February 20, 2024 • 41 mins
After racking up 17 felonies, Trina finally had enough and had a vision for a resource center to help other women like herself. Today, her nonprofit Mending Hearts has grown into something far beyond her wildest imagination, owning 15 homes in Nashville that provide shelter, hope, and healing to women who are homeless due to addiction and mental health disorders.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
We have not only residents of treatment, we have a
medical detox. Can you think about a seventeen time fella
hiring a medical doctor. I mean you think, I mean, like,
who does it right?
Speaker 2 (00:17):
Well, you do, my friend.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
So we got nurses, nurse practitioners, rins, case manager, counselors.
But let me say this more importantly, thirty five percent
of my staff is people who have come through my
program and are in recovery.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
Welcome to an army of normal folks. I'm Bill Courtney,
I'm a normal guy. I'm a husband, I'm a father,
I'm an entrepreneur, and I've been a football coach an
inner City Memphis. And the last part it accidentally led
to an oscar for the film about our team. It's
called Undefeated. I believe our country's problems will never be
(01:03):
solved by a bunch of fancy people and nice suits
talking big words that nobody understands on CNN and Fox,
but rather by an army of normal folks, US just
you and me deciding hey, I can help. That's what
Trina Frarson, the voice we just heard, has done. After
racking up seventeen felonies, Trina finally had enough and had
(01:27):
a vision for a resource center to help other women
like her coming back from prison, and today her nonprofit,
Mending Hearts has grown into something far beyond her wildest imagination,
owning fifteen homes in Nashville that provide shelter, hope, and
healing to women who are homeless due to addiction and
(01:50):
mental health disorders. I cannot wait for you to meet
Trina right after these brief messages from our Generals sponsors.
(02:14):
So you grew up me Snashville. You're one of six
Your father passed away.
Speaker 1 (02:21):
Yeah, father passed away at the age of six. Yeah,
so didn't get much relationship there. But my oldest brother
became my father figure.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
How much older was he than you?
Speaker 1 (02:35):
See, he was seven years older than I was, actually
at the age of fifteen. I was fifteen passed when
he was twenty two. But he was the guy that
came in. Father figure worked two jobs like my mom
helped take care of his other siblings. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
So you grew up in a predominantly black area of
the East Nashville and your mom's working trying to raise
six dad's past fifteen year old brothers are having to
take father like roles. The community is very important. Twelve
or thirteen is when you put your tires on the
(03:16):
first squirrely road. Yeah, you know, and we're going to
go through the unraveling before we go through the redemption.
So just I'm going to sit and listen to you
kind of unfold twelve through maybe sixteen or seventeen.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
Yeah, you know, I was, you know, I think my
first want to be grown.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
Habit grow, Yeah, we want to be grown.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
Have you know? My mom used to make this corn
cob wine. You don't have to sit over a year
before you can drink it. And uh man, I used
to that's shine pretty much.
Speaker 2 (03:53):
Yeah, yeah, your mom made shining.
Speaker 1 (03:55):
Mom made shining to bring it and she'd bring it
out on the holidays right right it thanks Giving, it Christmas.
And I think my first first time of alcohol is
I sipped and snuck and snipped sip some and I
seen my brother and them do it, and so like
I'm the baby of the family right out of six,
and so I seen him do it, and so I
(04:15):
was like, I'm gonna do that when nobody's looking, right.
I think that was my first shot. But you know,
at the age of twelve, I got caught smoking.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
Siggs are weeds cigarettes, okay.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
And so my brother's best friend lived on the street
coming from Hollan Nights Junior High. And I think that
nobody's see him and there at work, right, No, it
was his off day. He called me. I was walking
down the street smoking by the time I got home
my brother's home. My mom never whooped me, but my
(04:50):
brother did. Really, oh man, he gave me a good whooping.
And I'm telling you, it made me clean the whole house,
like I didn't just get a whooping, like I got
punished again, like clean up his whole house, right, And
so that was my first encounter. I want to be grown.
But you know, at the age of fourteen, I used
(05:12):
to meet up with my sister and brother and them
in the back room of our house. My mom was
already gone to work. You know. My mom used to
divide lunch money up on our TV at the TV
stuff I just had, you know, the big TV console model,
Floria model is what we called it. Yeah, and Zenith, Yes,
(05:36):
that's it. That's it.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
And so in fact, they make got one of those
things in this place.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
You know what you're about, right, probably.
Speaker 2 (05:42):
Got something like that a lot here somewhere anyway, so
and we'd get our lunch.
Speaker 1 (05:47):
But but prior to going to school, Mom's already worked
and fixed breakfast for us and everything. They're in this
back room. It's almost like a meeting, and it's two
of my brothers and uh now three of my brothers
and my sister, right, and so the back there rolling
(06:07):
their joints and you know, smoking the weed. And I'm
sitting back here on the chair and I just remember
it visually. I'm on the arm of this cheer and uh,
I'm just watching them. And my sister says, God bless
us alf she just passed last week. But uh, she says,
uh here and she rolls up some But you know,
(06:31):
back then, it was the when you got this budded
weed right at the end of the bag, there's the
dust that round and listen, she pulled it into this
paper and it was probably more paper than marijuana, right,
But I was happy to be a part of the club, man,
uh like, and coming from my big sister and she's like, hey,
(06:52):
h here and don't tell nobody. She waited till everybody
left the room and gave it to me, And I
thought that was a bond you know, but that was
my insane thinking back then. I really thought there was
a bond for me and my sister in like she
knew I wanted to be a part of the club. Right.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
It's almost like an indoctrination, yes, which I know your
sister didn't intend.
Speaker 1 (07:17):
Oh no, but that's what it is. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
so you know, and she she go off to work,
we go off to school. And so.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
Your mom, I'm sorry, but your mom working two jobs
with six kids fighting? Yeah, I mean those salmon croquette
and the rice and the whole thing that that she
worked hard to be able to put that stuff on
the table. And she's piling up lunch money on the TV,
(07:51):
scraping together quarters and nichols. I So, I mean, this woman,
thy man, she's my hero of ma Mama listen, mister deadly.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
Uh and I think about, you know, just my process
with her. She died, you know, due to cancer, right,
but the things she sacrificed, uh, so that we have.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
Yeah, did she ever remarry or anything?
Speaker 1 (08:21):
Never?
Speaker 2 (08:23):
She didn't have time for a man if she's working
two job raising six.
Speaker 1 (08:27):
She had these white shoes they like you remember the
old nurse's shoes.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
Yeah, white white on white. Yes, white white.
Speaker 1 (08:36):
When I say the side of them right where your
baby toe is had a hole in it, and maybe
over at the top when I say, she took some
galls or some glue and covered that hold up. And
you remember the old white shoe polish. Oh, man, she
had that thing patch. It looked like it was a
little patch, but her shoes was clean and white, and
(08:58):
it might have had those hole patches in it. But
I'm telling you, if you looked at her kids, none
of their none of us had holes in our shoes,
none of them. She sacrificed. I see the sacrifice.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
Yeah, what would have done to her to know that
those kids were in the back room rolling up weed?
Speaker 1 (09:24):
You know, back in those days, probably the younger group.
