October 3, 2024 • 42 mins
Things get juicy as our hosts admit to getting ghosted, sliding into DM’s and Kelly reveals she wants to be married again in 2025.
Then, it gets emotional when Kelly realizes during the podcast that maybe she isn’t really over her breakup after all.
Ready to find love again?
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
Welcome back to I Do Part two, the podcast that's
all about finding love again and where some of your
hosts Amy here along with TJ and Janna, And this
is part two of our conversation with Kelly ben Simone
from the Real Housewives of New York and Ultimate Girls Trip.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Do you think girls should go out to meet guys
in groups like the Ultimate Girls Trip?
Speaker 3 (00:35):
You know when that Ultimate Girls Trip, They're always like,
introduce me, to introduce me, introduce me. So I'm constantly
introducing them to everybody, and then they don't like the
guys and I'm just like, I didn't say, like you
asked me to introduce you. I'm like, Hi, this is
the way, mister Rinda.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
Right, Like TJ, would you rather meet someone in a group.
I mean, obviously you're in a lovely relationship, but with
you were single, would you want to meet in a
group or in a one on one setday?
Speaker 4 (00:57):
No, I'm always been it's more one on one orthetic. Yeah, like,
just meet people. I don't like being set up. I
don't like, well, she'll be there and we'll go with
our group.
Speaker 3 (01:06):
No.
Speaker 4 (01:07):
Just in day to day life, you just meet people
and it's sot to hear about dating apps, and I
hear that now, and that just blows my mind to
where they're I couldn't imagine doing that. I'm from I'm
forty seven now, so I grew up in an era
where that wasn't necessarily the case, the dating online. But
I just I guess you hear me talking about it.
A prenup is not romantic to me or you hear
(01:27):
I just just old fashioned in that way. So I
just organically think, why can't people just meet people? We
see people all the time, but we don't give people
that we see on the train or at a restaurant
or down we're looking at our phone when the level
of your life might be at the end of the ball, right,
you don't even look down there. That is my mindset
on it.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
Yeah, one Rya is so superficial too. I mean there's
so many beautiful people, especially on those apps, and Rya
specifically where it's just supermodel after supermodel and there and
the ones in Portugal or Istanbul or like.
Speaker 3 (01:59):
I was saying everything, I don't even take photos like that.
These guys are like so they're like doing backflips off
of like mountains and like these exotic places I'm like,
what is happening here? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (02:09):
It just looks really pretty, and I feel like that's
where it's like, oh they can get somebody better with
a swipe of a finger, right.
Speaker 1 (02:15):
Wow, You're always being compared to someone's adventure or their
photoshop this or that. That's crazy. How much more difficult
is it to date in your I mean you've been
single for a long time. Have you found it to
be more difficult the older you get?
Speaker 2 (02:29):
What?
Speaker 1 (02:29):
Like, do you feel like what you have to choose
from gets as a smaller pool? What's that been like?
Speaker 3 (02:37):
So you know, I feel like, you know, I've been single.
I mean I've been single for a while since I
got divorced in two thousand and seven, So I've been
single since like two thousand and six. And you know,
I think that there was you know, I met a
lot of different people, but it was like, really more
about my mindset and that's another kind of advice. So
we talked about bandwidth, but also like the mindset, so
(03:00):
you know, kind of really being open to dating. I
was so worried about my children, about raising them from Rockford, Illinois,
like I'm living in New York City, like with all
these like you know things, and I'm just like, how
am I going to raise my kids? And with a
suburban mindset in an urban environment, that was like what
I was constantly thinking about. I wasn't thinking about like, hey,
(03:24):
that guy's hot, you know. And then I went on
housewives and housewives really even though I was on the
cover Playboy and I had all these you know, beautiful
accolades and everything was really exciting. You know, fighting with
a woman on a television show really made a lot
of guys being like what's the tea here? Like what
is going on? I'm like, by the way, I get
(03:45):
paid a lot of money to argue with females and
like that's not my thing, but you know a lot
of guys are kind of like what is going on here? Like,
you know, why would someone want to marry someone who's
known for arguing with women? Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 4 (03:59):
Like, wow, chances in the day about that?
Speaker 3 (04:05):
No, because it was just I mean, it was such
a huge opportunity. I mean, I wrote, you know, I
wrote two books before, three books before that, and then
four books after two novels, Like a lot of different
opportunities that came my way that would never. I Mean,
one of the reasons that I'm so successful in real
estate is because I know so many people, and when
people see things I'm doing, they're like, oh, that's good
(04:25):
because it's her. So, I mean, it's been such an
amazing opportunity, but it was very, very difficult for me personally.
Speaker 1 (04:33):
Kelly, we just watched back the Scary Island episode today
actually before, just to be reacquainted with that.
Speaker 3 (04:40):
Have you watched it? Rewatched it?
Speaker 1 (04:42):
Like, do you look back and think I shouldn't have
done this, I shouldn't have said this, or you do
you own and and stay true to everything that we
saw on that episode.
Speaker 3 (04:51):
So I before I was on Housewives, I had this
amazing acting coach name is Anthony Abson, and he said
to me, he's like, if you're to go on this show,
He's like, you need to be one hundred percent authentic
because if you're going to go on the show, you
can't be something else because later on in life, whatever's
going to happen, You're going to have to acknowledge all
(05:14):
these things. And so I was literally one hundred percent
authentic and I'm I'm dealing with it would be like
being in a scene with someone where you're like, you're
true and the other person is like looking away or
like waiting for their moment for them to like have
so their kind of narrative play out. And so I
was like, wait, I'm sorry, what's happening right now? Which
(05:34):
scene are we in? Because I missed that. I thought
we were talking about X or whatever. And so, you know,
a lot of you know, not a lot one woman
just in particular, she was just like, I will do
this and this is how I'm going to do it,
and whatever is in my way, I am going to
get rid of it. And I just happened to be
that person you were in the way. Yeah, I was
(05:56):
in the way. But what was the good news too?
Is that I was in the way, But you know
it also made me, you know, very successful, So you know,
it's bittersweet, but I mean, I'm proud of like who
I am. And you know, I don't like it when
people say like I was edited poorly, because don't go
on reality TV if you're going to talk about being edited.
(06:17):
Do you know what I mean? This isn't like ABC,
This isn't you know, a podcast. This is a television
show that you know needs to fit a certain amount
of time, and it's seven storylines, one big storyline. You know,
it has there's things that has to have to happen.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
Would you go back on if they asked you to come?
Speaker 3 (06:33):
Well, I did The Ultimate Girls trub I just finished.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
But the New York Ones, I know they're going to
reboot my characters.
Speaker 3 (06:39):
Well. See I know Jenna really well from j Crew
and Uba and I know each other really well. I
don't know the other ladies, but I just, I mean
I think that yeah, I definitely. I mean, of course,
like I was one million dollars listening. I had so
much fun. Like I love reality TV because I'm just myself,
Like I don't I'm not unapologetically myself, and I think
that it's like sometimes endearing and sometimes.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
Amy's like laughing, She's like, oh my god, No, I
love it though. I mean, I think no matter what,
we and we meet a lot of people who we
all think we have a certain idea of whether they're
actors or reality TV shows, and when you actually get
to meet them, you know right away when someone is
exactly who they are. They're not putting on airs, they're
not performing, and you are that you are authentic, you
(07:24):
are unapologetically you, which I and I think a lot
of people are always appreciative of because you what you
see is what you get, yah, and that to me
is mostly all you can ask for in a relationship. Right.
Everything else is it's just it's false and it's impossible
to navigate.
Speaker 3 (07:41):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
No, I was just gonna say it's hard because I
don't I don't religiously watch the Housewives shows. I just
kind of, you know, follow certain people on Instagram, which
is you know how Bethany slash Brittany or whatever. How
When I look at but it's like, so I only
know because like to me, I'm like, oh, she's authentically her,
you know. And so I'm like, is that like? I guess,
you know, because then I look at you, I'm like,
(08:02):
you're beautiful, You're authentically you. So I'm like to me,
I'm like, oh, I think you guys would be best friends,
you know, because like two authentic, beautiful women. But I
guess you know.
Speaker 3 (08:10):
But different people have like different pathways to success, right
Mine is to celebrate people and hers is to tear
them down. So it's just just different. It's not good
or bad, it's just totally different.
Speaker 4 (08:24):
Is there no chance here? Are you open to you
all having a I don't know, you all could do
a reunion show with just YouTube going together and people
would go crazy about it. Are you open to because
you all have made such an imprint on pop culture
in a lot of ways, and certainly with the franchise,
But to see two people who are beloved and have
such great fan bases, it would be great to see
you all.
Speaker 3 (08:43):
I mean I have to get paid a lot of
money for that. Sorry, So I fight, Yeah, I fight
for a price. Yeah, I mean I would be I.
You know, it's funny because she asked me to be
on her on her podcast last year before Bravo con
and then this was this was right way a franch
Yeah it is, But it was right when she was
(09:04):
having issues with you know, Screen Actors Guild and kind
of putting ingratiating herself into an environment which actually really
was bad for everybody in television. And I just was
very not interested.
Speaker 4 (09:17):
I just was not into it.
Speaker 3 (09:19):
I just wasn't interested in like engaging when she was
doing something that was hurting our how we make money.
So that was like a big no no for me.
So I told her that we could do it like
maybe sometime like twenty twenty eight or something, twenty twenty eight.
Speaker 2 (09:33):
So you're saying there's a chance, you know, I just.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
Saw window open.
Speaker 4 (09:37):
Thank you.
Speaker 3 (09:37):
Yeah, you know, I.
Speaker 4 (09:38):
Have to say as well, Look, I am a I
don't watch the didn't watch the franchise, but I am
a Bethany frank The only time I've been around Bethany Frankly,
she was wonderful to me and I spent time with
her and grilled her and asked her all kinds of
questions because I needed help at the time with something
that Robot and I were going through. So she's been
so I want to say that as well. We're not
here Bey, but she was wonderful to do me and
(10:00):
my daughter at a concert. So I just wanted to
make sure it didn't feel like we were all just here.
We're just going to show on Bethany again. No, no, no,
and no.
Speaker 3 (10:08):
And that's why I said too. I was like, there's
you know, different strokes for different folks, and you know,
had there been like you know, something, we'd been on
air and then afterwards she would have been like, oh
my god, that was so fun and we could have had,
but there was no She was just like, you are
bad and I am good, and that's just and you
know what when and listen, you know, for me, it's
(10:31):
like it's not like a trigger, but it's just you know,
again we talked, we're talking. This whole thing is about, like,
you know, second chapters, and second chapters means for me
that my children come along. And I'm sure you know
a lot of women that are in this new chapter
in their life are going to have at least one
child with them. And you know, when you are impeded
(10:52):
the ability for a mother to make money for her child,
that is an absolute line in the sand for me.
So that's all I'm saying. We like that to me.
