City Girls JT

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
And you Martinez in real life podcast. I was reapy
to be here. So when I saw you, I was
somewhere where was that when you DM? I was like,
oh my god, J teaches DM. I want to way.
I'm like, I want to do this. Where were you
with me when she podcasts? Yeah? You sent me this,
you sent you told me the d M. Yes, Like

(00:22):
I want to do this podcast. It's like, this is
so like elevating. I'm like, if I'm like the youngest person,
I'm you. Are you the baby, the baby in the podcast?
I feel like everybody should like properly welcome j T. Though.
I feel like j J ch j T is the

(00:45):
baby of the podcast. So lucky. I'm so happy happy,
I'm so happy happy. I was mine of my business.
I was. I was sitting somewhere with and I was
just talking about the podcast and how great I was
about some episode. Oh, it was at Fat Joe's house.
That's where I was at Fat Joe's house. His wife
is one of my best friends. Who were sitting there

(01:06):
eat and talking about the podcast, and um, I was
telling them how great an episode I had just shot
to Roger bi Henson's episode. We're talking about it and
then you d have me out of nowhere and I
was like, she said you should I want to do
the show. Yes, I said Jim, she said she wants
to the show. I thought it was so thought the show. Yeah,
I love your show. I watch you. I'm so much

(01:28):
share on Alon like I just I was, I'm like
a my age to go on this show, like I
stop right now, no, and I'm no shade, like no
shade because I love everybody that comes on the show.
But I was like, it's this just like a show
for mature people who should have eggs or like should
I have my team? And I'm like, she'll see my
d M faster. It made me so happy because I
don't want it to be for one for just like

(01:49):
the first couple of guests I had with all women,
and I was like, I don't want guys to think
it's just for women. But I don't want nobody to
feel like that because I feel like real life is
real life for everybody, Like your real life is very
different than some of my other guests, but that's what
it's about. It's like what do you what is your
what is your real life like? And what are you
going through and what are you, what are your challenges

(02:09):
in your dreams and the things that we could because
we can all learn from each other. I don't think
this age on that. I don't think that. I don't
think that. And that's what I was saying. I was like, Okay,
let me just sneaking. But I'm glad you said that,
because I feel like your podcast has ranged and it's
by it's like everybody, like so many people I look
up so came on your show. Like, so, I'm like,

(02:30):
which one don't you watch? Tuppy right now? It's like
a good guys. I watched Lord London, Um, Kelly Rowlands,
I watched it's one more personal depitely watched Kim Kardashian's on,
but it's one more person like in between there. I
don't was one of the guys was that Ashantish? It

(02:50):
was Ashanti? It was Ashanti. So you watched all the girls,
you didn't watching them the guys you didn't watch Mike
Tyson didn't watch us so no, no, no, no no, I
didn't watch some of US. I didn't watch the full thing.
I'm a week fan of ushers, so I watched some
of Usher, but I did not finish it out, but
I finished all the women because I'm such a I
feel like I learned so much from women. Like I
funk with men too, but I feel like I learned

(03:11):
so much about from women, Like I don't really care
what a man things like that. No, I don't like
I learned from women more than a man. A man
can't teach me nothing for real, Like for real, you're
talking about Lauren London and how much she's I love
Lauren London. Both of us are said, so she always
be Yeah, she always seeing me with the most positive

(03:31):
one point information about myself. I feel like how to fun,
you know? But she s gifted. I wish she talked
more and she always talks to me like if I
might not even on the internet for a long time.
She's just randomly DM me and me like let see
your head in it like like she's just so positive,
Like and have you met her in person? Only we

(03:54):
DM friends. But Lauren was like one of the first person,
first people to show the city girls love. Like I
remember she she uploaded sweet Tooth. I was like, how
to fund you noticed on she knows? She definitely she knows.
I appreciate it so much. Because she always say I
know how I said. It's Harry said, you're going to
your show. I'm like, yeah, I just don't sunk with

(04:15):
it in there right now, Like I'm just gonna be away.
That's so cute. She's the best. I call her too,
but sometimes like yo, what do you think about this?
And she's like a person, like I trust her. I
just trust her judgment and stuff. She needs to talk more, Yeah,
she do right, because you know, like growing up, I
used to think pretty faces don't go through anything. Huh.
I think if you're pretty, you're not going with nothing.
And she's so pretty. Yeah, she's so beautiful. It so

(04:37):
like if you're pretty, you won't go through nothing. So
it's like the gold is to be pretty, so I
won't have to go through nothing. But that's not ain't out.
How's that work out for you? You get pretty, then
you want to get prettier, get sexy, you want to
get sexy er, Like it's just like no, Like I
feel like women's a woman, especially in today's age, Like

(04:57):
we see so much on Instagram, we you so much
on Twitter. We see so many different body type faiths
here and all of that, and we today I'm gonna
look like this, and tomorrow I wanna look like that,
and then like one calm may get throw off your
whole day or like anything. So just like today's age,
it's so hard. It's a pinpoint who you are. And

(05:20):
if you find out who you are, so important to
master that, yes, because you have so much noise at
all time, and then who do you listen to? And
then and then you throw fame into it. Then you
throw two women in a group together, and all the
stuff that comes with that, the comparisons, the groomers, all
of the things that come with that. Oh yeah, it's
a lot. It has to be here for you. I'll

(05:40):
tell you one of the things that I saw about you,
I was so excited. First of all, I always thought,
how you've managed to kind of like jump back into
your career after you know, coming out of president, how
you've managed and just I've seen you in interviews and yeah,
you sad seeing all that stuff, but but you're smart
and you about your business and I always respected that.
So when I got your d M, I was like, here,
I want to know her more because you don't do

(06:02):
a lot of interviews. No, because when I come up
unfortunately I was in prison like it was. It was
very um an unfortunate situation that I kind of beat
myself up about to this day, like yes, I'd be
like if I would have never went to prison, we
would have been here like or we would have been
on this level because I feel like wrapping is my

(06:23):
skill and I and I feel like when I got out.
As soon as I got out, I had to go
to the halfway house, and a lot of people didn't
understand I had to do like six months and a
halfway house, meaning I could not shoot a video, I
couldnot be seen for real, and I used to sneak
and do like posts. But like I swear out of
my last week of the house foray House, I got
a big trouble and I almost got sent the prison
for posting. And I was like yeah, because I was

(06:46):
letting people get in my head because so many people
was typing on internet, like she came home and she
did nothing, but I couldn't do nothing, and there was
so many people at the time coming up, and when
we first came in, was not that many girls coming up.
So I felt like I had a responsibility to get
out in like get back to my group, but I couldn't.
I couldn't give nothing because I was in a halfway house.
So I was trying to like post a little bit.

(07:07):
And then the song that we came out where I
didn't like. We didn't like that song and much, but
I just wanted to put it through something. It's not
even remember what call you tried it something like, but
it was just like a crazy situation. So it seems
as if I went back into it, but I never did.
I never did because first of all, I had to
go to the halfway house. Second of all, as Tunis,
I got out of hype for House Smart six and

(07:29):
the pandemic hit. The pandemic hits, like it was unbelievable.
It was just like I knew it, like I knew
it was too good to be true, Like I know
my life is just cannot be puny. But no way
I want to talk about that whole time. But I
would love because there might be some people that I
don't know all that much about, like how you even

(07:49):
got there, and young j T and who she is
and how you got to wrap it one know, how
you even got to that point, yeah, where you're in
a group and you got locked up and you you'ren't
even in that position, and like just about your young life,
like like just give us a little bit about young JT.
Growing up. Okay, So my life was like a little
crazy because growing up I did have a dad who

(08:10):
had a lot of money. He sold drugs and he
had a lot a lot of money. But it was like, uh,
mama's baby daddy maybe situation. So it was like my
dad had sixteen kids, but I didn't look like them.
So it was always I feel like always I was
like a black sheep in my family or I wasn't
treated fairly because he did not like my mom. Like

(08:30):
I know my dad probably see this, but he did
not like my mom, so I didn't think he liked
me because he hated her. So I lived with him
because my mom was like on drugs, and I felt
like I was never treated fairly because I stayed with
my spelm mom and there was their mogs. So it
was like my sisters and brothers and it was with
their mom and my dad and it was like okay
day with their mom. They did they see a married
family and I'm just an outcast, Like I was always

(08:52):
so outspoken, always so instrouble and just like you have
to be because as a little girl in the house
like that, you're probably trying to stand out right, You're
trying to Yeah, Like basically just felt like at home
I wasn't getting enough potention, So when I go to school,
I would act out all the time just for that attention,
and then I it would resign and let me getting
my ass whooped all the fucking time because I was