She probably have lost it and definitely would have lost
it with me because of the baby. Yeah. I was
supposed to been her golden child, right, But but you
know I say that I later found out, Like I
(09:48):
thought I was a special kid in my mom's life.
But I later found out, man, she had a special
way with all the kids. I thought, I'm telling you,
I thought I had my way with my mom. I
thought I was the price child.
Speaker 2 (10:04):
She just made you all feel that way.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
Yes, I was like, man, it's like wow, but yeah,
you know, I think she would have blewe and lead
to no I right. I think she knew of my
sister and other brother, you know, because that was the
that was a thing back then, you know, like that
(10:27):
bringing it to a legalization right now, trying to get
it across the country. But uh, that was the little
thing back then, and it was beer and it wasn't
causing problems, you know, so so that wasn't a threat,
you know, to our society.
Speaker 2 (10:42):
People didn't. That's interesting you say that. Yeah, it wasn't
a beer in a little weed. You're saying was a thing,
But that wasn't the threat.
Speaker 1 (10:50):
That wasn't the threat.
Speaker 2 (10:51):
But you found it.
Speaker 1 (10:52):
Oh my god. Let me tell you.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
So after your indoctrination.
Speaker 1 (10:56):
Yeah, you know, I went on and every now and
then go to the park, meet up me and my friends.
You know, had a friend that could Back in those days,
you could go to the store. Your parents can say, hey,
I'm sitting Polo down there to get a six packs
of malonea, eggs and cheese. Put it on my tab, right,
and so you could go get things back then from
(11:18):
the store, right, and so you didn't have to be
twenty one. They put it in the grocery bag and
just hand it off you walk up the street. Right.
Speaker 2 (11:27):
That's going to be foreign to a lot of our listeners,
but let me just tell you, that is not a
black thing. That is not a Nashville thing, that is
not an inner city thing. My wife, when she was
thirteen growing up east of Memphis, the grandmother, her grandmother
would call the corner store and it was a mile
(11:51):
and a half away because they lived out in the country,
and my thirteen year old wife would drive her LTD
down Highway fourteen, pull up. She would get a pack
of Virginia sum of all ultra lights, a six pack
of beer, and some sandwich meating bread and the historical
gave it to her knowing it was going back to
(12:12):
my grandmother. And even though that's all that's illegal, definitely,
But I'm telling you, in the South, that was just
the way things worked back in those days. So when
you say that, I completely get it. A lot of
people listen to it to be white, but that really
is the way it worked.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
It is, you know. So I played a little bit,
you know with the marijuana and the beer, and it
was just on occasions, you know. It wasn't like all
the time and I go play ball and you know,
back in the community. But it was. It wasn't until
I first saw cocaine. I think it was in high school. Well,
(12:51):
let me say, there was supposed to be hair n
but I looked at it and it just didn't look
prison to me. You know, it was on a school
but I think my first Atlantic cocaine was in college.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
And now a few messages from our general sponsors, But first,
I hope you'll consider becoming a Premium member of the
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(13:29):
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So I hope you'll think about it. We'll be right back.
Speaker 1 (13:53):
I left high school, right got a scholarship to college
where state community college? And so did you say ball
or ball gall And so I went there and my
freshman year. There, I come out of my apartment and
(14:18):
they got a party going on in the house and
there's a group over here. It's like here training going something.
And I said, what is that? I said? It said powder,
It's good. I was like, and they was just like
they had allergies or somethings like nah, I'm good, I'm good.
(14:38):
And so, you know, thank god I was able to
pass it up because I think my basketball career with
a crash sooner, right, uh. And so I went on
and it wasn't until you know, I ended up headed
back at my sophomore year and I noticed that I
was pregnant, and so I quit had the baby. After
(15:01):
having the baby, the guy, the baby's father, I came
home one day in the kitchen and I couldn't get
in because they had the door jammed up. And when
I finally get in, it's him and two other guys
in there. And I walk in there and they got
(15:22):
this what do you call it? Turns around and they
got needles going in them and so blinded by love,
first thing I say is I want some right, And
I thank God for this dude. Today he's dead and gone,
(15:45):
but I thank God for him. He was very angry
and he said, no, you don't, you don't ever want this.
And I said, but you say you love me. If
you can do it, I can do it. And it
was his nephew that took some powdered cocaine and put
it in a cigarette. And I had to smoke two
(16:06):
or three before I got the feeling it. But the
only thing I felt was my lips was numb, right,
and so but it had me thinking, See, it's one
thing about addiction and behaviors and stuff like that, right,
the obsession, right, is the thought process then the compulsion
(16:29):
of that never ending results. You just want more and
more and more, right, And so I'm looking at but
it was cool. So, you know, I was never a drinker,
and I wanted to drink a beer, you know. And
so probably that second or third time I smoke what
we call back then a jimmy, Right, that's cocaine and
(16:53):
a cigarette.
Speaker 2 (16:56):
A jimmy jimmy. So when we talk about cocaine, we're
talking about crack, right, we're talking about cocaine's.
Speaker 1 (17:03):
Cocaine, powdered cocaine. So you put it in tobacco cigarette? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (17:08):
Really?
Speaker 1 (17:08):
Yeah? So that we called it Jimmy. Right Now, crack
cocaine is formed up and cooked. That's the difference in
powder cocaine and crack coccas.
Speaker 2 (17:21):
It's mixed with stuff and cooked. Right, yeah, yeah, bacon soda,
bacon soda. Right, all right. And so but at this time,
we're not talking about crack yet. We're talking about just we're.
Speaker 1 (17:31):
Just talking about powder cocaine. But it was a family
member that came over and noticed that I was doing it.
And it was my niece, and she heard that I
was smoking powder and cigarettes, and she came over and said,
quit wasting your money. Let me show you something. And
so she comes bringing out all these utensils as if
she's in a chemistry lab or something, and she got
(17:54):
the pirates jars and stuff, and she goes into my
kitchen and she starts to cook it up. And he's
showing me what she's doing. And she bring out this
pipe and then she puts it on there and she
tells me how to pull window pool. And uh, that
was the thing that sent me out to space cracking.
(18:15):
That was cracking. And I tell you what what I
do remember is grabbing my daughter and taking her to
my mom and I knew my mom was sick, but
I took my daughter and I remember going out and
hanging out for two or three nights and not even
(18:38):
coming back home. And so that would go on and
own for years until I caught my first charge.
Speaker 2 (18:51):
Which we'll get to. I am looking at an amazing
woman right now, and I know the rest of the story,
which we'll get to. The person today, thinking about the
person that left their daughter with their cancer ridden sick
(19:12):
mother and didn't show up for three or four days
or a week because of their addiction to crime, what
do you say to that person now?
Speaker 1 (19:34):
You can't change the past, but you can mend today.
And what I mean by that is that nothing I
did back then I can change, But today I can
mend those broken roads. I can mend those broken relationships.
(19:59):
One is by not doing it right ever again right.
But also speak about it. We need to talk about
it around the tables. We need to put it on
the kitchen tables like this. This didn't happen in my family.
This just didn't happen on my street. It's happening everywhere.