You're here now, that's like, here's my penry here.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
And what is like, what is the the ultimate dating
red flags for you? And what you would help mentor
our listeners?
Speaker 3 (11:16):
I guess you know, just talking badly about your ex.
I mean even though the thing there's things about my
you know, ex fiance that I didn't like. I'm saying
he wasn't my lobster Like that doesn't mean I hate him.
I just was like, this is not something that we
should be doing and we're learning from that experience. So
like we thank him for helping me talk to other
(11:38):
people about you know, possibilities for you know, women and
men alike in the future. But for Red Flag, for me,
it's just like just not being like good to your.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
Ex, Like that's an actual I remember talking to one
of my girlfriends I dated someone post divorce, and I'm like,
he keeps calling his wife crazy and I'm like and
I'm like, that is bothering me because I'm like, I'm
also an ex wife and i know that, right, But
also what also made her crazy too? You know, I'm like, yes,
she can be crazy, but there's there's other sides to
that story as well, Like he also probably played into
that too. Like ever, each side has a part in
(12:10):
that play.
Speaker 1 (12:11):
You know, it can all make sense until you become
the ex wife, right.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
Right, Wait a minute, she was crazy very differently now.
Speaker 3 (12:22):
But I'm always like when someone says something, I'm always like, oh,
you know, maybe, well, you know, maybe you didn't like that,
but maybe you could just text her and just be like, hey,
I don't really like that, but you know, see you
on Thursday. Maybe, Just like I was always like trying
to like help you know, I'm always like trying to
help them, like because listen, my ex husband's French and older,
Like no one is dealing with more of a like
(12:44):
a personality. It's like, kik, what do you doing why?
I'm like, okay, okay, form, do not call me a
pet name. Okay, Like let's like line in the sand here,
like just be you know, just to try to try
to like soften the bl sometimes too, because you know,
we're you know, we're with kids and we want them
(13:05):
to be you know, feel good about their parents, whether
they're friendly or not. You know, like that's super important too,
Like we're responsible for our kids. We're responsible for how
they are going to be seeing relationships. And so that's
the other thing too.
Speaker 1 (13:19):
What are you looking for? I know you're out there,
you've said that. What are the qualities that are you
have to have these things for me to actually want
to spend the rest of my life with you? And
are you looking for that life partner?
Speaker 3 (13:32):
Oh my god, yes, of course I'm looking for that.
I mean I have a twin brother, Like I love
being around men, and my twin brother was just like
he's such a great father and human and like I'm
just like and I had such a great dad. I
had such a great dad, and so I'm just looking
for like those I mean I know that, like I
(13:52):
set the bar really high because they were so awesome,
But I'm just looking for that kind of like partner
in crime, like to do everything together like good, bad
and ugly, like days are going to be shitty, but
like like you guys, like you guys are literally i
mean just like the cutest, Like.
Speaker 1 (14:07):
There's like hearts here, everyone's going to hate.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
That's very sweet cartoon hearts.
Speaker 3 (14:14):
Like I know, like, Okay, you guys are very unique
and special and like I'm so excited for you. But
you know, for me, I just want to be around
someone that's just just genuinely cares about my well being
and not like how I can help them.
Speaker 2 (14:31):
Well, you're going to be giving advice to obviously our
listeners to help find love. Is there any advice that
you want in the dating world that you that you're
looking like.
Speaker 3 (14:39):
What am I doing wrong? Like I've been single for
such a long time, Like what am I doing wrong?
Like am I what am I doing?
Speaker 4 (14:47):
One that's so funny? Isn't that a woman thing?
Speaker 2 (14:49):
I just want to say, like that like hurts my
heart hearing because I always was like, is it's me,
it's something I'm doing wrong. I'm like, I hate and
it makes me sad that that's where women go because
it's like, there's nothing that you are doing wrong. Nothing.
I mean, you might be picking certain men, but there's
there might be a reason because you've got something unhealed,
or you have to work through something personally, but it's
you're beautiful, you're showing up and it's just not the
(15:11):
right person to meet you there.
Speaker 4 (15:13):
I don't know, as complimentary as you were too, Robok
and I here and how sweet and how wonderful that
things are great and it is amazing. We went through
hell to get here, and that's unfortunately too often people
don't want to go through the hell, don't think they
should have to go through the hell to get that
last thing. So sometimes after two or three months, when
they see that warning sign, they say, I'm gonna stick
(15:35):
with this because I don't want to start over. I
don't want to. But it was this is four divorces
down here, this is lost careers, public shame. All this
hell had to happen for us to be smiling the
way we're smiling now, but we are, and I am
grateful for what we did have to go through. Not
at the time, but damn, I'm sitting here with you
two in this studio with the love of my life.
(15:56):
My kids are great, families, are all together, happy and
healthy for the first time in my adult life. And yes,
helpful required.
Speaker 1 (16:07):
Yeah, I mean, I hope is an important part of
it when you're going through the divorce or the struggle
of trying to find someone, knowing that there is the potential, right,
That's what we all are wanting to know and believe,
and I'm hoping we can provide some of that, but
it doesn't always come easily. And I think something I've learned.
I'm curious what you think about this, Kelly, And I've
(16:27):
said this before. The big distinction with TJ and me
is our friendship. There is just this unbelievable friendship and respect,
mutual respect, and I think it's everything built from there.
Have you thought about looking for that friend first that
could develop into something passionate later.
Speaker 3 (16:47):
That I love that. I think that what happens to
me is that guys see me and they're just like you.
Mine like I'm just gonna I'm just their Jane and
they're just gonna pull my hair oft into the sunset
like that's just like okay, they're like that's mine. And yeah,
every single man has been like that's your mind, and
I'm going, you're a possession, yes, And I just don't
(17:12):
want that.
Speaker 2 (17:12):
That's not respect.
Speaker 3 (17:13):
I don't want that, and I you know, I think
and then another thing too, people are you know a
lot of men are like, well, you're educated, so you're intimidating.
Speaker 2 (17:20):
It's like why, and well.
Speaker 3 (17:24):
So they're intimidating, they're educated, they're they're doing all these things,
Like why am I intimidating? You know, It's like I'm
not doing anything that should be like like I call
a value add like I want to be around people
that make you better. I don't want to be around
people that are like, oh, you know, you're not good
enough or you know, I don't want to do that.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
Well, if a man's intimidated by your education or your success,
then that means he's got insecurity issues and you don't
want to deal with that. So he's eliminated now at
this point, right, I mean, I feel like that's actually
a good way to filter some of the guys you
might meet, because if that's even an issu you, then it's.
Speaker 2 (18:01):
A non starter, right, I will say that too, like
for what's wrong with you? For me, it's always been
the timing. Like if I would have met my husband
a few even just five years ago, I'm there was
so much stuff I personally had to work on myself.
I would have ruined that relationship in a heartbeat, like
with all of my unhealed traumas and pasts and stuff,
(18:21):
I would have one thousand percent ruined it. So I
had to meet him later at forty to appreciate, to
know that I actually do deserve this love. I don't
need something toxic. I don't have to walk this walk.
So like I think too, I don't know if there's
anything that you can do in the meantime to whatever
pieces that you feel that you want to work on.
That way, then you're meeting the person healthy and healthy
(18:42):
attracts and you know it's actually the right timing for
both of you in that time of life.
Speaker 3 (18:46):
And I love that. I mean I believe in you know,
kinetic not frenetic. I've always been like that, and that's
one reason why I was like, Okay, I'm going to
learn to play polo because it's like, okay, I know
how to ride horses, but that's like a totally different
for an environment. It'll like put my mind in a
different space. Like getting another license will be good for me,
like just you know, like for my own personal self
(19:09):
and I'll feel like I've accomplished things. And I think
that you're right. I think it's just like meeting people
at the right time. And you know, it's funny because
like you know, a lot of women are like, you know,
don't go back to like old ex'es. And it's like
sometimes you know, one time, I was like, oh, okay,
I'll go and like, you know, revisit you know this
friend of mine, banker, like really successful guy and he's amazing.
(19:32):
But I'm just like, no, like I we're friends and
we're just going to say as friends because we can't
go back there like that just didn't it just it
didn't work the first time and it's not going to
work now. I just I guess you're right. I just like,
why don't why do I have to say? Why do
I have to be like what's wrong with me? I
(19:52):
Am like I like went, you know, I'm storting with
therapists and just to talk to her about like just
literally you know everything, like the trauma, Like maybe there's
trauma from you know, there's Shama Sean, trauma from my past,
and then trauma from just you know, from being on TV.
I mean, I know that there's a lot of trauma
from that.
Speaker 2 (20:11):
You might be blocking yourself up from you know, and
guarding yourself and you don't even know that you're doing that.
Speaker 4 (20:17):
Right, Are you ready for the relationship you're talking about? Right?
Because to her point about being younger, and I know
we were the same way if we'd have met and
started dating in our thirties or early forties, so this
(20:38):
would have been a disaster.
Speaker 1 (20:39):
Right, He says that to me a lot. Oh, He's like,
it all had to happen when it happened.
Speaker 4 (20:46):
Yeah, it sucked. It had to happen how it happened,
but when it happened is probably right. But are you ready?
Do you think you're in the right space and you're
ready to That's.
Speaker 3 (20:56):
A really good question. And I feel like after spending
time I'm with my girls, which I hadn't done since
really COVID like I just felt like that family part
of me is really solid, and so, like I said,
like I feel like I'm eighteen years old again. I
feel like I'm like ready to go out there. And
(21:17):
I mean have to remember, like I started modeling when
I was fifteen from Rockford, Illinois. It's not like, you know,
just like I had this like random life. I had
this very specific, strange upbringing that most people don't have.
Like I didn't like go to high school with like
five hundred kids. You know, my twin brother was my
date at our prom. You know, It's like I went
(21:39):
to a very small school. I was in a very
you know, high profile industry at a very young age.
And so I just had a different life than most people.
And I've had a lot of really bad bad men
like attract me to be attracted to me. Not saying
that my ex was like it was a bad man.
He's not a bad man. He's just not my lobster.
Speaker 4 (21:58):
But I love that.
Speaker 3 (22:00):
But you know, just like I just have been around
a lot of people. So now I'm like now that
I'm trusting myself with like my education where I am,
with my work where I am. I had so much
fun on the Ultimate Girls trip. I really did. I
had a great time and I tried to tell them
what was going on, but they were like obsessed with
Scary Island too. I'm like, no, no, something bigger than
Scary Island two is happening and you guys are missing out,
(22:20):
And they were like, why didn't you tell us like
I did?
Speaker 4 (22:22):
Now the times killy he comes back. He says, he
calls today, I'll sign whatever bringing up you want. I
want you back, I love you, I miss you.
Speaker 2 (22:31):
He there talked to those girls first, Yeah, and make
it right with your with your daughter's huh daughter, Yeah yes,
But if he does that and sign it.
Speaker 4 (22:38):
Are you open? If he called and said that.