(09:13):
so bad so my growing up. Then I stopped leaving
my dad when I was like thirteen years old, and
I wanted to move with my aunt and my cousins,
And where's your mom? The whole time on drugs in prison?
Like always in and out of prison. My mom was
in in prison and she was on drugs my whole childhood.
But shout out to my mom because she's so beautiful.
Now she's off drugs and she's like doing work helping

(09:35):
people rehability. My mom is like in a very very
good situation. But growing up I did not have my
mom like from my from me being fined to thirty
like tim there, and I feel like she would she'll
have her brakes when she's doing good, and she'll bring
me gives and then my dad would do like even
stuff if you can't bring the rest of the kids
in the house, that she can't have that. It was

(09:55):
like a era one flip phones. Flip phones is coming
out and all types of ship but my mom Okay.
I moved from with my dad when I was like
thirteen years old and I went to live with my
aunt and my cousins because I felt like it was
so cool, like it was they was having their way
and they was doing what they wanted to. When I
got down there, this is and where was this? I

(10:16):
was living in like Cara City like with my dad,
and then I moved to Liberty Liberty and my my
mom's out of the families from Liby City. I used
to cheer for Liberty City, am, and I got you
cheered you probably so cute. Yeah, And then I got
down there and I realized they can't do they won't.
This is fucking poverty like. And so I went from
like a decent home, no no shade and my aunt

(10:37):
which she would tell the truth too, we were struggling,
like we were struggling so bad, and my dad would
give like three awe and she would keep it because
you know, she gotta put grocery and all of this
stuff so I won't have nothing no more. And then
I wanted to go back home with my dad. But
that's why I was in my dad now, like I
don't really funk with him like that, because I wanted
to go back home, like I'm like, all right, like
I wanna go come. He never let me, like he

(10:57):
never let me thirteen. He's the last sirs. I remember
as you made your bill any So it was like,
how does he feel about now? Like where you at?
You don't have anything. I don't have nothing against him,
but I don't really talk. I feel like I'm a dog.
I don't know, but it hasn't been relaid to you,
like you're like, I gotta believe he's somewhere bragging that
his daughter's once. Probably he think he's a DJ when

(11:19):
he's a DJ. But um, of course he is bragging
that one. He's a hustler. To hustling. It has to
be pride in what you've been able to accomplish. I mean, yeah,
it has to be. My mom must be for sure.
My mom is I'm always invite my mom. My mom
is like taking I take care of my mom, she's
where to taking care of because that's my mom, Like,
you want to get one mom, so rather whatever she

(11:41):
did in her life, I don't care. But I was
literally like third seen and I moved out, and then
growing up, I literally just was like a rolling song
my whole life. I would live her friends, move her friends,
go back someone, make more family like, make bigger family like.
And then I got older. I us was hard working,

(12:01):
like I literally was always all working. I was like
a born hustler. You had, yes, I had good jobs,
like I was working at working. I was working at
the Miames Creme. I worked at this. I did working.
Working was not like my first job. I did like
the front register and I get my mouth was always
so flipps. So I used to get in school with everybody.
It did not last because at the time I was

(12:23):
I was only scamming. I was slick scamming. At the
time I was walking at working. But I had a
boyfriend and I did not want my boyfriend and I
was scamming. So I was trying to make him because
he was into football, and you know, football players be
so serious and about college at school and all that.
So I didn't want him to know I was doing
nothing illegal, So I went and got a real job.
In the whole time, I had a car Couci glasses

(12:43):
weed to my boy, and he like burk, ain't paying
that much time. I'm scamming. So I was scamming when
I was like working at work King. Then I left Burking,
I got a better job. Then I got a better job.
I start working at Hopfools. I think Hopefuls in my
last shop. Hopfus was my last shop. And then I
went to school. I'm going to school from fashion merchandizing.
And then my friends would always use my car because

(13:05):
um being I was a young skinny girl. So I
had made this boy by me a car. So my
friends was using my car and they will always come
back with so many clothes in a car, like what
y'all doing? But they put me on to what they
was doing in because the first game was what were
they doing exactly? I can't say, I mean, you can't

(13:26):
tell them what were you doing? You can say what
I was doing. I was scamming. Basically, my first scam
wasn't a real scam like when I was like a
runner at first and I was working at very King,
but when I literally like what I went to jail
for is literally I started being more of a boss
of my situation. I learned how to do more with
the with the stuff, so they would come back with more,

(13:46):
like you know, clothes, shoes and all that. I'm like,
oh my god, I'm at school. I ain't making no
money in school. This ship is not working out for me.
It's taken too long. I'm thinking I'm going screen in
the school and I could have come out it's like
a fashion designer. But it was taken longer than I thought.
So I got bored with school because at the time,
I was like homeless for real, like dead as homeless.
I was going to my best friend house, but it

(14:06):
was like a lot because her brother was there. How
old are you at this time? Oh, I would say
I was like twenty one two. When I was going
to a I was like twenty one so when I
was going to college, because I just felt like that
that's what I wanted to do. I was a smart girl,
but I wanted to move faster. So I started making money.

(14:27):
Like I started making real bread, like off of real bread,
not like you make it now. He no, but no, no, no, no, no,
no real bread for the hood. I was. I was
making twenty thou and I gonna come back home with
twenty thousand and some crety like in one run, like
one in one run. But I like ye, I was
a role runner, not ye. Not like to too. Like

(14:49):
if I if I leave today and I come back Friday,
I'm gonna come back with like twenty beans and some
credy in some games and some shoes in the purse.
And in that time, did you ever a worry like
if I get caught and go to jail. No, I
was just living it. And I feel like time like
divine timing, like when like I got my indictment. It

(15:10):
was like a week after we dropped our a song.
It was so crazy, like I wanted to go to
the studio. My friend was telling me, like, oh, you
need to be a rapper because we's a freestyle on
a row and I was so good at it. I
would kill it every time, And my friend was like,
you that bitch. Um. People gonna look up to see
you if you start rapping. If you start, you already
flying right, Like I gotta do it rap, but I'm

(15:33):
so shy, so I'm like I can't wrap by myself,
Like I want to do the song, but I want
to do it with somebody else, and I wanted my
cousin to do I just then that's when I called
Koreasi and she was just so for it. So we
did our phone and like a week later, I got
indict it and I didn't even know. I didn't know
it was that fast. It was a week later. I

(15:54):
interviewed her when he was locked up. I don't know
if you know that, and I had, I knew a
little bit, but I I wasn't all the way in yet.
I didn't know so much about you, especially the history
or the how you She even got there, but I
knew you were locked up. So I met her and
just to know that it was that fast that like
you hit her, Yeah, not what We was already friends,

(16:15):
Like we were already like friends. I used to sleep
a sleep at Coreasians Growdmouse Leaner house all the time,
like we were already friends. And I was just calling
my closest friends to seem like who the match with,
like who the group would But I didn't even think
it was gonna be a group. I just want to
put out a song and I felt like she was
like most hated in the town. And it was like,
all right, so this is gonna go like and and

(16:36):
it just went. But I kind of died it so fast,
so I just wanted to give up. She must have
been freaking out, but because this was like your brain,
this was your baby, your idea. You brought her in
and then you got to go away and took off
so fast in a hood like not all over the world,
but it took off so fast, and hood everybody loved
like we were talking to ship and like the clubs
was playing it. Everybody knew for her, and um. I

(16:59):
remember calling her from jail and I would say, like,
I don't think I'm getting out because I didn't know
what I was in jail for, Like for the longest
I know that I wasn't going to federal jail, but
I didn't know what the funk I was in for us,
So I didn't think I was getting out. And I
was like, I don't think because I did so much
won the role. So imagine not knowing what you with
jail for him, like it could be this, it could
be there, give me that. If it's that, I'm never
getting out. But if it's that I might get out.

(17:20):
So I was in like in that place. Someone I
called I would be like, I don't think I'm getting
out of jail. She was like, Grant so lit out
here they're paying out song like She's like, MENI pul
for him your part. I'm like, I'm like on the
phone like, oh my god, I'm never king out. But
she was just like still so excited about it because
it was so precious, so know when everybody was working
with us and all that. And then I end up

(17:41):
getting out, like my my coma put her house up
and I got up like a week later, and then
I was just like but you couldn't do anything right
because no, no, I could do it something. And I
wasn't on the house to rest anything. But I was
like very very depressed, Like I was very depressed. And
then I was in my house like in the dark,
and she would come over like we need to make
another song because it was just like so big, and
she was like we need to make another song, we

(18:02):
need to do another song, and I'm like I'm going
to jail, like I don't. And then we made another
song and that went and then right after that, I
think we met um pian coach coach. I met coach
person and he came and he like, don't post no
pictures of y'all us like yet, because everybody's going to
sign y'all. I'm like, key lying, everybodn't want to sign us.

