April 15, 2025 • 53 mins
Kurt and Scotty talk about a snake found in Ireland for first time ever, a 58 hour kiss, the CIA found the arch of the covenant using psychics and scientists invent a sensor that can mend bones in weeks!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
He's got it. Kurtie, b.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
Are you ready, I'm ready to laugh and laugh and low.
That's what I'm talking about here.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
It is.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Snake found in Ireland for first time ever as fisherman
stumbles upon strange whistling serpent.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
I did not know that that was possible. Let's sink
her fangs into a very wonderful new episode of Bananas.
Speaker 3 (00:33):
World. Understand would resilient pieces?
Speaker 1 (00:43):
Would you?
Speaker 2 (00:55):
Guys, gals, non binary pals. Welcome to the Bananas Podcast.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
I'm that is Kurt, and I'm Scottie and I'm a
Nana Boy number two. And this is a strange news
podcast with storytelling and today we don't have a guest.
It's just the original, often mimicked, never replicated Banana Boys.
Speaker 2 (01:17):
Scotty took Lourene and I out to dinner last night
like a true gentleman. He whined and dined.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
Us Houston's in Pasadena, only the best for my best friends.
It's just the most hilariously easy experience and the food
is very good. Of all the chains, houston has risen
to the top for me.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
It really is. I was exclaiming multiple times that like
everything about it is like just right it's just right.
And also that was my sixty ninth day of not drinking.
I'm now on day seventy. Onward and onward and forward
(02:02):
and forward and above above. Yeah, yeah, there it is upwards.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
Well that's good. Congratulations you dry sixty nine, and congratulations
all the bin animals who have I'm still sending so
many bumper stickers. It's actually it's incredible. I think the
count now is around two thirty. I went back through
and counted the number of times I bought batches of twenty. Yeah,
and now we're using sticker bowl and they're really good.
That's bu lll. They are bin animals. Oh, so you
(02:31):
and I had a great show in Phoenix over the weekend.
Great ban animals came out, so fun to meet everybody. Yes,
daytime shows are fun. I had a great time wrapping
it up at four thirty, doing photos with everybody for
another forty five minutes, and then the sun was still shining.
It was a miracle.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
By the time we finished dinner, the sun was still shining. True,
it really was. It was great, And of course everyone
remembered that April is the blood. The bananas blood Bonanza
started today. It started today today. We're recording on April first,
so please go get the Red Core American Red Cross app.
(03:11):
It's called Blood Donor, Blood Donor. It's very bold name
Bud blood Donor, and you can go. You join the
Bananimals team and sign up to donate blood in the
month of April. Let's see what we Let's see who
we can beat.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
We're currently in one one hundred and sixty sixth place
out of seventy thousand teams, so we're doing great. We
have two hundred and forty eight team members on the
Bananamals team. I love it. And we are above let's see.
It's funny it says impact. We're above the New York
Giants football team, so they can kiss our butts. Yeah,
(03:47):
we're above university. It'sledo, Georgia Southern University. But we're just
below CrossFit and North Platte, Nebraska. So we're coming for you,
you former addicts now crossfitter who would need the thrill
of a needle in their arm every now and then
just to feel so alive. Congratulations to everybody that joined us,
(04:10):
and that numbers should jump because this is early in
the day on April first, so we should be in
the top one fifty pretty soon.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
I'm pretty excited. And also, Chicago, it's official.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
Okay, it's official there, it is.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
It's official. We are coming to you at the Den
Theater May eighth. That's a Thursday night. It's gonna be great.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
We've never done a warm show in Chicago, so come
on out. The Den is my I love the Dent,
I love performing there. This will be our third show there,
I think maybe four to third and nicest staff, great everything,
great bar, great location, fun neighborhood. I can't wait.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
And if you had bought tickets previously to see me
do stand up on May eighth. There's just a little
little reorganization because it seems like I think I'll be taping, yeah,
for good reasons, my special in June in Chicago, probably
at the Den, I think. So we're just had to
reorganize a little bit. So it's gonna be the Banana's Podcast.
(05:14):
I'm a go get tickets right now, go to our
Instagram or just google Bananas and Chicago.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
I mean, you could do if you want to do
twenty minutes at the top of stand up, I will
gladly sit backstage and applaud you. And then come on out.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
It's you could easily do that.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
If you want to work new material for the ban animals,
we could. We can do a mix and.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
Match show, mix and match baby.
Speaker 1 (05:36):
Fine with me. Also, I haven't said this on the
podcast yet, but minew Year's resolution besides dry sixty nine
ing in twenty twenty five was to go to Greenland
and to drink margarita. Yes, And I'm not doing that
because when I came up with that, yep, it was
before the idea turmoil.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
It was just a good the idea.
Speaker 1 (05:56):
Now I want nothing to do with the I don't
want to be in a manor and showing up there
and doing something silly. So I don't want any association
whatsoever with any regimes. So I'm going to think of
something new. And I have a hunch, but I might
wait until you if you do ever drink again, I'm
thinking I'll drink again, Baby, do it? Okay? Good. I'm
(06:19):
thinking about doing something that I googled and couldn't find
anybody's ever done it at the Mall of America. I
want to do the Crawl of America where I go
and it opens and I have a drink at every
single bar and restaurant that has a bar in the
Mall of America.
Speaker 2 (06:34):
Oh, my god, guess what In northern New Jersey there
is a new Mall of America. Oh, it has a
it has a ski hill in it. We could get it,
drink at every bar, and we could go skiing, ride
a roll or coaster.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
Done.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
I want to drink at every single bar there.
Speaker 1 (06:56):
Also the ban Animals. I won't announce it till the
day of, but or we won't announce it to the
day of because I don't want like one hundred people
to show up. But that morning I'll be like, we
are at the Mall of America. If you want to
meet us for one drink at one of these bars,
come on and crawl America with us. So I'm thinking
Crawl of America because it's dumb, it's representative of America,
(07:18):
and I couldn't find anybody who's ever done it. So
I want it to become a bananas tradition, to do
the Crawl of America.
Speaker 2 (07:25):
The bye I mean, like, my god, by how many
bars are there?
Speaker 1 (07:30):
Well, there's a ton. So I looked at the the
the og, the one we all know, and there are
so many restaurants that serve alcohol. But I'm talking places
that actually have a bar that you can sit down
on a stool or at a high chair. I mean,
I love this, So I think it's like seventeen seventeen. Yeah,
(07:52):
that's I could. I was just going online. So also,
if you're an animal at either location of All America
and you just have time to wander around them all
and count how many actual bars. I'm talking Margaritaville's all
the sports bars. I'm sure there's a hard rock in there.
Let me know, we would have to.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
Like keep up a clip. We'd have to keep a
pretty good clip up.
Speaker 1 (08:13):
You know, we're gon be eating a lot, and we're
gonna be doing a lot of activities, and I bet
we buy some zany and funny hats.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
So at a certain point we're gonna just have to
be like I just have to have a sip of beer,
like a shot of beer or something like that.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
You know, but you live how you want, A nice
little bailey.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
I definitely something I definitely can't have seventeen drinks throughout
the day. I don't think I physically could do it.
I really don't.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
You've changed. He used to be able to do it.
We used to One night, you and me and Kristen
went out after a web series and I think we
had something like eleven beers each, and.
Speaker 2 (08:50):
It was beer. I was very a drinking beer.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
Then, and so was Kristi. And it was I remember
just being like, this is us now, Like we just
became best friends because we sat here and drank thirty
four beers between three people at from eleven pm to
four am. That's the other thing too, It's like, why
not start right before the next day does so? Anyways,
(09:14):
sorry to the rest of the world, you know. But yeah,
I'm not going to Greenland my whole life. I looked
at Greenland on maps, yeah, and our globes and it's gigantic.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
So funny how the distortion makes it look so big.
It's like, well, the majority of the world is the
top of Greenland.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
Yeah, it seems like a wonderful country. Maybe we'll have
a guest on the Manas from Greenland. That seems like
a fun thing to do. But yeah, I'm not going.
I'm not getting involved in whatever baloney is happening. Yeah,
but uh. Crawl of America twenty twenty five, twenty twenty six.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
We'll see, we'll see, we'll see.
Speaker 1 (09:55):
I love it. It's a it's a newbie, all right.
Tell me about this snake. That this whistling snake.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
This was sent in by someone who's never sent in
anything before hot d It was literally in the request
section of our messages on our DMS, and so nice
Crypto goth sent this in, also known as k S.
I didn't know which they would prefer to go by.
(10:20):
This was in BBC Wildlife Cautel Discover Wildlife Okay, and
it was written by Pat kinsella.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
Oh best in the biz.
Speaker 2 (10:36):
That's what they say about Pat.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
Pat Pat's he or she We don't know they doesn't matter.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
Snake found in Ireland for first time ever as fisherman
stumbles upon strange whistling serpent. This is this story continually.
There's one of those stories that, just as it goes,
continues to get weirder.
Speaker 1 (10:56):
Ireland doesn't have snakes already. Didn't know that.
Speaker 2 (10:59):
Yeah, that was like the whole myth right of Saint Patrick,
and he got rid of him. The usually tight knit
population on a small island in the west of Ireland
is being split by an issue no one saw coming.
Only a few weeks ago when the community came together
as usual to celebrate Saint Patrick's Day with the annual
here it is. Are you ready for me to murder this?
(11:22):
Of course, it's called a snake hunt festival, and the
cause of the conflict on Claire Island in Klue Bay County,
Mayo couldn't be more pertinent. It revolves around the mysterious
recent arrival of a real snake on the isle, a
whistling one no less known scientifically as snake aus aviifolus.
(11:45):
I wish they gave us its common name as well. Yeah,
I mean, I guess it's called whistling snake. The question
of what to do about less known than big celebrations
such as Puck Fair in Kilgoreland County Kerry, when a
wild goat is captured, crowned as king and put up
on a tall pillar to rein over the town for
(12:07):
three days before being released. Did you know about this?
Speaker 1 (12:11):
Of course I didn't, because I would have. I could
only wear shirts that had that exact image on it
for the rest of my life.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
I mean, this is just an offhanded remark about in
this article. This is just like, well, this is you know,
it's not this. I mean that, I want a whole
thing about that. I want to do a whole episode
about that.
Speaker 1 (12:34):
You got that right. I saw. I was in Sneam,
which is a village in Ireland, and it's beautiful. Sneam
was and when I got out of the vehicle, it's
just walking around. It's in County Carry. There was a
long twisted horn sheep, yeah, ram whatever. They are there
just standing in the town square and all of us
(12:56):
were like, is this a pet? Is this wild? Everybody
was taking like sort of like long distance selfies with it,
but they it was majestic. I'll say that.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
Oh nice. Well, I mean, like you can imagine.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
If shout out to Sneam, all the Sneam and animals
out there, if that goat was or if that sheep
could have been mayor of that town at the time.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
Was That's why it was in the in the town square. Claire, Okay,
so less well known than big celebrations such as Puck Fair,
Claire Island's traditional snake chase and something is a colorful
carnival that's also been celebrated for centuries. Each seventeen March,
one person, typically someone who has made themselves a bit
(13:38):
unpopular during the preceding year, is nominated as the snake
painted green and then pursued around the Craggy Island by
the other participants. Most of the islands one hundred and
thirty strong population take part. When caught, they're hurled into
the sea. So that's what normally. Yes, it does sound fantastic,
(14:00):
but that's what normally happens. That's the normal run of
the mill March seventeenth for this island.
Speaker 1 (14:06):
Okay, why do we like When you draw a snake,
you draw green. But if you look at snakes, there's
so few green snakes. Like if I picture every snake
I've ever seen in person in my life, I've actually
never seen a green snake besides garter snakes that have
stripes on them.
Speaker 2 (14:21):
I mean, the only reason I know which exactly which
snakes are green is because I do have a child
who is obsessed with snakes. That's great, but they're all
they're all pretty uh tropical, They're all the vipers and
stuff like that. There is a green cobra that exists
in India, and the only reason I know about that
is because Olive's team is, like her soccer team is
(14:44):
green and Alive was like cobras, And then the coaches
were like, well, you know, there's cobras aren't green, And
Olive was like, yes, the Indian green cobra is green.