Speaker 3 (22:40):
You know, it's like, I'm One thing that I learned
recently is like to just close doors, like just really
close them, not like lock them, not you don't have
to be mean, but like close them and like you
know what I mean, close them and just be like
thank you, nice to see you, like hope you're well.
Speaker 2 (22:59):
Slam it shut just because we were like slamming things
like oh god, no no, but Jon Housewive slammed door.
Just nice.
Speaker 3 (23:09):
Slamming door exactly.
Speaker 1 (23:10):
Just be like oh okay, Kelly, It actually, you know
it hasn't been that long, right, Your marriage was supposed
to take place.
Speaker 3 (23:15):
What date, June?
Speaker 4 (23:18):
The summer?
Speaker 1 (23:19):
It was the summer, so it's only more months. Have
you had a moment where you wished you had gone
through with it? Have you had a moment where you think, God,
I miss him?
Speaker 3 (23:30):
You know it's funny that you say that, because you know,
right after we called it off, I had to move out,
so because he made me move out of my apartment,
so I rented my apartment. Then we moved into another apartment.
So then I had to move out of that apartment
into another apartment. And I work in real estate. There's
no apartments, so it's like awful to try to find
something and to move everything and get everything organized and
(23:51):
work and do everything.
Speaker 2 (23:53):
Can I just time it really fast? Can Can you help
me understand why you had to move out of your place?
Speaker 3 (23:57):
He I had an apartment and he didn't want to
live there, wanted to start fresh. So I was like, okay,
So I rented that apartment and then we were in
another apartment, and then I had to leave that and
find another apartment, which is like, there's no apartments available
in New York, like there is nothing. I mean, you
have to buy something. I'm like, I'm not like, this
is not what's happening right now.
Speaker 4 (24:15):
So that was just.
Speaker 3 (24:17):
All that stress. It was just there was it was
like my hot my life was so messy that I
now I'm just like I'm feeling very emotional with you guys.
First of all, thank you so much, Like I love
all your insight. You're gonna make me cry, but I'm
just like starting to like process it.
Speaker 1 (24:35):
Yeah, I mean you were the logistics like like you said,
of having we we know we just recently lived this
where you're moving and packing and the memories and then
your life is up ended and you don't have a
solid foundation or a safe place.
Speaker 3 (24:48):
Like what do you do with the photos? It's like
it's like, oh am, I gonna be like a teenager
and like ump the phinals Like I'm just like what
do I do with these? Like do I keep them?
Do I not keep? In the same exact sa. It's
a very like you unsettling time and.
Speaker 2 (25:05):
Is the emotion the piece to of like because obviously
you want your person, you want your lobster, you want
to you want companionship.
Speaker 3 (25:12):
Yes, yeah, I mean I do, of course I do, and.
Speaker 1 (25:15):
Like you have, you had a moment to miss him.
Speaker 3 (25:18):
I'm sorry to interrupt, No, no I. And that's what I'm
just saying is like I'm just starting to like get
back into the swing of things, like you know, everything
is like now calm in New York, and like I've
just been kind of like thinking through like what do
I want and just preparing for today. I was kind
of like thinking of myself, like what do I want.
I'm hearing all these stories from other people, but what
(25:39):
do I want? And to your point, you out like
I want someone that is like just really genuinely, genuinely
cares about me and wants me to be happy.
Speaker 4 (25:48):
And well, any chance that person is already in your life.
Speaker 3 (25:52):
I don't know. Why do you know him?
Speaker 4 (25:54):
I don't know. I was worrying of you might know him.
Speaker 3 (25:56):
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (25:57):
Maybe who have you been friends with for about it
worked for us. I'm just saying, it's.
Speaker 3 (26:03):
So funny, Like on TikTok, You're like tik and I
was like, this is so weird. Why are all these
psychics coming there? Like you will find the man. He
is right in front of you. He's trying to call you,
but he can't call you in his hand. His phone
is in his hand, and I'm like who what? I'm like,
is she real?
Speaker 1 (26:22):
Wait?
Speaker 2 (26:23):
Let's play a lightning round. We're all going to answer.
First question is should men pay for the first date?
I say absolutely, yes, yes, yes, yes. How long till
you text someone after a date? Three day rule?
Speaker 4 (26:36):
Question mark that evening right away? I agree immediately.
Speaker 2 (26:40):
I think I think once you leave them, be like,
that was an amazing night. Do you want the does
the girl text or the guy text first?
Speaker 4 (26:48):
Whoever is the adult? What I'm saying, where is the adult?
I want to say, we're all in here forty fifties,
and when you got time for this crap to be
playing around? I'm a grown ass man. You're a grown
ass woman. If you like me, till me.
Speaker 1 (26:59):
I ain't got time for games. Guys.
Speaker 3 (27:05):
I'm at the restaurant.
Speaker 2 (27:06):
I'm helping a lot of nice girlfriends right now with
their responses. I'm like, no, just text them Backstop waiting.
Why are you waiting? There's no point of waiting. Just
be like I had a lot of fun, swinky face,
you know, like thank you.
Speaker 1 (27:17):
TJ told me one time he was like, the biggest
mistake y'all make, meaning us girls, is that you think
we want to chase you.
Speaker 3 (27:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:23):
Yeah, you want to get the text too, Like I
appreciate the text.
Speaker 4 (27:28):
And if a guy doesn't appreciate that text and does
the right thing with it, you don't need to be
with them in the first place.
Speaker 2 (27:32):
How long till you're intimate?
Speaker 1 (27:37):
I mean for me, there wouldn't be a rule.
Speaker 4 (27:40):
For me.
Speaker 1 (27:41):
It would be when I felt like I wanted to be.
Speaker 4 (27:43):
I don't want to hear that from your girlfriend there's
no rule.
Speaker 2 (27:45):
Well, well, there are rules in place, they say, they
say like the third day or is you.
Speaker 1 (27:53):
Know, I think whenever you're feeling it.
Speaker 4 (27:55):
And yeah, this is another we're grown folks. Yeah, and
you can make whatever decision you want to.
Speaker 2 (28:01):
I think if someone is going because some people say like, oh, well,
if you give it to them right away, I'm like, no,
if the guy just wants that, then you're going to
know that right off the bat, you know, So.
Speaker 1 (28:11):
Why buy the cow if you're getting the milk for free?
I mean, come on, who grew up?
Speaker 3 (28:15):
I heard that growing on?
Speaker 4 (28:16):
I did.
Speaker 3 (28:16):
It's so dominicing.
Speaker 2 (28:17):
Actually absolutely, I think younger maybe that is more, but
when you're older, it's like, Okay, you're gonna I would
hope that it's not the case where.
Speaker 3 (28:29):
I think it's just more so. It's just it's so
difficult dating in general, and like for my kids, they're
in their twenties, and for me, it's just dating is
just really really hard, and there's just so much expectation
and like, you know, what do you want to do
in life? What's going to happen? And people have had
so many issues in the past, and you know, I
(28:50):
just I am just very open and like easy going.
If I like something, I'm just like I like you, right?
Speaker 2 (28:58):
Is ghosting? Is ghosting very acceptable? And have you guys
been ghosted before?
Speaker 3 (29:04):
I have No.
Speaker 1 (29:05):
I don't think it's acceptable. And I have not been
ghosted and I have not ghosted anyone.
Speaker 3 (29:11):
I was accused of ghosting, but it wasn't like that
I was actually ghosting. I was just way for the week,
working and I'm just kind of like, I'm kind of
you were busy. Now, well, I'm also like when I'm working,
I'm like work, I'm trying to like stay focused on
what I'm doing. I can't. And you know, it's like
you get. I mean when I was I was, when
I was on Housewives like people, they would be screaming
at me, like you don't respond. I'm like, I'm filming.
(29:32):
I'm getting yelled at, like just stop, give me two minutes.
Speaker 4 (29:35):
Like I didn't ghost you. I was just busy. That's
why I was busy.
Speaker 3 (29:41):
I mean, I was getting yelled and screamed down. I'm like,
oh my god, I'll call you in a minute.
Speaker 4 (29:44):
I know, Jenn, I have not, and I think it's
never acceptable. I mean, somebody the decency of a response.
Speaker 2 (29:51):
Right, I mean, I I agree, but I will have
to say, probably in my twenties dating in Los Angeles,
I'm sure I ghosted that. I'm almost one hundred percent
positive I've been ghosted. I'm sure I've ghosted, but post divorce.
Speaker 3 (30:05):
You're so beautiful.
Speaker 2 (30:05):
Oh, I've been ghosted many times and even posted like
post divorce ghosted many times from like, well not many times.
There was two guys I can think of that ghosted
me on Riah. We were supposed to meet at the
Soho house and then they never ended up showing up. Yeah,
and he was like a pretty like known person too.
(30:26):
And I'm like so yeah, you never heard a response
from response that was just the one awful. But I
will not say it is. I will not say who
it is. But but yeah, so I don't. But I
said post divorce, like, I will be very uh mindful
and respectful about saying I don't feel like this is
(30:48):
going to go anywhere. This isn't for me. So like
I would text and say like this one person, like, hey,
I had a lovely time with you, and I could
tell that they would want to hang out again. But
I said, for me, this, this isn't what I'm looking for.
And then what was frustrating Some guys would be like
but I was still like another chance, why don't you.
I'm like, I don't have you know what I mean, Like,
I'm like I've said please see above.
Speaker 3 (31:06):
Basically I just want to.
Speaker 2 (31:10):
Like sometimes they don't even accept the response. But even so,
I knew I did the right thing by at least
so I grew in that aspect because I'm pretty sure
I've got.
Speaker 3 (31:18):
That's a good thing. I should say that if there's
someone that I like, I should.
Speaker 2 (31:21):
Say because I'm a mom too, it needs to align
with my family, you know, Like I'm not like I
used to appease and go out and second dates when
I knew it wasn't the thing. But now older, I'm like,
this is a this is not I'd rather be here
with my children. This is a waste of everyone's time. Yes, yeah, yeah,
well that was that lightning round over.
Speaker 4 (31:39):
You guys on I was enjoying that.
Speaker 3 (31:42):
I like. I like the from like you know, from
the I like the responding. I like what you were saying,
Like I like what everyone is saying. Just like to
respond and like be the adult in the room and just.
And I need to also be more like adult with
with with texting too. I'm not a good texture, so
I need to be more just. I'm not either, are
just really good at it. Like I'm on my phone
so much for work that the last thing I want
to do is like text someone like I just you know,
(32:05):
it's psych a lot.
Speaker 2 (32:16):
Wait, I have one more. I'm sorry, what is your
what is everyone's deal breaker?
Speaker 4 (32:21):
Smoking?
Speaker 3 (32:23):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (32:23):
Period?
Speaker 2 (32:24):
Have you ever smoked before? Never been a smoking never,
never smoked one cigarette?
Speaker 4 (32:28):
Oh yeah cigarette before in life. But if somebody was
an actual smoker, it's just not we are not going
to work out, and I don't care who it is.
