February 4, 2025 • 49 mins
In our next installment of Love Stories, we have two people who met on television, and more than a decade later still live much of their lives in front of the cameras. But there’s so much to learn about how Real Housewives of Orange County star Tamra Judge and her hubby Eddie operate when the cameras aren’t rolling! They answer all the same questions Amy and T.J. have been asking other successful, happy couples as we lead up to Valentine’s Day. Tamra met Eddie while she was still married to her first husband, and despite the recent rumors about their impending divorce, these two say they’re happier now than they’ve ever been before after 11 years of marriage and counting.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hey, there're folks. In this episode, we continue our series
love Stories today our second couple, Camera and Eddie Judge,
the real housewife and her husband of eleven years, our
hero to help us, help you. Welcome to the special
Cuffing season edition of Amy and TJ and Robes. These
are two folks who married eleven years and some didn't
(00:24):
think it was going to make it to twelve. They
were having to deal with rumors very recently if something
was going on in their marriage.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Just a couple of weeks ago, Tamar actually felt the
need to say something, to make a statement because there
were so many rumors swirling about their impending divorce, which
is sport for some people, and that's it's sad when
you're on the receiving end of it. So I'm glad
she set the record straight. But based on our conversation,
it's quite the opposite from what the tabloids are trying
(00:51):
to sell.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
You and I'd like and then we could we you
and I could take lessons from Tamra Judge to where
there was something out there floating around. She shut it down,
and it was funny how she shut it down. She
just said, get a life. Is there res fine, it
was that simple, but you could shut it down with
just those words. So we should listen to her Real
Housewives of Orange.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
Count Tony and we've gotten to know her and Eddie
over the past year or so with the iHeart Family
and hearing that she said get a life. That is
just so on brand for her and anyone who watches
obviously Real Housewives knows her. She says exactly what she
thinks and makes no apologies for it. But it's really
(01:34):
cool to see her with her husband Eddie of eleven years,
just interacting with one another. You know, it's one thing
if I were to have just interviewed them, or if
you were to have just interviewed them, it might have
been a little more formal and a little less forthcoming
in terms of what they were comfortable with talking about.
But when it's one couple asking another couple, it's kind
(01:55):
of like the playing field is equal and everyone feels
comfortable sharing secrets that maybe you wouldn't if you were
being interviewed by someone.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
And this is a one hundred percent true story about
these two Tamernetti which who have a huge following. Obviously
that you were even found out about hanging out with
the friend of ours yesterday that just mentioning Tamara Judge's name,
and she just about lost the mind.
Speaker 3 (02:18):
Yes, huge fan, huge fan.
Speaker 1 (02:21):
But when we did, we did. It was our first
real iHeart event. After we had joined the team and
announced our podcast. We went out to California. There was
this big dinner for all the iHeart podcast hosts and
folks that night we met Tamarnetti. That night, we spent
more time talking to Tamarorannetti in a corner just us
(02:44):
hanging out than anybody else. We loved them.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
It was it was great to feel like another couple
understood what it was like to have their lives splashed
out in the headlines and in in not real ways
where you constantly we're dealing with rumors or battling bad headlines.
And so that was an immediate connection we all had together.
(03:07):
And the fact that Tamra this is her second marriage,
so you know, there is camaraderie among folks who have
have had certain events in their lives bring them together.
And a lot of times it is sometimes the harder
ones that you connect with people over, but there are
shared experiences and a lot of lessons to be learned
they're ahead of us.
Speaker 3 (03:25):
They're way ahead of us.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
In terms of having a very public marriage be on
display and then to continue to have that marriage be
on television or in the headlines by choice. This is
what she does for a living, this is what he
does for a living. So part of their public persona
and their and their couple or their relationship being out
there for fodder is because that's how they make their living,
(03:47):
and that's how we make our living, and so that's
it comes with the territory.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
Okay, I did not make my living, but have our
relationship out there as fodder the record.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
By product.
Speaker 3 (04:00):
Sound.
Speaker 2 (04:01):
I wouldn't choose it. I wouldn't choose that.
Speaker 1 (04:02):
No, But guess what we've been doing here. They are
a couple number two for us. A couple number one
was Tristan Ryan Sutter. But we are asking all these
couples the exact same questions. We have a long list
that we go through and just get their honest answers
and responses, and a lot of that information has been
helpful to us already, and we know a lot of
you all will find it helpful and you'll be able
(04:24):
to relate to a lot of us. Of it as well. So,
without further ado give you our conversation with Tamera and Eddie.
Speaker 3 (04:32):
Jet.
Speaker 4 (04:35):
Thanks for having us. This is so exciting. It's been
like a year since we've we met by each other
last down in Malibu. Oh, so much has gone on
down there unfortunately.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
Oh I know. Wow, y'all have been through it. But
I know you've also made it through so many, so
many occasions in your eleven years together now married. So
I'm going to start our first question is I'm going
to ask each of you this, describe your relationship in
three works. Eddie, I'll start with you.
Speaker 3 (05:07):
New, fun and refreshing.
Speaker 4 (05:11):
Easy, non controlling, well and always fun.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
Well, they have that word to come all right up next,
was there immediate chemistry when you first met each other
all those years ago?
Speaker 4 (05:29):
Yeah, we had like a We kind of have a
funny story about that. I was married and going through
We knew we were going to get divorced, but I
was finishing a season out and part of it was
is we were short selling our house way back then
when everybody was short selling their houses, and Eddie lived
in the neighborhood and a mutual friend of ours took
(05:50):
me to his house to look at it because he
thought about renting it. So, and this is the house
we're in today, and so camera guys behind me. My
friend Marcos is next to me. The door opens, Eddy answers.
I swear he has no shirt on, but he does,
and I'm just like our eyes locked, and my friend
(06:11):
Marcus is like hitting me, like there's cameras behind you.
There's cameras behind you. And it was like immediate, like
when you see like the fireworks. Me evidently shirtless or
he was shirtless, not me, and it was just like
it was an explosion. It really was.
Speaker 3 (06:26):
It really was love at first sight. I never believed
in that, but I experienced when I first looked at
our stars and birds and all this, like I was
hallucinating on drugs or something, you know, not that I've
ever but it felt like a cartoon, like when you
see that on cartoon, you smash the head you watch love.
(06:48):
I'm a looney tune guy.
Speaker 4 (06:50):
So that's that's why he likes me.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
We still watch them sometimes, absolutely do all right, who
made the first moves.
Speaker 3 (07:01):
Me? I think you? Yeah, yeah, I did. Yeah. We
were celebrating the holidays because this was sometime around June
that we met, and then I didn't hear from her
talk to her because I knew she was married for
about six months. Seven months, holidays hit our friend Marcos
again Cupid invited me to some of the same parties
(07:21):
that she was attending, and we just had so much chemistry.
We kept sitting next to each other and you know, talking,
and at one point it was kind of awkward because
I'm having this intimate conversation with her. We really locked
eyes and connected and her ex now husband was standing
right behind her, but I didn't care. I was just
so connected with her.
Speaker 4 (07:40):
Yeah, I literally even though I knew I was getting
divorced and it wasn't working out in my other marriage,
Eddie and I had talked and he said, listen, you
got to figure your shit out. I really like you,
I really want this to go somewhere, but you got
to figure your shit out. So it didn't talk for
a little while, and then I literally left.
Speaker 3 (08:03):
My husband couldn't live without me, and.
Speaker 4 (08:05):
We've been I never dated anybody else. We've been together
ever since. I might say that's cheating. Yeah, I don't
give a shit.
Speaker 1 (08:14):
That's one way to put it. Yeah, Oh, did we
mention we missed you, Tamva. Next question, this is always
a big one in relationships. Who said I love you first?
Speaker 3 (08:26):
I'll let you answer that.
Speaker 4 (08:29):
I don't remember.
Speaker 3 (08:30):
It was me?
Speaker 4 (08:31):
Was it you? It was, oh, I love you too?
Speaker 1 (08:36):
Years later I love that. How long?
Speaker 2 (08:39):
How long did you all date before you got engaged?
And then how long was the engagement.
Speaker 4 (08:45):
We dated? I think it was like a year, right,
and then we got engaged on TV, and then it
was a couple of years, a little over two years
before we actually got married. I think we were together
a little over three years before we walked down the aisle.
Speaker 3 (09:02):
Yeah, it all felt like it happened so fast, though,
because being a public figure and being on TV, it
felt like your world is just going a thousand thousan
an hour. And it felt like we met, fell in love,
moved in together, and got married within six months.
Speaker 4 (09:18):
But it was I kicked him into reality TV?
Speaker 3 (09:20):
And what is this show? Now?
Speaker 1 (09:25):
This next question we might seem to know they answered
based on the chemistry question, you answered did you know
they were the one? And I asked that, I'll ask
the next part of it. Did you always were you
always believers? And there was always a one out there
for you or did something change with this relationship?
Speaker 3 (09:44):
I would say I didn't know she was the one
because having many relationships, I always felt like they were
the one.
Speaker 4 (09:53):
And you know, he's a hopeless romantic.
Speaker 3 (09:56):
I commit one hundred percent to what I do. So
if if that was defined as the one, because nobody
really ever defined that as who's the one? And what
is the one? Mean? Is the one forever? Or is
the one for the next six months?
Speaker 2 (10:11):
You know?
Speaker 3 (10:12):
But the one that you know, I remember that got
away never existed because they were always the one, and
going into this relationship, I honestly didn't think she was
the one. I mean, she had a hundred kids and
a terrible X and you know, there was a lot
of baggage there. And I think you said was the one, Well,
(10:34):
when we first kissed, Diamn, when we first kissed.
Speaker 4 (10:38):
And oh okay, very early on, yeah.
Speaker 3 (10:41):
Very early on. It wasn't too far from the minute
I met you to the time, because you couldn't be
the one because you were married, right, you know, she's
not the one. A lot of baggage. I don't know
what this TV stuff is, and I just went with
it and I let my heart grow into it. And
I discovered I think two months after we dated and
(11:02):
kissed and spent time together that I felt like she
is the one. She's the one I could spend the
rest of my life with. And we have so much
fun together. We have so much in common, and we
do so many things together, and it really is like
having a best friend all the time.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
That sounds ideal. What is your age difference and has
that played a role at all in your relationship?
Speaker 4 (11:23):
So Eddie is five and a half years younger than me,
and depending on if he's like if we're in the
same like if we're in the fifties or the forties together,
like I feel like, oh, no big deal. But now
we're both in our fifties. So he was in his
thirties when I met him, and I had just turned
forty one or two or something like that. And you know,
(11:45):
there's always an issue like did he want kids? Like
is this going to work out? Is he going to
go for somebody younger? But now we're both in our
fifties and I feel like he's older than me.
Speaker 1 (11:55):
Now, okay, we're five years of art four and a half,
it's it's five and a half, who's older, who's older?
Speaker 2 (12:05):
I'm older and he's in his forties, and I so
get that camera because, yeah, we're in the same decade,
because it feels weird when we're in different decades.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
We got several more years of this.
Speaker 4 (12:17):
I just like being in the same decade. I think, like,
once you hit fifty, it's like, okay, you're just old.