And I was like, I didn't want to say anything,
but I was like, if she says it's true, guys,
it's gonna turn out to be true.
Speaker 1 (15:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:02):
The amount of times like a googled stuff that Olive
has said, being like I don't think that's true, honey,
and then googled and be like, oh no, she's right.
She read it in some national geographic at some point
and it's stuck in her little brain.
Speaker 1 (15:16):
She's gonna save the world.
Speaker 2 (15:17):
The event invokes the legend of Saint Patrick, who famously
chased a slither of snakes into the sea during the
fifth century after they rudely attacked him during a forty
day fast on the Krogpatrick, the holy mountain that towers
over Klue Bay, and then banished the beasts forevermore from
the Irish soil. The story about the Saints sending serpents
packing is of course apocryphal. In truth, the island of
(15:40):
Ireland never had any snakes for Saint Pat to pursue
into the waves in the first place, having become detached
from the rest of Europe ten thousand years ago during
the Last Ice Age, a full two thousand years before
Britain too broke away, leaving no land bridge for cold
blooded reptiles to get across once the ice had melted.
Well that's interesting, okay. Still, the irony of a real
(16:03):
snake suddenly being sighted in the immediate aftermath of Saint
Patrick's day on place so close to Krokpatrick is not
lost on the customers at O'Malley's food store and post office,
one of the few places that remains open year round
on Claire Island.
Speaker 1 (16:18):
How nice is that nice?
Speaker 2 (16:20):
Once home to the fearless pirate Queen Granny O'Malley, the
usually quiet island may just have another claim to fame,
and locals are bracing themselves for an onslaught of reporters
and social media influencers. Quote. The last thing I thought
I'd have to worry about this spring was checking my freckin'
wellies for snakes, grumbles Kelly, who has come to collect
(16:42):
her groceries this inconvenience. Aside, the forty six year old
at Mitch She's glad to be out of the house
because it was Ao's. I mean, the name is aoife s.
How do you think that is pronounced's OIF's husband was
I'm almost certain it's not Oi oi If. Salesman was
(17:07):
first who first spotted the serpent, and the phone hasn't
stopped ringing since last Tuesday. While preparing to put out
to see, as he had done for most days for
the last thirty years, Finton Kelly noticed an odd movement
around the lobster pots in the harbor. Looking closer, he
was startled to see and even more surprised to hear,
a snake. Quick Thinking, Finton managed to get a slightly
(17:29):
blurry photo of the animal, later identified as a kind
of ribbon snake usually resident in North Africa, known to
the Bedouin as the Saharan singing serpent.
Speaker 1 (17:40):
Now that is a name, good mascot for a sports team.
The gallif got it wrong. Yeah, no singing serpents.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
Because it makes a melodic sound somewhere between a whistle
and a hum.
Speaker 1 (17:52):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (17:53):
What to do about the visiting viper is a vexatious issue.
Thank you, thank you, BBC. That was beautiful, causing debate
and division. Look at that, all this alliteration, visiting, viper vexatious, debate, division,
I love it, and house holds. Across the island. Some
residents are demanding the reptile be cast into the sea.
We're good at that, says Oife, who's among the anti
(18:16):
snake contingent. Others, including Fitton, want to extend a warm
It's three Irish words, welcome to the serpent, and can
see a commercial benefit of having him around. People say
that snakes aren't from here, but sure neither are wallabies
and look what they've done for tourism on Lamby. Wait,
there's wallabies on Lamby.
Speaker 1 (18:35):
Scotty, I'm going to Lamby. This has just jumped up
my places to go travel list.
Speaker 2 (18:41):
Wait, he's referring to the Lambee Islands off the Coasta
County Dublin, which has been home to a thriving, although
presumably shivering, colony of wild rednecked wallabies since the nineteen eighties.
The incongruous marsupials have indeed become a big attraction, with
guys leading trips to see them. What is going on
about this, oh, Bobby? So they named the snake Bobby Bobby,
(19:01):
that's what we're calling him, could put us back on
the map as Ireland snake Island enthusa the fishermen. It'll
make the place edgy again, a bit sexy and dangerous
like when Granny was around. And he can hold a note.
If if I can catch him, I might even be
able to teach him a traditional tune or two. I mean,
what is going If this wasn't published March thirty first,
(19:23):
I would think this is an April fool's joke.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
Yeah, I love this story. This is a great story.
It makes me love Ireland even more than I know.
Speaker 2 (19:30):
Ireland is so great.
Speaker 1 (19:32):
They're finding the positives in this. So many people would
be like, kill it, mail it back to Africa, get
this thing out of here, and these guys are like,
start printing the t shirts. Guys, they should have slide
whistles that look like snakes. They pull the tails, of course,
one hundred percent well into the faces. And Bobby is
the funniest name I know.
Speaker 2 (19:50):
Bobby's the funniest name. OIF's daughters is knitting him a
jersey and they said they've had people donating their old
socks for him to wear because they're worried about him
being cold in the winter time.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
Oh God, what a what a place, what a country.
We love the Irish. We love the Irish bananals. What
a place. I want to go meet Bobby and I
also want to see some redneck Wallabies. Uh huh red
Nick Wallaby. Yeah funny. What if they're like redneck Americans?
What if they're just driving trucks with no tailgates and
rust patches everywhere and lighting bottle rockets at each other.
Speaker 2 (20:22):
Yeah, making homemade hot tubs in the back.
Speaker 1 (20:25):
Of their trucks, putting empty beer case boxes on their head,
and jumping bonfires that are made out of palletts that
they'll never clean up. The nails or screws, Nicks. They
really they really resourceful people.
Speaker 4 (20:38):
I know.
Speaker 2 (20:39):
So I'm just going to tell you this. I won't
read the rest of this because it's a BBC article.
It's very long. But some people think that the snake
hitched a ride on the back of a bird.
Speaker 1 (20:50):
I believe in Africa.
Speaker 2 (20:53):
I guess certain martins do over winter in Africa, and
it's not unheard of predatory animals taxing only piggybag piggyback
a lift and others just think it's someone's escape snake.
But with one hundred and thirty people on the island,
you can pretty quickly find out if someone had a snake,
especially a singing Saharan serpent.
Speaker 1 (21:15):
Yeah, it came in. It on a it came on
a bird.
Speaker 2 (21:18):
The number of things that I've learned in this article.
Speaker 1 (21:21):
It's a educational part.
Speaker 2 (21:22):
It's a huge number. It's more than the usual article.
Speaker 1 (21:26):
I know. We could wrap it up right now and
I would say this was a top ten episode of bananas,
but we'll keep it going because we know people have
long commutes and lots of dishes to do and are
miserable at work, and that's where we come in. Snakes
fill a void in my life, similar to lava, where
there's nothing I want to do more than like touch
(21:47):
them and experience them, but it would probably lead to
my demise. They are very attractive. And then at the
same time, you're like, when I see a rattlesnake in
Los Angeles which lived here for eleven years, twelve years,
I've probably seen six or seven total. You don't see
them off, No you don't, but I walk towards them
every time. And then something my head goes like, stop
(22:09):
walking towards this snake, you buffoon. You're going to get
bit on the ankle and die in the stupidest way.
Speaker 2 (22:15):
It is also interesting that I've never seen a small rattlesnake,
which is probably good for me, because I think the
babies sometimes just bite because they don't understand. And every
rattlesnake I've seen has been huge, like taking up the
whole width of the trail.
Speaker 1 (22:34):
Very cool, very exciting. I was walking with my friend Erica.
Shout out to Erica, I wonder if I wonder if
she listens to bananas. And we were walking Griffith Park
and I didn't know this about her, but definitely afraid
of snakes, like it's her single biggest fear. We're just
doing a normal afternoon friend hike and I saw a
rattlesnake sixty yards ahead of us, like really far, but
(22:55):
I could see it moving, and I'm like, oh, And
I just said to her, Hey, that's all I did. Hey,
And she goes, is this a snake and started running
towards where the snake was. She thought it was like
to our left or right, but I saw it so
far ahead, and I'm like no, no, no, no, no, come back.
And then she saw it, screamed and came running back
to me. But it was just a change in the
(23:15):
in my voice where I was like, hey, and she
knew that I spotted something without knowing she was definitely
afraid of them, just didn't she ran full speed towards it.
Speaker 2 (23:25):
Yeah, so funny, that's pretty great.
Speaker 1 (23:29):
But I take a photo of a snake every time
I see it, so I guess it's you know, it's
like some people take photos of their cocktails or their food.
I take pictures of the one rattlesnake I see every
three years.
Speaker 2 (23:41):
I think we're gonna I think it's only a matter
of days or months until we have a snake in
the house. I'll have loved I.
Speaker 1 (23:50):
Say so much. They're great pets. But you know, also,
are they great?
Speaker 2 (23:54):
Are they great pets?
Speaker 1 (23:57):
I like a snake. Look, I don't think you should
have a pets.
Speaker 2 (24:02):
No, I don't think you shouldn't have a pet snake.
I agree, But when you say they're great pets, I
don't know about that. I would say a great pet
is something that comes Greatsy at the door, happy to
see licks your face, Yeah, nags, its tail. It just
sits in a coil until you feed it a live animal.
Speaker 1 (24:21):
That is true. They could live a pretty long time.
Growing up, all my friends had ball pythons, so tall pythons. Yeah, yeah, lots,
So I grew up just always you know, they would
be like, hey, make sure if you handle the mice,
wash your hands first because they'll smell your hands and
bite your hand. And then they were like, oh, it's
just eight yesterday, so it would be docile and we
would just hold I would always have ball pythons.
Speaker 2 (24:43):
Yeah, wow, that's interesting.
Speaker 1 (24:45):
More than like constrictors and stuff like that. Yeah, ball
pythons were all the rage in Maryland. And then one
kid had a king snake and what's a feed It's
a black and white striped snake, but it famously eats
other snakes, which is very disturbing. So we would go
catch ringnecks and garter snakes and ribbon snakes and he
would feed them corn snakes and he would feed it
(25:06):
to the bigger king snake. And the first time I
witnessed it, it was so disturbing that I didn't ever
care to see it again. It's really gross, and you know, also,
you're a kid so you're like, oh, this is a
new experience, and then internally I'm like, I don't like
the way this feels. I don't want to witness an
unnatural death in a tank in a bedroom where guys
(25:30):
are doing bong rips. So that's childhood.
Speaker 2 (25:34):
There you go.
Speaker 1 (25:35):
It's a learning experience. Jared Walt Walbolt set this in Jareded.
I think this is his first story too. Thanks for
sending it into Jareded Walbolt. You can send it into
the Bananas Podcast on Instagram or emails. I'm actually getting
a little better at checking the emails. The Bananas Podcast
at gmail dot com. Also, Bananas is on iHeart now
(25:55):
we're on iHeart and so far it's been fantastic.
Speaker 2 (25:58):
Oh yeah, thank you.
Speaker 1 (25:59):
I heard. Yeah, we got to get some I mean
you have still a pork at Pork Business email. I
feel like we gotta get Banana Boy number two at
iHeart dot com and kurtieb at iHeart dot com. I
want some corporate emails.
Speaker 2 (26:14):
Yeah, let's get some corporate emails. I heart you listening.
Speaker 1 (26:18):
I bet they are. Jared Walbolt, thank you for sending this.
The couple with the Guinness World Record for a fifty
eight hour kiss have separated? Whoa whoa whoa? Yeah? Wait
what yeah? This was did they how did they eat?
Speaker 2 (26:41):
Did they eat?
Speaker 1 (26:41):
They they ate each other's lips and faces. I think
they snacked on each other's passion. Uh. This was edited
by rsh Deep Cower or caor sorry rsh Deep if
I got that wrong. And it was on live mint
dot com, but also other places.
Speaker 2 (27:00):
Live men where things aren't written only edited.
Speaker 1 (27:03):
Yes, thank you, arch Deep ours Deep is best in
the biz when it comes to editing. On live mint
dot com our favorite website.
