February 14, 2025 • 49 mins
As a finale to our Love Stories series…the questions are turned on Amy and T.J.!
Amy and T.J. recap all their interviews sharing what couple surprised them most, what they related to and what advice they’ll be using.
Plus, when Amy and TJ are in the hot seat they answer the questions asked to all the other couples! Who’s more likely to start a fight? How do they manage their finances? How do they keep the romance alive?
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hey, there are folks in this episode. Contrary to a
popular belief, marriage doesn't suck, and we have the couples
to prove it. Welcome to this special cupling season edition
of Amy and TJ Rhodes. We started this out and
it was supposed to be just a fun exercise we
were excited about and I am so serious right now.
(00:24):
This turned into something else for me.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
It really did. This was about talking to happy, successful
couples leading up to Valentine's Day.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
We didn't know how happy they were leading in.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
Wait, that's true, that's true, But that was the premise
that we wanted to talk to successful couples, not just
couples who lasted, but couples who were happy to be
together even after all the years. And we just thought
it might be a nice nod to Valentine's Day and
to true love. But wow, not only did we connect
commiserate with these couples, but we were also inspired by them.
(00:56):
And there was a comfort in finding similarities and shared
experiences and knowing you're not alone when you face problems
in a relationship. But it gives you a sense and
a source of comfort that even when you have the
bumps in the road, so does everybody else. It doesn't
mean or spell disaster. I think that was a really
(01:17):
fun takeaway for me to see that everybody has mess
and it's just how you handle it.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
Well, that's what we know. Everybody has mess, But for
whatever reason, we look at everybody on Instagram and think
they don't like we're trying to compare ourselves, oftentimes to
another couple that we don't know a damn thing about
because it looks good on the surface. This was cool
to see and a lot of these folks do look
good on the surface. But when you start asking, and
we asked them all the same was the question that
you start delving into. Yes, they ran into some hell
(01:46):
and they've been through some things. And to your point,
we talk about this all the time with I guess
people in the public eye who go through something, oftentimes
it's if it's illness, they come out and they're open
about it and they talk about it, and you have
this ground swell of people saying, Wow, that helped me
because I'm going through it too. I've never really thought
about that. Relationships, you know, that's what happens.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
That is a really good point. It is the same
thing when people talk about their problems or they talk
about the not so great moments, everyone else'll say, oh
my goodness, you too, and it just it's comforting and
it's also inspiring because when you see how they handle
the problems, and it's not always perfectly, but every time
you don't do it right one time, you'll do it
(02:28):
better than next, hopefully if you're in it with the
right person who's also in it. I think the teamwork
aspect of it was really exception.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
The team was a theme. And I have to tell
we've talked about this privately, but I could say it
here publicly. Now. I feel so much better about our
relationship after going through and talking to all of these couples,
not as a matter of we got it better than.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
Anybody, Oh we're we're not comparing.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
Not that kind of a thing, but to hear so
many of the nuggets, to hear that we've gone through
the exact same things, and to see them come out
and be happier, and also to see how they have
argued and fight and gotten through things we have done
things similar, So I wow, Wow, we're actually doing something
right even when things aren't great.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
That is so true. I felt the exact same way.
And it's cool you made that connection to cancer journeys
because it's so true when you're going through something hard,
to see someone else who's gone through something similarly difficult
and come out on the other end with a smile,
that is sometimes all the inspiration you need to keep going.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
So those were kind of at least for me, this
turned into something I didn't expect, and that's wonderful. To
the point, I can't wait to do this again. I
would love to continue talking to couples. So we had
these were our couples, and some of them we did
have a little history with and some we had no idea, Oh,
hadn't spent any time with them. So this was our
list of couples. Trista and Ryan Sutter twenty one years
(03:55):
strong after meeting on the Bachelorette. Of course she was
the og. Tristan Tamer and Eddie Judge married eleven years.
You know them, of course from Real Housewives. And then
you had Samantha Greenstone and Jacob Hoff. You might not
know those names newlyweds. They are a mixed orientation couple.
He's gay, she's straight, and they are in a monogamous marriage.
That was an interesting one to talk all right.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
Then we had doctor Jeff Gardier and doctor Amber Brody.
We of course knew this couple. We were at their wedding.
They're newlyweds, but they've been together for more than a decade.
And oh, by the way, they have a twenty seven
year age difference. He's black, she's white, she's Jewish he's not.
That was really fun to hear how they handle all
(04:37):
of those differences beautifully, by the way. Then we had
Jenna Kramer and Alan Russell. We know Jana very well.
They were engaged after just six months and there was
literally an ocean between them. And this was Jenna's fourth
marriage his second. So this is a couple that we
were looking to for some answers. Mike and Lauren Sorrentino.
Mike the situation seven years married and their first year
(04:59):
of marri marriage was with Mike in prison. That's remarkable.
Then we have Peta Murgatroyd and Max Schermot. Oh my gosh,
I knew I was gonna get this wrong.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
Max. She always tells me, if you're listening, she always says, no,
I got it. I can hand this last and it's
all we have to say it.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
Max Schmerkovsky when we were in Warning America to say
their names all the time from Dancing with the Stars,
So Peta Murgatroyd and Max Schermovsky perhaps the funniest of
our interviews. They've been married for eight years. And then
Jenny Garth, who also is a friend of ours, and
her husband Dave Abrams. They've been married for ten years,
but there was a year long separation and divorce papers
(05:37):
in the mix of their marriage.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
Who surprise you most in this career or maybe intrigued
you most because we have a little background, a little
some kind of a baseline or foundation idea of these couples.
But what jumped out? Who jumped at it?
Speaker 2 (05:52):
I think Mike the situation in Lauren, because I didn't
realize everything they had been through, that they've known each
other for twenty one years, that they were dating and
then broke up for what five years plus while he
was on Jersey Shore. Then they get back together, and
then he goes to prison just to hear not just
what they went through, but where they are today. And
(06:12):
he had so many incredible nuggets that I was writing down.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
I think that's fair surprise, because there's something if I say,
anybody hear that, we say Mike the situation, you immediately
jumped to some conclusion about him from what you know
of that show, from what he was on Jersey Shore,
And if you didn't know he was married, you might jump, oh,
he must have met her and he was on the
show something. This is totally different what we got out
(06:37):
of them. That might have been the biggest surprise because
I went in with expectations that I shouldn't have had.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
Yep, yeah, I was gonna ask you. Did anyone else
surprise you besides Mike and Lauren.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
I think the mixed orientation couple, Samantha and Jacob. Again,
you folks will get into more of it, and we
encourage you to go listen to that interview we had
with them, but I think you hear it and Okay,
he's gay, she's straight, and they're in a monogamous relationship,
so immediately you go, what the hell. But the thing
that shocked or surprised me most they're just like us.
(07:07):
It doesn't matter who you are, where you're from, even ages.
Every single person, including a couple that seemingly that abnormal.
If you will only say, abnormal because it's not normal
out there in society is just as normal as you
and I and the things they deal with, the hopes
they have, the fights they have around the house, they're
(07:31):
the exact I was really really thrown by that.
Speaker 2 (07:33):
That was so cool to hear and see just how
everybody faces the same stuff. It was really cool.
Speaker 1 (07:42):
Okay, a lot of it was do you have a
standout response that you got from anybody along the way
something that jumped out was like, Holy hell, this dude's
crazy or this lady's funny, or there were several hilarious
moments throughout. Was there any response that jumped out at
you a three year and again all these interviews.
Speaker 2 (08:01):
Well, I look, there are so many things that jumped out.
I loved hearing in our Kevin McHale and Austin McKenzie
interview because we have struggled with this. They're not married,
and so they were trying to decide, you know, is
he my boyfriend? Is he my husband? To see my partner?
And Austin said, Kevin is my person because it's more
(08:22):
than all of those things. And he said, it's my
person who I'm committed to. And so instead of when
they're fighting him, thinking wait, is this not my person?
He's like, no, I've made a decision to be committed
that this is my person, and I'm trusting that the
best moments that I know we've had get us through
the not so best moments because he is my person.
(08:44):
I just I love that commitment that didn't require anything
beyond that.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
We're going to see them later. We really really hit
it off with those guys. They were awesome. We look
forward to that so again, we hope you listen to
them as well. But this was a list we had
with thirty five forty questions. We didn't get to all
of themm sometimes because some of the answers were a
little more long winded than others. Did you find as
well that it seemed like most of the guys were
doing more talking than the women.
Speaker 2 (09:10):
You know what, It was really fascinating to see that,
and I actually was laughing. I get this because sometimes
when we do podcasts, I learned something about you. I
watched the women listening to the men saying, wow, I
didn't know you thought that, I didn't know you felt that.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
Why do you think that is because a lot.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
Of times we don't say what's on our mind. Maybe
it's because we're afraid to, we're embarrassed to. We don't
know what the reaction is going to be, And somehow
it feels safe, hilariously on a podcast in front of
thousands and thousands of people, but you feel like you're
in a safe space with another couple who will understand
where you're coming from. So I just saw a lot
of honesty and a lot of openness that maybe wasn't
(09:49):
even shared in private moments.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
I was going to say, most of the women were saying, Wow,
I didn't know that because this is the first time
the guy really got a chance to talk.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
Oh that's funny. That could be true too.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
Though No, we say that kind of jokingly, not as
an insult here. But we had several women who are
the stars, if you will, at least the TV personality,
the big personality used to talking in front of folks.
Some of the guys I expected to be quiet. We
couldn't get him stuff like though Ryan Ryan, Ryan was
he might be my number one and all this. I
(10:19):
enjoyed Ryan. So Trista's's a husband so much because I
again an expectations game. He's the quiet guy he's usually
in the background. Through all these years, you don't hear
a lot from him. He sat down, he was the
most insightful, interesting, funny, but still quiet if you will,
in the way he has a quiet demeanor, right, but
he was incredible, but just it seemed like, I'm not
(10:43):
sure he has said anything. He needs to get off
his chest. But you were right about We took a
couple of interviews in before we realized, you know what,
We're getting some great stuff. And it might be because
they're sitting across from another.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
Couple and they feel safe, and they feel like this couple,
either she or he is going to understand where I'm
coming from. So it won't just be a me versus her.
It will be us talking about problems that we all
have and it feels safe. It's funny you mentioned the
men speaking up and being really insightful. It might have
been from years of listening. And I'm not even kidding.
(11:16):
I was thinking about that. I always know I need
to listen more, But when you sit there and you
listen again, they were so I need to listen more,
That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (11:27):
Wait, how do you determine that you need to listen more.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
What all I'm saying is watching the men speak up
okay and really have these incredible golden nuggets. Not that
the women didn't, but they really did have some cool
things to say. I had that thought in my head,
probably from all the years of listening. You gain a
lot of insight when you aren't talking. I'm giving myself
(11:49):
this advice.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
Okay, so, but you're saying the only thing coming out
of the men's mouths. They didn't come up with those
thoughts on their own. They had just been listening for
a long time and then they collected it.
Speaker 2 (11:59):
No, I think they know. I think they've listened to
what's happened. They've observed what's going on, and they've made
that insightful determination in their mind and they just haven't
articulated it yet until this moment, because oh wow, because
they didn't have the opportunity.
Speaker 1 (12:12):
To And you think that you could this is an
area you could improve. Oh of course, really, Oh I
think you're a great listener.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
I do really, huh, I don't believe you.