(18:23):
And we just came out swinging through the gate. We
only had two songs. I think our personality kind of
by the way we talked, the way we walk and
it's just like your stars, like everybody wanted to know
what the the city girls are talking about. So it
worked out. But I got um my dad was like
a November in a November early December, but I had

(18:43):
census in on January. In January. Person went to jail
in January, but coach wrote like this long letter like
not like to get me a furlough. So I got
a furlough. And when I got my furlough, take in
me six months. So through my hole six months, I
worked hard hard. I literally was in the studio the

(19:06):
day before I woke woke. I mean I never went
to sleep. The day I was turning my step in,
I walked down the studio. It was sunlight. It was
signing for me to time myself in and I was
so sad. I cried the morning off. I was like,
oh my god, but I had to make these songs
because I know we needed an album, we needed something.
But you're in the studio making an album, not even
knowing if you're gonna be free. You're making music that's
gonna come out and you're not even gonna be Yeah,

(19:28):
I'm not gonna be there to do it. But it
was just like it didn't matter at the time because
I felt like it was nothing else for me to do.
I couldn't scam no more, I couldn't I do nothing.
It was like, literally, do what die? So it's like
use my talent or you phone right now. And I
went to the studio. I was at d J Halle studio,
matter of fact, and I recorded all night, all night,

(19:48):
all night, all night, and then I woke I never
went to sleep and I woke up. I walked out
of studio. The daytime, I said, oh my god, this today,
I'm going to jail, like for real. And the night
before it was such a happy night because I tell
this story all the time. That's when I song with
Drake came out, So it was such a happy night
and I was like, damn tomorrow, I'm going to jail,
Like I cannot leave. I'm going to jail, like and

(20:08):
there was nothing I could do about it but go
to jail. Like I can't go on the run because
I had to. It would have put my career in
at state. And I was like, I can't sold, I
gotta go to jail. I can't even imagine yo yo,
hustle and your work ethic and your belief. Yeah, it was.
It was. It was like crazy, like but I can't

(20:31):
I can't even give myself all the credit because at
the time, it was just so much like Pete coming
to sit inside of the studio and like motivate, motivate,
push push push y'all girl's gonna go like you just
got a Ladies Records, like say, like you know, do
these videos and we're gonna shoot as many videos we can,
like we're gonna nine it all up. All you gotta

(20:52):
tell yourself being like do the songs we're gonna put
We was doing videos, he was we was laying a
foundation and he was like I swear like when you
get out, it's still gonna be alive. And the whole
time I was in prison. It was like growing before
my eyes because I couldn't really see much, but I
had like billboard like magazines, and I would see our
name and a billboard magazine like on the charts, and

(21:13):
I was like, what the fun like this is us?
It was just like like amazing, it's crazy because when
you hear a lot. I have a lot of friends
that have been locked up, and I have a lot
of friends also that done work in the criminal justice
area and try to perform and stuff. And a lot
of times when you were a kid and one of
your parents is in jail, they say you're likely to
wind up in jail. Yeah, the children of people who

(21:36):
are incarcerated for a secret. My mom, my brother, and
my sister on my mom's side, they all had been
a prison, and I thought I was exempt, like that
ship is a real You can't letter they get like
in jail. They make you write there down like if
your mom in a jail. They caught it like a
generation room Curtis. My mom had went to jail, My sister,
and my brother had been in prison, and I thought
they couldn't happen to me. So I was why would

(21:59):
you think that you It's like all my friends damning
and none of them went to jail to this day, Like,
and did you have fear of that? You know what
I'm saying, Like, Well, you didn't fear it. You just
thought you were. I thought I was on such like
I thought I was gonna be out here in my
Chanel bags, my Gucci, and I thought I was gonna
get away with it. I thought I was gonna keep

(22:20):
going to people's stoves as other people and getting my
ship and I was gonna live my best life. But
God had something bigger for me, you know. So it
was like, I feel like that's the reason I'm gonna pressed.
You ever feel like, I don't know, do you ever
realize how lucky you are that it landed the way Atlanta,
because it could have went It could have went bad,
real bad, real bad. It could have been terrible like

(22:44):
it could have been. It could have been terrible, And
I'm glad that it landed the way that it did land.
But sometimes I kind of beat myself up for it
because I felt like if I would have never win
to prison, we could have pushed like more so, and
I feel like me going to prison kind of like
said Greate ad it a little bit, and it was like,
if I was out, we could have grew as a

(23:05):
group more. You get what I'm trying to say, because
it was like a height at the time he had
acted up. It was nobody else out and then like
I knew what I could do at the time, like
at that era of everybody trying to get in what
a fitting, I knew that I had something to give,
like and I feel like we could have we could
have gave both. But are you not happy where you're

(23:26):
at now? I'm happy. I'm happy, but I just feel
like as the city girls, it could have been more
like And it's not the end of it, so I
feel like we're still growing and we're still learning. But
I feel like if I would have never went to prison,
we could have grew more as a group and it
would have been like more like you know, that's not

(23:47):
interesting you think that because even when we started the interview,
I told you, like, one of the things that's most
like I'm impressed, most or just inspired is how you've
been able to make so much so quickly while you're
sitting in the cell and then you come out and
you hit the running like you did is because sometimes
people need an adjustment too. Yeah, but I felt you
know what I mean when you come out, Yeah you
need to just I have. I just been doing the

(24:08):
Halfway House, and I used to really lose my mind
because there was no way I could go but the studio.
So I really I recorded, and we recorded um City
on log and then they got leaked. It was like
nothing good is happening, Like nobody don't even respect us
in this ship. They're spending our music, they're putting it out,
Like why do I even want to rap? Like if

(24:31):
nobody can't even respect us as a group. And then
it was just bad that day and I felt like
give up, Like fuck it, it's not working the it's
not selling, it's not doing good. But as time go about,
like now, I feel like it's not even about that.
It's about just giving all you can give and leave

(24:52):
me on mark more than worrying out an album sale
or worrying about where you're laying at at the top
of about it, because I feel like everybody knows to
see you girls, Yes, everybody know the secrets. I feel like, no,
you you cemented in the books, right, yeah, it's like right,
So it's like, like, you know what I'm saying, even
like you did you did it. Yeah, I'm not saying
you don't have plenty of we have so much ready
to do. But I feel like you landed. We landed

(25:15):
our feet perfectly for us to keep going so and
people are rooting for you too. Do you feel that sometime?
Sometimes not all the time, but I feel like sometimes,
like for me personally, no, because like I used to
be such a free spirit when I first came out,
when we first came out, if you look back at
the videos, I used to be so funny, you talked

(25:37):
so much going live, and I had a personality out
of this world. But I feel like once I got
a jail, it was so many more people knew us
and like knew me and like to freak you out
a little bit, freaked me how It's like, why are
you posting that on these blogs and writing it is
caption when I don't even mean that, that's not That's
not what I mean at all. Like I'm just having

(25:57):
fun and you're taking my funny. You're making a I'm serious.
I'm not serious. I'm just I'm just really, But that's
what happens. They ruin you because they're ruined so many people.
Now they ruin everybody, everybody people. They're fun. I feel
like back and back before I was a celebrity, when
I used to see other celebrities blogs to do real work,

(26:20):
Like I'm gonna go I sign him, gonna cash this
person on the date, I'm gonna catch this person at dinner.
I'm gonna catch this person doing a crime and cash
this person. But now they're taking our content and making
it whatever they wanted to be. No, so you're taking
my story that I'm posting for my fans. Oops, look

(26:40):
like no, stop that it's whatever I sayd is. So
it's just like they're eating off of just stealing basically.
But I don't have nothing against that. I don't care,
but it's the truth. Like, so it's scared, it's frighten
is starting people. But I'm at a stage where it
is don't fright I feel like you're coming around on
the other side of that. Yeah, Like it's like, okay,

(27:01):
whatever however you want to splip it twisted. Everybody gotta
make any money. Same is a weird fucking thing, especially
in its day age. I feel like it's an illusion
now it's not even real no more. Like I feel
like back then, people have a better chance it's being
icons than we do now because you've got so many
people like beating us down, beating us to the punch,

(27:24):
mimicking us, and things become old fast. Yes, it becomes
so so fast. So it's like you gotta constantly reinvent
yourself and then you gotta be strong because you can't
get influenced by other people. Like some days I wake
up I want to be Instagram monel. Some days I
wake up I want to be a rapper. Some days

(27:46):
I wake up I want to be a model, some
days I to be an actual. It's like, girl, you're
a wrapper. Just do your job. But it's like so
much you see a day that it's like you have
to become strong minded enough to know what you came
here for, get it done, get it done, and be

(28:08):
great at that. And I feel like that's why what
I was lacking over these years. And it's somebody so
special to me who told me that? Who did that? No, no, no,
him too, but no, um it was a female and
she was wrapper and she she she's just got the
most toughest love ever, Like she'll take me some ship

(28:32):
and the moment, yeah, and you'll be like and then
you'll think about it like she's all right. Like you
came here for to to You got this talent, you
got this gift. You can write this down and not
many people can do this. So you need to come.
You need to do what you came to do, and
you need to go as hard as you can. You
can't think about outside of pins because that's my problem.