But when he's like thirty forty, and I'm like, oh,
I don't like this. And then when I hit fifty
and he was still in his forties, I'm like, damn,
like you got to catch up.
Speaker 3 (12:33):
Well, it seems like every year she adds a year
to my age.
Speaker 4 (12:36):
I forget how old you are.
Speaker 1 (12:37):
Yeah, close, getting closer in age.
Speaker 4 (12:40):
I'm closing that gap.
Speaker 3 (12:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (12:43):
Next question, dear guys, why did you want to take
the step of being married. How do you think your
relationship would be different if you remained a couple but unmarried.
Speaker 4 (12:54):
Wow? I never really thought about not getting married. I
was always like, you know, I always wanted to be married.
I obviously I have been divorced twice. I love being married,
I love having plus having children. I just always wanted
to be married. I never like now at my age.
If something were to happen between us, I would probably
(13:16):
never get married again. I would probably just you know,
if I ever found somebody, it would just be a partner.
But I don't think I would go that route. But
you know, we were both fairly young, and we talked
about having kids and then decided after we got a
robot baby, he couldn't handle it.
Speaker 3 (13:32):
Oh she killed it.
Speaker 4 (13:33):
She stuffed it in the couch coouch because it wasn't
a real baby, it was a robot.
Speaker 3 (13:37):
Me in the morning, and then I found out the
next morning this this robot, Astro is his name, Astro
was under the couch dead, and I'm like, we're not
having kids.
Speaker 4 (13:46):
You just lost the house.
Speaker 2 (13:47):
Okay, Well, I mean so it's you guys made the
right choice.
Speaker 3 (13:54):
Then, I think, yes, definitely.
Speaker 2 (13:58):
Did your relationship have the support of your friends and
your family, Yes.
Speaker 4 (14:04):
Yeah, yeah, coming from a relationship that nobody had my support. Yeah,
they were taking bets at my last wedding how long
it was going to last. So yeah, no. My In fact,
my family has said to me, if anything were to
happen between you guys, if you ever got divorced, we're
keeping Eddie and we're going to throw you out, we're
(14:24):
divorcing you.
Speaker 2 (14:27):
That's a good time that you got a good one.
Speaker 4 (14:29):
Yeah, yeah, how would you all know?
Speaker 1 (14:34):
Next question, how would you describe your first year of marriage?
Speaker 4 (14:39):
I don't think it was that easy. Our first year marriage,
we were also opening up a business together, cut Fitness,
so adding that putting that together, he started working all
the time, he was gone all the time he had
he was working at a law firm, family law firm
and opening up the business at the same time. So
he I went from like seeing so much of him
(15:00):
and then we got married and it's like, Okay, where
are you?
Speaker 3 (15:03):
Where are you?
Speaker 4 (15:04):
So, you know, I think that everybody. I think people
would be lying if they didn't say they went through
growing pains. So we definitely had some ups and downs,
but nothing horrible.
Speaker 3 (15:14):
All I remember is and I don't know that I
could do it today, but it's it's like juggling a
hundred balls in the air. We're filming a reality TV show,
We're opening up a new business, we're moving in together.
Speaker 4 (15:27):
I have three kids.
Speaker 3 (15:28):
We have three kids, and we're getting a dog. And
I never wanted a dog in my house because you know,
they tear up everything. Now, I can't live without my dog.
So it was it was a lot.
Speaker 4 (15:40):
It was possibly more so for me because you know,
he doesn't have any children, and so bringing three kids
into which was his house, which always felt weird to
me because it was his house, and then having to
like make sure, oh my god, did you know my
daughter make a mask? Do I have to clean it up?
Speaker 3 (15:56):
Like?
Speaker 4 (15:57):
Did she not clean it up to it? The dishes
aren't done, like you know, you worry about that. I
don't want him to ever think like, oh god, because
we didn't move in like we were dating. I had
my own house. We didn't really move in until shortly
before the wedding. Yeah, so it was all kind.
Speaker 3 (16:11):
Of nice and that was part of the reason in
our discussions about moving in together. We had to you know,
make it make sense for our kids as well. Can't
just be living together not married and you know, not
that there's anything wrong with that, but for us traditionally,
it made more sense to you know, set up everything
so it's a comfortable transition for the kids. They had
(16:34):
a lot of psychological, you know, challenges to deal with. Yeah,
when that's that's how I got the dog, is because
my son was moving in and that was going to
be his dog, and he was. The dog was here
for about six months before.
Speaker 4 (16:46):
Do you notice how he calls the kids his kids,
So yeah, he always has.
Speaker 3 (16:52):
Yeah, And we wanted the transition to be as comfortable
and smooth as possible so that the kids don't you know,
go to south on us crazy.
Speaker 4 (17:03):
Yeah, well we were working. I mean, it was working
against us because their father was you know, feeding in
terrible stories about me about him, and you know, it
was a difficult transition.
Speaker 2 (17:14):
Divorce is tough, especially public ones. And then yeah, yeah,
we we know exactly how tough that can be. All right,
here's a fun one. How often do you have sex
and how has that changed over the years.
Speaker 4 (17:28):
Oh my god, we used to have it all the time.
Speaker 3 (17:30):
All started with five hours session when we first met.
I think we're down to five seconds. It's only eleven years.
Speaker 2 (17:41):
Here.
Speaker 4 (17:42):
Yeah, you know, the good thing about being married is
you can like look over and go tomorrow, I'm tired. Tomorrow.
Speaker 3 (17:50):
Okay, tomorrow.
Speaker 1 (17:53):
That's a great answer, and that's enough things. A lot
of people can't see this, but we can see you
are right now. You all are actually holding hands and
have been always been sitting it. So that was our
next question. How important is physical touch in your relationship?
And yeah, something as simple as holding hands when you're
walking down the street.
Speaker 3 (18:12):
Do you all do that one hundred percent? I think
that's mostly driven by me. I'm a very touch of
hilly kind of person, and she's completely the opposite. She
hates being touched. She obviously never or and I wouldnt
say never, but hardly ever gets massages, pictures. She just
does not like to be touched. So it's one of
(18:33):
those things like, well can I touch you? Do I
have permission? I mean I got a mirror certificate.
Speaker 4 (18:39):
A very like cold family where nobody touched, nobody hugged,
never said I love you. You know my mom will
still to this day come over and then visit and
where's mom?
Speaker 3 (18:51):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (18:51):
She just the Irish exit. She just decided to leave.
No no goodbyes, no goodbyes.
Speaker 3 (18:56):
Oh okay, no, I don't let her go without hugging me.
Speaker 1 (18:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (19:00):
So he's kind of nurtured me in that way where
like every night we literally fall asleep holding hands every night.
Speaker 2 (19:08):
That is so sweet. I'll take it in the other
direction and ask how often would you say you two fight.
Speaker 3 (19:25):
Anymore. I mean, we've had our battles. I call him
growing pains.
Speaker 4 (19:31):
We're not real big fighters. It used to be because
Eddie kind of holds everything inside. So every six months
he'd have some big explosion about something, and then that
kind of just we worked ourselves through it. I think
in rarely. I would say rarely, I can't even remember
the last time we got into a fight, and I'm
not lying.
Speaker 1 (19:51):
Wow, that's awesome. So do you remember? This is the
next question. What were the things you used to fight about?
Was there a theme to the fights? Were you having
the same fight.
Speaker 3 (20:01):
Usually it's stemmed from kids. No, not really. The biggest
fight we had had was associated with one of the
cast members on the show.
Speaker 4 (20:13):
And oh yeah, and.
Speaker 3 (20:15):
I hate her with the passion because who she is
and what she is and what she and what she's
done to you.
Speaker 1 (20:22):
Does everybody else know that story? We just don't.
Speaker 4 (20:25):
I think you just know it. I mean everybody. I
think to let people know that you don't like this person,
she's just constantly attacking, and it would put me in
a really weird spot because we work together. So how
do I you know, I try to bury it all
and act like it's not happening. So I would invite
(20:45):
her places and he's like, I don't want to be
around this woman. And Eddie loves everybody everyone, So when
he says like he does not want to be around
this person, like he means it, when's the.
Speaker 2 (20:57):
Last time one of you had to say you were
sorry to the other? It sounds like it's been a while.
Speaker 4 (21:02):
No, I don't think I don't have I said sorry.
Speaker 3 (21:05):
I have no problem apologizing or her if I say something.
Speaker 4 (21:07):
But what was the last time.
Speaker 3 (21:12):
I don't know, something stupid, like you know, something I
said or something I did.
Speaker 4 (21:18):
No, you know what, that's not true. You know. I'm
actually going through therapy right now, and I have been
for about three months and so many ups and downs.
I've never taken this journey before, but just going back
into my marriage to you know, being a young kid,
my parents divorce and all that stuff. I had said
to him when I got back from therapy, I was
(21:39):
crying and crying, cright all the way home and cry
there and he's like, what's wrong? And I had said
to him, I said, you are so happy all the time.
You will sit in your office and laugh and laugh,
and I feel like I'm not that person. I shut down,
like I apologize because I felt like I'm not like him,
like he's just always so loving, and I'm I take
(21:59):
things in and I get really like stressed out and
I don't want to be touched and I don't want
to be talked to, and I apologize for being like that,
but not over an argument. It was more about like
what I'm discovering discovering about myself.
Speaker 1 (22:15):
Oh wow, that is interesting. Guys, what is the one thing?
You all don't fight much? But I am curious and
a lot of people would be to know what's the
one thing you know you can do or say to
stop a fight the end? One's a lot of people
woud look for advice when you're in the middle. How
do you just.
Speaker 2 (22:35):
It?
Speaker 3 (22:36):
I don't really know, because we've discovered that our personalities
are such that she likes to resolve it right now problems,
whatever problems they are, and I'm completely the opposite. I
can't solve it right now because I'm going to say
something that I really regret, or I just don't like
to be pushed or pushed into a corner because I'm
(22:56):
going to come out boxing and I'm gonna deckute inadvertently,
and that hit me. No, that's why. Just leave me
alone and give me three weeks to get over it.
I'm just kidding. Yeah, No, give me a day or
two to get over it. I'll compose myself and I
can better communicate. But I can't. I can't be pushed
into a corner without expecting.
Speaker 4 (23:18):
A fight, and that drives me crazy. I've learned to
deal with it, like I just want, like, just get
this over with right, But he'll like just hold a
grudge and walk in a room and not say anything.
And I'm like, oh so now you know, almost fifteen
years into it, I'm like, oh god, let him be
a little little boy and I'll let's be over here
and wait for him to grow up.
Speaker 3 (23:38):
And I just got to go and take some time
to myself. And that way, I don't, you know, say
something I regret, like stop being a little I've been
holding on to that one for.
Speaker 2 (23:53):
A Oh my god, now are you again? You does
like you buy buried often. But are you one of
those couples who says we don't ever go to bed angry.
Speaker 4 (24:05):
I don't like to. I don't like we haven't in
years that I mean, I can't remember last we have,
we have we have, and I feel to me like
that's the worst feeling in the entire world. You can't
get to good night's sleep. Yeah, you know, it's just
it's something I don't like to do. But yes, we
have done it.
Speaker 3 (24:22):
Yeah, I don't like to do it either. But you know,
like I said, sometimes she makes me really upset and
it'll take me a day to just calm down to
be able to talk to her like a civilized human.