Speaker 3 (32:35):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (32:36):
A deal breaker for me is anyone who has anger issues.
I just I can't deal with the yelling and the
name calling. I'm over that in my life completely. So
that's a deal break.
Speaker 4 (32:46):
And if it's an angry smoker she's really smoking, is.
Speaker 1 (32:49):
High on my list?
Speaker 2 (32:50):
Yeah, yes, yeah, mine would be. I've got to just because.
And I'm not saying if you cheat, you can't fix
your relationship, but for me, knowing how I react now
in this situations and given my past, I couldn't be
in a relationship if someone cheated again. And then any
any sort of abuse, whether it's insinuating aggression, getting in
(33:11):
my face or actual physical touches, You're out.
Speaker 3 (33:14):
I could not agree more. I think fatas physical touch
is absolutely out. Anger is absolutely out. I just will
not put up with that.
Speaker 4 (33:22):
Kelly, can you tell folks because some are gonna folks
are want to hear this, and there're gonna be some
guys who might be interested in you. They are going
to hear this, and they might not jump on Rya.
Maybe they just wow, do I have a shot at Kelly?
What what is the you said? You don't text, you
don't like the text? You're not good on text? How
should What is the right way to court Kelly?
Speaker 2 (33:44):
Yeah, just ask me out and slid into your DMS.
Speaker 4 (33:48):
Does that work?
Speaker 2 (33:48):
So my husband got me that way. I love that.
Speaker 3 (33:53):
Yeah, please don't sign them to my DMS.
Speaker 2 (33:55):
I feel like it's better than RYA though. I've got
to be honest with you. Instagram is like the better
dating app I think. Yeah, I would just say be
open to it.
Speaker 3 (34:02):
I just get so many weird people doing so many
weird things.
Speaker 2 (34:05):
Well, you got to make sure they're like got a
little verified check.
Speaker 1 (34:08):
We need the little blue check mark, not a paycheck either, Like.
Speaker 3 (34:12):
No, like I don't know you, Like I try to
be nice, but I'm like, oh god, I guess you know,
just if you knew someone that I knew, just to
give me some comfort, because like, like when we talked
about that before, like trust is really important to me,
and so just for me to like feel like I'm
you know, like you're not trying to like use me
(34:33):
is like that's just like my big thing too. I
mean outside of like you know, aggressive behavior like aggression
towards your your exes or any anything like that, but
just feeling like I'm being used just just not like
I've had so many guys be like, oh, yeah, I'm
with Kelly, you know, like Kelly'll handle the reservation or
Kelly'll do this. I'm like, oh, who's Kelly? Like you
(34:55):
want to be?
Speaker 1 (34:56):
I mean, doesn't every woman. I don't want to speak
for everyone, but I'm going to say it anyway and
just ask you too what you think. Don't we all
just at the end of the day, no matter how
much money we have or how much success we've had,
don't we just want to be taken care of?
Speaker 2 (35:10):
Yes, you guys. I had this guy post divorce where
he took me on a nice little weekend getaway and
at the very end he goes, hey, do you mind
posting this? And I go and I said I and
I knew exactly what was coming. And I said, what
do you mean why? And he goes, well, because if
you post, we get it for free.
Speaker 4 (35:25):
And I was like, oh, no, no, no.
Speaker 1 (35:28):
No, yeah that's awful, Like yeah, let me, that's horrible.
Speaker 2 (35:32):
But then my problem is I continue dating this person
like that's like, but those are things that now you see.
Then I'm like, you know, but I'm like, that's you
don't want to you want someone to take care of
you and not take advantage of you.
Speaker 3 (35:44):
Yeah, there you go.
Speaker 4 (35:45):
Yeah, you'll always say she says it all the time.
It's just amount of safety. You just make me feel serious.
It's not just financial, just emotional safety.
Speaker 1 (35:52):
Emotional safety.
Speaker 4 (35:52):
I feel like somebody's got you in that way, so
that that's nuts. That's where are you'll finding these dudes?
Speaker 3 (35:58):
What is wrong with us? At TJ okay exactly.
Speaker 4 (36:04):
That's crazy. Nothing's wrong with y'all. Something sometimes is terribly wrong.
Speaker 2 (36:07):
We want to Yeah, I think we hold on to
people because we think maybe that's our best shot and
that's the only person out there. But it's not. But
it's not, it's not. And we're so excited to have
Kelly be a part of our celebrity mentor team on
I Do Part two. We know our single listeners are
going to learn so much from you. So if you
are single and ready to find love again, call us
one eight four four four I Do Pod. That's eight
(36:28):
four four four four three six seven six three or
email us at I dopod at iHeartRadio dot com and
obviously follow us on Instagram at I Do Part two Pod.
I Love That Love You this is so fun. This
is it's like the biggest screat and now I just
want everyone to be happy and and love and have
the heart sing with you guys.
Speaker 3 (36:46):
Oh my god, you guys. You are You're like a
huge hug. I love you, guys.
Speaker 4 (36:50):
Look, we can't say it enough. You've said a lot
of kind words to us here, and look, I will
be honest with you. That my first introduction to you.
I read plenty, But the first time I've ever saw
you on television was when I watched Season three, episode twelve,
which was the.
Speaker 1 (37:04):
Scary Eye Island episode SYE.
Speaker 4 (37:06):
So that was my first exposure to you. It was
a wild scene. But then you walked into this place
and you were the warmest, the big smile, big hug.
So I I know you say that's authentically you, but
it's unfortunate sometimes people think that you're a caricature or
that's only you. We're seeing you sit here and talk
passionately and authentically and with tears in your eyes about life.
(37:29):
You're just going through with like everybody else. So we
thank you for your words, and it's a pleasure to
get to meet you here.
Speaker 3 (37:35):
But you're with me on Scary Island. You would have
been like, wait, what is going on? You'd be like, Kelly,
give me one of those comming bears.
Speaker 1 (37:41):
I mean, you're you and you still are a single
mom who you're a mama mama bear like so many
of us are. And yes, you'd like to protect your heart,
but more importantly you want to protect your daughter's hearts.
And so you can see that, you can feel that
that is true and real. And I guess any advice
for anyone who wants to date you is they need
to make sure your to the loves of your life. Yes,
(38:02):
are okay with him first? That's probably the biggest test
they have to pass, yes, one.
Speaker 3 (38:07):
Hundred percent, Because I mean, don't you want like one big, happy,
fun family and there's there's and it's just so easy.
It's so easy to do. I think that sometimes like
men or women to like they create drama so that
there's energy towards that person. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no,
this is like this is a unit. We want the unit.
(38:27):
We don't want, you know, like fractured. We want it
to be one big unit. So that's what I'm looking
for my missing piece.
Speaker 2 (38:33):
Well, we're excited. The listeners are going to be so
lucky to have you be a mentor, so thank you.
I'm excited You're going to find love in the process
with them.
Speaker 3 (38:42):
I'm gonna be crying. I'm gonna be fining love. It's
going to be like this huge journey for me.
Speaker 4 (38:47):
It's like, at the end of that, you end up
in a relationship, end up married.
Speaker 2 (38:52):
We need to get on a group message so you
can tell us anything so we can be like no
red flag, Nope, we gotta help. We gotta help you too,
So here we go.
Speaker 3 (39:00):
I was I was actually supposed to be with Luan
right now. She's on a dating show in Cowbo and
I was supposed to be giving her advice today and
then and I was thinking to myself, like, what if
I met one of the guys and I was interested
in that.
Speaker 2 (39:12):
What if it was a client?
Speaker 3 (39:14):
Is that a no?
Speaker 1 (39:15):
No?
Speaker 3 (39:16):
So I actually met one client who was really attractive,
who was so great, and I just said I was
honest with them. I was like, you know, I my
reputation is everything, and so you know later on, but
not while you're working. I can't do it.
Speaker 1 (39:28):
Sometimes you can find love at work, I was sae let. Yeah,
just letting you know that that is actually a great
place sometimes to meet someone.
Speaker 3 (39:36):
But I feel like in my business, because it's a
transaction business, you can't. I mean, if you do start
down that, it's a very slippery slope. And I just
trust is everything, and I want my clients to feel
like they are getting there you know that I'm there
for them in that financial transaction and if later on
something happens like I'm open to that, but not while
we're in the middle of, you know, dealing with their money.
Speaker 4 (39:58):
Thank you for saying transaction, because John, I'm meant to
ask you. I know we're wrapping here, but we talked
about protecting your finances right with the free nup? How
do you do women? Do you protect your heart? How
do you go about that? You talk about that step
you want to take because I got to protect what
I've built. Are women so often trying to protect their heart?
And does that get in the way sometimes possibly under community?
Speaker 3 (40:21):
Yeah, I don't know if it's so much heart. I
think it's just like there's so much more ego now
than there ever has been.
Speaker 2 (40:27):
Yeah, And I think just the ego, it's just as
a hego is there to protect your protection is first
and foremost my babies, Like that's I'll always protect my family,
and then I feel like I'm kind of second to that.
But yeah, I don't know. I mean, I think we've
definitely I'm so scared of for me personally, the unsteadiness
of things and fearful of what could happen because it's
(40:51):
what I've been used to. But I think now it's
like I have to just lean into trusting that it's
a different situation and to open my heart up to
know that this isn't it's going to be the same
thing because this is a different person and I don't
have to mirror that.
Speaker 1 (41:04):
Yeah, I agree, and and yes, I think TJ. We
all do try to protect our hearts, but it can't
be at the cost of the other person's. I think
that's the big that's the big takeaway. But you know what, Kelly,
we're looking forward to. We love weddings here, so we
are looking forward to celebrating yours.
Speaker 3 (41:20):
At the end of all of this.
Speaker 1 (41:22):
That's I mean, the one that actually happens.
Speaker 3 (41:24):
I would you know, It's like it's so funny because
the wedding business is so huge, and it's like I
would love to I will be married. I will get married, Yes,
you will. I think like next year is a very
big year for me. I'm feeling very very like, well,
just because I'm I'm gonna put the work.
Speaker 1 (41:38):
In, you're manifesting.
Speaker 2 (41:40):
Wait, actually have someone for you? I think that. Yeah, wait,
can on sidebar kind of set you up potentially? Okay,
I think it would be great.
Speaker 1 (41:49):
All right, that's just the beginning, okay of setups and
potential new romances and.
Speaker 3 (41:56):
First putting the work in. You have to at the
work in. You have to know what your bandwidth is
and you have to put the work in. You can't
just be like, yeah, I'm open and available. You have
to put the work in. Amen to that.
Speaker 4 (42:08):
If you are single and ready to find love again,
call us at one eight four four four I Do Pod.
That's eight four four four four three six seven six three,
or you can email us at idopod at iHeartRadio dot com.