(28:55):
I'll let everything just get in my ear because I
think they're right for whatever reason, because it's like, if
you saw right, you will be on a different level.
You won't just be talking, You'll be getting to it.
So I feel like that's why I'm at right now
my career, just just getting to it, giving giving the
people what I'm here for, which is music, and be

(29:16):
unapologetically mean because I feel like if I shut up,
nobody had nothing to say about me. And that's kind
of sucked up because why would I Why do I
have to shut up? Why do you want to live
your life like that? Yeah? Why do I feel in
my life like that? Because I feel like the Internet
has painted painted me. The Internet has painted me is
like this angry black girl, like she always mad, she

(29:39):
always got attitude. And it's like that really bothers you
because you've said that to me even before we started.
That really bothers me because it's like y'all don't even
know me. And it's like I could be joking, I
could just be talking. I could just be having an opinion.
You could be defending yourself and defending myself. And I'm
the mad one. I'm the crazy and I'm the rule one,

(30:01):
like I'm the nasty one. It's like I never when
at anybody unprovoked, Nobody, nobody, like nobody can never pull
up any time where it was like I woke in
my past like yeah, in my past life. I'm talking
about in celebrity life, like in my new in my
new life and me being a dog, me being grown,

(30:23):
me learning my lessoning. I never went to nobody. I
never woke up and just started ship with nobody. I
always defend myself, which is at this point it's just
so irrelevant to them. Defending yourself against a stranger. It's
just stupid. It's so hard not to though. It's hard
not especially you when you talk about your history and
how you came up. You you. You got sixteen brothers

(30:46):
and sisters. You you fight like you fight you for you.
You're trying to find your own life, your path. You
hustling you from house to house. You got trauma, your
mom's dealing with addiction. You it's not you. You're not
trying to take your from anybody. Know. Then you go
to jail. Then you come out of jail, and you
defending yourself as fifteen for fifteen months in jail. Fifteen

(31:07):
months in jail, I had to defend myself because people
would say, Oh, she thinks she all that, or she
ain't nobody, or she ain't this, she ain't that, if
she was this, she was this, or she was so
I had to defend myself a fifteen months in them,
and then I had to get out and defend myself
again because people not understanding my situation. Then I had
to defend myself from people saying like, oh, she got

(31:28):
her face done, she got this done, she got this thing,
she got this, And I'm like, no, I fucking din
I got my teeth thing. And it's like I got
a good face beat. Yeah, I got a great face beat.
And I'm taking care of my skin. I'm taking care
of myself, babe. They're not gonna have that much time.
It's taking myself. I'm hustling. I'm I'm getting out the mud.
I'm not really worried. I don't even know too much
about beauty and glamour and all that. From where I'm from.

(31:50):
We just out here getting it. We're not running about
a face when we're not round about if I face
is beat. We run about getting to them folds and
getting our money and selling our ships. So I'm not
paying myself. It's this beautiful girl paying myself. It's this hustler.
But now that I got the time to relax, I
can pay myself. It's a beautiful girl. So now I
gotta defend myself. But you were saying I got my
nose done. You're saying I need you. Just you saying

(32:11):
do this. You're bringing up my mug shot, You're saying
that I'm ugly, ugly. It's you're saying it like I'm
just tired. So it's just like, of course I'm gonna
wake up every day defensive because I'm barely seeing good
things about myself. It's so crazy too, because I only
know you for this short period of time. Watching your

(32:32):
career and then having this little interaction we spoke the
other day on the phone and then today, and I
feel like the things about your character that stands out
to me not and I know you could be sassy.
I didn't see some of the videos and the tweets
and all of that ship, but like the way you
hold your your your friend down because you know they
try to. They'll compare you to Karsian. The way you

(32:53):
hold your stance next to that is admirable. The way
you came out of prison and got to your business
is admirable. The way you came from what you come
from and survived that, it's like admirable and you should
even like seeing you in your relationship. I think I'm like,
I see the soft side, like I see that you
are a kring person, you know what I'm saying, Like Karen, like,
I'm I'm so sweet, But then again, I do have

(33:17):
that defense side that that's just it comes from salt. Well,
what does that sweet side come from? Where do you
attribute that too? I think that it comes from like
not want to go back to where I used to be,
you know, like I would never want to go back there.
It's like a scariest thought, Like sometimes I get so scared,
I'm like, oh my god, what if I have to
go back there? But it's just come from there. It
comes from not want to go back so where I

(33:38):
used to be. Always want to see my people happy,
Like I never want to disappoint nobody that I love, Like,
if I love you, I don't want to disappoint you.
I don't want to make you feel sad. I don't
want to I don't want to do nothing like that
to you if I love you, you know. So that's
where my sweet side kind of come from. And then
I know I'm sometimes a bit, but my bit side
come from want to see the best out of my

(33:58):
people and don't want to to suck me up because
now that the time to say I'm getting sucked though,
But like I'm the one who getting sucked over every time,
and it's like, damn whit, you're sucking me up. I'm
just so even the fact even the way you talk
about like your mom, like you said you said earlier
when we're talking about young JT, that like your mom
was doing with drugs back then, and it was a
lot of times she wasn't there, No, she wasn't there

(34:20):
like ever, like for real now you have found like
you love. Yeah, but I'm working on that too, because
I still talk to her in any kind of way.
Is that from like basically it's basically like I'm talking
to her like I'm the mom you trying to say,
and sometimes I feel bad after I hang up what
you never said that? But it's like you and my

(34:42):
mom is so entitled and I don't even think it's
entitled me. I think it's more so overexcitement and my
my daughter got money and like everything that I went through,
my mom lives lives great because of me. And I
think it's just be over excitement like up and I
take it it's boasting and I don't like boasting. That's

(35:05):
my Peppie boasting. No, you don't really, No, I don't
know you talking for a living on records because that's
my job. That's my job. That's your job, you Cora
and other women. You know what I'm trying to say,
Like when I talk my ship, I popped my shape.
Come from me just popping my ship probably to react
to somebody. But I'm not gonna shoot. I'm not gonna

(35:25):
stand on the body for no reason, Like I'm not
waking for your mom. You don't think you don't think
you've got some of that from your mother. My mom
is like delustional, like she literally thinks that, Like I'm
like girl like she's like she'll go somewhere and she'll
order like so much. She didn't call my phone and
be like my daughter got it. And I'm like, like
where you get this attitude from because that's not me,

(35:47):
Like I'm so like, I'm so timmy. You know it's
areas because I know what it's not, what it's like
not to have ship. But if you piss me off,
I'm a sun or you. Like if you piss me off,
I'm a sun or you. But if you don't do
nothing to me, I'm just not I'm gonnag regular around
my friends. I'm gonna go around you with my sweats.
I'm going around my regular hair. I'm not every trying
to be like the biggest one or like treat nobody

(36:09):
like ship, because that's not where I come from. I
come from sixteen sisters and brothers. I come from living
with my cousins, you know, sharing clothes. I come from
like sleeping on the floor. I come from sharing everything.
So that's all I know is to share the space.
So I really don't know how to be the stand
out all the time you get I'm trying to say,
that's not my character because I'm so used to sharing space.

(36:32):
So probably why you're a good member of a group. Yeah,
Like I'm a good member of a group because I'm
not used to being a standout because I'm so used
to sharing, sharing everything. If you were only child, I
don't know if city girls would happen. I don't know
if city girls could be yeah no, no, no, no no.
But it's just like and if you feel like why
you don't do this? Why do you don't know that?
And I'm like, I'm just trying to figure it out.

