June 8, 2021 • 56 mins
Yeardley Smith (The Simpsons, Small Town Dicks podcast) chats with Kurt and Scotty about Russia trying to clone a 3,000 year old army, an Australian woman who came out surgery with an Irish accent, a Sister who collects skulls, a 29 year old who posed as a high schooler to promote her Instagram and a woman named Crystal Metheny who was arrested for firing a missile into a car!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Alrighty Scott, are you're ready?
Speaker 2 (00:02):
Hey, Kurtie, b I hear, I hear you still got
that scratchy comedy voice over there.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
I still do.
Speaker 3 (00:08):
I blew my voice out so long ago, and it's
still fucked up like.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
I like it. You're like a cigar smoker, now, I.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
Know, right, it's it's just a little bit lower, a
little bit more fun. Are you ready for a headline?
Speaker 2 (00:23):
Hit me, buddy?
Speaker 3 (00:25):
Russia is going to try to clone an army of
three thousand year old Scythian warriors.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Okay, I understood the Russian part. I understood the warriors part.
So let's just get into it on another fabulous episode
of Bananas Podcast.
Speaker 3 (00:42):
Still understand you, my sillion pieces, ladies and gentlemen.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
Welcome to Bananas.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
I am Kurt Brown, older, I am Scotti Landis. Thank
you for listening to the silliest little podcast that ever was.
And sometimes we goof up top, but we have an
extra special guest today, so I think we should get
right into it. Curdie.
Speaker 3 (01:21):
Our guest today is an actor, a podcaster, an artist.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
A writer.
Speaker 3 (01:26):
You will of course recognize her as the voice of
Lisa Simpson or from her true crime podcast Small Town Dix.
She's got a new cooking show, Oil and Water, out
every other Wednesday on YouTube and i G TV. Please
welcome the very wonderful Yardley Smith.
Speaker 4 (01:43):
Right, they can't see me waving my arms, big cheer,
going wild.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
We love excitement, Yardley. We're very happy about this.
Speaker 4 (01:53):
Hey, I wanted to wish you a happy anniversary, didn't you.
Guys you just celebrated one year.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
Yes, yes, we did.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
We did. We had our one year bananniversary.
Speaker 5 (02:02):
We had the bananiversary.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
Yes, so far, so good.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
We're into year two and we haven't gotten you know,
booted yet.
Speaker 5 (02:10):
Bravo you. It's not easily done. I know it.
Speaker 3 (02:12):
Yes, oh yeah, yeah, it is a You know, the
Banannimals have been very accepting and we appreciate them forever.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
And Yardley for your podcast. Have you did you start
in studio and move your way out to this zoom
weird world that we just talked through screens of each other.
Speaker 4 (02:32):
No, actually, we have almost never recorded in a studio
for Small Town Dix. We would we sometimes travel to
the small town where our detectives are. Yes, all of
our stories are told by the detectives who investigated them.
So oftentimes we'd be in a conference room that's not
at all soundproof. And we have two extraordinary editors, like
(02:59):
actual technical editors. I edit on paper, but they know
the pro tools and all that stuff, and we have.
Speaker 5 (03:06):
Really good equipment.
Speaker 4 (03:07):
Yes, so that helps a great deal. But but we
also I do all the you know, if there are pickups,
and sometimes there are you know, when you listen back
and something doesn't quite make sense or somebody's whatever the
case may be, I do We often do.
Speaker 5 (03:24):
I'll do those pickups in my dining room.
Speaker 4 (03:26):
Yes, and so yes, we did sort of shift to
zoom and now we have little portable recording kits that
we will send out to our guests. We actually literally
sent them to Scotland. We had two Scottish guests this season,
so we sent them overseas and we couldn't you know,
obviously we have some funds, but we don't have those
(03:48):
fucking kind of funs. So we were not bringing the
whole crew to Scotland yet, not yet.
Speaker 1 (03:55):
Yeah, nine, season nine, you're going to be there, thank you.
Speaker 5 (03:58):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
One thing I really like about that podcast is it's
the same one thing when you're chiming in a lot
It's what I do when I'm watching date Lines or
any true crime show where I'm commenting and you do
that and it makes me so happy. I'll be like,
but wait, where was the body? And that's like when
I'll do at home, and then Dan or Dave will
be like, you found the body in the basement, and yes.
Speaker 4 (04:21):
And you know now I So, for those who don't know,
I'm actually engaged to detective Dan, so I co host
with identical twin detectives Dan and Dave.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
Amazing and.
Speaker 4 (04:34):
It was born out of me when I started to date.
Danny didn't live in I live in California, didn't live
in California, and so I would go see him and
his brother, Dave lived literally like a block away. So
he would come over on a Thursday and just download
their week and your hair would be on fire because
you're like, what that was just Wednesday?
Speaker 5 (04:54):
Like wow, fuck me, it was wow.
Speaker 4 (04:56):
It's such a very specific kind of of person, a
very specific kind of internal makeup. I think, who that
person who's willing to every time they leave their house,
the person you're going to encounter on your job is
probably having their worst day.
Speaker 5 (05:11):
Yes, yeah, so they that was all that.
Speaker 4 (05:14):
Storytelling is really how the podcast was born. So now
Dan lives with me, and to watch true crime with
a detective not always fun or scripted, because you'd be like, oh,
I know who did it, and you're three minutes in
you're like, well zip it, ni bubs, like give me
a fucking brain, give me a chance. Here.
Speaker 3 (05:36):
It's like watching a stand up special with a stand
up comic work. Now they don't laugh, no, just like
judging it the whole time is dumb.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
Worst.
Speaker 4 (05:45):
It's really actually, speaking of stand up, it's very hard
to get the Simpsons.
Speaker 5 (05:49):
Writers to laugh.
Speaker 4 (05:50):
Yes, life, they'll laugh at jokes in the script because
I think they're so excited finally to hear the actors
read those jokes. But if you're telling them a story
about something, it's.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
Like, I am also a TV writer And the question
people are the common I guess people ask or say
the most is like it must be so fun. You
guys just must crack each other up all day, and
I'm like, uh, we laugh and burst. There'll be like
a twenty fifteen minute burst like at three pm where
we're all a little delirious and we're having a great time.
But up until that point, it's just us logically trying
(06:25):
to figure out story puzzles. Basic.
Speaker 3 (06:26):
The amount of logic that goes into absurdity is horrifying.
Speaker 4 (06:30):
I think people really don't realize that that it's an
incredibly difficult job. To be funny it is, and to
be consistently funny it is.
Speaker 5 (06:41):
It's not. It ain't for the faint of heart. I'll
tell you that, no, it is not.
Speaker 2 (06:46):
It is you fail more than you win.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
Exactly.
Speaker 3 (06:49):
Well, yardly, do you want to hear the funniest story?
Speaker 1 (06:54):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (06:54):
What about the Russian warriors?
Speaker 3 (06:56):
Someone had the hell the not the I ain't the
stuff heart. I'm looking for a good segue here. I
didn't get one on that one.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
COmON writing is a battlefield, a battlefield that needs constant
replenishment from people all around the country who flock to
Los Angeles, California.
Speaker 4 (07:15):
Indeed, I actually have a good segue about Russia. Oh yeah,
your headline if you like. Okay, So my father, when
my father was a journalist for the Washington Post for
my entire life. He got that job I think when
I was about three years old. But prior to that,
he was a journalist for the UPI, which is like
(07:36):
Associated Press. It stood for United Press International, right. Yes,
And he was stationed in Poland and Russia during the
Cold War.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
No, yes, holy.
Speaker 4 (07:46):
So my mother followed him over there when they were engaged.
And so I was born in sixty four. I have
a brother who was born in sixty three. My parents
and my parents were not yet married when they were
in Russia, and the Russians said to them, literally, we'll
tell you when you can get married. And then it
was like, oh, it's Monday, you can get married Friday.
Speaker 1 (08:09):
Oh my god.
Speaker 4 (08:11):
Yes, And you couldn't you could, I mean at that
time you couldn't. Maybe perhaps now also, you couldn't just
bop over like, oh, you get married in five days,
I'll be there, you know, absolutely not. And so there's
and there is one photo that remains from their wedding.
They get married, and I think they get married in
(08:32):
the American consulate or the American embassy. My mother's wearing
a not a like a full wedding gown. She's wearing
a simple white dress exactly whatever you could get your
hands on, right, And one photograph. They packed the photos
(08:52):
that they had in their luggage, and when they came
back to the states only one.
Speaker 3 (08:56):
Was left, just that photo from their wedding. Oh my god,
they took all of them.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
They gave them one.
Speaker 5 (09:04):
I know, I know.
Speaker 4 (09:06):
And and they used to whenever they would have anything
important to talk about, they would go into the bathroom
and turn on the water because they knew the apartment
was bugged. And it didn't even mean, you know, they
could be talking about their own families, but anything that
was important to them, they would make sure that they
(09:27):
had at least some measure of privacy.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (09:31):
Wow, that's pretty insane.
Speaker 2 (09:34):
I mean I feel that way in every Airbnb I've
ever stayed in in my life.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
I should I'm.
Speaker 2 (09:41):
Exactly looking for nanny bears, and like, I'm like, is
that spying on me?
Speaker 1 (09:46):
What's spying on me?
Speaker 2 (09:48):
So I've gotten really good at nude dancing. I stripped
tease down, I get in the shower, I stripped I
reverse stripped teas back into my overalls.
Speaker 5 (09:57):
Very clever.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
Thank you, all right, Curdie b hit us with the
Russian Warriors. Sorry, we keep right with lovely stories.
Speaker 3 (10:03):
This is pop from Popular Mechanics, sent in by the
art of Wes Brooks, who is sent in.
Speaker 1 (10:09):
A lot of stories he's also a very great artist.
Speaker 3 (10:12):
So Russia is going to clone an army of three
thousand year old Scythian warriors. This is the weirdest story man.
This is by I believe, best in the biz. Caroline
Delbert is.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
That she's number one. All the Pulitzers go to her.
Speaker 3 (10:30):
One letter away from Dilbert. Oh god, here it is.
When you hold a job like Defense Minister of Russia,
you presumably have to be bold and think outside the
box to protect your country from enemy advances. And with
his latest strategic idea cloning an entire army of ancient
warriors Sergui Shorgu show sh Shoigua, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (10:52):
Isaiah is certainly taking a big swing.
Speaker 3 (10:54):
In an online session of the Russian Geographical Society last month,
shoygu oh Sally, a close ally of Putin, suggested using
the DNA of three thousand year old Scythian warriors to
potentially bring them back to life.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
Yes, really, And then it gives.
Speaker 3 (11:12):
Some background the city people, Okay, there was they were
from modern day Iran. There were nomads who traveled around
Eurasia ninth and second centuries, apparently known for being a
warrior and then his quote is, of course, we would
like very much to find the organic matter. And I
believe you understand what would follow that. And then I
(11:33):
think he winked for a thousand years. Okay, he said
it would be possible to make something of it, if
not Dolly the Sheep, in general, it will be very interesting,
so very coyly suggesting he's going to clone an army. Also,
I love popular mechanics. Popular mechanics has really gone the
(11:54):
way of reality TV, where it says Russia is going
to clone, and this guy was like a Winkie winkie,
maybe we'll clone.
Speaker 4 (12:04):
But back to Dolly the Sheep, did he not has
he not heard of that legacy of that story of
how that went not so well?
Speaker 1 (12:12):
Not what happened to Dolly the Sheep. I don't know
what happened to Dolly the Sheep.
Speaker 4 (12:16):
They cloned her fairly successfully, but the problem was that
her lifespan was considerably shortened and or she yeah, she
like she didn't have as good an immune system. It's
just not It's not like you know, taking a post
it and then cutting it in half and going, oh,
now I have two halves of a same post it.
Speaker 5 (12:36):
It's not like that.
Speaker 1 (12:37):
It's a xerox. It's a xerox. Yeah, it's like.
Speaker 5 (12:40):
That movie with Michael Keaton.
Speaker 4 (12:43):
Multiplicity, Multiplicity Each It's a little bit dumber.
Speaker 1 (12:49):
What a funny idea.
Speaker 3 (12:50):
I remember watching Multiplicity, I mean, homesick from school. Multiplicity
really tickled my buttons out.
Speaker 4 (12:56):
I feel like you could never make that movie now,
not not quite like gotten.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
Right with all those No, no, yeah, that doesn't happen anymore.
And for the best, by the way.
Speaker 1 (13:06):
And maybe good sure we've grown. Does Russia have a
shortage of people?
Speaker 2 (13:12):
It seems like Russia is a gigantic country with tons
of soldiers.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
This just seems insane.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
Like the Russian movies.
Speaker 3 (13:20):
There unique I you know, I dated a Russian woman
for thirteen years. Yes, and her parents hated me from
the moment they met me, almost almost I think. Okay,
so this is this around year eleven. We all went
they have known me for eleven years from age eighteen
(13:42):
I'm now twenty nine. We go on vacation with her
family to I don't know where, North Carolina or something.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
And Russia, very Russian place.
Speaker 3 (13:51):
It's very hot out and uh, and I just can't
I cannot deal being around the family anymore. So I
go outside and I'd never done this but four around
her family. But I got stoned by myself in the
backyard and then I come in and then immediately her dad,
who's like very severe, was like, he just hands me
all of this meat, and he's like, you grill the meat,
(14:13):
and I'm not even gonna do a Russian accent, and I.
Speaker 1 (14:15):
Was like, uh oh no.
