May 29, 2025 • 45 mins
The Kern family discovers what Joel was really doing on the clock. The investigation into his misconduct only scratches the surface.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey guys. Before we dive into the episode, we have
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(00:23):
as connect with others who have experienced betrayal. Just head
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Or just go to substack dot com, search beyond Betrayal
and hit subscribe.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
I'm embarrassed, I'm familiated, I'm ashamed. I know what I did.
I was wrong. I'm very sorry for it.
Speaker 3 (00:50):
Again, I take four responsibility for my actions and os
for mercy.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
I'm Andrea Gunning and this is Betrayal, Season four, Episode two,
Cat and Mouse. In the last episode, we met Caroline
Brega and learned about her husband, former Colorado Springs Police
Lieutenant Joel Kern. On the outside, they were the perfect
American family. Then on April eleventh, twenty twenty two, Joel
(01:31):
detonated a bomb on his life, a bomb that would
destroy his family. It started with the text he sent
to his wife that read.
Speaker 4 (01:41):
I was caught receiving oral sex from two women in
my cop car I lied about it during an internal
affairs investigation. I am now pending termination.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
April eleventh is now called D Day by Caroline and
her kids. Here's Caroline and Joel's daughter Nicole.
Speaker 5 (02:02):
That evening, I had a lacrosse game, and so I
started kind of getting ready for my lacrosse game.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
It started as a normal day, but it soon would
become an inflection point.
Speaker 5 (02:15):
My mom called me to follow her into the bathroom
and I don't even remember what she was doing, maybe
taking down her hair from her updal. She just was
acting off, and so I said what's wrong? And she
didn't respond.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
She was scared something was wrong. Did something happen?
Speaker 5 (02:43):
And then I said, is daddy okay?
Speaker 1 (02:47):
Caroline was at a loss for words. They all lived
with the fear that one day Joel wouldn't come home
from work. But Joel wasn't injured or killed in the
line of duty. Still nothing was okay. Caroline and Joel's
son was a freshman in college far from home.
Speaker 6 (03:08):
I get a call from my sister and so I
send it to voicemail. I get another call, and then
I had the text to reply, and I say, I'm
about to walk into a chemistry medterm. Can I call
you after? And she texted back no, it's an emergency.
So I pick up the phone and I call her,
and I remember my mom and my sister shaken up
(03:34):
in tears.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
The family met in the living room. Nicole and Caroline
sat on the couch. Caroline and Joel's son was on
speaker phone, and Joel stood in front of the fireplace.
It was the most bizarre family meeting you could imagine.
It felt like someone else's life, but no, it was
happening in their home.
Speaker 4 (03:57):
Our daughter's sitting right next to me, our son's on
the phone, and the three of us are just in hysterics.
You can hear our son hysterically crying, our daughter's hysterically crying.
And I said, you need to tell the kids what's
going on.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
What was going on? Well, to understand the events of
April eleven, twenty twenty two, we need to go back
a few months prior to February fifth. That day, a
stranger showed up on Caroline and Joel's doorstep. Joel was
(04:33):
home and answered the door. The whole interaction happened to
be recorded. The sound isn't great, but you'll get the
gist of it. And we've distorted the stranger's voice to
protect his privacy.
Speaker 7 (04:45):
He ane dogs, man O, chance was it?
Speaker 8 (04:52):
You know who I am?
Speaker 9 (04:53):
Here's my wife out the one that you're thought in
your cruiser?
Speaker 2 (04:57):
What are you talking about?
Speaker 4 (04:59):
I'm not here to.
Speaker 10 (04:59):
Arrest, but I'm saying, Joel, yeah, I'm talking about you
say my wife.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
Okay, my wife is there, Dave. I wouldn't want to
know if you know her. I have no idea what
you're talking about.
Speaker 10 (05:12):
And if that's the case, then I owe you an apology.
I'm not, like I said, I'm not here. If I
was wrong, want me leave.
Speaker 11 (05:16):
The Why are you here?
Speaker 2 (05:18):
So if you don't know my pro property, like I said,
I'm not hearing her, ask you, I will.
Speaker 10 (05:23):
That's not what I'm trying to do. I just wanted
to know you know my wife.
