December 15, 2023 • 47 mins
On this week’s episode of IRL Podcast, Angie sits down with multi grammy award winning, platinum artist Alicia Keys. However this superstar has added a few more titles to her belt. She is also now the lead producer, composer, and creative force behind the groundbreaking musical, "Hell's Kitchen." Loosely based on her upbringing in NYC, Alicia shares how the production intertwines her mother's dreams and her own, creating a poignant love letter between mother and daughter.
In a touching moment, Alicia shares the impact of her new production on her family dynamics, particularly with her son, illustrating his protective nature and their unbreakable bond. The conversation between Angie and Alicia evolves into the joys and challenges of being a seasoned mom, exchanging stories and wisdom as mothers of boys.
Alicia discusses breaking free from the need for external validation in her career, prioritizing her relationship with her emotions, and learning to trust her instincts. She opens up about reconciling with her father, emphasizing the importance of releasing expectations and meeting people where they are in order to find peace.
Despite her global fame, Alicia Keys remains remarkably grounded and even lets the audience in on a heartwarming holiday tradition within her beautifully blended family. Tune in for an intimate conversation with Alicia Keys that celebrates resilience, family, and the power of embracing one's true self.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Edge Martinez in Real Life podcast. I mean it's a
leader kid.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
What is this space?
Speaker 1 (00:12):
Welcome to my space today, Welcome to the podcast. Thank you,
thank you my Little I r L Podcast. I love it.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
I love talking to you. I love your energy everything,
your energy, that's the that's something that's so special. So yes,
I do love it and congratulate.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
Thank you, baby, congratulations to you. First of all, we're
gonna start with you. I am excited about my podcast.
But first and foremost, last night, m I wish there
was somebody in the room who could just testify to
what I saw last night, Which is your new Well?
What are you the executive producer play? What is it?
Speaker 2 (00:47):
What is the First of all, it's a musical.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
That's a musical.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
I would be the lead producer for the musical that
also be the composer, and I'd also be the conceptualizer
of this and subject correct it is it is? It
is loosely based on my experiences growing up in New York.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
The whole thing is so good. I can't I want
to talk about it more and more like specific, but
it took me immediately to little Baby, Young Alicia. A
diary is on twenty years on twenty year anniversary. My
son is twenty. This is nuts. So it's like, Diary
is in college right now, Diary is going to college.
(01:26):
Oh it's been in college thirty year in college. Diary
is graduating college next year. Whoa I know? Are you
like a whole different person from them?
Speaker 2 (01:37):
Definitely, I'm a new person, of course. Of course I've
grown so much. I know so much. I was for
sure a baby. I was so I was definitely entering
my beginnings of my womanhood. But I was still so insecure,
so vulnerable were you?
Speaker 1 (01:54):
You never gave that.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
You always showed up like that was my trick. Yeah
that was wasn't it yours?
Speaker 1 (02:02):
It still is what I mean, I still show up
when I mean, I am more centered and I do
have more sense of purpose. So that gives you confidence,
and that gives you you know, and so I can
block out noise better. But I still have moments of like,
you know, totally thousand, you got to still show We
know how to show up, but we need to show up.
(02:23):
We still have moments. Yes, you all the way got
it together.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
No, nobody all the way has it together. And every
day is different, you know what I mean? But I
definitely have it together more than I had it together. Yes,
so thank god, please we need to grow somehow.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
What do you think the biggest difference is, though?
Speaker 2 (02:39):
What do you think the biggest difference is that at
that time, I really felt like I had to be
validated by people. I felt like I had to be accepted,
you know, people had to agree with me or I
had to people had to accept what I thought for
it to be good. And now I don't, you know, you.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
Look for opinions from everybody.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
Oh my god, yeah, I was the union seekert.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
What do you think?
Speaker 2 (03:02):
Do you like it? Do you like it? Do you
like it? Do you like it? Do you like it?
Do you like it? And if they didn't, if enough
people liked it, I liked it. If enough people didn't
like it, I also didn't like it, you know. And
it's like at some point you got to like, think
what you think and feel how you feel, and you
got to stand behind it and stand for it. And
you know, so that's well, that's what I think is
the biggest difference for me now.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
Was there's ever some amazing song that everybody didn't like
and you knew it was great and you never put
it out and left us in the it's still sitting
in a vault somewhere.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
I would no, I don't know. I mean maybe, but
people did feel that way about falling, believe it or not.
What do you mean people didn't understand falling at first?
These people which people I'm just saying, where I'm telling.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
These people, these people, where are they? Can we call
them now? Put them on the screen and see, didn't
you like label people are like friends or what?
Speaker 2 (03:57):
I think that. I think probably I would if I
would bring it back to it, I would definitely say
it was more on the label side or on the
business side. You know, it was a it was a
risk if you think, if you think about it, falling
was actually a risk. It didn't fit into the style
of music that was happening at the time, and it
was it was different. I mean most of my music
is always different. With Diary Realisia Keys, it was you
don't know my name. That was a risk. You don't
(04:18):
know my name wasn't like the sound at the time.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
It was was the sound at the time. I don't
remember the like a I don't know, I don't even.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
Know what was that. But the point is is you know,
I think that a lot of times, you know, people
like to do and encourage you to do what's already
been done. M It's like rare that people will tell you, hey,
take a take a chance, try something new, try something different.
(04:47):
It's very rare that people get behind that mentality. But
but I'm glad that I was never you know, I
always went with what felt good in my heart, and
that's always been my guiding.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
Like, yeah, thank god. Some opinions are everywhere.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
Wow, especially now I'm more than ever. I don't even
know how kids function today.
Speaker 1 (05:05):
I wondered that for you, cause you still are very
active and you very like even in socials and stuff,
you engage. You share, right, share a lot. Yes, your
family is Swiss. Swiss is always sharing something.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
The sharer of all sharers.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
I feel like he probably pushes you to share more
than you would have had you, guys not been a couple.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
I think he's he's actually really good at it, you know.
I think that the way that he does it and
the way that he shares is so genuine, and he
shares like what feels right, and it really does feel right,
and it feels unique and it feels like special. Yeah,
so he's really good at it. Yeah. I hit him
a lot, like, d what do you think about this?
He'd like, nah, not that. I was like, Okay, he
was there last night at the Hell's Kitchen.
Speaker 1 (05:45):
He was so proud of you, and Genesis was there.
He loves the git, just the musical.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
This was the first time Genesis saw the show, and
you know, he's so upset that I have to go,
and you know it's in New York and to make
to travel and to always be there to make sure
it's perfect. And so one day he was like, you
don't even want to spend time with your kids. All
(06:10):
you want to do is go to your stupid play.
And I was like, hey, that's not nice, man. I
don't call any of your things stupid. And so he
was like, well, that's all you want to do, And
I said, I know that you just miss me. I
know that's what that means. You want me to stay
and I want to stay too, you know what I mean.
But I'm really proud of what I'm working on and
(06:32):
you'll see, you'll see how much you're gonna like it.
So when he came yesterday, it was the first time
that he saw it after feeling, you know that the
normal feelings that a kid feels when you have to
let your parents go. You know, it's hard. And when
he was there and just rivet in and just looking
at every question, mam, when's the mother coming back? Ma,
(06:52):
when's the He had thousands of questions. Swiss was like,
if he don't be quiet, came to him to be
quiet because he's loud.
Speaker 1 (06:59):
He's so in to you though, like I saw a
little video of him protecting you at the concert, your security.
And then there was another one. Well, he didn't want
you to show too much boob, and that's pretty good
that Your favorite was, I do this? Mom?
Speaker 2 (07:16):
What's what's wrong? The heart? It's cool? So everybody can
see your boots? Can't your heart? I've never seen somebody
do that. Well, you're only eight. The worst is gonna
be a tiss.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
Okay, how about we do this? How well we do this?
Speaker 2 (07:33):
You do the time? It's boos everyone has.
Speaker 1 (07:36):
Pretty so much because I'm pasty and You're like, it's
just a boob.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
I was like, it's okay. He's like, ma, are we.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
Really gonna do this?
Speaker 2 (07:45):
Mom? Are we doing this?
Speaker 1 (07:47):
What is that? Who is that? That's what who is history.
Speaker 2 (07:51):
He's not protecting. Dad always says you protect the mom, right.
He takes it serious clearly.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
So cute.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
It's such a cute kid.
Speaker 1 (08:02):
It sounds like you're like a great mom. So how
is that like we should talk about the parenting? Part
of that is that I know we've talked since you've
been a mom, but now you're like a seasoned mom.
Speaker 2 (08:13):
I feel like, you know, you have two ever a
you know, I think are you ever a seasoned mom?
You definitely have more experience, for sure, But I feel
like it's constantly a conundrum, don't you. It's like constantly
something that you're bumping up against, something you haven't quite
been with before. And even if I've been through it
(08:34):
with Egypt, I haven't like Genesis way of expressing. It's
so different. And even all the kids, like I've always
felt blessed because together we have five kids, and so
I have like older kids that I've experienced what it's
gonna be like, Okay, this is how sixteen's gonna be
or this is what thirteen is gonna be like Now
(08:55):
Egypt's thirteen, and it's a little different. So I don't
know if you're ever a seasoned, but I do feel
a lot more. I just feel a lot more like
aware of how I want to talk with them and
express with them and things like that.
Speaker 1 (09:07):
No, and then also, they're not the same person who
they are two years from now. So you think you
got them down, you know how to manage them, and
then they become somebody else in a couple of years
and you have to kind of.
Speaker 2 (09:21):
Read learn and then so are you like I'm also
another person.
Speaker 1 (09:28):
Because mothers are actually pain so human. We are also
people evolving. This is absolutely true.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
So to kind of put that all together is it's amazing.
And I mean sometimes there's so much going on and
I need bed at a certain time and I need
to make sure the homework is at this time, and
then we're there. They're sitting there doing something and they're
cracking up laughing, and I'm like, I need you, And
I look back on it and I'm like, why didn't
I just laugh too? Could I just have laughed too?
(09:58):
And then we'd have just got on with it like
I made it. They almost took take longer to just
so it's like, y, yeah, I think you kind of
look at yourself too, and you realize how you can
kind of let certain things go or whatever you need
to do.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
Do you let your kids see you vulnerable? Like I
had this who was it?
Speaker 2 (10:13):
Uh? Oh?
Speaker 1 (10:14):
We had Kelly uh Clarkson on the show and she
went through a divorce and she was talking about, you know,
she went through a really hard time and she let
her kids, she let sh not too much, but just
enough so that she would explain, mommy sad. And yeah,
she operates on the some some parents don't. Some parents
believe in like shielding shielding. Yeah, and there's like a
fine line, I guess, but are you, like, how are
(10:36):
you with these seems like you would be leaning towards vulnerable.