Speaker 3 (14:17):
And then so the whole family is just watching me grill,
and I was so paranoid that I just I never
stopped flipping any piece of meat for thirty straight minutes.
And then I served it and it was the plump, juiciest,
plumpest meat.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
It was perfect because someone just flipped it over and over.
It was like rotisserie chicken essentially. And then from that
moment on they liked me.
Speaker 3 (14:45):
And I was like, that's all I needed to do
was get stoned, and then you guys are gonna love me.
Speaker 1 (14:50):
Yeah, they love me after that. It was the weirdest thing, dude.
Speaker 4 (14:54):
Yeah, yeah, and you only had two years left, which
you may or may not have known exactly.
Speaker 1 (14:59):
No, I did.
Speaker 2 (15:00):
No, that's magic. Wow. The brown Oler method of cooking.
Just whatever it is, touch it as many times as
possible until you think it's servable, and then clinch your
butt cheeks and hope we love it. That's what we
all do when we're cooking.
Speaker 5 (15:16):
Though, yeah sure, no, no we don't.
Speaker 2 (15:19):
Oh yes, you move confidently in the kitchen.
Speaker 1 (15:22):
That is stress and it's like jazz. It's your improvising
as you go. It's really nice to watch.
Speaker 5 (15:29):
Thank you.
Speaker 4 (15:29):
Yes, I think you are hopefully perhaps referring to oil
and water, which is my I call it dumb entertainment
for traveling times.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
Well you're in good company yardly. Yeah, entertainment as well.
But you get let people know the setup of the show.
Speaker 4 (15:47):
Oh yeah, so it's really a game and I cook
so and each episode is about six to eight minutes long,
and I actually am quite good cook. But while we're
all in lockdown and quarantine, I was like, well, well
you know, how could I Well it started actually with
I used to do a little thing on my Instagram
called Simpson's Sunday where I would talk tell you a story,
(16:10):
something about behind the scenes sometimes when you know in
the before times, I would bring you to my ADR
session amazing and it was great and it was really
fun in one of those little mini tidbits because they
were all about less than two minutes and twenty seconds.
Because I used to post them on Twitter as well.
Speaker 1 (16:28):
That's great, I did.
Speaker 4 (16:30):
I cooked a recipe from one of the Tracy Almond shorts.
Oh yes, where Homer makes bart dinner by basically smashing
together ground pork and ground fish and makes porkified fish nuge.
Speaker 5 (16:45):
And so I thought I could do that.
Speaker 4 (16:48):
So it was a slightly longer since the Sunday we
put it on Instagram and people really really loved it.
And then it gave me this idea, wouldn't it be
fun to come up with a cooking show that's not
unlike Chopped, Although I draw a sweet thing, a sweet ingredient,
a savory ingredient, and then a thing like it's a pie,
it's a cake, it's a soup, it's a pandouty or whatever,
(17:11):
and then I have to combine my sweet and savory
thing into the thing. Yes, And so that's the that's
oil and water.
Speaker 5 (17:19):
That's the game.
Speaker 4 (17:19):
And there's a lot of swearing that we leave out.
There's and also I'm I'm a little fast and loose
in the kitchen, and part of the point is there
are very few fatal mistakes and cooking very few, and
hoping that it will give people confidence to take a
recipe and as a leaping off point, right.
Speaker 5 (17:41):
Or just to try it. Who fucking cares if it doesn't,
you'll be all right, You'll be all right. So it's fun,
it's really fun.
Speaker 3 (17:49):
I've heard, yeah, that that cooking is that kind of
like you can kind of like fudge things here and there,
but baking is like that's where you get fucked if
you do it wrong.
Speaker 4 (17:59):
Baking is very scientific because it has to do with
things reacting to other things and sort of how much
time you might have. For instance, so you know, baking powder,
when you've added to a baked good, you have to
get that fucker in the oven right away because you know,
the reaction doesn't last very long. Baking soda, on the
other hand, you can linger a little bit more. But
(18:20):
they do different things et cetera, et cetera. So, yes,
baking you actually want to pay attention to how you
combine any ingredients, how much you mix them, et cetera,
et cetera.
Speaker 5 (18:30):
But cooking is a lot there's a lot more rope
to hang yourself.
Speaker 2 (18:34):
Yes, yeah, I was watching and I said this before
we started recording. But one of the joys of Oil
and Water is when you make something like, for example,
there was a cinnamon roll and chili enchiladas, and I
thought this could turn out because I've sort of had
like molet sauce is a little sweet and savory, and
(18:56):
when you took that bite, I was like, she either
is about to throw up or enjoying the flavor profile,
and that one was kind of you kind of liked it.
Speaker 4 (19:05):
It wasn't terrible, which is high praise on Oil and Water.
Speaker 1 (19:09):
It's not terrible.
Speaker 5 (19:11):
High praise.
Speaker 4 (19:13):
Yes, boy, I've made some terrible things, Like we did
a Halloween episode where I went pre determined that the
thing was going to be a candy apple because it's Halloween,
but the two ingredients had all be orange, like the
savory bowl and sweet ball both had only orange things
in it, and those were random. And I chose skittles,
which aren't all orange, but you take the point and
(19:36):
salmon row, which is orange and disgusting. Yes, And I
put it on a candy apple with my hail Marios
get a hail mary to try to sort of bring
two opposite ends together in the sweet and savory and
in this case is white chocolate.
Speaker 5 (19:53):
And boy, that was fuck wo Yeah. I actually had
deced it on.
Speaker 3 (19:58):
A fire.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
So that it would never exist again. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (20:03):
Actually literally, when.
Speaker 2 (20:05):
I was a little kid, we my aunts and uncles
will come in town from California for some of the holidays.
Speaker 1 (20:10):
I grew up in Maryland, and my grandmother would have
that you're from.
Speaker 2 (20:14):
Washington, DC. Yes, I saw that. I it's a good no, no, no,
I drove down. Do you know the Black Aggie statue,
the haunted statue. It's from Druid Hill Park, Maryland, but
now it's in Washington, d C. It's a very creepy
haunted statue that I'm writing something about now, and I
went down to visit it, and it's even scarier in
(20:36):
real life. Oh, it is so disturbing.
Speaker 1 (20:39):
I remember when it was in Druid Hill.
Speaker 2 (20:41):
Yes, they removed it. They put in the Smithsonian and
people were freaking out looking at it, so they got
rid of it then too. It's like this very it's
a long history of this former statue that a general
had a sculptor steal the design of a sculpture called
Grief and at certain times a day this it's a
veiled woman sitting there are motionless, and then the darkness
(21:02):
covers her face. Black Aggie is so creepy. But it's
currently just behind a federal office building in a courtyard
and it's a little it's like the Dolly Madison House
or something. It's if you're ever in DC visiting, folks,
go freak yourself out. Okay, So my grandmother, who was
a fantastic, fantastic cook, she was overwhelmed with the four
(21:24):
of us the grandkids, took us out to dinner at
an Italian place, came home, did the dishes, and the
next morning my parents came in and they're like, Mom,
why are their eggs on the ceiling? And she's like what?
And there were six eggs stuck to the ceiling in
the kitchen and she had been hard boiling eggs for
Easter eggs around Easter and left them in to take
(21:46):
us out to the restaurant, and they boiled over and
then the water went away and they were so hot
they became explosive and rocketed straight up and they just
stuck to the ceiling like pencils in a bathroom and
like in elementary school, and we could spell it, but
everybody was like, what is that? And then some smart
person just looks up and sees half a dozen eggs
(22:07):
sticking to the ceiling and.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
Whoa, oh, I love that.
Speaker 4 (22:13):
See that's that's like it's like kitchen MythBusters. That is
a damn good story, Scottie, you.
Speaker 1 (22:22):
Thank you well.
Speaker 2 (22:23):
Let's transition into another real story. How about that famay
hardly picked out specifically for you. You're such a great
voice actor, you'll I think you'll get a kick out
of this. This is from Sylvia Thompson at Irish Times
dot com. We love we check in with Irish Times
dot com.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
This is not the first story for road There. Yeah yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (22:44):
There was a dolphin that was like just in one
bay for a very long and then he he swam
away and the whole town was heartbroken, like a whole
local economy collapsed because of it, because everyone would come
to see the dolphin.
Speaker 1 (22:57):
It was a pretty tench story.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
Good old, good old FUNGI your fun guy. We don't
know what his name is, Sylvia, our number one mascot
of the show. No idea how to pronounce It's Sylvia
Thompson wrote this best in the biz. Wouldn't tape sent
this in Think you wouldn't tapes. Australian woman awakes from
surgery with full Irish accent.
Speaker 5 (23:22):
I heard about that. I heard about that.
Speaker 2 (23:24):
Yeah, she has never been to Ireland and it seems
to be and it's an extreme rare condition called foreign
accent syndrome.
Speaker 1 (23:33):
Oh look at that, perfectly named.
Speaker 2 (23:36):
An Australian Asian woman who woke up from surgery on
her tonsils, which so it wasn't like green surgery. Yes,
that's the part that blew me away the most. I
thought she was in a coma and popped out. Nope,
just getting those tonsils popped. An Australian Asian woman who
woke up from surgery on her tonsils began speaking in
what seems to be an Irish accent. The video is
(23:58):
so good. She's been document unting her experience on TikTok.
The twenty seven year old Brisbane dentist and Yen decided
to post regular videos of her new accent. When people
dubbed her a hoax, I mean, we live in a
cynical world, but this is very funny. Otherwise, well, Yen
was sent home to recover from her surgery, with doctors
(24:19):
suggesting her vocal cords would heal over time. As their
story traveled around the world, experts recognize that Yen, who
has never been to Ireland, is suffering from a very
rare condition known as foreign accent syndrome. Oh, it is
really funny to watch and it must sound even stranger
(24:39):
in Australia, like in parts of America. You could kind
of fudge it and get away with it.
Speaker 3 (24:43):
But who so would they think it's something to do
with the vocal cords. It's not like a brain, say,
it's neurological.
Speaker 2 (24:52):
So the first instance was reported by a French neurologist,
Pierre Marie in nineteen oh seven. It occurs usually after
a stroke, but can also be caused or developed with
head trauma, migraine, seizures, or surgery to the mouth and face. WOA,
So I know, is that wild the results? And this
(25:14):
is the case with this young lady, which is just incredible.
It's not only the person loses their natural accent, they
have a different pitch intonation and word pronunciation and so
her start up here like it's that almost stereotypical like,
what the accent she's doing feels almost like somebody's doing
a Lucky Charms commercial or something stereotypical. Yeah, it's not
(25:36):
quite accurate. Only about one hundred cases of foreign accent
syndrome have been reported worldwide and has been found more
commonly in women than men. In twenty thirteen, BBC showed
a documentary about a woman from Devon who had a
Chinese accent.
Speaker 1 (25:53):
That resulted from a severe migrain. No, oh, no, she
would be canceled now she was a public figure at all.
Speaker 2 (26:04):
Oh.
Speaker 1 (26:04):
Oh my god, Oh my god.
Speaker 4 (26:07):
I am actually I'm charmed that this woman her last
name is Yen.
Speaker 1 (26:11):
Yes, yeah, is it Sylvia?
Speaker 4 (26:14):
And yeah, uh, that she thinks that putting a video
out on TikTok is somehow proof of veracity.
Speaker 1 (26:24):
That's right, TikTok's real.
Speaker 5 (26:27):
It's real. Everything on the internet is real. I'm like, baby,
come on, I want to help you out. That might
not be the way.
Speaker 2 (26:36):
It is so insane, it really is. And I encourage
all the ban animals to go on TikTok and Yen
it's really incredible. The only one posts the video. Yeah,
we'll post the video in her stories. We'll figure out
a way to do it. It's uh, it like you're
laughing and you feel bad for her, but you just
can't stop laughing, like I want to be like oh.
(26:57):
But then it's also like still understand her and still
English based languages, so she's not losing communications. She's gonna Actually,
who doesn't love Irish people? When you're in New York,
people walk up to you in a bar and go,
I'm Irish, and then you just start drinking and partying
with them exactly.
Speaker 4 (27:15):
It's sort of like Americans feel like any person from
the UK could just read the phone book, and especially women,
We're just like, oh, get to the seas. Yeah, yeah, yeah, ridiculous.
Is Anne distressed by this condition or is she very
much enjoying her her her new verbiage, her new Lexiconish.
Speaker 2 (27:40):
Yes in the article, it doesn't say in the In
the videos, she seems to be enjoying it. The first
one I watched she was trying to prove people that
it's real, and then the other one she was just
talking like making a TikTok and like it's still going on.
Speaker 4 (27:54):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (27:55):
I would love to ask her if she could do
an Australian accent. But with her Irish act hole, marg
that's what I would like to know what it sounds
like like an.
Speaker 4 (28:06):
Irish person trying to do an Australian accent. Yes, brilliant,
that's really good.
Speaker 2 (28:12):
Is there have you met hardly any of the voice
actors and other countries that do Lisa that you really liked,
like that you really responded to what they were doing.
Speaker 5 (28:21):
Yes, I actually I haven't met them.
Speaker 4 (28:23):
But I had a shoe company for five years and
we made the shoes in Italy. So I used to
go to Italy twice a year to work with the
factories and we had we were in two factories there
and go to the tanneries and pick the materials. And
every day at lunch we would I was not I was.
We were in Florence. That's where I stayed over, you know,
(28:45):
where the hotel was, But I was out in the
suburbs where it's still beautiful, but it's you know, it
ain't Florence. So you would go to the local truck
stop and have lunch every you know, for the days
that I was there, and every single day The Simpsons
was on in Italian at lunch.