Speaker 1 (12:25):
I'm glad we didn't have to get asked some of
these questions. Most of them we would have been okay,
but we started with this was a nice icebreaker that
was on our list. We asked everybody give us three
words to describe your relationship. I think most people I
think honesty and theme. You know, Contentment was a theme
as well. It doesn't sound romantic, but.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
Fun was a big theme. A lot of people said
fun that is how they would describe their relationship. Yes,
and content. It doesn't sound sexy necessarily, but when you
go through enough of life, that sounds awesome.
Speaker 1 (12:55):
Who said I love you first? Was a fun question,
and I think overwhelmingly it was the It was yes,
end up saying who said I love you? Okay, of
course I did. This question was interesting. I got great
insights on this one. Why did you want to be
married again? A lot of people will look at that, Hey,
it's just a piece of paper. Who kids is not
going to change anything, or people think, oh, it's going
to change us too much. There were some great answers
(13:17):
to that question.
Speaker 2 (13:17):
Yes, I think people not only Some of them said
that it was they were traditional people and they value
the tradition of marriage. Other people said they liked the
idea of commitment in front of friends and family, that
that had power and just the whole idea of publicly
stating this is my person was an important part of it.
(13:39):
And other people said it was because of their kids.
Some of them had kids from previous marriages or had
had children before they got married and just thought that
that was a lesson or an example they wanted to
set for their children.
Speaker 1 (13:49):
Okay, And we asked about fighting. How often you fight,
do you what do you fight most about? We asked
about going to bed angry. That was a big debate
that a lot of people have out there about relationships.
Asked about the folks sex life, which we got a
lot of interesting and I guess more thoughtful answers and
grown up answers. I think is a way to They
(14:10):
were adulting in these answers like, yeah, we love that
have a better sex life. But there's a teenager on
this SI all teenager on that side of the.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
Way, right it was they just said, yeah, I believe
was it Ryan? When we said how is your sex
life change? She said, well, it's scheduled now or what's
what's the opposite of less spontaneous? But that is real
And I think people who are in long term marriages,
who have kids, it's nice to hear that even sexy,
hot couples who you see on TV, who imagine are
having sex marathons every day, are saying, yeah, we're like
(14:40):
not in that phase anymore. And it's okay. And I
will say all of them said that the sex was better,
that it was more meaningful, that it was not necessarily
the quality over quantity is what I believe.
Speaker 1 (14:52):
One person said, yeah, you gotta make account, all right.
So this was an absolute blast for us. So we're
gonna get into the nitty gritty here in a second. Now,
we're gonna tell you about the themes that emerged from
these couples, and they were obvious. It was consistent that
no matter who the couple was, there were certain things
(15:14):
that jumped out and you need to hear that make
these successful couples successful. Also, we'll get into some of
the surprises we got from a lot of the couples,
and we'll tell you what advice we heard from them
that we are going to be using ourselves. Welcome back
(15:37):
everybody to this special cuffing season episode of Amy and TJ.
We are recapping the Valentine's Day love stories that we
did with a number of couples. You can check out
all of those interviews. They're gonna be up in the
feed all in order here for you to see right now.
But we've been releasing one a day of the entire
month of February leading up to Valentine's Day, so we're
(15:59):
kind of given recap of all those now. But Rhodes
I said, some themes did emerge. It doesn't matter young, old,
where they are, first marriage, second mayor there are certain
themes that did emerge.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
That's true. A lot of the couples that we talked
to that are successful and have lots of years under
their belts have said that they were in other relationships
when they first met. So this is a big thing, yes,
and so they had to pause, take some time get
out of those relationships before they actually entered theirs. But
that was a significant number of the couples. Tamra and Eddie,
(16:37):
I recall, were in that situation, what.
Speaker 1 (16:41):
Max and Peter were in that situation as well.
Speaker 2 (16:45):
Well, Trista was in a relationship with how many men
at the time she met Ryan. I mean, that's kind
of funny. Well, she didn't say I love you to
him while he was saying it to her because of that,
which is kind of funny.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
Well, I thought this was something that everybody needs to that. Again,
these are themes what makes us full successful. I think
so often I talk to people, and oftentimes it is
women who say I can't meet anybody while dating is
so difficult. Where do I go to meet people? Or
and talking about online you don't have to meet them.
Possibly he's there in your life right now and you
(17:15):
just haven't realized or recognized that. Think that is real, folks,
and y'all need to pay attention to that because it
showed up in these relationships. And a lot of these
folks when they first meet, they don't meet. They meet innocently. Yeah,
they some of them met at work. They meet in
a way that's okay, Hi, how you doing it? Move
on and not even thinking about that person.
Speaker 2 (17:33):
A lot of people met at work that you just mentioned.
Pete and Max, they certainly did, and there wasn't sparks
at first. According to Peter, Jeff and Amber they met
at work as well and spent a couple of years
as just friends or at least eighteen months as just friends.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
And get this, folks, those two he used to help
her in her dating life.
Speaker 2 (17:49):
Yeah, he helped her with Jay dates and then she
actually made the first move and said, Hey, I'd actually
like to date you. So it goes to show someone
has to make that first move. But you can get
out of the friend zone.
Speaker 1 (18:04):
Yeah, and sometimes you don't even know it or realize
and you're not even trying to and it happens. That
absolutely jumped out at me. Another theme that was here,
and folks, be in a relationship, pay attention to this one.
And this one makes me nervous. Big breakups happen to
successful relationship.
Speaker 2 (18:19):
Big breakups happen, and it's good to know that if
the foundation is there, you will come back together. And
we saw that happen. Jenny and Dave stand out specifically
to me because they broke up for or they were separated,
I believe for almost a year and a half. He
had divorce papers that he had tucked in his truck
and drove around with them.
Speaker 1 (18:40):
Folks, serious, if this is one you need to listen to.
This was unbelievable. He literally had divorce papers for her
to sign and for a year plus, right, they were
in a little you know, the driver's seat in your car,
the back of the driver's seat has a little compartment
you can slide on the little pocket. They were there,
he said, for a year plus writing just riding around
as well.
Speaker 2 (18:59):
There and now well they've been back together for six
years and are so happy. So that's that's a cool
thing to know that it can get that bad and
if there still is that much love and a foundation there,
you can come back together. Mike and Lauren same thing.
They broke up four I believe it was five years
while the whole time while he's experiencing all of this
fame and a significant addiction problem as well at the
(19:22):
same time. But they came back together and now are
stronger than ever. They were really impressive to me.
Speaker 1 (19:28):
This made me nervous and that a while when az
oars coming like it's I don't and I'm suggesting that
everybody has to go through a breakup. But to hear
these couples talk about how these weren't just a weekend thing.
These were significant, like you say, years long sometime breakups,
and to hear how they found their way back to
each other, it's just not over. I guess there's some
(19:49):
passion in something you recognize sometimes and the timing ain't right,
and maybe it will be later. And I couldn't help
but think about our guy, Matt and Rachel, And I said,
when those two broke up, I said, man, I don't
know if they're done. We will see. They need a beat.
But it makes me hold out of hope for Ben
and Jen still, you know, oh I know.
Speaker 2 (20:07):
I mean, look, I told you I saw all the
headlines that Matt had taken down the breakup page, or
the posts that he made that everybody made so much.
He deleted that. So now that was the whole story.
So you never know, there's a glimmer of hope.
Speaker 1 (20:20):
They're not one of the couples we talked about.
Speaker 2 (20:22):
They're they're not. The other thing is all of these couples,
it seems, made it through something major, whether it was
a previous divorce or someone else's children or finances, you know,
their addiction.
Speaker 1 (20:36):
No, I'm saying you and I I when I see
couples that have gone through some kind of like trauma,
and they often see them that it's gonna make them
a break them and these couples it is an absolute
theme folks who have gone through trials like real, are
you talking about diction, We're talking about prison we're talking
(20:57):
like some I mean divorces from other folk folks, and
they've gone through and had to fight through something that
absolutely showed itself throughout these interviews.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
That brings me to something I wanted to say because
I wrote this down. Mike the situation said this, and
I love this. He said, going to prison basically they
had already dealt with so much together. It felt like
a muscle that they built up a foundation to fight
together and that they're a battle tested couple. He said,
we turned adversity into our own power. We use what
(21:30):
was meant to be used against us and turned it
into something to use for us. And I just thought
that was so cool. Had they both had such a
team mentality and it came through adversity, but.
Speaker 1 (21:43):
That it seems silly to say, but you this, folks,
he said, Yeah, by the time it was time for
me to go to prison, we were good. We could
handle that because we've already been through hell.
Speaker 2 (21:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (21:53):
He actually talked about it as if yeah, prison, Yeah,
we're good, we'll make it through this too. I loved
that idea, and I do, Babe, I think about that
with you. So many things that come up. I barely
even blink like, oh, yeah, we'll be fine. You have
any idea what me and Robot went through. Some people
think they have an idea, And then there's some people
who are in our families and saw the hell and
(22:16):
there was nobody on the planet that was on my
team other than you. Is what it felt like when
you go through.
Speaker 2 (22:23):
That with somebody what you got and when things aren't great,
if you have a problem, and of course Mike and
Lauren and all of these couples have issues that come up,
but when you remember that we made it through that,
and we made it through that time together, leaning on
each other, supporting each other, and trusting each other, that
to me, gets you through all of the tougher times
(22:44):
that maybe ahead.
Speaker 1 (22:45):
And you know what else was a theme again if
you want your relationship to be successful the successful couples.
Another thing that that that emerged as a theme. They
generally had the support of their friends and family. Now
a couple had an issue here or there, but they
did have a group around them that was supportable of
their relationship. That's it seems obvious, but that's key.
Speaker 2 (23:06):
It oh, it is key. And even a few of
them who said it first, there was some you know,
Tristan Ryan. When you meet on a reality show your mom,
they might think is this a good idea, But they
came around very quickly once they met the couple.
Speaker 1 (23:20):
So that was a cool thing we mentioned earlier. We
all we asked the question about sex, but this was
a theme as well. Aside from sex, a theme was
physical touch was important to everybody, even sitting on a couch,
they found themselves holding hands. And the other one was
when we are not in a good way, we're fighting,
several said, you know sometimes just the toes under the
(23:42):
covers in bed makes all the difference in the world.
Speaker 2 (23:45):
I so related to that. I have told you this,
even if we weren't or aren't in a good place,
if I just hold your hand and you'll just squeeze it,
we don't have to say anything. It's like, I know
we're not great right now, but I still love you
and you don't. Might you might not have the the
ability to say that out loud because you're still angry.
(24:05):
But a hand squeeze or yes, a little touch of
the foot, that is everything in those moments.
Speaker 1 (24:11):
And yeah, I think everybody said they're handholders. They walk
down the street and hold hands every.
Speaker 2 (24:14):
Single one when we asked we had we were on
zoom and some of these interviews they would hold up
and show us that they were actually holding hands while
they were talking and we didn't even see it. It's
pretty cool.
Speaker 1 (24:25):
Okay. This next one, folks, is huge if you want
your relationship to be successful. And this is one I
think robes that the couples reacted like very strongly too.
This is a major no no. You have got to
you have got the folks fight fair. Threatening to break up,
threatening to leave, threatening with I'm done, or threatening divorce
(24:47):
is an absolute no no.
Speaker 2 (24:49):
So in some of these couples it happened initially, like
in the first year or two of the relationship. One
of them was a runner. One of them was that
I'm done and when they saw how much of hurt
the other person. It seemed as though every one of
these folks, some people from the beginning, said we made
a pact that we were never going to curse at
each other, and we were never going to threaten to
(25:10):
leave or get divorced or to walk away unless we
meant it. And some of them learned that the hard
way by doing it once or twice and realizing this
is planting seeds of doubt that I won't be able
to unearth like they stay and.