Speaker 1 (24:33):
Okay, this next question then, is a good turn for
us all. Eddie, what do you love most about Tamara?
And Tamara? What do you love most about Eddie?
Speaker 4 (24:41):
For me, it's just Eddie's heart. Yes, he is a
good looking guy, but it's his heart. He's just he
loves everybody, everybody, and he's so kind and takes the
time to talk to everybody, and he's very touchy feely,
and he's just he's just a good guy. Nothing sh
about him, nothing unethical, nothing like, just a good person
(25:04):
and just finds the happiness out of every situation that
he's in. Now I'm the total opposite, So I'm like,
I hate everybody. Everybody bugs me.
Speaker 3 (25:16):
I don't want any new friends, so we don't have
any friends.
Speaker 4 (25:21):
So he is the total opposite and it kind of
you know, I love seeing that and I love being
around it and just the positivity it helps me. And
I've definitely grown like I'm starting to like people. Not everybody,
but I'm starting to like them.
Speaker 3 (25:36):
Well, you've just erased your harassments of me talking too
much to people because she gives me a hard time
all the time. Why do you talk to people so long?
When we had the gym, you know, I hear out
my clients.
Speaker 4 (25:48):
Well, you have the gift of gab.
Speaker 3 (25:50):
No, I just like to really, you know, listen to
what people are saying. And that usually.
Speaker 4 (25:55):
Takes He means people at the grocery store. He means
people at you know, Target Costco. They can just he
can get in like he should have been a therapist.
Speaker 3 (26:06):
I don't like chit chat. I don't give a shit
about the weather. I can see it, But you talk
to I will talk to anybody who's willing to listen.
Speaker 2 (26:17):
And Eddie, what do you love most about Tamra?
Speaker 3 (26:19):
I like her free spirit. She really it's sort of
self serving because it makes me feel good to see
her spread her wings and be herself and create this
life that she just loves to live. And that's really
fulfilling to me. So, you know, she has her quirks,
but overall, she's just a beautiful person that just loves
(26:44):
to live life. You know, very stressful life being on
a TV show, especially a reality TV show, but she
still has a little bit of fun and exciting and
just I just like to see her spread her wings
and be herself. I don't. I love that about her.
She's willing to do anything.
Speaker 4 (27:00):
Well and I love that you don't try to control
me because I was in a very controlling relationship, very
controlling like what I could wear, where I could go,
what I could eat, like everything was controlled. In fact,
when I you know, my relationship went further along with Eddie,
I started to feel like he didn't love me because
he wasn't trying to control me. And I always thought
(27:21):
that control meant love because I was around it for
so long and in it so deep, and it wasn't
like that. I was so used to being you know, oh,
you can't go there, you can't do that. Why are
you wearing that? You know? So he just let me
be who I am.
Speaker 1 (27:37):
Right. Next question, the practical one for couples. How do
you handle finances? Shared account separate? How do you do
it all?
Speaker 3 (27:44):
We share everything. I handle the finances. I give her reports,
I give her updates. I want her to take the
steerwheels some day, because if I was to get hit
by a bus, she really doesn't even know how to
look at the finances. It's just scary. But it's all
pretty automated. Everything's organized, and if there was anything to
(28:04):
happen to me, she could hire somebody.
Speaker 4 (28:06):
He's very organized, So it's best that he controls all
the you know, the bills and all that stuff. And
I trust you, Right's kidding? Now, I totally trust him,
and I have access to bank accounts and all that stuff.
But he does a really good job just investing our
money and doing all that kind of stuff where I
(28:28):
would know how to do that.
Speaker 1 (28:29):
That's cool.
Speaker 2 (28:30):
How about the household chores, cooking, cleaning, kids, dog? How
do you all split those kind of mundane things that
can actually end up causing so many problems?
Speaker 4 (28:42):
And really, yeah, Eddie cooks.
Speaker 3 (28:44):
I love to cook.
Speaker 4 (28:45):
He loves to cook, and so he cooks as healthy
meals all the time. Household chores. I'm kind of a
little bit of a clean freaks. I'm always picking things up.
He likes to pile things. This bedside table, there's a
bunch of shit just piled up, but it's all organized.
That drives me crazy. I like everything to be clean,
(29:09):
but I hate doing dishes, and that's.
Speaker 3 (29:12):
I don't do dishes.
Speaker 4 (29:13):
He doesn't do dishes.
Speaker 3 (29:14):
Es Actually, our do dishes. Our very first fight had
to do with dishes. I do dishes a certain way
where I wash them and then or rinse them off,
get all the food off, and I put them in
the dishwasher. She likes to soak them for days and
they just days. They just sit in the sink, and
it drove me insane.
Speaker 4 (29:34):
I just hate doing the dishes. My mom made me
do the dishes every single night, and it was to me,
it was just such a chore. Now a lot of
times we just have Sofia do the dishes.
Speaker 3 (29:43):
Yeah, but should do Sofia should do the dishes for
Sophia as well, because she just loves to do dishes
so much. But because of that fight, I do not
touch the dishes, but I will clean the kitchen. I
will do everything else. We have a house cleaner that
comes once a week. She does the heavy mat and
every other week every the week, I do my own laundry.
Speaker 4 (30:04):
I do my own laundry.
Speaker 3 (30:05):
You just organized that way. I like the way I
do my laundry.
Speaker 4 (30:09):
Sophia does her own laundry.
Speaker 3 (30:11):
Yeah. The only room in the house that I actually
have one hundred percent responsibility to clean is the garage.
And I'm happy with that. I'm just not happy where
everything that, you know, boxes and trash ends up in
the freaking garage.
Speaker 4 (30:24):
Lots of Amazon boxes get thrown in the garage.
Speaker 3 (30:28):
So cleaning the cars, gassing the cars, I like taking
care of that. He puts gas in my car too, services,
oil services. And the dog because the dog is actually
my dog. I have to pick up for it and
walk it and feed it and love it.
Speaker 4 (30:45):
We had a dog that passed away and we had
one year without having a dog, and it was just
there was like a little bit of a break where
you didn't have to pick up the dog poop, you
didn't have to worry about the dog and all that stuff.
And my daughter had just graduated high school and I'm like,
we're home free, really no responsibility and then he wanted
another dog, So I'm like, okay, your dog, you pick
(31:05):
up after it.
Speaker 1 (31:08):
A next question for you here, how much time apart
do you need? How much time do you all spend alone?
Speaker 4 (31:17):
Not much?
Speaker 3 (31:18):
Not much? Yeah, we do. I do cherish the times
I spend alone, and oh thank you. I get those
when I ride my bike, or if I drive to
Big Bird by myself and stay there for a couple
of days by.
Speaker 4 (31:35):
Myself, which doesn't happen very often.
Speaker 3 (31:37):
It doesn't happen very often, but it is so rewarding.
Not rewarding, but like relieving to have a little bit
of self mental time where you got no distractions, no questions, nothing.
And I say that because before I met my wife,
I had a lot of that. I had this big
house by myself and I would no kids, no dogs, nothing,
(31:58):
I would work all day, long day and come home
and just I say this all the time. I can't
walk around naked my own around my own house anymore,
you know, I used to really enjoy that. There's something
sure about that.
Speaker 1 (32:09):
Right.
Speaker 4 (32:10):
No, I don't want to walk past a mirror.
Speaker 3 (32:14):
No.
Speaker 4 (32:16):
Do we spend a lot of time together Now I'm
going into filming season, right, now, So it's going to
take me away a lot, and we travel and stuff
like that. I think that's the most time that we
spend a part. We just got back from Big Bear.
We were there for three days. We have a house there,
so and there we're you know, together the entire time.
That's where we relax. But we also have two offices,
(32:37):
this office and the office next door, which is his.
And I think you all, like I get that sense
like I just need some maytime. I'm going to go
in my office and just kick it, and he usually
goes in his office, and that's kind of our time apart. Yeah,
because we both work out of the house for the
most part.
Speaker 3 (32:54):
We both go to the gym together. Yeah, we do
most majority of the things to do together.
Speaker 2 (32:59):
Yeah, that's really sweet.
Speaker 1 (33:02):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (33:04):
What for you would be a relationship deal breaker like an.
Speaker 3 (33:08):
End cheating cheating? Yeah, infidelity, that would be.
Speaker 4 (33:15):
And I think she.
Speaker 3 (33:17):
Can crash the car, she can burn the house down,
and you know.
Speaker 4 (33:20):
She chased you with a knife, and I'm kidding, no,
it's it's definitely cheating, you know. It's we're so connected
and if he ever cheated, I just feel like I
would never be able to get over it. Ever, and
we don't have children together, so it's always in Emotionally
it's hard, but it's an easier break when you don't
(33:41):
have children together.
Speaker 1 (33:43):
Next question here, have you all been to couples therapy?
Speaker 3 (33:47):
No?
Speaker 4 (33:48):
No, no, never, never ever?
Speaker 2 (33:52):
All right? Is what would be one thing if you
could change about your partner? What would it be?
Speaker 4 (33:58):
How loud he eats?
Speaker 1 (34:00):
Wow?
Speaker 3 (34:01):
How sensitive her ears are? Wow? She has I can't chew,
I can't, I can't breathe, I can't, I can't.
Speaker 4 (34:16):
I have like sensory issues. It's not just him, it's everybody.
So like if somebody talks behind me, like I want
to punch somebody in the.
Speaker 3 (34:26):
Throat, So we have to switch chairs and I'll sit
next to the loud tables. Yeah, she doesn't go berserk. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (34:32):
So like we'll be sitting at dinner at our bar
top in our kitchen and then he'll turn the music on, Alexa,
play music.
Speaker 3 (34:42):
Play anything to save my life here?
Speaker 4 (34:45):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (34:54):
Next question here. I know you don't fight much, but
have you ever in the middle of a heated argument
threatened to break up, threaten to walk out, or even
threaten to get divorced?
Speaker 3 (35:06):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (35:08):
Yeah, watch when well, that one had to been you
because it's not me. I don't do that. I learned
in my last relationship, like when you start threatening divorce
all the time, it just becomes like so repetitive. When
you're fighting, Like we were fighting all the time, I'd
always say like, oh my god, I just want a divorce.
And then once you start saying that like it's truly over,
(35:30):
I think it's over.
Speaker 3 (35:32):
And actually, this is where I give her a lot
of credit because this is one of the biggest lessons
I learned from her. In the beginning, when we would
have big fights, I would say, you know, I'm out,
I'm doone. I don't want to be in this relationship.
And she would always pull me back and kind of
teach me like, no, this is not how it works.
(35:53):
This is marriage. We worked through it, and prior to
my wife, particularly growing and I had very little tolerance
for relationship issues and if there's something happened, I would
just walk away. I'm like, sorry, I'm out.
Speaker 4 (36:08):
You know, he's a runner.
Speaker 3 (36:09):
I'm a runner. And she's changed that for me, and
I see the beauty and that and the value and
that and that fighting are just growing pains that just
bring you closer together. But fortunately there's so many more
good times in bad times that the little things that
we've thought about that that really it helped us grow together.
