July 30, 2024 • 37 mins
The story of the UPS driver who almost committed suicide, found healing, and accidentally started a viral ministry of delivering good vibes through dance. Today Russell is better known as “The Dancing UPS Man”, with 1.6 million followers on TikTok and 1.2 million on Instagram.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
And so off the cuff, you go back to the
days with your mom and you record yourself doing a little.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
Dance Vanilla ice ice ice baby, yeah, Ice ice baby Yeah.
It was like, I mean, like you said in the
height of COVID, I was like, dude, can we just
change the conversation? And again, like I don't discredit how
serious that time was, but I was like, can we smile?
Speaker 3 (00:30):
Can we laugh?
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Can we just change the conversation a little bit? So
drop my phone down, put on ice sized baby.
Speaker 4 (00:38):
Literally just on a wheel.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
Just put your phone down and say, let me see
how this recording thing.
Speaker 3 (00:43):
Mark as it.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
And within twenty four hours it had three point five
million views and.
Speaker 3 (00:52):
Just comments or comments. But you made my day.
Speaker 1 (01:06):
Welcome to an army of normal folks. I'm Bill Courtney.
I'm a normal guy. I'm a husband, I'm a father,
I'm an entrepreneur, and I've been a football.
Speaker 4 (01:15):
Coach an inner city Memphis.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
And that last part it somehow led to an oscar
for the film about our team. That movie is called Undefeated.
Speaker 4 (01:25):
Y'all.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
I believe our country's problems will never be solved by
a bunch of fancy people in nice suits using big
words that nobody ever uses on CNN and Fox, but
rather by an army of normal folks us just you
and me deciding, hey, I can help. That's what Russell Butler,
the voice we just heard, has done. And those three
(01:48):
point five million views eventually turned into one point two
million followers on Instagram and one point six million followers
on TikTok, and Russell became known as the Dancing ups Man.
But in spite of his fame, he's still a normal dude,
delivering packages with ups and delivering on his ministry of
(02:11):
sharing good vibes through dance. I cannot wait for you
to meet Russell right after these brief messages for March
Ender sponsors, Russell Butler, Welcome to Memphis, bro By Man,
(02:43):
and it's you know, we're here on a Saturday morning, which.
Speaker 4 (02:48):
That's my off time.
Speaker 1 (02:49):
Yes, sir, mine too well. But here's the thing. When
we tried to get you down here, it was hilarious.
You know, we're an army of normal folks, right, and
why you couldn't come down here. You had to shift,
You had to deliver packages twelve hours a day. Maybe
it's I mean you were working yesterday.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
I was I was telling Alex, I didn't get off
till almost nine o'clock last night, Yes, sir.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
And caught a plane at four this morning.
Speaker 3 (03:17):
Yeah, that flight was fun.
Speaker 4 (03:19):
Yeah, you're welcome.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
So when you were landing in the Memphis Airport and
you flew over those massive, beautiful white with the red
FedEx tail coming in and you're flying over the world
headquarters of FedEx in the hub, did you feel like
you crossed over into enemy or territory?
Speaker 3 (03:41):
Exactly? Exactly.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
Hey, but I don't know if you saw my One
of my recent posts was so that's the still much
love and much respect to all delivery drivers.
Speaker 3 (03:53):
Were all in it together. We're all doing the same job.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
But I danced in front of a FedEx truck and
the dude was like.
Speaker 3 (03:59):
Oh for it, bro, the fed were you ups stup?
Speaker 1 (04:04):
You were brown dancing from the Fedextra and the FedEx drivers.
Speaker 2 (04:07):
Like, I call it out ups and FedEx and said,
who's better?
Speaker 4 (04:12):
That's awesome. Yeah, So welcome to Memphis and you're staying
the night.
Speaker 3 (04:18):
Thank you for having me.
Speaker 4 (04:20):
Well, we will do something tonight.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
We will have to get Memphis barbecue in you so
you will finally be able to understand that y'all's Texas
barbecue is not.
Speaker 3 (04:29):
Doesn't cut it.
Speaker 4 (04:31):
You real beef, you barbecue pork. There you go.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
Folks in Texas had that wrong for decades. So we'll
prove that up to you.
Speaker 3 (04:38):
Awesome. I look forward to.
Speaker 4 (04:39):
It, all right.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
Cool last thing for our listeners, Uh, this is a
attendant event. There's probably thirty or forty people who have come,
and I want to say to everybody that's here, thank
you for joining us, Thank you for being here. I
have one really cool shout out on that. There's a
dude name Mitch with his dad named Steve that last
(05:03):
night drove from Ohio to be here for this and
a turning around and going home.
Speaker 4 (05:08):
Where are you guys?
Speaker 1 (05:10):
There?
Speaker 4 (05:10):
They are so welcome.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
Thank you for being a great support of the show.
And Russell told me how honored he was that you
guys did that seems a lot man, So, friends, family, fans,
thank you for being here.
Speaker 4 (05:26):
It means the world to me, and I know it
means a lot to Russell. So with that, where'd you
grow up? Dude?
Speaker 3 (05:34):
Born and raised Lubbock, Texas? Man So getting into mom
and dad.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
Lubbock, Texas, poor as could be to the point of
being homeless. At one point, Dad got fired, moved to Sweetwater,
Texas for almost a year, came back to Lubbock. We
(06:04):
were living in our car, calling friends, calling family.
Speaker 3 (06:10):
In the car.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
Correct, yeah, calling friend. Well, my oldest brother was he
moved to Saint Louis at the time.
Speaker 3 (06:18):
But my older brother, Corey.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
Me Corey, Mom, dad and her dog had all our
belongings in a Buick regal reigning and Mom's on the phone,
calling friends, calling family. Finally gets a hold of my
aunt and we had a home for a couple of
months until Dad found another job.
Speaker 3 (06:42):
So that was I mean, that was my upbringing.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
Man by no means privileged, by no means.
Speaker 3 (06:51):
No, I you know.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
And that's that's the thing, Bill is, Like, what I
want to pass on to my kids is what my
dad passed on to me is hard work, being a
good man, character, integrity.
Speaker 3 (07:08):
That's what I want to instill in my boys.
Speaker 4 (07:11):
So you went to high school in Lubbock or yes, sir?
Speaker 3 (07:17):
All right, so junior high?
Speaker 4 (07:18):
Say yes, sir again, I'm gonna wrestle you.
Speaker 3 (07:21):
Man.
Speaker 4 (07:21):
You ain't that much younger than me.
Speaker 3 (07:23):
Dog. You know what, you know, what's funny Texas thing.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
I say it to everybody, anybody, and I mean.
Speaker 1 (07:31):
I respect it, all right, right, but we got a
beer in front of us. We're grind City Brewing in Memphis, Tennessee,
with thirty or forty people out here. No, yes, sirs today,
all right? Just yeah, all right, all right. So you
went to high school in love. You play sports? Do
all that I did.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
So I grew I mean grew up playing ball, baseball, football.
Baseball was my jam.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
Baseball is your jam. Yeah, okay, my damn uh. You're
pretty good golfer too.
Speaker 4 (08:02):
Aren't you.
