an intuition.
Speaker 1 (18:33):
That's just an expensive process. I'm paying for your expensiveness.
Speaker 2 (18:38):
It would be allergic to dogs. And it's not hard Republican.
We're not studying up with a democrat. Okay, but I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (18:44):
That there is intuition that plays a huge role in matchmaking.
Speaker 2 (18:49):
So when you meet a woman, how do you like,
I don't know how many people you're meeting men women
when you immediately go they'd be great together. How does
that work?
Speaker 3 (18:57):
I can't explain how my brain works, but it is
such a knack. I mean I help people get jobs
all the time. I'm just a connector. Like I'll meet
someone and I'm like, oh, you know what you need
to meet Bob. Bob is also looking to high bubh
blah blah blah or he whatever. That's just how my
brain works. So it's really intuition. Do you have a
success rate to back up? Okay, yeah, I choose my clients.
Speaker 2 (19:19):
One hundred percent.
Speaker 3 (19:20):
Yes, success rate. Yes, I do not take clients. I
know I can't help sus So are we not talking
about the book today? I'm like, got so much for you.
Speaker 2 (19:32):
We're talking about it at all? I mean, your success
rate as a matchmaker certainly affects the book, for sure.
Speaker 3 (19:40):
No, I don't not at all, because the book is
for women that don't want to do matchmaking and they
want to learn how to track the right guy on
their own. So different. So in the book, I cover
in chapter three how to drop the modern day handkerchief,
which means you were out in public and you are
choosing sing who you want to speak to, like which
(20:01):
guy in the bar? Or which guy you want to
talk to?
Speaker 2 (20:03):
You? All right, what's the modern day handkerchief? Oh? You
like this? This is good?
Speaker 3 (20:09):
Okay? So you know back in Victorian era women chose men.
We would drop our handkerchief and the guy would pick
it up and say you drop this and say, oh
did I you know? And so and times haven't changed.
I always in the book I talk about the G
E s E. The grin. The eye is a seductive
energy and it works every time. Basically, what you're doing
(20:33):
is if you see a guy and you're attracted to
him and energetically you want to speak with him, you
give him the G E s C. You drop the handkerchief,
and it works every time.
Speaker 1 (20:43):
Go go through them.
Speaker 3 (20:44):
The g is what the G E s the grin.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
Grin Okay, so the grin, it's just a matter of
a little smile. You just make eye contacting you grin now.
Speaker 3 (20:52):
Overly aggress of a grin.
Speaker 1 (20:53):
You know, just a little grin. All right? Then how
long is the eye contact on that on you feel.
Speaker 3 (20:58):
It, you feel if you'll feel it. Could be three seconds,
could be five. And then the E so grin eyes.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
The eyes are there?
Speaker 3 (21:06):
Okay, so the s seductive?
Speaker 1 (21:08):
Okay, now my needs to help all this one. She
immediately started laughing. She was doing well with the eye contacts.
And then we go into goofy town. Oh I can't
do Okay, what's the seductive?
Speaker 3 (21:20):
Seductive?
Speaker 2 (21:21):
You know?
Speaker 3 (21:21):
You just energy transfers, right, you can tell when someone's
warm or when like seductive energy. It's magnetic and you
just send that like three air energy over there and
then get it. Men get it every time.
Speaker 1 (21:33):
And the the last E was what so grin.
Speaker 3 (21:36):
Eyes seductive energy?
Speaker 1 (21:38):
Energy?
Speaker 2 (21:39):
Yeah, so can you could you read my energy?
Speaker 3 (21:41):
Oh wait, and here's the best part. What there's a
study that says men take up to five times to
realize that it was for them.
Speaker 2 (21:50):
So he's the guy behind him.
Speaker 3 (21:52):
Yes, they'll think it's the guy behind them. And I
share one of the stories in the book about how
the guy was giving it to you, Like the gees
literally pointed to guy and I was like him and
I was like, no you and he was like oh
and then he like walked over to me. He was like, hi, am,
I introduced himself. So it takes me up to five times. So, ladies,
if you didn't catch it the first g s, do
it four more times.
Speaker 2 (22:13):
Wow?
Speaker 1 (22:15):
Wow, that's not you. Are we just talking about this?
That is not going to be you tell me there are?
There are? You have ten commandments? Do the Ten Commandments
of Dating?
Speaker 2 (22:30):
How?
Speaker 1 (22:31):
I don't know if we can go through all ten?