(36:53):
Who taught you all these? Like because you know the
state your mom wasn't at that time, and he wasn't
with your dad, So who taught you all this? Like
forgiveness and hard work and loyalty and life. Life teach
you that your life is life will definitely teach you
like forgiveness, hard work, and like because if you don't record,

(37:13):
I wouldn't have nothing. If I don't work. Nobody wasn't
handing me ship like I was nobody's daughter in the house.
I was nobody's sister. I was just the friends. I
was living with my friends. I'm not. I'm not nobody's daughter,
nobody only ship. They'll do it because they feel sorry,
or they feel bad or they wanted to wait, I'm not.
That's not my mom. So I have to get up
and go to work and I have to bring something

(37:35):
to this household to be here. So that's that could
turn somebody angry, Like the fact that you forgive your
mom and you have this relationship with her now, I
don't know. It's just like how do you find Where
do you find that? Where does that come? It's like
a wow, It's like a wow. Um. At first, I
was just I still to this day getting my modes

(37:55):
and tell my mom, I don't owe your ship. I
get my modes. I would sell fast. I don't know
ship not have to remind her. Then I feel bad
because I feel like maybe her what she went through
was the reason I'm blessed. Oh get it? So I'm like,
maybe what my mom went through is the reason I'm
blessed because she just went through so much. She went

(38:17):
through a lot. My mom went through so much, I
don't even want to sell you. And I saw my
mom go through so much, and I saw my dad
paying my mom as the bad Like now that I'm old,
I'm like, my dad was really paying my mom as
a bad person, but she was just trying. But since
she couldn't be who he wanted her to be, he
would keep you away from me and your mom don't
want you. Like if I get to be in I'd
be like, I want my mama. Your mom, I don't

(38:39):
want you. So it's like my mom, I don't want me.
So then I'm growing up paying my mom because my
dad told me my mom and don't want me. When
did you find out she did want you? Girl? I
never you don't think so gift time without feeling like that.
I want to say, like me being older and me
seeing how seriou his life is, like I kind of

(39:01):
don't blame her. You know, life is hard, Like life
is hard even with the position I mean, and like
trying to beat addiction and raise the child. Imagine it
like I don't do drugs. I smoke, but hard drugs.
I can never do the hard drugs. Well, I knock
on wood. You can't because if I do hard. I
felt my family, my whole family is a victim. My

(39:24):
whole mom's out of family, and my dad too. My
dad used to sell it into it. So I feel
like if I do it, I'll fall so flat on
my face so hard. Drugs it's just something I don't do.
And I just started smoking me when I got out
of jail, like just to be cool. And I was like,
it's a little but it ain't nothing I need every day.
I ain't rolling that ship up every day, but I

(39:45):
do it sometimes just be like meditate, but it ain't
too right, not right now, right now? He's drug really Yeah,
is he different that he looks? Great man? I love
the way you talk about Yeah, he's a great man.
He's a great I can say Oozy is a great
man no matter how the Internet tries to paint us,

(40:07):
because he's so artist artist, he's so like yeah, he's
so much like he gotta work every night, he has
work right now like me, I'm sleep I'm sleeping all
the time. But I'm so lucky and fortunate to have
somebody like him because he's so inspiring like he he
no matter what he's going through, he's going to write
like you know, like and that's so when I see

(40:30):
him in his bag, I'll be like, I gotta get
in my bag because this nigga isn't his bag. He's
not giving up. He comes back to him every time.
So what a nice thing to say about your partner.
He's a great man, Like he's a great great man.
That must be so nice for him to hear that.
You don't hear that every day. Okay, no, you can't
tell him every day. You don't hear that every day now,

(40:52):
but here majority but he's emotional with you, even publicly.
He has shown affection publicly. Yeah, yes, he's the way.
Um he's actually kind of shy. So I think people
take him as being like scrape faced, is mean, but
he's just like I'm just over the top, like yeah, yeah,

(41:12):
he's like like putting me on spot. Like so he's
like so he's a great man. Like he's a great guy.
Do you know how I mean? Just if we look
at like statistics coming from the household you came from,
the households you came from, you would be living in
the house and what seems to be for you a healthy,

(41:33):
happy relationship, um with somebody that you say it is
a great man. Do you know statistically that that's like
impossible almost and and and that's why I kind of
like me, I don't. I don't want to date no
one of like what I've seen in my whole life,
Like I don't. I've been a prison, I'm a gangster,
I'm a thug, So I don't have to date that

(41:55):
because I'm already yet. And who say he's not that
because he'd be chilling you. But I don't have to
paint the never, so I don't have to be that
girl like to date what people want me to date
because they feel like that fits me, because they obviously
don't fit me because I'm being a done it. I've
been a done it myself, like I did the whole prison, judge,

(42:19):
police car. I don't need any who did that because
I did it, So I don't need to be looking
up to know me. I didn't even I didn't even
mean like that that you should be with somebody like that.
I mean just relationships are hard in general to people
because you live together people in the house. It's so hard.
It's hard. Yeah, I'll be a liar if I say
it's not hard, because some days when I'm having a
bad day or I feel like I'm not where I

(42:41):
need to be. I kind of feel like I bring
that energy in the house and I'm such a I'm
not gonna say a bit, but I'm so hard on myself.
And when somebody care about you, they don't want to
see being like that on yourself, so they're trying to
fix it for you, and you're trying to tell them
it's not about you. Hate when they do that, it's
about me, but it's nice they mean, well, you mean well,

(43:03):
but it's about me. I'm trying to fix myself. And
then he gets frustrated about it because it's like, am
I not doing something right? You know what I'm trying
to say? Am I not doing something right? And I'm like,
you're doing everything right. I'm not doing something right. You're
I'm trying to say, I'm not doing what I'm supposed
to do, and I don't want to at the end
of the day when it all falls down, I don't
want to let you down because it's it's all funny
games now, but in the future, I always want to

(43:26):
be his rather have people paying it as I'm a
city girl and all that. I always want to be
his fifty fifty Like, if he ever need me, I
want to be that girl to catch him. So, yeah're
so cute. People don't know you're like us. They don't,
but you're so likable. I am so likable. But I

(43:48):
don't give a thing like me. You're right, Oh that's
a good Instagram mean it says, um, be a good person,
but don't waste any time trying to prove it to anybody. Yeah,
but I feel like now now, At first, I would
say I don't care if nobody like me. I don't care.
I don't care. I don't care with me. But I
feel like, like even when I'm like my little mental

(44:10):
breaks because I take mental breaks of life and I
need to see a therapist. I've been working on getting
a therapist because I need a therapist because I'm cool,
but we are not trauma. You might have some trauma anxiety.
And I say, you know, there's so many little girls
write me girls not little girls, women, girls, teenagers, people

(44:31):
that's older than me, right me, and who feel like
they look like me. They've been through what I've been through,
and I feel like it's my responsibility to be a
good person for them, you know. So it's like this year,
I just want to be who I am, Like I'm
a good person. I don't want nobody to keep thinking
I'm a bitch or I'm a bad person. And I
just feel like I'm really misunderstood and I never trying
to explain myself, and when I do try to explain myself,

(44:54):
they don't believe me anyway. So I just be like,
I don't care. But you do feel that responsibility and
responsibility as a as a black woman, as a like
a rapper, as the everything. I feel like I don't
want to paint their narrative, paint the narrative of just
being ignorant. Hmm. I think that's the way you do it,

(45:18):
but it doesn't. It doesn't have to be you proven
or over explaining that you're a good person. But I
think you constantly becoming the best person. Yeah, I just
want to be this year like I want to be
the best person I could be out looued, Like I
feel like I'm a I'm a great person behind closed doors,
but I want to be the best person I could

(45:38):
be allowed but like the people that believe in me,
the people who don't like you know, and I feel
like I've been through what the normal girl's been through,
and then some in being some I look like the
normal girl. So it's my responsibility to be a good person,
allowed to let them know the it's cool to be
a good person. Why do you think you need therapy?
Like what specifically? I need therapy because the way I

(46:00):
react to things, the way I think of things, the
way I respond um, the way I feel like what
like anxious, like angry anxiety, or like I know something
bad it's about to happen. I just trauma. Like I
it's nothing good can happen without me thinking something bad

(46:22):
it's gonna happen. And it's so true, something bad, it's
going to happen in my life every time something good happens.
So it's just like that's not necessarily true. It feel
like it. It feels like it's so um. I think
therapy will help you get some of that. It's even
like if I'll just share something to like so I

(46:44):
had to do. I had some PTSD from a situation
I was in and I always felt like even it
was for me driving right, So I had a bad
car accident. I could never drive. I would get in
the car my hands with shake like this, and the
therapist told me, like it's okay, Like you're gonna drive
like this in six months, you're gonna feel a little better.
Six months more than that, you're gonna feel a little better.
And you have to learn how to be in the
president and remind yourself you're okay. And that she taught

(47:07):
me how to deal with my trauma, which was that,
I mean, your trauma is a different type of trauma,
but it can be it can be dealt with like
you can you're and you can be feel safe sometimes exactly.
And I feel like my past trauma if affects so
much around me, my relationship get like I live in
a house with I man, right, and I feel like

(47:29):
I'm not domesticated because I didn't have time to be
domesticated because who taught you how to told me how
to be investicated? Who even told you how to be
in a relationship, right, So it's just like I'm trying
to figure this out every day, and I don't want
you to think you're not doing your job because I'm
not domesticated. I'm trying to figure myself out. So we
just too young artists in a house with each other,

(47:51):
trying to figure each other out there I can only
imagine the conversation. So it's just like he's trying to
sit down and counsel me, and I'm like going across
at it, like I don't I just want to be
you know more, And he always reassured me that, like
it's not about who you are. I just love you
for you getting So it's just like, no, I can't