(20:23):
You know. I regret it, but I do believe because
of what God has done in my life. I do
believe that my mama smiling today. I think the restoration
process of what I went through in the pain that
I suffered as a result of the harm I caused, right,
(20:46):
because we have to take ownership, Like I can't just
blame this all on addiction. Right.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
A big part of my story is fatherlessness because my
father left home when I was young, my mom was maraining,
divorced five times, and if any regular listener knows the story,
so I won't go deeply into it, but it's one
of the reasons I was able to connect so well
with the kids of manasses, because even though I don't
(21:22):
look like them or come from where they come, I
absolutely understand that part of the trauma of fatherlessness. And
I developed this idea that a lot of fatherlessness in
(21:43):
the hood, particularly comes from men who, when they wake
up in the morning and they look at their shattered
lives and the guilt they feel for all they're doing,
can hardly look themselves in the mirror, much less their sons.
(22:03):
How did you deal with the guilt? Because you had
to have had.
Speaker 1 (22:06):
It, oh tons of it, you know, I'm telling you.
A part of dealing with the guilt was continuing to
use right but self medicating, self medicating, but after you know,
being incarcerated right finding other resources. Therapy was my gatekeeper.
(22:34):
It was therapy. And I'm not talking about once a
month type therapy. I'm talking about two or three days
a week therapy. I'm talking about bringing my kids in,
letting them get gut level honestly about how they felt
neglected and abandoned by my decisions and my behaviors. Can that,
(23:00):
Oh my god, listen so bad? Listen. In one session,
I ran out of therapy and left my daughter in there.
The therapists had to call and get somebody to take
her home. That's how painful.
Speaker 2 (23:16):
It was for because you couldn't face her.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
I couldn't, but I thank God for this therapist. No.
Speaker 2 (23:22):
But the point is that speaks exactly to what I'm
talking about. Yes, you can't even face your own children
because of the guilt you feel.
Speaker 1 (23:30):
That's right.
Speaker 2 (23:33):
So you're now a crack addict and you have one
kid that you're dumping off with your mom, and.
Speaker 1 (23:43):
Then I go get pregnant again.
Speaker 2 (23:44):
I was about saying, that's just the beginning. You just
getting started, girl, Yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:50):
Just getting started. And you know I have this baby.
And this baby is born with a hole in the heart,
and she has have a surgery heart surgery five days old.
And so in this process, my oldest child was not
born addicted, right, thank God. Yes, but this next child is.
(24:17):
And I inventially come.
Speaker 2 (24:19):
In you your third child was born addicted?
Speaker 1 (24:21):
Yeah, second and third second and man.
Speaker 2 (24:27):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:27):
And so the way I found out I was pregnant
with my third child is because I had drug deal
gone bad. I'm shot three times, twice in the leg,
once in a private area. I wake up three days
later in the Vanderbilt hospital. Right now, I'm a Jane Doe.
But they can't let nobody know you know who I am.
(24:49):
My family's calling when I get up, there's like, do
you know this person? They say to your brother, This
person say to your sister. This person said to your cousin.
I was like, well, that's my brother, that's my It
was like, well, we can't release anything. We'll let you
call your brother. Right now, is still an investigation.
Speaker 2 (25:07):
And you found out you were pregnant with your third
kid because you got shot. Oh yeah, drug deal gone bat.
I guess.
Speaker 1 (25:14):
Settle Court Settle Court Projects East in Nashville.
Speaker 2 (25:20):
We'll be right back. There are people listening to us
that understand this life. The vast majority don't. The vast
majority of people just don't understand the life. And unfortunately,
I think our illustration of that life largely comes from
(25:41):
movies and TV shows, and we think we understand it
because we've dedicated two hours of our lives to watching
a movie that sensationalizes the drug culture in our urban
inner cities. Well, newsflash, that's a movie. You don't bathe,
(26:06):
You drop your kids off at anybody's place to get
away from them, because really they're in the way of
your drug habbit. You're hustling, you're probably dealing, many women
are prostituting, You're around lots of guns and crime. Would
(26:28):
you paint a picture of six months of that life
for us, just a six month period of your life,
and I don't. I really think it's important for people
to understand the raw truth. But when you don't bathe,
because you're on the street for a week at a time,
(26:50):
especially as a female, and you don't even take care
of basic hygiene, just paint a picture what that looks
like of this lack of humanity that exists in this world.
Speaker 1 (27:06):
And it's not even the bathing. So this when I
talked about that obsession and that compulsion, you know, you're
just chasing that one more, right, and that one more hit,
that one more hit. I don't care if you listen.
I realized I was selling drugs, right, Not to get rich,
(27:26):
not to be the big drug dealer, right, but it
was to supply my own habit, so I wouldn't have
to prostitute. Right. But guess what, I didn't have time
to take the baths, right, I didn't have time to
eat when I went to jail. I was probably one
eighty one ninety. I came out of jail when four fifteen, right,
(27:52):
But you neglect not only listen, I would probably three
four days later when I when when I was in
my right mind. Right, But when I'm zoned out, I
may beat them. Passed out for three or four days,
I get up, take another two or three days before
(28:13):
I take a bath before I eat. Right?
Speaker 2 (28:19):
Are you are you stealing for the habit if you
have to?
Speaker 1 (28:22):
Oh? No, so so so so oh oh the life
the life steals for the habit. Listen, and not only
from Let me tell you something I remember stealing from
my mom.
Speaker 2 (28:38):
Oh right, and a woman who wore holy shoes and
pile money on the zena. So you had food, yes,
and you're gonna steal from her.
Speaker 1 (28:48):
And here's the thing, it was my money. So in
our addictive mindsets we tell ourselves I'm only gonna do
this much today. I'm not I'm only gonna smoke this much. So, hey, mom,
will you put these three hundred dollars up from me?
And so Mom keeps the money? Well, mom going to
the bathroom when they dropped the purse right, Usually any
(29:11):
other time, I was like, hey, Mom, you dropped this,
But it was at one time, man, I went in
there and took a hundred bucks out of her purse.
Her look, it was a little corn purse where she
kept the money in and it was about the toilet,
and I laid it back by the toilet, and so
(29:31):
she asked me, did you see my corn person there?
Did you get some money out of there? And I
said no, ma'am. She said, okay, it took me about
a week. I had never lied to my mama like that, right,
took me about a week, And so Mama did it.
(29:52):
So why'd you lie to me? That stuff? Making you lie,
I said her, Mama, you need fe used to healthcare.
But not only does it not make you let you
bathe eat, it makes you lie. It makes you steal,
like from that very thing you say you love. It
(30:14):
does not discriminate. It has no respect for mankind. It
turns you into an animal. Oh more than animal. Listen
you are, I tell you what have you ever seen
the blackbirds? What do they call blackbirds? Yeah? The big
(30:38):
black ones are their vultures?
Speaker 2 (30:39):
Yeah? Okay, yeah, I mean you mean pick it at
a dead body on the side of the street. Dead, Yeah,
I think they're vultures or buzzers or something. Buzzers.
Speaker 1 (30:49):
Yeah, I mean, like, just listen, you don't stand a
chance man. When the mind set is gone and it's
chasing that one more any means necessary to get.
Speaker 2 (31:06):
That one hit, don't you sober up at some point
look at yourself and say damn, oh for inkling of
a moment, and then you're buy your back.