Speaker 2 (10:39):
Feel like it's really important to be able to learn
how to have relationships with your emotions, you know. And
I think especially as boys, we a lot of times
we make boys have to be so like teflon and
and we think that that's what how a man expresses
or how a boy expresses. And I do think that
(10:59):
for all of us, cause I think as women as well,
we also feel like we have to be tough. Alon,
we gotta put on the armor and no, let's not
get penetrated. And I think that that develops a unhealthy
relationship with our emotions. We can't access them. And I
personally went through that. I experience that way. I just
could not access my emotions. I did not know how
to share what I actually felt truly. I knew how
(11:20):
to share the like version of it, that was the words,
you know, but I couldn't properly truly express it in
a way that felt as raw as I felt it
on the inside. And I thought that that I had
to learn how to practice to put to words my
real feelings as opposed to holding the men. And so
I really feel like getting having a relationship with your
(11:42):
emotions is important. Yeah, I'm not overly emotional, so you know,
I think that's just natural balance that I have. Yeah,
but the other day I did I boohooed in the
Carbon Genesis. He looked at me like you had to
see his face. He was like, I'm sorry that I
didn't do another and I should have been more. And
I really apologized for and he instantly. And I was
(12:05):
not doing that for him to feel bad or to
have to apologize to me, But it just was how
I felt, and it just was like I was overwhelmed
at the moment he was like, I never saw you
cry like that before, man, And next ten days after
my remer, when you just started crying, like I never
saw you cry like that before. It and it and
(12:25):
it touched him, and I think that, you know, that's
a part of that's a part of just irl my
real life and it happens.
Speaker 1 (12:33):
What could trigger something like that, is that a bad day?
Is that some is that I.
Speaker 2 (12:36):
Was personally overwhelmed. Actually for him, I felt like there
was a lot of things going on that I was
just needing to come to terms with, like with school
and some different things, and I just felt like I
was uncomfortable with where it was circling and I felt
out of control. I felt like I was not able
to have a handle on it to the way that
I wanted to. And to see him feel uncomfortable about
(12:59):
certain things made me uncomfortable. And when I couldn't kind
of get it under control, it just like I was like,
I don't have control of this. Yeah, And it just
kind of like felt, you know, overwhelming in that way,
and I just I don't know, it just came out,
oh you know what I mean, It just came out.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
And he just adores you too. So he was probably like,
what it's happening.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
He was like, whoa hoo, whoa whoa, whoa whoa whoa.
But and then man, it's crazy how the emotions that
we feel for them. Wow, like you never know, it's
super wild.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
I was just talking about that, and I was telling
you this before. You're not ready for when they have
to go.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
Mmm, I'm not ready.
Speaker 1 (13:37):
Have you prepared at all?
Speaker 2 (13:38):
I'm not ready. It's okay, Sorry, I'm not ready. Tell
me how it goes.
Speaker 1 (13:43):
I'm to tell you how it goes.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
Yeah, how does it go?
Speaker 1 (13:45):
I was fully depressed for six months before he left
for college because I was preparing mentally, preparing myself to
be like I just was so sad, you know, it
was just him and I for a while. Then I
my bonus baby came in and we have I have
two there, but the idea of like my first born,
my baby, like leaving was traumatic for me. So for
six months I was super depressed before he left. And
(14:06):
then I was telling my girlfriend. I think it was
you know, Shaka pill Girl. I was telling Shaka I
was like, oh god, he's I got to take him
to school. I'm going to be a mess. I'm gonna
cry when I drop him off. She was like, no,
you're not. I was like, what do you mean, No,
I'm not, Yes, i am. I'm very emotional about this.
She was like, imagine how for him, like going into
a new space, new school, all this about how challenging
that is for him. Why do you want to make
(14:28):
that more dramatic? And I was like, oh, you're right.
He was not a good friend. And so then I
just kind of held myself together. I went there, we
set him up, we set the room, and I left
and I realized though, so after that, I realized, they
don't leave you. They're still there.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
All the time.
Speaker 1 (14:45):
Yeah, like he's still.
Speaker 2 (14:47):
Asking you for a thousand things all the time.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
It's cool, it's fine, No, they don't. There's still your children.
But so maybe you won't be sad for six months,
maybe yours will be three months now, two months, knowing
that it'll be okay. On the other side, I.
Speaker 2 (15:01):
Do know it'll be okay. But it's a big change. Man.
It's like you literally hold them. They can't do anything
without you. You have to. You plan your entire existence,
every move you make around them being good. And then
they don't need you, and it's kind of kind of crazy,
it's kind of fucked, it's kind of crazy. But they
(15:21):
do need you know.
Speaker 1 (15:23):
They always do know, they always do it, and I.
Speaker 2 (15:25):
Think whatever, they need to call you and make sure
you know and just like, yeah, the mama, there's only
one mama.
Speaker 1 (15:31):
People don't talking up about too, Like the partner you
choose and how you parent together. Did you have any
challenges with that or are you just kind of in
line with that or how do you guys manage that?
Speaker 2 (15:43):
I feel like we do really well. We're really we're
really in a beautiful sink just naturally, like our flow
has a good sink. And I think that on the
parenting side, he's really good at you know, he definitely
knows when it's time to step in because he's like, mm,
you know what, they need some dad energy. Sometimes you
(16:04):
need dad energy. Yes, But he's really good at, like
at being we are really good at being kind of
a a good flow, like what's gonna work best for
this particular inner, this child, cause each one's so different,
so you can't just like do the same thing all
the time for sure. So I think we're good at
kind of that flow. And I think he's he knows
that I have great instincts there too, and so he's like, well,
(16:25):
what do you what do you think? And if I
say listen, I re I know your your normal instinct
would be this, the less approach like this, yeah, and
he'll be open for it.
Speaker 1 (16:35):
Do you ever bump pets? Do you ever disagree I'm parenting?
And how do you manage that?
Speaker 2 (16:39):
Everybody does?
Speaker 1 (16:39):
So you can't tell me you don't we we?
Speaker 2 (16:41):
I was trying to think of, like, how ah ah
a time? Yeah, I think we definitely. I think it's
more about communicating about our own needs, cause I think
sometimes you spend so much time making sure the kids
needs are met that you do have to make sure
that the relationship between the kids and the parents don't
(17:03):
eliminate the parents' needs, you know what I mean? And
so I think in those ways are the ways that
we're communicative. And it's like, I'm noticing this pattern and
it's starting to feel uncomfortable. Mm, what should we what
should we do?
Speaker 1 (17:19):
How did you learn to do that? You grew up
in it w with just your mom? Yeah, so who
taught you that?
Speaker 2 (17:25):
Right? What did your therapy? I honestly haven't really. Uh
I did like a life coach thing that was helpful, helpful.
Speaker 1 (17:33):
Okay, what's the biggest yes, whatever, It's.
Speaker 2 (17:38):
Like I might be a life I feel like I
could be a life function in some way. But but yeah, no,
I think that I think that. Uh, I don't know.
I think maybe just just recognizing how when you can
express Again, I think it comes back to me not
having a great connection with my own emotions. And so
(18:00):
when I started to realize how toxic that could be.
Speaker 1 (18:03):
What does that mean?
Speaker 2 (18:04):
Though?
Speaker 1 (18:04):
Exactly? Like what is it?
Speaker 2 (18:05):
So what I was saying was thank you. Remember I
was talking before, and I was saying like I was
such a pleaser that I was disconnected to how I
actually felt. And so I would be so like, well,
what do they like? What do they think? Is this
good for you know, whatever choice I'm making in my career.
Oh they approve of that.
Speaker 1 (18:24):
Oh they like.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
The thing I did, the thing I wore, the thing
I said, or whatever. And I would be so outwardly
that I noticed that that became toxic because I didn't
have a relationship with myself to be able to say, no,
here's what I feel, here's what I actually feel. Just
this is what I feel. I don't know. You might
hate what I feel, but I feel this and to
(18:46):
actually be able to verbalize and say that wasn't so
easy for me. So I started to practice that more.
And because of that practice, that's what starts to make
I think Swiss and I even more able to communicate
better because I was able to say, no, this is
how I feel, and I know it's important. If I
don't tell you how I feel, and if you don't
tell me how you feel, that's when it doesn't It
just goes wrong. So that part, I think God has
(19:08):
to be able to communicate.
Speaker 1 (19:09):
That's dope because a lot of people do that. I
think that's a pretty common thing to do, is like
bury how you feel and have confidence in it and
also feeling like you trust somebody to give them all
of that. But what is the practice of that? How
do you snap out of that?
Speaker 2 (19:23):
For me? I think the practice because this is what
I think. For me, that's what happened. I don't know
it happens. I don't know how it goes for you,
but like I might find myself in a conversation. Yeah,
and everyone's different. Some people react right away, some people
need to digest things. You know, everybody's different, right, Yeah,
I find myself whatever the case, I find myself in
a conversation, someone says something to me and my stomach goes.
Speaker 1 (19:46):
M oh, I don't like that.
Speaker 2 (19:48):
Yeah, and something I'm like, ooh, whatever the way they
said that like that? That didn't feel right for me?
What did that mean? But why would they have said
it like that? Why did it feel like they referenced
back something old that we already said, but it came
back whatever it might be now in that moment, maybe
I don't bring it up. Maybe I'm just like listening
or I felt it, but I didn't wanna make it
(20:08):
a big deal. We're at a thing whatever. But if
I have felt that that that zing, then I make
it a point to come back to that m and
I will say, hey can I can I talk with
you? You know, we were talking the other day and you
you said and it just felt like you were like
coming at me and it didn't feel right, And I
just wanted to ask you, like, what did you mean?
(20:29):
Because maybe I read it wrong. I don't wanna take
it out of context. How what did what made you
say that? And then they can have a place to
speak to me about it, and I give a place
to But I found in the past I would just
hold it, feel it, and then you know, create potential
resentment or whatever. Yeah, over something that I don't even
know if that's exactly what they meant.
Speaker 1 (20:50):
That's so good, I think sometimes I I think I
do that sometimes. But I think sometimes what happens is I,
like you say, I hold I might not do it
right there, but then I'm over it, and so then
I don't say anything, which is not always good either.
Sometimes I just kind of blow past things. And I
think you're right. I think you have to get to it.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
And obviously it depends on who is that, like joh
okay whatever, who cares exactly have to pay attention to
that we can move on. But if it's somebody who
like really plays an important part in your life, yeah,
you know, I think it's that. So that's the type
of practice I started to do. That started to get
me more comfortable with being able to share.
Speaker 1 (21:24):
Yeah, that's good. That's that's a good practice, right, Yeah,
And it's healthy.
Speaker 2 (21:28):
Yeah, And I free the same thing because I kind
of I can let things roll off my back. I'm
not very like I don't hold on this stuff and
hard and stuff. So I think, but then time's coming.
You realize stuff is coming up for you and you're like, ooh,
I'm mad. But I didn't think I was like mad.
I thought it was fine, but it wasn't.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
I'm mad because I left that thing irritated. I'm pestering.
Speaker 2 (21:52):
You know what?
Speaker 1 (21:52):
What's super inspiring to me as we're talking about this
and I'm thinking about the musical last night, I had
heard that it took you like ten years, well Swiss,
but that to me last night Sos was like, she's
been working on this for like fifteen years? Is that true?
Speaker 2 (22:05):
It's exaggerated somewhere between ten and thirteen.
Speaker 1 (22:07):
Okay, well that's good. That's a long time.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
It's a long time.
Speaker 1 (22:11):
That was inspiring to me because sometimes I start a
project or I have an idea and it'll sit or
it'll I don't know, I just can't get it across
the finish line. And then I always wondered did I
miss did I miss the moment on it, or did
I miss the you know, because I heard one time
too Oprah so id always finished what you start. But
then also sometimes I feel like you start something if
it's not working for you. Yeah you had yeah, yeah,
(22:34):
I mean I had to be here, but you believed
in it. You took it all the way. You came
back to it. I'm sure left it came back.