But can you give give me a couple of keys
in there? The ten Commandments of dating? And for anyone
single looking today who's on apps and all that? Right now,
what do you think a couple of the key ones
you would want everybody to have?
Speaker 3 (22:46):
I think the biggest one, the two biggest one that
come to mind is over sharing and over drinking.
Speaker 1 (22:51):
Over sharing and over drinking.
Speaker 3 (22:52):
Okay, and I'll tell you why. So in New York,
as we all know as New Yorkers, the drinking culture
is huge here. The problem with that is there's a
such thing as drunk chemistry versus real chemistry. So if
you want to really figure out on a first date,
is it the alcohol speaking or do we actually have
really good chemistry? I say keep it to one drink
max two maybe forgut, like I don't know, two if
(23:15):
you really just can hold your liquor. But I say, like,
really figure out. Do you guys get along? You know?
And also, no one likes a drunk date.
Speaker 2 (23:22):
Yeah. I was always told they're a ten at two
and a two at ten. That's a problem. Or you know,
bear goggles. We've all heard those curls. Yeah, beer goggles. Whatever?
Speaker 1 (23:33):
Did I mention how much I love her?
Speaker 2 (23:40):
In college I learned like, don't worry, you gotta watch out.
They're a ten at two and a two to ten.
Oh yeah, is that wrong?
Speaker 3 (23:48):
No, it's just it proves the point though. You don't
want to over consume on a d.
Speaker 2 (23:54):
No, absolutely not. No, I totally hear you. Any other
ten commandments?
Speaker 3 (23:58):
The other one was the overshare over share. I gues, yes,
men and women do this. They get when the nerves
kick in. Sometimes you get word vomit and you just overshare. Overshare,
just sharing too much sensitive information with a stranger that
you know, maybe you met him on hinge, maybe you
met him through a friend. It's so important to just
reel it in. Remember high level first dates. It's like
(24:20):
high level just see if there's banters, see if you
guys connect on a couple of things, but not oversharing
about your you know, your last divorce, oversharing about how
you need about us, yes, or about oversharing about you
know what your mom did to you last Sunday. Like
we this person is brand new. We just have to
remember that.
Speaker 2 (24:38):
Yeah, that's definitely good advice for women. I understand. I
am a I am a chronic oversharer, so I will
fully cop to that.
Speaker 1 (24:45):
Unfortunately, I would almost break up with you just so
I could see your next first date with Oh my god,
that is how much you share. It would be a
great social experiment.
Speaker 2 (25:00):
And then he said, no, all right, I loved you
have a visceral reaction to love languages because people put
so much stock, play so much stock in love languages.
You have strong feelings about this.
Speaker 3 (25:16):
Yes, So here's the funny thing. According to studies, you're
most likely not going to end up with someone who
has the exact same love love language as you. However,
it doesn't mean that you can't learn them and then
shift where you put your energy. So, for example, if
your husband is words of affirmation and for you it's
(25:38):
access service. As long as you guys have communicated like hey,
every time you do this and this, it doesn't mean
that much to me because that's not how I receive love.
I need to hear it from you first, or I
need you know, access service. That's how I receive love.
And by the way, fun fact, it's all childhood. However,
your parents showed an expressed love is how you interpret
(25:59):
love with your part So if you had a parent
that never said I love you, but they bought you
gifts all the time, that's all you know to receive love.
Speaker 1 (26:07):
So it's just.
Speaker 3 (26:08):
Something to have a conversation with your partner so that
you're not constantly trying to do all these things. And
it's not even taking into account.
Speaker 1 (26:15):
You know, you mentioned earlier what men want. They want
feminine energy, but in the clients you've dealt with, it
was again you're starting to say female clients now, but
your initial matchmaking was all men. So in what you've
learned from men about what men want from women, and
in a mate. You said feminine energy, But what are
(26:37):
those things?
Speaker 2 (26:39):
You know?
Speaker 3 (26:39):
That's too hard to speak too because every guy is
so different and everyone is so complex, everyone's preferences are different,
So it's it just depends on the person. I've never
had the same type of type. I've actually never had
the same type of client twice.
Speaker 2 (26:56):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (26:56):
Is that you wouldn't say there are any things universally
that men want in this Universally?
Speaker 3 (27:00):
I would say being in your feminine when you're at home.
Sure that could be universal.
Speaker 2 (27:06):
Okay, wow, And I don't think a lot of women
think of that, all right. They're trying to be all
kinds of things. Yeah, to so many people. So it's interesting.