Speaker 1 (31:18):
Now, there's hope, right, But nine times out of ten,
and there are people who's been capable of relinquishing the
relationship with crack on their own right. But nine times
out of ten, you need not only moral support, like
(31:39):
you really need to go in detox from that thing
and get it at your system. And you got to
start changing your surroundings, your behaviors, your people, your conversations,
your phone numbers. Like you gotta do a drastic change, man.
Speaker 2 (31:56):
Yeah, I've heard it described as the grip. Yeah, that
is just grips you and don't turn loose.
Speaker 1 (32:03):
Listen, And it's not. And it's not to say that
I'm weak. It's to say that crack cocaine is more
powerful than I am.
Speaker 2 (32:19):
So three babies a crack addiction. You've probably been in
jail a few times, yes, you know I was.
Speaker 1 (32:35):
I thought about getting a jersey. What a jersey?
Speaker 2 (32:39):
What was it gonna be?
Speaker 1 (32:42):
It was gonna say the number was gonna be seventeen
on the jersey and the name on the back was
gonna be felling.
Speaker 2 (32:54):
You caught seventeen felonies. Actually was more than that.
Speaker 1 (32:57):
But you know, because some of it, stuff they do
to you is double jeopardy, and so you get a
good judge that'll say, hey, we're just gonna combine all
this over into one and you know, so they gave
me a couple of breaks.
Speaker 2 (33:12):
Yeah, all right, And at some point in prison, you
start doing a mentoring program or something.
Speaker 1 (33:22):
You know, I can't even begin to tell you how
God orchestrated that thing, but you know, there was a
treatment program called Chances, And technically I didn't have family
support right when I went to jail, so I'm on
the indigen list. So can you imagine this person out there.
(33:43):
You got all these drug charges, right, I get caught
my last bus like seven eight ounces of drugs, moneys, cars, everything.
But I go to jail and I'm indigent, Like I
don't have the family and friends in the showcase of
lifestyle to support me. So I'm in there. I'm indigent,
and the same behaviors I had on the street follow
(34:05):
me in jail. So I got friends in there and
people that don't work release access, access to street things.
And so I started selling cigarettes and that was my resource.
So I got bens of you pull out beside your bed.
(34:25):
You got the little storage binds. I got your storage
being their storage bend. We're just working storage bends, right.
We got our own commissary going on in the part,
and so that was survival. You know, I got people
bringing me in you know, T shirts and things like that,
and so that was all cool, and it looked great
(34:47):
because it matched some of the lifestyle that I had
out there. But I thank God for this lady today,
Ali Marlowe Man. She was a counselor in there. And
in this side of the part had what they call population,
right and over in this side of the part you
had treatment people, residential treatment in a program.
Speaker 2 (35:10):
And so the population side was just like the street
shine bars, but the treatment side were people that were
actually saying, I don't want to be part of the population.
I really do want to try to get better. Yes, yes, exactly.
Speaker 1 (35:27):
And so I'm over here in population, they over had
treatment and I'm over there calling them treatment hose, and man,
y'all brainwashed? Why is y'all live? Y'all gonna get out
and do the same thing.
Speaker 2 (35:39):
And this lady treatment hose, That is what I said. No,
I hear you, But that's got to be you didn't
make that up. That's got to be a thing. Yeah,
that's almost like Uncle Tom or something else. It's derogatory
as crap.
Speaker 1 (35:56):
It is, And I am so embarrassed even think that
I said that.
Speaker 2 (36:01):
No, I'm not doing that. No, no, no, no, no, no, no,
what all I'm saying, is trying to get an accurate
mental illustration and picture of the society that exists inside jail.
Speaker 1 (36:15):
And I'm telling them, I'm calling them out of their name, right,
and I'm telling them to just being brainwashed. You're gonna
go back like I'm not providing any hope, right And regardless, Trean,
if you don't want to do it, why do you
have to be little of the people who do? And so?
Speaker 2 (36:31):
But my mindset, you got to recuse misery loves company,
that's right and so.
Speaker 1 (36:37):
And guess what, I'm jealous that you over training. And
I ain't got the courage to try, right. And so
this lady steps to me and say, you know, it's
one thing that you're afraid to change and get help,
but don't affect the people who want to said, I
(36:57):
ain't scared to get no help, right, I still streatment
telling them, I'm talking to the lady counselor. They said,
I tell you what now, if anybody know anything about incarceration,
no where, no matter where you're at, if you ever
get a bottom bunk, it's like having a California keen bed,
(37:21):
You're golden, right. And that woman said, if you try
treatment for thirty days and you survived without giving up
and walking out. I promise to give you a bottom
bunk for the rest of your time. I said, I'm
(37:42):
not gonna stay in that bed. She said, no, for
the rest of your time. You got to serve. I'm
gonna award you a bottom bark. I said, hmm, no,
I want to talk to her friend. She said, triny, y'all,
ha tried, not for the bottom bank, because you want
to get better. You need to get better. I said,
I want that bott a bunk, right, And so you know,
(38:05):
I ponder on it for a minute. She said, but
you're gonna have to leave all that behavior, them cigarettes
and relationships and all that on the other side. I
was like, mmm, so I ponder on it. She come around.
I like this woman today. Man. She would come around
about a part and people be ovand group on the
(38:28):
other side, and she said, what's up, chicken? She ready?
And so one day I said I'm coming. I'm gonna
come Monday. She said, all right, well I'm going to
move you. I'm making the move. And so it was
like a Thursday and somebody came and said, hey, training
(38:48):
it was Friday. I said, Hey, you know you're on
the move this weekend. I said, move. Well, she said,
he't move you over there. I said, I told that
one more Monday. So when the people, one of the
interns of the group said, I said, man, tell me,
it's my law. I told her on Monday. They said,
a move is a move, and she's ready to move you.
(39:11):
You have to come when the move come, I said, man,
I said, this is a setup. Man. I was like,
she just set me up for real, And so I
ended up moving. I'm in group. We're talking and people
are really getting honest right, well to the best of
their ability, right, And I got upset one time and
(39:33):
I was like, man, y'all just talking about the surface stuff,
like for real, for real, if we're gonna get up
out of here and not come back, man, we got
to do something different. And so I went to a
couple of groups. But I'm telling you it was a
struggle at first, because you got to get up at
like five o'clock in the morning, right, your bed gotta
(39:53):
be made. And I wasn't used to making my bed.
Like they were helping me, like they wanted me to
make These women. They was like, come on, trim you
go get your shower, I'm a hip and make your bed.
And like they were really supporting me, counselor Gata hold over.
She said, you don't make her bed, You don't help her.
She needs to do this for her. Sup. I was like,
(40:16):
they get to help them. They say yeah, but remember
you were over calling them treatment holds. Let's see what
a treatment hold look like now. And I was like,
oh my god.
Speaker 2 (40:29):
And that concludes part one of my conversation with Trina Frarson,
and you do not want to miss part two that's
now available to listen to it as we dive deeper
into her own recovery and how that has led to
the recovery of countless others. Together, guys, we can change
the country. It starts with you. I'll see you in
(40:51):
part two.