Speaker 2 (05:26):
No, I don't.
Speaker 10 (05:28):
I know you're a pop and all that stuff. Man,
I know that, but that's not cool. That that's not cool.
I just want you to stay away from my wife.
You can't even look me in the face and tell
me you made a mistake.
Speaker 12 (05:38):
Me.
Speaker 9 (05:39):
I don't even know who.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
She is, so leave.
Speaker 10 (05:43):
I thought you hadn't be able to look at me,
Manda Man and say, yeah, I did fuck your wife.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
I'm sorry for ruining your marriage.
Speaker 9 (05:47):
No, I'm not.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
You need to check your wife up because I'm not
doing anything.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
And with that, the couple took off and Joel was
left alone to contemplate what just happened. This man managed
to find his house and came right to his front door.
Caroline had been out on a run and missed the
whole confrontation by minutes, but Joel wasn't home alone. Nicole
was in the basement just doing her homework.
Speaker 5 (06:14):
Usually I would have went up and just saw who
was at the door with him, but for whatever reason,
I just continued to do my homework, and so later
on I asked him, you know who was at the door,
and then he just said like some solicitor.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
Joel carried on as if nothing happened. In fact, later
that night, Joel and Caroline went to a party. He
also never mentioned the confrontation to his family.
Speaker 4 (06:51):
It was a Yellowstone theme party and I'm throwing on
a blond wig pretending to be Beth and got him
a beard to be ripped. We left and we were
going to a friend's house who we had been to
their home hundreds of times. And he pulled up to
the wrong house and I said, what are you doing?
And so he was like, what do you mean? And
(07:12):
I said, you pulled up to the wrong house. He said, oh,
I didn't know that, And so, you know, we back out,
go to the right house. Okay.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
Caroline laughed it off in the moment. Looking back now,
she sees that Joel's mind was somewhere else that night.
But there was bad news for Joel. The stranger who
came to his door made another stop that day. After
he pulled out of Joel's driveway, he and his wife
drove straight to the Colorado Springs Police Department or CSPD,
(07:47):
and filed an official complaint against Joel. After all, an
officer having sex in his police car while on duty
would be a major professional violation. We filed an records
request so we could get those investigation records. Over the
past year, we received hundreds of pages from CSPD, all
(08:08):
relating to Joel Kern. We were also given actual audio
recordings from the investigation. What you're about to hear is
from one of those recordings. It's Joel's boss, Commander Strassner,
being interviewed by Internal Affairs about Joel's alleged misconduct.
Speaker 9 (08:28):
How did you.
Speaker 2 (08:28):
Become aware of this investigation? Can you kind of walk
me through?
Speaker 7 (08:31):
That's about February seventh. I got a call just advising
me that there was an internal a complaint that was
filed over the weekend regarding Lieutenant Kern possibly having sex
in the back of his vehicle.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
Strassner was one of the first people Joel went to.
When you heard about the complaint.
Speaker 7 (08:52):
He adamantly denies anything happened. He goes, I don't even
know these people. I don't know what they're talking about.
I haven't seen him before. There's no way I would
do that in a police car. He goes, made the
statement of I didn't have sex in the back of
my car when I was in high school or college.
I'm sure's the heck not going to do that now
kind of thing. Very visibly upset, almost in tears, and
(09:16):
just really angry about how somebody could file a false
complaint and turn his entire world upside down. In his
family upside down. So he was really upset and really
pissed off.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
But was his rage really directed at the couple from
making the complaint or was it directed at the Internal
affairs department for taking the complaint Seriously? Joel was an experienced,
respected police lieutenant. This investigation threatened to take all that away.
Speaker 7 (09:46):
He goes, I just don't understand why this couldn't have
been a preliminary inquiry. I tell you no, and this
thing be closed.
Speaker 1 (09:53):
A preliminary inquiry is like an initial check to see
if there's any valid reason to suspect that the officer
he has done something wrong. Internal affairs can then decide
to move forward with the investigation or close the matter.
Speaker 7 (10:06):
I said, look, Joel, you know why it couldn't have
been a preliminary inquiry. They got to go through the process.