Speaker 2 (22:40):
I think the thing about the this world, this theater world.
You know, my mother left Toledo, Ohio to come to
study at NYU, and she she is that that New
York story, you know, she is that one that came
(23:01):
from somewhere else with a dream to do a thing.
And in a lot of ways, I always felt like
she s had to sacrifice that part of her life
for me.
Speaker 1 (23:10):
Mm.
Speaker 2 (23:10):
You know. So when I am able to kind of
create these creative endeavors and and do them, I think
about the fact that sh it's her dream too.
Speaker 1 (23:21):
Mm.
Speaker 2 (23:21):
You know I I her dream and my dream are intertwined,
you know. And so when I think about particularly in
the theater, because she took me as a kid to tktks,
the super cheap tickets so we could buy tickets or
whatever show and watch it together. Mm. You know what
I mean, I think about this, and now when we've
(23:42):
been able to create Health's Kitchen, you know, this is
in a way the accumulation of this dream that she
had at nineteen. So it really makes me very emotional
and it makes me really like a you know, it
makes this so much worth it. You really see through
Hell's Kitchen that it ultimately as a love storageing a
mother and a daughter. And you know, I.
Speaker 1 (24:05):
Your mother must have been emotional wreck the first time
she saw it.
Speaker 2 (24:08):
I know, I me too too.
Speaker 1 (24:10):
Yeah, what did you learn? Like, what what did you
heal from that?
Speaker 2 (24:13):
I think one of the things that I really have
seen my personal growth, it was it came up yesterday,
is that I, you know, my father and I, although
my mother raised me, you know, my father and I
had a a journey to get through to really find
our way to our own relationship that had to happen
(24:33):
in its own time. And I'm very proud of seeing
the way that we have been able to m meet
each other where we are. And so you do get
a glimpse of in the in Hell's Kitchen, of the
relationship between Ali and her mother and and her mother
and Ali and her father, And for me, you can
(24:54):
see the growth of that relationship personally. Yeah, And I
feel really really I'm proud of that, and I feel
like that's something that's important for people to know that
there is ways to grow through things that may have
been challenging.
Speaker 1 (25:07):
How did you get how did what is the key
to that? To mending a relationship like that? Or is
it mending even or is just you said meeting each.
Speaker 2 (25:14):
Other where we are? Yeah, I think that. I think
that's part of it kind of. I think the first
part for me was like really being able to. We
think relationships are supposed to be a certain way. You
think of a father and daughter relationship, and you think
of a certain relationship. That person's supposed to have raised you,
they're supposed to have lived with you, maybe they married
they they married the parent, the other parent, there was
(25:36):
some type of long standing thing and that This is
how we see it. But every relationship is not the same.
So I think at a certain point we have I
we have in our head the way a s relationship
is supposed to play out, and if it doesn't look
like that in our lives, we somehow feel bad about it.
(25:58):
We feel like that it s something has been something
has gone wrong. Now, there are plenty of things that
maybe could have been better, for sure, m but just
because he didn't raise me doesn't mean that we can't
have our own relationship. I wasn't ready for that at
a certain point, you know what I mean. But and
he was either. But then when you realize, okay, so
(26:20):
maybe he's not daddy, Okay, I c I could, I
could admit, but we could be We can be friends,
like we can get to know each other. We can
actually have a relationship, our own relationship that we define
in our own way. He is my father, It's the truth,
and I would like to have a a good relationship
with him. So I think taking out the expectations of
(26:43):
what it supposed to be and meaning it where it
actually is. If you can. If you can't, then don't
you shouldn't. And I did that too, I said, noy,
know what, I'm not ready to me to hear. I don't.
I'm not able to do that. That happened too. But when
I was, and it was able to be natural and genuine,
and I was able to be open hearted enough, and
(27:03):
so is he. And then we communicate, you know, then
you then you find wow, I do understand that. Oh,
I can see that.
Speaker 1 (27:10):
It's probably so freeing too, right, Wow?
Speaker 2 (27:12):
It l it takes a load off mm takes a
big load off, cause I think a lot of times
we hold all this anger and expectation for things and people.
But who's who's feeling that anger? You? Who's being affected
by that anger? You? Who's who's crumbling under that anger? You?
The other person don't even have a damn clue what
you feel. They go off living their life great as ever,
(27:35):
but you are crushed under this anger and pain that
you're holding on too. So I think when we can
let that go and kind of say again, we don't,
that doesn't mean that we have to. It's valid. These
things come from a place. They deserve to be rectified,
you know. But if you could let it go, then
(27:56):
maybe you can start from a new place. So that's
why I think, because.
Speaker 1 (28:01):
We always hear that you gotta let it go, you
can't hold on to anger. We hear terms like that,
but literally how to do that is where people get
tripped up. Tripped up, yes, because it's emotional. I don't
know how to do that. But I love what you
said about just meeting people where they are like, Okay,
this is our story, so here we are.
Speaker 2 (28:16):
It's you know, right.
Speaker 1 (28:19):
I think that's a good tool and just a good
kind of understanding of getting there. It's so good for you.
By the way, the actors are unbelievable. Yes, now that
you've done this like you have done it, You've done it. Bag.
You are a household name, my friend, you really are.
You never think of like you're a household name. There's
nobody that I could say at Lasia Keys is on
my podcast and they go, who is she? Nobody that
(28:40):
does that like you've done. It's wow, it's crazy. And
you're still regular to me. I don't know, maybe just
because we have a relationship, but I don't you.
Speaker 2 (28:50):
Don't seem to you know me.
Speaker 1 (28:53):
I know you seem to manage that level of fame
at least from the outside really well, like you seem
to have a good core group. I guess family probably
helps with that, right.
Speaker 2 (29:05):
Yeah, I do. I think family, you know. I think
it's also like where I came from that also instilled
that in me. And by you know, not to mention
the fact that if you know my mother, you know she.
Speaker 1 (29:18):
Will has she ever done that? Has she ever said
to you like you are feeling yourself?
Speaker 2 (29:24):
She will like you need you know, just good feel
just keep you humble, like how to keep you.
Speaker 1 (29:30):
Humble, And she's right, you want to be humble, you do?
Speaker 2 (29:33):
You do have to kind of like keep things into perspective.
Speaker 1 (29:36):
And do you ever be in your bag?
Speaker 2 (29:37):
Sometimes that doesn't mean that I can't be on my ship.
I can still be on my ship.
Speaker 1 (29:46):
And what what lifts you up? What do you most
feel like you're in your bag? What is the circumstances
that would you know?
Speaker 2 (29:54):
I feel like what I'm recognizing is I can I
can really be in my bag when I have a
really strong team. M I feel like I feel the
most in my bag, Like you know, just recently this summer,
I did the Keys to the Summer tour and I
felt like I reunited with one of my favorite directors
(30:15):
named Diane Martel. She did the thing got You video,
she did the like You'll never see me again video,
and we connected, you know, to to create the stage
show for Keys to the Summer and I just felt
like she's so understood a side of me, and she
has such a strength in herself that it allowed me
(30:35):
to be in my bag because the team that I
was assembling just felt like strong. That's the same way
I feel with Hell's Kitchen. I feel that same way.
It's a strong team. Everyone holds their weight, and so
I can be in my bag. We can all be
in our bag because there's like equal sharing of the responsibility.
That's what I can That's when I feel the most
(30:56):
in my bag. Sometimes when you have to carry all
the weight and do all the on that you're like
you can't quite get in your bag because you got
to do.
Speaker 1 (31:03):
Or speaking to my soul right now. Just clear, she's
not speaking to our soul. We've been trying to. Sometimes
I just have all these ideas and things I want
to do and I don't have the resources, so I
pile it on myself or you know, I have like
a small team, very small team, and so sometimes you
over extend yourself and there's no way to deliver or
(31:24):
to be, like you say, in your bag when you're
like spread them like that is hard at all.
Speaker 2 (31:28):
Yeah, I know, and I've been there many times. I mean,
my team will understand too, where we're pretty small as well. Yeah,
there was came a time where we were like, Okay,
we have to say no. We have to say more no.
Speaker 1 (31:39):
Talk to me about no. Okay, when do you say no?
Speaker 2 (31:42):
You know, well, first of all, I've realized because you're ambitious,
you know.
Speaker 1 (31:46):
To balance. I try to balance though I am ambitious.
Speaker 2 (31:48):
And that's a blessing because you have ideas, you have things,
You're motivated, you're inspired, you have on so many levels,
which is such a blessing. But then you have to realize,
if I can't execute this in the manner that I
would expect of myself, you know, then I have to
say no. And if I'm putting too much on my team,
(32:09):
because now we're we've already said yes to far too
many things, you know, we have to say no. So
we have started a practice where we were like, okay,
this is this has to be a no because it
just it's gonna takes it.
Speaker 1 (32:22):
Ever break your heart. Have you ever made a mistake?
And no, have you ever ever something you're like, ah,
I should have did it?
Speaker 2 (32:29):
No, But I felt many times when I was like, oh,
I shouldn't have did it.
Speaker 1 (32:33):
More more regret.
Speaker 2 (32:34):
When you do regret, I'm like I knew, I sh
I knew this wasn't it and my spirit said don't
do it. And now here I am doing it and
I'm mad. I'm not feel I'm not in my joy
like I feel frustrated, you know, so I do feel
like the nose are y. As part of the relationship
of practicing to speak my truth, I have learned to
(32:58):
also trust my gut. And I know what yes feels like.
I know what yes feels like mm. I'm very clear
about what yes feels like. And I know how it
feels when it's a maybe mm. And I know what
it feels like when it's like it's not really a no,
but I think that it's gonna make a few people happy,
so I make it turn into a yes because I
think that it's gonna be nice for those people. But
(33:20):
it's not a yes, it's no. It wasn't a yes,
it was a maybe. And so if it's not a yes,
then it's a no.
Speaker 1 (33:30):
I don't know, w I I whatever you just said,
I'm gonna put in a little clipper and put it
for remind myself like this when I'm saying yes to
too many things and gonna that's gonna be like remind
my reminder. I can't repeat it exactly what you said,
but I know it was important. I know I need
to hear that again. I know I need to rewind
that and press play on that mm, but the nose
and the maybes and the yes.
Speaker 2 (33:50):
It's right. So but I feel you, man, Let's talk
about it's a holiday season.
Speaker 1 (33:55):
People are dealing with all types of family holiday season
vibes and they're home. Some people get very excited and
very holiday ish. Yes, some people stresses them out. I
just wonder what your family dying because you from the gram,
I mean I know you personally, but like from the gram,
your family looks like they have the greatest time ever
at every occasion.
Speaker 2 (34:15):
What else? Right, It's just just tricky, right, it's the
highlight tricky thing about you know, any social media?
Speaker 1 (34:21):
What is the family dynamic of the Alicia Keys holiday season?
And well, first of allah, break it down, list let.
Speaker 2 (34:28):
Me family situation. What you need to do is get
this diary Alicia Keys twenty vinyl. Oh yes, per playing
in the back at your function. It will fix whatever's wrong,
whatever's going on, whatever stress you might be feeling, whatever
like uncertainty. It's just going wide it away. You're gonna
be good. And if you don't know what to get
(34:50):
somebody as a gift, oh look at that, so look
at that. Just saying that the house that's at our house.
It's awesome. I think it's I think it's really cool.
We we have a really big family, m as.