Speaker 1 (41:00):
Little dwe
We have not only residents of treatment, we have a
medical detox. Can you think about a seventeen time fella
hiring a medical doctor. I mean you think, I mean, like,
who does it right?
Speaker 2 (00:17):
Well, you do, my friend.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
So we got nurses, nurse practitioners, rins, case manager, counselors.
But let me say this more importantly, thirty five percent
of my staff is people who have come through my
program and are in recovery.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
Welcome to an army of normal folks. I'm Bill Courtney,
I'm a normal guy. I'm a husband, I'm a father,
I'm an entrepreneur, and I've been a football coach an
inner City Memphis. And the last part it accidentally led
to an oscar for the film about our team. It's
called Undefeated. I believe our country's problems will never be
(01:03):
solved by a bunch of fancy people and nice suits
talking big words that nobody understands on CNN and Fox,
but rather by an army of normal folks, US just
you and me deciding hey, I can help. That's what
Trina Frarson, the voice we just heard, has done. After
racking up seventeen felonies, Trina finally had enough and had
(01:27):
a vision for a resource center to help other women
like her coming back from prison, and today her nonprofit,
Mending Hearts has grown into something far beyond her wildest imagination,
owning fifteen homes in Nashville that provide shelter, hope, and
healing to women who are homeless due to addiction and
(01:50):
mental health disorders. I cannot wait for you to meet
Trina right after these brief messages from our Generals sponsors.
(02:14):
So you grew up me Snashville. You're one of six
Your father passed away.
Speaker 1 (02:21):
Yeah, father passed away at the age of six. Yeah,
so didn't get much relationship there. But my oldest brother
became my father figure.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
How much older was he than you?
Speaker 1 (02:35):
See, he was seven years older than I was, actually
at the age of fifteen. I was fifteen passed when
he was twenty two. But he was the guy that
came in. Father figure worked two jobs like my mom
helped take care of his other siblings. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
So you grew up in a predominantly black area of
the East Nashville and your mom's working trying to raise
six dad's past fifteen year old brothers are having to
take father like roles. The community is very important. Twelve
or thirteen is when you put your tires on the
(03:16):
first squirrely road. Yeah, you know, and we're going to
go through the unraveling before we go through the redemption.
So just I'm going to sit and listen to you
kind of unfold twelve through maybe sixteen or seventeen.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
Yeah, you know, I was, you know, I think my
first want to be grown.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
Habit grow, Yeah, we want to be grown.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
Have you know? My mom used to make this corn
cob wine. You don't have to sit over a year
before you can drink it. And uh man, I used
to that's shine pretty much.
Speaker 2 (03:53):
Yeah, yeah, your mom made shining.
Speaker 1 (03:55):
Mom made shining to bring it and she'd bring it
out on the holidays right right it thanks Giving, it Christmas.
And I think my first first time of alcohol is
I sipped and snuck and snipped sip some and I
seen my brother and them do it, and so like
I'm the baby of the family right out of six,
and so I seen him do it, and so I
(04:15):
was like, I'm gonna do that when nobody's looking, right.
I think that was my first shot. But you know,
at the age of twelve, I got caught smoking.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
Siggs are weeds cigarettes, okay.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
And so my brother's best friend lived on the street
coming from Hollan Nights Junior High. And I think that
nobody's see him and there at work, right, No, it
was his off day. He called me. I was walking
down the street smoking by the time I got home
my brother's home. My mom never whooped me, but my
(04:50):
brother did. Really, oh man, he gave me a good whooping.
And I'm telling you, it made me clean the whole house,
like I didn't just get a whooping, like I got
punished again, like clean up his whole house, right, And
so that was my first encounter. I want to be grown.
But you know, at the age of fourteen, I used
(05:12):
to meet up with my sister and brother and them
in the back room of our house. My mom was
already gone to work. You know. My mom used to
divide lunch money up on our TV at the TV
stuff I just had, you know, the big TV console model,
Floria model is what we called it. Yeah, and Zenith, Yes,
(05:36):
that's it. That's it.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
And so in fact, they make got one of those
things in this place.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
You know what you're about, right, probably.
Speaker 2 (05:42):
Got something like that a lot here somewhere anyway, so
and we'd get our lunch.
Speaker 1 (05:47):
But but prior to going to school, Mom's already worked
and fixed breakfast for us and everything. They're in this
back room. It's almost like a meeting, and it's two
of my brothers and uh now three of my brothers
and my sister, right, and so the back there rolling
(06:07):
their joints and you know, smoking the weed. And I'm
sitting back here on the chair and I just remember
it visually. I'm on the arm of this cheer and uh,
I'm just watching them. And my sister says, God bless
us alf she just passed last week. But uh, she says,
uh here and she rolls up some But you know,
(06:31):
back then, it was the when you got this budded
weed right at the end of the bag, there's the
dust that round and listen, she pulled it into this
paper and it was probably more paper than marijuana, right,
But I was happy to be a part of the club, man,
uh like, and coming from my big sister and she's like, hey,
(06:52):
h here and don't tell nobody. She waited till everybody
left the room and gave it to me, And I
thought that was a bond you know, but that was
my insane thinking back then. I really thought there was
a bond for me and my sister in like she
knew I wanted to be a part of the club. Right.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
It's almost like an indoctrination, yes, which I know your
sister didn't intend.
Speaker 1 (07:17):
Oh no, but that's what it is. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
so you know, and she she go off to work,
we go off to school. And so.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
Your mom, I'm sorry, but your mom working two jobs
with six kids fighting? Yeah, I mean those salmon croquette
and the rice and the whole thing that that she
worked hard to be able to put that stuff on
the table. And she's piling up lunch money on the TV,
(07:51):
scraping together quarters and nichols. I So, I mean, this woman,
thy man, she's my hero of ma Mama listen, mister deadly.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
Uh and I think about, you know, just my process
with her. She died, you know, due to cancer, right,
but the things she sacrificed, uh, so that we have.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
Yeah, did she ever remarry or anything?
Speaker 1 (08:21):
Never?
Speaker 2 (08:23):
She didn't have time for a man if she's working
two job raising six.
Speaker 1 (08:27):
She had these white shoes they like you remember the
old nurse's shoes.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
Yeah, white white on white. Yes, white white.
Speaker 1 (08:36):
When I say the side of them right where your
baby toe is had a hole in it, and maybe
over at the top when I say, she took some
galls or some glue and covered that hold up. And
you remember the old white shoe polish. Oh, man, she
had that thing patch. It looked like it was a
little patch, but her shoes was clean and white, and
(08:58):
it might have had those hole patches in it. But
I'm telling you, if you looked at her kids, none
of their none of us had holes in our shoes,
none of them. She sacrificed. I see the sacrifice.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
Yeah, what would have done to her to know that
those kids were in the back room rolling up weed?
Speaker 1 (09:24):
You know, back in those days, probably the younger group.
She probably have lost it and definitely would have lost
it with me because of the baby. Yeah. I was
supposed to been her golden child, right, But but you
know I say that I later found out, Like I
(09:48):
thought I was a special kid in my mom's life.
But I later found out, man, she had a special
way with all the kids. I thought, I'm telling you,
I thought I had my way with my mom. I
thought I was the price child.