Speaker 1 (25:25):
They do overwhelmingly. This is a sin. You just do
not do it. It cannot be done.
Speaker 2 (25:31):
And I will make a pact with you. And I
think we had something early on in our relationship where
I was wanting to leave, not leave the relationship, but
just leave, and you said, hey, you just looked at
me and said, if you walk out that door, do
not come back. And I knew you meant it, and
so I said, I think I'll stay. You did, you
did very calmly, but in fact, because you were so
(25:53):
calm with such a like an unraised voice, I knew
I was like, let me think if I really want
to do this or not. And honestly, it was a
good moment for me and I think for us because
we've never done that. I've never done that again, and
if we had to, Lisa, look, I love you or
I'm upset right now and I'm gonna leave it. I'm
gonna come back, but I just need some time. That's
something different than saying I'm done or I'm walking out,
(26:14):
and so I am so for that packed I think
it's a good thing for couples to make that packed.
Speaker 1 (26:20):
Oh okay, well i'll your accent for me.
Speaker 2 (26:22):
To make it's understood. It's understood.
Speaker 1 (26:26):
But it's just such a toxic one. And we watch
a lot of reality dating shows of some kind. How
many times do we see somebody go I'm done and
walk away. I'm done and walk away, and then they
come back I'm done. It's just it's it's a.
Speaker 2 (26:40):
Killer, and it's a it's a killer, and it and
it and it really does start to eat away at
trust and at that love.
Speaker 1 (26:48):
Oh, don't do it, folks. And that's a big we
should put that number on the list. Do not do that.
Speaker 2 (26:53):
That was one of the big and not like you
know it intellectually, but to hear these couples emphatically say
this is something we have made a decision not to
do together. I was on board one hundred percent.
Speaker 1 (27:03):
Another thing was time apart. Yeah, folks, don't see even
want it or need it.
Speaker 2 (27:08):
I was surprised by this because I thought perhaps we
were going to hear from these very busy, very like
successful couples that they are like I need my alone time,
I need my space, and none of them said that
the only the only two that kind of alluded to
it a little bit was Austin and oh my god, Kevin.
(27:30):
Austin and Kevin. When they decided to move in together
after six years of dating and not living together, Kevin
thought it would be good for him to give Austin
his own room just in case, and sometimes he sleeps
on the couch, and so just to give him that space,
because he said, Austin said, I know, I'm somebody who
needs alone time. It didn't seem like they took much
of it, but that was the only person who even
(27:51):
said maybe. Dave Jenny's Dave said, initially he needed alone time,
but now that he's matured, he doesn't. The golf, remember
all that, and the boy weekends and she was that
was the one thing they used to fight about. That
now it's just a non starter.
Speaker 1 (28:03):
And we can't no time away from each other like none,
like none.
Speaker 2 (28:10):
Do you need some you know?
Speaker 1 (28:11):
You remember I called you today. I had to leave
you for a short time. We're not used to doing that.
We used to listen together all morning. I had to
leave you for a short time and I called you,
Oh yeah, because I missed you and you sent me
a text of Hamil on the treap mill, just another
mile to gooh blah blah blah, and I said, you know,
I didn't want anything. I can't remember wh I.
Speaker 2 (28:27):
Was called, and I said, oh, you missed the sound
of my voice.
Speaker 1 (28:32):
There was nothing to talk about.
Speaker 2 (28:34):
I definitely and me who I thought I was before
I was in this relationship with you. I have said
I need alone time, I need my own space. I'm
not touchy feely. I don't like physical touch. I don't
hold hands. All of those things completely out the window.
Speaker 1 (28:55):
She's a keeper, right, she's a keeper. She sounds awesome.
I don't want to be touched.
Speaker 2 (29:00):
I would just say. I believe when you are with
the right person, all of those things you think about
yourself melt away because your number one priority is to
feel connected to this person who you love. And I
have experienced that now with you, and it makes me
happy to know that sometimes it is about having the
(29:20):
right person and then things do fall in place. It
doesn't mean that there isn't work, and there isn't a
lot of work that's involved in keeping all of that
alive and going. But I realized how important it is
to have the right partner.
Speaker 1 (29:36):
Well, I hope this is it. We'll see what we
make it through this breakup that's coming. Everybody comes back
from it a few surprises though here finance is not
an issue for anybody. That was a surprise to me.
Some people they choose to keep it all together, separated.
Some of them even complicated with some LLCs and all
of this stuff. But for the most point, nobody had
a finance issue.
Speaker 2 (29:56):
No, no, and Jenny Garth did discuss that there is
is a little bit of a challenge sometimes when the
woman makes more money than the man. There's some finessing
and discussions that actually had to take place for them,
because resentment starts to build when people don't discuss it.
That's when the problems happened. But it seemed like everybody
figured it out.
Speaker 1 (30:15):
He acknowledged that too, Yeah, yea, yeah, he completelynowledged there
wasn't immediate chemistry. That was a surprise as well. And
we talked about this. You didn't meet necessarily. Even if
you meet someone and you're not thinking you're going to
date them, they're still you think a spark happens. But
a lot of these folks said, no, I didn't.
Speaker 2 (30:30):
Yeah, a lot of the women said it didn't happen
for them, funny enough, the men all kind of said
that they did have a spot. Petere was like nah,
and Max is like, well, obviously I was, yes, I
thought you were. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (30:42):
Is it the women just not admitting it and protecting
themselves like you always say that? Sometimes you do.
Speaker 2 (30:46):
Possibly, But I also think that men might be more
visual and women it takes a little bit more for
you to kind of have that big spark. You want
to know someone's personality, you want to see if they're funny,
and all of those.
Speaker 1 (30:58):
The takeaway from there is that you don't have to
look across the room and see somebody who just gets
you going it. You actually can fall in love with
somebody and become wildly attracted to them through getting to
know them. Again. I'd go back to all these reality shows,
these dating reality shows. It's usually just a visual and
I'm into them. I'm not into them. But then some
(31:18):
of them that don't have anything in common. You don't
think it's oh, they don't have any chemistry. Three episodes later,
they're all over each.
Speaker 2 (31:24):
Other, and then we google them and find out they
have three kids, and we're like wow, that's amazing. But
I think a lot of folks what we heard from
a lot of these couples is that friendship is the
number one foundation. Yeah, number one foundation, And we've heard
that a lot from people. But it was evident each
of these couples just what we got the advantage of
(31:44):
watching them, and there was an energy between all of them.
It didn't matter if they'd been together for twenty one
years or ten years, but these are all tried and
true couples. There was a friendship and there was a
camaraderie and there was this swe eat team like energy
between them that I can't even I can't I don't
even have words to describe, but it was there.
Speaker 1 (32:06):
You can't fake it all, and you can't fake it.
You cannot sit with your loved, the one of your
spouse and answer questions that you have. They didn't. I
give all of them credit. They had no idea what
the questions were and sat there and when they came out,
they look at each other and then the answers would
come out. And you have to have a level of
comfort and confidence in your relationship and the person you're
(32:26):
sitting next to to do that. I don't know if
i'd do that with you. But we're going through here
in just a minute. One last thing I want to
get to about the surprises the last name change for
the married couples. There is no middle ground here. It
seems you are either all for it passionately or you
are absolutely against it passionately. At least when it comes.
(32:49):
The men are the ones who are passionately for it,
and then the women are the ones are passionately against it. Correct,
So where are we going to do?
Speaker 2 (32:56):
I don't know. I've never changed my name.
Speaker 1 (33:00):
Yeah, what are we going to do?
Speaker 2 (33:01):
I don't know. Okay, I told you the only thing
I'd be open for is a hyphenation.
Speaker 1 (33:05):
The only thing you'd be open for.
Speaker 2 (33:07):
Yeah, I wouldn't completely lose Robock.
Speaker 1 (33:09):
Ever, any Robock Holmes.
Speaker 2 (33:10):
That would be the only thing I'd be open to.
Speaker 1 (33:13):
The only thing you'd be this is a negotiation.
Speaker 2 (33:14):
Then, well, I'm just saying I wouldn't lose Robock.
Speaker 1 (33:17):
You don't have to lose Robocks.
Speaker 2 (33:19):
There you go.
Speaker 1 (33:19):
You don't I mean not in spirit, but.
Speaker 2 (33:24):
No, I mean I think that you are not actually
that what.
Speaker 1 (33:30):
You can't lose Robot, then I can't call you Robock.
I can't call you Rob then homes Robes homes No,
that's terrible. Well fuck, we had such a good time
with them. But when we come back where we have
our super producers in the room with us, we have
as always Andy, Emma and then Sydney's in the room.
They are going to ask actually turn the tables on
(33:51):
us a little bit here. We actually don't know what
they're going to ask. They pluck some questions from the ones.
I guess, what do you say? Turn about? It's fair play, yes,
and hit us with some of the ones we we
gave our couples. But then there are supposed to be
some extra ones in there as well that are rapid fire,
which is always fun. Oh can't wait, because I love
when somebody ask you a question, You just say the
first thing that pops in your mind.
Speaker 2 (34:10):
What could possibly go wrong?
Speaker 1 (34:11):
Stand by? Folks are right back? All right, we're back
folks on this special cuffing season edition of Amy and
TJ Robes. You nervous about answering questions about us?
Speaker 2 (34:29):
Not with you by my side?
Speaker 1 (34:30):
Okay, you know what. That's what we put all these
couples through. We did so. I don't know why I
don't I feel a little uncomfortable going into this. But
but yes, our our producing team here, Emma, Sydney and
Andy came up with some questions for us. Emma, all right,
give us your best.
Speaker 3 (34:48):
Let's warm up with this one.
Speaker 1 (34:50):
Easy stuff.
Speaker 3 (34:50):
Give three words to describe your relationship?
Speaker 2 (34:53):
Thank you today. Oh that's the first question we asked.
Oh that's a good one. We should have seen this
com I think about it, all right, I'll you want
to start.
Speaker 1 (35:03):
Well, I remember it was it last night. Sabine was
in the room. We talked about this. Last night. Sabine
was in the room with us in the bedroom. She
was on the couch. We're in the bed. Everybody's working.
We were working on something. You looked at me and
you said, you know, what three words would you use
to describe a relationship? Yes? Do you remember what I said?
Speaker 2 (35:20):
Something really smart ass? I said, on my nerves, that's
exactly that's exactly what he said.
Speaker 1 (35:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (35:26):
See, it was so annoying. I forgot it because I
chose not to having fun. I know, now you have
to be serious.
Speaker 1 (35:32):
Okay, all right, you said you had something.
Speaker 2 (35:34):
Okay, all right, I'll go so for me, fun one
hundred percent we are fun is an something that we
actually prioritize in our relationship. Committed. I feel like I'm
in this with you one hundred percent, and I feel
that we are fully committed and that creates a lot
(35:54):
of safety and satisfaction. And number three, I would say passionate.
Speaker 1 (36:04):
My three words would be still in shock.
Speaker 2 (36:10):
You.
Speaker 1 (36:12):
I say this to you so often in private. I
cannot believe we're together. We from where our lives started
to are growing up, to colleges to careers, to relationships,
to where we ended up working together. All that is
a fricking miracle that we are sitting here together right now.
(36:33):
So yes, I if I will forever be hopefully still
in awe of this relationship. So that was my serious
And say, y'all laughing, And did you.
Speaker 2 (36:42):
Just change it from still in shock to still in shaw?