(36:33):
It didn't it changed me into you know what, I'm
not going to say that anymore because I don't mean that,
and I'm not going to walk away from this relationship.
I'm gonna fight for this relationship. So she taught me that.
Speaker 2 (36:44):
That's really cool. What's the closest you all ever came
to breaking up or to calling it quits.
Speaker 3 (36:50):
I don't think we've ever been there, No, I don't.
Speaker 4 (36:56):
I think in the very beginning, the first year that
we were together, it was just so stressful and so overwhelming.
My ex was writing me hard and you know, brainwashing
children and doing all that that it just got and
doing public stories, stories. It was just so such a
stressful time for us that I mean, I remember one time,
(37:17):
like you took off, you just left, in the middle
of a fight. You just left, and I'm like, wouldn't
pick up his phone, wouldn't return a text message, and
what's gone for? Yeah, I gone for several hours, and
I'm like, well, this is it, this is it? And
he came home. He just needs time to vent and
I wasn't used to that. He just needs to go
and blow some steam and then, you know, come back
(37:40):
and then but then he just kind of acts like
everything's fine. Death that never happened.
Speaker 3 (37:47):
That's you.
Speaker 4 (37:48):
Hey, what do you want for dinner?
Speaker 1 (37:50):
No? You do it?
Speaker 4 (37:51):
Yes you do.
Speaker 3 (37:52):
You know. It's another thing I learned from you.
Speaker 1 (37:54):
When we come out and see you all again, we'll
explain laughing so much, this is you. We don't want
to talk about us.
Speaker 4 (38:01):
Today, exactly, very familiar.
Speaker 1 (38:08):
Last week got about six or seven eight questions. Your
last the next one here, what is the sweetest thing Tamera?
You can remember Eddie doing for you? And the same
question for you was the sweetest My gosh, remembery you
something a standout thing that you were like? Wow.
Speaker 3 (38:25):
The biggest thing I remember is realizing that she is
paying attention to what I like, and that was reflective
in our marriage, our wedding, I should say where at
the time I was a huge gummy bear lover and
used to eat gummy bears all the time. So she
had a five pound gummy bear I've never seen in
(38:47):
my life, and I in my.
Speaker 4 (38:49):
At our wedding a reception, we had a whole gummy
bear bar.
Speaker 3 (38:52):
Yeah, it was gummy bears everywhere. And the other part
is she also knows I'm a big or it used
to be a big cyclist, road cyclist. And she had
the decorator hang aid, the florist, the floors, a bicycle,
a real bicycle road bike upside down with the flowers
at our reception. So and she even had a custom
(39:12):
cake make made with the helmet and the cyclis and
the cycling shoes and the cycling gears. So that really
felt like, oh my god, she really is paying attention
to me. She really does care about me, and that
was that was funny.
Speaker 4 (39:25):
Yeah. I think for him is that like I always
know every Valentine's Day, I'm going to get I don't know,
five dozen roses, like some overwhelming amount. Just the fact
that he really cares about me and takes care of me.
And like he told me last month, he's like, listen,
I don't want you to put gas in your car anymore.
I'm going to do it for you because there's this
(39:49):
girls getting kidnapped and things like that. Like he's really
concerned for my safety all the time.
Speaker 1 (39:54):
Dam it, Eddie, I only gave her a three dozen roads.
Speaker 3 (39:59):
I'll send you a link you can get three for twelve.
Speaker 1 (40:01):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (40:03):
It's sweet when you get so many that you lose
count when you're trying to count how many there are.
Speaker 1 (40:09):
I love that.
Speaker 3 (40:10):
I just don't want it to backfire. I mean, because
if I gat her too many, then she's going to
be pissed because she has to you know, organize put
on seven basis and like that didn't work.
Speaker 2 (40:22):
What would you say the biggest compromise each of you
made by choosing to be together or while like to
make your marriage good, Like if you notice things were
tough to first year, what would you say the biggest
compromise was that you made to make it work.
Speaker 4 (40:37):
That's a tough one. I think probably with the children.
I think that, Yeah, that was probably the toughest thing.
Is you know, I was going through such a bad
divorce and he was trying to turn the children against me.
And when that's happening, when you're in your own household,
(41:01):
you walk on eggshells around your own children.
Speaker 3 (41:04):
Do you remember that?
Speaker 4 (41:05):
And you don't discipline them maybe the way you should,
because you know the father of the children or trying
to turn them against you, and I was really really
letting them get away with a lot of stuff, not
that they were doing anything bad, but it was always like,
you know what, you can't let this person do this
to you and your kids. Like so, I think that
(41:27):
was probably the biggest just learning how to combine a
family together, make everybody happy. That was probably the biggest compromise.
Speaker 3 (41:38):
Yeah, And for me, I don't think it was that
difficult because most of my relationships I've had I think
I've only had two relationships where the woman was childless,
but most of the relationships there was, you know, a
step child involved and I never knew why.
Speaker 4 (41:56):
But prepare you for this match.
Speaker 3 (41:59):
Prepare me for this because I took it as okay.
I see what's going on. I see what he's doing
to the children. I see how she's handling it, and
I have to be able to take a step back
and not be a father figure, but be a just
a friend or a person here for the kids. Because
(42:22):
I know generally wants.
Speaker 4 (42:23):
To be the father figure. He really does his nature,
but it was were so poisoned against.
Speaker 3 (42:30):
Him, it's hard to be that figure. I just saw
chaos happening if I was to try to be a
father even though their father wasn't being a father. I
just didn't feel like I could win that battle. So
it was a big sacrifice for me to just step
back and watch the train wreck happen. But the kids
(42:53):
turned out good, and you know, fortunately it took time
for them to really realize what they were dealing with.
And I think we're at a different stage in our
relationship where the kids are coming around and they're starting
to realize all the lies and stuff that they learned
at a young age. They're starting to get it. So
our relationship is definitely improved.
Speaker 4 (43:14):
They're all older now. Sophia's nineteen. She's the only one left,
you know, she's only one here, so that's awesome.
Speaker 1 (43:22):
Next question for you, did you have a honeymoon phase?
How long would you say it lasted? What did it
evolve into? Which is what phase are you in now?
Speaker 3 (43:32):
Did you catch.
Speaker 4 (43:32):
Oh, we had a really really long honeymoon phase. I
really do think that And some might say, like we're
still in the honeymoon phase because we're always together, We're
always holding hands and things like that. We've always been
super connected. Are we banging ten times a day like
(43:58):
we used to. No, we're older, we're getting tired.
Speaker 3 (44:03):
It's not me.
Speaker 4 (44:05):
I'm tired. I'm sorry.
Speaker 3 (44:07):
Maybe tomorrow, Yeah, tomorrow.
Speaker 4 (44:10):
I got to it tomorrow, all right.
Speaker 2 (44:14):
So final question, everyone always wants to know what the
secret with the key is. What would you say is
the reason why you all have not just made it
for fifteen years but are joyful and still in love
and happy together after all these years. What is it?
Speaker 4 (44:35):
I think respect, Like I respect him and he respects me,
and you know, I don't ever try to stop him
from doing anything, and he does the same for me.
He you know, there was a time where he was
cycling every single day and it's like a big ordeal.
Did I love it?
Speaker 2 (44:55):
No?
Speaker 4 (44:55):
But I knew that he liked it. I knew that
it brought him joy. And yeah, I think it has
to do with respect and being kind to each other.
I'm not a big fan of like calling names, because
I feel like those are things that you can't take back,
and I don't ever want to bring that into this
relationship because as soon as you start doing that, there's
(45:17):
no going backwards. Because your words when you're mad, a
lot of times, it's what you really think and they
can be really mean. You know. It's like that inner
like all my frustrations, like you know, and I just
I'd rather step away than do anything, like, you know,
say something that I can't take back.
Speaker 3 (45:36):
Well, I disagreed, doctor Phil. I think that's why you
have to take some time away so you don't say
things you don't mean. That's what I said, so I
said it under the you know, duress of I don't
want to talk right now. It doesn't mean I mean it,
calling you an asshole or you know whatever. You know,
I just you gotta give me time. Personally, my answer
(46:00):
to that question is it's probably just me. But it's
doing new things together, even if they're small, like going
to a new restaurant, going to a new vacation spot.
Doing for the last three years. For example, we started
writing Harley's together. We started writing eight years ago. We
(46:22):
started writing their bikes together. We used to travel to
new places a lot before COVID. It's just trying new things.
She's so full of life and adventures.
Speaker 4 (46:33):
We're going to ski this year.
Speaker 3 (46:35):
She's going to ski this year.
Speaker 4 (46:36):
We're going to ski this share.
Speaker 3 (46:37):
I don't want to do that.
Speaker 1 (46:43):
I guess that's exciting next.
Speaker 2 (46:46):
But I think that's such good advice because the respect.
I so agree with you camera. If you don't have
respect for someone, and if you lose respect for someone,
it's over, it's over. And staying young with someone, having
fun with someone, trying new things with someone, that's creating
just new connections. I love it. I think that's amazing advice.
Speaker 4 (47:07):
Think you all were.
Speaker 2 (47:08):
So open and candid and real, and I know you
do reality TV, so but no, it was really it
was so awesome to be able to hear thank you
from and how you got to where you are now.
We should all be so lucky.
Speaker 4 (47:26):
Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you.
Speaker 3 (47:28):
We are lucky.
Speaker 1 (47:30):
And hope really we'll see you guys out there. Really,
mister you. We had a blast out there with you all.
Speaker 3 (47:34):
I know, I know coming out.
Speaker 1 (47:37):
We came in for some coverage. Yeah, how are you
all doing out there? I mean, everybody good.
Speaker 4 (47:42):
We're about an hour away from LA because we're in
an Orange County. Lots of people like production people, we
know they all live in LA. A lot of people
have lost their houses and it's just so devastating.
Speaker 1 (48:00):
So yeah, we only came out for that. We might
come out for the Heart Music Awards.
Speaker 4 (48:05):
Yeah, we'll be there.
Speaker 1 (48:08):
That'll be fun. Yeah the next time. But really, guys,
you all are absolutely awesome and we're always looking for
advice ourselves.
Speaker 4 (48:15):
Seriously, I think we all are, honestly.
Speaker 2 (48:19):
Yeah, listening to you guys, we were both like, oh
my god, oh my god, like it it's not just
us right, Like, yes, that happens.
Speaker 1 (48:27):
Hey, I'm like, it gets fun out my face. I
need a minute.
Speaker 4 (48:31):
Yeah, I need a minute.
Speaker 2 (48:32):
I'm like, let's figure this out right now.
Speaker 1 (48:36):
Just please let me let me have it? Can I
have it?
Speaker 2 (48:40):
I was like, what's happening?
Speaker 1 (48:42):
Why? What the hell?
Speaker 4 (48:43):
I was wise?
Speaker 3 (48:44):
Yeah, it took a lot of fights to get for
her to understand it, you know, and for me to
realize some things that, you know, going through the struggles
of learning each other and getting through each other's habit
that we formed.
Speaker 4 (49:01):
I call it the only child syndrome. Here we go,
the only child syndrome. It's all about me. Okay, it's
all about me.
Speaker 1 (49:16):
It's never a good start to come. Here we go.
Speaker 2 (49:19):
There she goes again.