Speaker 2 (10:04):
She just made you all feel that way.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
Yes, I was like, man, it's like wow, but yeah,
you know, I think she would have blewe and lead
to no I right. I think she knew of my
sister and other brother, you know, because that was the
that was a thing back then, you know, like that
(10:27):
bringing it to a legalization right now, trying to get
it across the country. But uh, that was the little
thing back then, and it was beer and it wasn't
causing problems, you know, so so that wasn't a threat,
you know, to our society.
Speaker 2 (10:42):
People didn't. That's interesting you say that. Yeah, it wasn't
a beer in a little weed. You're saying was a thing,
But that wasn't the threat.
Speaker 1 (10:50):
That wasn't the threat.
Speaker 2 (10:51):
But you found it.
Speaker 1 (10:52):
Oh my god. Let me tell you.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
So after your indoctrination.
Speaker 1 (10:56):
Yeah, you know, I went on and every now and
then go to the park, meet up me and my friends.
You know, had a friend that could Back in those days,
you could go to the store. Your parents can say, hey,
I'm sitting Polo down there to get a six packs
of malonea, eggs and cheese. Put it on my tab, right,
and so you could go get things back then from
(11:18):
the store, right, and so you didn't have to be
twenty one. They put it in the grocery bag and
just hand it off you walk up the street. Right.
Speaker 2 (11:27):
That's going to be foreign to a lot of our listeners,
but let me just tell you, that is not a
black thing. That is not a Nashville thing, that is
not an inner city thing. My wife, when she was
thirteen growing up east of Memphis, the grandmother, her grandmother
would call the corner store and it was a mile
(11:51):
and a half away because they lived out in the country,
and my thirteen year old wife would drive her LTD
down Highway fourteen, pull up. She would get a pack
of Virginia sum of all ultra lights, a six pack
of beer, and some sandwich meating bread and the historical
gave it to her knowing it was going back to
(12:12):
my grandmother. And even though that's all that's illegal, definitely,
But I'm telling you, in the South, that was just
the way things worked back in those days. So when
you say that, I completely get it. A lot of
people listen to it to be white, but that really
is the way it worked.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
It is, you know. So I played a little bit,
you know with the marijuana and the beer, and it
was just on occasions, you know. It wasn't like all
the time and I go play ball and you know,
back in the community. But it was. It wasn't until
I first saw cocaine. I think it was in high school. Well,
(12:51):
let me say, there was supposed to be hair n
but I looked at it and it just didn't look
prison to me. You know, it was on a school
but I think my first Atlantic cocaine was in college.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
And now a few messages from our general sponsors, But first,
I hope you'll consider becoming a Premium member of the
Army at Normalfolks dot us. By becoming one for ten
bucks a month or one thousand dollars a year, you
can get access to cool benefits like bonus episodes, a
yearly group call, and even a one on one call
(13:29):
with me. Frankly, guys, Premium memberships also help us to
grow this army that our country desperately needs right now.
So I hope you'll think about it. We'll be right back.
Speaker 1 (13:53):
I left high school, right got a scholarship to college
where state community college? And so did you say ball
or ball gall And so I went there and my
freshman year. There, I come out of my apartment and
(14:18):
they got a party going on in the house and
there's a group over here. It's like here training going something.
And I said, what is that? I said? It said powder,
It's good. I was like, and they was just like
they had allergies or somethings like nah, I'm good, I'm good.
(14:38):
And so, you know, thank god I was able to
pass it up because I think my basketball career with
a crash sooner, right, uh. And so I went on
and it wasn't until you know, I ended up headed
back at my sophomore year and I noticed that I
was pregnant, and so I quit had the baby. After
(15:01):
having the baby, the guy, the baby's father, I came
home one day in the kitchen and I couldn't get
in because they had the door jammed up. And when
I finally get in, it's him and two other guys
in there. And I walk in there and they got
(15:22):
this what do you call it? Turns around and they
got needles going in them and so blinded by love,
first thing I say is I want some right, And
I thank God for this dude. Today he's dead and gone,
(15:45):
but I thank God for him. He was very angry
and he said, no, you don't, you don't ever want this.
And I said, but you say you love me. If
you can do it, I can do it. And it
was his nephew that took some powdered cocaine and put
it in a cigarette. And I had to smoke two
(16:06):
or three before I got the feeling it. But the
only thing I felt was my lips was numb, right,
and so but it had me thinking, See, it's one
thing about addiction and behaviors and stuff like that, right,
the obsession, right, is the thought process then the compulsion
(16:29):
of that never ending results. You just want more and
more and more, right, And so I'm looking at but
it was cool. So, you know, I was never a drinker,
and I wanted to drink a beer, you know. And
so probably that second or third time I smoke what
we call back then a jimmy, Right, that's cocaine and
(16:53):
a cigarette.
Speaker 2 (16:56):
A jimmy jimmy. So when we talk about cocaine, we're
talking about crack, right, we're talking about cocaine's.
Speaker 1 (17:03):
Cocaine, powdered cocaine. So you put it in tobacco cigarette? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (17:08):
Really?
Speaker 1 (17:08):
Yeah? So that we called it Jimmy. Right Now, crack
cocaine is formed up and cooked. That's the difference in
powder cocaine and crack coccas.
Speaker 2 (17:21):
It's mixed with stuff and cooked. Right, yeah, yeah, bacon soda,
bacon soda. Right, all right. And so but at this time,
we're not talking about crack yet. We're talking about just we're.
Speaker 1 (17:31):
Just talking about powder cocaine. But it was a family
member that came over and noticed that I was doing it.
And it was my niece, and she heard that I
was smoking powder and cigarettes, and she came over and said,
quit wasting your money. Let me show you something. And
so she comes bringing out all these utensils as if
she's in a chemistry lab or something, and she got
(17:54):
the pirates jars and stuff, and she goes into my
kitchen and she starts to cook it up. And he's
showing me what she's doing. And she bring out this
pipe and then she puts it on there and she
tells me how to pull window pool. And uh, that
was the thing that sent me out to space cracking.
(18:15):
That was cracking. And I tell you what what I
do remember is grabbing my daughter and taking her to
my mom and I knew my mom was sick, but
I took my daughter and I remember going out and
hanging out for two or three nights and not even
(18:38):
coming back home. And so that would go on and
own for years until I caught my first charge.
Speaker 2 (18:51):
Which we'll get to. I am looking at an amazing
woman right now, and I know the rest of the story,
which we'll get to. The person today, thinking about the
person that left their daughter with their cancer ridden sick
(19:12):
mother and didn't show up for three or four days
or a week because of their addiction to crime, what
do you say to that person now?
Speaker 1 (19:34):
You can't change the past, but you can mend today.
And what I mean by that is that nothing I
did back then I can change, But today I can
mend those broken roads. I can mend those broken relationships.
(19:59):
One is by not doing it right ever again right.
But also speak about it. We need to talk about
it around the tables. We need to put it on
the kitchen tables like this. This didn't happen in my family.
This just didn't happen on my street. It's happening everywhere.