Speaker 5 (29:03):
And I have to say that the Italian.
Speaker 4 (29:05):
Lisa Simpson was very good. Sounded a lot like me, yes,
but the and Marge was pretty close to but Homer
and Bart not at all. And what I found in
the foreign languages when they dubbed the Simpsons is you you.
I don't think I've ever heard a full cast that
(29:25):
sounds like the American cast in terms of vocal musicality.
Speaker 2 (29:33):
Quality, that harmony of you all sound different on the show.
All the characters do sound different, but it weaves together.
Speaker 5 (29:40):
Yeah, so it's it's really so.
Speaker 4 (29:43):
I had no idea what she was saying, but it
was really fun because they were old episodes and I
was like, oh, yeah, I sort of remember that episode,
but I don't actually have a very good memory.
Speaker 5 (29:53):
So I was like, but I can't tell you what
this would see.
Speaker 1 (29:55):
This is like that for you, So.
Speaker 3 (29:59):
It isn't amazing in Italy, I remember what last time
I was there. The best lunch I had was at
a truck stop. Absolutely, it was a three course meal
with a bottle of wine.
Speaker 1 (30:09):
My mind.
Speaker 3 (30:11):
It was a gas station. We had like two tables
and it was the best food I had the whole trip.
Speaker 4 (30:18):
Hey, because Nana is cooking in the back room, right.
She just like brought all her pots and pants and
got the local produce, Like, all right, here's lunch today.
Speaker 2 (30:28):
Yeah, I had no idea. That's a learnt. We actually
taught something today on Bananas. Go to Italy, make a
truck stop, enjoy a beautiful three course lunch.
Speaker 1 (30:38):
Do you want to tease us into a break?
Speaker 3 (30:40):
Yes, please meet the nun who wants you to remember
you will die.
Speaker 1 (30:48):
All right, we'll be right back.
Speaker 2 (30:49):
Bananas Mt Bana, Bana.
Speaker 5 (31:06):
Bana's Day, Bananas, Banana.
Speaker 3 (31:18):
Ladies, gentlemen, non binary folks, welcome back to the show.
This is Bananas. If you haven't yet, Oh what big reminder? Hamden, Connecticut?
How many conmember twenty third I'm going to be there
at Space Ballroom and of course Philly, Philly, Philly. I'm
going to be there June seventeenth, eighteenth, and nineteenth at
(31:40):
the Helium in Philly.
Speaker 2 (31:41):
Go see it.
Speaker 1 (31:42):
Go to our Instagram right now and sign up and
send us your weird news at the Bananas Podcast.
Speaker 2 (31:50):
That's right, And I just want to give a shout
out to dream Situations, who messaged us on our Instagram
letting us know that she named three chickens Kurt, Oh,
Scottie and Laren Sadly Lauren was eaten by a dog.
Speaker 1 (32:03):
But Kurt and Scotty.
Speaker 2 (32:07):
Wait, but the good thing about chickens is they keep
laying eggs, so there will be a Lauren two point zero.
I hope it's a buff Orpington chicken. And we hope
that little kurdiebe and little Scottie live long and prosperous lives.
Speaker 3 (32:20):
And one more shout out. I got this message off
the banana phone. You guys can keep trying the banana phone.
I have been in charge of the banana phone for
the first time, and it is too much for brown
older to handle. It is so many I'm no longer
answering the phone. I'm scared of it. I'm trying to
respond to your text. Sorry if they're taking a while. Yeah,
(32:42):
it's terrifying the but I don't know how Scotty does
it at the Instagram is enough. Instagram is already overwhelming. Yeah,
the banana phone.
Speaker 2 (32:50):
Early in the podcast, we had Mint Mobiles give us
a free phone service and a free phone for a
year where anybody can call and talk to me for
a minute and then I hang up on him. And
at first it was very cute and pleasant, you know,
three four nice calls a day, and then people figured
out the text thing and now Kurt, is it two
hundred texts and fifty calls a day.
Speaker 3 (33:09):
Yeah, yeah, pretty much. So it's it's too much. But
we did get this very nice message. This is from
uh Mac. He is from Grant's Pass, Oregon, and he
just wanted us to shout out pharmacy texts in an episode.
In general, we will totally shout out farm pharmacy texts.
Speaker 1 (33:29):
Yeah, technicians not like tex Yeah, like ones. Okay, yeah yeah, yeah,
yeah yeah.
Speaker 3 (33:36):
We are the backbone of this society right now making
COVID vaccine clinics open and giving vaccination. And so thank
you so much to our pharmacy texts. I didn't even
know it was quite a job.
Speaker 1 (33:48):
A job probably our lives. Thank you.
Speaker 5 (33:52):
Yeah. I went, I've been double vaxed.
Speaker 2 (33:56):
Hell yeah.
Speaker 4 (33:56):
I got the Pfizer and actually was really lucky. I
only had four hours after the second one where I
felt nauseous and I had a terrible headache. But it
was like a tornado. It blew in it sort of
like and then it just blew out. I was like what, Oh,
oh okay, nothing like the flu.
Speaker 1 (34:18):
No, oh no. And I felt it. I had just
like very little like I just felt achy.
Speaker 3 (34:23):
But I was like, oh, this is the ache of freedom, baby,
and wait to go out and lick some doorknobs.
Speaker 2 (34:29):
After this, I day two Pfizer Shot two felt I
don't know a better word for it. I felt horny.
In the afternoon, I had full energy.
Speaker 1 (34:40):
You dow eted that, and I was wondering if it
was real.
Speaker 2 (34:42):
Undred percent true. At about four pm the day after,
I was writing a script and I was looking at
the screen and I was like, I feel very turned
I think, And I was like, I'm going to go
get a brisk breeze on my deck. And I stood
outside and I just let the air wash over me.
And about an hour later, I was back to normal and.
Speaker 1 (35:02):
Normal hours. Apressive. Yeah, so sign for number three. I'll
take that booster number four.
Speaker 2 (35:11):
It was great.
Speaker 1 (35:13):
Oh yeah, then that you're speaking of, which.
Speaker 3 (35:15):
Oh yeah, this is this is absolutely fascinating. This is
sent into us by m Striff. This is multiple stories.
She's gotten very good, top tier. It is this is
from the New York Times. Meet the nun who wants
you to remember you will die yep, all right, written
(35:37):
by the best journalist Ruth Graham.
Speaker 1 (35:41):
Thank you so much, Ruth.
Speaker 2 (35:42):
God she's good or he's probably.
Speaker 3 (35:44):
From May fourteenth, twenty twenty one, before she entered the
Daughters of Saint Paul Convent. In twenty ten, Sister Teresa
Aleithia Noble read a biography of the Orders founder and
Italian priest. Was born in the eighteen eighties. Okay, he
kept a ceramic skull on his desk as a reminder
of the inevitability of death. Sister Alithea, a punk fan,
(36:05):
as a teenager, thought that morbid curier was curio was
quote super punk rock. She recalled recently, she thought vaguely
about acquiring a skull for herself someday. These days, Sister
Alethia has no shortage of skulls. People send her skull
mugs and skull rosaries in the mail and share photos
of their skull tattoos. That is because since twenty seventeen,
(36:27):
she's made it her mission to revive the practice of
memento moriy, a Latin phrase meaning remember your death Oh.
The concept is to intentionally think about your own death
every day as a means of appreciating the present and
focusing on the future. It can seem radical in an
era in which death, until very recently, has become easy
(36:49):
to ignore.
Speaker 1 (36:50):
Okay, it seems like.
Speaker 4 (36:51):
A lot of pressure to have to get for that
to be the reason you're gonna live today.
Speaker 5 (36:57):
Fully, that's just a high bar to.
Speaker 3 (37:00):
Think about your death, right, Yeah, like to live. In
order to live, you have to think about the ending
of the living.
Speaker 5 (37:06):
Could maybe it not be that dramatic?
Speaker 4 (37:08):
Could you just fucking wake up and go, Hey, it's Wednesday,
I like to day. I'm good.
Speaker 1 (37:13):
This is Catholicism. It has to be dramatic. Sorry, sure, it's.
Speaker 2 (37:17):
All about service. And isn't that the way you start
every movie? As soon as it begins, you go, this
is gonna end. So I need to appreciate this right now.
Speaker 5 (37:25):
Yes, exactly. Talk about not living in the moment? No,
maybe we just a.
Speaker 3 (37:30):
Little err It is very interesting that it's about living
in the moment but thinking about the future.
Speaker 1 (37:36):
You know, that is like that reverse thing. But I
do kind of guys, I would say, I'm kind of
like it.
Speaker 2 (37:43):
Well, you were raised.
Speaker 4 (37:44):
Kind of like it.
Speaker 1 (37:45):
I was raised Catholic.
Speaker 5 (37:46):
I could tell by the way you pronounced all her names.
Speaker 1 (37:53):
Lithea. I mean, you know that's the one she chose
for you know, nobody named that.
Speaker 5 (37:59):
So what's the what do you like?
Speaker 1 (38:01):
What do I like about it?
Speaker 2 (38:03):
Is it?
Speaker 1 (38:03):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (38:03):
I do want to know as a as a tea,
I just this is something maybe personally I just went
through recently, but as a teenager, I would think about
death a lot, and like think about like the like
today is a good day to die, like reassure myself
of that like idea in thinking like I have to
be okay with whatever happens because today I might die.
And then I for a long period twenties and thirties,
(38:26):
I just kind of forgot about this idea.
Speaker 1 (38:28):
I'd never thought about it.
Speaker 3 (38:30):
And then I had kids, and then recently a good
friend of mine passed, and I've just been thinking about
death more often, or the idea that like all this
ends and you see your kids, you know, and they're young,
little kids, of just like this is this is, this
is the future now, and I'm the past. I'm gonna
(38:51):
be going and so I just have to make sure
this is good. So the majority of my energies into
making sure that the future exists through them. But knowing that,
like they're going to watch me die the way I
watch my mom die, and I've just been thinking about
it a lot. This is a nice way to the
fact that I'm like obsessed with death right now, to
actually allow it to help me be present, which is
(39:14):
something I've I'm always trying to be.
Speaker 2 (39:16):
You're very good at it.
Speaker 3 (39:18):
That's something that I'm That's something I take from this
memento Maury of the idea of like, I gonna be
thinking about it anyway, so let least let it be positive,
you know, as opposed to.
Speaker 2 (39:30):
Turn into the skid.
Speaker 1 (39:32):
Yeah, it's the safest way to be.
Speaker 2 (39:38):
I hardly. I have a skeleton that I keep in
the back of my car and drive from Los Angeles
with I've had it for seven years. Has many names.
Everybody that gets the names it's something different. But I
have a little convertible and it sits in the back seat.
And one day at a red light, I was somewhere
down on Beverly, Uh, this guy pulls up next to
me a convertim. He goes, who are you? And I go,
(40:00):
I'm just a dude, man, I'm just a dude. He goes, No,
you're like a movie or something, and I go, no, no, no,
I'm not a movie. And he goes, what's the skeleton for.
I was like, it's for it's for a conversation, like
it was for what we were doing. He goes, yeah,
but what movie are you doing? Like he thought me
and the skeleton where like I was playing up an
old movie. He go I was like, na, man, it's
just like a bit, it's just a joke. And he goes,
(40:21):
are you back to the future, Just like no, no, desert,
no right, And then so then the light turns green
we drive away. I'm like, no, I'm not back to
the future. And then he got kind of mad and
just drove away, like, oh, we'll screw you.
Speaker 1 (40:34):
You ain't back to the future. About hagging it out.
Speaker 2 (40:36):
So then I went back and watched back to the
future because I was like, is there a skeleton back then?
Speaker 1 (40:40):
There isn't. And I'm like, no, I guess just death
and not death in the front seat.
Speaker 2 (40:44):
This guy just did the.
Speaker 1 (40:45):
Math for me.
Speaker 4 (40:49):
It just didn't seem like enough that you would put
that in your back seat for conversation at a red light.
Speaker 2 (40:54):
Just absurdity. Just Kurt and I are big fans of
being absurd for being absurd, and he was not having it.
It needed a theme and a reference reason.
Speaker 5 (41:04):
It needed a reason.
Speaker 4 (41:05):
That's so funny, and then people really get their panties
and are not when you're like, listen, asshole, your reason
doesn't line up with by reason.
Speaker 2 (41:15):
Yes, And I'm just smiling at him, going no, man,
it's really not. I wasn't like, hey, start walking eat rocks,
bud right, it was so cool. Just I should have
just said, yes, it's back to the future. You got it.
You should be on my trivia team. You're very good
at these sort of things.
Speaker 3 (41:31):
There's cameras everywhere, and they're going to follow you for
the rest.
Speaker 2 (41:34):
Of your life. Congratulations, you just won twenty five hundred dollars.
Speaker 5 (41:38):
You would have followed you home.
Speaker 2 (41:40):
So yeah, that's a good point.
Speaker 1 (41:43):
I have one for you this yardly.
Speaker 2 (41:45):
This is specific. I was reading the early in your
acting career that you were getting cast quite often as
well below your age, that you looked way younger than
your age. So your first allow of your first roles,
you're playing twelve and you were twenty that sort of yep, yep. Well,
and I remember the first time I saw you. It
was in city was in city slickers for sure A
(42:06):
very memorable part.
Speaker 5 (42:07):
Thank you, and.
Speaker 2 (42:10):
This lady might have you beat but not really so.