Speaker 1 (49:25):
It is so good to see you all. This is
fun having us. No, thank you all so much for this,
And I promise. We're going to see you all out
there in March, all right, We're gonna make sure we
see y'all.
Speaker 3 (49:36):
Can't wait to hear it by guys
Hey, there're folks. In this episode, we continue our series
love Stories today our second couple, Camera and Eddie Judge,
the real housewife and her husband of eleven years, our
hero to help us, help you. Welcome to the special
Cuffing season edition of Amy and TJ and Robes. These
are two folks who married eleven years and some didn't
(00:24):
think it was going to make it to twelve. They
were having to deal with rumors very recently if something
was going on in their marriage.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Just a couple of weeks ago, Tamar actually felt the
need to say something, to make a statement because there
were so many rumors swirling about their impending divorce, which
is sport for some people, and that's it's sad when
you're on the receiving end of it. So I'm glad
she set the record straight. But based on our conversation,
it's quite the opposite from what the tabloids are trying
(00:51):
to sell.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
You and I'd like and then we could we you
and I could take lessons from Tamra Judge to where
there was something out there floating around. She shut it down,
and it was funny how she shut it down. She
just said, get a life. Is there res fine, it
was that simple, but you could shut it down with
just those words. So we should listen to her Real
Housewives of Orange.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
Count Tony and we've gotten to know her and Eddie
over the past year or so with the iHeart Family
and hearing that she said get a life. That is
just so on brand for her and anyone who watches
obviously Real Housewives knows her. She says exactly what she
thinks and makes no apologies for it. But it's really
(01:34):
cool to see her with her husband Eddie of eleven years,
just interacting with one another. You know, it's one thing
if I were to have just interviewed them, or if
you were to have just interviewed them, it might have
been a little more formal and a little less forthcoming
in terms of what they were comfortable with talking about.
But when it's one couple asking another couple, it's kind
(01:55):
of like the playing field is equal and everyone feels
comfortable sharing secrets that maybe you wouldn't if you were
being interviewed by someone.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
And this is a one hundred percent true story about
these two Tamernetti which who have a huge following. Obviously
that you were even found out about hanging out with
the friend of ours yesterday that just mentioning Tamara Judge's name,
and she just about lost the mind.
Speaker 3 (02:18):
Yes, huge fan, huge fan.
Speaker 1 (02:21):
But when we did, we did. It was our first
real iHeart event. After we had joined the team and
announced our podcast. We went out to California. There was
this big dinner for all the iHeart podcast hosts and
folks that night we met Tamarnetti. That night, we spent
more time talking to Tamarorannetti in a corner just us
(02:44):
hanging out than anybody else. We loved them.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
It was it was great to feel like another couple
understood what it was like to have their lives splashed
out in the headlines and in in not real ways
where you constantly we're dealing with rumors or battling bad headlines.
And so that was an immediate connection we all had together.
(03:07):
And the fact that Tamra this is her second marriage,
so you know, there is camaraderie among folks who have
have had certain events in their lives bring them together.
And a lot of times it is sometimes the harder
ones that you connect with people over, but there are
shared experiences and a lot of lessons to be learned
they're ahead of us.
Speaker 3 (03:25):
They're way ahead of us.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
In terms of having a very public marriage be on
display and then to continue to have that marriage be
on television or in the headlines by choice. This is
what she does for a living, this is what he
does for a living. So part of their public persona
and their and their couple or their relationship being out
there for fodder is because that's how they make their living,
(03:47):
and that's how we make our living, and so that's
it comes with the territory.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
Okay, I did not make my living, but have our
relationship out there as fodder the record.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
By product.
Speaker 3 (04:00):
Sound.
Speaker 2 (04:01):
I wouldn't choose it. I wouldn't choose that.
Speaker 1 (04:02):
No, But guess what we've been doing here. They are
a couple number two for us. A couple number one
was Tristan Ryan Sutter. But we are asking all these
couples the exact same questions. We have a long list
that we go through and just get their honest answers
and responses, and a lot of that information has been
helpful to us already, and we know a lot of
you all will find it helpful and you'll be able
(04:24):
to relate to a lot of us. Of it as well. So,
without further ado give you our conversation with Tamera and Eddie.
Speaker 3 (04:32):
Jet.
Speaker 4 (04:35):
Thanks for having us. This is so exciting. It's been
like a year since we've we met by each other
last down in Malibu. Oh, so much has gone on
down there unfortunately.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
Oh I know. Wow, y'all have been through it. But
I know you've also made it through so many, so
many occasions in your eleven years together now married. So
I'm going to start our first question is I'm going
to ask each of you this, describe your relationship in
three works. Eddie, I'll start with you.
Speaker 3 (05:07):
New, fun and refreshing.
Speaker 4 (05:11):
Easy, non controlling, well and always fun.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
Well, they have that word to come all right up next,
was there immediate chemistry when you first met each other
all those years ago?
Speaker 4 (05:29):
Yeah, we had like a We kind of have a
funny story about that. I was married and going through
We knew we were going to get divorced, but I
was finishing a season out and part of it was
is we were short selling our house way back then
when everybody was short selling their houses, and Eddie lived
in the neighborhood and a mutual friend of ours took
(05:50):
me to his house to look at it because he
thought about renting it. So, and this is the house
we're in today, and so camera guys behind me. My
friend Marcos is next to me. The door opens, Eddy answers.
I swear he has no shirt on, but he does,
and I'm just like our eyes locked, and my friend
(06:11):
Marcus is like hitting me, like there's cameras behind you.
There's cameras behind you. And it was like immediate, like
when you see like the fireworks. Me evidently shirtless or
he was shirtless, not me, and it was just like
it was an explosion. It really was.
Speaker 3 (06:26):
It really was love at first sight. I never believed
in that, but I experienced when I first looked at
our stars and birds and all this, like I was
hallucinating on drugs or something, you know, not that I've
ever but it felt like a cartoon, like when you
see that on cartoon, you smash the head you watch love.
(06:48):
I'm a looney tune guy.
Speaker 4 (06:50):
So that's that's why he likes me.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
We still watch them sometimes, absolutely do all right, who
made the first moves.
Speaker 3 (07:01):
Me? I think you? Yeah, yeah, I did. Yeah. We
were celebrating the holidays because this was sometime around June
that we met, and then I didn't hear from her
talk to her because I knew she was married for
about six months. Seven months, holidays hit our friend Marcos
again Cupid invited me to some of the same parties
(07:21):
that she was attending, and we just had so much chemistry.
We kept sitting next to each other and you know, talking,
and at one point it was kind of awkward because
I'm having this intimate conversation with her. We really locked
eyes and connected and her ex now husband was standing
right behind her, but I didn't care. I was just
so connected with her.
Speaker 4 (07:40):
Yeah, I literally even though I knew I was getting
divorced and it wasn't working out in my other marriage,
Eddie and I had talked and he said, listen, you
got to figure your shit out. I really like you,
I really want this to go somewhere, but you got
to figure your shit out. So it didn't talk for
a little while, and then I literally left.
Speaker 3 (08:03):
My husband couldn't live without me, and.
Speaker 4 (08:05):
We've been I never dated anybody else. We've been together
ever since. I might say that's cheating. Yeah, I don't
give a shit.
Speaker 1 (08:14):
That's one way to put it. Yeah, Oh, did we
mention we missed you, Tamva. Next question, this is always
a big one in relationships. Who said I love you first?
Speaker 3 (08:26):
I'll let you answer that.
Speaker 4 (08:29):
I don't remember.
Speaker 3 (08:30):
It was me?
Speaker 4 (08:31):
Was it you? It was, oh, I love you too?
Speaker 1 (08:36):
Years later I love that. How long?
Speaker 2 (08:39):
How long did you all date before you got engaged?
And then how long was the engagement.
Speaker 4 (08:45):
We dated? I think it was like a year, right,
and then we got engaged on TV, and then it
was a couple of years, a little over two years
before we actually got married. I think we were together
a little over three years before we walked down the aisle.
Speaker 3 (09:02):
Yeah, it all felt like it happened so fast, though,
because being a public figure and being on TV, it
felt like your world is just going a thousand thousan
an hour. And it felt like we met, fell in love,
moved in together, and got married within six months.
Speaker 4 (09:18):
But it was I kicked him into reality TV?
Speaker 3 (09:20):
And what is this show? Now?
Speaker 1 (09:25):
This next question we might seem to know they answered
based on the chemistry question, you answered did you know
they were the one? And I asked that, I'll ask
the next part of it. Did you always were you
always believers? And there was always a one out there
for you or did something change with this relationship?
Speaker 3 (09:44):
I would say I didn't know she was the one
because having many relationships, I always felt like they were
the one.
Speaker 4 (09:53):
And you know, he's a hopeless romantic.
Speaker 3 (09:56):
I commit one hundred percent to what I do. So
if if that was defined as the one, because nobody
really ever defined that as who's the one? And what
is the one? Mean? Is the one forever? Or is
the one for the next six months?
Speaker 2 (10:11):
You know?
Speaker 3 (10:12):
But the one that you know, I remember that got
away never existed because they were always the one, and
going into this relationship, I honestly didn't think she was
the one. I mean, she had a hundred kids and
a terrible X and you know, there was a lot
of baggage there. And I think you said was the one, Well,
(10:34):
when we first kissed, Diamn, when we first kissed.
Speaker 4 (10:38):
And oh okay, very early on, yeah.
Speaker 3 (10:41):
Very early on. It wasn't too far from the minute
I met you to the time, because you couldn't be
the one because you were married, right, you know, she's
not the one. A lot of baggage. I don't know
what this TV stuff is, and I just went with
it and I let my heart grow into it. And
I discovered I think two months after we dated and
(11:02):
kissed and spent time together that I felt like she
is the one. She's the one I could spend the
rest of my life with. And we have so much
fun together. We have so much in common, and we
do so many things together, and it really is like
having a best friend all the time.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
That sounds ideal. What is your age difference and has
that played a role at all in your relationship?
Speaker 4 (11:23):
So Eddie is five and a half years younger than me,
and depending on if he's like if we're in the
same like if we're in the fifties or the forties together,
like I feel like, oh, no big deal. But now
we're both in our fifties. So he was in his
thirties when I met him, and I had just turned
forty one or two or something like that. And you know,
(11:45):
there's always an issue like did he want kids? Like
is this going to work out? Is he going to
go for somebody younger? But now we're both in our
fifties and I feel like he's older than me.
Speaker 1 (11:55):
Now, okay, we're five years of art four and a half,
it's it's five and a half, who's older, who's older?
Speaker 2 (12:05):
I'm older and he's in his forties, and I so
get that camera because, yeah, we're in the same decade,
because it feels weird when we're in different decades.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
We got several more years of this.
Speaker 4 (12:17):
I just like being in the same decade. I think, like,
once you hit fifty, it's like, okay, you're just old.
But when he's like thirty forty, and I'm like, oh,
I don't like this. And then when I hit fifty
and he was still in his forties, I'm like, damn,
like you got to catch up.
Speaker 3 (12:33):
Well, it seems like every year she adds a year
to my age.
Speaker 4 (12:36):
I forget how old you are.