And it's not about being something you're not right, it's
about tapping into a part of you that's truly there.
And I think that's the distinguishment between like pretending or
posturing or manipulating, but you're actually being honest and authentic
(27:27):
with the side of yourself that maybe you've been afraid
to express or told it would be weak to express.
I mean, I think women are dealing with a lot
of different narratives and operatives about what they should be
or how they can be the best version of themselves.
And it's confusing, especially when we think that maybe going
back to gender norms or stereotypical norms is something to
be frowned upon. And I do think that that is
(27:48):
part of where we are today in society.
Speaker 3 (27:50):
But I also think, like coming back to who you are,
like before you got that big, you know, c sweet
executive job. How about coming back to that person you
were before you became a founder of a company? Like
who was that in her child? Was she a feminine woman?
Well she deserves to be that today and in the relationship.
Speaker 1 (28:07):
Well that is no. I love it because so many
of the conversations we have it because I was about
to ask you that the idea that tapping in you
said feminine, and it always in some way gets translated
into weaker, and it shouldn't be. There's it's okay for
there to be a masculine and a feminine. Would you say,
(28:29):
without one being stronger or weaker?
Speaker 3 (28:31):
That's right. Actually, all the power is in the feminine energy.
It's so magnetic. When a woman is truly in your
feminine energy, it is magnetic, and so many things will
happen for you because you're you're in that like abundance receiving.
You're just in that receiving mode of like letting it
happen instead of forcing everything and doing doing doing.
Speaker 2 (28:52):
That's and I'm laughing because I'm hearing you and I'm
understanding that a little bit more now than I ever
have before in my life. But I was always on
the other side of things always.
Speaker 3 (29:03):
Just so you know, I'm right there with you.
Speaker 2 (29:04):
So I'm listening to it. I'm like laughing because for
the first time, I'm open to that part of me
that I haven't been before, like I've always been like, No,
I'm the doer, I'm the getter, I'm the maker, I'm
the creator, I'm the breadwinner, I'm the and so it's
interesting about accepting and not just accepting, but embracing the
other side of yourself in the right relationship, in the
(29:26):
right relationship of you.
Speaker 1 (29:27):
Yes, a part of the title of your book is
avoid situationships, step into wifey energy and get him to commit.
Speaker 3 (29:44):
Wait, can we talk about avoiding situationships?
Speaker 2 (29:47):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (29:47):
If I hear that word one more time on my
coaching clients, because remember, I have a coaching business, but
I also have a matchmaking business. And my coaching clients,
they date all on their own. But I keep hearing
that word to find it, I'm like, hold on here.
Why situationship is when one of the two people as
are dating one persons ready to commit and the other
one's not, and it just gets dragged out and it
(30:10):
never turns into something that is a situationship. And I
am here to say, and you'll read in the book,
do not do wifey duties or girlfriend duties if you
do not have the title. For all the women out
there listening to this podcast, if you are cooking for
this man, or you're taking out his dog, or you're
doing his laundry and you do not have the girlfriend title,
(30:31):
you are doing yourself a disservice.
Speaker 2 (30:34):
Yep, why are you laughing?
Speaker 1 (30:36):
Charge? Because I take care of your dog, I.
Speaker 2 (30:39):
Do your laundry now, and I cook for you, not
take care of my dog. The other two maybe fine,
the laundry and the cooking, yes, but you do not
take care of my dog.
Speaker 1 (30:50):
If I walk in the house right now, who's the
dog going to come through?
Speaker 2 (30:53):
He loves you because you feed him food off the
side and anyway, that's why.
Speaker 1 (31:00):
But a situationship, how you avoided by what.
Speaker 3 (31:04):
By the way, though, that's when, like, the situationship is
when the people one of the two people is seeing
other people like there's not a commitment. That's what I'm saying.
It's a situationship, not a relationship because there's no commitment.
Speaker 2 (31:17):
It's called We used to call it, like, you know,
booty calls. Yes, that's basically what it is.
Speaker 3 (31:21):
It's basically booty calls.
Speaker 1 (31:23):
Why do we get away from that language?
Speaker 2 (31:24):
It was working just fine and it was what it is. Okay,
that's it tries to somehow elevate a booty call.
Speaker 3 (31:31):
Yes, okay, I was more sophisticated way to say booty call.
What happened to booty call?
Speaker 2 (31:35):
Yeah, that's what it is. Wait, wait, we've got we've
got here.