This is from nbcnews dot com. This is written don't oh,
this was written by what a name? Mini von Burke.
M bend be Mini von Burke. I'm sent in by
trash Panda Thomas. Thank you trash Panda Thomas.
Speaker 5 (42:33):
I read from Detective Dan. I learned what the trash
panda is.
Speaker 1 (42:36):
Yeah, it's a raccoon. Right, it's a raccoon.
Speaker 2 (42:38):
Oh yeah, who knew? They're all over my backyard?
Speaker 3 (42:43):
Uh.
Speaker 2 (42:44):
Mini von Burke wrote this one nbcnews dot Com. Twenty
nine year old woman posed as a student sneaked into
a high school just to promote her Instagram account. Wow, police, say, Audrey,
I'm going to butcher this last name Franciscini. Let's say
francis KINI entered American Senior High School through the front
doors by blending in with students. A twenty nine year
(43:07):
old woman was arrested after authorities says she posed as
a high schooler and snuck into this Miami Dade County
school to promote her Instagram page.
Speaker 5 (43:17):
We feel like I used my powers only for good.
This does not comport.
Speaker 2 (43:23):
Did you ever use them for good outside of auditioning
and that sort of thing? Like did you ever get
discounts at amusement parks and movie theaters or anything?
Speaker 5 (43:30):
Nope, nope.
Speaker 4 (43:32):
I'm actually a terrible liar. I was actually part of
the Dharma and Greg team on Hollywood Squares.
Speaker 5 (43:39):
A couple of times. If they needed somebody to fill
a square, I'm like, okay, sure.
Speaker 4 (43:44):
And the premise of the Hollywood Squares is that they
read they get it. You have to you have to
sell somebody on a definition of something right or.
Speaker 1 (43:55):
A coughing game kind yes, yeah.
Speaker 4 (43:57):
And I if I knew it was my god, I
could not.
Speaker 5 (44:02):
I could not do it.
Speaker 4 (44:04):
And they were like, you stuck at this. You are
a terrible, terrible teammate for this game. I thought, you're right,
I am this is not good, not good.
Speaker 3 (44:13):
So no, I'm.
Speaker 2 (44:15):
Yeah, good, Well that's good. You love lived a straight
in narrow life.
Speaker 4 (44:19):
I think you're disappointed, Scottie. And you're like, you're no front,
no boring as could be, not at all.
Speaker 2 (44:27):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (44:28):
Francis Keeni or Franz Keeny.
Speaker 2 (44:30):
Was able to sneak her way into the front doors
by blending with students, She carried a book bag and
dressed quote similar to students, You're gonna love.
Speaker 1 (44:37):
This Kurt holding a skateboard and carrying a painting.
Speaker 2 (44:41):
You know, just like a normal high school student. So
you know what it's like when when we were all
in high school and you just cruise in with your
cool high school clothes, carrying a book bag, a skateboard,
and a painting.
Speaker 1 (44:54):
Under your arms. Why don't you call you similar aged kids?
Speaker 2 (44:58):
Kids love painting that, you know, not smartphones, not a
They love painting. Once inside, she handed out pamphlets with
her Instagram name on them and asked students to follow her. Mean,
this is amazingly something.
Speaker 3 (45:12):
The idea that I mean, just that, like ending flyers
out for your Instagram, is so against the whole concept.
Speaker 2 (45:21):
Premeditated, it's so insane. Premeditated if right, if she hadn't
done the pamphlet step and the wardrobe step, if she
had just gone I was driving by and I thought
it'd be funny. Then you go, well you're weird, but
I get it.
Speaker 1 (45:34):
This is like she planned this.
Speaker 2 (45:35):
She went to Kinko's, so security stopped her after seeing
her walking in the halls while classes were in sessions,
so okay, uh. And she said she was looking for
the registration office, not a bad lie. But instead of
going to the office, she just kept roaming the halls.
She was stopped a second time by security and she fled,
(45:56):
prompting security to report a quote potential threat on campus.
Of course, would there's an adult around children? Never a
good thing. Let's see. She got arrested and was taken
to Miami Day Jail, and she has since been released.
But yeah, to me, it was it was one to
gain Instagram followers and nothing else there wasn't so crazy.
(46:17):
It's so weird. Keeping up with the Joneses has completely
transformed into something. This is very, very odd and crazy.
Speaker 1 (46:25):
Yeah, Yardley, did you enjoy high school? Did you? I did?
Speaker 5 (46:31):
I was.
Speaker 4 (46:32):
I did drama like I did school plays in high
school and then actually and I didn't do sports. I
didn't do anything else, which is probably why I didn't
get into college, because they were like, your grades are okay,
but you don't like you're.
Speaker 5 (46:46):
Not well rounded, so forget you.
Speaker 4 (46:48):
Right, But when I was fourteen, I auditioned at a
dinner theater outside of Washington, d C. And they were
doing a plagiarized version of Peter.
Speaker 1 (46:58):
Pan Great, I ad, yeah, perfect, And all.
Speaker 4 (47:08):
The dumb thing was they used the same story in
all the proper names, but they wrote their own music
and songs to it.
Speaker 3 (47:18):
Right.
Speaker 5 (47:19):
And I ended up playing tinker.
Speaker 4 (47:21):
Bell, and I was bigger than all of the Lost boys,
all of whom were girls anyway, And the Dinner Theater
was going under, but I didn't know that at the time,
and accept that quite frequently, and I did it for
months months. Quite frequently, performances would be canceled because there
(47:41):
were more people on stage than there were in the audience,
or nobody showed up. And during the performance, during intermission,
the woman who played Peter had to go out and
wait tables. And then I remember being told that we
were going to Broadway, and I was like, oh, excellent,
I am ready, let's get this show on the road.
Speaker 5 (48:03):
Yeah, well, they're going belly up.
Speaker 4 (48:05):
And one night I showed up to the Dinner Theater
and there was a notice from the health department and
a notice on the door, and nobody had called to say, yardly,
you don't have to come to the theater tonight.
Speaker 5 (48:17):
Eighteen Yeah, so my mother would drive me obviously.
Speaker 4 (48:21):
And I also I got paid fifty dollars a week,
which was a lot more money than i'd ever been
ever made. But after about the second paycheck they started
to bounce. Oh. I remember thinking like, it's okay, it
doesn't matter, you know, it's just a little hitching the
gide up. It's gonna be all right. So I don't
(48:42):
think I ever got paid after the second check.
Speaker 5 (48:45):
But I was in.
Speaker 1 (48:45):
I was all in.
Speaker 5 (48:46):
I was in up to my eyeballs.
Speaker 3 (48:48):
That owner just hopped in his car, tore off and
drove to the Trent and then opened up forty first Street.
Speaker 5 (48:56):
Yes, yes, probably yeah. And I also it was you know,
it didn't feel like that.
Speaker 4 (49:06):
I think I just thought like, okay, it was I
was the heartbreaking part was when people wouldn't show.
Speaker 5 (49:13):
I was like, what do you come on, we're acting
our asses off up here.
Speaker 4 (49:18):
And his tinkerbell I had to, you know, fly, I'm
making little quotation marks for your listeners. And so, but
I had a harness that was like it looked sort
of like later hosen, but it was thick like you
could And then he hooked me to a chain that
you would pull a semi truck with like it was
so fucking heavy, this thing. And then the guy who
(49:40):
owned the theater would stand backstage and pull on a
rope like you're pulling drapes, you know.
Speaker 5 (49:47):
Yeah, and my chain would go.
Speaker 4 (49:53):
Just sort of screech across the stage while I'm singing
my solo.
Speaker 5 (49:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (50:00):
That's a lot of happy thoughts at that theater, between
the food poisoning, the nose, the bouncing checks, the killer
special effects team.
Speaker 1 (50:11):
Wow, but it got your stage. You're a performer.
Speaker 3 (50:14):
Cool, I know, to be a paid performer at fourteen
for the stage incredible trotting the boards, Yeah, I know, I.
Speaker 4 (50:23):
Know it was. And then actually they then they started
to do two shows at once, and they did a
plagiarized version of the Three Musketeers and I played a
little old Italian man with a black curly wig and
gold lemae leggings. Yeah. I was like, Wowyard, looking back,
(50:46):
You're like, just no fear right.
Speaker 1 (50:48):
No, that's what it takes good for you.
Speaker 5 (50:51):
No shame either way.
Speaker 1 (50:54):
It's the same thing. It's the same thing. Should we
have one last story to send this home?
Speaker 2 (51:00):
Guys?
Speaker 1 (51:01):
Yeah, so fast, I know it's a it's a fast one. Uh,
this is amazing.
Speaker 3 (51:10):
Woman named Crystal Methanie arrested for firing missile into car.
It's not exactly I got this, we got I got
this d M to me and I was just like,
no way, this is real.
Speaker 1 (51:26):
And then I went and it is real. It is real.
Speaker 2 (51:31):
Gosh, there is.
Speaker 1 (51:32):
And also, so missile is like the actual term the
police use. I will I will read it here. So
it's not an.
Speaker 4 (51:40):
Actual missile, like we're gonna launch it onto another country
kind of thing.
Speaker 1 (51:44):
It could be, but it probably wasn't the answer.
Speaker 2 (51:48):
Okay, it could have been a bottle rocket, is what
we're gonna learn here.
Speaker 1 (51:52):
Here we go.
Speaker 3 (51:54):
This was sent in by Laura Sosa. Thank you so much, Laura.
That not thousands of bananimals cent Crystal. This is the
most bananas. Crystal Methany shoots missile.
Speaker 2 (52:06):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (52:08):
Sent it by Laura Sosa.
Speaker 3 (52:09):
This was written by Hillary Hanson Best in the Biz
over at the Huffington Post.
Speaker 2 (52:15):
She's so good, so good.
Speaker 3 (52:18):
We clearly don't need you to tell the state. We
clearly don't need to tell you the state where this
took place. Thank you so much, Hillary, because it's obviously
for Florida. Crystal Methanie, thirty six, was arrested last month
for shooting a missile six YEP shooting a missile into
a vehicle, according to records from the Polk County Sheriff's
Office in Florida. It should be noted that under Florida law,
(52:41):
a missile can be defined as a stone or other
hard substance, So this should not be construed to me
launch of rockets into She was she was launching something.
It was definitely it wasn't just thrown. Methanie was also
arrested in twenty twelve on him marijuana charge. Jezebel's Mark
(53:02):
Schraber writes that he called the Polk County Sheriff's office
to confirm that this was Methanie's real name and not
an alias. When he expressed his amazement over the moniker,
a Sheriff's office spokeswoman identified only as Linda told him, sir,
this is Florida.
Speaker 1 (53:16):
We got a lot of interesting names here.
Speaker 3 (53:20):
She's not wrong, she is not wrong. Her name was
Linda gator face.
Speaker 2 (53:29):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (53:30):
Yeah, pretty amazing, Yardley. Do you have anything you want
to talk about before you before?
Speaker 4 (53:41):
Sure, small town Dix. We're everywhere anywhere you liked to
pod as the kids say, it's really very very good.
It's very it's really reverent toward the victims. And like
I said, all the cases are told by the detectives
who investigated.
Speaker 1 (53:55):
Them, so right there.
Speaker 4 (53:59):
And Oil and Water, which you can find on the
tube of you YouTube, yeah, and Instagram at oil and
at oil and water food, and it's just it's six
to eight minutes of you know, happy grins because it's
dumb entertainment for troubling jubs.
Speaker 5 (54:18):
No, thank you, this is so much fun.
Speaker 4 (54:21):
You guys are loveliest pie. I love that you are
up on your current events. I love that you actually read.
That's very impressive in this day and age.
Speaker 1 (54:31):
As we know.
Speaker 2 (54:33):
Certainly, welcome back anytime you want to talk about Banana's
news stories. We'd love to have you.
Speaker 5 (54:38):
Okay, I'd love to come. Thank you.
Speaker 4 (54:41):
This was wonderful, so good and congratulations again. Listen, I
always say when people ask me, so small town Dicks.
We're finishing season eight, but we're actually not quite four
years old. We do about two seasons a year, and
I people, you know, I've been on a few panels
when we still used to do panels in the before
(55:02):
times and people like how do you host?
Speaker 5 (55:04):
Who says?
Speaker 4 (55:06):
And there are a couple of things. One, you have
to I believe you have to do it for you, Yes, right,
because you got to play.
Speaker 5 (55:11):
The long game, enjoy it exactly absolutely.
Speaker 4 (55:14):
But the other thing is it's one thing to get
people to your podcast. The real work is keeping them.
So the fact that you guys have been on for
a year and you're so successful and your audience continues
to grow, that they're so engaged is no small feet, gentlemen.
Speaker 5 (55:30):
It really hats off to you.
Speaker 3 (55:32):
Oh yeah, remind myself that I'm going to die and
I appreciate that we have so many bananimals every day.
Speaker 2 (55:39):
Yes, and I'm going to live forever and I do
bananas for Kurt. So it's a very short dynamic, but
we're thrilled to perfectana. This has been an exactly right
production and engineered by Katie Levine, the music by Kahon,
(56:03):
and all of our artwork.
Speaker 1 (56:04):
Is done by Travis Millard.
Speaker 2 (56:05):
You can follow us on Instagram at the Bananas Podcast,
where we post stories every day and things that we
don't cover on the podcast.
Speaker 3 (56:12):
Listen, subscribe, and please leave us a review on Apple podcast, Stitcher,
or wherever you get your podcast.