Speaker 1 (35:04):
You know, I know you have a blended family.
Speaker 2 (35:07):
You have a big, blended, awesome family. Yeah, and I
and I gotta say all of us. It's kind of
like a all of us kind of pass through. We
have different moments that we're together. I love we do
this pre I'm big into rituals.
Speaker 1 (35:23):
Tell me about your rituals. Give us one or two.
Speaker 2 (35:25):
We do this pre Christmas ritual, mkay. And it happens
the it happens on Christmas Eve, and we make each
other handmade gifts. Now everybody wants to kill me cause
they're like, honestly, we gotta do this again this year.
And I say, yes, we have to do it because
it's special. And every time we do it, it does
(35:47):
bring up something unique, and we gather together and we
all have to kind of present what we made. And
you know, you pull the name and sometimes you know
that person really well. Sometimes you don't, h and that's
kind of cool cause you're like, Okay, well what would
this person like and how could I get to know
them a little bit better? And what can I damn
make with my own hands that will not be stupid.
Speaker 1 (36:11):
And then the person might enjoy. Give me an example,
what is something you made, like when did you kill it?
Speaker 2 (36:15):
Alright, I'll tell you when I kill ki.
Speaker 1 (36:17):
Okay, good telling.
Speaker 2 (36:18):
But maybe it's something as simple as like you have
a beautiful printed picture and you put it into a
frame that you kind of decorated with something. Yeah, right,
So maybe it's something like that.
Speaker 1 (36:29):
Kay.
Speaker 2 (36:30):
The time that I killed it, it was for Genesis.
I got Genesis MM and I decided to make this
kind of sculpture of this this anime that they love,
and I created the tree so that he could have
his like characters and he could play in the in
the this this main tree. I think it was either
(36:51):
one piece or Hunter ex Hunter or one of them.
So I made the tree and it was ill. I
made the whole base of it, and I had to
paint it, and there's like a whole uh see around it.
So we did this whole technique with kind of like
the stones and the thing and the sea.
Speaker 1 (37:06):
You're making at cards with your hands, you know, you
make it like a hole.
Speaker 2 (37:08):
It was a treat in the sea that was the
that was the animate that he could play his his
little toys in and I was like, oh I I
one body killed this. Of course I ain't never see
him pay with it, no want like not like all
eyes in the corner.
Speaker 1 (37:24):
It doesn't take away from the fact that.
Speaker 2 (37:25):
You killed it. I did kill it.
Speaker 1 (37:27):
Killed it. That's what is the greatest lesson you've learned
in marriage about yourself? Mm? What does marriage taught you
about yourself?
Speaker 2 (37:38):
Wow?
Speaker 1 (37:38):
Okay, okay, cause really it's that's what they say it is.
Speaker 2 (37:43):
It's a mirror.
Speaker 1 (37:44):
It's a mirror, right, It's like nothing makes you work
on yourself more than living a life with somebody else.
Speaker 2 (37:51):
Right now, It's so good. This question is really good.
Thank you. I definitely know that I am. I'm an
organizer and I enjoy that. I really like to create
the space for the time that we need. And I
(38:11):
learned that I'm really good at that and I have
to constantly not let that go.
Speaker 1 (38:18):
Mm.
Speaker 2 (38:19):
Like that's a really important thing that I'm good at,
and that I think it really flourished it. It helps
us to flourish. M you know, because it's easy to
be so busy, it's easy to be distracted, it's easy
to be working hard, so to me is like, that's
just the Aromonts and that's and that's it's something I'm
(38:40):
good at. Yeah, we're good at it, but I'm really
good at Like, w is there.
Speaker 1 (38:44):
Anything you had to fix about yourself? Cause I feel
like that is a thing. Like for me, one of
the things in my relationship I learned about myself is
that I would internalize you know, I'm a empathetic person,
right like I my friends, I wanna you know, I
wanna help them if I can, and I would carry
it m and then bring it home. And I never
knew that about myself until somebody had he had to
point it out to me. You know, somebody close to
(39:05):
you teaches you something about yourself or just and so
I realized that and it's actually been really helpful in
my life to be able to be there, still be
there and be empathetic but let it kind of almost
things go through me as opposed to like holding everybody's.
Speaker 2 (39:19):
Energy issues things. Yes.
Speaker 1 (39:22):
Yeah, so that's like for me, that was one thing.
I just wonder if you have any of those experience
where he put like a mirror to you, like, hey,
maybe you want to work on this.
Speaker 2 (39:29):
I think I have to continue to work on. And
I've seen that I have to work on being just
better at being a little more still like I'm a
do or I'm a getter, or I'm a thinger, I'm
a fixer, I'm an organizer, a thing I'm gonna go,
or I'm love And I think that I have to
get I've seen that I have to get better at
being like it's okay that you're just like but he's
(39:50):
the same way. He's definitely the same.
Speaker 1 (39:52):
I can't tell you that you're not.
Speaker 2 (39:54):
He's the same.
Speaker 1 (39:55):
He's more I think more than you.
Speaker 2 (39:57):
Or But I think he's good at like when he's home,
he's good at kind of like being able to be easy.
He can like sleep in the bed, He'll rest until
ten eleven twelve. Me, I'm like six am.
Speaker 1 (40:10):
I rest bum bong bong.
Speaker 2 (40:12):
He's like, we gonna need a little like give me.
Speaker 1 (40:16):
Up till a twelve PM. I need it like at
least till twelve.
Speaker 2 (40:20):
And I need it too, m you know what I mean.
So I think that being able to just kind of
like still like be still, not not actually activate and
execute all the things, just kind of like be still
in the space together it's really nice. And that's something
that I I always have to be like, wait, stop
(40:41):
trying to do all the things I'm trying to plan,
all the things I'm trying to do.
Speaker 1 (40:43):
With cam your red down. How happy are you on
a scale of one to ten today?
Speaker 2 (40:48):
Today? I'm definitely I I'm not a fucking.
Speaker 1 (40:52):
Ten, really, I am? That is that? Is that all
the time for you?
Speaker 2 (40:56):
Most all the time?
Speaker 1 (40:57):
No, that's not all the no, I know, but it's
had a common thing. Some people say they have never
got to a tech. Some people like, uh, keep a
tend reserved. I was gonna go eight nine, Okay, I was.
Speaker 2 (41:08):
That was my first thing, honest, first reason gotta be
honest was like eight nine and I and I felt
like when I checked in with myself, I felt that
I was not honoring my joy and I I think
that it is very important that when we're feeling joyful, mm,
that we can say we're feeling joyful. I think it's
(41:30):
so easy to say this is not good and I'm
not happy and this is not going well, and that
happens too. And there's plenty of that too that I
could pull out and be like, well, this isn't that good.
But I'm feeling joyful. I'm feeling grateful. I was thinking
about this, celebrating this milestone with diary. I was thinking
about launching something that I've been working on so long,
(41:50):
with Hell's Kitchen. I was thinking about the love I
have for my family and my husband, my son being
there with me, my hubby being here with me, and
I feel healthy. I'm sitting with my friends. He's actually here.
He might be happy right now, but he was. I'm
sitting here with my friends. We're talking, We're we're together,
We're well, our minds are intact, our spirits are good.
Speaker 1 (42:12):
In real life? What do you pray for most me?
Speaker 2 (42:15):
I prayed for clarity.
Speaker 1 (42:17):
That's mine. I hate being confused. I hate not knowing
and not I It's like, if I know, I can
figure out a plan of action, or I could I
know how to show up. If I don't have clarity,
I feel it's crazy.
Speaker 2 (42:32):
You know, it's crazy. It's crazy.
Speaker 1 (42:34):
That's a great prayer.
Speaker 2 (42:35):
Yeah, clarity, clarity and and peace. Safety. It's good.
Speaker 1 (42:42):
Mm moost are good in real life. What are you
most proud of about yourself?
Speaker 2 (42:47):
In real life? I am most proud that I am
a normal human me, I don't know, most proud and
I'm like, you know, I feel like people can meet me,
seeing me, talk to me, bill with me. They're gonna
know that I am their sister. I am just I
am that same energy. I have not shifted that energy.
(43:08):
That energy will always be there. I am very proud
of that. I think that's easy to lose.
Speaker 1 (43:14):
Yes, you are a household name. You know.
Speaker 2 (43:17):
You reminded me you could easily be your there's some
big headed, annoying human and I'm not with it. I'm
just not even with it at all.
Speaker 1 (43:28):
That would not be good for anyone.
Speaker 2 (43:30):
No, and real life.
Speaker 1 (43:31):
How important is money to you?
Speaker 2 (43:33):
Mm? Obviously you know money does help a lot of things.
But for me, that's not where wealth is. To me,
that's not wealth, that's not that's not rich to me.
Like your your sanity is where your wealth is. Your health, man,
there's nothing more important than you being able to be healthy.
You know, that is your wealth to be able to
(43:56):
you know, wake up and have all your wits about
you and love, like real love, genuine that thing that's real,
not based on something that you have or gonna get
for something that who you just are on a Wednesday
in your pajamas with nothing, you know, those are those
are the thing that's that's like, that's the wealth, that's
(44:18):
that's being rich. So I really I'm very clear about
that in real life.
Speaker 1 (44:22):
What are your triggers or your pet peeves? Like, what
is something that would take you that number ten?
Speaker 2 (44:28):
I mean some of my pet peeves hm on one
of mine I don't like.
Speaker 1 (44:39):
I don't like people trying to manipulate me. Yeah, way, oh,
somebody tell me half the story, cause they trying to
make me do I I could cause I see you
from up the block. Yeah, you could have just asked
me for what you needed me to do. Cause nine
times out of ten, if I can, I would. But
when you try to, I don't know why. That's just triggered.
I probably you would figure that out. But it's for
(45:01):
sure trigger for me will literally make me not like someone.
It's not okay.
Speaker 2 (45:04):
Yeah, I can go.
Speaker 1 (45:05):
From like, oh they seem like a nice person to
I don't like that.
Speaker 2 (45:09):
That's a good one.
Speaker 1 (45:09):
That's a real one for me.
Speaker 2 (45:11):
That's a right one.
Speaker 1 (45:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (45:12):
Man, what's one of my triggers? So it's probably knows
I feel like I feel like one of My triggers
are like I need you to do what you said
you're gonna do. Mmm, Like I do what I say
I'm gonna do. So when people can't meet me where
I meet them, that triggers me. And like you said
you were gonna do that, you should do what you
(45:32):
say you're gonna do. You know that's a big one
for me. Or don't say it. Just don't say something
that you can't do. If you can't do it, don't
don't don't say you can do it.
Speaker 1 (45:40):
I just thought of Little Alley in the play and
her dad saying she's coming to the thing. That's probably
what that's rue.
Speaker 2 (45:45):
I think it might come a little bit from there
a little bit.
Speaker 1 (45:51):
And then in real life, what do you I don't know.
What do you hope people take from your story and
what you put out in the world, like mm or
even this conversation today, like when you make things eks
wh where where do you hope they land?
Speaker 2 (46:03):
Yeah? Man, I hope that they land in people's hearts.
I feel like I just want people to feel the genuineness,
the the care, and the pure energy that goes into it,
because I think that we're receiving a lot of messages
that are filled with like not pure intention. Mm you
(46:24):
know what I mean. And so I would love for
people to just take away that there is that genuineness,
there is that authentic energy that we can be. We
can be who we actually are. We don't have to
put on a bunch of acts and phony and fake
it down and up. We can just be You are special,
just how you are. And so I would love that
(46:46):
my comfort in who I am uh reminds somebody that
they are are incredible exactly how they are, and we
can respect and love each other and like applaud and
uplift each other, cause I think that would change a lot.