Speaker 1 (36:45):
No, I said, I hope I remain in awe with
this relationship. I actually don't listen. Oh my god, we
were talking about this earlier week. Oh my god, you're
so right.
Speaker 2 (36:53):
Your three words were still in shock.
Speaker 1 (36:55):
Still in shock, I said, I remain I hope I
remain in awe of this relationship.
Speaker 2 (37:00):
I get that. I was just saying I love the words.
Speaker 1 (37:02):
Still in awe versus still in shock.
Speaker 2 (37:04):
Yes, awe is kind of like onspiring, like it's a positive.
Speaker 1 (37:09):
In shock could be terrible, But awe is something You
can be in awe of something that's still expected. You
can be in awe of a rose that's on the
damn street. You can be in awe of a puppy
that's going down the street. But for me TJ. Holmes
to end up in a loving relationship and want to
marry Amy Robach, I'm shocked.
Speaker 2 (37:31):
Okay, who's more likely to start a fight?
Speaker 1 (37:38):
Roebuck? How So, just like that by not acknowledging initially
that you're the one that usually.
Speaker 2 (37:45):
Starts to fight, but you're the one who gets angry.
Speaker 1 (37:47):
No, I don't, baby, I don't start fights. You know
I don't. I ask questions. So why were you twenty
minutes late to this important thing that I have? Why
am I a start a fight?
Speaker 2 (38:04):
Okay?
Speaker 1 (38:04):
You think I'm likely to start fights?
Speaker 2 (38:06):
I do?
Speaker 1 (38:07):
Well, it seems like Emma is most likely to start
a fight because we're two questions in.
Speaker 2 (38:14):
God, Okay, let's switch it up. How often do you
have sex?
Speaker 3 (38:19):
And has it changed? Or how has it changed over time.
Speaker 1 (38:23):
You want to answer, you want to answer, you can answer.
There is for me at least you guys are however
you want to. We are in the public eye. We
have a very public relationship. People are very curious about
our relationship, and we have answered plenty about it. There's
(38:43):
a necklace around your neck with a ring on it
that I don't know if I will ever reveal my
mindset and why in the message behind that ring. Sex
is another one that you know what. That's not something
I am going to address publicly. You can, but you
(39:05):
I don't feel I can, I should or I'm wanting
to speak on that intimate thing having to.
Speaker 2 (39:11):
Do with you.
Speaker 1 (39:12):
If you you can say whatever you want, run on
the mic right now and then I'll follow. But there's
something about it that always didn't sit right with me.
Speaker 2 (39:18):
I would just say, and we're what are we? Two
plus years into our relationship. All I can say it
is the best, most beautiful experience I have ever had
in my life, and it has only gotten better.
Speaker 3 (39:35):
Pretty solid.
Speaker 1 (39:37):
Oh, everybody's look at she's quiet, she's quiet, he's quiet,
You're quiet. Everybody's looking around. You want you want me
to comment on.
Speaker 2 (39:44):
Our sex one only if you want to, And it
doesn't sound like you do.
Speaker 1 (39:47):
No, it's you know, I think a lot of this
has to do We do cover so many celebrity couples,
and I think folks give a at least the public things.
Wait a minute, you told me this much, so then
when I ask this, you better damn sure tell me
this too. It's like some lines slippery slope, there's some
fine line. So I have always wanted to make sure
(40:09):
I drew up some line of some kind to say that,
you know what, there's some things that are private I
don't want to speak on, and that's one of them.
Speaker 2 (40:17):
Yeah, and that's cool. And we when we asked each
of the couples, we said, answer this however you'd like,
because it's something people are curious about. But we also
respect the fact that that is something that a lot
of people don't want to talk about.
Speaker 1 (40:31):
I'm one of them.
Speaker 3 (40:33):
Duly noted love Okay, how are you two keeping the
romance alive?
Speaker 1 (40:43):
There? Well, it depends on what feels romantic to you.
Speaker 2 (40:47):
But the.
Speaker 1 (40:49):
I think there are constant daily gestures or nuggets that
show that you love somebody. You don't have to say
I love you. You could go through a whole day
without saying I love you, and a person can fit
or more loved than ever by what you do. So
I do make a point of sending a note every
now and now and again, just randomly I love you,
(41:09):
thinking about you on my way cooking is something I
certainly like to do. The handholding and the touching, it's
constant with us. So the romance, I don't make an
effort necessarily to what do I need to come up with?
It stays there.
Speaker 2 (41:28):
I do.
Speaker 1 (41:29):
When you get up in the morning, you don't speak
to him, I say, hey, what the hell like? We
go right to work. You keep romance a lot and
saying hey, we need to remember that this relationship is first.
This podcast will get done. But you and I sacrificing
just giving a kiss or saying good morning so that
we can get to the podcast is not something that's yeah.
Speaker 2 (41:45):
And I think that's the only thing that we need
to remember and we do throughout the day, is because
we are working so often when we're together, we're working,
so to remember that we're a couple who is working together.
But I don't think it's that hard hard for us.
There might be an hour goes by and like, hey,
like I miss you, come over, like you know, and
then there's a touch or there's a kiss or there's
(42:06):
a hug. But it's it hasn't felt like work, and
it hasn't felt like something I had to remember to do.
It's something that I've still wanted to do. And I
feel it for you, and I hope you feel it
for me.
Speaker 1 (42:18):
That's all that I needed to hear. Thanks.
Speaker 3 (42:20):
How do you manage your finances? How do you decide
who pays for dinners, trips, groceries, et cetera.
Speaker 2 (42:26):
Yeah, we have. We have a joint account and so
that's we Initially we were struggling with it. Do you
remember we so badly wanted to get a joint immediately
so one person wasn't It just seemed like we were
past the point of saying it's my turner. TJ always
tried to pay for everything. In fact, the truth is
he would never let me pay for anything, which was
(42:46):
very sweet and I loved it, but I also knew
that that was not a way forward for us. So
it was.
Speaker 1 (42:55):
It was lovely while it lasted.
Speaker 2 (42:56):
But the point being, I remember we were being so
hounded by Papa Rozzi. We desperately were trying to get
to the bank to open a joint account together, but
we knew that they'd make a headline of it or
say something that it wasn't So I was on the phone.
We were calling trying to figure out how we could
open a bank account without going into the actual branch.
And we finally found a bank.
Speaker 1 (43:18):
But we could do it.
Speaker 2 (43:19):
We did not have to go in for the bank
we found, but my bank. I tried every back door
I could to not walk into the So it took
us a couple months, but we finally did get a
joint bank account. And so yes, we everything we do
together we have out of our join.
Speaker 3 (43:34):
What is one thing people would be surprised to know
about your relationship?
Speaker 1 (43:39):
Surprised to know about it? Hm, I don't know. I
something like folks know so much about us, so they
think they know about us, surprised to know. I think
it'd be surprised to know just how much we appreciate
not being out, like how much like it's there's a
picture here on a red carpet, there's out of a
(44:01):
nice restaurant, and all this stuff is going on. Man,
I just want to go home like, well, I am
completely content with you at the house. It's got to
be something better than that. As far as surprise, we
would know what you get.
Speaker 2 (44:12):
Well, I would say if I added up, and this
is true, the hours that we spent a part during
the week, I would say, on any given week minus
anytime we would travel apart, it's probably less than five
hours a week that we spend apart. Yes, oh maybe, sure, yes,
(44:33):
And that is pretty remarkable. Most people have separate jobs,
or separate lives or children pulling them in different directions.
And we really do everything we don't get any time before,
and that we're not just say oh we're always together.
We're actually always together.
Speaker 3 (44:50):
How are you spending Valentine's Day?
Speaker 2 (44:54):
Well, it's gonna be a party of three. Yes, we
have Sabine, Jay's daughter is coming with us to go see.
This is actually so exciting. I love this question. We
are going to see a rom com horror movie. There
is a mashed genre that I am so excited to see.
(45:14):
It's called heart Eyes. It's been well reviewed. We are
all in, so I get a little rom com and
then we both get a lot of horror. And it
sounds kind of like the most perfect Valentine's Day date ever,
especially with Sabine. We love having her with us.
Speaker 1 (45:31):
And the killer has he wears a mask and the
eyes are lit up and they have little hearts. That's
the idea.
Speaker 2 (45:37):
This is us made for us to watch on Valentine's Day.
Speaker 1 (45:41):
This is so good that that is our point. And
the Valentine's Days I have. I've already done the flowers right, yes, okay,
so the flowers are good. I have a wonderful gift
for you. It's so good it is.
Speaker 2 (45:54):
I have a really good gift for you too.
Speaker 1 (45:56):
Her birthday is just a week before Valentine's Day, which.
Speaker 2 (46:01):
It's a lot of gifts, dude, and Christmas was just
six weeks before, so.
Speaker 1 (46:06):
I had to I bought her. I had her gifts
for her birthday and for Valentine's Day, but we were
taking a trip for her birthday, and so I said,
you know what, you would love what I got you
for Valentine's Day, and you would want to take it
on this trip. So I switched it up. So your
Valentine's Day gift I gave you for your birthday, and
(46:26):
now your original birthday gift has become the Valentine's Day gift.
Speaker 2 (46:29):
That's happened, very funny.
Speaker 3 (46:31):
What was your birthday gift?
Speaker 2 (46:32):
A really hot pair of Nike running sneakers. But I
knew where everybody's mind was. Yes, but they are actual
running shoes with flames on them.
Speaker 1 (46:47):
And we were going to Vegas, and we were going
to run in Vegas, and I knew she want to
run on the strip and the new shoes, so I
called an autimal.
Speaker 2 (46:52):
It was perfect, perfect. I loved it all right.
Speaker 1 (46:55):
So this has made this has been fun. I'm not
I've told it to you privately, but talking to these
couples reassured me about our relationship and that we're doing
something right and that even when we're doing something wrong,
we're doing something right. So this has been a wonderful experiment.
I hope we can do it down there.
Speaker 2 (47:10):
I agree, and I was hoping. I am hoping that
everyone who has listened or who hasn't and is going
to I encourage you. We encourage you to listen along
with the questions and ask yourself, ask your loved one,
have fun with some of the questions, ask each other
what you think of the answer, because it really does
(47:32):
bring you closer together, and sometimes what you think your
partner is going to say, they don't and they surprise
you in a good way. We saw that happen time
and time again with the couples, some of them saying
they were more in love after the interview than they
were before because they learned something sweet or beautiful that
maybe the other person hadn't shared completely with them until now.
So anyway, it would be great if any of you
(47:53):
all listen to whatever one you want, but the questions
are basically the same, and I just think it's really
fun exercise maybe to even listen with your loved one
on this Valentine's month weekend week And we have.
Speaker 1 (48:06):
It right, Sydney, Andy, Emma. The all of the episodes,
all the interviews will end up on our feed, all
chunked together. Do I have that right, Sydney. They're gonna
go up to where they'll all be in line together.
They're there now, but we're putting them up for you
to where they are all in line. You'll see them
all together in our feed, so by all means, check
them out and again the ropes, Thank you Dave for
(48:27):
the This has been an absolute blast. So and I
do I can't say it enough. I feel more optimistic
and encouraged and feel better and more confident about I
didn't lack confidence. I feel more confident about us than ever.
Speaker 2 (48:39):
I one hundred percent agree. I felt the exact same way.
I already knew I loved you. I already knew I
wanted to spend my life with you. But now I
feel like we're not just gonna make it, but we're
gonna be great.