(48:11):
let you down. Like what do you think he saw
in you? Because he saw something that he came Like
to this day, I don't not know what he's sawing
me because it's just like me just like coming from
where I come from, going through what I went through,
I don't know what made me so deserving of somebody
so good. That's so sweet. So I just still to

(48:36):
this day a little bit get a little feisty about there,
like what you want and wet that we don't be
together for years, and it's like what you want you
don't trust that you feeling, not him, But I don't
trust them the feeling. But it's okay, it's just me,
me and therapy. I need to take therapy. I'm birdie now,
like I'm grown, like I'm a big I got. I

(48:56):
got to my big age, and I'm still I'm not domesticated.
So it's like they're not insecure about that. Like I'm
not in the kitchen cookie, I'm not cleaning up. We
are cleaners. He cook, you know what I'm saying. And
I'm like, oh my god, like he sticking watch the dishes.
But now I'm in the room watching watching Martin because
I know the cleaning lady coming to my room. So
do other work. It's okay. Yeah, I'm like, damn, like

(49:17):
I'm not mesisquated. I'm not doing my job, and I
just I get mad about that. What did you love
about him? What was it? What did you seeing him?
His swag, his swag, his individuality, like how nice he
was ending how much you can still be like a
player too, um the challenge, Like just everything about him

(49:37):
was cool as book. Like I was like, damn, I
thought you was just like weird to say, hell, you
go our holes. So it was just like it was
cute just exploring him and getting to know him as
a person or who he really was, and not see
him out of the surface like I was just like
everybody else in the rood, like looking at him as
like this crazy wow, this person, but he's not like that,
and it was just like me being able to know

(49:58):
him on the one on one. It's really it. Like
you call him your best friends. Yeah, that's my best
that's my dog. Like even when we're in a relationship,
like not in a relationship, because we always in relationship.
We live in the same house, like I know the
blogs are trying to put it together, like even when
y'all put it together, like were in the same house
rather whatever, we're in the same house. So we we're
best friends and we gotta make it work either way go.

(50:19):
We don't have to make it, but we choose make
it because we don't have kids and we're not married
or nothing, so I know that it's genuine because it's
like for what else because making kids. I saw you
say this on Coreation's podcast that you you don't want
kids now because you want to enjoy your love like you,
which is so smart, and people make that mistake my love,
I don't. I get angry and like I'm very angry.

(50:41):
I'm very impulsive. Um girl, I could be like you
can step left and I'll be like it's over, Like
you know, like um and he could be the same way.
And I don't want to put my baby in it.
You're gonna be trying to say, like, I feel like
we can always work it out. I just want to mature,
grow together kid where it's exactly where we want to
be in our career, and then we can just bring

(51:02):
a baby in it. It It could just be beautiful. I
don't want us to be figuring it out and figuring
each other out. I love that you're so open to
figuring being a better version. And yeah, I want to
be a perfect mom. I didn't have a perfect mom,
so my my spear is not being a perfect mom,
like I want to be there. I want to be
a perfect my mom on Nanny, I want everything Like
I want my baby in the backstage on my show.

(51:23):
I don't want to never leave my baby behind. So
before I have a baby, I have to make sure
this ship is figured out. Like at that he was
there for you too, and the transition right you can
half a house halfway house, was that your first date
was in the halfway house? Right that? It was kind
of first day he took me to the mall and
took me to like Taco Bell. It was like I
was still in the halfway house and it was so funny, like,

(51:44):
oh my god, a service. I can't believe a city
girl went to Taco Bell for her first Like what
what is that about? But he gave me money. He
gave money first. He gave me money on my first
date because I think he was thinking of me like
a city girl. But he always laughed at me to
this day. But he likes it though, right, he likes
He's like the thrill of it. He liked the I

(52:04):
mean he likes it. I feel like the same reason
he get annoyed with me is the same reason he
loved me so much. Like I would say something words
and he was like what you just said? Said again?
And I'd be like what because we pronounced things so
differently because he from the North and I'm from the South.
So it's just so like like what you're talking to
property girl? You're talking so good though, And were just

(52:25):
in a house together, just opposite and we're going at
it because I'm like Miami to Si. He like feeling
the ship and I'm like, no, Miami, the ship like
feel he ain't got no beaches and it's so motherucking
close together. Then he like, Miami is cold and it's cold,
and that's why I'm in New York and I'm just
mad it's so cold. He I'm sorry. I should have
went to my Why don't we do this in Miami?
We should have because I was in Miami for a

(52:48):
couple of days. I would love to see Miami through
the eyes of JT Oh my god, what is that like?
What is that like? If I went to Miami hung
out with you and say, what are we looking at?
Or you even you're in Miami right, no, no, no, no, you'
by Coho school. But I'm l A. You're in l
A right, I'm l A for the sun New York
for his um whatever. But l tell me because it's

(53:09):
the sun. But I don't think I'll move back. Somebody traumatized.
Maybe after some therapy. Maybe let's see what therapy do
we're gonna try. I'm definitely trying therapy. I'm in it
works again, my therapy together because I need it because
I'm just like a wire. Yeah, but I already could
see it's like you at least know some people don't

(53:30):
even want to do to work. Some people just happy
having all the triggers and all the trauma and all
the ship that they do, and that's just who that
who I am, and then they live their life like that.
The fact that you're even like open to it, open
to it and just looking at all the things that
you want to be better about is you're on your way.
I'm gonna be I'm gonna I'm gonna be fine. But

(53:51):
I just love it. By the way, what you went through,
you it warrants trauma like it's not. It wasn't just
the regular situation. Even everybody ship. Okay, I'm gonna say this,
everybody deal with trauma different. Some people get trauma and
want to work hard. Some people get trauma and want
to close off. Some people get trauma and want to disappear.
You know, Like it's different ways you deal with trauma.

(54:13):
I feel like my the way I did with trauma
is just not dealing with it because I deal with
it so long. I dealt with it so long, and
I feel like like I'm in such a great position.
Why am I dealing with trauma? So now I'm not
dealing with it. But I need to stop being afraid
of conflict of anything. I need to stop being afraid
of conflict with my music, with my business, with my shows,

(54:33):
my fans. What are you afraid of? Though? What do
you think that? I just don't want to hear ship.
I don't hear it because you're afraid of what you make,
how you, however react you get trying to say, I'm
not afraid of y'all, I'm afraid of how I'm gonna
react to the situation. I don't want to react to
the situation. It's how to look like a bad person.
So I'm much to shut up. No, don't do that,
because you're not a bad person. I love what you

(54:53):
said about living out loud, being yourself and being just
being that a good person out out. That's I mean.
I love that. I just need to live out out.
I feel like I had myself a lot because I
don't want to be looked at as a bad person,
and I feel like they are people always waiting on
me to be a bad person, even if even the

(55:14):
way I talk it so strong and so demanding. Night
that's the segenary reason to me. But I'm so demanding.
I know what I want. I know I want my eyebrows,
I know I want my hair, I know I want
my outfit and I'm not a puppet. So when you're
not a puppet, you get called difficult, get called hard
to write with, hard to deal with. But I'm just
not a puppet and crucial deal with that as much

(55:35):
or not as much as you write. I don't know.
I don't I want to know. Like something I remember.
I could say this though. I remember when we first
came out, Um, she would do something and if you
get on the phone and say I did it, and
I'm like, that wasn't even me, and I'd be like,
what the funk? That wasn't even me, Like it it
was just like j T did he. J C said it,

(55:58):
And I'm like, come on that, bro, that was not me.
If I said that, I said it, and you would
know I said it because I don't have like I don't.
I don't. I ain't tucking no action. I'm straightforward, my ship.
I'm gonna tell you right in your face, like I'm
not waiting it to late. I'm not whispering, I'm not
telling nobody else. I'm gonna sell you. So you would
have wanted to tell on my ass right there and
there if I said it, because I'm gonna say it
right and there but they oh, my god was so

(56:20):
bad at first, and then I was like, god, damn,
Like you know so no, I would like they would
be like j T jay Z is the problem jay
z is. But I'm like, I didn't even say ship.
I didn't even do ship. If I did say something,
I'm saying it because you need to be fixed now,
and I don't want a lot of people don't want
to hear what's right. A lot of stylists, a lot

(56:42):
of hair dresses, a lot of makeup artists. They feel
like they're already say in their tones. So if you
tell them, like you're not doing this right, you're difficult
right in and there because they think they're perfect and
you're not. Nobody's rfect. You're sucking me up. And also,
you get to a point in your life you know
what you're like, you know what works for you. You You
shouldn't compromise that. But I do love it is nice
to see and I've heard you say, I've heard both

(57:03):
of you say this that you guys really trying to
ride this out. Like there's no solo projects. There's no
I mean, Lord willing right, but there's no breakups. No no, no, no, no,
I feel like we at a stage we're grown. We
started this ship. We wasn't that young, but we were
young and it was all new to us. And I
feel like we had a stage in our life where

(57:23):
we kind of figured it out and we figure we
are figuring out that we are powerful together and we
are powerful with separate, so we can make money both ways.
You should get we're trying to say. So it's I
think that's where it's aid right now, Like, Okay, you
are individual, which you can also be a group. And
it's not that nobody thinks like you know, like no,

(57:44):
because I I hear it a lie and I see
it a line and I'll be like, yo, I'm straight,
I'm good. I was gonna ask you how you do that?
How you block out? Because this is so you know,
it's always comparison. It's always um, it's always going to
be comparison. But they gotta understand we live was totally
it for life. I don't have kids, you know, I'm
trying to say, I don't have to go. It's hard,
Like I I I'm straight, I'm good, I'm more than good.