Speaker 1 (10:13):
Let's be clear. What the complaint was alleging was no
ordinary affair. They were claiming police misconduct, an officer abusing
his badge, having sex in a taxpayer funded vehicle on
the public's time and in public. Remember, Joel had worked
in internal affairs years earlier. He understood how it operated. Ironically,
(10:38):
he had worked in the department with Commander Strassner.
Speaker 7 (10:42):
Sudden they have to do a thorough job, and he's like, yeah,
I get it, but he was very angry.
Speaker 1 (10:48):
But Strassner also gave Joel some reassurance.
Speaker 7 (10:53):
I said, look, I have no reason not to believe
anything that you're telling because if you didn't do that,
as you're saying either one or two things, they're completely
lining and they need to be charged with false reporting
or somebody's impersonating you. We need to get to the
end of that. And so we got to do this thoroughly,
and I'm going to make sure I stay in contact
(11:13):
with internal affairs to make sure it's a complete and
thorough investigation.
Speaker 1 (11:18):
Strassner could tell that Joel was distraught. This was a
serious matter. Someone could be filing a false report or
impersonating him. Strawsner assured Joel that if someone was victimizing him,
they would be held accountable. To complete the investigation, the
CSPD took Joel's police vehicle and his department issued phone.
Speaker 7 (11:42):
If it was me and his shoes and as he's saying,
all of it is fabricated, I would be incredibly upset
and angry. And to me it seemed very genuine and authentic.
I got no reason to doubt what he scene.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
This was recorded in February twenty twenty two. The investigation
into Joel had been going on for two months, two
months where he knew his life was on the brink
of collapse. Meanwhile, Caroline was completely in the dark. Joel
didn't tell her about the man on their doorstep or
the misconduct investigation. It seemed like Joel thought that with
(12:25):
his rank in years of service, he would be able
to talk his way out of this, but the CESPD
was taking it seriously. They went ahead and looked for
any evidence that would support the couple's claim, and that
included interviewing the man and his wife. Yes, the couple
who showed up at Joel's door agreed to cooperate, so
(12:47):
Internal Affairs sat with the woman Joel adamantly denied ever
seeing before. Here are some of that interview.
Speaker 8 (12:56):
Okay, this is a center field chance I with the
Colorado Springs Police Department Ternal Affairs Section Today's February seventeen,
twenty twenty two, also president as a general Affairs, Sergeant
Drew Jealous.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
Lieutenant Chanza asked the woman about how she met Joel.
She explained it was on a fetish and king social
network called betlife dot com. And as a note, we've
altered the voices of all the civilians interviewed by CSPD
to protect their privacy.
Speaker 8 (13:24):
What was it that initially drew your attention to the
person we're talking about today?
Speaker 13 (13:28):
He contacted me, just like Facebook has messenger, that there's
a messenger within it.
Speaker 1 (13:37):
Joel had suggested that they meet at a public park.
Speaker 13 (13:41):
I drove in my vehicle to go meet him. When
I got to the location, which was Memorial Park, he
was in what looked like an unmarked police car. I
imagine the first question would be, how would I know that.
I've got a number of officers in my family who
(14:03):
I've seen their unmarked vehicles. I do know what they
look like. He could see.
Speaker 2 (14:08):
I was nervous.
Speaker 13 (14:09):
I was shaken, and at that point it probably should
have stopped.
Speaker 8 (14:16):
Did the two if you have anything in common, any
fetishes as you describe them, that that kind of made
you kind of continue the conversation.
Speaker 13 (14:26):
Yes, he was into domination and I was into submission.
He told me that he would enjoy spanking me and
fisting me and choking me and pulling my hair?
Speaker 8 (14:46):
So what leads you to believe that this person was
a police officer?
Speaker 13 (14:48):
Meeting stated he was?
Speaker 8 (14:51):
Can you tell us a little more about that.
Speaker 13 (14:53):
He eventually told me his name, and you know, eventually
told me that he was a police officer with Springs
Police told me he did traffic investigations.
Speaker 8 (15:07):
So when he told you his name, what name did.
Speaker 14 (15:11):
He give you?
Speaker 2 (15:12):
Joel Kerr?
Speaker 8 (15:17):
Were you physically harmed in anyway? I know you said
it bruised. Were you harmed in any way during this encounter?