Speaker 1 (48:49):
Well, folks, we appreciate you as always for listening. I'm TJ. Holmes,
and this is Amy Robot and it will forever be
Amy Robot. That name will never change.
Speaker 2 (49:03):
You know me so well. M
Hey, there are folks in this episode. Contrary to a
popular belief, marriage doesn't suck, and we have the couples
to prove it. Welcome to this special cupling season edition
of Amy and TJ Rhodes. We started this out and
it was supposed to be just a fun exercise we
were excited about and I am so serious right now.
(00:24):
This turned into something else for me.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
It really did. This was about talking to happy, successful
couples leading up to Valentine's Day.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
We didn't know how happy they were leading in.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
Wait, that's true, that's true, But that was the premise
that we wanted to talk to successful couples, not just
couples who lasted, but couples who were happy to be
together even after all the years. And we just thought
it might be a nice nod to Valentine's Day and
to true love. But wow, not only did we connect
commiserate with these couples, but we were also inspired by them.
(00:56):
And there was a comfort in finding similarities and shared
experiences and knowing you're not alone when you face problems
in a relationship. But it gives you a sense and
a source of comfort that even when you have the
bumps in the road, so does everybody else. It doesn't
mean or spell disaster. I think that was a really
(01:17):
fun takeaway for me to see that everybody has mess
and it's just how you handle it.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
Well, that's what we know. Everybody has mess, But for
whatever reason, we look at everybody on Instagram and think
they don't like we're trying to compare ourselves, oftentimes to
another couple that we don't know a damn thing about
because it looks good on the surface. This was cool
to see and a lot of these folks do look
good on the surface. But when you start asking, and
we asked them all the same was the question that
you start delving into. Yes, they ran into some hell
(01:46):
and they've been through some things. And to your point,
we talk about this all the time with I guess
people in the public eye who go through something, oftentimes
it's if it's illness, they come out and they're open
about it and they talk about it, and you have
this ground swell of people saying, Wow, that helped me
because I'm going through it too. I've never really thought
about that. Relationships, you know, that's what happens.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
That is a really good point. It is the same
thing when people talk about their problems or they talk
about the not so great moments, everyone else'll say, oh
my goodness, you too, and it just it's comforting and
it's also inspiring because when you see how they handle
the problems, and it's not always perfectly, but every time
you don't do it right one time, you'll do it
(02:28):
better than next, hopefully if you're in it with the
right person who's also in it. I think the teamwork
aspect of it was really exception.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
The team was a theme. And I have to tell
we've talked about this privately, but I could say it
here publicly. Now. I feel so much better about our
relationship after going through and talking to all of these couples,
not as a matter of we got it better than.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
Anybody, Oh we're we're not comparing.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
Not that kind of a thing, but to hear so
many of the nuggets, to hear that we've gone through
the exact same things, and to see them come out
and be happier, and also to see how they have
argued and fight and gotten through things we have done
things similar, So I wow, Wow, we're actually doing something
right even when things aren't great.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
That is so true. I felt the exact same way.
And it's cool you made that connection to cancer journeys
because it's so true when you're going through something hard,
to see someone else who's gone through something similarly difficult
and come out on the other end with a smile,
that is sometimes all the inspiration you need to keep going.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
So those were kind of at least for me, this
turned into something I didn't expect, and that's wonderful. To
the point, I can't wait to do this again. I
would love to continue talking to couples. So we had
these were our couples, and some of them we did
have a little history with and some we had no idea, Oh,
hadn't spent any time with them. So this was our
list of couples. Trista and Ryan Sutter twenty one years
(03:55):
strong after meeting on the Bachelorette. Of course she was
the og. Tristan Tamer and Eddie Judge married eleven years.
You know them, of course from Real Housewives. And then
you had Samantha Greenstone and Jacob Hoff. You might not
know those names newlyweds. They are a mixed orientation couple.
He's gay, she's straight, and they are in a monogamous marriage.
That was an interesting one to talk all right.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
Then we had doctor Jeff Gardier and doctor Amber Brody.
We of course knew this couple. We were at their wedding.
They're newlyweds, but they've been together for more than a decade.
And oh, by the way, they have a twenty seven
year age difference. He's black, she's white, she's Jewish he's not.
That was really fun to hear how they handle all
(04:37):
of those differences beautifully, by the way. Then we had
Jenna Kramer and Alan Russell. We know Jana very well.
They were engaged after just six months and there was
literally an ocean between them. And this was Jenna's fourth
marriage his second. So this is a couple that we
were looking to for some answers. Mike and Lauren Sorrentino.
Mike the situation seven years married and their first year
(04:59):
of marri marriage was with Mike in prison. That's remarkable.
Then we have Peta Murgatroyd and Max Schermot. Oh my gosh,
I knew I was gonna get this wrong.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
Max. She always tells me, if you're listening, she always says, no,
I got it. I can hand this last and it's
all we have to say it.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
Max Schmerkovsky when we were in Warning America to say
their names all the time from Dancing with the Stars,
So Peta Murgatroyd and Max Schermovsky perhaps the funniest of
our interviews. They've been married for eight years. And then
Jenny Garth, who also is a friend of ours, and
her husband Dave Abrams. They've been married for ten years,
but there was a year long separation and divorce papers
(05:37):
in the mix of their marriage.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
Who surprise you most in this career or maybe intrigued
you most because we have a little background, a little
some kind of a baseline or foundation idea of these couples.
But what jumped out? Who jumped at it?
Speaker 2 (05:52):
I think Mike the situation in Lauren, because I didn't
realize everything they had been through, that they've known each
other for twenty one years, that they were dating and
then broke up for what five years plus while he
was on Jersey Shore. Then they get back together, and
then he goes to prison just to hear not just
what they went through, but where they are today. And
(06:12):
he had so many incredible nuggets that I was writing down.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
I think that's fair surprise, because there's something if I say,
anybody hear that, we say Mike the situation, you immediately
jumped to some conclusion about him from what you know
of that show, from what he was on Jersey Shore,
And if you didn't know he was married, you might jump, oh,
he must have met her and he was on the
show something. This is totally different what we got out
(06:37):
of them. That might have been the biggest surprise because
I went in with expectations that I shouldn't have had.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
Yep, yeah, I was gonna ask you. Did anyone else
surprise you besides Mike and Lauren.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
I think the mixed orientation couple, Samantha and Jacob. Again,
you folks will get into more of it, and we
encourage you to go listen to that interview we had
with them, but I think you hear it and Okay,
he's gay, she's straight, and they're in a monogamous relationship,
so immediately you go, what the hell. But the thing
that shocked or surprised me most they're just like us.
(07:07):
It doesn't matter who you are, where you're from, even ages.
Every single person, including a couple that seemingly that abnormal.
If you will only say, abnormal because it's not normal
out there in society is just as normal as you
and I and the things they deal with, the hopes
they have, the fights they have around the house, they're
(07:31):
the exact I was really really thrown by that.
Speaker 2 (07:33):
That was so cool to hear and see just how
everybody faces the same stuff. It was really cool.
Speaker 1 (07:42):
Okay, a lot of it was do you have a
standout response that you got from anybody along the way
something that jumped out was like, Holy hell, this dude's
crazy or this lady's funny, or there were several hilarious
moments throughout. Was there any response that jumped out at
you a three year and again all these interviews.
Speaker 2 (08:01):
Well, I look, there are so many things that jumped out.
I loved hearing in our Kevin McHale and Austin McKenzie
interview because we have struggled with this. They're not married,
and so they were trying to decide, you know, is
he my boyfriend? Is he my husband? To see my partner?
And Austin said, Kevin is my person because it's more
(08:22):
than all of those things. And he said, it's my
person who I'm committed to. And so instead of when
they're fighting him, thinking wait, is this not my person?
He's like, no, I've made a decision to be committed
that this is my person, and I'm trusting that the
best moments that I know we've had get us through
the not so best moments because he is my person.
(08:44):
I just I love that commitment that didn't require anything
beyond that.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
We're going to see them later. We really really hit
it off with those guys. They were awesome. We look
forward to that so again, we hope you listen to
them as well. But this was a list we had
with thirty five forty questions. We didn't get to all
of themm sometimes because some of the answers were a
little more long winded than others. Did you find as
well that it seemed like most of the guys were
doing more talking than the women.
Speaker 2 (09:10):
You know what, It was really fascinating to see that,
and I actually was laughing. I get this because sometimes
when we do podcasts, I learned something about you. I
watched the women listening to the men saying, wow, I
didn't know you thought that, I didn't know you felt that.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
Why do you think that is because a lot.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
Of times we don't say what's on our mind. Maybe
it's because we're afraid to, we're embarrassed to. We don't
know what the reaction is going to be, And somehow
it feels safe, hilariously on a podcast in front of
thousands and thousands of people, but you feel like you're
in a safe space with another couple who will understand
where you're coming from. So I just saw a lot
of honesty and a lot of openness that maybe wasn't
(09:49):
even shared in private moments.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
I was going to say, most of the women were saying, Wow,
I didn't know that because this is the first time
the guy really got a chance to talk.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
Oh that's funny. That could be true too.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
Though No, we say that kind of jokingly, not as
an insult here. But we had several women who are
the stars, if you will, at least the TV personality,
the big personality used to talking in front of folks.
Some of the guys I expected to be quiet. We
couldn't get him stuff like though Ryan Ryan, Ryan was
he might be my number one and all this. I
(10:19):
enjoyed Ryan. So Trista's's a husband so much because I
again an expectations game. He's the quiet guy he's usually
in the background. Through all these years, you don't hear
a lot from him. He sat down, he was the
most insightful, interesting, funny, but still quiet if you will,
in the way he has a quiet demeanor, right, but
he was incredible, but just it seemed like, I'm not
(10:43):
sure he has said anything. He needs to get off
his chest. But you were right about We took a
couple of interviews in before we realized, you know what,
We're getting some great stuff. And it might be because
they're sitting across from another.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
Couple and they feel safe, and they feel like this couple,
either she or he is going to understand where I'm
coming from. So it won't just be a me versus her.
It will be us talking about problems that we all
have and it feels safe. It's funny you mentioned the
men speaking up and being really insightful. It might have
been from years of listening. And I'm not even kidding.
(11:16):
I was thinking about that. I always know I need
to listen more, But when you sit there and you
listen again, they were so I need to listen more,
That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (11:27):
Wait, how do you determine that you need to listen more.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
What all I'm saying is watching the men speak up
okay and really have these incredible golden nuggets. Not that
the women didn't, but they really did have some cool
things to say. I had that thought in my head,
probably from all the years of listening. You gain a
lot of insight when you aren't talking. I'm giving myself
(11:49):
this advice.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
Okay, so, but you're saying the only thing coming out
of the men's mouths. They didn't come up with those
thoughts on their own. They had just been listening for
a long time and then they collected it.
Speaker 2 (11:59):
No, I think they know. I think they've listened to
what's happened. They've observed what's going on, and they've made
that insightful determination in their mind and they just haven't
articulated it yet until this moment, because oh wow, because
they didn't have the opportunity.
Speaker 1 (12:12):
To And you think that you could this is an
area you could improve. Oh of course, really, Oh I
think you're a great listener.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
I do really, huh, I don't believe you.
Speaker 1 (12:25):
I'm glad we didn't have to get asked some of
these questions. Most of them we would have been okay,
but we started with this was a nice icebreaker that
was on our list. We asked everybody give us three
words to describe your relationship. I think most people I
think honesty and theme. You know, Contentment was a theme
as well. It doesn't sound romantic, but.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
Fun was a big theme. A lot of people said
fun that is how they would describe their relationship. Yes,
and content. It doesn't sound sexy necessarily, but when you
go through enough of life, that sounds awesome.