Speaker 3 (08:04):
I play a little bit, i'd, yeah, play.
Speaker 4 (08:06):
A little bit, so you were almost pro right?
Speaker 3 (08:10):
I tried.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
I tried, Yeah, I was. I was in the golf
business for about ten years. Tried to qualify for the
Texas Open two different times.
Speaker 3 (08:21):
Shot seventy one sixty.
Speaker 4 (08:23):
Eight and pretty good.
Speaker 3 (08:26):
The guy who took.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
It though, sixty three sixty two, so that showed me
really quick.
Speaker 3 (08:32):
I wasn't quite there.
Speaker 4 (08:33):
But yeah, but you're still pretty good, i'd. So you're
athletic is the point?
Speaker 3 (08:38):
Yes, yeah, I will say that. I want to my
own horn, but yes, I'm athletic.
Speaker 4 (08:42):
All right.
Speaker 1 (08:42):
So you came up athletic kid, not a privileged life,
but a mother and father who loved you and cared
for you and taught you the basic tenets and fundamentals
of what it is to be a hard working, character
driven good man.
Speaker 3 (09:00):
I'll tell you what, Bill, My mom and dad they're
my world, man, They're my world. Sorry.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
Yeah, so lost both of them within fast forward, lost
both of them within a month of each other in
twenty sixteen, which.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
Was we are jumping ahead and we're gonna go back
before we get there. But people need to know that
was a triggering moment for you in your life.
Speaker 2 (09:40):
But yeah, sorry, Rewind, I mean mom and dad. Dad's
showing me work ethic Mom. Mom was there for everything
because Dad couldn't be because of work.
Speaker 4 (09:54):
That's typical.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
But yeah, I mean two of the most phenomenal human
beings to ever grace this planet.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
So growing up, you told me that your parents loved music. Yeah,
and your dad was a country dude. In your words,
your dad was Your dad loved country full country was cool.
Speaker 3 (10:17):
That's right, That's what mom always so. What mom always
said about.
Speaker 1 (10:20):
Dad and your mom, her jam was like Elvis and
Marvin Gay and all of that, and then you had
a brother who was all in the eighties music, and
he had another brother who was a hip hop num
that's right. So I mean you're surrounded by genre.
Speaker 3 (10:36):
I mean, I'm smack dab in the middle of every
genre of music you can imagine.
Speaker 1 (10:41):
And I read that like when you were a kid,
your mom would be cooking and she'd be jamming out
on Marvin Gay or Elvis or something, and you and
her would just dance in the kitchen.
Speaker 2 (10:51):
Man, I'll never forget, like especially Saturday mornings, she'd be
doing biscuits.
Speaker 3 (10:56):
Gravy, eggs, the whole deal. But music was.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
Always going in our house and Mom would be in
the kitchen doing her thing, but always dancing while doing it,
and she would grab my hand pull me in there,
and we would go to town.
Speaker 4 (11:11):
Dude, that's beautiful.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
But it's also awesome because the minute you start talking
about that, your facial expression changes. Yeah, you get you
can see the happiness and the chill just come over
you the minute you say anything about that.
Speaker 3 (11:28):
And what's so cool?
Speaker 1 (11:29):
Man?
Speaker 2 (11:29):
Is like as I grew up, I mean, I mean
both of them, but Mom especially, she always encouraged it.
Speaker 3 (11:37):
She was like, I see it in you. I love it.
Put on some music Let's go always.
Speaker 4 (11:44):
I love it.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
So that's kind of how you came up. And a
couple of really rough things happened in your life. One
you've alluded to, which I do want you to go
into a little more, not for the sake of you know,
(12:07):
I'm not trying to sensatialize your story. It's just your
main to your story. And then also the capital of
the football team, the president's student council, the alpha dog
who is your bro committed suicide.
Speaker 4 (12:21):
Tell us about those?
Speaker 2 (12:23):
Yeah man, so Heath Stewart. So we met in algebra
in high school and automatically hit it off. Best friend
vibe from the get go, baseball, football, shared so much
(12:45):
in common, and yeah man, so after high school, I
just remember, golly, we were twenty six. I mean, I
lived with the dude for about two or three years.
I was going through my rough patch, depression, anxiety, my
(13:08):
suicidal thoughts started around twenty one, twenty two, and by
the grace of God, I overcame that. But you fast
forward twenty six years old. The last time I saw
Heath alive was at our friend Zach's wedding and I
(13:29):
just remember looking at him and.
Speaker 3 (13:34):
His eyes everything he just looked dark.
Speaker 2 (13:39):
And I mean I could feel and sense that what
he was going through and what I went through when
I went through it was so parallel. And yeah, man,
I'll never forget. I got home from work or I
was taking a nap and mine now ex wife woke
(14:01):
me up and said, Heath gone committed suicide. And his dad,
Robert Stewart, he is like my second daddy.
Speaker 1 (14:22):
And now a few messages from our gender sponsors. But first,
I hope you'll consider signing up to join the army
at normal folks dot us. By signing up, you'll receive
a weekly email with short episode summaries in case you
happen to miss an episode or if you prefer reading
about our incredible guests. We'll be right back. So tell
(15:00):
me about your depression and your anxiety and your suicidal.
Speaker 4 (15:04):
Thoughts, y'all. We're gonna get to the redemption.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
And this is the Dadgune dancing ups man hanging out
with over here.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
Yes, sir, and oh yeah, sorry, no sergs today.
Speaker 4 (15:17):
That's right.
Speaker 1 (15:19):
He is the guy that puts smiles on faces of
people just by his actions. And we're gonna get into
all that, But his story is not about being able
to dance while he's delivering packages and shooting out stuff.
Speaker 4 (15:35):
That's the top line of the story.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
His story is much deeper than that, and what he
does with his ability to dance, what you do with
your ability to dance is the redemption and the beauty
of who you are as a human being and what
you spread. But to get to that, to fully understand it.
At twenty two, every single day you thought about killing yourself.
Speaker 3 (16:01):
I did so.
Speaker 2 (16:04):
At twenty one. I mean I remember it like it
was yesterday. I was living with Mom and Dad in
Big Spring. Dad got transferred to Big Spring with Rip Griffin,
and I wasn't working at the time. I mean honestly,
Dad was working his tail off, and he was like,
I'll tell you what, Mom.
Speaker 3 (16:26):
Is super depressed.
Speaker 2 (16:27):
If you want to stay home and be with her,
keep her company, that's good with me.
Speaker 3 (16:36):
So that's what I did, me and Mom.
Speaker 2 (16:38):
And that's the coolest part about you know, bittersweet, right,
life sing and yang, but just being there with Mom
and developing that friendship with her and Dad when he
came home.
Speaker 3 (16:58):
But it got to me after a while.
Speaker 2 (17:01):
I realized at the time, like I'm aimless, I'm hopeless,
like so, it just accumulates and accumulates, and that's where
drugs started coming in. All the addictions started coming in.
And yeah, man twenty one, twenty two years old, addiction
(17:28):
and suicidal thoughts were a daily thing. And it got
to the point it was like, if this is my life,
I don't want to do it.