I love that, and I love this and with you
me too, this platform. Thank you for this natural conversation,
(47:08):
and thank you for just being such a supporter of
me and the art and so adore you. I appreciate you.
Speaker 1 (47:16):
Thank you, Alicia Keys, everybody, Hey, how so dame here
on my show wh
Edge Martinez in Real Life podcast. I mean it's a
leader kid.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
What is this space?
Speaker 1 (00:12):
Welcome to my space today, Welcome to the podcast. Thank you,
thank you my Little I r L Podcast. I love it.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
I love talking to you. I love your energy everything,
your energy, that's the that's something that's so special. So yes,
I do love it and congratulate.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
Thank you, baby, congratulations to you. First of all, we're
gonna start with you. I am excited about my podcast.
But first and foremost, last night, m I wish there
was somebody in the room who could just testify to
what I saw last night, Which is your new Well?
What are you the executive producer play? What is it?
Speaker 2 (00:47):
What is the First of all, it's a musical.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
That's a musical.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
I would be the lead producer for the musical that
also be the composer, and I'd also be the conceptualizer
of this and subject correct it is it is? It
is loosely based on my experiences growing up in New York.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
The whole thing is so good. I can't I want
to talk about it more and more like specific, but
it took me immediately to little Baby, Young Alicia. A
diary is on twenty years on twenty year anniversary. My
son is twenty. This is nuts. So it's like, Diary
is in college right now, Diary is going to college.
(01:26):
Oh it's been in college thirty year in college. Diary
is graduating college next year. Whoa I know? Are you
like a whole different person from them?
Speaker 2 (01:37):
Definitely, I'm a new person, of course. Of course I've
grown so much. I know so much. I was for
sure a baby. I was so I was definitely entering
my beginnings of my womanhood. But I was still so insecure,
so vulnerable were you?
Speaker 1 (01:54):
You never gave that.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
You always showed up like that was my trick. Yeah
that was wasn't it yours?
Speaker 1 (02:02):
It still is what I mean, I still show up
when I mean, I am more centered and I do
have more sense of purpose. So that gives you confidence,
and that gives you you know, and so I can
block out noise better. But I still have moments of like,
you know, totally thousand, you got to still show We
know how to show up, but we need to show up.
(02:23):
We still have moments. Yes, you all the way got
it together.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
No, nobody all the way has it together. And every
day is different, you know what I mean? But I
definitely have it together more than I had it together. Yes,
so thank god, please we need to grow somehow.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
What do you think the biggest difference is, though?
Speaker 2 (02:39):
What do you think the biggest difference is that at
that time, I really felt like I had to be
validated by people. I felt like I had to be accepted,
you know, people had to agree with me or I
had to people had to accept what I thought for
it to be good. And now I don't, you know, you.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
Look for opinions from everybody.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
Oh my god, yeah, I was the union seekert.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
What do you think?
Speaker 2 (03:02):
Do you like it? Do you like it? Do you
like it? Do you like it? Do you like it?
Do you like it? And if they didn't, if enough
people liked it, I liked it. If enough people didn't
like it, I also didn't like it, you know. And
it's like at some point you got to like, think
what you think and feel how you feel, and you
got to stand behind it and stand for it. And
you know, so that's well, that's what I think is
the biggest difference for me now.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
Was there's ever some amazing song that everybody didn't like
and you knew it was great and you never put
it out and left us in the it's still sitting
in a vault somewhere.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
I would no, I don't know. I mean maybe, but
people did feel that way about falling, believe it or not.
What do you mean people didn't understand falling at first?
These people which people I'm just saying, where I'm telling.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
These people, these people, where are they? Can we call
them now? Put them on the screen and see, didn't
you like label people are like friends or what?
Speaker 2 (03:57):
I think that. I think probably I would if I
would bring it back to it, I would definitely say
it was more on the label side or on the
business side. You know, it was a it was a
risk if you think, if you think about it, falling
was actually a risk. It didn't fit into the style
of music that was happening at the time, and it
was it was different. I mean most of my music
is always different. With Diary Realisia Keys, it was you
don't know my name. That was a risk. You don't
(04:18):
know my name wasn't like the sound at the time.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
It was was the sound at the time. I don't
remember the like a I don't know, I don't even.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
Know what was that. But the point is is you know,
I think that a lot of times, you know, people
like to do and encourage you to do what's already
been done. M It's like rare that people will tell you, hey,
take a take a chance, try something new, try something different.
(04:47):
It's very rare that people get behind that mentality. But
but I'm glad that I was never you know, I
always went with what felt good in my heart, and
that's always been my guiding.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
Like, yeah, thank god. Some opinions are everywhere.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
Wow, especially now I'm more than ever. I don't even
know how kids function today.
Speaker 1 (05:05):
I wondered that for you, cause you still are very
active and you very like even in socials and stuff,
you engage. You share, right, share a lot. Yes, your
family is Swiss. Swiss is always sharing something.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
The sharer of all sharers.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
I feel like he probably pushes you to share more
than you would have had you, guys not been a couple.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
I think he's he's actually really good at it, you know.
I think that the way that he does it and
the way that he shares is so genuine, and he
shares like what feels right, and it really does feel right,
and it feels unique and it feels like special. Yeah,
so he's really good at it. Yeah. I hit him
a lot, like, d what do you think about this?
He'd like, nah, not that. I was like, Okay, he
was there last night at the Hell's Kitchen.
Speaker 1 (05:45):
He was so proud of you, and Genesis was there.
He loves the git, just the musical.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
This was the first time Genesis saw the show, and
you know, he's so upset that I have to go,
and you know it's in New York and to make
to travel and to always be there to make sure
it's perfect. And so one day he was like, you
don't even want to spend time with your kids. All
(06:10):
you want to do is go to your stupid play.
And I was like, hey, that's not nice, man. I
don't call any of your things stupid. And so he
was like, well, that's all you want to do, And
I said, I know that you just miss me. I
know that's what that means. You want me to stay
and I want to stay too, you know what I mean.
But I'm really proud of what I'm working on and
(06:32):
you'll see, you'll see how much you're gonna like it.
So when he came yesterday, it was the first time
that he saw it after feeling, you know that the
normal feelings that a kid feels when you have to
let your parents go. You know, it's hard. And when
he was there and just rivet in and just looking
at every question, mam, when's the mother coming back? Ma,
(06:52):
when's the He had thousands of questions. Swiss was like,
if he don't be quiet, came to him to be
quiet because he's loud.
Speaker 1 (06:59):
He's so in to you though, like I saw a
little video of him protecting you at the concert, your security.
And then there was another one. Well, he didn't want
you to show too much boob, and that's pretty good
that Your favorite was, I do this? Mom?
Speaker 2 (07:16):
What's what's wrong? The heart? It's cool? So everybody can
see your boots? Can't your heart? I've never seen somebody
do that. Well, you're only eight. The worst is gonna
be a tiss.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
Okay, how about we do this? How well we do this?
Speaker 2 (07:33):
You do the time? It's boos everyone has.
Speaker 1 (07:36):
Pretty so much because I'm pasty and You're like, it's
just a boob.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
I was like, it's okay. He's like, ma, are we.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
Really gonna do this?
Speaker 2 (07:45):
Mom? Are we doing this?
Speaker 1 (07:47):
What is that? Who is that? That's what who is history.
Speaker 2 (07:51):
He's not protecting. Dad always says you protect the mom, right.
He takes it serious clearly.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
So cute.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
It's such a cute kid.
Speaker 1 (08:02):
It sounds like you're like a great mom. So how
is that like we should talk about the parenting? Part
of that is that I know we've talked since you've
been a mom, but now you're like a seasoned mom.
Speaker 2 (08:13):
I feel like, you know, you have two ever a
you know, I think are you ever a seasoned mom?
You definitely have more experience, for sure, But I feel
like it's constantly a conundrum, don't you. It's like constantly
something that you're bumping up against, something you haven't quite
been with before. And even if I've been through it
(08:34):
with Egypt, I haven't like Genesis way of expressing. It's
so different. And even all the kids, like I've always
felt blessed because together we have five kids, and so
I have like older kids that I've experienced what it's
gonna be like, Okay, this is how sixteen's gonna be
or this is what thirteen is gonna be like Now
(08:55):
Egypt's thirteen, and it's a little different. So I don't
know if you're ever a seasoned, but I do feel
a lot more. I just feel a lot more like
aware of how I want to talk with them and
express with them and things like that.
Speaker 1 (09:07):
No, and then also, they're not the same person who
they are two years from now. So you think you
got them down, you know how to manage them, and
then they become somebody else in a couple of years
and you have to kind of.
Speaker 2 (09:21):
Read learn and then so are you like I'm also
another person.
Speaker 1 (09:28):
Because mothers are actually pain so human. We are also
people evolving. This is absolutely true.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
So to kind of put that all together is it's amazing.
And I mean sometimes there's so much going on and
I need bed at a certain time and I need
to make sure the homework is at this time, and
then we're there. They're sitting there doing something and they're
cracking up laughing, and I'm like, I need you, And
I look back on it and I'm like, why didn't
I just laugh too? Could I just have laughed too?
(09:58):
And then we'd have just got on with it like
I made it. They almost took take longer to just
so it's like, y, yeah, I think you kind of
look at yourself too, and you realize how you can
kind of let certain things go or whatever you need
to do.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
Do you let your kids see you vulnerable? Like I
had this who was it?
Speaker 2 (10:13):
Uh? Oh?
Speaker 1 (10:14):
We had Kelly uh Clarkson on the show and she
went through a divorce and she was talking about, you know,
she went through a really hard time and she let
her kids, she let sh not too much, but just
enough so that she would explain, mommy sad. And yeah,
she operates on the some some parents don't. Some parents
believe in like shielding shielding. Yeah, and there's like a
fine line, I guess, but are you, like, how are
(10:36):
you with these seems like you would be leaning towards vulnerable.
Speaker 2 (10:39):
Feel like it's really important to be able to learn
how to have relationships with your emotions, you know. And
I think especially as boys, we a lot of times
we make boys have to be so like teflon and
and we think that that's what how a man expresses
or how a boy expresses. And I do think that
(10:59):
for all of us, cause I think as women as well,
we also feel like we have to be tough. Alon,
we gotta put on the armor and no, let's not
get penetrated. And I think that that develops a unhealthy
relationship with our emotions. We can't access them. And I
personally went through that. I experience that way. I just
could not access my emotions. I did not know how
to share what I actually felt truly. I knew how
(11:20):
to share the like version of it, that was the words,
you know, but I couldn't properly truly express it in
a way that felt as raw as I felt it
on the inside. And I thought that that I had
to learn how to practice to put to words my
real feelings as opposed to holding the men. And so
I really feel like getting having a relationship with your
(11:42):
emotions is important. Yeah, I'm not overly emotional, so you know,
I think that's just natural balance that I have. Yeah,
but the other day I did I boohooed in the
Carbon Genesis. He looked at me like you had to
see his face. He was like, I'm sorry that I
didn't do another and I should have been more. And
I really apologized for and he instantly. And I was
(12:05):
not doing that for him to feel bad or to
have to apologize to me, But it just was how
I felt, and it just was like I was overwhelmed
at the moment he was like, I never saw you
cry like that before, man, And next ten days after
my remer, when you just started crying, like I never
saw you cry like that before. It and it and
(12:25):
it touched him, and I think that, you know, that's
a part of that's a part of just irl my
real life and it happens.