Speaker 2 (27:15):
Only mint News. All right, give it to me.
Speaker 1 (27:18):
Guinness World records are often known for being weird. Sure,
good sentence, Okay.
Speaker 2 (27:24):
One such record Wait wait, I've got a question for you, Scotti.
If it's if it's edited only edited? Is this written
by Ai Scotty? Did AI write this?
Speaker 1 (27:38):
We'll find out because that first sentence was stupid.
Speaker 2 (27:40):
It was already stupid, right, dumb.
Speaker 1 (27:43):
Ai is the mediumist in the biz. One such record
captured global attention when a tie couple in twenty thirteen
kissed continuously for fifty eight hours and thirty five minutes.
Speaker 2 (27:57):
Fifty questions please answer fold days two full days and change.
Speaker 1 (28:05):
Yeah, the third of a day. The couple has now
sadly separated.
Speaker 2 (28:11):
Sadly, this seems like a wonderful news.
Speaker 1 (28:16):
Yeah, that seems like a one person had the idea
and the other one went along with it, and probably
around our thirty was like, I'm going to divorce this
person as soon as I can.
Speaker 2 (28:28):
I just want to know how their bodies were situated
to maintain it for that long. And also, does it
mean that a like a record holder representative sat and
watched two people kiss for fifty eight hours.
Speaker 1 (28:45):
There are photos and videos, so maybe it's some combination,
but I think I think people rotated in and watched
these two smooch. And who doesn't love a smooch? We
love we love a smooch on this podcast.
Speaker 2 (28:57):
Oh come on, we're not. We're not anti smooch. That's
definitely no.
Speaker 1 (29:02):
We are pro smooch on the Bananas podcast. The couple
became famous and sprung into the limelight when they broke
their record for the first time in twenty eleven. In
twenty eleven, they kissed for forty six hours and twenty
four minutes. They emerged as a symbol of love and dedication.
Speaker 2 (29:18):
Okay, so did someone did they beat it just for
fun or did someone beat theirs and they had to
beat the other persons?
Speaker 1 (29:25):
Well, I so with the record, the couple won the
grand prize of two diamond rings worth one hundred thousand
bot tie bot, which I listen, I'm not going to
leave the Banan animals screaming at their devices, going, well,
how much is that? In American naked?
Speaker 2 (29:46):
So much?
Speaker 1 (29:49):
Four dollars? So you know two of those you're you're
looking at about six grand? And six grand did Thailand
for two days of work just for smooching for smooching?
Not that ain't bad, that's a ain't that's easy money.
Speaker 2 (30:04):
It's like hands on a hard body, but it's lips
on a soft, soft, soft wet lips.
Speaker 1 (30:11):
Yeah, I uh there. The more you think about it,
it feels like a Saw movie or it's human centipede
face to face, is what we're saying.
Speaker 2 (30:20):
Yeah, is there a picture of them kissing?
Speaker 1 (30:23):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (30:24):
Okay, describe their body positions please.
Speaker 1 (30:27):
Pure stiff terror. They're standing, They're standing, Yeah, they're standing
in the photo and their eyes are closed in the
photo that I saw, So they maybe they're both very
good at transcendental meditation and they were just somewhere else.
Speaker 2 (30:42):
Yeah yeah, yeah, they were just stinging it up.
Speaker 1 (30:46):
So maybe they wanted rings again. I don't know, but
they broke the record again in twenty thirteen with an
even longer kiss. This is widely celebrated across the globe.
Of course it was. I mean, I a lot of
people think about nine to eleven or the Challenger exploding,
but I think about twenty thirteen when these two shared
the longest kiss in the world. However, in a recent
(31:07):
BBC podcast, Ekechai or Akachai said that they have now separated.
It is with a heavy heart that we share this
personal change.
Speaker 2 (31:18):
He said, they separated from the kiss, or separated like
they're no longer a couple.
Speaker 1 (31:23):
See, that's why we we need Ai not to write this,
because they mean as a couple.
Speaker 2 (31:30):
Wow, okay, yeah, I think ours deep. We need little
bit more editing.
Speaker 1 (31:34):
Yeah, a little context here, Orestep. When we're talking three
and a half days of smoochin and then you say
they separated, I have a feeling we're gonna better details.
Speaker 2 (31:45):
I don't feeling we're going to find out that our
steep's last name is learning and it's ours deep is.
Speaker 1 (31:51):
The AI he might be. He'll never hear this, so
we'll find out. The couple did not share any particular
reasons for the separation, but acknowledge that their journey was
filled with cherished moments. Well that's nice a couple. Yeah,
sometimes just doesn't work out and that's okay.
Speaker 2 (32:09):
Is your life filled with cherished moments, Scottie.
Speaker 1 (32:12):
Oh my god. From when I wake up to when
I go to bed, it's I'm like a humble doll.
I'm like, my whole life is just a cabinet of
humble dolls, and I'm just tucking them all in with
their little sleepy roalm heads. I can't think of the
last cherish moment I've had.
Speaker 2 (32:29):
I can't think of the last cherished moment I've had.
I'm sure I've had cherished moments, but I don't think
I've ever identified a moment as a cherished moment in
my life. Maybe that's our goal for next week. Yeah,
identify a cherish moment. I think that should be every
identify a cherish moment between now and next week.
Speaker 1 (32:48):
Folks, if you don't know what to toast when you
go out with your friends, just say Hey to cherished moments.
If they've remain your friend, then that is a true
friend that you need to cherish their friendship.
Speaker 2 (33:00):
Fish moments is something is is a term only used
by diamond advertisers.
Speaker 1 (33:05):
I feel like true. That's a great point. The couple
said that they continue to share a mutual respect for
each other despite the separation. And with this, the fans,
their fans, you know, all those fans and people grotesquely
kissing their partner for over two days. Yeah, are left
with the bittersweet memory of the record and the love
(33:25):
that once captured the imagination of millions. Yeah does it? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (33:30):
It does it? Here's I have so many questions. So
they're standing in the photo, I mean fifty eight hours.
They gotta shit, they gotta piss, they gotta eat right,
or they do or they were they just not doing
any of those things. They got to drink water? Do
they are they hooked up to an IV? I have
so many questions? Or do they drink together? Does a
(33:51):
tube come in and they split the water between each
mouth with their tongues?
Speaker 1 (33:58):
Great? All wonderful. So you know what, I take it back.
It does capture the imagination because we're imagining all of
the different ways that this was terrible. Yeah. Interesting, And
I think to compliment your your thoughts, the Guinness World
Record has now been replaced, so it's no longer longest
kiss World record. Now it is the longest kissing marathon.
(34:21):
The reason in a post, Ginnis said, we did this
because the competition has become too dangerous and some of
the rules conflicted with our current updated policies. There have
been several attempts of kissing contest competitors suffering the ill
effects during previous record attempts. So I think, to your point,
(34:42):
I don't think they were eating or drinking. I think
people were malnourishing themselves while smooching hard for two days.
Speaker 2 (34:49):
Oh my god. I mean, there's so many things that
sound terrible about this, and not a single sounds romantic.
Not a single one sounds romantic. It almost seems like
it's driven out of a desperation for the ring, for
the rings.
Speaker 1 (35:11):
They Yeah, maybe they wanted those diamond rings and then
they sold them and had a nice trip where they
slept in separate beds and didn't look or talk to
each other. They they were like, I got it. I
understand somebody once told me that American football, NFL football,
that the reason people enjoy it is it's from the
moment the ball leaves the quarterback's hand until it hits
(35:34):
the receiver's hands, and in that space of time all
the feeling of hope and that we want something great
to happen, or maybe something battle happened. The anticipation of
when the ball leaves the quarterbacks hand until it's caught
either by the offensive defense is what makes football thrilling.
That's the main thing that draws people to it, which
is interesting if you think about it.
Speaker 2 (35:56):
Also, it's such a small small part of the game.
Speaker 1 (36:00):
They run it a lot. There's kicking, there's punting, all
there's all sorts of things that can go sideways. But
I understand, I do understand the it's the hope and
the anticipation that something great might happen. In similar way,
I think the moment they start kissing and the moment
they stop kissing, Yeah, are the only interesting parts of
this entire thing. Oh yeah, I think the middle is disgusting.
(36:23):
It's horrific, disgusting. It is a saw a movie.
Speaker 2 (36:26):
And I always think about whenever I hear about these
kind of you know Guinness World Records. I always think
about the marathon. Do you remember the Dell Close Memorial Marathon.
Speaker 1 (36:38):
Yeah, I went to several of them. I'm sure I
saw you perform at some of them.
Speaker 2 (36:41):
Yeah, definitely. It was so this was back in the day,
late nineties, early two thousand's UCB New York City. Maybe
they still do it. I doubt they do, but it
was seventy two hours of improv NonStop.
Speaker 1 (36:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (36:59):
So you get an hour long time slot and then
you would like show up and do your thing and
we it would always be I would always get a
time slot at like four in the morning or five
in the morning. And that feeling, that vibe when you
walk in Sunday morning at five a four thirty in
(37:19):
the morning, where there's one to two people in the
audience and you're just doing it just for the sake
of doing it. There's not no joy, it's just going
through the motions. That is what I think about whenever
I think of any you know, long distance or long
haul worldwide marathon.
Speaker 1 (37:42):
Durrance, it's gross.
Speaker 2 (37:44):
The whole thing's gross.
Speaker 1 (37:46):
Yeah, I definitely got you know, those calls or emails
or texts are like, hey, our show starts at four
Will you come? And me being nuwde to New York
and wanting to infiltrate the comedy scene. I went to
a lot of those things and often it would be
me and you know, six seven other people, and totally
I'm glad it was there. I think people would be like, thanks,
(38:09):
you showed up, and then I would never do that now,
Oh no, with age and success, it's like those days.
That's a young man's game. When you're twenty three and
you just want people to know who you are, you
go do a lot of dumb shit. But he you know,
at that time, we all thought improv was going to
change the world.
Speaker 2 (38:29):
I really did. I really like had dranking the kool aid.
Speaker 1 (38:33):
It's no problem.
Speaker 2 (38:38):
Here it is. Cia found the arc of the Covenant
by using psychics.
Speaker 1 (38:42):
Great, perfect, I mean perfect. Here's some thumbs up. Yes,
Shane is thumbing up her friend Austin, who chose sobriety
one hundred and eighty days ago and is struggling but
winning every day. He's doing the work and both mental
health and body health therapy and reconnecting with nature something
we love. We love. Yes, Shane and Josh are so
(39:03):
proud of you, Austin and happy to consider you and
call you family.
Speaker 2 (39:08):
Thumbs up.
Speaker 1 (39:08):
Very nice. Thumbs up. That's a like a double and
a half dry sixty nine. Good for you. Cassie is
thumbing herself up. She completed her training and I Movement
Desensitation and Reprocessing emd R therapy and is halfway to
her certification.
Speaker 2 (39:24):
That's cool.
Speaker 1 (39:25):
It was a fifty six hour training, but it was
so worth it. Cassie, You're going to help so many
people in this life. Thumbs up to you for caring
about others.
Speaker 2 (39:34):
Thumbs up.
Speaker 1 (39:35):
Courtney Miranda is thumbing herself way up for quitting a
job without having another one lined up, because she says
she already is happier than she's been in years. That's great.
Quittin's good.
Speaker 2 (39:47):
Yeah, good job.
Speaker 1 (39:48):
That segues into this one. P K in Texas says, quote,
I've never written to a podcast before, but last week
I listened to One Thousand Ways to Invade a Home
WHI it was a bananas episode and wanted to give
the Banana Boys a thumbs up. This is super mushy
and saptacular. That's okay, so were we Yeah, we love it.
We love a smooch, we love a saptacular. But Scotty said,
(40:12):
I'm a huge fan of endings, and then you guys
both had such a positive perspective around Kurt's ending of
the Hot Tub Show that it gave me the courage
to make some much needed changes in my life. Nothing humongous,
but I now look at changes with less fear and
with more opportunity in mind.
Speaker 2 (40:31):
Thumbs up, thank you, Thumbs up to you.