Speaker 1 (12:37):
Yeah, close, getting closer in age.
Speaker 4 (12:40):
I'm closing that gap.
Speaker 3 (12:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (12:43):
Next question, dear guys, why did you want to take
the step of being married. How do you think your
relationship would be different if you remained a couple but unmarried.
Speaker 4 (12:54):
Wow? I never really thought about not getting married. I
was always like, you know, I always wanted to be married.
I obviously I have been divorced twice. I love being married,
I love having plus having children. I just always wanted
to be married. I never like now at my age.
If something were to happen between us, I would probably
(13:16):
never get married again. I would probably just you know,
if I ever found somebody, it would just be a partner.
But I don't think I would go that route. But
you know, we were both fairly young, and we talked
about having kids and then decided after we got a
robot baby, he couldn't handle it.
Speaker 3 (13:32):
Oh she killed it.
Speaker 4 (13:33):
She stuffed it in the couch coouch because it wasn't
a real baby, it was a robot.
Speaker 3 (13:37):
Me in the morning, and then I found out the
next morning this this robot, Astro is his name, Astro
was under the couch dead, and I'm like, we're not
having kids.
Speaker 4 (13:46):
You just lost the house.
Speaker 2 (13:47):
Okay, Well, I mean so it's you guys made the
right choice.
Speaker 3 (13:54):
Then, I think, yes, definitely.
Speaker 2 (13:58):
Did your relationship have the support of your friends and
your family, Yes.
Speaker 4 (14:04):
Yeah, yeah, coming from a relationship that nobody had my support. Yeah,
they were taking bets at my last wedding how long
it was going to last. So yeah, no. My In fact,
my family has said to me, if anything were to
happen between you guys, if you ever got divorced, we're
keeping Eddie and we're going to throw you out, we're
(14:24):
divorcing you.
Speaker 2 (14:27):
That's a good time that you got a good one.
Speaker 4 (14:29):
Yeah, yeah, how would you all know?
Speaker 1 (14:34):
Next question, how would you describe your first year of marriage?
Speaker 4 (14:39):
I don't think it was that easy. Our first year marriage,
we were also opening up a business together, cut Fitness,
so adding that putting that together, he started working all
the time, he was gone all the time he had
he was working at a law firm, family law firm
and opening up the business at the same time. So
he I went from like seeing so much of him
(15:00):
and then we got married and it's like, Okay, where
are you?
Speaker 3 (15:03):
Where are you?
Speaker 4 (15:04):
So, you know, I think that everybody. I think people
would be lying if they didn't say they went through
growing pains. So we definitely had some ups and downs,
but nothing horrible.
Speaker 3 (15:14):
All I remember is and I don't know that I
could do it today, but it's it's like juggling a
hundred balls in the air. We're filming a reality TV show,
We're opening up a new business, we're moving in together.
Speaker 4 (15:27):
I have three kids.
Speaker 3 (15:28):
We have three kids, and we're getting a dog. And
I never wanted a dog in my house because you know,
they tear up everything. Now, I can't live without my dog.
So it was it was a lot.
Speaker 4 (15:40):
It was possibly more so for me because you know,
he doesn't have any children, and so bringing three kids
into which was his house, which always felt weird to
me because it was his house, and then having to
like make sure, oh my god, did you know my
daughter make a mask? Do I have to clean it up?
Speaker 3 (15:56):
Like?
Speaker 4 (15:57):
Did she not clean it up to it? The dishes
aren't done, like you know, you worry about that. I
don't want him to ever think like, oh god, because
we didn't move in like we were dating. I had
my own house. We didn't really move in until shortly
before the wedding. Yeah, so it was all kind.
Speaker 3 (16:11):
Of nice and that was part of the reason in
our discussions about moving in together. We had to you know,
make it make sense for our kids as well. Can't
just be living together not married and you know, not
that there's anything wrong with that, but for us traditionally,
it made more sense to you know, set up everything
so it's a comfortable transition for the kids. They had
(16:34):
a lot of psychological, you know, challenges to deal with. Yeah,
when that's that's how I got the dog, is because
my son was moving in and that was going to
be his dog, and he was. The dog was here
for about six months before.
Speaker 4 (16:46):
Do you notice how he calls the kids his kids,
So yeah, he always has.
Speaker 3 (16:52):
Yeah, And we wanted the transition to be as comfortable
and smooth as possible so that the kids don't you know,
go to south on us crazy.
Speaker 4 (17:03):
Yeah, well we were working. I mean, it was working
against us because their father was you know, feeding in
terrible stories about me about him, and you know, it
was a difficult transition.
Speaker 2 (17:14):
Divorce is tough, especially public ones. And then yeah, yeah,
we we know exactly how tough that can be. All right,
here's a fun one. How often do you have sex
and how has that changed over the years.
Speaker 4 (17:28):
Oh my god, we used to have it all the time.
Speaker 3 (17:30):
All started with five hours session when we first met.
I think we're down to five seconds. It's only eleven years.
Speaker 2 (17:41):
Here.
Speaker 4 (17:42):
Yeah, you know, the good thing about being married is
you can like look over and go tomorrow, I'm tired. Tomorrow.
Speaker 3 (17:50):
Okay, tomorrow.
Speaker 1 (17:53):
That's a great answer, and that's enough things. A lot
of people can't see this, but we can see you
are right now. You all are actually holding hands and
have been always been sitting it. So that was our
next question. How important is physical touch in your relationship?
And yeah, something as simple as holding hands when you're
walking down the street.
Speaker 3 (18:12):
Do you all do that one hundred percent? I think
that's mostly driven by me. I'm a very touch of
hilly kind of person, and she's completely the opposite. She
hates being touched. She obviously never or and I wouldnt
say never, but hardly ever gets massages, pictures. She just
does not like to be touched. So it's one of
(18:33):
those things like, well can I touch you? Do I
have permission? I mean I got a mirror certificate.
Speaker 4 (18:39):
A very like cold family where nobody touched, nobody hugged,
never said I love you. You know my mom will
still to this day come over and then visit and
where's mom?
Speaker 3 (18:51):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (18:51):
She just the Irish exit. She just decided to leave.
No no goodbyes, no goodbyes.
Speaker 3 (18:56):
Oh okay, no, I don't let her go without hugging me.
Speaker 1 (18:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (19:00):
So he's kind of nurtured me in that way where
like every night we literally fall asleep holding hands every night.
Speaker 2 (19:08):
That is so sweet. I'll take it in the other
direction and ask how often would you say you two fight.
Speaker 3 (19:25):
Anymore. I mean, we've had our battles. I call him
growing pains.
Speaker 4 (19:31):
We're not real big fighters. It used to be because
Eddie kind of holds everything inside. So every six months
he'd have some big explosion about something, and then that
kind of just we worked ourselves through it. I think
in rarely. I would say rarely, I can't even remember
the last time we got into a fight, and I'm
not lying.
Speaker 1 (19:51):
Wow, that's awesome. So do you remember? This is the
next question. What were the things you used to fight about?
Was there a theme to the fights? Were you having
the same fight.
Speaker 3 (20:01):
Usually it's stemmed from kids. No, not really. The biggest
fight we had had was associated with one of the
cast members on the show.
Speaker 4 (20:13):
And oh yeah, and.
Speaker 3 (20:15):
I hate her with the passion because who she is
and what she is and what she and what she's
done to you.
Speaker 1 (20:22):
Does everybody else know that story? We just don't.
Speaker 4 (20:25):
I think you just know it. I mean everybody. I
think to let people know that you don't like this person,
she's just constantly attacking, and it would put me in
a really weird spot because we work together. So how
do I you know, I try to bury it all
and act like it's not happening. So I would invite
(20:45):
her places and he's like, I don't want to be
around this woman. And Eddie loves everybody everyone, So when
he says like he does not want to be around
this person, like he means it, when's the.
Speaker 2 (20:57):
Last time one of you had to say you were
sorry to the other? It sounds like it's been a while.
Speaker 4 (21:02):
No, I don't think I don't have I said sorry.
Speaker 3 (21:05):
I have no problem apologizing or her if I say something.
Speaker 4 (21:07):
But what was the last time.
Speaker 3 (21:12):
I don't know, something stupid, like you know, something I
said or something I did.
Speaker 4 (21:18):
No, you know what, that's not true. You know. I'm
actually going through therapy right now, and I have been
for about three months and so many ups and downs.
I've never taken this journey before, but just going back
into my marriage to you know, being a young kid,
my parents divorce and all that stuff. I had said
to him when I got back from therapy, I was
(21:39):
crying and crying, cright all the way home and cry
there and he's like, what's wrong? And I had said
to him, I said, you are so happy all the time.
You will sit in your office and laugh and laugh,
and I feel like I'm not that person. I shut down,
like I apologize because I felt like I'm not like him,
like he's just always so loving, and I'm I take
(21:59):
things in and I get really like stressed out and
I don't want to be touched and I don't want
to be talked to, and I apologize for being like that,
but not over an argument. It was more about like
what I'm discovering discovering about myself.
Speaker 1 (22:15):
Oh wow, that is interesting. Guys, what is the one thing?
You all don't fight much? But I am curious and
a lot of people would be to know what's the
one thing you know you can do or say to
stop a fight the end? One's a lot of people
woud look for advice when you're in the middle. How
do you just.
Speaker 2 (22:35):
It?
Speaker 3 (22:36):
I don't really know, because we've discovered that our personalities
are such that she likes to resolve it right now problems,
whatever problems they are, and I'm completely the opposite. I
can't solve it right now because I'm going to say
something that I really regret, or I just don't like
to be pushed or pushed into a corner because I'm
(22:56):
going to come out boxing and I'm gonna deckute inadvertently,
and that hit me. No, that's why. Just leave me
alone and give me three weeks to get over it.
I'm just kidding. Yeah, No, give me a day or
two to get over it. I'll compose myself and I
can better communicate. But I can't. I can't be pushed
into a corner without expecting.
Speaker 4 (23:18):
A fight, and that drives me crazy. I've learned to
deal with it, like I just want, like, just get
this over with right, But he'll like just hold a
grudge and walk in a room and not say anything.
And I'm like, oh so now you know, almost fifteen
years into it, I'm like, oh god, let him be
a little little boy and I'll let's be over here
and wait for him to grow up.
Speaker 3 (23:38):
And I just got to go and take some time
to myself. And that way, I don't, you know, say
something I regret, like stop being a little I've been
holding on to that one for.
Speaker 2 (23:53):
A Oh my god, now are you again? You does
like you buy buried often. But are you one of
those couples who says we don't ever go to bed angry.
Speaker 4 (24:05):
I don't like to. I don't like we haven't in
years that I mean, I can't remember last we have,
we have we have, and I feel to me like
that's the worst feeling in the entire world. You can't
get to good night's sleep. Yeah, you know, it's just
it's something I don't like to do. But yes, we
have done it.
Speaker 3 (24:22):
Yeah, I don't like to do it either. But you know,
like I said, sometimes she makes me really upset and
it'll take me a day to just calm down to
be able to talk to her like a civilized human.
Speaker 1 (24:33):
Okay, this next question then, is a good turn for
us all. Eddie, what do you love most about Tamara?
And Tamara? What do you love most about Eddie?