Speaker 1 (12:55):
Who said I love you first? Was a fun question,
and I think overwhelmingly it was the It was yes,
end up saying who said I love you? Okay, of
course I did. This question was interesting. I got great
insights on this one. Why did you want to be
married again? A lot of people will look at that, Hey,
it's just a piece of paper. Who kids is not
going to change anything, or people think, oh, it's going
to change us too much. There were some great answers
(13:17):
to that question.
Speaker 2 (13:17):
Yes, I think people not only Some of them said
that it was they were traditional people and they value
the tradition of marriage. Other people said they liked the
idea of commitment in front of friends and family, that
that had power and just the whole idea of publicly
stating this is my person was an important part of it.
(13:39):
And other people said it was because of their kids.
Some of them had kids from previous marriages or had
had children before they got married and just thought that
that was a lesson or an example they wanted to
set for their children.
Speaker 1 (13:49):
Okay, And we asked about fighting. How often you fight,
do you what do you fight most about? We asked
about going to bed angry. That was a big debate
that a lot of people have out there about relationships.
Asked about the folks sex life, which we got a
lot of interesting and I guess more thoughtful answers and
grown up answers. I think is a way to They
(14:10):
were adulting in these answers like, yeah, we love that
have a better sex life. But there's a teenager on
this SI all teenager on that side of the.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
Way, right it was they just said, yeah, I believe
was it Ryan? When we said how is your sex
life change? She said, well, it's scheduled now or what's
what's the opposite of less spontaneous? But that is real
And I think people who are in long term marriages,
who have kids, it's nice to hear that even sexy,
hot couples who you see on TV, who imagine are
having sex marathons every day, are saying, yeah, we're like
(14:40):
not in that phase anymore. And it's okay. And I
will say all of them said that the sex was better,
that it was more meaningful, that it was not necessarily
the quality over quantity is what I believe.
Speaker 1 (14:52):
One person said, yeah, you gotta make account, all right.
So this was an absolute blast for us. So we're
gonna get into the nitty gritty here in a second. Now,
we're gonna tell you about the themes that emerged from
these couples, and they were obvious. It was consistent that
no matter who the couple was, there were certain things
(15:14):
that jumped out and you need to hear that make
these successful couples successful. Also, we'll get into some of
the surprises we got from a lot of the couples,
and we'll tell you what advice we heard from them
that we are going to be using ourselves. Welcome back
(15:37):
everybody to this special cuffing season episode of Amy and TJ.
We are recapping the Valentine's Day love stories that we
did with a number of couples. You can check out
all of those interviews. They're gonna be up in the
feed all in order here for you to see right now.
But we've been releasing one a day of the entire
month of February leading up to Valentine's Day, so we're
(15:59):
kind of given recap of all those now. But Rhodes
I said, some themes did emerge. It doesn't matter young, old,
where they are, first marriage, second mayor there are certain
themes that did emerge.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
That's true. A lot of the couples that we talked
to that are successful and have lots of years under
their belts have said that they were in other relationships
when they first met. So this is a big thing, yes,
and so they had to pause, take some time get
out of those relationships before they actually entered theirs. But
that was a significant number of the couples. Tamra and Eddie,
(16:37):
I recall, were in that situation, what.
Speaker 1 (16:41):
Max and Peter were in that situation as well.
Speaker 2 (16:45):
Well, Trista was in a relationship with how many men
at the time she met Ryan. I mean, that's kind
of funny. Well, she didn't say I love you to
him while he was saying it to her because of that,
which is kind of funny.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
Well, I thought this was something that everybody needs to that. Again,
these are themes what makes us full successful. I think
so often I talk to people, and oftentimes it is
women who say I can't meet anybody while dating is
so difficult. Where do I go to meet people? Or
and talking about online you don't have to meet them.
Possibly he's there in your life right now and you
(17:15):
just haven't realized or recognized that. Think that is real, folks,
and y'all need to pay attention to that because it
showed up in these relationships. And a lot of these
folks when they first meet, they don't meet. They meet innocently. Yeah,
they some of them met at work. They meet in
a way that's okay, Hi, how you doing it? Move
on and not even thinking about that person.
Speaker 2 (17:33):
A lot of people met at work that you just mentioned.
Pete and Max, they certainly did, and there wasn't sparks
at first. According to Peter, Jeff and Amber they met
at work as well and spent a couple of years
as just friends or at least eighteen months as just friends.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
And get this, folks, those two he used to help
her in her dating life.
Speaker 2 (17:49):
Yeah, he helped her with Jay dates and then she
actually made the first move and said, Hey, I'd actually
like to date you. So it goes to show someone
has to make that first move. But you can get
out of the friend zone.
Speaker 1 (18:04):
Yeah, and sometimes you don't even know it or realize
and you're not even trying to and it happens. That
absolutely jumped out at me. Another theme that was here,
and folks, be in a relationship, pay attention to this one.
And this one makes me nervous. Big breakups happen to
successful relationship.
Speaker 2 (18:19):
Big breakups happen, and it's good to know that if
the foundation is there, you will come back together. And
we saw that happen. Jenny and Dave stand out specifically
to me because they broke up for or they were separated,
I believe for almost a year and a half. He
had divorce papers that he had tucked in his truck
and drove around with them.
Speaker 1 (18:40):
Folks, serious, if this is one you need to listen to.
This was unbelievable. He literally had divorce papers for her
to sign and for a year plus, right, they were
in a little you know, the driver's seat in your car,
the back of the driver's seat has a little compartment
you can slide on the little pocket. They were there,
he said, for a year plus writing just riding around
as well.
Speaker 2 (18:59):
There and now well they've been back together for six
years and are so happy. So that's that's a cool
thing to know that it can get that bad and
if there still is that much love and a foundation there,
you can come back together. Mike and Lauren same thing.
They broke up four I believe it was five years
while the whole time while he's experiencing all of this
fame and a significant addiction problem as well at the
(19:22):
same time. But they came back together and now are
stronger than ever. They were really impressive to me.
Speaker 1 (19:28):
This made me nervous and that a while when az
oars coming like it's I don't and I'm suggesting that
everybody has to go through a breakup. But to hear
these couples talk about how these weren't just a weekend thing.
These were significant, like you say, years long sometime breakups,
and to hear how they found their way back to
each other, it's just not over. I guess there's some
(19:49):
passion in something you recognize sometimes and the timing ain't right,
and maybe it will be later. And I couldn't help
but think about our guy, Matt and Rachel, And I said,
when those two broke up, I said, man, I don't
know if they're done. We will see. They need a beat.
But it makes me hold out of hope for Ben
and Jen still, you know, oh I know.
Speaker 2 (20:07):
I mean, look, I told you I saw all the
headlines that Matt had taken down the breakup page, or
the posts that he made that everybody made so much.
He deleted that. So now that was the whole story.
So you never know, there's a glimmer of hope.
Speaker 1 (20:20):
They're not one of the couples we talked about.
Speaker 2 (20:22):
They're they're not. The other thing is all of these couples,
it seems, made it through something major, whether it was
a previous divorce or someone else's children or finances, you know,
their addiction.
Speaker 1 (20:36):
No, I'm saying you and I I when I see
couples that have gone through some kind of like trauma,
and they often see them that it's gonna make them
a break them and these couples it is an absolute
theme folks who have gone through trials like real, are
you talking about diction, We're talking about prison we're talking
(20:57):
like some I mean divorces from other folk folks, and
they've gone through and had to fight through something that
absolutely showed itself throughout these interviews.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
That brings me to something I wanted to say because
I wrote this down. Mike the situation said this, and
I love this. He said, going to prison basically they
had already dealt with so much together. It felt like
a muscle that they built up a foundation to fight
together and that they're a battle tested couple. He said,
we turned adversity into our own power. We use what
(21:30):
was meant to be used against us and turned it
into something to use for us. And I just thought
that was so cool. Had they both had such a
team mentality and it came through adversity, but.
Speaker 1 (21:43):
That it seems silly to say, but you this, folks,
he said, Yeah, by the time it was time for
me to go to prison, we were good. We could
handle that because we've already been through hell.
Speaker 2 (21:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (21:53):
He actually talked about it as if yeah, prison, Yeah,
we're good, we'll make it through this too. I loved
that idea, and I do, Babe, I think about that
with you. So many things that come up. I barely
even blink like, oh, yeah, we'll be fine. You have
any idea what me and Robot went through. Some people
think they have an idea, And then there's some people
who are in our families and saw the hell and
(22:16):
there was nobody on the planet that was on my
team other than you. Is what it felt like when
you go through.
Speaker 2 (22:23):
That with somebody what you got and when things aren't great,
if you have a problem, and of course Mike and
Lauren and all of these couples have issues that come up,
but when you remember that we made it through that,
and we made it through that time together, leaning on
each other, supporting each other, and trusting each other, that
to me, gets you through all of the tougher times
(22:44):
that maybe ahead.
Speaker 1 (22:45):
And you know what else was a theme again if
you want your relationship to be successful the successful couples.
Another thing that that that emerged as a theme. They
generally had the support of their friends and family. Now
a couple had an issue here or there, but they
did have a group around them that was supportable of
their relationship. That's it seems obvious, but that's key.
Speaker 2 (23:06):
It oh, it is key. And even a few of
them who said it first, there was some you know,
Tristan Ryan. When you meet on a reality show your mom,
they might think is this a good idea, But they
came around very quickly once they met the couple.
Speaker 1 (23:20):
So that was a cool thing we mentioned earlier. We
all we asked the question about sex, but this was
a theme as well. Aside from sex, a theme was
physical touch was important to everybody, even sitting on a couch,
they found themselves holding hands. And the other one was
when we are not in a good way, we're fighting,
several said, you know sometimes just the toes under the
(23:42):
covers in bed makes all the difference in the world.
Speaker 2 (23:45):
I so related to that. I have told you this,
even if we weren't or aren't in a good place,
if I just hold your hand and you'll just squeeze it,
we don't have to say anything. It's like, I know
we're not great right now, but I still love you
and you don't. Might you might not have the the
ability to say that out loud because you're still angry.
(24:05):
But a hand squeeze or yes, a little touch of
the foot, that is everything in those moments.
Speaker 1 (24:11):
And yeah, I think everybody said they're handholders. They walk
down the street and hold hands every.
Speaker 2 (24:14):
Single one when we asked we had we were on
zoom and some of these interviews they would hold up
and show us that they were actually holding hands while
they were talking and we didn't even see it. It's
pretty cool.
Speaker 1 (24:25):
Okay. This next one, folks, is huge if you want
your relationship to be successful. And this is one I
think robes that the couples reacted like very strongly too.
This is a major no no. You have got to
you have got the folks fight fair. Threatening to break up,
threatening to leave, threatening with I'm done, or threatening divorce
(24:47):
is an absolute no no.
Speaker 2 (24:49):
So in some of these couples it happened initially, like
in the first year or two of the relationship. One
of them was a runner. One of them was that
I'm done and when they saw how much of hurt
the other person. It seemed as though every one of
these folks, some people from the beginning, said we made
a pact that we were never going to curse at
each other, and we were never going to threaten to
(25:10):
leave or get divorced or to walk away unless we
meant it. And some of them learned that the hard
way by doing it once or twice and realizing this
is planting seeds of doubt that I won't be able
to unearth like they stay and.
Speaker 1 (25:25):
They do overwhelmingly. This is a sin. You just do
not do it. It cannot be done.