That's idopod at iHeartRadio dot com. Or you can follow
us on Instagram at I Do Part two Pod. That's
(42:31):
I Do Part two. That's the digit two in the
middle of there. I Do Part two Pod and iHeartRadio
Podcast where Falling in love is the main objective
Welcome back to I Do Part two, the podcast that's
all about finding love again and where some of your
hosts Amy here along with TJ and Janna, And this
is part two of our conversation with Kelly ben Simone
from the Real Housewives of New York and Ultimate Girls Trip.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Do you think girls should go out to meet guys
in groups like the Ultimate Girls Trip?
Speaker 3 (00:35):
You know when that Ultimate Girls Trip, They're always like,
introduce me, to introduce me, introduce me. So I'm constantly
introducing them to everybody, and then they don't like the
guys and I'm just like, I didn't say, like you
asked me to introduce you. I'm like, Hi, this is
the way, mister Rinda.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
Right, Like TJ, would you rather meet someone in a group.
I mean, obviously you're in a lovely relationship, but with
you were single, would you want to meet in a
group or in a one on one setday?
Speaker 4 (00:57):
No, I'm always been it's more one on one orthetic. Yeah, like,
just meet people. I don't like being set up. I
don't like, well, she'll be there and we'll go with
our group.
Speaker 3 (01:06):
No.
Speaker 4 (01:07):
Just in day to day life, you just meet people
and it's sot to hear about dating apps, and I
hear that now, and that just blows my mind to
where they're I couldn't imagine doing that. I'm from I'm
forty seven now, so I grew up in an era
where that wasn't necessarily the case, the dating online. But
I just I guess you hear me talking about it.
A prenup is not romantic to me or you hear
(01:27):
I just just old fashioned in that way. So I
just organically think, why can't people just meet people? We
see people all the time, but we don't give people
that we see on the train or at a restaurant
or down we're looking at our phone when the level
of your life might be at the end of the ball, right,
you don't even look down there. That is my mindset
on it.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
Yeah, one Rya is so superficial too. I mean there's
so many beautiful people, especially on those apps, and Rya
specifically where it's just supermodel after supermodel and there and
the ones in Portugal or Istanbul or like.
Speaker 3 (01:59):
I was saying everything, I don't even take photos like that.
These guys are like so they're like doing backflips off
of like mountains and like these exotic places I'm like,
what is happening here? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (02:09):
It just looks really pretty, and I feel like that's
where it's like, oh they can get somebody better with
a swipe of a finger, right.
Speaker 1 (02:15):
Wow, You're always being compared to someone's adventure or their
photoshop this or that. That's crazy. How much more difficult
is it to date in your I mean you've been
single for a long time. Have you found it to
be more difficult the older you get?
Speaker 2 (02:29):
What?
Speaker 1 (02:29):
Like, do you feel like what you have to choose
from gets as a smaller pool? What's that been like?
Speaker 3 (02:37):
So you know, I feel like, you know, I've been single.
I mean I've been single for a while since I
got divorced in two thousand and seven, So I've been
single since like two thousand and six. And you know,
I think that there was you know, I met a
lot of different people, but it was like, really more
about my mindset and that's another kind of advice. So
we talked about bandwidth, but also like the mindset, so
(03:00):
you know, kind of really being open to dating. I
was so worried about my children, about raising them from Rockford, Illinois,
like I'm living in New York City, like with all
these like you know things, and I'm just like, how
am I going to raise my kids? And with a
suburban mindset in an urban environment, that was like what
I was constantly thinking about. I wasn't thinking about like, hey,
(03:24):
that guy's hot, you know. And then I went on
housewives and housewives really even though I was on the
cover Playboy and I had all these you know, beautiful
accolades and everything was really exciting. You know, fighting with
a woman on a television show really made a lot
of guys being like what's the tea here? Like what
is going on? I'm like, by the way, I get
(03:45):
paid a lot of money to argue with females and
like that's not my thing, but you know a lot
of guys are kind of like what is going on here? Like,
you know, why would someone want to marry someone who's
known for arguing with women? Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 4 (03:59):
Like, wow, chances in the day about that?
Speaker 3 (04:05):
No, because it was just I mean, it was such
a huge opportunity. I mean, I wrote, you know, I
wrote two books before, three books before that, and then
four books after two novels, Like a lot of different
opportunities that came my way that would never. I Mean,
one of the reasons that I'm so successful in real
estate is because I know so many people, and when
people see things I'm doing, they're like, oh, that's good
(04:25):
because it's her. So, I mean, it's been such an
amazing opportunity, but it was very, very difficult for me personally.
Speaker 1 (04:33):
Kelly, we just watched back the Scary Island episode today
actually before, just to be reacquainted with that.
Speaker 3 (04:40):
Have you watched it? Rewatched it?
Speaker 1 (04:42):
Like, do you look back and think I shouldn't have
done this, I shouldn't have said this, or you do
you own and and stay true to everything that we
saw on that episode.
Speaker 3 (04:51):
So I before I was on Housewives, I had this
amazing acting coach name is Anthony Abson, and he said
to me, he's like, if you're to go on this show,
He's like, you need to be one hundred percent authentic
because if you're going to go on the show, you
can't be something else because later on in life, whatever's
going to happen, You're going to have to acknowledge all
(05:14):
these things. And so I was literally one hundred percent
authentic and I'm I'm dealing with it would be like
being in a scene with someone where you're like, you're
true and the other person is like looking away or
like waiting for their moment for them to like have
so their kind of narrative play out. And so I
was like, wait, I'm sorry, what's happening right now? Which
(05:34):
scene are we in? Because I missed that. I thought
we were talking about X or whatever. And so, you know,
a lot of you know, not a lot one woman
just in particular, she was just like, I will do
this and this is how I'm going to do it,
and whatever is in my way, I am going to
get rid of it. And I just happened to be
that person you were in the way. Yeah, I was
(05:56):
in the way. But what was the good news too?
Is that I was in the way, But you know
it also made me, you know, very successful, So you know,
it's bittersweet, but I mean, I'm proud of like who
I am. And you know, I don't like it when
people say like I was edited poorly, because don't go
on reality TV if you're going to talk about being edited.
(06:17):
Do you know what I mean? This isn't like ABC,
This isn't you know, a podcast. This is a television
show that you know needs to fit a certain amount
of time, and it's seven storylines, one big storyline. You know,
it has there's things that has to have to happen.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
Would you go back on if they asked you to come?
Speaker 3 (06:33):
Well, I did The Ultimate Girls trub I just finished.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
But the New York Ones, I know they're going to
reboot my characters.
Speaker 3 (06:39):
Well. See I know Jenna really well from j Crew
and Uba and I know each other really well. I
don't know the other ladies, but I just, I mean
I think that yeah, I definitely. I mean, of course,
like I was one million dollars listening. I had so
much fun. Like I love reality TV because I'm just myself,
Like I don't I'm not unapologetically myself, and I think
that it's like sometimes endearing and sometimes.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
Amy's like laughing, She's like, oh my god, No, I
love it though. I mean, I think no matter what,
we and we meet a lot of people who we
all think we have a certain idea of whether they're
actors or reality TV shows, and when you actually get
to meet them, you know right away when someone is
exactly who they are. They're not putting on airs, they're
not performing, and you are that you are authentic, you
(07:24):
are unapologetically you, which I and I think a lot
of people are always appreciative of because you what you
see is what you get, yah, and that to me
is mostly all you can ask for in a relationship. Right.
Everything else is it's just it's false and it's impossible
to navigate.
Speaker 3 (07:41):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
No, I was just gonna say it's hard because I
don't I don't religiously watch the Housewives shows. I just
kind of, you know, follow certain people on Instagram, which
is you know how Bethany slash Brittany or whatever. How
When I look at but it's like, so I only
know because like to me, I'm like, oh, she's authentically her,
you know. And so I'm like, is that like? I guess,
you know, because then I look at you, I'm like,
(08:02):
you're beautiful, You're authentically you. So I'm like to me,
I'm like, oh, I think you guys would be best friends,
you know, because like two authentic, beautiful women. But I
guess you know.
Speaker 3 (08:10):
But different people have like different pathways to success, right
Mine is to celebrate people and hers is to tear
them down. So it's just just different. It's not good
or bad, it's just totally different.
Speaker 4 (08:24):
Is there no chance here? Are you open to you
all having a I don't know, you all could do
a reunion show with just YouTube going together and people
would go crazy about it. Are you open to because
you all have made such an imprint on pop culture
in a lot of ways, and certainly with the franchise,
But to see two people who are beloved and have
such great fan bases, it would be great to see
you all.
Speaker 3 (08:43):
I mean I have to get paid a lot of
money for that. Sorry, So I fight, Yeah, I fight
for a price. Yeah, I mean I would be I.
You know, it's funny because she asked me to be
on her on her podcast last year before Bravo con
and then this was this was right way a franch
Yeah it is, But it was right when she was
(09:04):
having issues with you know, Screen Actors Guild and kind
of putting ingratiating herself into an environment which actually really
was bad for everybody in television. And I just was
very not interested.
Speaker 4 (09:17):
I just was not into it.
Speaker 3 (09:19):
I just wasn't interested in like engaging when she was
doing something that was hurting our how we make money.
So that was like a big no no for me.
So I told her that we could do it like
maybe sometime like twenty twenty eight or something, twenty twenty eight.
Speaker 2 (09:33):
So you're saying there's a chance, you know, I just.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
Saw window open.
Speaker 4 (09:37):
Thank you.
Speaker 3 (09:37):
Yeah, you know, I.
Speaker 4 (09:38):
Have to say as well, Look, I am a I
don't watch the didn't watch the franchise, but I am
a Bethany frank The only time I've been around Bethany Frankly,
she was wonderful to me and I spent time with
her and grilled her and asked her all kinds of
questions because I needed help at the time with something
that Robot and I were going through. So she's been
so I want to say that as well. We're not
here Bey, but she was wonderful to do me and
(10:00):
my daughter at a concert. So I just wanted to
make sure it didn't feel like we were all just here.
We're just going to show on Bethany again. No, no, no,
and no.
Speaker 3 (10:08):
And that's why I said too. I was like, there's
you know, different strokes for different folks, and you know,
had there been like you know, something, we'd been on
air and then afterwards she would have been like, oh
my god, that was so fun and we could have had,
but there was no She was just like, you are
bad and I am good, and that's just and you
know what when and listen, you know, for me, it's
(10:31):
like it's not like a trigger, but it's just you know,
again we talked, we're talking. This whole thing is about, like,
you know, second chapters, and second chapters means for me
that my children come along. And I'm sure you know
a lot of women that are in this new chapter
in their life are going to have at least one
child with them. And you know, when you are impeded
(10:52):
the ability for a mother to make money for her child,
that is an absolute line in the sand for me.
So that's all I'm saying. We like that to me.
You're here now, that's like, here's my penry here.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
And what is like, what is the the ultimate dating
red flags for you? And what you would help mentor
our listeners?
Speaker 3 (11:16):
I guess you know, just talking badly about your ex.