Speaker 1 (40:34):
Kay, thumbs up for taking some chances. And it is
true I do love an ending, maybe more than I should,
but I do. I think it's wonderful. That's them all.
Speaker 2 (40:45):
That's all the thumbs up.
Speaker 1 (40:46):
That's all four thumbs ups for me.
Speaker 2 (40:47):
Thank you everybody who sends in your thumbs up, and
of course you can send your stories to us on
our Instagram, at the Bananas Podcast or at the Bananas
Podcast at gmail dot com.
Speaker 1 (41:00):
Mmmmmm, this one's got here we go. You got one
about uh, what the hell was it? Oh?
Speaker 2 (41:05):
Cia?
Speaker 1 (41:07):
The Covenant?
Speaker 2 (41:08):
Yeah, this was and the Independent Oh the Ladies by
James Liddell.
Speaker 1 (41:17):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (41:18):
James. Cia found the arc of the Covenant by using
psychics declassified files. Claim. Okay, so this is okay to
classified CIA documents claim that the mystical arc of the
Covenant was located by a psychic decades ago in the
Middle East. As part of one of the intelligence agencies
experimental secret projects in the nineteen eighties, the Ark of
(41:39):
the Covenant was thrust back into the spotlight as globe
trotting archaeologist, of course, raiders of the lost Arc. Then
they explain what the arc of the Covenant is. ARCA,
the Covenant holds the Ten Commandments. That's the idea of it.
Speaker 4 (41:51):
Uh.
Speaker 2 (41:51):
The CIA conducted experiments as part of the secret projects
Sun Streak with individuals known as quote remote viewers, a
type of clairvoyant who claim they could project their consciousness
to receive information about far away objects. There's no credible
scientific evidence the remote viewing exists, since generally regarded as pseudoscience.
That's what the But then there's I mean, it's you
(42:14):
can look at the actual declassified piece of paper here
it says Project Sunstreet warning notice intelligence sources and methods involved,
and then it just has Viewer thirty two attained excellent
site contact, doing very well with Stage four structure. Viewers
also exhibits the ability to aol to a minimum need
(42:38):
to be careful with editing. Rough This does not seem
to be a problem at the time, just something to
watch for. I mean the fact that so I read
this entire book. Have you read Did you read this book?
John Ronson's The Men Who Stare At Goats?
Speaker 1 (42:51):
No, I'm familiar with it though.
Speaker 2 (42:53):
Oh it is so so good. Everyone go out. It's
called The Men Who Stare At Goats. They George Clooney
made a movie based on it. That that that was
not really what the book is. So the book is
all about these these programs like mk Ultra programs in
the CIA during the sixties, seventies and eighties that involved
(43:18):
like all sorts of looney tune stuff. Like one thing.
The reason it's called the Menu Steric Goats is that
like they just kept trying to get people to make
a goat's hard explode by like looking at it from
across the room, and it never never happened. It never worked, surprising,
but it was millions and millions of dollars put.
Speaker 1 (43:37):
In taking acid and stuff right like they would, yeah,
they would like trip super hard and then stare at
goats and try to make its heart explode.
Speaker 2 (43:44):
Yeah, but this was a whole part of it. These
remote viewers were there. Some of them were like quote
unquote seconds, but these were CIA operatives, so that they
were uh, they were taken from the military. So these
were like military guys who would just like go in
a room and then they were like told, like, this
is this is the box, like look for a box,
and then they would just imagine and say this is
(44:06):
where the box is. And the best part about all
of it is that it was never they never went
to go see where the arc was. They're like, here's
where it is, and then they went to go see it.
I think the whole point that they were like excited
about is that they didn't tell the remote viewer that
it was the Ark of the Covenant. They just said,
you're looking for a box made of gold and wood. Uh,
(44:29):
and it inside that container is another container. That's what
they said. And then they described essentially a scene from
the Middle East, and then they're like, bing, we got it,
we did it. Good job, But do they have it.
Speaker 1 (44:45):
I've never seen it. That feels like that would be
bigger news than two people kissing for two and a
half days. Yeah, where the hell's the ark? Of the Covenant.
I want to see it.
Speaker 2 (44:53):
No, they never got it. They never went got it.
There wasn't enough specific information in the description to actually
physic located.
Speaker 1 (45:02):
This reminds me of our good friend J. C. Catlin's
tweet back in the day when Twitter was fun and awesome.
That was the one that was like, I used to
think I could control ducks with my mind, but it
turns out ducks and I have very similar ideas about
what stuff ducks should do. And it's right, like, if
you stare there and not go over there, duck, eat that,
eat that piece of bread, Now jump in the water,
(45:22):
Now shake your tail, and then you go, that's just
what ducks are up to. And part of this is
like I'm picturing a box inside of another box. It's
like if you've looked at television, movies, magazines, and then
your own personal life experience, and you sat down and
close your eyes and started imagining things you could put
and you have ten people doing it, somebody is going
to be right. It's in the closet up to the left,
(45:43):
under a pair of old shoes, like, yeah, well this
is just imagining.
Speaker 2 (45:48):
This is what they this is what they were told.
The person was told target is a container. This container
has and this is all quotes. This container has another
container inside of it. The target is fashioned of wood, gold,
and silk, similar in shape to a coffin, and decorated
with a seraphim. Okay, so that's what they told the person.
(46:09):
I'm like, it's nineteen eighty eight. Yeah, it's not that
long ago that Raiders of the Lost Star game out.
Speaker 1 (46:19):
It was really close to it seven years later.
Speaker 2 (46:22):
It's in the front of your brain. It's decorated with
a seraphim. I mean like and then they're just like
they draw and then the person draws, sah, it means.
Speaker 1 (46:32):
It's on fire. Right, isn't seraphim a fire thing? I
thought it was seraphim? Was you you melted something with fire?
But I don't know.
Speaker 2 (46:40):
Maybe seraphim is it's got wings and it's got it's
like a it's a mythical beast.
Speaker 1 (46:47):
Oh okay, yeah yeah, yeah, okay, Oh, then it's definitely true.
Yeah yeah yeah.
Speaker 2 (46:53):
So then the person who's just said that there is
an aspect of spirituality, information, lessons, and the historical knowledge
far beyond what we know, or if you're number thirty
two continued the target is protected by entities and can
only be opened by those who are authorized to do so.
This container will not cannot be opened until the time
is deemed correct. I mean literally, it's just him, a
person remembering details from the Raiders of the Lost Ar exactly.
(47:17):
Individuals opening the container by prying or striking are destroyed
by the container's protectors through the use of a power
unknown to us. He's just it's just grown adults sitting
in a room and one person describing a scene from
Indiana Jones. Yeah, and the other person writing it down
and classifying it as a top secret information. It's so cood.
(47:41):
I love it. I love the military. Thank you so
much for what you do.
Speaker 1 (47:45):
Yeah. Pre Internet, it was so easy just to say
things confidently and nobody could prove you wrong. And if
you said I swear to God, they were like, well
he swear to God? Or I swear my mother's life.
Then you go like, damn, they must really mean this.
They must be great. Cobra's out there. Seraphim are supernatural beings. Interesting. Yeah,
(48:06):
ill Seraphim from Sister Act. That will be Goldberg movie
because I think she sings about seraphim and like ave
Marie or something. Yeah, I want this movie.
Speaker 2 (48:15):
By the way, I want to see exactly what Saraphim
the highest in Christian archaeology. The Seraphim are the highest
ranking celestial beings in the hierarchy of angels. Their four
winged cherubim they're painted blue and the six wing oh
six wings Seraphim are red, symbolizing fire. Okay, there you go.
Speaker 1 (48:37):
I thought it was fire. Yeah, I'm an idiot. That's fun.
Speaker 2 (48:41):
It's a seraphim angel, you.
Speaker 1 (48:44):
Know, speaking of wings. Oh yeah, guys, guyles non binary pier're.
Speaker 2 (48:49):
Talking about Red Bull? Are you gonna talk about talking.
Speaker 1 (48:51):
About Red Bull? No? God, I've already done that too
much on this podcast. It is baseball season and this
is just a friendly reminder to those who have it
or have you. Go on YouTube and search for Scott
Stap Marlins Will Soar. Last year I mentioned this. It
is one of my favorite songs, but when baseball season
(49:12):
kicks off every year, I revisit it myself and for
those who don't know what I'm talking about. Scott's Stapp
was the singer of the band Creed. Whether you like
them or hate them or just laugh at them every
time you hear them, which is what I do. And
when he started, you got kicked out of the band.
Things weren't quite working out in his personal life. I
(49:34):
think he saw cash grab opportunity as a Floridian to
sing an anthem of his own making for the Florida Marlins,
making not commissioned an uncommissioned song called Marlins Will Soar.
It has baseball sound effects, but ultimately it's mostly like
a bad Creed song where he just it's like he
(49:58):
googled baseball term monology and then just start saying them
as lyrics. The first lyric is let's play ball, It's
game day, and then it gets so good and it
was never.
Speaker 2 (50:12):
Used by the Marlins.
Speaker 1 (50:14):
I just to this day, I don't think it has,
which is a major loss because it's so stupid. They
should start every game when the Marlins run out into
the field, they should have a flying dolphin or just
a seraphim flying over the crowd, and they should play
Marlins Will sort. I encourage everyone to take two minutes,
very short song. It doesn't have a third vorse verse.
(50:38):
Marlins Will source Scott's stap Treat yourself. If you're in
a band, cover it this week at the local bar
that you please rock out to it all. Leave this one.
It's a good one. Sean Fister sent this in. Maybe
I'll do it on our next episode. Two scientists have
developed sensors that can heal bones in weeks not months.
(51:00):
Oh pretty interesting, I'm interested, Barns for Upworthy. That's real.
University of organ scientists have created potential medical breakthrough or
a mend through the research of created tiny implants that
can help speed up the healing process of mending broken bones.
If you've suffered a broken bone, you know, proper healing
(51:20):
blah blah blah takes a long time. These will encourage
bones to build strength quicker and heal faster. What are these?
Speaker 2 (51:31):
What are they? They are they get injected into you?
Are they nanobots?
Speaker 1 (51:37):
The implants significantly improve the healing time for broken femurs
and labrats, cutting down on the healing time from four
to six months down to eight weeks. Okay, so that's
two months. So yeah, it's funny that they would do that. Yeah,
bone sensors, and they I'm trying to look at the
exact thing that they say they are. They just keep
(51:58):
seeing bone sensors.
Speaker 2 (52:00):
Classic bone sensors.
Speaker 1 (52:01):
Small implants with sensors that provide data in real time
to the injury site to help better determine if the
bone needs more resistance rehab or if it has been overworked.
Speaker 2 (52:11):
Oh okay, so you can just so useful monitoring. Okay, right, right,
so you're like got to do things to it to
help it go. But okay, that's great. Congratulations, Yeah, congratulations
specifically to those mice.
Speaker 1 (52:26):
Congratulating those are out there just jogging on treadmills and
taking pilloxing classes and getting fit twenty twenty five. We're
taking care of our bodies so our bodies could take
care of it.
Speaker 2 (52:38):
So happy you said polloxing. You said ploxing last night too.
I was like the first time I heard it, and
this is the second time I'm be hearing.
Speaker 1 (52:47):
It and all, and I've never done it and never will.
That's my promise to you. I don't combine things.
Speaker 2 (52:54):
Well, folks, that has been bananas. Thank you so much, Scottie.
Speaker 1 (52:58):
Yeah, so thank you, KURTI Beeth, thanks to exactly right.
I heart Katie Levine, our producer, Lisa Maggott, our full
time human, part time intern, part time employee. Everybody that
makes many as possible. We love doing it. We hope
you love listening to it.
Speaker 4 (53:13):
Man, Bananas Bananas is an exactly right media production.
Speaker 2 (53:29):
Our producer and engineer is Katie Levine.
Speaker 1 (53:31):
The catchy Bananas theme song was composed and performed by Kahan.
Speaker 2 (53:35):
Artwork for Bananas was designed by Travis Millard.