Speaker 1 (12:33):
What could trigger something like that, is that a bad day?
Is that some is that I.
Speaker 2 (12:36):
Was personally overwhelmed. Actually for him, I felt like there
was a lot of things going on that I was
just needing to come to terms with, like with school
and some different things, and I just felt like I
was uncomfortable with where it was circling and I felt
out of control. I felt like I was not able
to have a handle on it to the way that
I wanted to. And to see him feel uncomfortable about
(12:59):
certain things made me uncomfortable. And when I couldn't kind
of get it under control, it just like I was like,
I don't have control of this. Yeah, And it just
kind of like felt, you know, overwhelming in that way,
and I just I don't know, it just came out,
oh you know what I mean, It just came out.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
And he just adores you too. So he was probably like,
what it's happening.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
He was like, whoa hoo, whoa whoa, whoa whoa whoa.
But and then man, it's crazy how the emotions that
we feel for them. Wow, like you never know, it's
super wild.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
I was just talking about that, and I was telling
you this before. You're not ready for when they have
to go.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
Mmm, I'm not ready.
Speaker 1 (13:37):
Have you prepared at all?
Speaker 2 (13:38):
I'm not ready. It's okay, Sorry, I'm not ready. Tell
me how it goes.
Speaker 1 (13:43):
I'm to tell you how it goes.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
Yeah, how does it go?
Speaker 1 (13:45):
I was fully depressed for six months before he left
for college because I was preparing mentally, preparing myself to
be like I just was so sad, you know, it
was just him and I for a while. Then I
my bonus baby came in and we have I have
two there, but the idea of like my first born,
my baby, like leaving was traumatic for me. So for
six months I was super depressed before he left. And
(14:06):
then I was telling my girlfriend. I think it was
you know, Shaka pill Girl. I was telling Shaka I
was like, oh god, he's I got to take him
to school. I'm going to be a mess. I'm gonna
cry when I drop him off. She was like, no,
you're not. I was like, what do you mean, No,
I'm not, Yes, i am. I'm very emotional about this.
She was like, imagine how for him, like going into
a new space, new school, all this about how challenging
that is for him. Why do you want to make
(14:28):
that more dramatic? And I was like, oh, you're right.
He was not a good friend. And so then I
just kind of held myself together. I went there, we
set him up, we set the room, and I left
and I realized though, so after that, I realized, they
don't leave you. They're still there.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
All the time.
Speaker 1 (14:45):
Yeah, like he's still.
Speaker 2 (14:47):
Asking you for a thousand things all the time.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
It's cool, it's fine, No, they don't. There's still your children.
But so maybe you won't be sad for six months,
maybe yours will be three months now, two months, knowing
that it'll be okay. On the other side, I.
Speaker 2 (15:01):
Do know it'll be okay. But it's a big change. Man.
It's like you literally hold them. They can't do anything
without you. You have to. You plan your entire existence,
every move you make around them being good. And then
they don't need you, and it's kind of kind of crazy,
it's kind of fucked, it's kind of crazy. But they
(15:21):
do need you know.
Speaker 1 (15:23):
They always do know, they always do it, and I.
Speaker 2 (15:25):
Think whatever, they need to call you and make sure
you know and just like, yeah, the mama, there's only
one mama.
Speaker 1 (15:31):
People don't talking up about too, Like the partner you
choose and how you parent together. Did you have any
challenges with that or are you just kind of in
line with that or how do you guys manage that?
Speaker 2 (15:43):
I feel like we do really well. We're really we're
really in a beautiful sink just naturally, like our flow
has a good sink. And I think that on the
parenting side, he's really good at you know, he definitely
knows when it's time to step in because he's like, mm,
you know what, they need some dad energy. Sometimes you
(16:04):
need dad energy. Yes, But he's really good at, like
at being we are really good at being kind of
a a good flow, like what's gonna work best for
this particular inner, this child, cause each one's so different,
so you can't just like do the same thing all
the time for sure. So I think we're good at
kind of that flow. And I think he's he knows
that I have great instincts there too, and so he's like, well,
(16:25):
what do you what do you think? And if I
say listen, I re I know your your normal instinct
would be this, the less approach like this, yeah, and
he'll be open for it.
Speaker 1 (16:35):
Do you ever bump pets? Do you ever disagree I'm parenting?
And how do you manage that?
Speaker 2 (16:39):
Everybody does?
Speaker 1 (16:39):
So you can't tell me you don't we we?
Speaker 2 (16:41):
I was trying to think of, like, how ah ah
a time? Yeah, I think we definitely. I think it's
more about communicating about our own needs, cause I think
sometimes you spend so much time making sure the kids
needs are met that you do have to make sure
that the relationship between the kids and the parents don't
(17:03):
eliminate the parents' needs, you know what I mean? And
so I think in those ways are the ways that
we're communicative. And it's like, I'm noticing this pattern and
it's starting to feel uncomfortable. Mm, what should we what
should we do?
Speaker 1 (17:19):
How did you learn to do that? You grew up
in it w with just your mom? Yeah, so who
taught you that?
Speaker 2 (17:25):
Right? What did your therapy? I honestly haven't really. Uh
I did like a life coach thing that was helpful, helpful.
Speaker 1 (17:33):
Okay, what's the biggest yes, whatever, It's.
Speaker 2 (17:38):
Like I might be a life I feel like I
could be a life function in some way. But but yeah, no,
I think that I think that. Uh, I don't know.
I think maybe just just recognizing how when you can
express Again, I think it comes back to me not
having a great connection with my own emotions. And so
(18:00):
when I started to realize how toxic that could be.
Speaker 1 (18:03):
What does that mean?
Speaker 2 (18:04):
Though?
Speaker 1 (18:04):
Exactly? Like what is it?
Speaker 2 (18:05):
So what I was saying was thank you. Remember I
was talking before, and I was saying like I was
such a pleaser that I was disconnected to how I
actually felt. And so I would be so like, well,
what do they like? What do they think? Is this
good for you know, whatever choice I'm making in my career.
Oh they approve of that.
Speaker 1 (18:24):
Oh they like.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
The thing I did, the thing I wore, the thing
I said, or whatever. And I would be so outwardly
that I noticed that that became toxic because I didn't
have a relationship with myself to be able to say, no,
here's what I feel, here's what I actually feel. Just
this is what I feel. I don't know. You might
hate what I feel, but I feel this and to
(18:46):
actually be able to verbalize and say that wasn't so
easy for me. So I started to practice that more.
And because of that practice, that's what starts to make
I think Swiss and I even more able to communicate
better because I was able to say, no, this is
how I feel, and I know it's important. If I
don't tell you how I feel, and if you don't
tell me how you feel, that's when it doesn't It
just goes wrong. So that part, I think God has
(19:08):
to be able to communicate.
Speaker 1 (19:09):
That's dope because a lot of people do that. I
think that's a pretty common thing to do, is like
bury how you feel and have confidence in it and
also feeling like you trust somebody to give them all
of that. But what is the practice of that? How
do you snap out of that?
Speaker 2 (19:23):
For me? I think the practice because this is what
I think. For me, that's what happened. I don't know
it happens. I don't know how it goes for you,
but like I might find myself in a conversation. Yeah,
and everyone's different. Some people react right away, some people
need to digest things. You know, everybody's different, right, Yeah,
I find myself whatever the case, I find myself in
a conversation, someone says something to me and my stomach goes.
Speaker 1 (19:46):
M oh, I don't like that.
Speaker 2 (19:48):
Yeah, and something I'm like, ooh, whatever the way they
said that like that? That didn't feel right for me?
What did that mean? But why would they have said
it like that? Why did it feel like they referenced
back something old that we already said, but it came
back whatever it might be now in that moment, maybe
I don't bring it up. Maybe I'm just like listening
or I felt it, but I didn't wanna make it
(20:08):
a big deal. We're at a thing whatever. But if
I have felt that that that zing, then I make
it a point to come back to that m and
I will say, hey can I can I talk with
you? You know, we were talking the other day and you
you said and it just felt like you were like
coming at me and it didn't feel right, And I
just wanted to ask you, like, what did you mean?
(20:29):
Because maybe I read it wrong. I don't wanna take
it out of context. How what did what made you
say that? And then they can have a place to
speak to me about it, and I give a place
to But I found in the past I would just
hold it, feel it, and then you know, create potential
resentment or whatever. Yeah, over something that I don't even
know if that's exactly what they meant.
Speaker 1 (20:50):
That's so good, I think sometimes I I think I
do that sometimes. But I think sometimes what happens is I,
like you say, I hold I might not do it
right there, but then I'm over it, and so then
I don't say anything, which is not always good either.
Sometimes I just kind of blow past things. And I
think you're right. I think you have to get to it.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
And obviously it depends on who is that, like joh
okay whatever, who cares exactly have to pay attention to
that we can move on. But if it's somebody who
like really plays an important part in your life, yeah,
you know, I think it's that. So that's the type
of practice I started to do. That started to get
me more comfortable with being able to share.
Speaker 1 (21:24):
Yeah, that's good. That's that's a good practice, right, Yeah,
And it's healthy.
Speaker 2 (21:28):
Yeah, And I free the same thing because I kind
of I can let things roll off my back. I'm
not very like I don't hold on this stuff and
hard and stuff. So I think, but then time's coming.
You realize stuff is coming up for you and you're like, ooh,
I'm mad. But I didn't think I was like mad.
I thought it was fine, but it wasn't.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
I'm mad because I left that thing irritated. I'm pestering.
Speaker 2 (21:52):
You know what?
Speaker 1 (21:52):
What's super inspiring to me as we're talking about this
and I'm thinking about the musical last night, I had
heard that it took you like ten years, well Swiss,
but that to me last night Sos was like, she's
been working on this for like fifteen years? Is that true?
Speaker 2 (22:05):
It's exaggerated somewhere between ten and thirteen.
Speaker 1 (22:07):
Okay, well that's good. That's a long time.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
It's a long time.
Speaker 1 (22:11):
That was inspiring to me because sometimes I start a
project or I have an idea and it'll sit or
it'll I don't know, I just can't get it across
the finish line. And then I always wondered did I
miss did I miss the moment on it, or did
I miss the you know, because I heard one time
too Oprah so id always finished what you start. But
then also sometimes I feel like you start something if
it's not working for you. Yeah you had yeah, yeah,
(22:34):
I mean I had to be here, but you believed
in it. You took it all the way. You came
back to it. I'm sure left it came back.
Speaker 2 (22:40):
I think the thing about the this world, this theater world.
You know, my mother left Toledo, Ohio to come to
study at NYU, and she she is that that New
York story, you know, she is that one that came
(23:01):
from somewhere else with a dream to do a thing.
And in a lot of ways, I always felt like
she s had to sacrifice that part of her life
for me.
Speaker 1 (23:10):
Mm.
Speaker 2 (23:10):
You know. So when I am able to kind of
create these creative endeavors and and do them, I think
about the fact that sh it's her dream too.
Speaker 1 (23:21):
Mm.