I mean even though the thing there's things about my
you know, ex fiance that I didn't like. I'm saying
he wasn't my lobster Like that doesn't mean I hate him.
I just was like, this is not something that we
should be doing and we're learning from that experience. So
like we thank him for helping me talk to other
(11:38):
people about you know, possibilities for you know, women and
men alike in the future. But for Red Flag, for me,
it's just like just not being like good to your.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
Ex, Like that's an actual I remember talking to one
of my girlfriends I dated someone post divorce, and I'm like,
he keeps calling his wife crazy and I'm like and
I'm like, that is bothering me because I'm like, I'm
also an ex wife and i know that, right, But
also what also made her crazy too? You know, I'm like, yes,
she can be crazy, but there's there's other sides to
that story as well, Like he also probably played into
that too. Like ever, each side has a part in
(12:10):
that play.
Speaker 1 (12:11):
You know, it can all make sense until you become
the ex wife, right.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
Right, Wait a minute, she was crazy very differently now.
Speaker 3 (12:22):
But I'm always like when someone says something, I'm always like, oh,
you know, maybe, well, you know, maybe you didn't like that,
but maybe you could just text her and just be like, hey,
I don't really like that, but you know, see you
on Thursday. Maybe, Just like I was always like trying
to like help you know, I'm always like trying to
help them, like because listen, my ex husband's French and older,
Like no one is dealing with more of a like
(12:44):
a personality. It's like, kik, what do you doing why?
I'm like, okay, okay, form, do not call me a
pet name. Okay, Like let's like line in the sand here,
like just be you know, just to try to try
to like soften the bl sometimes too, because you know,
we're you know, we're with kids and we want them
(13:05):
to be you know, feel good about their parents, whether
they're friendly or not. You know, like that's super important too,
Like we're responsible for our kids. We're responsible for how
they are going to be seeing relationships. And so that's
the other thing too.
Speaker 1 (13:19):
What are you looking for? I know you're out there,
you've said that. What are the qualities that are you
have to have these things for me to actually want
to spend the rest of my life with you? And
are you looking for that life partner?
Speaker 3 (13:32):
Oh my god, yes, of course I'm looking for that.
I mean I have a twin brother, Like I love
being around men, and my twin brother was just like
he's such a great father and human and like I'm
just like and I had such a great dad. I
had such a great dad, and so I'm just looking
for like those I mean I know that, like I
(13:52):
set the bar really high because they were so awesome,
But I'm just looking for that kind of like partner
in crime, like to do everything together like good, bad
and ugly, like days are going to be shitty, but
like like you guys, like you guys are literally i
mean just like the cutest, Like.
Speaker 1 (14:07):
There's like hearts here, everyone's going to hate.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
That's very sweet cartoon hearts.
Speaker 3 (14:14):
Like I know, like, Okay, you guys are very unique
and special and like I'm so excited for you. But
you know, for me, I just want to be around
someone that's just just genuinely cares about my well being
and not like how I can help them.
Speaker 2 (14:31):
Well, you're going to be giving advice to obviously our
listeners to help find love. Is there any advice that
you want in the dating world that you that you're
looking like.
Speaker 3 (14:39):
What am I doing wrong? Like I've been single for
such a long time, Like what am I doing wrong?
Like am I what am I doing?
Speaker 4 (14:47):
One that's so funny? Isn't that a woman thing?
Speaker 2 (14:49):
I just want to say, like that like hurts my
heart hearing because I always was like, is it's me,
it's something I'm doing wrong. I'm like, I hate and
it makes me sad that that's where women go because
it's like, there's nothing that you are doing wrong. Nothing.
I mean, you might be picking certain men, but there's
there might be a reason because you've got something unhealed,
or you have to work through something personally, but it's
you're beautiful, you're showing up and it's just not the
(15:11):
right person to meet you there.
Speaker 4 (15:13):
I don't know, as complimentary as you were too, Robok
and I here and how sweet and how wonderful that
things are great and it is amazing. We went through
hell to get here, and that's unfortunately too often people
don't want to go through the hell, don't think they
should have to go through the hell to get that
last thing. So sometimes after two or three months, when
they see that warning sign, they say, I'm gonna stick
(15:35):
with this because I don't want to start over. I
don't want to. But it was this is four divorces
down here, this is lost careers, public shame. All this
hell had to happen for us to be smiling the
way we're smiling now, but we are, and I am
grateful for what we did have to go through. Not
at the time, but damn, I'm sitting here with you
two in this studio with the love of my life.
(15:56):
My kids are great, families, are all together, happy and
healthy for the first time in my adult life. And yes,
helpful required.
Speaker 1 (16:07):
Yeah, I mean, I hope is an important part of
it when you're going through the divorce or the struggle
of trying to find someone, knowing that there is the potential, right,
That's what we all are wanting to know and believe,
and I'm hoping we can provide some of that, but
it doesn't always come easily. And I think something I've learned.
I'm curious what you think about this, Kelly, And I've
(16:27):
said this before. The big distinction with TJ and me
is our friendship. There is just this unbelievable friendship and respect,
mutual respect, and I think it's everything built from there.
Have you thought about looking for that friend first that
could develop into something passionate later.
Speaker 3 (16:47):
That I love that. I think that what happens to
me is that guys see me and they're just like you.
Mine like I'm just gonna I'm just their Jane and
they're just gonna pull my hair oft into the sunset
like that's just like okay, they're like that's mine. And yeah,
every single man has been like that's your mind, and
I'm going, you're a possession, yes, And I just don't
(17:12):
want that.
Speaker 2 (17:12):
That's not respect.
Speaker 3 (17:13):
I don't want that, and I you know, I think
and then another thing too, people are you know a
lot of men are like, well, you're educated, so you're intimidating.
Speaker 2 (17:20):
It's like why, and well.
Speaker 3 (17:24):
So they're intimidating, they're educated, they're they're doing all these things,
Like why am I intimidating? You know, It's like I'm
not doing anything that should be like like I call
a value add like I want to be around people
that make you better. I don't want to be around
people that are like, oh, you know, you're not good
enough or you know, I don't want to do that.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
Well, if a man's intimidated by your education or your success,
then that means he's got insecurity issues and you don't
want to deal with that. So he's eliminated now at
this point, right, I mean, I feel like that's actually
a good way to filter some of the guys you
might meet, because if that's even an issu you, then it's.
Speaker 2 (18:01):
A non starter, right, I will say that too, like
for what's wrong with you? For me, it's always been
the timing. Like if I would have met my husband
a few even just five years ago, I'm there was
so much stuff I personally had to work on myself.
I would have ruined that relationship in a heartbeat, like
with all of my unhealed traumas and pasts and stuff,
(18:21):
I would have one thousand percent ruined it. So I
had to meet him later at forty to appreciate, to
know that I actually do deserve this love. I don't
need something toxic. I don't have to walk this walk.
So like I think too, I don't know if there's
anything that you can do in the meantime to whatever
pieces that you feel that you want to work on.
That way, then you're meeting the person healthy and healthy
(18:42):
attracts and you know it's actually the right timing for
both of you in that time of life.
Speaker 3 (18:46):
And I love that. I mean I believe in you know,
kinetic not frenetic. I've always been like that, and that's
one reason why I was like, Okay, I'm going to
learn to play polo because it's like, okay, I know
how to ride horses, but that's like a totally different
for an environment. It'll like put my mind in a
different space. Like getting another license will be good for me,
like just you know, like for my own personal self
(19:09):
and I'll feel like I've accomplished things. And I think
that you're right. I think it's just like meeting people
at the right time. And you know, it's funny because
like you know, a lot of women are like, you know,
don't go back to like old ex'es. And it's like
sometimes you know, one time, I was like, oh, okay,
I'll go and like, you know, revisit you know this
friend of mine, banker, like really successful guy and he's amazing.
(19:32):
But I'm just like, no, like I we're friends and
we're just going to say as friends because we can't
go back there like that just didn't it just it
didn't work the first time and it's not going to
work now. I just I guess you're right. I just like,
why don't why do I have to say? Why do
I have to be like what's wrong with me? I
(19:52):
Am like I like went, you know, I'm storting with
therapists and just to talk to her about like just
literally you know everything, like the trauma, Like maybe there's
trauma from you know, there's Shama Sean, trauma from my past,
and then trauma from just you know, from being on TV.
I mean, I know that there's a lot of trauma
from that.
Speaker 2 (20:11):
You might be blocking yourself up from you know, and
guarding yourself and you don't even know that you're doing that.
Speaker 4 (20:17):
Right, Are you ready for the relationship you're talking about? Right?
Because to her point about being younger, and I know
we were the same way if we'd have met and
started dating in our thirties or early forties, so this
(20:38):
would have been a disaster.
Speaker 1 (20:39):
Right, He says that to me a lot. Oh, He's like,
it all had to happen when it happened.
Speaker 4 (20:46):
Yeah, it sucked. It had to happen how it happened,
but when it happened is probably right. But are you ready?
Do you think you're in the right space and you're
ready to That's.
Speaker 3 (20:56):
A really good question. And I feel like after spending
time I'm with my girls, which I hadn't done since
really COVID like I just felt like that family part
of me is really solid, and so, like I said,
like I feel like I'm eighteen years old again. I
feel like I'm like ready to go out there. And
(21:17):
I mean have to remember, like I started modeling when
I was fifteen from Rockford, Illinois. It's not like, you know,
just like I had this like random life. I had
this very specific, strange upbringing that most people don't have.
Like I didn't like go to high school with like
five hundred kids. You know, my twin brother was my
date at our prom. You know, It's like I went
(21:39):
to a very small school. I was in a very
you know, high profile industry at a very young age.
And so I just had a different life than most people.
And I've had a lot of really bad bad men
like attract me to be attracted to me. Not saying
that my ex was like it was a bad man.
He's not a bad man. He's just not my lobster.
Speaker 4 (21:58):
But I love that.
Speaker 3 (22:00):
But you know, just like I just have been around
a lot of people. So now I'm like now that
I'm trusting myself with like my education where I am,
with my work where I am. I had so much
fun on the Ultimate Girls trip. I really did. I
had a great time and I tried to tell them
what was going on, but they were like obsessed with
Scary Island too. I'm like, no, no, something bigger than
Scary Island two is happening and you guys are missing out,
(22:20):
And they were like, why didn't you tell us like
I did?
Speaker 4 (22:22):
Now the times killy he comes back. He says, he
calls today, I'll sign whatever bringing up you want. I
want you back, I love you, I miss you.
Speaker 2 (22:31):
He there talked to those girls first, Yeah, and make
it right with your with your daughter's huh daughter, Yeah yes,
But if he does that and sign it.
Speaker 4 (22:38):
Are you open? If he called and said that.
Speaker 3 (22:40):
You know, it's like, I'm One thing that I learned
recently is like to just close doors, like just really
close them, not like lock them, not you don't have
to be mean, but like close them and like you
know what I mean, close them and just be like
thank you, nice to see you, like hope you're well.