Speaker 2 (56:18):
And if you're interested in advertising on Bananas, please email
us at the Bananas Podcast at gmail dot com. That's
the Bananas Podcast at gmail dot com.
Speaker 3 (56:35):
B
Alrighty Scott, are you're ready?
Speaker 2 (00:02):
Hey, Kurtie, b I hear, I hear you still got
that scratchy comedy voice over there.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
I still do.
Speaker 3 (00:08):
I blew my voice out so long ago, and it's
still fucked up like.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
I like it. You're like a cigar smoker, now, I.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
Know, right, it's it's just a little bit lower, a
little bit more fun. Are you ready for a headline?
Speaker 2 (00:23):
Hit me, buddy?
Speaker 3 (00:25):
Russia is going to try to clone an army of
three thousand year old Scythian warriors.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Okay, I understood the Russian part. I understood the warriors part.
So let's just get into it on another fabulous episode
of Bananas Podcast.
Speaker 3 (00:42):
Still understand you, my sillion pieces, ladies and gentlemen.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
Welcome to Bananas.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
I am Kurt Brown, older, I am Scotti Landis. Thank
you for listening to the silliest little podcast that ever was.
And sometimes we goof up top, but we have an
extra special guest today, so I think we should get
right into it. Curdie.
Speaker 3 (01:21):
Our guest today is an actor, a podcaster, an artist.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
A writer.
Speaker 3 (01:26):
You will of course recognize her as the voice of
Lisa Simpson or from her true crime podcast Small Town Dix.
She's got a new cooking show, Oil and Water, out
every other Wednesday on YouTube and i G TV. Please
welcome the very wonderful Yardley Smith.
Speaker 4 (01:43):
Right, they can't see me waving my arms, big cheer,
going wild.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
We love excitement, Yardley. We're very happy about this.
Speaker 4 (01:53):
Hey, I wanted to wish you a happy anniversary, didn't you.
Guys you just celebrated one year.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
Yes, yes, we did.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
We did. We had our one year bananniversary.
Speaker 5 (02:02):
We had the bananiversary.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
Yes, so far, so good.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
We're into year two and we haven't gotten you know,
booted yet.
Speaker 5 (02:10):
Bravo you. It's not easily done. I know it.
Speaker 3 (02:12):
Yes, oh yeah, yeah, it is a You know, the
Banannimals have been very accepting and we appreciate them forever.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
And Yardley for your podcast. Have you did you start
in studio and move your way out to this zoom
weird world that we just talked through screens of each other.
Speaker 4 (02:32):
No, actually, we have almost never recorded in a studio
for Small Town Dix. We would we sometimes travel to
the small town where our detectives are. Yes, all of
our stories are told by the detectives who investigated them.
So oftentimes we'd be in a conference room that's not
at all soundproof. And we have two extraordinary editors, like
(02:59):
actual technical editors. I edit on paper, but they know
the pro tools and all that stuff, and we have.
Speaker 5 (03:06):
Really good equipment.
Speaker 4 (03:07):
Yes, so that helps a great deal. But but we
also I do all the you know, if there are pickups,
and sometimes there are you know, when you listen back
and something doesn't quite make sense or somebody's whatever the
case may be, I do We often do.
Speaker 5 (03:24):
I'll do those pickups in my dining room.
Speaker 4 (03:26):
Yes, and so yes, we did sort of shift to
zoom and now we have little portable recording kits that
we will send out to our guests. We actually literally
sent them to Scotland. We had two Scottish guests this season,
so we sent them overseas and we couldn't you know,
obviously we have some funds, but we don't have those
(03:48):
fucking kind of funs. So we were not bringing the
whole crew to Scotland yet, not yet.
Speaker 1 (03:55):
Yeah, nine, season nine, you're going to be there, thank you.
Speaker 5 (03:58):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
One thing I really like about that podcast is it's
the same one thing when you're chiming in a lot
It's what I do when I'm watching date Lines or
any true crime show where I'm commenting and you do
that and it makes me so happy. I'll be like,
but wait, where was the body? And that's like when
I'll do at home, and then Dan or Dave will
be like, you found the body in the basement, and yes.
Speaker 4 (04:21):
And you know now I So, for those who don't know,
I'm actually engaged to detective Dan, so I co host
with identical twin detectives Dan and Dave.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
Amazing and.
Speaker 4 (04:34):
It was born out of me when I started to date.
Danny didn't live in I live in California, didn't live
in California, and so I would go see him and
his brother, Dave lived literally like a block away. So
he would come over on a Thursday and just download
their week and your hair would be on fire because
you're like, what that was just Wednesday?
Speaker 5 (04:54):
Like wow, fuck me, it was wow.
Speaker 4 (04:56):
It's such a very specific kind of of person, a
very specific kind of internal makeup. I think, who that
person who's willing to every time they leave their house,
the person you're going to encounter on your job is
probably having their worst day.
Speaker 5 (05:11):
Yes, yeah, so they that was all that.
Speaker 4 (05:14):
Storytelling is really how the podcast was born. So now
Dan lives with me, and to watch true crime with
a detective not always fun or scripted, because you'd be like, oh,
I know who did it, and you're three minutes in
you're like, well zip it, ni bubs, like give me
a fucking brain, give me a chance. Here.
Speaker 3 (05:36):
It's like watching a stand up special with a stand
up comic work. Now they don't laugh, no, just like
judging it the whole time is dumb.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
Worst.
Speaker 4 (05:45):
It's really actually, speaking of stand up, it's very hard
to get the Simpsons.
Speaker 5 (05:49):
Writers to laugh.
Speaker 4 (05:50):
Yes, life, they'll laugh at jokes in the script because
I think they're so excited finally to hear the actors
read those jokes. But if you're telling them a story
about something, it's.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
Like, I am also a TV writer And the question
people are the common I guess people ask or say
the most is like it must be so fun. You
guys just must crack each other up all day, and
I'm like, uh, we laugh and burst. There'll be like
a twenty fifteen minute burst like at three pm where
we're all a little delirious and we're having a great time.
But up until that point, it's just us logically trying
(06:25):
to figure out story puzzles. Basic.
Speaker 3 (06:26):
The amount of logic that goes into absurdity is horrifying.
Speaker 4 (06:30):
I think people really don't realize that that it's an
incredibly difficult job. To be funny it is, and to
be consistently funny it is.
Speaker 5 (06:41):
It's not. It ain't for the faint of heart. I'll
tell you that, no, it is not.
Speaker 2 (06:46):
It is you fail more than you win.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
Exactly.
Speaker 3 (06:49):
Well, yardly, do you want to hear the funniest story?
Speaker 1 (06:54):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (06:54):
What about the Russian warriors?
Speaker 3 (06:56):
Someone had the hell the not the I ain't the
stuff heart. I'm looking for a good segue here. I
didn't get one on that one.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
COmON writing is a battlefield, a battlefield that needs constant
replenishment from people all around the country who flock to
Los Angeles, California.
Speaker 4 (07:15):
Indeed, I actually have a good segue about Russia. Oh yeah,
your headline if you like. Okay, So my father, when
my father was a journalist for the Washington Post for
my entire life. He got that job I think when
I was about three years old. But prior to that,
he was a journalist for the UPI, which is like
(07:36):
Associated Press. It stood for United Press International, right. Yes,
And he was stationed in Poland and Russia during the
Cold War.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
No, yes, holy.
Speaker 4 (07:46):
So my mother followed him over there when they were engaged.
And so I was born in sixty four. I have
a brother who was born in sixty three. My parents
and my parents were not yet married when they were
in Russia, and the Russians said to them, literally, we'll
tell you when you can get married. And then it
was like, oh, it's Monday, you can get married Friday.
Speaker 1 (08:09):
Oh my god.
Speaker 4 (08:11):
Yes, And you couldn't you could, I mean at that
time you couldn't. Maybe perhaps now also, you couldn't just
bop over like, oh, you get married in five days,
I'll be there, you know, absolutely not. And so there's
and there is one photo that remains from their wedding.
They get married, and I think they get married in
(08:32):
the American consulate or the American embassy. My mother's wearing
a not a like a full wedding gown. She's wearing
a simple white dress exactly whatever you could get your
hands on, right, And one photograph. They packed the photos
(08:52):
that they had in their luggage, and when they came
back to the states only one.
Speaker 3 (08:56):
Was left, just that photo from their wedding. Oh my god,
they took all of them.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
They gave them one.
Speaker 5 (09:04):
I know, I know.
Speaker 4 (09:06):
And and they used to whenever they would have anything
important to talk about, they would go into the bathroom
and turn on the water because they knew the apartment
was bugged. And it didn't even mean, you know, they
could be talking about their own families, but anything that
was important to them, they would make sure that they
(09:27):
had at least some measure of privacy.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (09:31):
Wow, that's pretty insane.
Speaker 2 (09:34):
I mean I feel that way in every Airbnb I've
ever stayed in in my life.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
I should I'm.
Speaker 2 (09:41):
Exactly looking for nanny bears, and like, I'm like, is
that spying on me?
Speaker 1 (09:46):
What's spying on me?
Speaker 2 (09:48):
So I've gotten really good at nude dancing. I stripped
tease down, I get in the shower, I stripped I
reverse stripped teas back into my overalls.
Speaker 5 (09:57):
Very clever.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
Thank you, all right, Curdie b hit us with the
Russian Warriors. Sorry, we keep right with lovely stories.
Speaker 3 (10:03):
This is pop from Popular Mechanics, sent in by the
art of Wes Brooks, who is sent in.
Speaker 1 (10:09):
A lot of stories he's also a very great artist.
Speaker 3 (10:12):
So Russia is going to clone an army of three
thousand year old Scythian warriors. This is the weirdest story man.
This is by I believe, best in the biz. Caroline
Delbert is.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
That she's number one. All the Pulitzers go to her.
Speaker 3 (10:30):
One letter away from Dilbert. Oh god, here it is.
When you hold a job like Defense Minister of Russia,
you presumably have to be bold and think outside the
box to protect your country from enemy advances. And with
his latest strategic idea cloning an entire army of ancient
warriors Sergui Shorgu show sh Shoigua, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (10:52):
Isaiah is certainly taking a big swing.
Speaker 3 (10:54):
In an online session of the Russian Geographical Society last month,
shoygu oh Sally, a close ally of Putin, suggested using
the DNA of three thousand year old Scythian warriors to
potentially bring them back to life.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
Yes, really, And then it gives.
Speaker 3 (11:12):
Some background the city people, Okay, there was they were
from modern day Iran. There were nomads who traveled around
Eurasia ninth and second centuries, apparently known for being a
warrior and then his quote is, of course, we would
like very much to find the organic matter. And I
believe you understand what would follow that. And then I
(11:33):
think he winked for a thousand years. Okay, he said
it would be possible to make something of it, if
not Dolly the Sheep, in general, it will be very interesting,
so very coyly suggesting he's going to clone an army. Also,
I love popular mechanics. Popular mechanics has really gone the
(11:54):
way of reality TV, where it says Russia is going
to clone, and this guy was like a Winkie winkie,
maybe we'll clone.
Speaker 4 (12:04):
But back to Dolly the Sheep, did he not has
he not heard of that legacy of that story of
how that went not so well?
Speaker 1 (12:12):
Not what happened to Dolly the Sheep. I don't know
what happened to Dolly the Sheep.
Speaker 4 (12:16):
They cloned her fairly successfully, but the problem was that
her lifespan was considerably shortened and or she yeah, she
like she didn't have as good an immune system. It's
just not It's not like you know, taking a post
it and then cutting it in half and going, oh,
now I have two halves of a same post it.
Speaker 5 (12:36):
It's not like that.
Speaker 1 (12:37):
It's a xerox. It's a xerox. Yeah, it's like.
Speaker 5 (12:40):
That movie with Michael Keaton.
Speaker 4 (12:43):
Multiplicity, Multiplicity Each It's a little bit dumber.
Speaker 1 (12:49):
What a funny idea.
Speaker 3 (12:50):
I remember watching Multiplicity, I mean, homesick from school. Multiplicity
really tickled my buttons out.
Speaker 4 (12:56):
I feel like you could never make that movie now,
not not quite like gotten.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
Right with all those No, no, yeah, that doesn't happen anymore.
And for the best, by the way.
Speaker 1 (13:06):
And maybe good sure we've grown. Does Russia have a
shortage of people?
Speaker 2 (13:12):
It seems like Russia is a gigantic country with tons
of soldiers.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
This just seems insane.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
Like the Russian movies.
Speaker 3 (13:20):
There unique I you know, I dated a Russian woman
for thirteen years. Yes, and her parents hated me from
the moment they met me, almost almost I think. Okay,
so this is this around year eleven. We all went
they have known me for eleven years from age eighteen
(13:42):
I'm now twenty nine. We go on vacation with her
family to I don't know where, North Carolina or something.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
And Russia, very Russian place.
Speaker 3 (13:51):
It's very hot out and uh, and I just can't
I cannot deal being around the family anymore. So I
go outside and I'd never done this but four around
her family. But I got stoned by myself in the
backyard and then I come in and then immediately her dad,
who's like very severe, was like, he just hands me
all of this meat, and he's like, you grill the meat,
(14:13):
and I'm not even gonna do a Russian accent, and I.
Speaker 1 (14:15):
Was like, uh oh no.
Speaker 3 (14:17):
And then so the whole family is just watching me grill,
and I was so paranoid that I just I never
stopped flipping any piece of meat for thirty straight minutes.
And then I served it and it was the plump, juiciest,
plumpest meat.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
It was perfect because someone just flipped it over and over.