Speaker 1 (31:42):
Who had know more than what's a sneaky link?
Speaker 2 (31:47):
Moder sneaky link? That's one step below a situationship. I
guess I don't know in the hierarchy of I don't
know ships.
Speaker 1 (31:55):
I thought we were talking about your dating and one
wants to getting you've get married and doesn't. No, no,
it's not even that okay.
Speaker 3 (32:04):
No, no, no, no, we're not even there.
Speaker 2 (32:05):
It's not that deep. You said it perfectly. That's exactly
what my twenty one year old would say. It's not
that deep, mom, that's not that deep.
Speaker 1 (32:11):
Tell you, how do you get the other part of
the title, get him to commit? That's heavy? How do
you do this?
Speaker 3 (32:17):
That is it's a lot. It's not just one thing.
You kind of have to read the book.
Speaker 1 (32:21):
Okay, that's okay, but give us some give us some
cliff notes here. How do you get him to commit?
Is that even possible?
Speaker 3 (32:27):
Of course if by getting him to commitment, first off,
you're showing up in your wife the energy. That's the
first thing. Showing up in wifey energy. That's how I
have seen guys who I never thought would commit, but
they met the right girl at the right time, and
she was in her wifey era.
Speaker 2 (32:45):
What's wifey energy? Can you tell me what that is?
Speaker 3 (32:47):
You have to read the book. I mean wifey energy.
It's so many different things. It's it's a lot. It's
like you really have your you have your life together.
You're showing up in you know, you're dressing differently. You know,
like there are times when you're going out with your
girlfriends and you look like a ho chi mama and
I'm like, you're not in your white fie air right now,
(33:07):
like you're just going on having fun and you're not
you know, he he's meeting you, and he's not thinking, Oh,
this is the girl I'm going to take home with
my parents.
Speaker 2 (33:13):
So it's almost like you're you know, you've got a
job interview. You know you want that job, and you're
dressed the part, and you present yourself in the best
way possible, but you definitely don't want to, like I
worry about what happens when he sees it all, you know,
like to hide you're crazy, or to hide some of
the other parts of you that aren't as attractive or
(33:35):
wifey or however you want to call it feminine. At
what point is it okay to show those things, because
eventually they're going to come out right you want them
to know. I would think at some point earlier rather
than later, perhaps that all of this is you, not
just the best version of you.
Speaker 3 (33:51):
Well, let me ask you this, for whoever you were
speaking about, is that person working on their shadow side,
because that's that's another part of it where it's like,
if you're not working on that crazy side of you,
like if you're not doing the therapy, the shadow work,
you're not healing those parts of you. Because anytime someone
gets really triggered and annoyed and they get they start
(34:11):
yelling all these things, all the not so good parts
are called the shadow side. And I think that it's
really important to definitely share that with that person because
because that it's just way too much work to always
be on your A game and.
Speaker 2 (34:22):
Like it's impossible.
Speaker 3 (34:24):
Yeah, someone, of course you show them that side. But
I wouldn't do that on a first.
Speaker 2 (34:29):
Date, you know. And by the way, also if you
say this, forget it. No, I get that. I don't
get it, Like, you know, don't tell me to calm down.
Triggered shadows.
Speaker 1 (34:41):
Ye, but you were going you had a story about it.
You said there was somebody you saw wasn't going to commit,
but you were back to how to get a guy
to commit.
Speaker 3 (34:49):
Oh, and I was just saying that, you know, eligible, bachelor,
super good looking, successful, all the things. I never thought
he'd settle down. And he met that right girl and
it was just the right time, the right energy, and
she had done she healed herself and she was like
in that feminine era and they just ended up together
and so I do think that plays into it too.
(35:10):
So you, yeah, you can get meant to commit.
Speaker 1 (35:14):
Right, No, the right woman, it's always I'm always struggling
with that, the right woman, the right man, and then
there's the right time, and so how does one know?
And a lot of your vice is obviously for people
who are single, but for people who are out there
who are married or in relationships right now, what is
(35:36):
in the book that could help them maybe evaluate or
reevaluate or you're making a face like it's not for them,
We're not going down the road. That's fine, I'll come out.
Speaker 3 (35:46):
So I'm writing five books. The fifth one will be
for the married couples, but we're not there yet.
Speaker 2 (35:51):
This is book number one, and Tell You is really
for those.