Speaker 1 (53:38):
And our benevolent overlords are the Great Karen Kilgareff and
Georgia Hertstart
Speaker 2 (53:42):
And Lisa Maggott is our full human, not a robot
intern
He's got it. Kurtie, b.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
Are you ready, I'm ready to laugh and laugh and low.
That's what I'm talking about here.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
It is.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Snake found in Ireland for first time ever as fisherman
stumbles upon strange whistling serpent.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
I did not know that that was possible. Let's sink
her fangs into a very wonderful new episode of Bananas.
Speaker 3 (00:33):
World. Understand would resilient pieces?
Speaker 1 (00:43):
Would you?
Speaker 2 (00:55):
Guys, gals, non binary pals. Welcome to the Bananas Podcast.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
I'm that is Kurt, and I'm Scottie and I'm a
Nana Boy number two. And this is a strange news
podcast with storytelling and today we don't have a guest.
It's just the original, often mimicked, never replicated Banana Boys.
Speaker 2 (01:17):
Scotty took Lourene and I out to dinner last night
like a true gentleman. He whined and dined.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
Us Houston's in Pasadena, only the best for my best friends.
It's just the most hilariously easy experience and the food
is very good. Of all the chains, houston has risen
to the top for me.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
It really is. I was exclaiming multiple times that like
everything about it is like just right it's just right.
And also that was my sixty ninth day of not drinking.
I'm now on day seventy. Onward and onward and forward
(02:02):
and forward and above above. Yeah, yeah, there it is upwards.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
Well that's good. Congratulations you dry sixty nine, and congratulations
all the bin animals who have I'm still sending so
many bumper stickers. It's actually it's incredible. I think the
count now is around two thirty. I went back through
and counted the number of times I bought batches of twenty. Yeah,
and now we're using sticker bowl and they're really good.
That's bu lll. They are bin animals. Oh, so you
(02:31):
and I had a great show in Phoenix over the weekend.
Great ban animals came out, so fun to meet everybody. Yes,
daytime shows are fun. I had a great time wrapping
it up at four thirty, doing photos with everybody for
another forty five minutes, and then the sun was still shining.
It was a miracle.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
By the time we finished dinner, the sun was still shining. True,
it really was. It was great, And of course everyone
remembered that April is the blood. The bananas blood Bonanza
started today. It started today today. We're recording on April first,
so please go get the Red Core American Red Cross app.
(03:11):
It's called Blood Donor, Blood Donor. It's very bold name
Bud blood Donor, and you can go. You join the
Bananimals team and sign up to donate blood in the
month of April. Let's see what we Let's see who
we can beat.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
We're currently in one one hundred and sixty sixth place
out of seventy thousand teams, so we're doing great. We
have two hundred and forty eight team members on the
Bananamals team. I love it. And we are above let's see.
It's funny it says impact. We're above the New York
Giants football team, so they can kiss our butts. Yeah,
(03:47):
we're above university. It'sledo, Georgia Southern University. But we're just
below CrossFit and North Platte, Nebraska. So we're coming for you,
you former addicts now crossfitter who would need the thrill
of a needle in their arm every now and then
just to feel so alive. Congratulations to everybody that joined us,
(04:10):
and that numbers should jump because this is early in
the day on April first, so we should be in
the top one fifty pretty soon.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
I'm pretty excited. And also, Chicago, it's official.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
Okay, it's official there, it is.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
It's official. We are coming to you at the Den
Theater May eighth. That's a Thursday night. It's gonna be great.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
We've never done a warm show in Chicago, so come
on out. The Den is my I love the Dent,
I love performing there. This will be our third show there,
I think maybe four to third and nicest staff, great everything,
great bar, great location, fun neighborhood. I can't wait.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
And if you had bought tickets previously to see me
do stand up on May eighth. There's just a little
little reorganization because it seems like I think I'll be taping, yeah,
for good reasons, my special in June in Chicago, probably
at the Den, I think. So we're just had to
reorganize a little bit. So it's gonna be the Banana's Podcast.
(05:14):
I'm a go get tickets right now, go to our
Instagram or just google Bananas and Chicago.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
I mean, you could do if you want to do
twenty minutes at the top of stand up, I will
gladly sit backstage and applaud you. And then come on out.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
It's you could easily do that.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
If you want to work new material for the ban animals,
we could. We can do a mix and.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
Match show, mix and match baby.
Speaker 1 (05:36):
Fine with me. Also, I haven't said this on the
podcast yet, but minew Year's resolution besides dry sixty nine
ing in twenty twenty five was to go to Greenland
and to drink margarita. Yes, And I'm not doing that
because when I came up with that, yep, it was
before the idea turmoil.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
It was just a good the idea.
Speaker 1 (05:56):
Now I want nothing to do with the I don't
want to be in a manor and showing up there
and doing something silly. So I don't want any association
whatsoever with any regimes. So I'm going to think of
something new. And I have a hunch, but I might
wait until you if you do ever drink again, I'm
thinking I'll drink again, Baby, do it? Okay? Good. I'm
(06:19):
thinking about doing something that I googled and couldn't find
anybody's ever done it at the Mall of America. I
want to do the Crawl of America where I go
and it opens and I have a drink at every
single bar and restaurant that has a bar in the
Mall of America.
Speaker 2 (06:34):
Oh, my god, guess what In northern New Jersey there
is a new Mall of America. Oh, it has a
it has a ski hill in it. We could get it,
drink at every bar, and we could go skiing, ride
a roll or coaster.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
Done.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
I want to drink at every single bar there.
Speaker 1 (06:56):
Also the ban Animals. I won't announce it till the
day of, but or we won't announce it to the
day of because I don't want like one hundred people
to show up. But that morning I'll be like, we
are at the Mall of America. If you want to
meet us for one drink at one of these bars,
come on and crawl America with us. So I'm thinking
Crawl of America because it's dumb, it's representative of America,
(07:18):
and I couldn't find anybody who's ever done it. So
I want it to become a bananas tradition, to do
the Crawl of America.
Speaker 2 (07:25):
The bye I mean, like, my god, by how many
bars are there?
Speaker 1 (07:30):
Well, there's a ton. So I looked at the the
the og, the one we all know, and there are
so many restaurants that serve alcohol. But I'm talking places
that actually have a bar that you can sit down
on a stool or at a high chair. I mean,
I love this, So I think it's like seventeen seventeen. Yeah,
(07:52):
that's I could. I was just going online. So also,
if you're an animal at either location of All America
and you just have time to wander around them all
and count how many actual bars. I'm talking Margaritaville's all
the sports bars. I'm sure there's a hard rock in there.
Let me know, we would have to.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
Like keep up a clip. We'd have to keep a
pretty good clip up.
Speaker 1 (08:13):
You know, we're gon be eating a lot, and we're
gonna be doing a lot of activities, and I bet
we buy some zany and funny hats.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
So at a certain point we're gonna just have to
be like I just have to have a sip of beer,
like a shot of beer or something like that.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
You know, but you live how you want, A nice
little bailey.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
I definitely something I definitely can't have seventeen drinks throughout
the day. I don't think I physically could do it.
I really don't.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
You've changed. He used to be able to do it.
We used to One night, you and me and Kristen
went out after a web series and I think we
had something like eleven beers each, and.
Speaker 2 (08:50):
It was beer. I was very a drinking beer.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
Then, and so was Kristi. And it was I remember
just being like, this is us now, Like we just
became best friends because we sat here and drank thirty
four beers between three people at from eleven pm to
four am. That's the other thing too, It's like, why
not start right before the next day does so? Anyways,
(09:14):
sorry to the rest of the world, you know. But yeah,
I'm not going to Greenland my whole life. I looked
at Greenland on maps, yeah, and our globes and it's gigantic.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
So funny how the distortion makes it look so big.
It's like, well, the majority of the world is the
top of Greenland.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
Yeah, it seems like a wonderful country. Maybe we'll have
a guest on the Manas from Greenland. That seems like
a fun thing to do. But yeah, I'm not going.
I'm not getting involved in whatever baloney is happening. Yeah,
but uh. Crawl of America twenty twenty five, twenty twenty six.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
We'll see, we'll see, we'll see.
Speaker 1 (09:55):
I love it. It's a it's a newbie, all right.
Tell me about this snake. That this whistling snake.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
This was sent in by someone who's never sent in
anything before hot d It was literally in the request
section of our messages on our DMS, and so nice
Crypto goth sent this in, also known as k S.
I didn't know which they would prefer to go by.
(10:20):
This was in BBC Wildlife Cautel Discover Wildlife Okay, and
it was written by Pat kinsella.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
Oh best in the biz.
Speaker 2 (10:36):
That's what they say about Pat.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
Pat Pat's he or she We don't know they doesn't matter.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
Snake found in Ireland for first time ever as fisherman
stumbles upon strange whistling serpent. This is this story continually.
There's one of those stories that, just as it goes,
continues to get weirder.
Speaker 1 (10:56):
Ireland doesn't have snakes already. Didn't know that.
Speaker 2 (10:59):
Yeah, that was like the whole myth right of Saint Patrick,
and he got rid of him. The usually tight knit
population on a small island in the west of Ireland
is being split by an issue no one saw coming.
Only a few weeks ago when the community came together
as usual to celebrate Saint Patrick's Day with the annual
here it is. Are you ready for me to murder this?
(11:22):
Of course, it's called a snake hunt festival, and the
cause of the conflict on Claire Island in Klue Bay County,
Mayo couldn't be more pertinent. It revolves around the mysterious
recent arrival of a real snake on the isle, a
whistling one no less known scientifically as snake aus aviifolus.
(11:45):
I wish they gave us its common name as well. Yeah,
I mean, I guess it's called whistling snake. The question
of what to do about less known than big celebrations
such as Puck Fair in Kilgoreland County Kerry, when a
wild goat is captured, crowned as king and put up
on a tall pillar to rein over the town for
(12:07):
three days before being released. Did you know about this?
Speaker 1 (12:11):
Of course I didn't, because I would have. I could
only wear shirts that had that exact image on it
for the rest of my life.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
I mean, this is just an offhanded remark about in
this article. This is just like, well, this is you know,
it's not this. I mean that, I want a whole
thing about that. I want to do a whole episode
about that.
Speaker 1 (12:34):
You got that right. I saw. I was in Sneam,
which is a village in Ireland, and it's beautiful. Sneam
was and when I got out of the vehicle, it's
just walking around. It's in County Carry. There was a
long twisted horn sheep, yeah, ram whatever. They are there
just standing in the town square and all of us
(12:56):
were like, is this a pet? Is this wild? Everybody
was taking like sort of like long distance selfies with it,
but they it was majestic. I'll say that.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
Oh nice. Well, I mean, like you can imagine.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
If shout out to Sneam, all the Sneam and animals
out there, if that goat was or if that sheep
could have been mayor of that town at the time.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
Was That's why it was in the in the town square. Claire, Okay,
so less well known than big celebrations such as Puck Fair,
Claire Island's traditional snake chase and something is a colorful
carnival that's also been celebrated for centuries. Each seventeen March,
one person, typically someone who has made themselves a bit
(13:38):
unpopular during the preceding year, is nominated as the snake
painted green and then pursued around the Craggy Island by
the other participants. Most of the islands one hundred and
thirty strong population take part. When caught, they're hurled into
the sea. So that's what normally. Yes, it does sound fantastic,
(14:00):
but that's what normally happens. That's the normal run of
the mill March seventeenth for this island.
Speaker 1 (14:06):
Okay, why do we like When you draw a snake,
you draw green. But if you look at snakes, there's
so few green snakes. Like if I picture every snake
I've ever seen in person in my life, I've actually
never seen a green snake besides garter snakes that have
stripes on them.
Speaker 2 (14:21):
I mean, the only reason I know which exactly which
snakes are green is because I do have a child
who is obsessed with snakes. That's great, but they're all
they're all pretty uh tropical, They're all the vipers and
stuff like that. There is a green cobra that exists
in India, and the only reason I know about that
is because Olive's team is, like her soccer team is
(14:44):
green and Alive was like cobras, And then the coaches
were like, well, you know, there's cobras aren't green, And
Olive was like, yes, the Indian green cobra is green.