It was like rotisserie chicken essentially. And then from that
moment on they liked me.
Speaker 3 (14:45):
And I was like, that's all I needed to do
was get stoned, and then you guys are gonna love me.
Speaker 1 (14:50):
Yeah, they love me after that. It was the weirdest thing, dude.
Speaker 4 (14:54):
Yeah, yeah, and you only had two years left, which
you may or may not have known exactly.
Speaker 1 (14:59):
No, I did.
Speaker 2 (15:00):
No, that's magic. Wow. The brown Oler method of cooking.
Just whatever it is, touch it as many times as
possible until you think it's servable, and then clinch your
butt cheeks and hope we love it. That's what we
all do when we're cooking.
Speaker 5 (15:16):
Though, yeah sure, no, no we don't.
Speaker 2 (15:19):
Oh yes, you move confidently in the kitchen.
Speaker 1 (15:22):
That is stress and it's like jazz. It's your improvising
as you go. It's really nice to watch.
Speaker 5 (15:29):
Thank you.
Speaker 4 (15:29):
Yes, I think you are hopefully perhaps referring to oil
and water, which is my I call it dumb entertainment
for traveling times.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
Well you're in good company yardly. Yeah, entertainment as well.
But you get let people know the setup of the show.
Speaker 4 (15:47):
Oh yeah, so it's really a game and I cook
so and each episode is about six to eight minutes long,
and I actually am quite good cook. But while we're
all in lockdown and quarantine, I was like, well, well
you know, how could I Well it started actually with
I used to do a little thing on my Instagram
called Simpson's Sunday where I would talk tell you a story,
(16:10):
something about behind the scenes sometimes when you know in
the before times, I would bring you to my ADR
session amazing and it was great and it was really
fun in one of those little mini tidbits because they
were all about less than two minutes and twenty seconds.
Because I used to post them on Twitter as well.
Speaker 1 (16:28):
That's great, I did.
Speaker 4 (16:30):
I cooked a recipe from one of the Tracy Almond shorts.
Oh yes, where Homer makes bart dinner by basically smashing
together ground pork and ground fish and makes porkified fish nuge.
Speaker 5 (16:45):
And so I thought I could do that.
Speaker 4 (16:48):
So it was a slightly longer since the Sunday we
put it on Instagram and people really really loved it.
And then it gave me this idea, wouldn't it be
fun to come up with a cooking show that's not
unlike Chopped, Although I draw a sweet thing, a sweet ingredient,
a savory ingredient, and then a thing like it's a pie,
it's a cake, it's a soup, it's a pandouty or whatever,
(17:11):
and then I have to combine my sweet and savory
thing into the thing. Yes, And so that's the that's
oil and water.
Speaker 5 (17:19):
That's the game.
Speaker 4 (17:19):
And there's a lot of swearing that we leave out.
There's and also I'm I'm a little fast and loose
in the kitchen, and part of the point is there
are very few fatal mistakes and cooking very few, and
hoping that it will give people confidence to take a
recipe and as a leaping off point, right.
Speaker 5 (17:41):
Or just to try it. Who fucking cares if it doesn't,
you'll be all right, You'll be all right. So it's fun,
it's really fun.
Speaker 3 (17:49):
I've heard, yeah, that that cooking is that kind of
like you can kind of like fudge things here and there,
but baking is like that's where you get fucked if
you do it wrong.
Speaker 4 (17:59):
Baking is very scientific because it has to do with
things reacting to other things and sort of how much
time you might have. For instance, so you know, baking powder,
when you've added to a baked good, you have to
get that fucker in the oven right away because you know,
the reaction doesn't last very long. Baking soda, on the
other hand, you can linger a little bit more. But
(18:20):
they do different things et cetera, et cetera. So, yes,
baking you actually want to pay attention to how you
combine any ingredients, how much you mix them, et cetera,
et cetera.
Speaker 5 (18:30):
But cooking is a lot there's a lot more rope
to hang yourself.
Speaker 2 (18:34):
Yes, yeah, I was watching and I said this before
we started recording. But one of the joys of Oil
and Water is when you make something like, for example,
there was a cinnamon roll and chili enchiladas, and I
thought this could turn out because I've sort of had
like molet sauce is a little sweet and savory, and
(18:56):
when you took that bite, I was like, she either
is about to throw up or enjoying the flavor profile,
and that one was kind of you kind of liked it.
Speaker 4 (19:05):
It wasn't terrible, which is high praise on Oil and Water.
Speaker 1 (19:09):
It's not terrible.
Speaker 5 (19:11):
High praise.
Speaker 4 (19:13):
Yes, boy, I've made some terrible things, Like we did
a Halloween episode where I went pre determined that the
thing was going to be a candy apple because it's Halloween,
but the two ingredients had all be orange, like the
savory bowl and sweet ball both had only orange things
in it, and those were random. And I chose skittles,
which aren't all orange, but you take the point and
(19:36):
salmon row, which is orange and disgusting. Yes, And I
put it on a candy apple with my hail Marios
get a hail mary to try to sort of bring
two opposite ends together in the sweet and savory and
in this case is white chocolate.
Speaker 5 (19:53):
And boy, that was fuck wo Yeah. I actually had
deced it on.
Speaker 3 (19:58):
A fire.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
So that it would never exist again. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (20:03):
Actually literally, when.
Speaker 2 (20:05):
I was a little kid, we my aunts and uncles
will come in town from California for some of the holidays.
Speaker 1 (20:10):
I grew up in Maryland, and my grandmother would have
that you're from.
Speaker 2 (20:14):
Washington, DC. Yes, I saw that. I it's a good no, no, no,
I drove down. Do you know the Black Aggie statue,
the haunted statue. It's from Druid Hill Park, Maryland, but
now it's in Washington, d C. It's a very creepy
haunted statue that I'm writing something about now, and I
went down to visit it, and it's even scarier in
(20:36):
real life. Oh, it is so disturbing.
Speaker 1 (20:39):
I remember when it was in Druid Hill.
Speaker 2 (20:41):
Yes, they removed it. They put in the Smithsonian and
people were freaking out looking at it, so they got
rid of it then too. It's like this very it's
a long history of this former statue that a general
had a sculptor steal the design of a sculpture called
Grief and at certain times a day this it's a
veiled woman sitting there are motionless, and then the darkness
(21:02):
covers her face. Black Aggie is so creepy. But it's
currently just behind a federal office building in a courtyard
and it's a little it's like the Dolly Madison House
or something. It's if you're ever in DC visiting, folks,
go freak yourself out. Okay, So my grandmother, who was
a fantastic, fantastic cook, she was overwhelmed with the four
(21:24):
of us the grandkids, took us out to dinner at
an Italian place, came home, did the dishes, and the
next morning my parents came in and they're like, Mom,
why are their eggs on the ceiling? And she's like what?
And there were six eggs stuck to the ceiling in
the kitchen and she had been hard boiling eggs for
Easter eggs around Easter and left them in to take
(21:46):
us out to the restaurant, and they boiled over and
then the water went away and they were so hot
they became explosive and rocketed straight up and they just
stuck to the ceiling like pencils in a bathroom and
like in elementary school, and we could spell it, but
everybody was like, what is that? And then some smart
person just looks up and sees half a dozen eggs
(22:07):
sticking to the ceiling and.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
Whoa, oh, I love that.
Speaker 4 (22:13):
See that's that's like it's like kitchen MythBusters. That is
a damn good story, Scottie, you.
Speaker 1 (22:22):
Thank you well.
Speaker 2 (22:23):
Let's transition into another real story. How about that famay
hardly picked out specifically for you. You're such a great
voice actor, you'll I think you'll get a kick out
of this. This is from Sylvia Thompson at Irish Times
dot com. We love we check in with Irish Times
dot com.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
This is not the first story for road There. Yeah yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (22:44):
There was a dolphin that was like just in one
bay for a very long and then he he swam
away and the whole town was heartbroken, like a whole
local economy collapsed because of it, because everyone would come
to see the dolphin.
Speaker 1 (22:57):
It was a pretty tench story.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
Good old, good old FUNGI your fun guy. We don't
know what his name is, Sylvia, our number one mascot
of the show. No idea how to pronounce It's Sylvia
Thompson wrote this best in the biz. Wouldn't tape sent
this in Think you wouldn't tapes. Australian woman awakes from
surgery with full Irish accent.
Speaker 5 (23:22):
I heard about that. I heard about that.
Speaker 2 (23:24):
Yeah, she has never been to Ireland and it seems
to be and it's an extreme rare condition called foreign
accent syndrome.
Speaker 1 (23:33):
Oh look at that, perfectly named.
Speaker 2 (23:36):
An Australian Asian woman who woke up from surgery on
her tonsils, which so it wasn't like green surgery. Yes,
that's the part that blew me away the most. I
thought she was in a coma and popped out. Nope,
just getting those tonsils popped. An Australian Asian woman who
woke up from surgery on her tonsils began speaking in
what seems to be an Irish accent. The video is
(23:58):
so good. She's been document unting her experience on TikTok.
The twenty seven year old Brisbane dentist and Yen decided
to post regular videos of her new accent. When people
dubbed her a hoax, I mean, we live in a
cynical world, but this is very funny. Otherwise, well, Yen
was sent home to recover from her surgery, with doctors
(24:19):
suggesting her vocal cords would heal over time. As their
story traveled around the world, experts recognize that Yen, who
has never been to Ireland, is suffering from a very
rare condition known as foreign accent syndrome. Oh, it is
really funny to watch and it must sound even stranger
(24:39):
in Australia, like in parts of America. You could kind
of fudge it and get away with it.
Speaker 3 (24:43):
But who so would they think it's something to do
with the vocal cords. It's not like a brain, say,
it's neurological.
Speaker 2 (24:52):
So the first instance was reported by a French neurologist,
Pierre Marie in nineteen oh seven. It occurs usually after
a stroke, but can also be caused or developed with
head trauma, migraine, seizures, or surgery to the mouth and face. WOA,
So I know, is that wild the results? And this
(25:14):
is the case with this young lady, which is just incredible.
It's not only the person loses their natural accent, they
have a different pitch intonation and word pronunciation and so
her start up here like it's that almost stereotypical like,
what the accent she's doing feels almost like somebody's doing
a Lucky Charms commercial or something stereotypical. Yeah, it's not
(25:36):
quite accurate. Only about one hundred cases of foreign accent
syndrome have been reported worldwide and has been found more
commonly in women than men. In twenty thirteen, BBC showed
a documentary about a woman from Devon who had a
Chinese accent.
Speaker 1 (25:53):
That resulted from a severe migrain. No, oh, no, she
would be canceled now she was a public figure at all.
Speaker 2 (26:04):
Oh.
Speaker 1 (26:04):
Oh my god, Oh my god.
Speaker 4 (26:07):
I am actually I'm charmed that this woman her last
name is Yen.
Speaker 1 (26:11):
Yes, yeah, is it Sylvia?
Speaker 4 (26:14):
And yeah, uh, that she thinks that putting a video
out on TikTok is somehow proof of veracity.
Speaker 1 (26:24):
That's right, TikTok's real.
Speaker 5 (26:27):
It's real. Everything on the internet is real. I'm like, baby,
come on, I want to help you out. That might
not be the way.
Speaker 2 (26:36):
It is so insane, it really is. And I encourage
all the ban animals to go on TikTok and Yen
it's really incredible. The only one posts the video. Yeah,
we'll post the video in her stories. We'll figure out
a way to do it. It's uh, it like you're
laughing and you feel bad for her, but you just
can't stop laughing, like I want to be like oh.
(26:57):
But then it's also like still understand her and still
English based languages, so she's not losing communications. She's gonna Actually,
who doesn't love Irish people? When you're in New York,
people walk up to you in a bar and go,
I'm Irish, and then you just start drinking and partying
with them exactly.
Speaker 4 (27:15):
It's sort of like Americans feel like any person from
the UK could just read the phone book, and especially women,
We're just like, oh, get to the seas. Yeah, yeah, yeah, ridiculous.
Is Anne distressed by this condition or is she very
much enjoying her her her new verbiage, her new Lexiconish.
Speaker 2 (27:40):
Yes in the article, it doesn't say in the In
the videos, she seems to be enjoying it. The first
one I watched she was trying to prove people that
it's real, and then the other one she was just
talking like making a TikTok and like it's still going on.
Speaker 4 (27:54):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (27:55):
I would love to ask her if she could do
an Australian accent. But with her Irish act hole, marg
that's what I would like to know what it sounds
like like an.
Speaker 4 (28:06):
Irish person trying to do an Australian accent. Yes, brilliant,
that's really good.
Speaker 2 (28:12):
Is there have you met hardly any of the voice
actors and other countries that do Lisa that you really liked,
like that you really responded to what they were doing.
Speaker 5 (28:21):
Yes, I actually I haven't met them.
Speaker 4 (28:23):
But I had a shoe company for five years and
we made the shoes in Italy. So I used to
go to Italy twice a year to work with the
factories and we had we were in two factories there
and go to the tanneries and pick the materials. And
every day at lunch we would I was not I was.
We were in Florence. That's where I stayed over, you know,
(28:45):
where the hotel was, But I was out in the
suburbs where it's still beautiful, but it's you know, it
ain't Florence. So you would go to the local truck
stop and have lunch every you know, for the days
that I was there, and every single day The Simpsons
was on in Italian at lunch.
Speaker 5 (29:03):
And I have to say that the Italian.