Speaker 4 (24:41):
For me, it's just Eddie's heart. Yes, he is a
good looking guy, but it's his heart. He's just he
loves everybody, everybody, and he's so kind and takes the
time to talk to everybody, and he's very touchy feely,
and he's just he's just a good guy. Nothing sh
about him, nothing unethical, nothing like, just a good person
(25:04):
and just finds the happiness out of every situation that
he's in. Now I'm the total opposite, So I'm like,
I hate everybody. Everybody bugs me.
Speaker 3 (25:16):
I don't want any new friends, so we don't have
any friends.
Speaker 4 (25:21):
So he is the total opposite and it kind of
you know, I love seeing that and I love being
around it and just the positivity it helps me. And
I've definitely grown like I'm starting to like people. Not everybody,
but I'm starting to like them.
Speaker 3 (25:36):
Well, you've just erased your harassments of me talking too
much to people because she gives me a hard time
all the time. Why do you talk to people so long?
When we had the gym, you know, I hear out
my clients.
Speaker 4 (25:48):
Well, you have the gift of gab.
Speaker 3 (25:50):
No, I just like to really, you know, listen to
what people are saying. And that usually.
Speaker 4 (25:55):
Takes He means people at the grocery store. He means
people at you know, Target Costco. They can just he
can get in like he should have been a therapist.
Speaker 3 (26:06):
I don't like chit chat. I don't give a shit
about the weather. I can see it, But you talk
to I will talk to anybody who's willing to listen.
Speaker 2 (26:17):
And Eddie, what do you love most about Tamra?
Speaker 3 (26:19):
I like her free spirit. She really it's sort of
self serving because it makes me feel good to see
her spread her wings and be herself and create this
life that she just loves to live. And that's really
fulfilling to me. So, you know, she has her quirks,
but overall, she's just a beautiful person that just loves
(26:44):
to live life. You know, very stressful life being on
a TV show, especially a reality TV show, but she
still has a little bit of fun and exciting and
just I just like to see her spread her wings
and be herself. I don't. I love that about her.
She's willing to do anything.
Speaker 4 (27:00):
Well and I love that you don't try to control
me because I was in a very controlling relationship, very
controlling like what I could wear, where I could go,
what I could eat, like everything was controlled. In fact,
when I you know, my relationship went further along with Eddie,
I started to feel like he didn't love me because
he wasn't trying to control me. And I always thought
(27:21):
that control meant love because I was around it for
so long and in it so deep, and it wasn't
like that. I was so used to being you know, oh,
you can't go there, you can't do that. Why are
you wearing that? You know? So he just let me
be who I am.
Speaker 1 (27:37):
Right. Next question, the practical one for couples. How do
you handle finances? Shared account separate? How do you do
it all?
Speaker 3 (27:44):
We share everything. I handle the finances. I give her reports,
I give her updates. I want her to take the
steerwheels some day, because if I was to get hit
by a bus, she really doesn't even know how to
look at the finances. It's just scary. But it's all
pretty automated. Everything's organized, and if there was anything to
(28:04):
happen to me, she could hire somebody.
Speaker 4 (28:06):
He's very organized, So it's best that he controls all
the you know, the bills and all that stuff. And
I trust you, Right's kidding? Now, I totally trust him,
and I have access to bank accounts and all that stuff.
But he does a really good job just investing our
money and doing all that kind of stuff where I
(28:28):
would know how to do that.
Speaker 1 (28:29):
That's cool.
Speaker 2 (28:30):
How about the household chores, cooking, cleaning, kids, dog? How
do you all split those kind of mundane things that
can actually end up causing so many problems?
Speaker 4 (28:42):
And really, yeah, Eddie cooks.
Speaker 3 (28:44):
I love to cook.
Speaker 4 (28:45):
He loves to cook, and so he cooks as healthy
meals all the time. Household chores. I'm kind of a
little bit of a clean freaks. I'm always picking things up.
He likes to pile things. This bedside table, there's a
bunch of shit just piled up, but it's all organized.
That drives me crazy. I like everything to be clean,
(29:09):
but I hate doing dishes, and that's.
Speaker 3 (29:12):
I don't do dishes.
Speaker 4 (29:13):
He doesn't do dishes.
Speaker 3 (29:14):
Es Actually, our do dishes. Our very first fight had
to do with dishes. I do dishes a certain way
where I wash them and then or rinse them off,
get all the food off, and I put them in
the dishwasher. She likes to soak them for days and
they just days. They just sit in the sink, and
it drove me insane.
Speaker 4 (29:34):
I just hate doing the dishes. My mom made me
do the dishes every single night, and it was to me,
it was just such a chore. Now a lot of
times we just have Sofia do the dishes.
Speaker 3 (29:43):
Yeah, but should do Sofia should do the dishes for
Sophia as well, because she just loves to do dishes
so much. But because of that fight, I do not
touch the dishes, but I will clean the kitchen. I
will do everything else. We have a house cleaner that
comes once a week. She does the heavy mat and
every other week every the week, I do my own laundry.
Speaker 4 (30:04):
I do my own laundry.
Speaker 3 (30:05):
You just organized that way. I like the way I
do my laundry.
Speaker 4 (30:09):
Sophia does her own laundry.
Speaker 3 (30:11):
Yeah. The only room in the house that I actually
have one hundred percent responsibility to clean is the garage.
And I'm happy with that. I'm just not happy where
everything that, you know, boxes and trash ends up in
the freaking garage.
Speaker 4 (30:24):
Lots of Amazon boxes get thrown in the garage.
Speaker 3 (30:28):
So cleaning the cars, gassing the cars, I like taking
care of that. He puts gas in my car too, services,
oil services. And the dog because the dog is actually
my dog. I have to pick up for it and
walk it and feed it and love it.
Speaker 4 (30:45):
We had a dog that passed away and we had
one year without having a dog, and it was just
there was like a little bit of a break where
you didn't have to pick up the dog poop, you
didn't have to worry about the dog and all that stuff.
And my daughter had just graduated high school and I'm like,
we're home free, really no responsibility and then he wanted
another dog, So I'm like, okay, your dog, you pick
(31:05):
up after it.
Speaker 1 (31:08):
A next question for you here, how much time apart
do you need? How much time do you all spend alone?
Speaker 4 (31:17):
Not much?
Speaker 3 (31:18):
Not much? Yeah, we do. I do cherish the times
I spend alone, and oh thank you. I get those
when I ride my bike, or if I drive to
Big Bird by myself and stay there for a couple
of days by.
Speaker 4 (31:35):
Myself, which doesn't happen very often.
Speaker 3 (31:37):
It doesn't happen very often, but it is so rewarding.
Not rewarding, but like relieving to have a little bit
of self mental time where you got no distractions, no questions, nothing.
And I say that because before I met my wife,
I had a lot of that. I had this big
house by myself and I would no kids, no dogs, nothing,
(31:58):
I would work all day, long day and come home
and just I say this all the time. I can't
walk around naked my own around my own house anymore,
you know, I used to really enjoy that. There's something
sure about that.
Speaker 1 (32:09):
Right.
Speaker 4 (32:10):
No, I don't want to walk past a mirror.
Speaker 3 (32:14):
No.
Speaker 4 (32:16):
Do we spend a lot of time together Now I'm
going into filming season, right, now, So it's going to
take me away a lot, and we travel and stuff
like that. I think that's the most time that we
spend a part. We just got back from Big Bear.
We were there for three days. We have a house there,
so and there we're you know, together the entire time.
That's where we relax. But we also have two offices,
(32:37):
this office and the office next door, which is his.
And I think you all, like I get that sense
like I just need some maytime. I'm going to go
in my office and just kick it, and he usually
goes in his office, and that's kind of our time apart. Yeah,
because we both work out of the house for the
most part.
Speaker 3 (32:54):
We both go to the gym together. Yeah, we do
most majority of the things to do together.
Speaker 2 (32:59):
Yeah, that's really sweet.
Speaker 1 (33:02):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (33:04):
What for you would be a relationship deal breaker like an.
Speaker 3 (33:08):
End cheating cheating? Yeah, infidelity, that would be.
Speaker 4 (33:15):
And I think she.
Speaker 3 (33:17):
Can crash the car, she can burn the house down,
and you know.
Speaker 4 (33:20):
She chased you with a knife, and I'm kidding, no,
it's it's definitely cheating, you know. It's we're so connected
and if he ever cheated, I just feel like I
would never be able to get over it. Ever, and
we don't have children together, so it's always in Emotionally
it's hard, but it's an easier break when you don't
(33:41):
have children together.
Speaker 1 (33:43):
Next question here, have you all been to couples therapy?
Speaker 3 (33:47):
No?
Speaker 4 (33:48):
No, no, never, never ever?
Speaker 2 (33:52):
All right? Is what would be one thing if you
could change about your partner? What would it be?
Speaker 4 (33:58):
How loud he eats?
Speaker 1 (34:00):
Wow?
Speaker 3 (34:01):
How sensitive her ears are? Wow? She has I can't chew,
I can't, I can't breathe, I can't, I can't.
Speaker 4 (34:16):
I have like sensory issues. It's not just him, it's everybody.
So like if somebody talks behind me, like I want
to punch somebody in the.
Speaker 3 (34:26):
Throat, So we have to switch chairs and I'll sit
next to the loud tables. Yeah, she doesn't go berserk. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (34:32):
So like we'll be sitting at dinner at our bar
top in our kitchen and then he'll turn the music on, Alexa,
play music.
Speaker 3 (34:42):
Play anything to save my life here?
Speaker 4 (34:45):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (34:54):
Next question here. I know you don't fight much, but
have you ever in the middle of a heated argument
threatened to break up, threaten to walk out, or even
threaten to get divorced?
Speaker 3 (35:06):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (35:08):
Yeah, watch when well, that one had to been you
because it's not me. I don't do that. I learned
in my last relationship, like when you start threatening divorce
all the time, it just becomes like so repetitive. When
you're fighting, Like we were fighting all the time, I'd
always say like, oh my god, I just want a divorce.
And then once you start saying that like it's truly over,
(35:30):
I think it's over.
Speaker 3 (35:32):
And actually, this is where I give her a lot
of credit because this is one of the biggest lessons
I learned from her. In the beginning, when we would
have big fights, I would say, you know, I'm out,
I'm doone. I don't want to be in this relationship.
And she would always pull me back and kind of
teach me like, no, this is not how it works.
(35:53):
This is marriage. We worked through it, and prior to
my wife, particularly growing and I had very little tolerance
for relationship issues and if there's something happened, I would
just walk away. I'm like, sorry, I'm out.
Speaker 4 (36:08):
You know, he's a runner.
Speaker 3 (36:09):
I'm a runner. And she's changed that for me, and
I see the beauty and that and the value and
that and that fighting are just growing pains that just
bring you closer together. But fortunately there's so many more
good times in bad times that the little things that
we've thought about that that really it helped us grow together.
(36:33):
It didn't it changed me into you know what, I'm
not going to say that anymore because I don't mean that,
and I'm not going to walk away from this relationship.
I'm gonna fight for this relationship. So she taught me that.
Speaker 2 (36:44):
That's really cool. What's the closest you all ever came
to breaking up or to calling it quits.