Speaker 3 (35:54):
Singles who are struggling, because loneliness is a huge problem
right now. People have never been more lonely. People have
given up on dating at Fatigue is real. And so
this book is something that I was so excited to
share with the world. And it's digestible, it's sure. It's
a thirty minute read and each chapter has an exercise,
so you digest it and then there's a little exercise
(36:14):
and you get to journal in the book, and I
think it's a gift of the world to help the
singles out there right now.
Speaker 2 (36:20):
And tell you tell me a economics major so irrelevant? Yeah, no,
I'm no, And I'm so, how did you get into
this business?
Speaker 3 (36:29):
Oh my gosh. I was matchmaking everyone in high school, college,
you know, post college, and then I just you know,
I got into finance and whatever, and I was like,
this isn't my calling. And my last name is we Met.
I was like, I meant to be a matchmaker we Met,
So yeah, So I ended up I worked for the
largest matchmaking agency in Atlanta and loved it. And then
(36:51):
that's when I said to myself, hold on, I could
do this at a different level, and I could do
it better. I'm gonna own that. So I'm moved to
New York. I booked a one way ticket, was like
couch serving on my best friend's couch for a couple
of weeks building this company. And I said, okay, we're
going to launch on Valentine's Day, and sure enough, it
went viral and everyone's like, oh my god, you know,
Talia wee Met's got our own company now, and like
(37:13):
it took off and I've had it now for half
a decade.
Speaker 2 (37:16):
Oh that's incredible. And do you have your forever person?
Speaker 3 (37:22):
I have someone in my life. Yes, is he my
forever TVD Oh my.
Speaker 1 (37:27):
Goodness, Grace, we'll see. We don't know if he's mister Wright.
Speaker 3 (37:30):
We're so new, We're so new. Okay, I'm following my
own rules. You know, you really have to make sure
and take your time. How new we're like a month deep?
Speaker 2 (37:38):
Oh wow? And how does he feel about dating someone
who is maybe analyzing him all the time.
Speaker 3 (37:44):
Oh no, that's the best part of him. He is
so confident, he is so in his masculine that he
allows me to be in my feminine. Wow, I don't
talk about work stuff. I get to finally be fully
in my feminine. And actually, I think this relationship happened
for a reason. It's going to be in my next book.
Speaker 2 (38:03):
I love it.
Speaker 1 (38:04):
At the next book because we're now we are looking
for another relationship to publicly scrutinize. So so everybody followed
Talia and her one month and guy, can I ask,
there's so much.
Speaker 3 (38:20):
Relationship for two years?
Speaker 2 (38:22):
Oh yeah, that's cool, that's right. Cool. We like that.
Speaker 1 (38:26):
And I don't want to point to anyone in particular,
can you And I don't run the room, but in
news lately, do you ever look at celebrity couples or
things that are being followed in the media and you
have a sense of they are they are a good
match or not a good match? These are people you
do not know. But is there any feeling or guide
(38:48):
in what you're able to see from a distance about couple? Really?
Speaker 3 (38:51):
I mean, I just got down with Access Hollywood. We
were talking about matches celebrity couples, and I'll tell you
there's a couple of celebrity couples that I just love
an adore. I don't personally know them. I might be
one degree separation from them, but I know in my
heart they're a good fit for each other. And they
just have so much value alignment. Their foundation is so
solid because they see the world the same way, they
(39:13):
were raised a very similar light, and I think they'll
make it. And there's some couples where I'm like, oof,
god bless you know they'll figure it out eventually, But
it's not.
Speaker 2 (39:22):
You're talking about. But I could.
Speaker 3 (39:31):
I could absolutely, It's a hunch. It's like an intuitive knowing.
Speaker 1 (39:34):
Yeah, I only have one last question, and this was
for every I'm asking on behalf of women is there?
How do they know he's mister wrong?
Speaker 3 (39:46):
Ooh, I love this question. Okay, how do you know
if it's mister wrong? Your entire and you know what
this is for men and women, this is both. This
is for anyone who's listening, who's single. You will know
because your nervous system, your gut feeling will tell you,
like your anxiety will start to get cranked up. You'll
start to feel stressed around that person. When when you
(40:08):
are with the right person, it will feel like home.
You will feel peace, you will feel serenity, and when
you're with the wrong person, you will have just this
like your I call it the nervous system test. Your
nervous system will just be off. And so it's about
being very self aware because your body will always tell
you if.
Speaker 2 (40:27):
It's mister right, and apparently if it's mister wrong. And apparently.
Speaker 1 (40:34):
Your experience what.