Speaker 2 (25:31):
And I will make a pact with you. And I
think we had something early on in our relationship where
I was wanting to leave, not leave the relationship, but
just leave, and you said, hey, you just looked at
me and said, if you walk out that door, do
not come back. And I knew you meant it, and
so I said, I think I'll stay. You did, you
did very calmly, but in fact, because you were so
(25:53):
calm with such a like an unraised voice, I knew
I was like, let me think if I really want
to do this or not. And honestly, it was a
good moment for me and I think for us because
we've never done that. I've never done that again, and
if we had to, Lisa, look, I love you or
I'm upset right now and I'm gonna leave it. I'm
gonna come back, but I just need some time. That's
something different than saying I'm done or I'm walking out,
(26:14):
and so I am so for that packed I think
it's a good thing for couples to make that packed.
Speaker 1 (26:20):
Oh okay, well i'll your accent for me.
Speaker 2 (26:22):
To make it's understood. It's understood.
Speaker 1 (26:26):
But it's just such a toxic one. And we watch
a lot of reality dating shows of some kind. How
many times do we see somebody go I'm done and
walk away. I'm done and walk away, and then they
come back I'm done. It's just it's it's a.
Speaker 2 (26:40):
Killer, and it's a it's a killer, and it and
it and it really does start to eat away at
trust and at that love.
Speaker 1 (26:48):
Oh, don't do it, folks. And that's a big we
should put that number on the list. Do not do that.
Speaker 2 (26:53):
That was one of the big and not like you
know it intellectually, but to hear these couples emphatically say
this is something we have made a decision not to
do together. I was on board one hundred percent.
Speaker 1 (27:03):
Another thing was time apart. Yeah, folks, don't see even
want it or need it.
Speaker 2 (27:08):
I was surprised by this because I thought perhaps we
were going to hear from these very busy, very like
successful couples that they are like I need my alone time,
I need my space, and none of them said that
the only the only two that kind of alluded to
it a little bit was Austin and oh my god, Kevin.
(27:30):
Austin and Kevin. When they decided to move in together
after six years of dating and not living together, Kevin
thought it would be good for him to give Austin
his own room just in case, and sometimes he sleeps
on the couch, and so just to give him that space,
because he said, Austin said, I know, I'm somebody who
needs alone time. It didn't seem like they took much
of it, but that was the only person who even
(27:51):
said maybe. Dave Jenny's Dave said, initially he needed alone time,
but now that he's matured, he doesn't. The golf, remember
all that, and the boy weekends and she was that
was the one thing they used to fight about. That
now it's just a non starter.
Speaker 1 (28:03):
And we can't no time away from each other like none,
like none.
Speaker 2 (28:10):
Do you need some you know?
Speaker 1 (28:11):
You remember I called you today. I had to leave
you for a short time. We're not used to doing that.
We used to listen together all morning. I had to
leave you for a short time and I called you,
Oh yeah, because I missed you and you sent me
a text of Hamil on the treap mill, just another
mile to gooh blah blah blah, and I said, you know,
I didn't want anything. I can't remember wh I.
Speaker 2 (28:27):
Was called, and I said, oh, you missed the sound
of my voice.
Speaker 1 (28:32):
There was nothing to talk about.
Speaker 2 (28:34):
I definitely and me who I thought I was before
I was in this relationship with you. I have said
I need alone time, I need my own space. I'm
not touchy feely. I don't like physical touch. I don't
hold hands. All of those things completely out the window.
Speaker 1 (28:55):
She's a keeper, right, she's a keeper. She sounds awesome.
I don't want to be touched.
Speaker 2 (29:00):
I would just say. I believe when you are with
the right person, all of those things you think about
yourself melt away because your number one priority is to
feel connected to this person who you love. And I
have experienced that now with you, and it makes me
happy to know that sometimes it is about having the
(29:20):
right person and then things do fall in place. It
doesn't mean that there isn't work, and there isn't a
lot of work that's involved in keeping all of that
alive and going. But I realized how important it is
to have the right partner.
Speaker 1 (29:36):
Well, I hope this is it. We'll see what we
make it through this breakup that's coming. Everybody comes back
from it a few surprises though here finance is not
an issue for anybody. That was a surprise to me.
Some people they choose to keep it all together, separated.
Some of them even complicated with some LLCs and all
of this stuff. But for the most point, nobody had
a finance issue.
Speaker 2 (29:56):
No, no, and Jenny Garth did discuss that there is
is a little bit of a challenge sometimes when the
woman makes more money than the man. There's some finessing
and discussions that actually had to take place for them,
because resentment starts to build when people don't discuss it.
That's when the problems happened. But it seemed like everybody
figured it out.
Speaker 1 (30:15):
He acknowledged that too, Yeah, yea, yeah, he completelynowledged there
wasn't immediate chemistry. That was a surprise as well. And
we talked about this. You didn't meet necessarily. Even if
you meet someone and you're not thinking you're going to
date them, they're still you think a spark happens. But
a lot of these folks said, no, I didn't.
Speaker 2 (30:30):
Yeah, a lot of the women said it didn't happen
for them, funny enough, the men all kind of said
that they did have a spot. Petere was like nah,
and Max is like, well, obviously I was, yes, I
thought you were. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (30:42):
Is it the women just not admitting it and protecting
themselves like you always say that? Sometimes you do.
Speaker 2 (30:46):
Possibly, But I also think that men might be more
visual and women it takes a little bit more for
you to kind of have that big spark. You want
to know someone's personality, you want to see if they're funny,
and all of those.
Speaker 1 (30:58):
The takeaway from there is that you don't have to
look across the room and see somebody who just gets
you going it. You actually can fall in love with
somebody and become wildly attracted to them through getting to
know them. Again. I'd go back to all these reality shows,
these dating reality shows. It's usually just a visual and
I'm into them. I'm not into them. But then some
(31:18):
of them that don't have anything in common. You don't
think it's oh, they don't have any chemistry. Three episodes later,
they're all over each.
Speaker 2 (31:24):
Other, and then we google them and find out they
have three kids, and we're like wow, that's amazing. But
I think a lot of folks what we heard from
a lot of these couples is that friendship is the
number one foundation. Yeah, number one foundation, And we've heard
that a lot from people. But it was evident each
of these couples just what we got the advantage of
(31:44):
watching them, and there was an energy between all of them.
It didn't matter if they'd been together for twenty one
years or ten years, but these are all tried and
true couples. There was a friendship and there was a
camaraderie and there was this swe eat team like energy
between them that I can't even I can't I don't
even have words to describe, but it was there.
Speaker 1 (32:06):
You can't fake it all, and you can't fake it.
You cannot sit with your loved, the one of your
spouse and answer questions that you have. They didn't. I
give all of them credit. They had no idea what
the questions were and sat there and when they came out,
they look at each other and then the answers would
come out. And you have to have a level of
comfort and confidence in your relationship and the person you're
(32:26):
sitting next to to do that. I don't know if
i'd do that with you. But we're going through here
in just a minute. One last thing I want to
get to about the surprises the last name change for
the married couples. There is no middle ground here. It
seems you are either all for it passionately or you
are absolutely against it passionately. At least when it comes.
(32:49):
The men are the ones who are passionately for it,
and then the women are the ones are passionately against it. Correct,
So where are we going to do?
Speaker 2 (32:56):
I don't know. I've never changed my name.
Speaker 1 (33:00):
Yeah, what are we going to do?
Speaker 2 (33:01):
I don't know. Okay, I told you the only thing
I'd be open for is a hyphenation.
Speaker 1 (33:05):
The only thing you'd be open for.
Speaker 2 (33:07):
Yeah, I wouldn't completely lose Robock.
Speaker 1 (33:09):
Ever, any Robock Holmes.
Speaker 2 (33:10):
That would be the only thing I'd be open to.
Speaker 1 (33:13):
The only thing you'd be this is a negotiation.
Speaker 2 (33:14):
Then, well, I'm just saying I wouldn't lose Robock.
Speaker 1 (33:17):
You don't have to lose Robocks.
Speaker 2 (33:19):
There you go.
Speaker 1 (33:19):
You don't I mean not in spirit, but.
Speaker 2 (33:24):
No, I mean I think that you are not actually
that what.
Speaker 1 (33:30):
You can't lose Robot, then I can't call you Robock.
I can't call you Rob then homes Robes homes No,
that's terrible. Well fuck, we had such a good time
with them. But when we come back where we have
our super producers in the room with us, we have
as always Andy, Emma and then Sydney's in the room.
They are going to ask actually turn the tables on
(33:51):
us a little bit here. We actually don't know what
they're going to ask. They pluck some questions from the ones.
I guess, what do you say? Turn about? It's fair play, yes,
and hit us with some of the ones we we
gave our couples. But then there are supposed to be
some extra ones in there as well that are rapid fire,
which is always fun. Oh can't wait, because I love
when somebody ask you a question, You just say the
first thing that pops in your mind.
Speaker 2 (34:10):
What could possibly go wrong?
Speaker 1 (34:11):
Stand by? Folks are right back? All right, we're back
folks on this special cuffing season edition of Amy and
TJ Robes. You nervous about answering questions about us?
Speaker 2 (34:29):
Not with you by my side?
Speaker 1 (34:30):
Okay, you know what. That's what we put all these
couples through. We did so. I don't know why I
don't I feel a little uncomfortable going into this. But
but yes, our our producing team here, Emma, Sydney and
Andy came up with some questions for us. Emma, all right,
give us your best.
Speaker 3 (34:48):
Let's warm up with this one.
Speaker 1 (34:50):
Easy stuff.
Speaker 3 (34:50):
Give three words to describe your relationship?
Speaker 2 (34:53):
Thank you today. Oh that's the first question we asked.
Oh that's a good one. We should have seen this
com I think about it, all right, I'll you want
to start.
Speaker 1 (35:03):
Well, I remember it was it last night. Sabine was
in the room. We talked about this. Last night. Sabine
was in the room with us in the bedroom. She
was on the couch. We're in the bed. Everybody's working.
We were working on something. You looked at me and
you said, you know, what three words would you use
to describe a relationship? Yes? Do you remember what I said?
Speaker 2 (35:20):
Something really smart ass? I said, on my nerves, that's
exactly that's exactly what he said.
Speaker 1 (35:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (35:26):
See, it was so annoying. I forgot it because I
chose not to having fun. I know, now you have
to be serious.
Speaker 1 (35:32):
Okay, all right, you said you had something.
Speaker 2 (35:34):
Okay, all right, I'll go so for me, fun one
hundred percent we are fun is an something that we
actually prioritize in our relationship. Committed. I feel like I'm
in this with you one hundred percent, and I feel
that we are fully committed and that creates a lot
(35:54):
of safety and satisfaction. And number three, I would say passionate.
Speaker 1 (36:04):
My three words would be still in shock.
Speaker 2 (36:10):
You.
Speaker 1 (36:12):
I say this to you so often in private. I
cannot believe we're together. We from where our lives started
to are growing up, to colleges to careers, to relationships,
to where we ended up working together. All that is
a fricking miracle that we are sitting here together right now.
(36:33):
So yes, I if I will forever be hopefully still
in awe of this relationship. So that was my serious
And say, y'all laughing, And did you.
Speaker 2 (36:42):
Just change it from still in shock to still in shaw?
Speaker 1 (36:45):
No, I said, I hope I remain in awe with
this relationship. I actually don't listen. Oh my god, we
were talking about this earlier week. Oh my god, you're
so right.
Speaker 2 (36:53):
Your three words were still in shock.