And I was like, I didn't want to say anything,
but I was like, if she says it's true, guys,
it's gonna turn out to be true.
Speaker 1 (15:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:02):
The amount of times like a googled stuff that Olive
has said, being like I don't think that's true, honey,
and then googled and be like, oh no, she's right.
She read it in some national geographic at some point
and it's stuck in her little brain.
Speaker 1 (15:16):
She's gonna save the world.
Speaker 2 (15:17):
The event invokes the legend of Saint Patrick, who famously
chased a slither of snakes into the sea during the
fifth century after they rudely attacked him during a forty
day fast on the Krogpatrick, the holy mountain that towers
over Klue Bay, and then banished the beasts forevermore from
the Irish soil. The story about the Saints sending serpents
packing is of course apocryphal. In truth, the island of
(15:40):
Ireland never had any snakes for Saint Pat to pursue
into the waves in the first place, having become detached
from the rest of Europe ten thousand years ago during
the Last Ice Age, a full two thousand years before
Britain too broke away, leaving no land bridge for cold
blooded reptiles to get across once the ice had melted.
Well that's interesting, okay. Still, the irony of a real
(16:03):
snake suddenly being sighted in the immediate aftermath of Saint
Patrick's day on place so close to Krokpatrick is not
lost on the customers at O'Malley's food store and post office,
one of the few places that remains open year round
on Claire Island.
Speaker 1 (16:18):
How nice is that nice?
Speaker 2 (16:20):
Once home to the fearless pirate Queen Granny O'Malley, the
usually quiet island may just have another claim to fame,
and locals are bracing themselves for an onslaught of reporters
and social media influencers. Quote. The last thing I thought
I'd have to worry about this spring was checking my freckin'
wellies for snakes, grumbles Kelly, who has come to collect
(16:42):
her groceries this inconvenience. Aside, the forty six year old
at Mitch She's glad to be out of the house
because it was Ao's. I mean, the name is aoife s.
How do you think that is pronounced's OIF's husband was
I'm almost certain it's not Oi oi If. Salesman was
(17:07):
first who first spotted the serpent, and the phone hasn't
stopped ringing since last Tuesday. While preparing to put out
to see, as he had done for most days for
the last thirty years, Finton Kelly noticed an odd movement
around the lobster pots in the harbor. Looking closer, he
was startled to see and even more surprised to hear,
a snake. Quick Thinking, Finton managed to get a slightly
(17:29):
blurry photo of the animal, later identified as a kind
of ribbon snake usually resident in North Africa, known to
the Bedouin as the Saharan singing serpent.
Speaker 1 (17:40):
Now that is a name, good mascot for a sports team.
The gallif got it wrong. Yeah, no singing serpents.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
Because it makes a melodic sound somewhere between a whistle
and a hum.
Speaker 1 (17:52):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (17:53):
What to do about the visiting viper is a vexatious issue.
Thank you, thank you, BBC. That was beautiful, causing debate
and division. Look at that, all this alliteration, visiting, viper vexatious, debate, division,
I love it, and house holds. Across the island. Some
residents are demanding the reptile be cast into the sea.
We're good at that, says Oife, who's among the anti
(18:16):
snake contingent. Others, including Fitton, want to extend a warm
It's three Irish words, welcome to the serpent, and can
see a commercial benefit of having him around. People say
that snakes aren't from here, but sure neither are wallabies
and look what they've done for tourism on Lamby. Wait,
there's wallabies on Lamby.
Speaker 1 (18:35):
Scotty, I'm going to Lamby. This has just jumped up
my places to go travel list.
Speaker 2 (18:41):
Wait, he's referring to the Lambee Islands off the Coasta
County Dublin, which has been home to a thriving, although
presumably shivering, colony of wild rednecked wallabies since the nineteen eighties.
The incongruous marsupials have indeed become a big attraction, with
guys leading trips to see them. What is going on
about this, oh, Bobby? So they named the snake Bobby Bobby,
(19:01):
that's what we're calling him, could put us back on
the map as Ireland snake Island enthusa the fishermen. It'll
make the place edgy again, a bit sexy and dangerous
like when Granny was around. And he can hold a note.
If if I can catch him, I might even be
able to teach him a traditional tune or two. I mean,
what is going If this wasn't published March thirty first,
(19:23):
I would think this is an April fool's joke.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
Yeah, I love this story. This is a great story.
It makes me love Ireland even more than I know.
Speaker 2 (19:30):
Ireland is so great.
Speaker 1 (19:32):
They're finding the positives in this. So many people would
be like, kill it, mail it back to Africa, get
this thing out of here, and these guys are like,
start printing the t shirts. Guys, they should have slide
whistles that look like snakes. They pull the tails, of course,
one hundred percent well into the faces. And Bobby is
the funniest name I know.
Speaker 2 (19:50):
Bobby's the funniest name. OIF's daughters is knitting him a
jersey and they said they've had people donating their old
socks for him to wear because they're worried about him
being cold in the winter time.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
Oh God, what a what a place, what a country.
We love the Irish. We love the Irish bananals. What
a place. I want to go meet Bobby and I
also want to see some redneck Wallabies. Uh huh red
Nick Wallaby. Yeah funny. What if they're like redneck Americans?
What if they're just driving trucks with no tailgates and
rust patches everywhere and lighting bottle rockets at each other.
Speaker 2 (20:22):
Yeah, making homemade hot tubs in the back.
Speaker 1 (20:25):
Of their trucks, putting empty beer case boxes on their head,
and jumping bonfires that are made out of palletts that
they'll never clean up. The nails or screws, Nicks. They
really they really resourceful people.
Speaker 4 (20:38):
I know.
Speaker 2 (20:39):
So I'm just going to tell you this. I won't
read the rest of this because it's a BBC article.
It's very long. But some people think that the snake
hitched a ride on the back of a bird.
Speaker 1 (20:50):
I believe in Africa.
Speaker 2 (20:53):
I guess certain martins do over winter in Africa, and
it's not unheard of predatory animals taxing only piggybag piggyback
a lift and others just think it's someone's escape snake.
But with one hundred and thirty people on the island,
you can pretty quickly find out if someone had a snake,
especially a singing Saharan serpent.
Speaker 1 (21:15):
Yeah, it came in. It on a it came on
a bird.
Speaker 2 (21:18):
The number of things that I've learned in this article.
Speaker 1 (21:21):
It's a educational part.
Speaker 2 (21:22):
It's a huge number. It's more than the usual article.
Speaker 1 (21:26):
I know. We could wrap it up right now and
I would say this was a top ten episode of bananas,
but we'll keep it going because we know people have
long commutes and lots of dishes to do and are
miserable at work, and that's where we come in. Snakes
fill a void in my life, similar to lava, where
there's nothing I want to do more than like touch
(21:47):
them and experience them, but it would probably lead to
my demise. They are very attractive. And then at the
same time, you're like, when I see a rattlesnake in
Los Angeles which lived here for eleven years, twelve years,
I've probably seen six or seven total. You don't see
them off, No you don't, but I walk towards them
every time. And then something my head goes like, stop
(22:09):
walking towards this snake, you buffoon. You're going to get
bit on the ankle and die in the stupidest way.
Speaker 2 (22:15):
It is also interesting that I've never seen a small rattlesnake,
which is probably good for me, because I think the
babies sometimes just bite because they don't understand. And every
rattlesnake I've seen has been huge, like taking up the
whole width of the trail.
Speaker 1 (22:34):
Very cool, very exciting. I was walking with my friend Erica.
Shout out to Erica, I wonder if I wonder if
she listens to bananas. And we were walking Griffith Park
and I didn't know this about her, but definitely afraid
of snakes, like it's her single biggest fear. We're just
doing a normal afternoon friend hike and I saw a
rattlesnake sixty yards ahead of us, like really far, but
(22:55):
I could see it moving, and I'm like, oh, And
I just said to her, Hey, that's all I did. Hey,
And she goes, is this a snake and started running
towards where the snake was. She thought it was like
to our left or right, but I saw it so
far ahead, and I'm like no, no, no, no, no, come back.
And then she saw it, screamed and came running back
to me. But it was just a change in the
(23:15):
in my voice where I was like, hey, and she
knew that I spotted something without knowing she was definitely
afraid of them, just didn't she ran full speed towards it.
Speaker 2 (23:25):
Yeah, so funny, that's pretty great.
Speaker 1 (23:29):
But I take a photo of a snake every time
I see it, so I guess it's you know, it's
like some people take photos of their cocktails or their food.
I take pictures of the one rattlesnake I see every
three years.
Speaker 2 (23:41):
I think we're gonna I think it's only a matter
of days or months until we have a snake in
the house. I'll have loved I.
Speaker 1 (23:50):
Say so much. They're great pets. But you know, also,
are they great?
Speaker 2 (23:54):
Are they great pets?
Speaker 1 (23:57):
I like a snake. Look, I don't think you should
have a pets.
Speaker 2 (24:02):
No, I don't think you shouldn't have a pet snake.
I agree, But when you say they're great pets, I
don't know about that. I would say a great pet
is something that comes Greatsy at the door, happy to
see licks your face, Yeah, nags, its tail. It just
sits in a coil until you feed it a live animal.
Speaker 1 (24:21):
That is true. They could live a pretty long time.
Growing up, all my friends had ball pythons, so tall pythons. Yeah, yeah, lots,
So I grew up just always you know, they would
be like, hey, make sure if you handle the mice,
wash your hands first because they'll smell your hands and
bite your hand. And then they were like, oh, it's
just eight yesterday, so it would be docile and we
would just hold I would always have ball pythons.
Speaker 2 (24:43):
Yeah, wow, that's interesting.
Speaker 1 (24:45):
More than like constrictors and stuff like that. Yeah, ball
pythons were all the rage in Maryland. And then one
kid had a king snake and what's a feed It's
a black and white striped snake, but it famously eats
other snakes, which is very disturbing. So we would go
catch ringnecks and garter snakes and ribbon snakes and he
would feed them corn snakes and he would feed it
(25:06):
to the bigger king snake. And the first time I
witnessed it, it was so disturbing that I didn't ever
care to see it again. It's really gross, and you know, also,
you're a kid so you're like, oh, this is a
new experience, and then internally I'm like, I don't like
the way this feels. I don't want to witness an
unnatural death in a tank in a bedroom where guys
(25:30):
are doing bong rips. So that's childhood.
Speaker 2 (25:34):
There you go.
Speaker 1 (25:35):
It's a learning experience. Jared Walt Walbolt set this in Jareded.
I think this is his first story too. Thanks for
sending it into Jareded Walbolt. You can send it into
the Bananas Podcast on Instagram or emails. I'm actually getting
a little better at checking the emails. The Bananas Podcast
at gmail dot com. Also, Bananas is on iHeart now
(25:55):
we're on iHeart and so far it's been fantastic.
Speaker 2 (25:58):
Oh yeah, thank you.
Speaker 1 (25:59):
I heard. Yeah, we got to get some I mean
you have still a pork at Pork Business email. I
feel like we gotta get Banana Boy number two at
iHeart dot com and kurtieb at iHeart dot com. I
want some corporate emails.
Speaker 2 (26:14):
Yeah, let's get some corporate emails. I heart you listening.
Speaker 1 (26:18):
I bet they are. Jared Walbolt, thank you for sending this.
The couple with the Guinness World Record for a fifty
eight hour kiss have separated? Whoa whoa whoa? Yeah? Wait
what yeah? This was did they how did they eat?
Speaker 2 (26:41):
Did they eat?
Speaker 1 (26:41):
They they ate each other's lips and faces. I think
they snacked on each other's passion. Uh. This was edited
by rsh Deep Cower or caor sorry rsh Deep if
I got that wrong. And it was on live mint
dot com, but also other places.
Speaker 2 (27:00):
Live men where things aren't written only edited.
Speaker 1 (27:03):
Yes, thank you, arch Deep ours Deep is best in
the biz when it comes to editing. On live mint
dot com our favorite website.
Speaker 2 (27:15):
Only mint News. All right, give it to me.
Speaker 1 (27:18):
Guinness World records are often known for being weird. Sure,
good sentence, Okay.