Speaker 4 (29:05):
Lisa Simpson was very good. Sounded a lot like me, yes,
but the and Marge was pretty close to but Homer
and Bart not at all. And what I found in
the foreign languages when they dubbed the Simpsons is you you.
I don't think I've ever heard a full cast that
(29:25):
sounds like the American cast in terms of vocal musicality.
Speaker 2 (29:33):
Quality, that harmony of you all sound different on the show.
All the characters do sound different, but it weaves together.
Speaker 5 (29:40):
Yeah, so it's it's really so.
Speaker 4 (29:43):
I had no idea what she was saying, but it
was really fun because they were old episodes and I
was like, oh, yeah, I sort of remember that episode,
but I don't actually have a very good memory.
Speaker 5 (29:53):
So I was like, but I can't tell you what
this would see.
Speaker 1 (29:55):
This is like that for you, So.
Speaker 3 (29:59):
It isn't amazing in Italy, I remember what last time
I was there. The best lunch I had was at
a truck stop. Absolutely, it was a three course meal
with a bottle of wine.
Speaker 1 (30:09):
My mind.
Speaker 3 (30:11):
It was a gas station. We had like two tables
and it was the best food I had the whole trip.
Speaker 4 (30:18):
Hey, because Nana is cooking in the back room, right.
She just like brought all her pots and pants and
got the local produce, Like, all right, here's lunch today.
Speaker 2 (30:28):
Yeah, I had no idea. That's a learnt. We actually
taught something today on Bananas. Go to Italy, make a
truck stop, enjoy a beautiful three course lunch.
Speaker 1 (30:38):
Do you want to tease us into a break?
Speaker 3 (30:40):
Yes, please meet the nun who wants you to remember
you will die.
Speaker 1 (30:48):
All right, we'll be right back.
Speaker 2 (30:49):
Bananas Mt Bana, Bana.
Speaker 5 (31:06):
Bana's Day, Bananas, Banana.
Speaker 3 (31:18):
Ladies, gentlemen, non binary folks, welcome back to the show.
This is Bananas. If you haven't yet, Oh what big reminder? Hamden, Connecticut?
How many conmember twenty third I'm going to be there
at Space Ballroom and of course Philly, Philly, Philly. I'm
going to be there June seventeenth, eighteenth, and nineteenth at
(31:40):
the Helium in Philly.
Speaker 2 (31:41):
Go see it.
Speaker 1 (31:42):
Go to our Instagram right now and sign up and
send us your weird news at the Bananas Podcast.
Speaker 2 (31:50):
That's right, And I just want to give a shout
out to dream Situations, who messaged us on our Instagram
letting us know that she named three chickens Kurt, Oh,
Scottie and Laren Sadly Lauren was eaten by a dog.
Speaker 1 (32:03):
But Kurt and Scotty.
Speaker 2 (32:07):
Wait, but the good thing about chickens is they keep
laying eggs, so there will be a Lauren two point zero.
I hope it's a buff Orpington chicken. And we hope
that little kurdiebe and little Scottie live long and prosperous lives.
Speaker 3 (32:20):
And one more shout out. I got this message off
the banana phone. You guys can keep trying the banana phone.
I have been in charge of the banana phone for
the first time, and it is too much for brown
older to handle. It is so many I'm no longer
answering the phone. I'm scared of it. I'm trying to
respond to your text. Sorry if they're taking a while. Yeah,
(32:42):
it's terrifying the but I don't know how Scotty does
it at the Instagram is enough. Instagram is already overwhelming. Yeah,
the banana phone.
Speaker 2 (32:50):
Early in the podcast, we had Mint Mobiles give us
a free phone service and a free phone for a
year where anybody can call and talk to me for
a minute and then I hang up on him. And
at first it was very cute and pleasant, you know,
three four nice calls a day, and then people figured
out the text thing and now Kurt, is it two
hundred texts and fifty calls a day.
Speaker 3 (33:09):
Yeah, yeah, pretty much. So it's it's too much. But
we did get this very nice message. This is from
uh Mac. He is from Grant's Pass, Oregon, and he
just wanted us to shout out pharmacy texts in an episode.
In general, we will totally shout out farm pharmacy texts.
Speaker 1 (33:29):
Yeah, technicians not like tex Yeah, like ones. Okay, yeah yeah, yeah,
yeah yeah.
Speaker 3 (33:36):
We are the backbone of this society right now making
COVID vaccine clinics open and giving vaccination. And so thank
you so much to our pharmacy texts. I didn't even
know it was quite a job.
Speaker 1 (33:48):
A job probably our lives. Thank you.
Speaker 5 (33:52):
Yeah. I went, I've been double vaxed.
Speaker 2 (33:56):
Hell yeah.
Speaker 4 (33:56):
I got the Pfizer and actually was really lucky. I
only had four hours after the second one where I
felt nauseous and I had a terrible headache. But it
was like a tornado. It blew in it sort of
like and then it just blew out. I was like what, Oh,
oh okay, nothing like the flu.
Speaker 1 (34:18):
No, oh no. And I felt it. I had just
like very little like I just felt achy.
Speaker 3 (34:23):
But I was like, oh, this is the ache of freedom, baby,
and wait to go out and lick some doorknobs.
Speaker 2 (34:29):
After this, I day two Pfizer Shot two felt I
don't know a better word for it. I felt horny.
In the afternoon, I had full energy.
Speaker 1 (34:40):
You dow eted that, and I was wondering if it
was real.
Speaker 2 (34:42):
Undred percent true. At about four pm the day after,
I was writing a script and I was looking at
the screen and I was like, I feel very turned
I think, And I was like, I'm going to go
get a brisk breeze on my deck. And I stood
outside and I just let the air wash over me.
And about an hour later, I was back to normal and.
Speaker 1 (35:02):
Normal hours. Apressive. Yeah, so sign for number three. I'll
take that booster number four.
Speaker 2 (35:11):
It was great.
Speaker 1 (35:13):
Oh yeah, then that you're speaking of, which.
Speaker 3 (35:15):
Oh yeah, this is this is absolutely fascinating. This is
sent into us by m Striff. This is multiple stories.
She's gotten very good, top tier. It is this is
from the New York Times. Meet the nun who wants
you to remember you will die yep, all right, written
(35:37):
by the best journalist Ruth Graham.
Speaker 1 (35:41):
Thank you so much, Ruth.
Speaker 2 (35:42):
God she's good or he's probably.
Speaker 3 (35:44):
From May fourteenth, twenty twenty one, before she entered the
Daughters of Saint Paul Convent. In twenty ten, Sister Teresa
Aleithia Noble read a biography of the Orders founder and
Italian priest. Was born in the eighteen eighties. Okay, he
kept a ceramic skull on his desk as a reminder
of the inevitability of death. Sister Alithea, a punk fan,
(36:05):
as a teenager, thought that morbid curier was curio was
quote super punk rock. She recalled recently, she thought vaguely
about acquiring a skull for herself someday. These days, Sister
Alethia has no shortage of skulls. People send her skull
mugs and skull rosaries in the mail and share photos
of their skull tattoos. That is because since twenty seventeen,
(36:27):
she's made it her mission to revive the practice of
memento moriy, a Latin phrase meaning remember your death Oh.
The concept is to intentionally think about your own death
every day as a means of appreciating the present and
focusing on the future. It can seem radical in an
era in which death, until very recently, has become easy
(36:49):
to ignore.
Speaker 1 (36:50):
Okay, it seems like.
Speaker 4 (36:51):
A lot of pressure to have to get for that
to be the reason you're gonna live today.
Speaker 5 (36:57):
Fully, that's just a high bar to.
Speaker 3 (37:00):
Think about your death, right, Yeah, like to live. In
order to live, you have to think about the ending
of the living.
Speaker 5 (37:06):
Could maybe it not be that dramatic?
Speaker 4 (37:08):
Could you just fucking wake up and go, Hey, it's Wednesday,
I like to day. I'm good.
Speaker 1 (37:13):
This is Catholicism. It has to be dramatic. Sorry, sure, it's.
Speaker 2 (37:17):
All about service. And isn't that the way you start
every movie? As soon as it begins, you go, this
is gonna end. So I need to appreciate this right now.
Speaker 5 (37:25):
Yes, exactly. Talk about not living in the moment? No,
maybe we just a.
Speaker 3 (37:30):
Little err It is very interesting that it's about living
in the moment but thinking about the future.
Speaker 1 (37:36):
You know, that is like that reverse thing. But I
do kind of guys, I would say, I'm kind of
like it.
Speaker 2 (37:43):
Well, you were raised.
Speaker 4 (37:44):
Kind of like it.
Speaker 1 (37:45):
I was raised Catholic.
Speaker 5 (37:46):
I could tell by the way you pronounced all her names.
Speaker 1 (37:53):
Lithea. I mean, you know that's the one she chose
for you know, nobody named that.
Speaker 5 (37:59):
So what's the what do you like?
Speaker 1 (38:01):
What do I like about it?
Speaker 2 (38:03):
Is it?
Speaker 1 (38:03):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (38:03):
I do want to know as a as a tea,
I just this is something maybe personally I just went
through recently, but as a teenager, I would think about
death a lot, and like think about like the like
today is a good day to die, like reassure myself
of that like idea in thinking like I have to
be okay with whatever happens because today I might die.
And then I for a long period twenties and thirties,
(38:26):
I just kind of forgot about this idea.
Speaker 1 (38:28):
I'd never thought about it.
Speaker 3 (38:30):
And then I had kids, and then recently a good
friend of mine passed, and I've just been thinking about
death more often, or the idea that like all this
ends and you see your kids, you know, and they're young,
little kids, of just like this is this is, this
is the future now, and I'm the past. I'm gonna
(38:51):
be going and so I just have to make sure
this is good. So the majority of my energies into
making sure that the future exists through them. But knowing that,
like they're going to watch me die the way I
watch my mom die, and I've just been thinking about
it a lot. This is a nice way to the
fact that I'm like obsessed with death right now, to
actually allow it to help me be present, which is
(39:14):
something I've I'm always trying to be.
Speaker 2 (39:16):
You're very good at it.
Speaker 3 (39:18):
That's something that I'm That's something I take from this
memento Maury of the idea of like, I gonna be
thinking about it anyway, so let least let it be positive,
you know, as opposed to.
Speaker 2 (39:30):
Turn into the skid.
Speaker 1 (39:32):
Yeah, it's the safest way to be.
Speaker 2 (39:38):
I hardly. I have a skeleton that I keep in
the back of my car and drive from Los Angeles
with I've had it for seven years. Has many names.
Everybody that gets the names it's something different. But I
have a little convertible and it sits in the back seat.
And one day at a red light, I was somewhere
down on Beverly, Uh, this guy pulls up next to
me a convertim. He goes, who are you? And I go,
(40:00):
I'm just a dude, man, I'm just a dude. He goes, No,
you're like a movie or something, and I go, no, no, no,
I'm not a movie. And he goes, what's the skeleton for.
I was like, it's for it's for a conversation, like
it was for what we were doing. He goes, yeah,
but what movie are you doing? Like he thought me
and the skeleton where like I was playing up an
old movie. He go I was like, na, man, it's
just like a bit, it's just a joke. And he goes,
(40:21):
are you back to the future, Just like no, no, desert,
no right, And then so then the light turns green
we drive away. I'm like, no, I'm not back to
the future. And then he got kind of mad and
just drove away, like, oh, we'll screw you.
Speaker 1 (40:34):
You ain't back to the future. About hagging it out.
Speaker 2 (40:36):
So then I went back and watched back to the
future because I was like, is there a skeleton back then?
Speaker 1 (40:40):
There isn't. And I'm like, no, I guess just death
and not death in the front seat.
Speaker 2 (40:44):
This guy just did the.
Speaker 1 (40:45):
Math for me.
Speaker 4 (40:49):
It just didn't seem like enough that you would put
that in your back seat for conversation at a red light.
Speaker 2 (40:54):
Just absurdity. Just Kurt and I are big fans of
being absurd for being absurd, and he was not having it.
It needed a theme and a reference reason.
Speaker 5 (41:04):
It needed a reason.
Speaker 4 (41:05):
That's so funny, and then people really get their panties
and are not when you're like, listen, asshole, your reason
doesn't line up with by reason.
Speaker 2 (41:15):
Yes, And I'm just smiling at him, going no, man,
it's really not. I wasn't like, hey, start walking eat rocks,
bud right, it was so cool. Just I should have
just said, yes, it's back to the future. You got it.
You should be on my trivia team. You're very good
at these sort of things.
Speaker 3 (41:31):
There's cameras everywhere, and they're going to follow you for
the rest.
Speaker 2 (41:34):
Of your life. Congratulations, you just won twenty five hundred dollars.
Speaker 5 (41:38):
You would have followed you home.
Speaker 2 (41:40):
So yeah, that's a good point.
Speaker 1 (41:43):
I have one for you this yardly.
Speaker 2 (41:45):
This is specific. I was reading the early in your
acting career that you were getting cast quite often as
well below your age, that you looked way younger than
your age. So your first allow of your first roles,
you're playing twelve and you were twenty that sort of yep, yep. Well,
and I remember the first time I saw you. It
was in city was in city slickers for sure A
(42:06):
very memorable part.
Speaker 5 (42:07):
Thank you, and.
Speaker 2 (42:10):
This lady might have you beat but not really so.
This is from nbcnews dot com. This is written don't oh,
this was written by what a name? Mini von Burke.
M bend be Mini von Burke. I'm sent in by
trash Panda Thomas. Thank you trash Panda Thomas.