(58:08):
So it's like when I feel like it, I do,
and when I don't feel like it. I don't. It's
just heard you like, I don't feel like nobody. I
feel like as a woman, I want to live a
life that I want to live, not when nobody else
think I should live like nobody should want to see
me work like a slave, work like a dog. It
was so impressive to me. I heard you say this too,

(58:29):
and I was like, damn, I literally it took me
my whole life to get to here where you at
a point where you're like because you said, I just
want to do my job, make my money, do the
things I want to do it, and then go home
and have like this balanced life because and at your age,
I didn't. It didn't even occur to me that I
needed that for myself. But this ship, for sure, Like
it's like, okay, do what you gotta get it while

(58:52):
you're here. So you're going back outside, back outside, sure,
because you gotta get it while you're here. Now, I
don't get it confused. You gotta get it while you're here.
But I'm thankful and I'm able to take breaks. You're
gonna trying to say because I don't have as much responsibility.
So like this year is definitely a City Girls year.
Are you enjoying it the ride? Yeah, I'm enjoying around

(59:12):
I can. I can kind of trust that outside is open.
We probably don't have no hopefully we don't have no cobe,
no monkey pards know nothing. To come up as an
artist is tricky because anything can put us back inside,
anything to cancel our festivals, anything cance to our show.
So it's hard to like be comfortable and what we
do because we never know what's going to cancel what

(59:32):
we're doing. So it's like I'm understanding. I can get
it in other ways. You know. I so want to
interview you again after you start doing therapy, oh for sure,
because I'm so interested in what comes up for you. Yeah,
I'm so excited about therapy because I'm telling you, like,
I'm so tired of the angry black girl um being
narrative being projected on all of us. I feel like

(59:55):
all of us, even like television, I feel like that's
the sale of black worls drama, fighting, kicking, cousin, screaming.
When I was in prison, when I want to watch luxury,
like when I wanted to feel luxury or like a vacation,
I watched the Kardashians. Yeah, because like I'm watching the

(01:00:16):
show and it's just like they living their best life.
So when you watch those shows in jail, yeah, jail jail.
I watched the House fines, I watched the Kardashians, watched
all of like tim Z, I watched all of ward shows.
I watched basketball. This is what you did inside? This
was the daily life TMZ, especially because I want to
know what's going on they already have nothing Like were
you tested inside ever? Like did you have to like

(01:00:38):
physically fighting there? Girl? Yeah? But not really because like
I feel like, like I said, I left prison with
a pimple, not a scratch, Like once they knew I
didn't play that ship, Like I do not play that ship.
But how do you how do you How do they
know you don't play that ship? Because they know because
they knew, Like I was so quiet at first, like
my first thing since I was so quiet and I

(01:00:59):
got were like you know, like because they were they
were messing me and pick on me and trying to
be like nosy about my life and be like Okay,
it's not her. That is her, that is and that's
not her. Because then when I first got to jail.
My house was shortest fok. I was bad hed to
ship like I was ball heads funk. When I first
went to jail, it didn he groom got longer. I
was able to take my praser pictious. But you know,

(01:01:20):
people in jail, they haven't been in jail for the
longest time, so their idea of a celebrity was something
totally different. So they will mess with me, mess when
me mess with me, and I was not I'm not
that friendly. I wasn't that friendly, and they wanted to
know more about me, and I wouldn't tell them, so
I would be quite as helle and then they just
get offended by that me just not telling my business.
I got got my lettle click together and it was

(01:01:42):
going down, and I went to the hall two times. Yeah,
for officer going through my locker and I tapped to
her shoulder. I saw to get up, get the funk
out of my locker, and then she tried to put
me in the hall that day, but it was you know, proof,
And then I got in trouble the next day for

(01:02:02):
the same officer because she tricked. And then the second
time I went to the hall, it was because two
people had a fight I was coaching it, and she
got mad and said on your behalf. No, she won't
fight on my behalf. But I was coaching her because
I didn't like the other girl. And she hit the
locker and she cut herself on the locker, and she

(01:02:23):
said I cut her. So they put me in the
whole like investigation, like no, like no really getting out
because she was saying I cut her. Out of everybody
that was watching the fight, she said, I cut and
I was sucking out home. But I got out like
a week later. How long. That's not a little thing, baby,
It was, It wasn't. It was like me. A lot

(01:02:44):
of people went, my whole, My bunky went um which
you are used to call my prison mom, and like
everybody who was standing around the fight, we all went.
But it was she was trying to stick me because
she feel like I was a celebrity, Like she was
trying to stick me. But it didn't stick because it
didn't make no sense because everybody's story ended up. It
was like fail on the locker, You lost the fight
and you fell on locker. You're trying to blame me
for you. You get your ass. Then you have to

(01:03:04):
see her when you get out the whole? Is it
like confrontation? She never got out the whole because she lied.
She got a trouble for line, So I got out
where she got in trouble for line. Some days we're
gonna be crying because we were like, we really like
a person to come yell at the thing, like y'all
ain't getting out. They said yousted down to everybody ran
cop out some on y'all. I'm like, oh my god,
I'm not getting out of and I need my little
bit of minutes to call like peeing, like oh I'm

(01:03:26):
in the hole. And it was like it's super Bowl
or some ship super Bowl party. He was throwing these
crazy super Bowl party, said something, and I was like
in trouble all the time. But who was throwing QC
was going crazy super Bowl parties? Like you in the hole.
I wasn't home. You have any fears ever going back? No, God,
jail is not telling Mary. Going up jail isn't telling Mary.

(01:03:47):
They don't there. It's no rules to going to jail.
You get in trouble for anything. But I don't have
a plane on going back. I don't want to go back,
and I don't want to influence, nobody took a back. God,
it's so much more to life than to be locked
up in prison. I've seen so many younger as and
there for boys scan me drugs, not telling their girlfriend,
end up have to get a girlfriend because their boyfriend
and left them. But that's not like a trauma of

(01:04:07):
for you, like a fear, Like you're not walking around
scared that you can. I'm not nothing wrong to go
to jail now. I'm just trying to get my money,
live my life, be happy. And that's just m What
what do you what do you still want to do?
Like what's the future? What's your future look like? My
future looked like giving back, influencing the right crowd of people,

(01:04:29):
touching the right person um, elevating like right before people eyes,
being bold, being free via like relaxed in his industry.
You know that you're in the industry now, like here's
no it's no pick and choose what you can do.
Because I feel like today I'm being reguless some my

(01:04:50):
own being a star. But now you will start every
day and you can't be afraid of being a star.
What about city girls? What what does the future city
girls look like? Hopefully I mean, hopefully, um, the future
of the city girls can beat the city girls. And
I pray that our egos does not like separate it

(01:05:14):
or the internet or guys or like nothing. You're trying
to say, like nothing, I hope do you worry? Worry
a little bit. Sometimes sometimes I be on my ship,
sometimes she'd be on her ship. You know, like you're human,
We're human, we're women. We're not girls, we're women. Like
sometimes I want to be with my me. So it's

(01:05:35):
just like sometimes you want to be women. And I
hope that that's not what be the reason or interfere.
Interfere a group is hard, man because it's like a relationship.
It's like being in a relationship but marriage. If you
look at the history of hip hop, the amount of
groups that have managed to stay together the whole way
through this percentage is low. So I don't know one,

(01:05:59):
I don't know other locks, and they're still together. They're
still together since backt them. But what I'm saying is,
but they have done solo projects, right, right, You're absolutely right,
That's what I'm getting. Okay, they haven't beefed and broken up.
Because a lot of a lot of people were talking
about beefing. I definitely don't. I do not see beefing
and breaking up in the city girls at all, like

(01:06:19):
ever ever, Like like that's just stupid, Like it's just
like for real, it's a no, yeah, beefing breaking up
hell now like beefing but doing separate things. But I
just yeah, doing so much separate things at the point
and be like Okay, I gotta gotta do this, I
gotta do this. We can't do this, And that's just
like it. But so that's what you hope you don't. Yeah,