Speaker 3 (17:39):
If this is what it's going to be from now on,
I don't want to do it. How close, gun in hand,
locked and loaded on the edge of the bed, ready
to go.
Speaker 2 (17:53):
So, for those of y'all who kind of know my
story a little bit about me, in that moment, I
literally cried out to God, if this is it.
Speaker 3 (18:07):
I can't do it. And I can't even explain.
Speaker 2 (18:15):
What happened in that moment as far as my faith,
as far as my belief, but there was a light
that just went off inside of me that said, you
were worth so much more than where you are right now,
and you're gonna get through this.
Speaker 3 (18:36):
And when you get through this, you're.
Speaker 2 (18:38):
Gonna show millions of people how to get through this.
Speaker 4 (18:45):
So did you find a purpose with that gun in
your hand?
Speaker 3 (18:49):
Absolutely?
Speaker 2 (18:50):
And that is my mission as of today. If you're
in that place, you have a purpose.
Speaker 3 (19:01):
And that is.
Speaker 2 (19:02):
Why I'm using what God has given me and using
this platform to tell people you have a purpose and
you were worth so much more than what you know.
Speaker 1 (19:14):
So how long after that moment did your buddy commit
suicide and then your parents' poss.
Speaker 2 (19:22):
So again, I was twenty one twenty two when I
went through that, and Heath committed suicide at twenty six.
Speaker 4 (19:33):
Dude, if you.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
And you know depression and anxiety because you lived it.
You were on the edge of the bed when you
saw him at twenty six and saw the darkness and
everything else.
Speaker 4 (19:46):
You had to have known.
Speaker 2 (19:48):
And you know what's what's crazy about that, Bill is,
like I said, his dad is like my second dad.
And we've talked about this several times, and you know,
it's one of those things you to kick yourself in
the butt. It's like I see it and didn't say anything.
Speaker 3 (20:07):
You know what I mean?
Speaker 4 (20:08):
Is that because mental health is so taboo.
Speaker 2 (20:11):
I believe so, like seriously, like twenty six years old,
Like what do I what do I say to this guy?
Speaker 3 (20:19):
Like I know I went through it, Like what do
I tell him? And it's you know, it's life.
Speaker 2 (20:27):
It's like everybody goes through their own journey and you
just you just assume that he's going to come out
of it. And that's that's the issue taboo. You said it.
Speaker 1 (20:42):
You know, if somebody's got cancer, we rally around them.
Speaker 4 (20:47):
Yeah, you know we will.
Speaker 1 (20:49):
We will shave our heads, we will wear pink ribbons,
we will raise money, we will do all kinds of
things about cancer if somebody's got.
Speaker 4 (21:02):
I mean, I think about Saint.
Speaker 1 (21:03):
Jude, which I know you're involved in, and the money
you've helped, the ray Saint Jude, and the smiles you
put on those good spaces. Mental health kills people daily.
Yet it's almost a whisper that we talk about mental
health with rather than a attack that we attack other.
Speaker 4 (21:28):
Ailments with.
Speaker 2 (21:31):
And that and that's the thing, Bill is like, I
I know when I was going through what I was
going through, I didn't know how.
Speaker 3 (21:39):
To talk about it.
Speaker 2 (21:39):
I didn't know who to talk to. And that's that's
the issue, is like, if you're going through that, and
That's where I'm at in life now, is like I
see a counselor if you're even today, even today, if
you start recognizing those symptoms or or if you see
(22:04):
somebody with those, yes, you're exactly right, it's time to
talk about it.
Speaker 1 (22:11):
I've read we're jumping ahead and we're gonna get back,
but like a squirrel up a tree, I'm gonna change it. Yeah,
I've read that even today you have a largely rule
route delivering your ups back ages, and some of those
long drives between spots on certain days, your anxiety will
(22:32):
start kicking you hard.
Speaker 2 (22:34):
So even today, even today, I mean, that's the ding, dude,
It's it's a daily grind. Like if you and that's
my family history of depression, I mean, dude, bipolar, manic,
all of it. It's a family thing. And for me
(22:59):
it's a daily thing. So you know, what I'm trying
to get across to people through what I do is
how do you manage it? And again between seeing my
counselor and I'm like, if you're to the point that
it's gotten so dark that you feel you need medication,
(23:20):
by all means, do what you have to do to
take care of yourself.
Speaker 4 (23:25):
What do you do?
Speaker 1 (23:27):
But what's the rustle personal thing? Because I've read it,
I think some of it's hilarious. And I want you
to tell, and some of it's profound.
Speaker 2 (23:36):
So I mean, dude, you could put my daily routine
down to the minute. Wake up at five point thirty,
I do three rounds of breath work, I take a
cold shower, I work out, and then I start my day.
Speaker 3 (23:52):
But it's like if I didn't do those things.
Speaker 2 (23:54):
But I mean, if you look at the effect on
mental health with just doing that has a huge impact
on your mental health. Taking in quality food, I mean,
just the basics. But like I say, and of course
I dance, of course, of course I dance.
Speaker 3 (24:11):
But you know, just doing doing the things that I
feel God has given us to do, to work, to
be outside to nature. Right.
Speaker 2 (24:27):
But if you've gone, if your mental health is gone
beyond that point, like I say, seek help.
Speaker 4 (24:37):
We'll be right back.
Speaker 1 (24:50):
I've read where you've been driving down this rural route
and your anxiety hits, and you describe it as your
mind going nice any different directions and bouncing around in
your head where you can't even collect faults because your
anxiety's got you so worked up, and you pray, God,
not right now, I'm on my route, give me a break.
Speaker 3 (25:12):
You know, you know it's funny bill. Just yesterday on
my route heavy as could be.
Speaker 2 (25:23):
I had three hundred and fifty packages to get delivered.
It was a twelve hour day. Right, I walk in,
I see my truck. I look at my supervisor. I'm like, really, bro.
Speaker 3 (25:37):
Like I could show you pictures like back to front.
Speaker 2 (25:40):
You can't see light through the truck. And I'm out
there in the middle of nowhere. Yes, I was cussing
up a storm like this.
Speaker 3 (25:50):
This is not happening today, But.
Speaker 2 (25:56):
In that moment, it's mindset. I had the choice in
that moment to be defeated and let that get to me.
And I called my son because in that moment, I
just started praying. I said, God, give me the strength
(26:19):
to do this job, for my kids, for myself.
Speaker 3 (26:22):
Just give me strength.
Speaker 2 (26:24):
Prayed, breathe, and like after about ten minutes, I was coasting.
I was actually, we're not supposed to run. I was
getting my workout in for the day running these packages
door to door.
Speaker 3 (26:38):
But it's so funny, man, Like, you know my oldest, well,
all my boys, but my oldest in my middle.
Speaker 2 (26:46):
You know, you watch them in sports or in school,
in life, and there's those moments where you just feel defeated,
and that's where you have to get in here.
Speaker 3 (27:00):
And getting here.
Speaker 2 (27:03):
My I mean mind over mattered, head and heart, head
and heart, dude all day.
Speaker 4 (27:10):
So knowing that this is just your life.
Speaker 1 (27:15):
Your parents pass and like you said, I think forty
one days between the passing of them and at the
top of this.