Speaker 2 (27:24):
One such record Wait wait, I've got a question for you, Scotti.
If it's if it's edited only edited? Is this written
by Ai Scotty? Did AI write this?
Speaker 1 (27:38):
We'll find out because that first sentence was stupid.
Speaker 2 (27:40):
It was already stupid, right, dumb.
Speaker 1 (27:43):
Ai is the mediumist in the biz. One such record
captured global attention when a tie couple in twenty thirteen
kissed continuously for fifty eight hours and thirty five minutes.
Speaker 2 (27:57):
Fifty questions please answer fold days two full days and change.
Speaker 1 (28:05):
Yeah, the third of a day. The couple has now
sadly separated.
Speaker 2 (28:11):
Sadly, this seems like a wonderful news.
Speaker 1 (28:16):
Yeah, that seems like a one person had the idea
and the other one went along with it, and probably
around our thirty was like, I'm going to divorce this
person as soon as I can.
Speaker 2 (28:28):
I just want to know how their bodies were situated
to maintain it for that long. And also, does it
mean that a like a record holder representative sat and
watched two people kiss for fifty eight hours.
Speaker 1 (28:45):
There are photos and videos, so maybe it's some combination,
but I think I think people rotated in and watched
these two smooch. And who doesn't love a smooch? We
love we love a smooch on this podcast.
Speaker 2 (28:57):
Oh come on, we're not. We're not anti smooch. That's
definitely no.
Speaker 1 (29:02):
We are pro smooch on the Bananas podcast. The couple
became famous and sprung into the limelight when they broke
their record for the first time in twenty eleven. In
twenty eleven, they kissed for forty six hours and twenty
four minutes. They emerged as a symbol of love and dedication.
Speaker 2 (29:18):
Okay, so did someone did they beat it just for
fun or did someone beat theirs and they had to
beat the other persons?
Speaker 1 (29:25):
Well, I so with the record, the couple won the
grand prize of two diamond rings worth one hundred thousand
bot tie bot, which I listen, I'm not going to
leave the Banan animals screaming at their devices, going, well,
how much is that? In American naked?
Speaker 2 (29:46):
So much?
Speaker 1 (29:49):
Four dollars? So you know two of those you're you're
looking at about six grand? And six grand did Thailand
for two days of work just for smooching for smooching?
Not that ain't bad, that's a ain't that's easy money.
Speaker 2 (30:04):
It's like hands on a hard body, but it's lips
on a soft, soft, soft wet lips.
Speaker 1 (30:11):
Yeah, I uh there. The more you think about it,
it feels like a Saw movie or it's human centipede
face to face, is what we're saying.
Speaker 2 (30:20):
Yeah, is there a picture of them kissing?
Speaker 1 (30:23):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (30:24):
Okay, describe their body positions please.
Speaker 1 (30:27):
Pure stiff terror. They're standing, They're standing, Yeah, they're standing
in the photo and their eyes are closed in the
photo that I saw, So they maybe they're both very
good at transcendental meditation and they were just somewhere else.
Speaker 2 (30:42):
Yeah yeah, yeah, they were just stinging it up.
Speaker 1 (30:46):
So maybe they wanted rings again. I don't know, but
they broke the record again in twenty thirteen with an
even longer kiss. This is widely celebrated across the globe.
Of course it was. I mean, I a lot of
people think about nine to eleven or the Challenger exploding,
but I think about twenty thirteen when these two shared
the longest kiss in the world. However, in a recent
(31:07):
BBC podcast, Ekechai or Akachai said that they have now separated.
It is with a heavy heart that we share this
personal change.
Speaker 2 (31:18):
He said, they separated from the kiss, or separated like
they're no longer a couple.
Speaker 1 (31:23):
See, that's why we we need Ai not to write this,
because they mean as a couple.
Speaker 2 (31:30):
Wow, okay, yeah, I think ours deep. We need little
bit more editing.
Speaker 1 (31:34):
Yeah, a little context here, Orestep. When we're talking three
and a half days of smoochin and then you say
they separated, I have a feeling we're gonna better details.
Speaker 2 (31:45):
I don't feeling we're going to find out that our
steep's last name is learning and it's ours deep is.
Speaker 1 (31:51):
The AI he might be. He'll never hear this, so
we'll find out. The couple did not share any particular
reasons for the separation, but acknowledge that their journey was
filled with cherished moments. Well that's nice a couple. Yeah,
sometimes just doesn't work out and that's okay.
Speaker 2 (32:09):
Is your life filled with cherished moments, Scottie.
Speaker 1 (32:12):
Oh my god. From when I wake up to when
I go to bed, it's I'm like a humble doll.
I'm like, my whole life is just a cabinet of
humble dolls, and I'm just tucking them all in with
their little sleepy roalm heads. I can't think of the
last cherish moment I've had.
Speaker 2 (32:29):
I can't think of the last cherished moment I've had.
I'm sure I've had cherished moments, but I don't think
I've ever identified a moment as a cherished moment in
my life. Maybe that's our goal for next week. Yeah,
identify a cherish moment. I think that should be every
identify a cherish moment between now and next week.
Speaker 1 (32:48):
Folks, if you don't know what to toast when you
go out with your friends, just say Hey to cherished moments.
If they've remain your friend, then that is a true
friend that you need to cherish their friendship.
Speaker 2 (33:00):
Fish moments is something is is a term only used
by diamond advertisers.
Speaker 1 (33:05):
I feel like true. That's a great point. The couple
said that they continue to share a mutual respect for
each other despite the separation. And with this, the fans,
their fans, you know, all those fans and people grotesquely
kissing their partner for over two days. Yeah, are left
with the bittersweet memory of the record and the love
(33:25):
that once captured the imagination of millions. Yeah does it? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (33:30):
It does it? Here's I have so many questions. So
they're standing in the photo, I mean fifty eight hours.
They gotta shit, they gotta piss, they gotta eat right,
or they do or they were they just not doing
any of those things. They got to drink water? Do
they are they hooked up to an IV? I have
so many questions? Or do they drink together? Does a
(33:51):
tube come in and they split the water between each
mouth with their tongues?
Speaker 1 (33:58):
Great? All wonderful. So you know what, I take it back.
It does capture the imagination because we're imagining all of
the different ways that this was terrible. Yeah. Interesting, And
I think to compliment your your thoughts, the Guinness World
Record has now been replaced, so it's no longer longest
kiss World record. Now it is the longest kissing marathon.
(34:21):
The reason in a post, Ginnis said, we did this
because the competition has become too dangerous and some of
the rules conflicted with our current updated policies. There have
been several attempts of kissing contest competitors suffering the ill
effects during previous record attempts. So I think, to your point,
(34:42):
I don't think they were eating or drinking. I think
people were malnourishing themselves while smooching hard for two days.
Speaker 2 (34:49):
Oh my god. I mean, there's so many things that
sound terrible about this, and not a single sounds romantic.
Not a single one sounds romantic. It almost seems like
it's driven out of a desperation for the ring, for
the rings.
Speaker 1 (35:11):
They Yeah, maybe they wanted those diamond rings and then
they sold them and had a nice trip where they
slept in separate beds and didn't look or talk to
each other. They they were like, I got it. I
understand somebody once told me that American football, NFL football,
that the reason people enjoy it is it's from the
moment the ball leaves the quarterback's hand until it hits
(35:34):
the receiver's hands, and in that space of time all
the feeling of hope and that we want something great
to happen, or maybe something battle happened. The anticipation of
when the ball leaves the quarterbacks hand until it's caught
either by the offensive defense is what makes football thrilling.
That's the main thing that draws people to it, which
is interesting if you think about it.
Speaker 2 (35:56):
Also, it's such a small small part of the game.
Speaker 1 (36:00):
They run it a lot. There's kicking, there's punting, all
there's all sorts of things that can go sideways. But
I understand, I do understand the it's the hope and
the anticipation that something great might happen. In similar way,
I think the moment they start kissing and the moment
they stop kissing, Yeah, are the only interesting parts of
this entire thing. Oh yeah, I think the middle is disgusting.
(36:23):
It's horrific, disgusting. It is a saw a movie.
Speaker 2 (36:26):
And I always think about whenever I hear about these
kind of you know Guinness World Records. I always think
about the marathon. Do you remember the Dell Close Memorial Marathon.
Speaker 1 (36:38):
Yeah, I went to several of them. I'm sure I
saw you perform at some of them.
Speaker 2 (36:41):
Yeah, definitely. It was so this was back in the day,
late nineties, early two thousand's UCB New York City. Maybe
they still do it. I doubt they do, but it
was seventy two hours of improv NonStop.
Speaker 1 (36:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (36:59):
So you get an hour long time slot and then
you would like show up and do your thing and
we it would always be I would always get a
time slot at like four in the morning or five
in the morning. And that feeling, that vibe when you
walk in Sunday morning at five a four thirty in
(37:19):
the morning, where there's one to two people in the
audience and you're just doing it just for the sake
of doing it. There's not no joy, it's just going
through the motions. That is what I think about whenever
I think of any you know, long distance or long
haul worldwide marathon.
Speaker 1 (37:42):
Durrance, it's gross.
Speaker 2 (37:44):
The whole thing's gross.
Speaker 1 (37:46):
Yeah, I definitely got you know, those calls or emails
or texts are like, hey, our show starts at four
Will you come? And me being nuwde to New York
and wanting to infiltrate the comedy scene. I went to
a lot of those things and often it would be
me and you know, six seven other people, and totally
I'm glad it was there. I think people would be like, thanks,
(38:09):
you showed up, and then I would never do that now,
Oh no, with age and success, it's like those days.
That's a young man's game. When you're twenty three and
you just want people to know who you are, you
go do a lot of dumb shit. But he you know,
at that time, we all thought improv was going to
change the world.
Speaker 2 (38:29):
I really did. I really like had dranking the kool aid.
Speaker 1 (38:33):
It's no problem.
Speaker 2 (38:38):
Here it is. Cia found the arc of the Covenant
by using psychics.
Speaker 1 (38:42):
Great, perfect, I mean perfect. Here's some thumbs up. Yes,
Shane is thumbing up her friend Austin, who chose sobriety
one hundred and eighty days ago and is struggling but
winning every day. He's doing the work and both mental
health and body health therapy and reconnecting with nature something
we love. We love. Yes, Shane and Josh are so
(39:03):
proud of you, Austin and happy to consider you and
call you family.
Speaker 2 (39:08):
Thumbs up.
Speaker 1 (39:08):
Very nice. Thumbs up. That's a like a double and
a half dry sixty nine. Good for you. Cassie is
thumbing herself up. She completed her training and I Movement
Desensitation and Reprocessing emd R therapy and is halfway to
her certification.
Speaker 2 (39:24):
That's cool.
Speaker 1 (39:25):
It was a fifty six hour training, but it was
so worth it. Cassie, You're going to help so many
people in this life. Thumbs up to you for caring
about others.
Speaker 2 (39:34):
Thumbs up.
Speaker 1 (39:35):
Courtney Miranda is thumbing herself way up for quitting a
job without having another one lined up, because she says
she already is happier than she's been in years. That's great.
Quittin's good.
Speaker 2 (39:47):
Yeah, good job.
Speaker 1 (39:48):
That segues into this one. P K in Texas says, quote,
I've never written to a podcast before, but last week
I listened to One Thousand Ways to Invade a Home
WHI it was a bananas episode and wanted to give
the Banana Boys a thumbs up. This is super mushy
and saptacular. That's okay, so were we Yeah, we love it.
We love a smooch, we love a saptacular. But Scotty said,
(40:12):
I'm a huge fan of endings, and then you guys
both had such a positive perspective around Kurt's ending of
the Hot Tub Show that it gave me the courage
to make some much needed changes in my life. Nothing humongous,
but I now look at changes with less fear and
with more opportunity in mind.
Speaker 2 (40:31):
Thumbs up, thank you, Thumbs up to you.
Speaker 1 (40:34):
Kay, thumbs up for taking some chances. And it is
true I do love an ending, maybe more than I should,
but I do. I think it's wonderful. That's them all.