(20:23):
You know. I regret it, but I do believe because
of what God has done in my life. I do
believe that my mama smiling today. I think the restoration
process of what I went through in the pain that
I suffered as a result of the harm I caused, right,
(20:46):
because we have to take ownership, Like I can't just
blame this all on addiction. Right.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
A big part of my story is fatherlessness because my
father left home when I was young, my mom was maraining,
divorced five times, and if any regular listener knows the story,
so I won't go deeply into it, but it's one
of the reasons I was able to connect so well
with the kids of manasses, because even though I don't
(21:22):
look like them or come from where they come, I
absolutely understand that part of the trauma of fatherlessness. And
I developed this idea that a lot of fatherlessness in
(21:43):
the hood, particularly comes from men who, when they wake
up in the morning and they look at their shattered
lives and the guilt they feel for all they're doing,
can hardly look themselves in the mirror, much less their sons.
(22:03):
How did you deal with the guilt? Because you had
to have had.
Speaker 1 (22:06):
It, oh tons of it, you know, I'm telling you.
A part of dealing with the guilt was continuing to
use right but self medicating, self medicating, but after you know,
being incarcerated right finding other resources. Therapy was my gatekeeper.
(22:34):
It was therapy. And I'm not talking about once a
month type therapy. I'm talking about two or three days
a week therapy. I'm talking about bringing my kids in,
letting them get gut level honestly about how they felt
neglected and abandoned by my decisions and my behaviors. Can that,
(23:00):
Oh my god, listen so bad? Listen. In one session,
I ran out of therapy and left my daughter in there.
The therapists had to call and get somebody to take
her home. That's how painful.
Speaker 2 (23:16):
It was for because you couldn't face her.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
I couldn't, but I thank God for this therapist. No.
Speaker 2 (23:22):
But the point is that speaks exactly to what I'm
talking about. Yes, you can't even face your own children
because of the guilt you feel.
Speaker 1 (23:30):
That's right.
Speaker 2 (23:33):
So you're now a crack addict and you have one
kid that you're dumping off with your mom, and.
Speaker 1 (23:43):
Then I go get pregnant again.
Speaker 2 (23:44):
I was about saying, that's just the beginning. You just
getting started, girl, Yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:50):
Just getting started. And you know I have this baby.
And this baby is born with a hole in the heart,
and she has have a surgery heart surgery five days old.
And so in this process, my oldest child was not
born addicted, right, thank God. Yes, but this next child is.
(24:17):
And I inventially come.
Speaker 2 (24:19):
In you your third child was born addicted?
Speaker 1 (24:21):
Yeah, second and third second and man.
Speaker 2 (24:27):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:27):
And so the way I found out I was pregnant
with my third child is because I had drug deal
gone bad. I'm shot three times, twice in the leg,
once in a private area. I wake up three days
later in the Vanderbilt hospital. Right now, I'm a Jane Doe.
But they can't let nobody know you know who I am.
(24:49):
My family's calling when I get up, there's like, do
you know this person? They say to your brother, This
person say to your sister. This person said to your cousin.
I was like, well, that's my brother, that's my It
was like, well, we can't release anything. We'll let you
call your brother. Right now, is still an investigation.
Speaker 2 (25:07):
And you found out you were pregnant with your third
kid because you got shot. Oh yeah, drug deal gone bat.
I guess.
Speaker 1 (25:14):
Settle Court Settle Court Projects East in Nashville.
Speaker 2 (25:20):
We'll be right back. There are people listening to us
that understand this life. The vast majority don't. The vast
majority of people just don't understand the life. And unfortunately,
I think our illustration of that life largely comes from
(25:41):
movies and TV shows, and we think we understand it
because we've dedicated two hours of our lives to watching
a movie that sensationalizes the drug culture in our urban
inner cities. Well, newsflash, that's a movie. You don't bathe,
(26:06):
You drop your kids off at anybody's place to get
away from them, because really they're in the way of
your drug habbit. You're hustling, you're probably dealing, many women
are prostituting, You're around lots of guns and crime. Would
(26:28):
you paint a picture of six months of that life
for us, just a six month period of your life,
and I don't. I really think it's important for people
to understand the raw truth. But when you don't bathe,
because you're on the street for a week at a time,
(26:50):
especially as a female, and you don't even take care
of basic hygiene, just paint a picture what that looks
like of this lack of humanity that exists in this world.
Speaker 1 (27:06):
And it's not even the bathing. So this when I
talked about that obsession and that compulsion, you know, you're
just chasing that one more, right, and that one more hit,
that one more hit. I don't care if you listen.
I realized I was selling drugs, right, Not to get rich,
(27:26):
not to be the big drug dealer, right, but it
was to supply my own habit, so I wouldn't have
to prostitute. Right. But guess what, I didn't have time
to take the baths, right, I didn't have time to
eat when I went to jail. I was probably one
eighty one ninety. I came out of jail when four fifteen, right,
(27:52):
But you neglect not only listen, I would probably three
four days later when I when when I was in
my right mind. Right, But when I'm zoned out, I
may beat them. Passed out for three or four days,
I get up, take another two or three days before
(28:13):
I take a bath before I eat. Right?
Speaker 2 (28:19):
Are you are you stealing for the habit if you
have to?
Speaker 1 (28:22):
Oh? No, so so so so oh oh the life
the life steals for the habit. Listen, and not only
from Let me tell you something I remember stealing from
my mom.
Speaker 2 (28:38):
Oh right, and a woman who wore holy shoes and
pile money on the zena. So you had food, yes,
and you're gonna steal from her.
Speaker 1 (28:48):
And here's the thing, it was my money. So in
our addictive mindsets we tell ourselves I'm only gonna do
this much today. I'm not I'm only gonna smoke this much. So, hey, mom,
will you put these three hundred dollars up from me?
And so Mom keeps the money? Well, mom going to
the bathroom when they dropped the purse right, Usually any
(29:11):
other time, I was like, hey, Mom, you dropped this,
But it was at one time, man, I went in
there and took a hundred bucks out of her purse.
Her look, it was a little corn purse where she
kept the money in and it was about the toilet,
and I laid it back by the toilet, and so
(29:31):
she asked me, did you see my corn person there?
Did you get some money out of there? And I
said no, ma'am. She said, okay, it took me about
a week. I had never lied to my mama like that, right,
took me about a week, And so Mama did it.
(29:52):
So why'd you lie to me? That stuff? Making you lie,
I said her, Mama, you need fe used to healthcare.
But not only does it not make you let you
bathe eat, it makes you lie. It makes you steal,
like from that very thing you say you love. It
(30:14):
does not discriminate. It has no respect for mankind. It
turns you into an animal. Oh more than animal. Listen
you are, I tell you what have you ever seen
the blackbirds? What do they call blackbirds? Yeah? The big
(30:38):
black ones are their vultures?
Speaker 2 (30:39):
Yeah? Okay, yeah, I mean you mean pick it at
a dead body on the side of the street. Dead, Yeah,
I think they're vultures or buzzers or something. Buzzers.
Speaker 1 (30:49):
Yeah, I mean, like, just listen, you don't stand a
chance man. When the mind set is gone and it's
chasing that one more any means necessary to get.
Speaker 2 (31:06):
That one hit, don't you sober up at some point
look at yourself and say damn, oh for inkling of
a moment, and then you're buy your back.