Speaker 4 (27:21):
We saw your emotion with regard to what your parents
are to you.
Speaker 1 (27:29):
Still even in death, you kind of fell off the
wagon a little left of that, right I did.
Speaker 3 (27:38):
Man. So, like I say, it's.
Speaker 2 (27:42):
If you suffer with mental health, especially the way me
and my family do it.
Speaker 3 (27:51):
It's a daily thing. So you know, went through losing heath.
Speaker 2 (28:01):
But I tell you when I lost mom and dad
within a month of each other, it changed my life,
completely changed my life.
Speaker 3 (28:15):
So yeah, I mean, you know that's the thing.
Speaker 4 (28:19):
Is like.
Speaker 2 (28:21):
I'm at a place in my life where I can
balance having a beer, you know, balance, it's finding balance.
Speaker 3 (28:29):
But at the time.
Speaker 2 (28:33):
I didn't want to deal with it, so I turned
to all the addictions I turned to when I was
twenty one, and then some.
Speaker 3 (28:46):
And uh, time to time.
Speaker 4 (28:54):
Not good, not good.
Speaker 1 (28:56):
And I gotta believe it's kind of a depression. Anxiety
drugs drugs are self medicating, but then when you lose
that high, now you're more to It's got to be
this just concentric circle of misery.
Speaker 2 (29:10):
It one thousand percent that's exactly what it is. You
feel this anxiety. To relieve the anxiety, I'm going to
do this drug or I'm going to do that, or
I'm going to do this to relieve the anxiety. And
guess what that problem or that problem you didn't deal with,
It's still there tomorrow. So when the drug or alcohol
(29:34):
or whatever your substance of choices, when it wears off,
guess what the anxieties right back there.
Speaker 1 (29:43):
And now when you're sober, you add the anxiety of
knowing that you're doing destructive crap to self medicate, and
now you have shame and guilt on top of everything else.
So it continues to ratchet up. I've heard this story
from other guests. Yeah, is that right? One percent accurate?
Speaker 2 (30:07):
And I want to give a special shout out to
my ex wife. She's an amazing human being. She's an amazing.
Speaker 3 (30:15):
Mother to our three boys.
Speaker 2 (30:18):
And I'm at a place in life I own it all.
It's on me. I couldn't and wouldn't deal and cope.
(30:44):
So again, that's what I'm saying. If you know you're
in a place where you need help, get the help.
Don't turn to that pill. Don't turn to that drug
of choice, because, like you said, all it does is
create this cycle.
Speaker 3 (30:59):
And in the middle of that cycle are the people
you love, and you gobble them up to and after
so long enough they've had enough.
Speaker 1 (31:12):
Which leads to more anxiety and depression on your part
because now you're destroying the people you love the most.
Correct it is, it is a cycle of misery.
Speaker 3 (31:24):
I'm just.
Speaker 2 (31:28):
I am super thankful and super grateful to still have
her in my life in a respect because she's a
prayer warrior in my life and I'm fortunate enough to
have those few people in.
Speaker 3 (31:43):
My life to be where I'm at today.
Speaker 4 (31:46):
Good news.
Speaker 1 (31:47):
After about three years of that, somehow you broke loose.
Speaker 2 (31:49):
Yeah, man, I'm dead serious, dude, hitting my knees and
like I say, doing doing the things that I know
I need to do. When I tell myself to wake
up at five thirty, I wake up.
Speaker 3 (32:11):
At five thirty.
Speaker 2 (32:13):
When I have a Bible study. I have a Bible study.
When I again cold shower, eat the rite, foods, go
for a run, all the all the crap you don't
want to do in the moment, that's exactly what you
need to do to get across the other side.
Speaker 4 (32:34):
So you discipline yourself out of it.
Speaker 1 (32:40):
One do you know how much temerity and intestinal strength
it takes to do that? That says so much about
who you are as human being. And it goes back
to probably your dad, you.
Speaker 3 (32:54):
Know, I Bill, I'll never forget. Dad would work.
Speaker 2 (33:01):
So he was a diesel driver, would drive fourteen hours
a day, sometimes up to sixteen. But if he knew
I had a baseball game that day.
Speaker 3 (33:15):
One of my fondest memories.
Speaker 2 (33:17):
I'm about to get up to the plate to bat
and I see the tanker roll up in center field.
That is one of the fondest memories of my pop
to this day.
Speaker 3 (33:33):
So yeah, exactly, dude.
Speaker 4 (33:34):
He loved his kid, My folks.
Speaker 3 (33:39):
Loved all three of us beyond measure.
Speaker 1 (33:43):
So coming out of this thing, Russell wrote a book, y'all,
Battling Depression, Winning the War in Our Minds, is published
in twenty fifteen. Right, yes, sir, battling depression got it.
Winning the War in our minds?
Speaker 4 (34:04):
What's that war? In your mind.
Speaker 2 (34:08):
So you know, for me, and I think a lot
of people who battle mental health, I think it's a
fifty to fifty split between.
Speaker 3 (34:24):
Body well, body mind and spirit is the way I
like to quote it.
Speaker 2 (34:33):
If one of those body mind or spirit is out
of tune, out of sinc.
Speaker 3 (34:40):
This is going to mess with you. So it's a
matter of.
Speaker 2 (34:46):
For me getting the spirit right, then getting the body right,
and getting the mind right. And I think mind and
body go hand in hand.
Speaker 1 (34:53):
So you're saying, if you get your spiritual life in
order and you take care of your body, that you're
aiding your mind.
Speaker 4 (35:02):
To fight off the war that is depression and anxiety.
Speaker 3 (35:08):
Correct, yep, yep.
Speaker 4 (35:11):
And you believe that.
Speaker 1 (35:12):
There's an added element of evil in that battle.
Speaker 3 (35:20):
So I don't know if you saw.
Speaker 2 (35:21):
I also did a podcast with Maurice Bernard.
Speaker 1 (35:24):
I wish I had. I didn't, but I will check
it out, as will everybody else.
Speaker 2 (35:28):
Yes, So Maurice and I were having this conversation. So
Maurice's story is also remarkable. Maurice, if you're watching Much
Love Brother, keep up the fight. But I mean he
hit the nail on the head when he was going
through his and same with me. I mean, it literally
feels like God and the devil are just going to war,
(35:51):
just going to war, and it's like you for your soul.
I believe there is a battle of good and evil.
Speaker 3 (36:02):
So it's a matter of choosing daily to do.
Speaker 2 (36:12):
I mean, really the basic right things in life, like
good and evil. Because it's easy, it's so easy to
turn to addiction.
Speaker 3 (36:25):
It's easy.
Speaker 2 (36:27):
I don't feel like doing this, I don't feel like
dealing with this. I'm gonna take a pill. I don't
feel like dealing with this. I'm just gonna get high
out of my mind. So it's a matter of physically
and mentally making that choice to do the things you
(36:48):
know you need.
Speaker 3 (36:48):
To do to take care of yourself body, mind, and spirit.
Speaker 1 (36:58):
And that concludes part one of my conversation with Russell Butler,
and trust me, you don't want to miss part two
that's now able to listen to, where he puts smiles
on everyone's faces. Together, guys, we can change this country.