Speaker 2 (40:45):
That's all the thumbs up.
Speaker 1 (40:46):
That's all four thumbs ups for me.
Speaker 2 (40:47):
Thank you everybody who sends in your thumbs up, and
of course you can send your stories to us on
our Instagram, at the Bananas Podcast or at the Bananas
Podcast at gmail dot com.
Speaker 1 (41:00):
Mmmmmm, this one's got here we go. You got one
about uh, what the hell was it? Oh?
Speaker 2 (41:05):
Cia?
Speaker 1 (41:07):
The Covenant?
Speaker 2 (41:08):
Yeah, this was and the Independent Oh the Ladies by
James Liddell.
Speaker 1 (41:17):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (41:18):
James. Cia found the arc of the Covenant by using
psychics declassified files. Claim. Okay, so this is okay to
classified CIA documents claim that the mystical arc of the
Covenant was located by a psychic decades ago in the
Middle East. As part of one of the intelligence agencies
experimental secret projects in the nineteen eighties, the Ark of
(41:39):
the Covenant was thrust back into the spotlight as globe
trotting archaeologist, of course, raiders of the lost Arc. Then
they explain what the arc of the Covenant is. ARCA,
the Covenant holds the Ten Commandments. That's the idea of it.
Speaker 4 (41:51):
Uh.
Speaker 2 (41:51):
The CIA conducted experiments as part of the secret projects
Sun Streak with individuals known as quote remote viewers, a
type of clairvoyant who claim they could project their consciousness
to receive information about far away objects. There's no credible
scientific evidence the remote viewing exists, since generally regarded as pseudoscience.
That's what the But then there's I mean, it's you
(42:14):
can look at the actual declassified piece of paper here
it says Project Sunstreet warning notice intelligence sources and methods involved,
and then it just has Viewer thirty two attained excellent
site contact, doing very well with Stage four structure. Viewers
also exhibits the ability to aol to a minimum need
(42:38):
to be careful with editing. Rough This does not seem
to be a problem at the time, just something to
watch for. I mean the fact that so I read
this entire book. Have you read Did you read this book?
John Ronson's The Men Who Stare At Goats?
Speaker 1 (42:51):
No, I'm familiar with it though.
Speaker 2 (42:53):
Oh it is so so good. Everyone go out. It's
called The Men Who Stare At Goats. They George Clooney
made a movie based on it. That that that was
not really what the book is. So the book is
all about these these programs like mk Ultra programs in
the CIA during the sixties, seventies and eighties that involved
(43:18):
like all sorts of looney tune stuff. Like one thing.
The reason it's called the Menu Steric Goats is that
like they just kept trying to get people to make
a goat's hard explode by like looking at it from
across the room, and it never never happened. It never worked, surprising,
but it was millions and millions of dollars put.
Speaker 1 (43:37):
In taking acid and stuff right like they would, yeah,
they would like trip super hard and then stare at
goats and try to make its heart explode.
Speaker 2 (43:44):
Yeah, but this was a whole part of it. These
remote viewers were there. Some of them were like quote
unquote seconds, but these were CIA operatives, so that they
were uh, they were taken from the military. So these
were like military guys who would just like go in
a room and then they were like told, like, this
is this is the box, like look for a box,
and then they would just imagine and say this is
(44:06):
where the box is. And the best part about all
of it is that it was never they never went
to go see where the arc was. They're like, here's
where it is, and then they went to go see it.
I think the whole point that they were like excited
about is that they didn't tell the remote viewer that
it was the Ark of the Covenant. They just said,
you're looking for a box made of gold and wood. Uh,
(44:29):
and it inside that container is another container. That's what
they said. And then they described essentially a scene from
the Middle East, and then they're like, bing, we got it,
we did it. Good job, But do they have it.
Speaker 1 (44:45):
I've never seen it. That feels like that would be
bigger news than two people kissing for two and a
half days. Yeah, where the hell's the ark? Of the Covenant.
I want to see it.
Speaker 2 (44:53):
No, they never got it. They never went got it.
There wasn't enough specific information in the description to actually
physic located.
Speaker 1 (45:02):
This reminds me of our good friend J. C. Catlin's
tweet back in the day when Twitter was fun and awesome.
That was the one that was like, I used to
think I could control ducks with my mind, but it
turns out ducks and I have very similar ideas about
what stuff ducks should do. And it's right, like, if
you stare there and not go over there, duck, eat that,
eat that piece of bread, Now jump in the water,
(45:22):
Now shake your tail, and then you go, that's just
what ducks are up to. And part of this is
like I'm picturing a box inside of another box. It's
like if you've looked at television, movies, magazines, and then
your own personal life experience, and you sat down and
close your eyes and started imagining things you could put
and you have ten people doing it, somebody is going
to be right. It's in the closet up to the left,
(45:43):
under a pair of old shoes, like, yeah, well this
is just imagining.
Speaker 2 (45:48):
This is what they this is what they were told.
The person was told target is a container. This container
has and this is all quotes. This container has another
container inside of it. The target is fashioned of wood, gold,
and silk, similar in shape to a coffin, and decorated
with a seraphim. Okay, so that's what they told the person.
(46:09):
I'm like, it's nineteen eighty eight. Yeah, it's not that
long ago that Raiders of the Lost Star game out.
Speaker 1 (46:19):
It was really close to it seven years later.
Speaker 2 (46:22):
It's in the front of your brain. It's decorated with
a seraphim. I mean like and then they're just like
they draw and then the person draws, sah, it means.
Speaker 1 (46:32):
It's on fire. Right, isn't seraphim a fire thing? I
thought it was seraphim? Was you you melted something with fire?
But I don't know.
Speaker 2 (46:40):
Maybe seraphim is it's got wings and it's got it's
like a it's a mythical beast.
Speaker 1 (46:47):
Oh okay, yeah yeah, yeah, okay, Oh, then it's definitely true.
Yeah yeah yeah.
Speaker 2 (46:53):
So then the person who's just said that there is
an aspect of spirituality, information, lessons, and the historical knowledge
far beyond what we know, or if you're number thirty
two continued the target is protected by entities and can
only be opened by those who are authorized to do so.
This container will not cannot be opened until the time
is deemed correct. I mean literally, it's just him, a
person remembering details from the Raiders of the Lost Ar exactly.
(47:17):
Individuals opening the container by prying or striking are destroyed
by the container's protectors through the use of a power
unknown to us. He's just it's just grown adults sitting
in a room and one person describing a scene from
Indiana Jones. Yeah, and the other person writing it down
and classifying it as a top secret information. It's so cood.
(47:41):
I love it. I love the military. Thank you so
much for what you do.
Speaker 1 (47:45):
Yeah. Pre Internet, it was so easy just to say
things confidently and nobody could prove you wrong. And if
you said I swear to God, they were like, well
he swear to God? Or I swear my mother's life.
Then you go like, damn, they must really mean this.
They must be great. Cobra's out there. Seraphim are supernatural beings. Interesting. Yeah,
(48:06):
ill Seraphim from Sister Act. That will be Goldberg movie
because I think she sings about seraphim and like ave
Marie or something. Yeah, I want this movie.
Speaker 2 (48:15):
By the way, I want to see exactly what Saraphim
the highest in Christian archaeology. The Seraphim are the highest
ranking celestial beings in the hierarchy of angels. Their four
winged cherubim they're painted blue and the six wing oh
six wings Seraphim are red, symbolizing fire. Okay, there you go.
Speaker 1 (48:37):
I thought it was fire. Yeah, I'm an idiot. That's fun.
Speaker 2 (48:41):
It's a seraphim angel, you.
Speaker 1 (48:44):
Know, speaking of wings. Oh yeah, guys, guyles non binary pier're.
Speaker 2 (48:49):
Talking about Red Bull? Are you gonna talk about talking.
Speaker 1 (48:51):
About Red Bull? No? God, I've already done that too
much on this podcast. It is baseball season and this
is just a friendly reminder to those who have it
or have you. Go on YouTube and search for Scott
Stap Marlins Will Soar. Last year I mentioned this. It
is one of my favorite songs, but when baseball season
(49:12):
kicks off every year, I revisit it myself and for
those who don't know what I'm talking about. Scott's Stapp
was the singer of the band Creed. Whether you like
them or hate them or just laugh at them every
time you hear them, which is what I do. And
when he started, you got kicked out of the band.
Things weren't quite working out in his personal life. I
(49:34):
think he saw cash grab opportunity as a Floridian to
sing an anthem of his own making for the Florida Marlins,
making not commissioned an uncommissioned song called Marlins Will Soar.
It has baseball sound effects, but ultimately it's mostly like
a bad Creed song where he just it's like he
(49:58):
googled baseball term monology and then just start saying them
as lyrics. The first lyric is let's play ball, It's
game day, and then it gets so good and it
was never.
Speaker 2 (50:12):
Used by the Marlins.
Speaker 1 (50:14):
I just to this day, I don't think it has,
which is a major loss because it's so stupid. They
should start every game when the Marlins run out into
the field, they should have a flying dolphin or just
a seraphim flying over the crowd, and they should play
Marlins Will sort. I encourage everyone to take two minutes,
very short song. It doesn't have a third vorse verse.
(50:38):
Marlins Will source Scott's stap Treat yourself. If you're in
a band, cover it this week at the local bar
that you please rock out to it all. Leave this one.
It's a good one. Sean Fister sent this in. Maybe
I'll do it on our next episode. Two scientists have
developed sensors that can heal bones in weeks not months.
(51:00):
Oh pretty interesting, I'm interested, Barns for Upworthy. That's real.
University of organ scientists have created potential medical breakthrough or
a mend through the research of created tiny implants that
can help speed up the healing process of mending broken bones.
If you've suffered a broken bone, you know, proper healing
(51:20):
blah blah blah takes a long time. These will encourage
bones to build strength quicker and heal faster. What are these?
Speaker 2 (51:31):
What are they? They are they get injected into you?
Are they nanobots?
Speaker 1 (51:37):
The implants significantly improve the healing time for broken femurs
and labrats, cutting down on the healing time from four
to six months down to eight weeks. Okay, so that's
two months. So yeah, it's funny that they would do that. Yeah,
bone sensors, and they I'm trying to look at the
exact thing that they say they are. They just keep
(51:58):
seeing bone sensors.
Speaker 2 (52:00):
Classic bone sensors.
Speaker 1 (52:01):
Small implants with sensors that provide data in real time
to the injury site to help better determine if the
bone needs more resistance rehab or if it has been overworked.
Speaker 2 (52:11):
Oh okay, so you can just so useful monitoring. Okay, right, right,
so you're like got to do things to it to
help it go. But okay, that's great. Congratulations, Yeah, congratulations
specifically to those mice.
Speaker 1 (52:26):
Congratulating those are out there just jogging on treadmills and
taking pilloxing classes and getting fit twenty twenty five. We're
taking care of our bodies so our bodies could take
care of it.
Speaker 2 (52:38):
So happy you said polloxing. You said ploxing last night too.
I was like the first time I heard it, and
this is the second time I'm be hearing.
Speaker 1 (52:47):
It and all, and I've never done it and never will.
That's my promise to you. I don't combine things.
Speaker 2 (52:54):
Well, folks, that has been bananas. Thank you so much, Scottie.
Speaker 1 (52:58):
Yeah, so thank you, KURTI Beeth, thanks to exactly right.
I heart Katie Levine, our producer, Lisa Maggott, our full
time human, part time intern, part time employee. Everybody that
makes many as possible. We love doing it. We hope
you love listening to it.
Speaker 4 (53:13):
Man, Bananas Bananas is an exactly right media production.
Speaker 2 (53:29):
Our producer and engineer is Katie Levine.
Speaker 1 (53:31):
The catchy Bananas theme song was composed and performed by Kahan.
Speaker 2 (53:35):
Artwork for Bananas was designed by Travis Millard.
Speaker 1 (53:38):
And our benevolent overlords are the Great Karen Kilgareff and
Georgia Hertstart
Speaker 2 (53:42):
And Lisa Maggott is our full human, not a robot
intern
Host
Scotty Landes
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