Speaker 3 (36:50):
I don't think we've ever been there, No, I don't.
Speaker 4 (36:56):
I think in the very beginning, the first year that
we were together, it was just so stressful and so overwhelming.
My ex was writing me hard and you know, brainwashing
children and doing all that that it just got and
doing public stories, stories. It was just so such a
stressful time for us that I mean, I remember one time,
(37:17):
like you took off, you just left, in the middle
of a fight. You just left, and I'm like, wouldn't
pick up his phone, wouldn't return a text message, and
what's gone for? Yeah, I gone for several hours, and
I'm like, well, this is it, this is it? And
he came home. He just needs time to vent and
I wasn't used to that. He just needs to go
and blow some steam and then, you know, come back
(37:40):
and then but then he just kind of acts like
everything's fine. Death that never happened.
Speaker 3 (37:47):
That's you.
Speaker 4 (37:48):
Hey, what do you want for dinner?
Speaker 1 (37:50):
No? You do it?
Speaker 4 (37:51):
Yes you do.
Speaker 3 (37:52):
You know. It's another thing I learned from you.
Speaker 1 (37:54):
When we come out and see you all again, we'll
explain laughing so much, this is you. We don't want
to talk about us.
Speaker 4 (38:01):
Today, exactly, very familiar.
Speaker 1 (38:08):
Last week got about six or seven eight questions. Your
last the next one here, what is the sweetest thing Tamera?
You can remember Eddie doing for you? And the same
question for you was the sweetest My gosh, remembery you
something a standout thing that you were like? Wow.
Speaker 3 (38:25):
The biggest thing I remember is realizing that she is
paying attention to what I like, and that was reflective
in our marriage, our wedding, I should say where at
the time I was a huge gummy bear lover and
used to eat gummy bears all the time. So she
had a five pound gummy bear I've never seen in
(38:47):
my life, and I in my.
Speaker 4 (38:49):
At our wedding a reception, we had a whole gummy
bear bar.
Speaker 3 (38:52):
Yeah, it was gummy bears everywhere. And the other part
is she also knows I'm a big or it used
to be a big cyclist, road cyclist. And she had
the decorator hang aid, the florist, the floors, a bicycle,
a real bicycle road bike upside down with the flowers
at our reception. So and she even had a custom
(39:12):
cake make made with the helmet and the cyclis and
the cycling shoes and the cycling gears. So that really
felt like, oh my god, she really is paying attention
to me. She really does care about me, and that
was that was funny.
Speaker 4 (39:25):
Yeah. I think for him is that like I always
know every Valentine's Day, I'm going to get I don't know,
five dozen roses, like some overwhelming amount. Just the fact
that he really cares about me and takes care of me.
And like he told me last month, he's like, listen,
I don't want you to put gas in your car anymore.
I'm going to do it for you because there's this
(39:49):
girls getting kidnapped and things like that. Like he's really
concerned for my safety all the time.
Speaker 1 (39:54):
Dam it, Eddie, I only gave her a three dozen roads.
Speaker 3 (39:59):
I'll send you a link you can get three for twelve.
Speaker 1 (40:01):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (40:03):
It's sweet when you get so many that you lose
count when you're trying to count how many there are.
Speaker 1 (40:09):
I love that.
Speaker 3 (40:10):
I just don't want it to backfire. I mean, because
if I gat her too many, then she's going to
be pissed because she has to you know, organize put
on seven basis and like that didn't work.
Speaker 2 (40:22):
What would you say the biggest compromise each of you
made by choosing to be together or while like to
make your marriage good, Like if you notice things were
tough to first year, what would you say the biggest
compromise was that you made to make it work.
Speaker 4 (40:37):
That's a tough one. I think probably with the children.
I think that, Yeah, that was probably the toughest thing.
Is you know, I was going through such a bad
divorce and he was trying to turn the children against me.
And when that's happening, when you're in your own household,
(41:01):
you walk on eggshells around your own children.
Speaker 3 (41:04):
Do you remember that?
Speaker 4 (41:05):
And you don't discipline them maybe the way you should,
because you know the father of the children or trying
to turn them against you, and I was really really
letting them get away with a lot of stuff, not
that they were doing anything bad, but it was always like,
you know what, you can't let this person do this
to you and your kids. Like so, I think that
(41:27):
was probably the biggest just learning how to combine a
family together, make everybody happy. That was probably the biggest compromise.
Speaker 3 (41:38):
Yeah, And for me, I don't think it was that
difficult because most of my relationships I've had I think
I've only had two relationships where the woman was childless,
but most of the relationships there was, you know, a
step child involved and I never knew why.
Speaker 4 (41:56):
But prepare you for this match.
Speaker 3 (41:59):
Prepare me for this because I took it as okay.
I see what's going on. I see what he's doing
to the children. I see how she's handling it, and
I have to be able to take a step back
and not be a father figure, but be a just
a friend or a person here for the kids. Because
(42:22):
I know generally wants.
Speaker 4 (42:23):
To be the father figure. He really does his nature,
but it was were so poisoned against.
Speaker 3 (42:30):
Him, it's hard to be that figure. I just saw
chaos happening if I was to try to be a
father even though their father wasn't being a father. I
just didn't feel like I could win that battle. So
it was a big sacrifice for me to just step
back and watch the train wreck happen. But the kids
(42:53):
turned out good, and you know, fortunately it took time
for them to really realize what they were dealing with.
And I think we're at a different stage in our
relationship where the kids are coming around and they're starting
to realize all the lies and stuff that they learned
at a young age. They're starting to get it. So
our relationship is definitely improved.
Speaker 4 (43:14):
They're all older now. Sophia's nineteen. She's the only one left,
you know, she's only one here, so that's awesome.
Speaker 1 (43:22):
Next question for you, did you have a honeymoon phase?
How long would you say it lasted? What did it
evolve into? Which is what phase are you in now?
Speaker 3 (43:32):
Did you catch.
Speaker 4 (43:32):
Oh, we had a really really long honeymoon phase. I
really do think that And some might say, like we're
still in the honeymoon phase because we're always together, We're
always holding hands and things like that. We've always been
super connected. Are we banging ten times a day like
(43:58):
we used to. No, we're older, we're getting tired.
Speaker 3 (44:03):
It's not me.
Speaker 4 (44:05):
I'm tired. I'm sorry.
Speaker 3 (44:07):
Maybe tomorrow, Yeah, tomorrow.
Speaker 4 (44:10):
I got to it tomorrow, all right.
Speaker 2 (44:14):
So final question, everyone always wants to know what the
secret with the key is. What would you say is
the reason why you all have not just made it
for fifteen years but are joyful and still in love
and happy together after all these years. What is it?
Speaker 4 (44:35):
I think respect, Like I respect him and he respects me,
and you know, I don't ever try to stop him
from doing anything, and he does the same for me.
He you know, there was a time where he was
cycling every single day and it's like a big ordeal.
Did I love it?
Speaker 2 (44:55):
No?
Speaker 4 (44:55):
But I knew that he liked it. I knew that
it brought him joy. And yeah, I think it has
to do with respect and being kind to each other.
I'm not a big fan of like calling names, because
I feel like those are things that you can't take back,
and I don't ever want to bring that into this
relationship because as soon as you start doing that, there's
(45:17):
no going backwards. Because your words when you're mad, a
lot of times, it's what you really think and they
can be really mean. You know. It's like that inner
like all my frustrations, like you know, and I just
I'd rather step away than do anything, like, you know,
say something that I can't take back.
Speaker 3 (45:36):
Well, I disagreed, doctor Phil. I think that's why you
have to take some time away so you don't say
things you don't mean. That's what I said, so I
said it under the you know, duress of I don't
want to talk right now. It doesn't mean I mean it,
calling you an asshole or you know whatever. You know,
I just you gotta give me time. Personally, my answer
(46:00):
to that question is it's probably just me. But it's
doing new things together, even if they're small, like going
to a new restaurant, going to a new vacation spot.
Doing for the last three years. For example, we started
writing Harley's together. We started writing eight years ago. We
(46:22):
started writing their bikes together. We used to travel to
new places a lot before COVID. It's just trying new things.
She's so full of life and adventures.
Speaker 4 (46:33):
We're going to ski this year.
Speaker 3 (46:35):
She's going to ski this year.
Speaker 4 (46:36):
We're going to ski this share.
Speaker 3 (46:37):
I don't want to do that.
Speaker 1 (46:43):
I guess that's exciting next.
Speaker 2 (46:46):
But I think that's such good advice because the respect.
I so agree with you camera. If you don't have
respect for someone, and if you lose respect for someone,
it's over, it's over. And staying young with someone, having
fun with someone, trying new things with someone, that's creating
just new connections. I love it. I think that's amazing advice.
Speaker 4 (47:07):
Think you all were.
Speaker 2 (47:08):
So open and candid and real, and I know you
do reality TV, so but no, it was really it
was so awesome to be able to hear thank you
from and how you got to where you are now.
We should all be so lucky.
Speaker 4 (47:26):
Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you.
Speaker 3 (47:28):
We are lucky.
Speaker 1 (47:30):
And hope really we'll see you guys out there. Really,
mister you. We had a blast out there with you all.
Speaker 3 (47:34):
I know, I know coming out.
Speaker 1 (47:37):
We came in for some coverage. Yeah, how are you
all doing out there? I mean, everybody good.
Speaker 4 (47:42):
We're about an hour away from LA because we're in
an Orange County. Lots of people like production people, we
know they all live in LA. A lot of people
have lost their houses and it's just so devastating.
Speaker 1 (48:00):
So yeah, we only came out for that. We might
come out for the Heart Music Awards.
Speaker 4 (48:05):
Yeah, we'll be there.
Speaker 1 (48:08):
That'll be fun. Yeah the next time. But really, guys,
you all are absolutely awesome and we're always looking for
advice ourselves.
Speaker 4 (48:15):
Seriously, I think we all are, honestly.
Speaker 2 (48:19):
Yeah, listening to you guys, we were both like, oh
my god, oh my god, like it it's not just
us right, Like, yes, that happens.
Speaker 1 (48:27):
Hey, I'm like, it gets fun out my face. I
need a minute.
Speaker 4 (48:31):
Yeah, I need a minute.
Speaker 2 (48:32):
I'm like, let's figure this out right now.
Speaker 1 (48:36):
Just please let me let me have it? Can I
have it?
Speaker 2 (48:40):
I was like, what's happening?
Speaker 1 (48:42):
Why? What the hell?
Speaker 4 (48:43):
I was wise?
Speaker 3 (48:44):
Yeah, it took a lot of fights to get for
her to understand it, you know, and for me to
realize some things that, you know, going through the struggles
of learning each other and getting through each other's habit
that we formed.
Speaker 4 (49:01):
I call it the only child syndrome. Here we go,
the only child syndrome. It's all about me. Okay, it's
all about me.
Speaker 1 (49:16):
It's never a good start to come. Here we go.
Speaker 2 (49:19):
There she goes again.
Speaker 1 (49:25):
It is so good to see you all. This is
fun having us. No, thank you all so much for this,
And I promise. We're going to see you all out
there in March, all right, We're gonna make sure we
see y'all.
Speaker 3 (49:36):
Can't wait to hear it by guys
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