It starts with you. I'll see in part two
And so off the cuff, you go back to the
days with your mom and you record yourself doing a little.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
Dance Vanilla ice ice ice baby, yeah, Ice ice baby Yeah.
It was like, I mean, like you said in the
height of COVID, I was like, dude, can we just
change the conversation? And again, like I don't discredit how
serious that time was, but I was like, can we smile?
Speaker 3 (00:30):
Can we laugh?
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Can we just change the conversation a little bit? So
drop my phone down, put on ice sized baby.
Speaker 4 (00:38):
Literally just on a wheel.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
Just put your phone down and say, let me see
how this recording thing.
Speaker 3 (00:43):
Mark as it.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
And within twenty four hours it had three point five
million views and.
Speaker 3 (00:52):
Just comments or comments. But you made my day.
Speaker 1 (01:06):
Welcome to an army of normal folks. I'm Bill Courtney.
I'm a normal guy. I'm a husband, I'm a father,
I'm an entrepreneur, and I've been a football.
Speaker 4 (01:15):
Coach an inner city Memphis.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
And that last part it somehow led to an oscar
for the film about our team. That movie is called Undefeated.
Speaker 4 (01:25):
Y'all.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
I believe our country's problems will never be solved by
a bunch of fancy people in nice suits using big
words that nobody ever uses on CNN and Fox, but
rather by an army of normal folks us just you
and me deciding, hey, I can help. That's what Russell Butler,
the voice we just heard, has done. And those three
(01:48):
point five million views eventually turned into one point two
million followers on Instagram and one point six million followers
on TikTok, and Russell became known as the Dancing ups Man.
But in spite of his fame, he's still a normal dude,
delivering packages with ups and delivering on his ministry of
(02:11):
sharing good vibes through dance. I cannot wait for you
to meet Russell right after these brief messages for March
Ender sponsors, Russell Butler, Welcome to Memphis, bro By Man,
(02:43):
and it's you know, we're here on a Saturday morning, which.
Speaker 4 (02:48):
That's my off time.
Speaker 1 (02:49):
Yes, sir, mine too well. But here's the thing. When
we tried to get you down here, it was hilarious.
You know, we're an army of normal folks, right, and
why you couldn't come down here. You had to shift,
You had to deliver packages twelve hours a day. Maybe
it's I mean you were working yesterday.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
I was I was telling Alex, I didn't get off
till almost nine o'clock last night, Yes, sir.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
And caught a plane at four this morning.
Speaker 3 (03:17):
Yeah, that flight was fun.
Speaker 4 (03:19):
Yeah, you're welcome.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
So when you were landing in the Memphis Airport and
you flew over those massive, beautiful white with the red
FedEx tail coming in and you're flying over the world
headquarters of FedEx in the hub, did you feel like
you crossed over into enemy or territory?
Speaker 3 (03:41):
Exactly? Exactly.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
Hey, but I don't know if you saw my One
of my recent posts was so that's the still much
love and much respect to all delivery drivers.
Speaker 3 (03:53):
Were all in it together. We're all doing the same job.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
But I danced in front of a FedEx truck and
the dude was like.
Speaker 3 (03:59):
Oh for it, bro, the fed were you ups stup?
Speaker 1 (04:04):
You were brown dancing from the Fedextra and the FedEx drivers.
Speaker 2 (04:07):
Like, I call it out ups and FedEx and said,
who's better?
Speaker 4 (04:12):
That's awesome. Yeah, So welcome to Memphis and you're staying
the night.
Speaker 3 (04:18):
Thank you for having me.
Speaker 4 (04:20):
Well, we will do something tonight.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
We will have to get Memphis barbecue in you so
you will finally be able to understand that y'all's Texas
barbecue is not.
Speaker 3 (04:29):
Doesn't cut it.
Speaker 4 (04:31):
You real beef, you barbecue pork. There you go.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
Folks in Texas had that wrong for decades. So we'll
prove that up to you.
Speaker 3 (04:38):
Awesome. I look forward to.
Speaker 4 (04:39):
It, all right.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
Cool last thing for our listeners, Uh, this is a
attendant event. There's probably thirty or forty people who have come,
and I want to say to everybody that's here, thank
you for joining us, Thank you for being here. I
have one really cool shout out on that. There's a
dude name Mitch with his dad named Steve that last
(05:03):
night drove from Ohio to be here for this and
a turning around and going home.
Speaker 4 (05:08):
Where are you guys?
Speaker 1 (05:10):
There?
Speaker 4 (05:10):
They are so welcome.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
Thank you for being a great support of the show.
And Russell told me how honored he was that you
guys did that seems a lot man, So, friends, family, fans,
thank you for being here.
Speaker 4 (05:26):
It means the world to me, and I know it
means a lot to Russell. So with that, where'd you
grow up? Dude?
Speaker 3 (05:34):
Born and raised Lubbock, Texas? Man So getting into mom
and dad.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
Lubbock, Texas, poor as could be to the point of
being homeless. At one point, Dad got fired, moved to Sweetwater,
Texas for almost a year, came back to Lubbock. We
(06:04):
were living in our car, calling friends, calling family.
Speaker 3 (06:10):
In the car.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
Correct, yeah, calling friend. Well, my oldest brother was he
moved to Saint Louis at the time.
Speaker 3 (06:18):
But my older brother, Corey.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
Me Corey, Mom, dad and her dog had all our
belongings in a Buick regal reigning and Mom's on the phone,
calling friends, calling family. Finally gets a hold of my
aunt and we had a home for a couple of
months until Dad found another job.
Speaker 3 (06:42):
So that was I mean, that was my upbringing.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
Man by no means privileged, by no means.
Speaker 3 (06:51):
No, I you know.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
And that's that's the thing, Bill is, Like, what I
want to pass on to my kids is what my
dad passed on to me is hard work, being a
good man, character, integrity.
Speaker 3 (07:08):
That's what I want to instill in my boys.
Speaker 4 (07:11):
So you went to high school in Lubbock or yes, sir?
Speaker 3 (07:17):
All right, so junior high?
Speaker 4 (07:18):
Say yes, sir again, I'm gonna wrestle you.
Speaker 3 (07:21):
Man.
Speaker 4 (07:21):
You ain't that much younger than me.
Speaker 3 (07:23):
Dog. You know what, you know, what's funny Texas thing.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
I say it to everybody, anybody, and I mean.
Speaker 1 (07:31):
I respect it, all right, right, but we got a
beer in front of us. We're grind City Brewing in Memphis, Tennessee,
with thirty or forty people out here. No, yes, sirs today,
all right? Just yeah, all right, all right. So you
went to high school in love. You play sports? Do
all that I did.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
So I grew I mean grew up playing ball, baseball, football.
Baseball was my jam.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
Baseball is your jam. Yeah, okay, my damn uh. You're
pretty good golfer too.
Speaker 4 (08:02):
Aren't you.
Speaker 3 (08:04):
I play a little bit, i'd, yeah, play.
Speaker 4 (08:06):
A little bit, so you were almost pro right?