Speaker 2 (22:59):
Slam it shut just because we were like slamming things
like oh god, no no, but Jon Housewive slammed door.
Just nice.
Speaker 3 (23:09):
Slamming door exactly.
Speaker 1 (23:10):
Just be like oh okay, Kelly, It actually, you know
it hasn't been that long, right, Your marriage was supposed
to take place.
Speaker 3 (23:15):
What date, June?
Speaker 4 (23:18):
The summer?
Speaker 1 (23:19):
It was the summer, so it's only more months. Have
you had a moment where you wished you had gone
through with it? Have you had a moment where you think, God,
I miss him?
Speaker 3 (23:30):
You know it's funny that you say that, because you know,
right after we called it off, I had to move out,
so because he made me move out of my apartment,
so I rented my apartment. Then we moved into another apartment.
So then I had to move out of that apartment
into another apartment. And I work in real estate. There's
no apartments, so it's like awful to try to find
something and to move everything and get everything organized and
(23:51):
work and do everything.
Speaker 2 (23:53):
Can I just time it really fast? Can Can you help
me understand why you had to move out of your place?
Speaker 3 (23:57):
He I had an apartment and he didn't want to
live there, wanted to start fresh. So I was like, okay,
So I rented that apartment and then we were in
another apartment, and then I had to leave that and
find another apartment, which is like, there's no apartments available
in New York, like there is nothing. I mean, you
have to buy something. I'm like, I'm not like, this
is not what's happening right now.
Speaker 4 (24:15):
So that was just.
Speaker 3 (24:17):
All that stress. It was just there was it was
like my hot my life was so messy that I
now I'm just like I'm feeling very emotional with you guys.
First of all, thank you so much, Like I love
all your insight. You're gonna make me cry, but I'm
just like starting to like process it.
Speaker 1 (24:35):
Yeah, I mean you were the logistics like like you said,
of having we we know we just recently lived this
where you're moving and packing and the memories and then
your life is up ended and you don't have a
solid foundation or a safe place.
Speaker 3 (24:48):
Like what do you do with the photos? It's like
it's like, oh am, I gonna be like a teenager
and like ump the phinals Like I'm just like what
do I do with these? Like do I keep them?
Do I not keep? In the same exact sa. It's
a very like you unsettling time and.
Speaker 2 (25:05):
Is the emotion the piece to of like because obviously
you want your person, you want your lobster, you want
to you want companionship.
Speaker 3 (25:12):
Yes, yeah, I mean I do, of course I do, and.
Speaker 1 (25:15):
Like you have, you had a moment to miss him.
Speaker 3 (25:18):
I'm sorry to interrupt, No, no I. And that's what I'm
just saying is like I'm just starting to like get
back into the swing of things, like you know, everything
is like now calm in New York, and like I've
just been kind of like thinking through like what do
I want and just preparing for today. I was kind
of like thinking of myself, like what do I want.
I'm hearing all these stories from other people, but what
(25:39):
do I want? And to your point, you out like
I want someone that is like just really genuinely, genuinely
cares about me and wants me to be happy.
Speaker 4 (25:48):
And well, any chance that person is already in your life.
Speaker 3 (25:52):
I don't know. Why do you know him?
Speaker 4 (25:54):
I don't know. I was worrying of you might know him.
Speaker 3 (25:56):
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (25:57):
Maybe who have you been friends with for about it
worked for us. I'm just saying, it's.
Speaker 3 (26:03):
So funny, Like on TikTok, You're like tik and I
was like, this is so weird. Why are all these
psychics coming there? Like you will find the man. He
is right in front of you. He's trying to call you,
but he can't call you in his hand. His phone
is in his hand, and I'm like who what? I'm like,
is she real?
Speaker 1 (26:22):
Wait?
Speaker 2 (26:23):
Let's play a lightning round. We're all going to answer.
First question is should men pay for the first date?
I say absolutely, yes, yes, yes, yes. How long till
you text someone after a date? Three day rule?
Speaker 4 (26:36):
Question mark that evening right away? I agree immediately.
Speaker 2 (26:40):
I think I think once you leave them, be like,
that was an amazing night. Do you want the does
the girl text or the guy text first?
Speaker 4 (26:48):
Whoever is the adult? What I'm saying, where is the adult?
I want to say, we're all in here forty fifties,
and when you got time for this crap to be
playing around? I'm a grown ass man. You're a grown
ass woman. If you like me, till me.
Speaker 1 (26:59):
I ain't got time for games. Guys.
Speaker 3 (27:05):
I'm at the restaurant.
Speaker 2 (27:06):
I'm helping a lot of nice girlfriends right now with
their responses. I'm like, no, just text them Backstop waiting.
Why are you waiting? There's no point of waiting. Just
be like I had a lot of fun, swinky face,
you know, like thank you.
Speaker 1 (27:17):
TJ told me one time he was like, the biggest
mistake y'all make, meaning us girls, is that you think
we want to chase you.
Speaker 3 (27:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:23):
Yeah, you want to get the text too, Like I
appreciate the text.
Speaker 4 (27:28):
And if a guy doesn't appreciate that text and does
the right thing with it, you don't need to be
with them in the first place.
Speaker 2 (27:32):
How long till you're intimate?
Speaker 1 (27:37):
I mean for me, there wouldn't be a rule.
Speaker 4 (27:40):
For me.
Speaker 1 (27:41):
It would be when I felt like I wanted to be.
Speaker 4 (27:43):
I don't want to hear that from your girlfriend there's
no rule.
Speaker 2 (27:45):
Well, well, there are rules in place, they say, they
say like the third day or is you.
Speaker 1 (27:53):
Know, I think whenever you're feeling it.
Speaker 4 (27:55):
And yeah, this is another we're grown folks. Yeah, and
you can make whatever decision you want to.
Speaker 2 (28:01):
I think if someone is going because some people say like, oh, well,
if you give it to them right away, I'm like, no,
if the guy just wants that, then you're going to
know that right off the bat, you know, So.
Speaker 1 (28:11):
Why buy the cow if you're getting the milk for free?
I mean, come on, who grew up?
Speaker 3 (28:15):
I heard that growing on?
Speaker 4 (28:16):
I did.
Speaker 3 (28:16):
It's so dominicing.
Speaker 2 (28:17):
Actually absolutely, I think younger maybe that is more, but
when you're older, it's like, Okay, you're gonna I would
hope that it's not the case where.
Speaker 3 (28:29):
I think it's just more so. It's just it's so
difficult dating in general, and like for my kids, they're
in their twenties, and for me, it's just dating is
just really really hard, and there's just so much expectation
and like, you know, what do you want to do
in life? What's going to happen? And people have had
so many issues in the past, and you know, I
(28:50):
just I am just very open and like easy going.
If I like something, I'm just like I like you, right?
Speaker 2 (28:58):
Is ghosting? Is ghosting very acceptable? And have you guys
been ghosted before?
Speaker 3 (29:04):
I have No.
Speaker 1 (29:05):
I don't think it's acceptable. And I have not been
ghosted and I have not ghosted anyone.
Speaker 3 (29:11):
I was accused of ghosting, but it wasn't like that
I was actually ghosting. I was just way for the week,
working and I'm just kind of like, I'm kind of
you were busy. Now, well, I'm also like when I'm working,
I'm like work, I'm trying to like stay focused on
what I'm doing. I can't. And you know, it's like
you get. I mean when I was I was, when
I was on Housewives like people, they would be screaming
at me, like you don't respond. I'm like, I'm filming.
(29:32):
I'm getting yelled at, like just stop, give me two minutes.
Speaker 4 (29:35):
Like I didn't ghost you. I was just busy. That's
why I was busy.
Speaker 3 (29:41):
I mean, I was getting yelled and screamed down. I'm like,
oh my god, I'll call you in a minute.
Speaker 4 (29:44):
I know, Jenn, I have not, and I think it's
never acceptable. I mean, somebody the decency of a response.
Speaker 2 (29:51):
Right, I mean, I I agree, but I will have
to say, probably in my twenties dating in Los Angeles,
I'm sure I ghosted that. I'm almost one hundred percent
positive I've been ghosted. I'm sure I've ghosted, but post divorce.
Speaker 3 (30:05):
You're so beautiful.
Speaker 2 (30:05):
Oh, I've been ghosted many times and even posted like
post divorce ghosted many times from like, well not many times.
There was two guys I can think of that ghosted
me on Riah. We were supposed to meet at the
Soho house and then they never ended up showing up. Yeah,
and he was like a pretty like known person too.
(30:26):
And I'm like so yeah, you never heard a response
from response that was just the one awful. But I
will not say it is. I will not say who
it is. But but yeah, so I don't. But I
said post divorce, like, I will be very uh mindful
and respectful about saying I don't feel like this is
(30:48):
going to go anywhere. This isn't for me. So like
I would text and say like this one person, like, hey,
I had a lovely time with you, and I could
tell that they would want to hang out again. But
I said, for me, this, this isn't what I'm looking for.
And then what was frustrating Some guys would be like
but I was still like another chance, why don't you.
I'm like, I don't have you know what I mean, Like,
I'm like I've said please see above.
Speaker 3 (31:06):
Basically I just want to.
Speaker 2 (31:10):
Like sometimes they don't even accept the response. But even so,
I knew I did the right thing by at least
so I grew in that aspect because I'm pretty sure
I've got.
Speaker 3 (31:18):
That's a good thing. I should say that if there's
someone that I like, I should.
Speaker 2 (31:21):
Say because I'm a mom too, it needs to align
with my family, you know, Like I'm not like I
used to appease and go out and second dates when
I knew it wasn't the thing. But now older, I'm like,
this is a this is not I'd rather be here
with my children. This is a waste of everyone's time. Yes, yeah, yeah,
well that was that lightning round over.
Speaker 4 (31:39):
You guys on I was enjoying that.
Speaker 3 (31:42):
I like. I like the from like you know, from
the I like the responding. I like what you were saying,
Like I like what everyone is saying. Just like to
respond and like be the adult in the room and just.
And I need to also be more like adult with
with with texting too. I'm not a good texture, so
I need to be more just. I'm not either, are
just really good at it. Like I'm on my phone
so much for work that the last thing I want
to do is like text someone like I just you know,
(32:05):
it's psych a lot.
Speaker 2 (32:16):
Wait, I have one more. I'm sorry, what is your
what is everyone's deal breaker?
Speaker 4 (32:21):
Smoking?
Speaker 3 (32:23):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (32:23):
Period?
Speaker 2 (32:24):
Have you ever smoked before? Never been a smoking never,
never smoked one cigarette?
Speaker 4 (32:28):
Oh yeah cigarette before in life. But if somebody was
an actual smoker, it's just not we are not going
to work out, and I don't care who it is.
Speaker 3 (32:35):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (32:36):
A deal breaker for me is anyone who has anger issues.