Speaker 1 (36:55):
Still in shock, I said, I remain I hope I
remain in awe of this relationship.
Speaker 2 (37:00):
I get that. I was just saying I love the words.
Speaker 1 (37:02):
Still in awe versus still in shock.
Speaker 2 (37:04):
Yes, awe is kind of like onspiring, like it's a positive.
Speaker 1 (37:09):
In shock could be terrible, But awe is something You
can be in awe of something that's still expected. You
can be in awe of a rose that's on the
damn street. You can be in awe of a puppy
that's going down the street. But for me TJ. Holmes
to end up in a loving relationship and want to
marry Amy Robach, I'm shocked.
Speaker 2 (37:31):
Okay, who's more likely to start a fight?
Speaker 1 (37:38):
Roebuck? How So, just like that by not acknowledging initially
that you're the one that usually.
Speaker 2 (37:45):
Starts to fight, but you're the one who gets angry.
Speaker 1 (37:47):
No, I don't, baby, I don't start fights. You know
I don't. I ask questions. So why were you twenty
minutes late to this important thing that I have? Why
am I a start a fight?
Speaker 2 (38:04):
Okay?
Speaker 1 (38:04):
You think I'm likely to start fights?
Speaker 2 (38:06):
I do?
Speaker 1 (38:07):
Well, it seems like Emma is most likely to start
a fight because we're two questions in.
Speaker 2 (38:14):
God, Okay, let's switch it up. How often do you
have sex?
Speaker 3 (38:19):
And has it changed? Or how has it changed over time.
Speaker 1 (38:23):
You want to answer, you want to answer, you can answer.
There is for me at least you guys are however
you want to. We are in the public eye. We
have a very public relationship. People are very curious about
our relationship, and we have answered plenty about it. There's
(38:43):
a necklace around your neck with a ring on it
that I don't know if I will ever reveal my
mindset and why in the message behind that ring. Sex
is another one that you know what. That's not something
I am going to address publicly. You can, but you
(39:05):
I don't feel I can, I should or I'm wanting
to speak on that intimate thing having to.
Speaker 2 (39:11):
Do with you.
Speaker 1 (39:12):
If you you can say whatever you want, run on
the mic right now and then I'll follow. But there's
something about it that always didn't sit right with me.
Speaker 2 (39:18):
I would just say, and we're what are we? Two
plus years into our relationship. All I can say it
is the best, most beautiful experience I have ever had
in my life, and it has only gotten better.
Speaker 3 (39:35):
Pretty solid.
Speaker 1 (39:37):
Oh, everybody's look at she's quiet, she's quiet, he's quiet,
You're quiet. Everybody's looking around. You want you want me
to comment on.
Speaker 2 (39:44):
Our sex one only if you want to, And it
doesn't sound like you do.
Speaker 1 (39:47):
No, it's you know, I think a lot of this
has to do We do cover so many celebrity couples,
and I think folks give a at least the public things.
Wait a minute, you told me this much, so then
when I ask this, you better damn sure tell me
this too. It's like some lines slippery slope, there's some
fine line. So I have always wanted to make sure
(40:09):
I drew up some line of some kind to say that,
you know what, there's some things that are private I
don't want to speak on, and that's one of them.
Speaker 2 (40:17):
Yeah, and that's cool. And we when we asked each
of the couples, we said, answer this however you'd like,
because it's something people are curious about. But we also
respect the fact that that is something that a lot
of people don't want to talk about.
Speaker 1 (40:31):
I'm one of them.
Speaker 3 (40:33):
Duly noted love Okay, how are you two keeping the
romance alive?
Speaker 1 (40:43):
There? Well, it depends on what feels romantic to you.
Speaker 2 (40:47):
But the.
Speaker 1 (40:49):
I think there are constant daily gestures or nuggets that
show that you love somebody. You don't have to say
I love you. You could go through a whole day
without saying I love you, and a person can fit
or more loved than ever by what you do. So
I do make a point of sending a note every
now and now and again, just randomly I love you,
(41:09):
thinking about you on my way cooking is something I
certainly like to do. The handholding and the touching, it's
constant with us. So the romance, I don't make an
effort necessarily to what do I need to come up with?
It stays there.
Speaker 2 (41:28):
I do.
Speaker 1 (41:29):
When you get up in the morning, you don't speak
to him, I say, hey, what the hell like? We
go right to work. You keep romance a lot and
saying hey, we need to remember that this relationship is first.
This podcast will get done. But you and I sacrificing
just giving a kiss or saying good morning so that
we can get to the podcast is not something that's yeah.
Speaker 2 (41:45):
And I think that's the only thing that we need
to remember and we do throughout the day, is because
we are working so often when we're together, we're working,
so to remember that we're a couple who is working together.
But I don't think it's that hard hard for us.
There might be an hour goes by and like, hey,
like I miss you, come over, like you know, and
then there's a touch or there's a kiss or there's
(42:06):
a hug. But it's it hasn't felt like work, and
it hasn't felt like something I had to remember to do.
It's something that I've still wanted to do. And I
feel it for you, and I hope you feel it
for me.
Speaker 1 (42:18):
That's all that I needed to hear. Thanks.
Speaker 3 (42:20):
How do you manage your finances? How do you decide
who pays for dinners, trips, groceries, et cetera.
Speaker 2 (42:26):
Yeah, we have. We have a joint account and so
that's we Initially we were struggling with it. Do you
remember we so badly wanted to get a joint immediately
so one person wasn't It just seemed like we were
past the point of saying it's my turner. TJ always
tried to pay for everything. In fact, the truth is
he would never let me pay for anything, which was
(42:46):
very sweet and I loved it, but I also knew
that that was not a way forward for us. So
it was.
Speaker 1 (42:55):
It was lovely while it lasted.
Speaker 2 (42:56):
But the point being, I remember we were being so
hounded by Papa Rozzi. We desperately were trying to get
to the bank to open a joint account together, but
we knew that they'd make a headline of it or
say something that it wasn't So I was on the phone.
We were calling trying to figure out how we could
open a bank account without going into the actual branch.
And we finally found a bank.
Speaker 1 (43:18):
But we could do it.
Speaker 2 (43:19):
We did not have to go in for the bank
we found, but my bank. I tried every back door
I could to not walk into the So it took
us a couple months, but we finally did get a
joint bank account. And so yes, we everything we do
together we have out of our join.
Speaker 3 (43:34):
What is one thing people would be surprised to know
about your relationship?
Speaker 1 (43:39):
Surprised to know about it? Hm, I don't know. I
something like folks know so much about us, so they
think they know about us, surprised to know. I think
it'd be surprised to know just how much we appreciate
not being out, like how much like it's there's a
picture here on a red carpet, there's out of a
(44:01):
nice restaurant, and all this stuff is going on. Man,
I just want to go home like, well, I am
completely content with you at the house. It's got to
be something better than that. As far as surprise, we
would know what you get.
Speaker 2 (44:12):
Well, I would say if I added up, and this
is true, the hours that we spent a part during
the week, I would say, on any given week minus
anytime we would travel apart, it's probably less than five
hours a week that we spend apart. Yes, oh maybe, sure, yes,
(44:33):
And that is pretty remarkable. Most people have separate jobs,
or separate lives or children pulling them in different directions.
And we really do everything we don't get any time before,
and that we're not just say oh we're always together.
We're actually always together.
Speaker 3 (44:50):
How are you spending Valentine's Day?
Speaker 2 (44:54):
Well, it's gonna be a party of three. Yes, we
have Sabine, Jay's daughter is coming with us to go see.
This is actually so exciting. I love this question. We
are going to see a rom com horror movie. There
is a mashed genre that I am so excited to see.
(45:14):
It's called heart Eyes. It's been well reviewed. We are
all in, so I get a little rom com and
then we both get a lot of horror. And it
sounds kind of like the most perfect Valentine's Day date ever,
especially with Sabine. We love having her with us.
Speaker 1 (45:31):
And the killer has he wears a mask and the
eyes are lit up and they have little hearts. That's
the idea.
Speaker 2 (45:37):
This is us made for us to watch on Valentine's Day.
Speaker 1 (45:41):
This is so good that that is our point. And
the Valentine's Days I have. I've already done the flowers right, yes, okay,
so the flowers are good. I have a wonderful gift
for you. It's so good it is.
Speaker 2 (45:54):
I have a really good gift for you too.
Speaker 1 (45:56):
Her birthday is just a week before Valentine's Day, which.
Speaker 2 (46:01):
It's a lot of gifts, dude, and Christmas was just
six weeks before, so.
Speaker 1 (46:06):
I had to I bought her. I had her gifts
for her birthday and for Valentine's Day, but we were
taking a trip for her birthday, and so I said,
you know what, you would love what I got you
for Valentine's Day, and you would want to take it
on this trip. So I switched it up. So your
Valentine's Day gift I gave you for your birthday, and
(46:26):
now your original birthday gift has become the Valentine's Day gift.
Speaker 2 (46:29):
That's happened, very funny.
Speaker 3 (46:31):
What was your birthday gift?
Speaker 2 (46:32):
A really hot pair of Nike running sneakers. But I
knew where everybody's mind was. Yes, but they are actual
running shoes with flames on them.
Speaker 1 (46:47):
And we were going to Vegas, and we were going
to run in Vegas, and I knew she want to
run on the strip and the new shoes, so I
called an autimal.
Speaker 2 (46:52):
It was perfect, perfect. I loved it all right.
Speaker 1 (46:55):
So this has made this has been fun. I'm not
I've told it to you privately, but talking to these
couples reassured me about our relationship and that we're doing
something right and that even when we're doing something wrong,
we're doing something right. So this has been a wonderful experiment.
I hope we can do it down there.
Speaker 2 (47:10):
I agree, and I was hoping. I am hoping that
everyone who has listened or who hasn't and is going
to I encourage you. We encourage you to listen along
with the questions and ask yourself, ask your loved one,
have fun with some of the questions, ask each other
what you think of the answer, because it really does
(47:32):
bring you closer together, and sometimes what you think your
partner is going to say, they don't and they surprise
you in a good way. We saw that happen time
and time again with the couples, some of them saying
they were more in love after the interview than they
were before because they learned something sweet or beautiful that
maybe the other person hadn't shared completely with them until now.
So anyway, it would be great if any of you
(47:53):
all listen to whatever one you want, but the questions
are basically the same, and I just think it's really
fun exercise maybe to even listen with your loved one
on this Valentine's month weekend week And we have.
Speaker 1 (48:06):
It right, Sydney, Andy, Emma. The all of the episodes,
all the interviews will end up on our feed, all
chunked together. Do I have that right, Sydney. They're gonna
go up to where they'll all be in line together.
They're there now, but we're putting them up for you
to where they are all in line. You'll see them
all together in our feed, so by all means, check
them out and again the ropes, Thank you Dave for
(48:27):
the This has been an absolute blast. So and I
do I can't say it enough. I feel more optimistic
and encouraged and feel better and more confident about I
didn't lack confidence. I feel more confident about us than ever.
Speaker 2 (48:39):
I one hundred percent agree. I felt the exact same way.
I already knew I loved you. I already knew I
wanted to spend my life with you. But now I
feel like we're not just gonna make it, but we're
gonna be great.
Speaker 1 (48:49):
Well, folks, we appreciate you as always for listening. I'm TJ. Holmes,
and this is Amy Robot and it will forever be
Amy Robot. That name will never change.
Speaker 2 (49:03):
You know me so well. M
Hosts And Creators
Amy Robach
T.J. Holmes
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