Speaker 3 (08:10):
I tried.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
I tried, Yeah, I was. I was in the golf
business for about ten years. Tried to qualify for the
Texas Open two different times.
Speaker 3 (08:21):
Shot seventy one sixty.
Speaker 4 (08:23):
Eight and pretty good.
Speaker 3 (08:26):
The guy who took.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
It though, sixty three sixty two, so that showed me
really quick.
Speaker 3 (08:32):
I wasn't quite there.
Speaker 4 (08:33):
But yeah, but you're still pretty good, i'd. So you're
athletic is the point?
Speaker 3 (08:38):
Yes, yeah, I will say that. I want to my
own horn, but yes, I'm athletic.
Speaker 4 (08:42):
All right.
Speaker 1 (08:42):
So you came up athletic kid, not a privileged life,
but a mother and father who loved you and cared
for you and taught you the basic tenets and fundamentals
of what it is to be a hard working, character
driven good man.
Speaker 3 (09:00):
I'll tell you what, Bill, My mom and dad they're
my world, man, They're my world. Sorry.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
Yeah, so lost both of them within fast forward, lost
both of them within a month of each other in
twenty sixteen, which.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
Was we are jumping ahead and we're gonna go back
before we get there. But people need to know that
was a triggering moment for you in your life.
Speaker 2 (09:40):
But yeah, sorry, Rewind, I mean mom and dad. Dad's
showing me work ethic Mom. Mom was there for everything
because Dad couldn't be because of work.
Speaker 4 (09:54):
That's typical.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
But yeah, I mean two of the most phenomenal human
beings to ever grace this planet.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
So growing up, you told me that your parents loved music. Yeah,
and your dad was a country dude. In your words,
your dad was Your dad loved country full country was cool.
Speaker 3 (10:17):
That's right, That's what mom always so. What mom always
said about.
Speaker 1 (10:20):
Dad and your mom, her jam was like Elvis and
Marvin Gay and all of that, and then you had
a brother who was all in the eighties music, and
he had another brother who was a hip hop num
that's right. So I mean you're surrounded by genre.
Speaker 3 (10:36):
I mean, I'm smack dab in the middle of every
genre of music you can imagine.
Speaker 1 (10:41):
And I read that like when you were a kid,
your mom would be cooking and she'd be jamming out
on Marvin Gay or Elvis or something, and you and
her would just dance in the kitchen.
Speaker 2 (10:51):
Man, I'll never forget, like especially Saturday mornings, she'd be
doing biscuits.
Speaker 3 (10:56):
Gravy, eggs, the whole deal. But music was.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
Always going in our house and Mom would be in
the kitchen doing her thing, but always dancing while doing it,
and she would grab my hand pull me in there,
and we would go to town.
Speaker 4 (11:11):
Dude, that's beautiful.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
But it's also awesome because the minute you start talking
about that, your facial expression changes. Yeah, you get you
can see the happiness and the chill just come over
you the minute you say anything about that.
Speaker 3 (11:28):
And what's so cool?
Speaker 1 (11:29):
Man?
Speaker 2 (11:29):
Is like as I grew up, I mean, I mean
both of them, but Mom especially, she always encouraged it.
Speaker 3 (11:37):
She was like, I see it in you. I love it.
Put on some music Let's go always.
Speaker 4 (11:44):
I love it.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
So that's kind of how you came up. And a
couple of really rough things happened in your life. One
you've alluded to, which I do want you to go
into a little more, not for the sake of you know,
(12:07):
I'm not trying to sensatialize your story. It's just your
main to your story. And then also the capital of
the football team, the president's student council, the alpha dog
who is your bro committed suicide.
Speaker 4 (12:21):
Tell us about those?
Speaker 2 (12:23):
Yeah man, so Heath Stewart. So we met in algebra
in high school and automatically hit it off. Best friend
vibe from the get go, baseball, football, shared so much
(12:45):
in common, and yeah man, so after high school, I
just remember, golly, we were twenty six. I mean, I
lived with the dude for about two or three years.
I was going through my rough patch, depression, anxiety, my
(13:08):
suicidal thoughts started around twenty one, twenty two, and by
the grace of God, I overcame that. But you fast
forward twenty six years old. The last time I saw
Heath alive was at our friend Zach's wedding and I
(13:29):
just remember looking at him and.
Speaker 3 (13:34):
His eyes everything he just looked dark.
Speaker 2 (13:39):
And I mean I could feel and sense that what
he was going through and what I went through when
I went through it was so parallel. And yeah, man,
I'll never forget. I got home from work or I
was taking a nap and mine now ex wife woke
(14:01):
me up and said, Heath gone committed suicide. And his dad,
Robert Stewart, he is like my second daddy.
Speaker 1 (14:22):
And now a few messages from our gender sponsors. But first,
I hope you'll consider signing up to join the army
at normal folks dot us. By signing up, you'll receive
a weekly email with short episode summaries in case you
happen to miss an episode or if you prefer reading
about our incredible guests. We'll be right back. So tell
(15:00):
me about your depression and your anxiety and your suicidal.
Speaker 4 (15:04):
Thoughts, y'all. We're gonna get to the redemption.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
And this is the Dadgune dancing ups man hanging out
with over here.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
Yes, sir, and oh yeah, sorry, no sergs today.
Speaker 4 (15:17):
That's right.
Speaker 1 (15:19):
He is the guy that puts smiles on faces of
people just by his actions. And we're gonna get into
all that, But his story is not about being able
to dance while he's delivering packages and shooting out stuff.
Speaker 4 (15:35):
That's the top line of the story.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
His story is much deeper than that, and what he
does with his ability to dance, what you do with
your ability to dance is the redemption and the beauty
of who you are as a human being and what
you spread. But to get to that, to fully understand it.
At twenty two, every single day you thought about killing yourself.
Speaker 3 (16:01):
I did so.
Speaker 2 (16:04):
At twenty one. I mean I remember it like it
was yesterday. I was living with Mom and Dad in
Big Spring. Dad got transferred to Big Spring with Rip Griffin,
and I wasn't working at the time. I mean honestly,
Dad was working his tail off, and he was like,
I'll tell you what, Mom.
Speaker 3 (16:26):
Is super depressed.
Speaker 2 (16:27):
If you want to stay home and be with her,
keep her company, that's good with me.
Speaker 3 (16:36):
So that's what I did, me and Mom.
Speaker 2 (16:38):
And that's the coolest part about you know, bittersweet, right,
life sing and yang, but just being there with Mom
and developing that friendship with her and Dad when he
came home.
Speaker 3 (16:58):
But it got to me after a while.
Speaker 2 (17:01):
I realized at the time, like I'm aimless, I'm hopeless,
like so, it just accumulates and accumulates, and that's where
drugs started coming in. All the addictions started coming in.
And yeah, man twenty one, twenty two years old, addiction
(17:28):
and suicidal thoughts were a daily thing. And it got
to the point it was like, if this is my life,
I don't want to do it.
Speaker 3 (17:39):
If this is what it's going to be from now on,
I don't want to do it. How close, gun in hand,
locked and loaded on the edge of the bed, ready
to go.