(01:06:41):
I hope we don't get too busy to the point
it's like even being here, like it's like like, oh
my god, I'm gonna you feel weird that she's not here.
We've had her here, she told got her own podcast.
Yeah she talks. Also, Yes, she has a platform where
where people get to know her more and more all
the time. And I don't. And you're not. You were
there on one episode, but like I don't feel like

(01:07:02):
we get to know you at that level. I don't
want to beach to get to know me. I'm just like, no,
I'm just saying I'm joking off. But it's not that.
It's just the principle of like the time we live
in and then it could be all good one day
they didn't get just get all bad off of the
same thing, Like you can be here talking making people
laugh in it tomorrow the same thing they made a

(01:07:22):
person that could be the reason they's so mad that
you they don't want to see your success no more so,
do you have to ever check yourself? Like, because you
talked about your ego and this is the thing that
comes up on the podcast a lot. It's about ego
and how sometimes that sucks us up in a lot
of different ways. And you said you hope that ego
doesn't get into that for you to like split you up.
Do you ever have to check yourself for Like, of

(01:07:44):
course I feel like um as an adult, like talking
if I feel some type of way, or if she like,
if I feel some type of way, I know that
I'm just like my personality is so strong that I
would never want to say the wrong thing turn so
I'm blocked, Like before I say the dude, something is

(01:08:06):
not we can't come in from like I'm not gonna
do that, but anybody else I do that you just
hold it in for her. I don't hold it am
just block. I just had my block. What it block?
The number you block her or until you're over it.
I don't know if that's healthy. I don't know if
that's healthy. And I think that's a coping mechanism, but

(01:08:26):
I don't know if it's healthy healthy it is. Did
she know you blocked her? One time? She was like
she didn't know because she was taxing me, but she
probably kind of figured it out. I'm trying that with
somebody who gets some one nerves. I'm just gonna block
Them'm just gonna block you just so I don't say
nothing crazy to you. But we won't say nothing crazy
because we don't need to be talking crazy. And then

(01:08:47):
what do you do. I'm blocked when when you're over it,
I'm block when I'm ready to talk about it like normal,
without yelling, without cursing, without saying the wrong thing, because
they don't have to calm down and probably say me
like two weeks and then like okay, I'm ready to
talk about it. So what was that? But after therapy,
you're gonna get better at that. Yeah, I can't wait
to start therapy, Like therapy is on my list to do.

(01:09:10):
Like I'm not leaving this industry without therapy. I know
that I'm gonna be a better woman when I take therapy.
Black people, we need to get therapy. At first, I
used to think if I take therapy, am I crazy? No,
you're not crazy. You're crazy to not to need it
and not do it. Yeah, I need it. I need
it bad. I don't been through so much. I'm still
going through stuff. But are you probably yourself and how

(01:09:30):
how you're managing through it? Yeah, I'm proud of myself
some days. Some days I beat myself up on my
own worst enemy. I beat myself down, down, down to
the ground, from from every aspect. I just wake up
beating myself down. And I'm tired of it. Like I
don't want to keep waking up beating myself down. I'm
so beautiful, like I'm all that. It's like, girl, be

(01:09:55):
all that. Why you gotta wake up this morning and
tell yourself you know all that? You all that? Like,
just be all that. Don't be scared to you all that.
Don't worry about if something bad it's about to happen,
just be all that today. If it's something man happens tomorrow,
you deal with that tomorrow. Don't deal with that today.
Just be all that today. Do not be afraid to
be all that today. In real life, what do you
pray for? What do you ask God? Foremost health, success, wealth, um, patience, patience, patience,

(01:10:23):
Please God please for you to in that a little
temper of yours. Yeah, those are the things I pray for.
Health is one of the man to stay healthy. Do
your fear of something? I don't. I don't even try
to think about it, but just being healthy, health as wealth.
As you get older, you will you realize how important

(01:10:45):
health is over money. Yeah, in real life, how important
is money to you? M hm? The city girl answer
both both? Um okay the city of your answer and
money is everything? Okay my answer. It's cool. Really, it's
cool because I don't receive items and I still we

(01:11:07):
just so like one more. M So. I think that
it is to anything like being inner, like you're inner peace,
your inner happiness, your inner everything. I feel like everything
we get on this theory is to a press others. Yeah,
we wanted to, but we know that when we post

(01:11:28):
this thing, somebody else's swear to call up about it,
not even you. M m. So it's for other people. Yeah,
I feel like this day and age me, I'm not
exempting myself. We are like we are being taught to
live for other people. We are being taught to live
for comments likes No, like like the Vets in the game.

(01:11:55):
We don't even know what they drive. Yeah, the Vets,
So we don't know what they're I always say, I
don't know where the fun Rihanna drive. I don't know
what Beyonce drive. She's a driver, I'm sure, but she
might drive sometimes. Yeah, I'm saying I don't know what
car she happened. Yeah, like you know. Then Nikki she
her interview and she said, you're not coming to my

(01:12:16):
house and seeing all these cars you're gonna I'm saving
my winning. So it's like the beds are very smart,
and I feel like the newbies were living for the
like we living fast. The posts are fast, the blog
the blogs are racing us so fast because you got
this for thirty minutes, and the next minutes about somebody else,

(01:12:37):
and next minutes about somebody's name. Let me have my day.
You're gonna talk about me. Let this baby about me,
no nobody else on my motherfucking day. If you want me,
if you for the roast me. I want to be
roasted these full twenty more hours. Don't know no other
bitch on my day, and they're just racing up so fast,
they're racing us so fast, like so they really matters, right,

(01:13:01):
what really matters nothing? Because if you even try to
shrink my mind to think my nigga doing something wrong,
I can't even be mad if that that long, because
you for the upload, pithy other things. It's going all
right here. That that be that day that I get
on his ass, Okay, you let No. I don't let
the Internet in my relationship at all, Like I do

(01:13:22):
not like one thing about me. I don't let the
internet getting my relationship at all. If I feel some
type of way, I feel some type of way, but
the Internet no, because I know him like I live
with him. I'm going to bathroom. I don't know you.
You got lots on the bathroom door. I'm not gonna
just open it up. Some people do open open door relationships.
Give me my privacy. I'm giving you a propacy. I'm
not gonna Do you have your separate bathroom? Do you

(01:13:43):
have your own bathroom? You share a bathroom? Two sinks though,
I'm sure big ones, big ones as you should Uh okay,
just too bar in real life? In real life, what
is the best decision you've ever made? Mm hmmm. And

(01:14:03):
I have the best decision I ever made. What's going
to the studio and putting out this all? M hmm.
Not being afraid? That's what I gotta do now. I
wasn't afraid then. I was not scared. I was me.
I was so bold. I just knew they was gonna
work with it. That was the best decision I made.

(01:14:24):
That might be your superpower is that you're not afraid.
Is that you're bold and you're not afraid. I wasn't bold.
I wasn't afraid. I'm kind of afraid now. No, but
you're coming around on the other side. Yeah, I'm coming
around this. I'm not afraid. Good for you, baby. What
do you hope like from your real life take take

(01:14:44):
city girls out? Take you don't have to take city
girls out, but from your life, from your real life,
what do you hope that people learn from you or
take away from your life? Perseverance that like nobody, what
you go through, no matter what you came from, no
matter what you look like, you can always become like bigger, better, prettier, smarter, stronger,

(01:15:09):
like yeah, because everybody love her as much as I
love her. Thank you, You're so good. I love this
podcast like That's why I wanted to be here. And
I'm gonna be honest with you and give you your flowers.
I love that you're giving women platform. I know that
you give men platform to I love that you give
me women platform to speed, to be, you know, to

(01:15:32):
be looked at. It's more intact, intelligent, human human real,
not you're not. You're not making us look crazy elevating.
You're making us look beautiful. You known us talk. I
love this podcast like, this is something I wanted to do,
to be clear, because I don't want to do ship.

(01:15:55):
I want to do this. It made me so happy
because I felt like you you know you when you
do these like this is something I just you know,
I'm only on This is like episode I don't thirteen
this year. I did this and and so you created,
But you don't know who's listening or who's who you know.
I can see the comments in people, but sometimes when
I meet people who who actually listen and watch the episodes,
and it's really nice to hear that. So good as

(01:16:18):
I was about. I'm like, I want people to see
me as mature, smart you. Yeah, but I almost I
feel like so much my intros is I'm about to
suck this dick to get this cash. That people got
me fucked up and re specing. It's not a beautiful, black, strong,

(01:16:38):
smart woman. So I'm like, I need to put that
for this year, like to know people. You want people
to get to know you a bigger, real, realer level.
I'm so happy you chose here. Thank you, baby,

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Angie Martinez

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