Speaker 5 (42:33):
I read from Detective Dan. I learned what the trash
panda is.
Speaker 1 (42:36):
Yeah, it's a raccoon. Right, it's a raccoon.
Speaker 2 (42:38):
Oh yeah, who knew? They're all over my backyard?
Speaker 3 (42:43):
Uh.
Speaker 2 (42:44):
Mini von Burke wrote this one nbcnews dot Com. Twenty
nine year old woman posed as a student sneaked into
a high school just to promote her Instagram account. Wow, police, say, Audrey,
I'm going to butcher this last name Franciscini. Let's say
francis KINI entered American Senior High School through the front
doors by blending in with students. A twenty nine year
(43:07):
old woman was arrested after authorities says she posed as
a high schooler and snuck into this Miami Dade County
school to promote her Instagram page.
Speaker 5 (43:17):
We feel like I used my powers only for good.
This does not comport.
Speaker 2 (43:23):
Did you ever use them for good outside of auditioning
and that sort of thing? Like did you ever get
discounts at amusement parks and movie theaters or anything?
Speaker 5 (43:30):
Nope, nope.
Speaker 4 (43:32):
I'm actually a terrible liar. I was actually part of
the Dharma and Greg team on Hollywood Squares.
Speaker 5 (43:39):
A couple of times. If they needed somebody to fill
a square, I'm like, okay, sure.
Speaker 4 (43:44):
And the premise of the Hollywood Squares is that they
read they get it. You have to you have to
sell somebody on a definition of something right or.
Speaker 1 (43:55):
A coughing game kind yes, yeah.
Speaker 4 (43:57):
And I if I knew it was my god, I
could not.
Speaker 5 (44:02):
I could not do it.
Speaker 4 (44:04):
And they were like, you stuck at this. You are
a terrible, terrible teammate for this game. I thought, you're right,
I am this is not good, not good.
Speaker 3 (44:13):
So no, I'm.
Speaker 2 (44:15):
Yeah, good, Well that's good. You love lived a straight
in narrow life.
Speaker 4 (44:19):
I think you're disappointed, Scottie. And you're like, you're no front,
no boring as could be, not at all.
Speaker 2 (44:27):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (44:28):
Francis Keeni or Franz Keeny.
Speaker 2 (44:30):
Was able to sneak her way into the front doors
by blending with students, She carried a book bag and
dressed quote similar to students, You're gonna love.
Speaker 1 (44:37):
This Kurt holding a skateboard and carrying a painting.
Speaker 2 (44:41):
You know, just like a normal high school student. So
you know what it's like when when we were all
in high school and you just cruise in with your
cool high school clothes, carrying a book bag, a skateboard,
and a painting.
Speaker 1 (44:54):
Under your arms. Why don't you call you similar aged kids?
Speaker 2 (44:58):
Kids love painting that, you know, not smartphones, not a
They love painting. Once inside, she handed out pamphlets with
her Instagram name on them and asked students to follow her. Mean,
this is amazingly something.
Speaker 3 (45:12):
The idea that I mean, just that, like ending flyers
out for your Instagram, is so against the whole concept.
Speaker 2 (45:21):
Premeditated, it's so insane. Premeditated if right, if she hadn't
done the pamphlet step and the wardrobe step, if she
had just gone I was driving by and I thought
it'd be funny. Then you go, well you're weird, but
I get it.
Speaker 1 (45:34):
This is like she planned this.
Speaker 2 (45:35):
She went to Kinko's, so security stopped her after seeing
her walking in the halls while classes were in sessions,
so okay, uh. And she said she was looking for
the registration office, not a bad lie. But instead of
going to the office, she just kept roaming the halls.
She was stopped a second time by security and she fled,
(45:56):
prompting security to report a quote potential threat on campus.
Of course, would there's an adult around children? Never a
good thing. Let's see. She got arrested and was taken
to Miami Day Jail, and she has since been released.
But yeah, to me, it was it was one to
gain Instagram followers and nothing else there wasn't so crazy.
(46:17):
It's so weird. Keeping up with the Joneses has completely
transformed into something. This is very, very odd and crazy.
Speaker 1 (46:25):
Yeah, Yardley, did you enjoy high school? Did you? I did?
Speaker 5 (46:31):
I was.
Speaker 4 (46:32):
I did drama like I did school plays in high
school and then actually and I didn't do sports. I
didn't do anything else, which is probably why I didn't
get into college, because they were like, your grades are okay,
but you don't like you're.
Speaker 5 (46:46):
Not well rounded, so forget you.
Speaker 4 (46:48):
Right, But when I was fourteen, I auditioned at a
dinner theater outside of Washington, d C. And they were
doing a plagiarized version of Peter.
Speaker 1 (46:58):
Pan Great, I ad, yeah, perfect, And all.
Speaker 4 (47:08):
The dumb thing was they used the same story in
all the proper names, but they wrote their own music
and songs to it.
Speaker 3 (47:18):
Right.
Speaker 5 (47:19):
And I ended up playing tinker.
Speaker 4 (47:21):
Bell, and I was bigger than all of the Lost boys,
all of whom were girls anyway, And the Dinner Theater
was going under, but I didn't know that at the time,
and accept that quite frequently, and I did it for
months months. Quite frequently, performances would be canceled because there
(47:41):
were more people on stage than there were in the audience,
or nobody showed up. And during the performance, during intermission,
the woman who played Peter had to go out and
wait tables. And then I remember being told that we
were going to Broadway, and I was like, oh, excellent,
I am ready, let's get this show on the road.
Speaker 5 (48:03):
Yeah, well, they're going belly up.
Speaker 4 (48:05):
And one night I showed up to the Dinner Theater
and there was a notice from the health department and
a notice on the door, and nobody had called to say, yardly,
you don't have to come to the theater tonight.
Speaker 5 (48:17):
Eighteen Yeah, so my mother would drive me obviously.
Speaker 4 (48:21):
And I also I got paid fifty dollars a week,
which was a lot more money than i'd ever been
ever made. But after about the second paycheck they started
to bounce. Oh. I remember thinking like, it's okay, it
doesn't matter, you know, it's just a little hitching the
gide up. It's gonna be all right. So I don't
(48:42):
think I ever got paid after the second check.
Speaker 5 (48:45):
But I was in.
Speaker 1 (48:45):
I was all in.
Speaker 5 (48:46):
I was in up to my eyeballs.
Speaker 3 (48:48):
That owner just hopped in his car, tore off and
drove to the Trent and then opened up forty first Street.
Speaker 5 (48:56):
Yes, yes, probably yeah. And I also it was you know,
it didn't feel like that.
Speaker 4 (49:06):
I think I just thought like, okay, it was I
was the heartbreaking part was when people wouldn't show.
Speaker 5 (49:13):
I was like, what do you come on, we're acting
our asses off up here.
Speaker 4 (49:18):
And his tinkerbell I had to, you know, fly, I'm
making little quotation marks for your listeners. And so, but
I had a harness that was like it looked sort
of like later hosen, but it was thick like you
could And then he hooked me to a chain that
you would pull a semi truck with like it was
so fucking heavy, this thing. And then the guy who
(49:40):
owned the theater would stand backstage and pull on a
rope like you're pulling drapes, you know.
Speaker 5 (49:47):
Yeah, and my chain would go.
Speaker 4 (49:53):
Just sort of screech across the stage while I'm singing
my solo.
Speaker 5 (49:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (50:00):
That's a lot of happy thoughts at that theater, between
the food poisoning, the nose, the bouncing checks, the killer
special effects team.
Speaker 1 (50:11):
Wow, but it got your stage. You're a performer.
Speaker 3 (50:14):
Cool, I know, to be a paid performer at fourteen
for the stage incredible trotting the boards, Yeah, I know, I.
Speaker 4 (50:23):
Know it was. And then actually they then they started
to do two shows at once, and they did a
plagiarized version of the Three Musketeers and I played a
little old Italian man with a black curly wig and
gold lemae leggings. Yeah. I was like, Wowyard, looking back,
(50:46):
You're like, just no fear right.
Speaker 1 (50:48):
No, that's what it takes good for you.
Speaker 5 (50:51):
No shame either way.
Speaker 1 (50:54):
It's the same thing. It's the same thing. Should we
have one last story to send this home?
Speaker 2 (51:00):
Guys?
Speaker 1 (51:01):
Yeah, so fast, I know it's a it's a fast one. Uh,
this is amazing.
Speaker 3 (51:10):
Woman named Crystal Methanie arrested for firing missile into car.
It's not exactly I got this, we got I got
this d M to me and I was just like,
no way, this is real.
Speaker 1 (51:26):
And then I went and it is real. It is real.
Speaker 2 (51:31):
Gosh, there is.
Speaker 1 (51:32):
And also, so missile is like the actual term the
police use. I will I will read it here. So
it's not an.
Speaker 4 (51:40):
Actual missile, like we're gonna launch it onto another country
kind of thing.
Speaker 1 (51:44):
It could be, but it probably wasn't the answer.
Speaker 2 (51:48):
Okay, it could have been a bottle rocket, is what
we're gonna learn here.
Speaker 1 (51:52):
Here we go.
Speaker 3 (51:54):
This was sent in by Laura Sosa. Thank you so much, Laura.
That not thousands of bananimals cent Crystal. This is the
most bananas. Crystal Methany shoots missile.
Speaker 2 (52:06):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (52:08):
Sent it by Laura Sosa.
Speaker 3 (52:09):
This was written by Hillary Hanson Best in the Biz
over at the Huffington Post.
Speaker 2 (52:15):
She's so good, so good.
Speaker 3 (52:18):
We clearly don't need you to tell the state. We
clearly don't need to tell you the state where this
took place. Thank you so much, Hillary, because it's obviously
for Florida. Crystal Methanie, thirty six, was arrested last month
for shooting a missile six YEP shooting a missile into
a vehicle, according to records from the Polk County Sheriff's
Office in Florida. It should be noted that under Florida law,
(52:41):
a missile can be defined as a stone or other
hard substance, So this should not be construed to me
launch of rockets into She was she was launching something.
It was definitely it wasn't just thrown. Methanie was also
arrested in twenty twelve on him marijuana charge. Jezebel's Mark
(53:02):
Schraber writes that he called the Polk County Sheriff's office
to confirm that this was Methanie's real name and not
an alias. When he expressed his amazement over the moniker,
a Sheriff's office spokeswoman identified only as Linda told him, sir,
this is Florida.
Speaker 1 (53:16):
We got a lot of interesting names here.
Speaker 3 (53:20):
She's not wrong, she is not wrong. Her name was
Linda gator face.
Speaker 2 (53:29):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (53:30):
Yeah, pretty amazing, Yardley. Do you have anything you want
to talk about before you before?
Speaker 4 (53:41):
Sure, small town Dix. We're everywhere anywhere you liked to
pod as the kids say, it's really very very good.
It's very it's really reverent toward the victims. And like
I said, all the cases are told by the detectives
who investigated.
Speaker 1 (53:55):
Them, so right there.
Speaker 4 (53:59):
And Oil and Water, which you can find on the
tube of you YouTube, yeah, and Instagram at oil and
at oil and water food, and it's just it's six
to eight minutes of you know, happy grins because it's
dumb entertainment for troubling jubs.
Speaker 5 (54:18):
No, thank you, this is so much fun.
Speaker 4 (54:21):
You guys are loveliest pie. I love that you are
up on your current events. I love that you actually read.
That's very impressive in this day and age.
Speaker 1 (54:31):
As we know.
Speaker 2 (54:33):
Certainly, welcome back anytime you want to talk about Banana's
news stories. We'd love to have you.
Speaker 5 (54:38):
Okay, I'd love to come. Thank you.
Speaker 4 (54:41):
This was wonderful, so good and congratulations again. Listen, I
always say when people ask me, so small town Dicks.
We're finishing season eight, but we're actually not quite four
years old. We do about two seasons a year, and
I people, you know, I've been on a few panels
when we still used to do panels in the before
(55:02):
times and people like how do you host?
Speaker 5 (55:04):
Who says?
Speaker 4 (55:06):
And there are a couple of things. One, you have
to I believe you have to do it for you, Yes, right,
because you got to play.
Speaker 5 (55:11):
The long game, enjoy it exactly absolutely.
Speaker 4 (55:14):
But the other thing is it's one thing to get
people to your podcast. The real work is keeping them.
So the fact that you guys have been on for
a year and you're so successful and your audience continues
to grow, that they're so engaged is no small feet, gentlemen.
Speaker 5 (55:30):
It really hats off to you.
Speaker 3 (55:32):
Oh yeah, remind myself that I'm going to die and
I appreciate that we have so many bananimals every day.
Speaker 2 (55:39):
Yes, and I'm going to live forever and I do
bananas for Kurt. So it's a very short dynamic, but
we're thrilled to perfectana. This has been an exactly right
production and engineered by Katie Levine, the music by Kahon,
(56:03):
and all of our artwork.
Speaker 1 (56:04):
Is done by Travis Millard.
Speaker 2 (56:05):
You can follow us on Instagram at the Bananas Podcast,
where we post stories every day and things that we
don't cover on the podcast.
Speaker 3 (56:12):
Listen, subscribe, and please leave us a review on Apple podcast, Stitcher,
or wherever you get your podcast.
Speaker 2 (56:18):
And if you're interested in advertising on Bananas, please email
us at the Bananas Podcast at gmail dot com. That's
the Bananas Podcast at gmail dot com.
Speaker 3 (56:35):
B
Host
Scotty Landes
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