Speaker 2 (17:53):
So, for those of y'all who kind of know my
story a little bit about me, in that moment, I
literally cried out to God, if this is it.
Speaker 3 (18:07):
I can't do it. And I can't even explain.
Speaker 2 (18:15):
What happened in that moment as far as my faith,
as far as my belief, but there was a light
that just went off inside of me that said, you
were worth so much more than where you are right now,
and you're gonna get through this.
Speaker 3 (18:36):
And when you get through this, you're.
Speaker 2 (18:38):
Gonna show millions of people how to get through this.
Speaker 4 (18:45):
So did you find a purpose with that gun in
your hand?
Speaker 3 (18:49):
Absolutely?
Speaker 2 (18:50):
And that is my mission as of today. If you're
in that place, you have a purpose.
Speaker 3 (19:01):
And that is.
Speaker 2 (19:02):
Why I'm using what God has given me and using
this platform to tell people you have a purpose and
you were worth so much more than what you know.
Speaker 1 (19:14):
So how long after that moment did your buddy commit
suicide and then your parents' poss.
Speaker 2 (19:22):
So again, I was twenty one twenty two when I
went through that, and Heath committed suicide at twenty six.
Speaker 4 (19:33):
Dude, if you.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
And you know depression and anxiety because you lived it.
You were on the edge of the bed when you
saw him at twenty six and saw the darkness and
everything else.
Speaker 4 (19:46):
You had to have known.
Speaker 2 (19:48):
And you know what's what's crazy about that, Bill is,
like I said, his dad is like my second dad.
And we've talked about this several times, and you know,
it's one of those things you to kick yourself in
the butt. It's like I see it and didn't say anything.
Speaker 3 (20:07):
You know what I mean?
Speaker 4 (20:08):
Is that because mental health is so taboo.
Speaker 2 (20:11):
I believe so, like seriously, like twenty six years old,
Like what do I what do I say to this guy?
Speaker 3 (20:19):
Like I know I went through it, Like what do
I tell him? And it's you know, it's life.
Speaker 2 (20:27):
It's like everybody goes through their own journey and you
just you just assume that he's going to come out
of it. And that's that's the issue taboo. You said it.
Speaker 1 (20:42):
You know, if somebody's got cancer, we rally around them.
Speaker 4 (20:47):
Yeah, you know we will.
Speaker 1 (20:49):
We will shave our heads, we will wear pink ribbons,
we will raise money, we will do all kinds of
things about cancer if somebody's got.
Speaker 4 (21:02):
I mean, I think about Saint.
Speaker 1 (21:03):
Jude, which I know you're involved in, and the money
you've helped, the ray Saint Jude, and the smiles you
put on those good spaces. Mental health kills people daily.
Yet it's almost a whisper that we talk about mental
health with rather than a attack that we attack other.
Speaker 4 (21:28):
Ailments with.
Speaker 2 (21:31):
And that and that's the thing, Bill is like, I
I know when I was going through what I was
going through, I didn't know how.
Speaker 3 (21:39):
To talk about it.
Speaker 2 (21:39):
I didn't know who to talk to. And that's that's
the issue, is like, if you're going through that, and
That's where I'm at in life now, is like I
see a counselor if you're even today, even today, if
you start recognizing those symptoms or or if you see
(22:04):
somebody with those, yes, you're exactly right, it's time to
talk about it.
Speaker 1 (22:11):
I've read we're jumping ahead and we're gonna get back,
but like a squirrel up a tree, I'm gonna change it. Yeah,
I've read that even today you have a largely rule
route delivering your ups back ages, and some of those
long drives between spots on certain days, your anxiety will
(22:32):
start kicking you hard.
Speaker 2 (22:34):
So even today, even today, I mean, that's the ding, dude,
It's it's a daily grind. Like if you and that's
my family history of depression, I mean, dude, bipolar, manic,
all of it. It's a family thing. And for me
(22:59):
it's a daily thing. So you know, what I'm trying
to get across to people through what I do is
how do you manage it? And again between seeing my
counselor and I'm like, if you're to the point that
it's gotten so dark that you feel you need medication,
(23:20):
by all means, do what you have to do to
take care of yourself.
Speaker 4 (23:25):
What do you do?
Speaker 1 (23:27):
But what's the rustle personal thing? Because I've read it,
I think some of it's hilarious. And I want you
to tell, and some of it's profound.
Speaker 2 (23:36):
So I mean, dude, you could put my daily routine
down to the minute. Wake up at five point thirty,
I do three rounds of breath work, I take a
cold shower, I work out, and then I start my day.
Speaker 3 (23:52):
But it's like if I didn't do those things.
Speaker 2 (23:54):
But I mean, if you look at the effect on
mental health with just doing that has a huge impact
on your mental health. Taking in quality food, I mean,
just the basics. But like I say, and of course
I dance, of course, of course I dance.
Speaker 3 (24:11):
But you know, just doing doing the things that I
feel God has given us to do, to work, to
be outside to nature. Right.
Speaker 2 (24:27):
But if you've gone, if your mental health is gone
beyond that point, like I say, seek help.
Speaker 4 (24:37):
We'll be right back.
Speaker 1 (24:50):
I've read where you've been driving down this rural route
and your anxiety hits, and you describe it as your
mind going nice any different directions and bouncing around in
your head where you can't even collect faults because your
anxiety's got you so worked up, and you pray, God,
not right now, I'm on my route, give me a break.
Speaker 3 (25:12):
You know, you know it's funny bill. Just yesterday on
my route heavy as could be.
Speaker 2 (25:23):
I had three hundred and fifty packages to get delivered.
It was a twelve hour day. Right, I walk in,
I see my truck. I look at my supervisor. I'm like, really, bro.
Speaker 3 (25:37):
Like I could show you pictures like back to front.
Speaker 2 (25:40):
You can't see light through the truck. And I'm out
there in the middle of nowhere. Yes, I was cussing
up a storm like this.
Speaker 3 (25:50):
This is not happening today, But.
Speaker 2 (25:56):
In that moment, it's mindset. I had the choice in
that moment to be defeated and let that get to me.
And I called my son because in that moment, I
just started praying. I said, God, give me the strength
(26:19):
to do this job, for my kids, for myself.
Speaker 3 (26:22):
Just give me strength.
Speaker 2 (26:24):
Prayed, breathe, and like after about ten minutes, I was coasting.
I was actually, we're not supposed to run. I was
getting my workout in for the day running these packages
door to door.
Speaker 3 (26:38):
But it's so funny, man, Like, you know my oldest, well,
all my boys, but my oldest in my middle.
Speaker 2 (26:46):
You know, you watch them in sports or in school,
in life, and there's those moments where you just feel defeated,
and that's where you have to get in here.
Speaker 3 (27:00):
And getting here.
Speaker 2 (27:03):
My I mean mind over mattered, head and heart, head
and heart, dude all day.
Speaker 4 (27:10):
So knowing that this is just your life.
Speaker 1 (27:15):
Your parents pass and like you said, I think forty
one days between the passing of them and at the
top of this.
Speaker 4 (27:21):
We saw your emotion with regard to what your parents
are to you.