Speaker 2 (23:21):
You know I I her dream and my dream are intertwined,
you know. And so when I think about particularly in
the theater, because she took me as a kid to tktks,
the super cheap tickets so we could buy tickets or
whatever show and watch it together. Mm. You know what
I mean, I think about this, and now when we've
(23:42):
been able to create Health's Kitchen, you know, this is
in a way the accumulation of this dream that she
had at nineteen. So it really makes me very emotional
and it makes me really like a you know, it
makes this so much worth it. You really see through
Hell's Kitchen that it ultimately as a love storageing a
mother and a daughter. And you know, I.
Speaker 1 (24:05):
Your mother must have been emotional wreck the first time
she saw it.
Speaker 2 (24:08):
I know, I me too too.
Speaker 1 (24:10):
Yeah, what did you learn? Like, what what did you
heal from that?
Speaker 2 (24:13):
I think one of the things that I really have
seen my personal growth, it was it came up yesterday,
is that I, you know, my father and I, although
my mother raised me, you know, my father and I
had a a journey to get through to really find
our way to our own relationship that had to happen
(24:33):
in its own time. And I'm very proud of seeing
the way that we have been able to m meet
each other where we are. And so you do get
a glimpse of in the in Hell's Kitchen, of the
relationship between Ali and her mother and and her mother
and Ali and her father, And for me, you can
(24:54):
see the growth of that relationship personally. Yeah, And I
feel really really I'm proud of that, and I feel
like that's something that's important for people to know that
there is ways to grow through things that may have
been challenging.
Speaker 1 (25:07):
How did you get how did what is the key
to that? To mending a relationship like that? Or is
it mending even or is just you said meeting each.
Speaker 2 (25:14):
Other where we are? Yeah, I think that. I think
that's part of it kind of. I think the first
part for me was like really being able to. We
think relationships are supposed to be a certain way. You
think of a father and daughter relationship, and you think
of a certain relationship. That person's supposed to have raised you,
they're supposed to have lived with you, maybe they married
they they married the parent, the other parent, there was
(25:36):
some type of long standing thing and that This is
how we see it. But every relationship is not the same.
So I think at a certain point we have I
we have in our head the way a s relationship
is supposed to play out, and if it doesn't look
like that in our lives, we somehow feel bad about it.
(25:58):
We feel like that it s something has been something
has gone wrong. Now, there are plenty of things that
maybe could have been better, for sure, m but just
because he didn't raise me doesn't mean that we can't
have our own relationship. I wasn't ready for that at
a certain point, you know what I mean. But and
he was either. But then when you realize, okay, so
(26:20):
maybe he's not daddy, Okay, I c I could, I
could admit, but we could be We can be friends,
like we can get to know each other. We can
actually have a relationship, our own relationship that we define
in our own way. He is my father, It's the truth,
and I would like to have a a good relationship
with him. So I think taking out the expectations of
(26:43):
what it supposed to be and meaning it where it
actually is. If you can. If you can't, then don't
you shouldn't. And I did that too, I said, noy,
know what, I'm not ready to me to hear. I don't.
I'm not able to do that. That happened too. But when
I was, and it was able to be natural and genuine,
and I was able to be open hearted enough, and
(27:03):
so is he. And then we communicate, you know, then
you then you find wow, I do understand that. Oh,
I can see that.
Speaker 1 (27:10):
It's probably so freeing too, right, Wow?
Speaker 2 (27:12):
It l it takes a load off mm takes a
big load off, cause I think a lot of times
we hold all this anger and expectation for things and people.
But who's who's feeling that anger? You? Who's being affected
by that anger? You? Who's who's crumbling under that anger? You?
The other person don't even have a damn clue what
you feel. They go off living their life great as ever,
(27:35):
but you are crushed under this anger and pain that
you're holding on too. So I think when we can
let that go and kind of say again, we don't,
that doesn't mean that we have to. It's valid. These
things come from a place. They deserve to be rectified,
you know. But if you could let it go, then
(27:56):
maybe you can start from a new place. So that's
why I think, because.
Speaker 1 (28:01):
We always hear that you gotta let it go, you
can't hold on to anger. We hear terms like that,
but literally how to do that is where people get
tripped up. Tripped up, yes, because it's emotional. I don't
know how to do that. But I love what you
said about just meeting people where they are like, Okay,
this is our story, so here we are.
Speaker 2 (28:16):
It's you know, right.
Speaker 1 (28:19):
I think that's a good tool and just a good
kind of understanding of getting there. It's so good for you.
By the way, the actors are unbelievable. Yes, now that
you've done this like you have done it, You've done it. Bag.
You are a household name, my friend, you really are.
You never think of like you're a household name. There's
nobody that I could say at Lasia Keys is on
my podcast and they go, who is she? Nobody that
(28:40):
does that like you've done. It's wow, it's crazy. And
you're still regular to me. I don't know, maybe just
because we have a relationship, but I don't you.
Speaker 2 (28:50):
Don't seem to you know me.
Speaker 1 (28:53):
I know you seem to manage that level of fame
at least from the outside really well, like you seem
to have a good core group. I guess family probably
helps with that, right.
Speaker 2 (29:05):
Yeah, I do. I think family, you know. I think
it's also like where I came from that also instilled
that in me. And by you know, not to mention
the fact that if you know my mother, you know she.
Speaker 1 (29:18):
Will has she ever done that? Has she ever said
to you like you are feeling yourself?
Speaker 2 (29:24):
She will like you need you know, just good feel
just keep you humble, like how to keep you.
Speaker 1 (29:30):
Humble, And she's right, you want to be humble, you do?
Speaker 2 (29:33):
You do have to kind of like keep things into perspective.
Speaker 1 (29:36):
And do you ever be in your bag?
Speaker 2 (29:37):
Sometimes that doesn't mean that I can't be on my ship.
I can still be on my ship.
Speaker 1 (29:46):
And what what lifts you up? What do you most
feel like you're in your bag? What is the circumstances
that would you know?
Speaker 2 (29:54):
I feel like what I'm recognizing is I can I
can really be in my bag when I have a
really strong team. M I feel like I feel the
most in my bag, Like you know, just recently this summer,
I did the Keys to the Summer tour and I
felt like I reunited with one of my favorite directors
(30:15):
named Diane Martel. She did the thing got You video,
she did the like You'll never see me again video,
and we connected, you know, to to create the stage
show for Keys to the Summer and I just felt
like she's so understood a side of me, and she
has such a strength in herself that it allowed me
(30:35):
to be in my bag because the team that I
was assembling just felt like strong. That's the same way
I feel with Hell's Kitchen. I feel that same way.
It's a strong team. Everyone holds their weight, and so
I can be in my bag. We can all be
in our bag because there's like equal sharing of the responsibility.
That's what I can That's when I feel the most
(30:56):
in my bag. Sometimes when you have to carry all
the weight and do all the on that you're like
you can't quite get in your bag because you got
to do.
Speaker 1 (31:03):
Or speaking to my soul right now. Just clear, she's
not speaking to our soul. We've been trying to. Sometimes
I just have all these ideas and things I want
to do and I don't have the resources, so I
pile it on myself or you know, I have like
a small team, very small team, and so sometimes you
over extend yourself and there's no way to deliver or
(31:24):
to be, like you say, in your bag when you're
like spread them like that is hard at all.
Speaker 2 (31:28):
Yeah, I know, and I've been there many times. I mean,
my team will understand too, where we're pretty small as well. Yeah,
there was came a time where we were like, Okay,
we have to say no. We have to say more no.
Speaker 1 (31:39):
Talk to me about no. Okay, when do you say no?
Speaker 2 (31:42):
You know, well, first of all, I've realized because you're ambitious,
you know.
Speaker 1 (31:46):
To balance. I try to balance though I am ambitious.
Speaker 2 (31:48):
And that's a blessing because you have ideas, you have things,
You're motivated, you're inspired, you have on so many levels,
which is such a blessing. But then you have to realize,
if I can't execute this in the manner that I
would expect of myself, you know, then I have to
say no. And if I'm putting too much on my team,
(32:09):
because now we're we've already said yes to far too
many things, you know, we have to say no. So
we have started a practice where we were like, okay,
this is this has to be a no because it
just it's gonna takes it.
Speaker 1 (32:22):
Ever break your heart. Have you ever made a mistake?
And no, have you ever ever something you're like, ah,
I should have did it?
Speaker 2 (32:29):
No, But I felt many times when I was like, oh,
I shouldn't have did it.
Speaker 1 (32:33):
More more regret.
Speaker 2 (32:34):
When you do regret, I'm like I knew, I sh
I knew this wasn't it and my spirit said don't
do it. And now here I am doing it and
I'm mad. I'm not feel I'm not in my joy
like I feel frustrated, you know, so I do feel
like the nose are y. As part of the relationship
of practicing to speak my truth, I have learned to
(32:58):
also trust my gut. And I know what yes feels like.
I know what yes feels like mm. I'm very clear
about what yes feels like. And I know how it
feels when it's a maybe mm. And I know what
it feels like when it's like it's not really a no,
but I think that it's gonna make a few people happy,
so I make it turn into a yes because I
think that it's gonna be nice for those people. But
(33:20):
it's not a yes, it's no. It wasn't a yes,
it was a maybe. And so if it's not a yes,
then it's a no.
Speaker 1 (33:30):
I don't know, w I I whatever you just said,
I'm gonna put in a little clipper and put it
for remind myself like this when I'm saying yes to
too many things and gonna that's gonna be like remind
my reminder. I can't repeat it exactly what you said,
but I know it was important. I know I need
to hear that again. I know I need to rewind
that and press play on that mm, but the nose
and the maybes and the yes.
Speaker 2 (33:50):
It's right. So but I feel you, man, Let's talk
about it's a holiday season.
Speaker 1 (33:55):
People are dealing with all types of family holiday season
vibes and they're home. Some people get very excited and
very holiday ish. Yes, some people stresses them out. I
just wonder what your family dying because you from the gram,
I mean I know you personally, but like from the gram,
your family looks like they have the greatest time ever
at every occasion.
Speaker 2 (34:15):
What else? Right, It's just just tricky, right, it's the
highlight tricky thing about you know, any social media?
Speaker 1 (34:21):
What is the family dynamic of the Alicia Keys holiday season?
And well, first of allah, break it down, list let.
Speaker 2 (34:28):
Me family situation. What you need to do is get
this diary Alicia Keys twenty vinyl. Oh yes, per playing
in the back at your function. It will fix whatever's wrong,
whatever's going on, whatever stress you might be feeling, whatever
like uncertainty. It's just going wide it away. You're gonna
be good. And if you don't know what to get
(34:50):
somebody as a gift, oh look at that, so look
at that. Just saying that the house that's at our house.
It's awesome. I think it's I think it's really cool.
We we have a really big family, m as.
Speaker 1 (35:04):
You know, I know you have a blended family.
Speaker 2 (35:07):
You have a big, blended, awesome family. Yeah, and I
and I gotta say all of us. It's kind of
like a all of us kind of pass through. We
have different moments that we're together. I love we do
this pre I'm big into rituals.
Speaker 1 (35:23):
Tell me about your rituals. Give us one or two.
Speaker 2 (35:25):
We do this pre Christmas ritual, mkay. And it happens
the it happens on Christmas Eve, and we make each
other handmade gifts. Now everybody wants to kill me cause
they're like, honestly, we gotta do this again this year.