I just I can't deal with the yelling and the
name calling. I'm over that in my life completely. So
that's a deal break.
Speaker 4 (32:46):
And if it's an angry smoker she's really smoking, is.
Speaker 1 (32:49):
High on my list?
Speaker 2 (32:50):
Yeah, yes, yeah, mine would be. I've got to just because.
And I'm not saying if you cheat, you can't fix
your relationship, but for me, knowing how I react now
in this situations and given my past, I couldn't be
in a relationship if someone cheated again. And then any
any sort of abuse, whether it's insinuating aggression, getting in
(33:11):
my face or actual physical touches, You're out.
Speaker 3 (33:14):
I could not agree more. I think fatas physical touch
is absolutely out. Anger is absolutely out. I just will
not put up with that.
Speaker 4 (33:22):
Kelly, can you tell folks because some are gonna folks
are want to hear this, and there're gonna be some
guys who might be interested in you. They are going
to hear this, and they might not jump on Rya.
Maybe they just wow, do I have a shot at Kelly?
What what is the you said? You don't text, you
don't like the text? You're not good on text? How
should What is the right way to court Kelly?
Speaker 2 (33:44):
Yeah, just ask me out and slid into your DMS.
Speaker 4 (33:48):
Does that work?
Speaker 2 (33:48):
So my husband got me that way. I love that.
Speaker 3 (33:53):
Yeah, please don't sign them to my DMS.
Speaker 2 (33:55):
I feel like it's better than RYA though. I've got
to be honest with you. Instagram is like the better
dating app I think. Yeah, I would just say be
open to it.
Speaker 3 (34:02):
I just get so many weird people doing so many
weird things.
Speaker 2 (34:05):
Well, you got to make sure they're like got a
little verified check.
Speaker 1 (34:08):
We need the little blue check mark, not a paycheck either, Like.
Speaker 3 (34:12):
No, like I don't know you, Like I try to
be nice, but I'm like, oh god, I guess you know,
just if you knew someone that I knew, just to
give me some comfort, because like, like when we talked
about that before, like trust is really important to me,
and so just for me to like feel like I'm
you know, like you're not trying to like use me
(34:33):
is like that's just like my big thing too. I
mean outside of like you know, aggressive behavior like aggression
towards your your exes or any anything like that, but
just feeling like I'm being used just just not like
I've had so many guys be like, oh, yeah, I'm
with Kelly, you know, like Kelly'll handle the reservation or
Kelly'll do this. I'm like, oh, who's Kelly? Like you
(34:55):
want to be?
Speaker 1 (34:56):
I mean, doesn't every woman. I don't want to speak
for everyone, but I'm going to say it anyway and
just ask you too what you think. Don't we all
just at the end of the day, no matter how
much money we have or how much success we've had,
don't we just want to be taken care of?
Speaker 2 (35:10):
Yes, you guys. I had this guy post divorce where
he took me on a nice little weekend getaway and
at the very end he goes, hey, do you mind
posting this? And I go and I said I and
I knew exactly what was coming. And I said, what
do you mean why? And he goes, well, because if
you post, we get it for free.
Speaker 4 (35:25):
And I was like, oh, no, no, no.
Speaker 1 (35:28):
No, yeah that's awful, Like yeah, let me, that's horrible.
Speaker 2 (35:32):
But then my problem is I continue dating this person
like that's like, but those are things that now you see.
Then I'm like, you know, but I'm like, that's you
don't want to you want someone to take care of
you and not take advantage of you.
Speaker 3 (35:44):
Yeah, there you go.
Speaker 4 (35:45):
Yeah, you'll always say she says it all the time.
It's just amount of safety. You just make me feel serious.
It's not just financial, just emotional safety.
Speaker 1 (35:52):
Emotional safety.
Speaker 4 (35:52):
I feel like somebody's got you in that way, so
that that's nuts. That's where are you'll finding these dudes?
Speaker 3 (35:58):
What is wrong with us? At TJ okay exactly.
Speaker 4 (36:04):
That's crazy. Nothing's wrong with y'all. Something sometimes is terribly wrong.
Speaker 2 (36:07):
We want to Yeah, I think we hold on to
people because we think maybe that's our best shot and
that's the only person out there. But it's not. But
it's not, it's not. And we're so excited to have
Kelly be a part of our celebrity mentor team on
I Do Part two. We know our single listeners are
going to learn so much from you. So if you
are single and ready to find love again, call us
one eight four four four I Do Pod. That's eight
(36:28):
four four four four three six seven six three or
email us at I dopod at iHeartRadio dot com and
obviously follow us on Instagram at I Do Part two Pod.
I Love That Love You this is so fun. This
is it's like the biggest screat and now I just
want everyone to be happy and and love and have
the heart sing with you guys.
Speaker 3 (36:46):
Oh my god, you guys. You are You're like a
huge hug. I love you, guys.
Speaker 4 (36:50):
Look, we can't say it enough. You've said a lot
of kind words to us here, and look, I will
be honest with you. That my first introduction to you.
I read plenty, But the first time I've ever saw
you on television was when I watched Season three, episode twelve,
which was the.
Speaker 1 (37:04):
Scary Eye Island episode SYE.
Speaker 4 (37:06):
So that was my first exposure to you. It was
a wild scene. But then you walked into this place
and you were the warmest, the big smile, big hug.
So I I know you say that's authentically you, but
it's unfortunate sometimes people think that you're a caricature or
that's only you. We're seeing you sit here and talk
passionately and authentically and with tears in your eyes about life.
(37:29):
You're just going through with like everybody else. So we
thank you for your words, and it's a pleasure to
get to meet you here.
Speaker 3 (37:35):
But you're with me on Scary Island. You would have
been like, wait, what is going on? You'd be like, Kelly,
give me one of those comming bears.
Speaker 1 (37:41):
I mean, you're you and you still are a single
mom who you're a mama mama bear like so many
of us are. And yes, you'd like to protect your heart,
but more importantly you want to protect your daughter's hearts.
And so you can see that, you can feel that
that is true and real. And I guess any advice
for anyone who wants to date you is they need
to make sure your to the loves of your life. Yes,
(38:02):
are okay with him first? That's probably the biggest test
they have to pass, yes, one.
Speaker 3 (38:07):
Hundred percent, Because I mean, don't you want like one big, happy,
fun family and there's there's and it's just so easy.
It's so easy to do. I think that sometimes like
men or women to like they create drama so that
there's energy towards that person. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no,
this is like this is a unit. We want the unit.
(38:27):
We don't want, you know, like fractured. We want it
to be one big unit. So that's what I'm looking
for my missing piece.
Speaker 2 (38:33):
Well, we're excited. The listeners are going to be so
lucky to have you be a mentor, so thank you.
I'm excited You're going to find love in the process
with them.
Speaker 3 (38:42):
I'm gonna be crying. I'm gonna be fining love. It's
going to be like this huge journey for me.
Speaker 4 (38:47):
It's like, at the end of that, you end up
in a relationship, end up married.
Speaker 2 (38:52):
We need to get on a group message so you
can tell us anything so we can be like no
red flag, Nope, we gotta help. We gotta help you too,
So here we go.
Speaker 3 (39:00):
I was I was actually supposed to be with Luan
right now. She's on a dating show in Cowbo and
I was supposed to be giving her advice today and
then and I was thinking to myself, like, what if
I met one of the guys and I was interested
in that.
Speaker 2 (39:12):
What if it was a client?
Speaker 3 (39:14):
Is that a no?
Speaker 1 (39:15):
No?
Speaker 3 (39:16):
So I actually met one client who was really attractive,
who was so great, and I just said I was
honest with them. I was like, you know, I my
reputation is everything, and so you know later on, but
not while you're working. I can't do it.
Speaker 1 (39:28):
Sometimes you can find love at work, I was sae let. Yeah,
just letting you know that that is actually a great
place sometimes to meet someone.
Speaker 3 (39:36):
But I feel like in my business, because it's a
transaction business, you can't. I mean, if you do start
down that, it's a very slippery slope. And I just
trust is everything, and I want my clients to feel
like they are getting there you know that I'm there
for them in that financial transaction and if later on
something happens like I'm open to that, but not while
we're in the middle of, you know, dealing with their money.
Speaker 4 (39:58):
Thank you for saying transaction, because John, I'm meant to
ask you. I know we're wrapping here, but we talked
about protecting your finances right with the free nup? How
do you do women? Do you protect your heart? How
do you go about that? You talk about that step
you want to take because I got to protect what
I've built. Are women so often trying to protect their heart?
And does that get in the way sometimes possibly under community?
Speaker 3 (40:21):
Yeah, I don't know if it's so much heart. I
think it's just like there's so much more ego now
than there ever has been.
Speaker 2 (40:27):
Yeah, And I think just the ego, it's just as
a hego is there to protect your protection is first
and foremost my babies, Like that's I'll always protect my family,
and then I feel like I'm kind of second to that.
But yeah, I don't know. I mean, I think we've
definitely I'm so scared of for me personally, the unsteadiness
of things and fearful of what could happen because it's
(40:51):
what I've been used to. But I think now it's
like I have to just lean into trusting that it's
a different situation and to open my heart up to
know that this isn't it's going to be the same
thing because this is a different person and I don't
have to mirror that.
Speaker 1 (41:04):
Yeah, I agree, and and yes, I think TJ. We
all do try to protect our hearts, but it can't
be at the cost of the other person's. I think
that's the big that's the big takeaway. But you know what, Kelly,
we're looking forward to. We love weddings here, so we
are looking forward to celebrating yours.
Speaker 3 (41:20):
At the end of all of this.
Speaker 1 (41:22):
That's I mean, the one that actually happens.
Speaker 3 (41:24):
I would you know, It's like it's so funny because
the wedding business is so huge, and it's like I
would love to I will be married. I will get married, Yes,
you will. I think like next year is a very
big year for me. I'm feeling very very like, well,
just because I'm I'm gonna put the work.
Speaker 1 (41:38):
In, you're manifesting.
Speaker 2 (41:40):
Wait, actually have someone for you? I think that. Yeah, wait,
can on sidebar kind of set you up potentially? Okay,
I think it would be great.
Speaker 1 (41:49):
All right, that's just the beginning, okay of setups and
potential new romances and.
Speaker 3 (41:56):
First putting the work in. You have to at the
work in. You have to know what your bandwidth is
and you have to put the work in. You can't
just be like, yeah, I'm open and available. You have
to put the work in. Amen to that.
Speaker 4 (42:08):
If you are single and ready to find love again,
call us at one eight four four four I Do Pod.
That's eight four four four four three six seven six three,
or you can email us at idopod at iHeartRadio dot com.
That's idopod at iHeartRadio dot com. Or you can follow
us on Instagram at I Do Part two Pod. That's
(42:31):
I Do Part two. That's the digit two in the
middle of there. I Do Part two Pod and iHeartRadio
Podcast where Falling in love is the main objective
Hosts And Creators
Amy Robach
T.J. Holmes
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