Speaker 1 (27:29):
Still even in death, you kind of fell off the
wagon a little left of that, right I did.
Speaker 3 (27:38):
Man. So, like I say, it's.
Speaker 2 (27:42):
If you suffer with mental health, especially the way me
and my family do it.
Speaker 3 (27:51):
It's a daily thing. So you know, went through losing heath.
Speaker 2 (28:01):
But I tell you when I lost mom and dad
within a month of each other, it changed my life,
completely changed my life.
Speaker 3 (28:15):
So yeah, I mean, you know that's the thing.
Speaker 4 (28:19):
Is like.
Speaker 2 (28:21):
I'm at a place in my life where I can
balance having a beer, you know, balance, it's finding balance.
Speaker 3 (28:29):
But at the time.
Speaker 2 (28:33):
I didn't want to deal with it, so I turned
to all the addictions I turned to when I was
twenty one, and then some.
Speaker 3 (28:46):
And uh, time to time.
Speaker 4 (28:54):
Not good, not good.
Speaker 1 (28:56):
And I gotta believe it's kind of a depression. Anxiety
drugs drugs are self medicating, but then when you lose
that high, now you're more to It's got to be
this just concentric circle of misery.
Speaker 2 (29:10):
It one thousand percent that's exactly what it is. You
feel this anxiety. To relieve the anxiety, I'm going to
do this drug or I'm going to do that, or
I'm going to do this to relieve the anxiety. And
guess what that problem or that problem you didn't deal with,
It's still there tomorrow. So when the drug or alcohol
(29:34):
or whatever your substance of choices, when it wears off,
guess what the anxieties right back there.
Speaker 1 (29:43):
And now when you're sober, you add the anxiety of
knowing that you're doing destructive crap to self medicate, and
now you have shame and guilt on top of everything else.
So it continues to ratchet up. I've heard this story
from other guests. Yeah, is that right? One percent accurate?
Speaker 2 (30:07):
And I want to give a special shout out to
my ex wife. She's an amazing human being. She's an amazing.
Speaker 3 (30:15):
Mother to our three boys.
Speaker 2 (30:18):
And I'm at a place in life I own it all.
It's on me. I couldn't and wouldn't deal and cope.
(30:44):
So again, that's what I'm saying. If you know you're
in a place where you need help, get the help.
Don't turn to that pill. Don't turn to that drug
of choice, because, like you said, all it does is
create this cycle.
Speaker 3 (30:59):
And in the middle of that cycle are the people
you love, and you gobble them up to and after
so long enough they've had enough.
Speaker 1 (31:12):
Which leads to more anxiety and depression on your part
because now you're destroying the people you love the most.
Correct it is, it is a cycle of misery.
Speaker 3 (31:24):
I'm just.
Speaker 2 (31:28):
I am super thankful and super grateful to still have
her in my life in a respect because she's a
prayer warrior in my life and I'm fortunate enough to
have those few people in.
Speaker 3 (31:43):
My life to be where I'm at today.
Speaker 4 (31:46):
Good news.
Speaker 1 (31:47):
After about three years of that, somehow you broke loose.
Speaker 2 (31:49):
Yeah, man, I'm dead serious, dude, hitting my knees and
like I say, doing doing the things that I know
I need to do. When I tell myself to wake
up at five thirty, I wake up.
Speaker 3 (32:11):
At five thirty.
Speaker 2 (32:13):
When I have a Bible study. I have a Bible study.
When I again cold shower, eat the rite, foods, go
for a run, all the all the crap you don't
want to do in the moment, that's exactly what you
need to do to get across the other side.
Speaker 4 (32:34):
So you discipline yourself out of it.
Speaker 1 (32:40):
One do you know how much temerity and intestinal strength
it takes to do that? That says so much about
who you are as human being. And it goes back
to probably your dad, you.
Speaker 3 (32:54):
Know, I Bill, I'll never forget. Dad would work.
Speaker 2 (33:01):
So he was a diesel driver, would drive fourteen hours
a day, sometimes up to sixteen. But if he knew
I had a baseball game that day.
Speaker 3 (33:15):
One of my fondest memories.
Speaker 2 (33:17):
I'm about to get up to the plate to bat
and I see the tanker roll up in center field.
That is one of the fondest memories of my pop
to this day.
Speaker 3 (33:33):
So yeah, exactly, dude.
Speaker 4 (33:34):
He loved his kid, My folks.
Speaker 3 (33:39):
Loved all three of us beyond measure.
Speaker 1 (33:43):
So coming out of this thing, Russell wrote a book, y'all,
Battling Depression, Winning the War in Our Minds, is published
in twenty fifteen. Right, yes, sir, battling depression got it.
Winning the War in our minds?
Speaker 4 (34:04):
What's that war? In your mind.
Speaker 2 (34:08):
So you know, for me, and I think a lot
of people who battle mental health, I think it's a
fifty to fifty split between.
Speaker 3 (34:24):
Body well, body mind and spirit is the way I
like to quote it.
Speaker 2 (34:33):
If one of those body mind or spirit is out
of tune, out of sinc.
Speaker 3 (34:40):
This is going to mess with you. So it's a
matter of.
Speaker 2 (34:46):
For me getting the spirit right, then getting the body right,
and getting the mind right. And I think mind and
body go hand in hand.
Speaker 1 (34:53):
So you're saying, if you get your spiritual life in
order and you take care of your body, that you're
aiding your mind.
Speaker 4 (35:02):
To fight off the war that is depression and anxiety.
Speaker 3 (35:08):
Correct, yep, yep.
Speaker 4 (35:11):
And you believe that.
Speaker 1 (35:12):
There's an added element of evil in that battle.
Speaker 3 (35:20):
So I don't know if you saw.
Speaker 2 (35:21):
I also did a podcast with Maurice Bernard.
Speaker 1 (35:24):
I wish I had. I didn't, but I will check
it out, as will everybody else.
Speaker 2 (35:28):
Yes, So Maurice and I were having this conversation. So
Maurice's story is also remarkable. Maurice, if you're watching Much
Love Brother, keep up the fight. But I mean he
hit the nail on the head when he was going
through his and same with me. I mean, it literally
feels like God and the devil are just going to war,
(35:51):
just going to war, and it's like you for your soul.
I believe there is a battle of good and evil.
Speaker 3 (36:02):
So it's a matter of choosing daily to do.
Speaker 2 (36:12):
I mean, really the basic right things in life, like
good and evil. Because it's easy, it's so easy to
turn to addiction.
Speaker 3 (36:25):
It's easy.
Speaker 2 (36:27):
I don't feel like doing this, I don't feel like
dealing with this. I'm gonna take a pill. I don't
feel like dealing with this. I'm just gonna get high
out of my mind. So it's a matter of physically
and mentally making that choice to do the things you
(36:48):
know you need.
Speaker 3 (36:48):
To do to take care of yourself body, mind, and spirit.
Speaker 1 (36:58):
And that concludes part one of my conversation with Russell Butler,
and trust me, you don't want to miss part two
that's now able to listen to, where he puts smiles
on everyone's faces. Together, guys, we can change this country.
It starts with you. I'll see in part two
Host
Bill Courtney
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