And I say, yes, we have to do it because
it's special. And every time we do it, it does
(35:47):
bring up something unique, and we gather together and we
all have to kind of present what we made. And
you know, you pull the name and sometimes you know
that person really well. Sometimes you don't, h and that's
kind of cool cause you're like, Okay, well what would
this person like and how could I get to know
them a little bit better? And what can I damn
make with my own hands that will not be stupid.
Speaker 1 (36:11):
And then the person might enjoy. Give me an example,
what is something you made, like when did you kill it?
Speaker 2 (36:15):
Alright, I'll tell you when I kill ki.
Speaker 1 (36:17):
Okay, good telling.
Speaker 2 (36:18):
But maybe it's something as simple as like you have
a beautiful printed picture and you put it into a
frame that you kind of decorated with something. Yeah, right,
So maybe it's something like that.
Speaker 1 (36:29):
Kay.
Speaker 2 (36:30):
The time that I killed it, it was for Genesis.
I got Genesis MM and I decided to make this
kind of sculpture of this this anime that they love,
and I created the tree so that he could have
his like characters and he could play in the in
the this this main tree. I think it was either
(36:51):
one piece or Hunter ex Hunter or one of them.
So I made the tree and it was ill. I
made the whole base of it, and I had to
paint it, and there's like a whole uh see around it.
So we did this whole technique with kind of like
the stones and the thing and the sea.
Speaker 1 (37:06):
You're making at cards with your hands, you know, you
make it like a hole.
Speaker 2 (37:08):
It was a treat in the sea that was the
that was the animate that he could play his his
little toys in and I was like, oh I I
one body killed this. Of course I ain't never see
him pay with it, no want like not like all
eyes in the corner.
Speaker 1 (37:24):
It doesn't take away from the fact that.
Speaker 2 (37:25):
You killed it. I did kill it.
Speaker 1 (37:27):
Killed it. That's what is the greatest lesson you've learned
in marriage about yourself? Mm? What does marriage taught you
about yourself?
Speaker 2 (37:38):
Wow?
Speaker 1 (37:38):
Okay, okay, cause really it's that's what they say it is.
Speaker 2 (37:43):
It's a mirror.
Speaker 1 (37:44):
It's a mirror, right, It's like nothing makes you work
on yourself more than living a life with somebody else.
Speaker 2 (37:51):
Right now, It's so good. This question is really good.
Thank you. I definitely know that I am. I'm an
organizer and I enjoy that. I really like to create
the space for the time that we need. And I
(38:11):
learned that I'm really good at that and I have
to constantly not let that go.
Speaker 1 (38:18):
Mm.
Speaker 2 (38:19):
Like that's a really important thing that I'm good at,
and that I think it really flourished it. It helps
us to flourish. M you know, because it's easy to
be so busy, it's easy to be distracted, it's easy
to be working hard, so to me is like, that's
just the Aromonts and that's and that's it's something I'm
(38:40):
good at. Yeah, we're good at it, but I'm really
good at Like, w is there.
Speaker 1 (38:44):
Anything you had to fix about yourself? Cause I feel
like that is a thing. Like for me, one of
the things in my relationship I learned about myself is
that I would internalize you know, I'm a empathetic person,
right like I my friends, I wanna you know, I
wanna help them if I can, and I would carry
it m and then bring it home. And I never
knew that about myself until somebody had he had to
point it out to me. You know, somebody close to
(39:05):
you teaches you something about yourself or just and so
I realized that and it's actually been really helpful in
my life to be able to be there, still be
there and be empathetic but let it kind of almost
things go through me as opposed to like holding everybody's.
Speaker 2 (39:19):
Energy issues things. Yes.
Speaker 1 (39:22):
Yeah, so that's like for me, that was one thing.
I just wonder if you have any of those experience
where he put like a mirror to you, like, hey,
maybe you want to work on this.
Speaker 2 (39:29):
I think I have to continue to work on. And
I've seen that I have to work on being just
better at being a little more still like I'm a
do or I'm a getter, or I'm a thinger, I'm
a fixer, I'm an organizer, a thing I'm gonna go,
or I'm love And I think that I have to
get I've seen that I have to get better at
being like it's okay that you're just like but he's
(39:50):
the same way. He's definitely the same.
Speaker 1 (39:52):
I can't tell you that you're not.
Speaker 2 (39:54):
He's the same.
Speaker 1 (39:55):
He's more I think more than you.
Speaker 2 (39:57):
Or But I think he's good at like when he's home,
he's good at kind of like being able to be easy.
He can like sleep in the bed, He'll rest until
ten eleven twelve. Me, I'm like six am.
Speaker 1 (40:10):
I rest bum bong bong.
Speaker 2 (40:12):
He's like, we gonna need a little like give me.
Speaker 1 (40:16):
Up till a twelve PM. I need it like at
least till twelve.
Speaker 2 (40:20):
And I need it too, m you know what I mean.
So I think that being able to just kind of
like still like be still, not not actually activate and
execute all the things, just kind of like be still
in the space together it's really nice. And that's something
that I I always have to be like, wait, stop
(40:41):
trying to do all the things I'm trying to plan,
all the things I'm trying to do.
Speaker 1 (40:43):
With cam your red down. How happy are you on
a scale of one to ten today?
Speaker 2 (40:48):
Today? I'm definitely I I'm not a fucking.
Speaker 1 (40:52):
Ten, really, I am? That is that? Is that all
the time for you?
Speaker 2 (40:56):
Most all the time?
Speaker 1 (40:57):
No, that's not all the no, I know, but it's
had a common thing. Some people say they have never
got to a tech. Some people like, uh, keep a
tend reserved. I was gonna go eight nine, Okay, I was.
Speaker 2 (41:08):
That was my first thing, honest, first reason gotta be
honest was like eight nine and I and I felt
like when I checked in with myself, I felt that
I was not honoring my joy and I I think
that it is very important that when we're feeling joyful, mm,
that we can say we're feeling joyful. I think it's
(41:30):
so easy to say this is not good and I'm
not happy and this is not going well, and that
happens too. And there's plenty of that too that I
could pull out and be like, well, this isn't that good.
But I'm feeling joyful. I'm feeling grateful. I was thinking
about this, celebrating this milestone with diary. I was thinking
about launching something that I've been working on so long,
(41:50):
with Hell's Kitchen. I was thinking about the love I
have for my family and my husband, my son being
there with me, my hubby being here with me, and
I feel healthy. I'm sitting with my friends. He's actually here.
He might be happy right now, but he was. I'm
sitting here with my friends. We're talking, We're we're together,
We're well, our minds are intact, our spirits are good.
Speaker 1 (42:12):
In real life? What do you pray for most me?
Speaker 2 (42:15):
I prayed for clarity.
Speaker 1 (42:17):
That's mine. I hate being confused. I hate not knowing
and not I It's like, if I know, I can
figure out a plan of action, or I could I
know how to show up. If I don't have clarity,
I feel it's crazy.
Speaker 2 (42:32):
You know, it's crazy. It's crazy.
Speaker 1 (42:34):
That's a great prayer.
Speaker 2 (42:35):
Yeah, clarity, clarity and and peace. Safety. It's good.
Speaker 1 (42:42):
Mm moost are good in real life. What are you
most proud of about yourself?
Speaker 2 (42:47):
In real life? I am most proud that I am
a normal human me, I don't know, most proud and
I'm like, you know, I feel like people can meet me,
seeing me, talk to me, bill with me. They're gonna
know that I am their sister. I am just I
am that same energy. I have not shifted that energy.
(43:08):
That energy will always be there. I am very proud
of that. I think that's easy to lose.
Speaker 1 (43:14):
Yes, you are a household name. You know.
Speaker 2 (43:17):
You reminded me you could easily be your there's some
big headed, annoying human and I'm not with it. I'm
just not even with it at all.
Speaker 1 (43:28):
That would not be good for anyone.
Speaker 2 (43:30):
No, and real life.
Speaker 1 (43:31):
How important is money to you?
Speaker 2 (43:33):
Mm? Obviously you know money does help a lot of things.
But for me, that's not where wealth is. To me,
that's not wealth, that's not that's not rich to me.
Like your your sanity is where your wealth is. Your health, man,
there's nothing more important than you being able to be healthy.
You know, that is your wealth to be able to
(43:56):
you know, wake up and have all your wits about
you and love, like real love, genuine that thing that's real,
not based on something that you have or gonna get
for something that who you just are on a Wednesday
in your pajamas with nothing, you know, those are those
are the thing that's that's like, that's the wealth, that's
(44:18):
that's being rich. So I really I'm very clear about
that in real life.
Speaker 1 (44:22):
What are your triggers or your pet peeves? Like, what
is something that would take you that number ten?
Speaker 2 (44:28):
I mean some of my pet peeves hm on one
of mine I don't like.
Speaker 1 (44:39):
I don't like people trying to manipulate me. Yeah, way, oh,
somebody tell me half the story, cause they trying to
make me do I I could cause I see you
from up the block. Yeah, you could have just asked
me for what you needed me to do. Cause nine
times out of ten, if I can, I would. But
when you try to, I don't know why. That's just triggered.
I probably you would figure that out. But it's for
(45:01):
sure trigger for me will literally make me not like someone.
It's not okay.
Speaker 2 (45:04):
Yeah, I can go.
Speaker 1 (45:05):
From like, oh they seem like a nice person to
I don't like that.
Speaker 2 (45:09):
That's a good one.
Speaker 1 (45:09):
That's a real one for me.
Speaker 2 (45:11):
That's a right one.
Speaker 1 (45:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (45:12):
Man, what's one of my triggers? So it's probably knows
I feel like I feel like one of My triggers
are like I need you to do what you said
you're gonna do. Mmm, Like I do what I say
I'm gonna do. So when people can't meet me where
I meet them, that triggers me. And like you said
you were gonna do that, you should do what you
(45:32):
say you're gonna do. You know that's a big one
for me. Or don't say it. Just don't say something
that you can't do. If you can't do it, don't
don't don't say you can do it.
Speaker 1 (45:40):
I just thought of Little Alley in the play and
her dad saying she's coming to the thing. That's probably
what that's rue.
Speaker 2 (45:45):
I think it might come a little bit from there
a little bit.
Speaker 1 (45:51):
And then in real life, what do you I don't know.
What do you hope people take from your story and
what you put out in the world, like mm or
even this conversation today, like when you make things eks
wh where where do you hope they land?
Speaker 2 (46:03):
Yeah? Man, I hope that they land in people's hearts.
I feel like I just want people to feel the genuineness,
the the care, and the pure energy that goes into it,
because I think that we're receiving a lot of messages
that are filled with like not pure intention. Mm you
(46:24):
know what I mean. And so I would love for
people to just take away that there is that genuineness,
there is that authentic energy that we can be. We
can be who we actually are. We don't have to
put on a bunch of acts and phony and fake
it down and up. We can just be You are special,
just how you are. And so I would love that
(46:46):
my comfort in who I am uh reminds somebody that
they are are incredible exactly how they are, and we
can respect and love each other and like applaud and
uplift each other, cause I think that would change a lot.
I love that, and I love this and with you
me too, this platform. Thank you for this natural conversation,
(47:08):
and thank you for just being such a supporter of
me and the art and so adore you. I appreciate you.
Speaker 1 (47:16):
Thank you, Alicia Keys, everybody, Hey, how so dame here
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Angie Martinez
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