Speaker 1 (31:18):
Now, there's hope, right, But nine times out of ten,
and there are people who's been capable of relinquishing the
relationship with crack on their own right. But nine times
out of ten, you need not only moral support, like
(31:39):
you really need to go in detox from that thing
and get it at your system. And you got to
start changing your surroundings, your behaviors, your people, your conversations,
your phone numbers. Like you gotta do a drastic change, man.
Speaker 2 (31:56):
Yeah, I've heard it described as the grip. Yeah, that
is just grips you and don't turn loose.
Speaker 1 (32:03):
Listen, And it's not. And it's not to say that
I'm weak. It's to say that crack cocaine is more
powerful than I am.
Speaker 2 (32:19):
So three babies a crack addiction. You've probably been in
jail a few times, yes, you know I was.
Speaker 1 (32:35):
I thought about getting a jersey. What a jersey?
Speaker 2 (32:39):
What was it gonna be?
Speaker 1 (32:42):
It was gonna say the number was gonna be seventeen
on the jersey and the name on the back was
gonna be felling.
Speaker 2 (32:54):
You caught seventeen felonies. Actually was more than that.
Speaker 1 (32:57):
But you know, because some of it, stuff they do
to you is double jeopardy, and so you get a
good judge that'll say, hey, we're just gonna combine all
this over into one and you know, so they gave
me a couple of breaks.
Speaker 2 (33:12):
Yeah, all right, And at some point in prison, you
start doing a mentoring program or something.
Speaker 1 (33:22):
You know, I can't even begin to tell you how
God orchestrated that thing, but you know, there was a
treatment program called Chances, And technically I didn't have family
support right when I went to jail, so I'm on
the indigen list. So can you imagine this person out there.
(33:43):
You got all these drug charges, right, I get caught
my last bus like seven eight ounces of drugs, moneys, cars, everything.
But I go to jail and I'm indigent, Like I
don't have the family and friends in the showcase of
lifestyle to support me. So I'm in there. I'm indigent,
and the same behaviors I had on the street follow
(34:05):
me in jail. So I got friends in there and
people that don't work release access, access to street things.
And so I started selling cigarettes and that was my resource.
So I got bens of you pull out beside your bed.
(34:25):
You got the little storage binds. I got your storage
being their storage bend. We're just working storage bends, right.
We got our own commissary going on in the part,
and so that was survival. You know, I got people
bringing me in you know, T shirts and things like that,
and so that was all cool, and it looked great
(34:47):
because it matched some of the lifestyle that I had
out there. But I thank God for this lady today,
Ali Marlowe Man. She was a counselor in there. And
in this side of the part had what they call population,
right and over in this side of the part you
had treatment people, residential treatment in a program.
Speaker 2 (35:10):
And so the population side was just like the street
shine bars, but the treatment side were people that were
actually saying, I don't want to be part of the population.
I really do want to try to get better. Yes, yes, exactly.
Speaker 1 (35:27):
And so I'm over here in population, they over had
treatment and I'm over there calling them treatment hose, and man,
y'all brainwashed? Why is y'all live? Y'all gonna get out
and do the same thing.
Speaker 2 (35:39):
And this lady treatment hose, That is what I said. No,
I hear you, But that's got to be you didn't
make that up. That's got to be a thing. Yeah,
that's almost like Uncle Tom or something else. It's derogatory
as crap.
Speaker 1 (35:56):
It is, And I am so embarrassed even think that
I said that.
Speaker 2 (36:01):
No, I'm not doing that. No, no, no, no, no, no, no,
what all I'm saying, is trying to get an accurate
mental illustration and picture of the society that exists inside jail.
Speaker 1 (36:15):
And I'm telling them, I'm calling them out of their name, right,
and I'm telling them to just being brainwashed. You're gonna
go back like I'm not providing any hope, right And regardless, Trean,
if you don't want to do it, why do you
have to be little of the people who do? And so?
Speaker 2 (36:31):
But my mindset, you got to recuse misery loves company,
that's right and so.
Speaker 1 (36:37):
And guess what, I'm jealous that you over training. And
I ain't got the courage to try, right. And so
this lady steps to me and say, you know, it's
one thing that you're afraid to change and get help,
but don't affect the people who want to said, I
(36:57):
ain't scared to get no help, right, I still streatment
telling them, I'm talking to the lady counselor. They said,
I tell you what now, if anybody know anything about incarceration,
no where, no matter where you're at, if you ever
get a bottom bunk, it's like having a California keen bed,
(37:21):
You're golden, right. And that woman said, if you try
treatment for thirty days and you survived without giving up
and walking out. I promise to give you a bottom
bunk for the rest of your time. I said, I'm
(37:42):
not gonna stay in that bed. She said, no, for
the rest of your time. You got to serve. I'm
gonna award you a bottom bark. I said, hmm, no,
I want to talk to her friend. She said, triny, y'all,
ha tried, not for the bottom bank, because you want
to get better. You need to get better. I said,
I want that bott a bunk, right, And so you know,
(38:05):
I ponder on it for a minute. She said, but
you're gonna have to leave all that behavior, them cigarettes
and relationships and all that on the other side. I
was like, mmm, so I ponder on it. She come around.
I like this woman today. Man. She would come around
about a part and people be ovand group on the
(38:28):
other side, and she said, what's up, chicken? She ready?
And so one day I said I'm coming. I'm gonna
come Monday. She said, all right, well I'm going to
move you. I'm making the move. And so it was
like a Thursday and somebody came and said, hey, training
(38:48):
it was Friday. I said, Hey, you know you're on
the move this weekend. I said, move. Well, she said,
he't move you over there. I said, I told that
one more Monday. So when the people, one of the
interns of the group said, I said, man, tell me,
it's my law. I told her on Monday. They said,
a move is a move, and she's ready to move you.
(39:11):
You have to come when the move come, I said, man,
I said, this is a setup. Man. I was like,
she just set me up for real, And so I
ended up moving. I'm in group. We're talking and people
are really getting honest right, well to the best of
their ability, right, And I got upset one time and
(39:33):
I was like, man, y'all just talking about the surface stuff,
like for real, for real, if we're gonna get up
out of here and not come back, man, we got
to do something different. And so I went to a
couple of groups. But I'm telling you it was a
struggle at first, because you got to get up at
like five o'clock in the morning, right, your bed gotta
(39:53):
be made. And I wasn't used to making my bed.
Like they were helping me, like they wanted me to
make These women. They was like, come on, trim you
go get your shower, I'm a hip and make your bed.
And like they were really supporting me, counselor Gata hold over.
She said, you don't make her bed, You don't help her.
She needs to do this for her. Sup. I was like,
(40:16):
they get to help them. They say yeah, but remember
you were over calling them treatment holds. Let's see what
a treatment hold look like now. And I was like,
oh my god.
Speaker 2 (40:29):
And that concludes part one of my conversation with Trina Frarson,
and you do not want to miss part two that's
now available to listen to it as we dive deeper
into her own recovery and how that has led to
the recovery of countless others. Together, guys, we can change
the country. It starts with you. I'll see you in
(40:51):
part two.
Speaker 1 (41:00):
Little dwe
Host
Bill Courtney
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