Speaker 2 (40:38):
I mean, it depends on the day. Sometimes how's your
good today feelings on a minute, I mean, and like
to that point though it changes, I mean, you can
still be in a loving relationship and have moments of
oh my god, what have I done. I mean that's
the part of any relationship.
Speaker 3 (40:52):
Of course, you have your highs and your lows, and
every marriage nothing's perfect. But I'm saying, especially in those
early phases, when something feels off, listen to that.
Speaker 2 (41:01):
In the early phases, yes, because later on, there's always
going to be something that's off in any given day
because we've we've been through the trenches. But I get
it now. In the beginning, it should be butterflies and
unicorns and rainbows, like there's enough that's gonna come later.
Speaker 3 (41:16):
It should just feel warm and safe. It shouldn't feel
like that firecracker love. No, those burned fast Yes, you
want the like at home fireplace feeling.
Speaker 2 (41:30):
Like who do you want a Netflix and chill with?
Speaker 1 (41:31):
Oh my god.
Speaker 3 (41:32):
I wouldn't go that far, but I would say, like
like Iday, just wow, I shouldn't chill Like okay, you
can Neflix and chill with someone who still have that
firecracker energy with It's just like a gut feeling. It's
annoying where you just feel so safe with that person.
Speaker 2 (41:46):
Yeah, safety you.
Speaker 1 (41:48):
Really need, like not relationship advice, but like dating advice.
You're asking No, you're looking.
Speaker 2 (41:55):
For someone, No, I'm thinking about all the friends in
my life too. All right, tell you we met. Thank
you so much for being with us. This has been
super fun. Congratulations on the book and the second book,
and the third book, and four and the one.
Speaker 1 (42:07):
Right, what's the schedule in all the books? How soon
you can we expect them?
Speaker 3 (42:11):
Probably went a year the year.
Speaker 1 (42:12):
I'll be dang, well, CONGRATU. Really this is cool to
be and this is fun stuff for us. But there's
we hope everybody can take a nugget or two out
of it, no matter what. But the book is on
sale everywhere Amazon. You can find it there. Again, it's
how to attract the right guy. Tell you we met.
It's a fantastic thing, it really is. Do you want
me to tell you about the shirt?
Speaker 2 (42:31):
Because you oh, yes, you know what. That's a good
way to end it. Mister right now. You haven't worn
it again?
Speaker 1 (42:38):
Wow, everybody's perks.
Speaker 2 (42:40):
I mean, you know you used to come into the
studio with it.
Speaker 1 (42:43):
I was like, well, hello, well it's okay. I do
own a T shirt that says mister right now on it.
Let me explain. I went out to LA and the
hell with it now. I interviewed at entertainment tonight right
I went out there and I was just supposed to
go interview and then fly right back. The same day,
(43:05):
I went out in my suit and interviewed and did
an on camera test and then went back to the airport.
They called me as I'm bored. The flight is boarding,
and they called and say TJ. It went so, well,
can you come back and we want you to record
for a show that's actually going to air tomorrow. But
(43:26):
I wasn't prepared. I didn't have clothes supposed to be
in and out, so they send me to a hotel.
I don't get there until ten to eleven at night.
The only store opened. I don't have clothes. The only
store open at that time was Hustler. So I go
in the Hustler at about midnight. I have never heard
(43:49):
this story before.
Speaker 2 (43:50):
I was with EPIC.
Speaker 1 (43:52):
I'm not sure if I was with CNN at the time.
Who was I with it that, I don't know, maybe
even ABC, I don't know. But I go and I
go into the store and I promise you the kindest
T shirt in there was the one that said mister
right now. So I had to buy that shirt. And
the next day I went into the Entertainment Tonight offices
(44:13):
in the morning meeting with the shirt on that said,
mister right now, and I just haven't been able to
throw the shirt away. But but we're photographed by Papa
Rozzi too much. I cannot wear it.
Speaker 2 (44:24):
I'm never so it's funny, I said, you come into
the studio with it. But ever since we've been together,
thank god, you've never worn it. A smart man, smart.
Speaker 1 (44:32):
Man, tell you should I toss that shirt?
Speaker 3 (44:35):
Absolutely?
Speaker 2 (44:37):
Yeah? He should. He should never wear that ever again.
Thank you, Tellia, thank you much.
Speaker 1 (44:44):
You know where to find us. We're on Instagram, Amy
and DJ podcast. We'll see it.
Hosts And Creators
Amy Robach
T.J. Holmes
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