Speaker 13 (15:25):
I mean I was bruised, and that's about the extent
of it. The dammage I'll suffer is on me.
Speaker 8 (15:32):
Was there any aspect of this meeting that was non
consensual from your perspective?
Speaker 13 (15:39):
No, this isn't about digging into his life and trying
to harm him. It is simply about as an officer,
he should not be using his vehicle to have what
I imagine this problem not the first rendezvous. What makes
(16:03):
you say that that that you believe this wasn't.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
His first.
Speaker 13 (16:08):
Because he discussed enjoying having mate ups such as this.
Speaker 1 (16:15):
This woman had come to regret her actions and confessed
to her husband. She gave her husband access to her
computer and all her passwords. She was remorseful about the
encounter and took responsibility for her part in it. The
woman fully disclosed her actions to her husband and agreed
to accompany him to Joel's house. However, as you heard,
(16:38):
things didn't go as planned. They of course reported him.
The woman's story was credible, and when police searched Joel's
phone in computer, they found evidence supporting her story, and
then they identified another woman Joel had met up with.
He planned this one on his work phone, but it
seemed like he forgot to delete a few messages from
(17:01):
the exchange. This woman had also met Joel on fet life.
Although she was cooperative, she seemed less eager to discuss
the encounter. An internal affairs sergeant contacted her by phone.
Speaker 9 (17:16):
So you started talking, you think online in August twenty
twenty one. You spoke on the phone, he would call you,
and you spoke through WhatsApp. When's the first time you
said you met. When's the first time you actually met
in person.
Speaker 2 (17:28):
I believe that he was a conference in Denver and
we just met briefly when he was on his way back,
like the last day that he was going back to
the Springs.
Speaker 1 (17:37):
The woman and Joel had talked and texted for several weeks.
He had attended a work conference in Denver. After talking
online and on the phone, there was an opening to
meet up. On the way back from the conference, they
met in the parking lot of a sporting goods store.
But here was the information internal affairs was really after
(17:58):
had Joel used his police car to have sex with her?
And was it while he was on duty?
Speaker 9 (18:05):
Was there anything in that vehicle that made you think
that it was probably not his personal vehicle?
Speaker 15 (18:10):
The radio police for radio of Canner.
Speaker 4 (18:13):
Or whatever you call him.
Speaker 9 (18:15):
You got into a silver ESUV you don't remember the
maker model, but you believe it was a police vehicle
because it has a radio in it. Maybe there for
twenty to thirty minutes, and you engaged in vaginal sex
in the backseat of that vehicle. Yeah, And other than that,
there was no other meetings. You've still talked as friends,
(18:37):
but no sex. No, no, And let me ask this.
I was reading through some text messages between you and Joel,
and one of them says like something about there's been
some drama and I've deleted everything not to worry about it.
Do you remember that text thread?
Speaker 2 (18:56):
Yeah?
Speaker 9 (18:58):
What was that about?
Speaker 1 (19:00):
I mean, he told me that.
Speaker 15 (19:04):
There was something going on.
Speaker 2 (19:06):
I didn't really go into detail, but I guess I
wasn't surprise when I got your message yesterday.
Speaker 1 (19:37):
Despite Joel's adamant denials, it appeared he had in fact
had sex in his police vehicle during work hours. CSPD
conducted a full investigation. Internal affairs even ordered a forensic
analysis of the car's interior. They determined that the complaint
was true. Joel had been having sex with women in
(19:58):
his police car in public on company time. On April eleventh,
Joel was summoned to a meeting with his commander, and
you'll hear that meeting in a later episode. And it
was on that day that he could no longer hide
the investigation from Caroline and their kids. In the early
(20:20):
evening on April eleventh, twenty twenty two, Joel was home
with his family. Caroline and Nicole sat huddled together on
the living room sofa. There were tears, accusations, and grief.
Their son was on speakerphone from college, alternating between anguish
and disgust. As he sat in our home.
Speaker 4 (20:40):
He swore up and down to the kids. It was
only two times. It was only these two people.
Speaker 9 (20:44):
That's it.
Speaker 4 (20:45):
It was only these two people.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
He was only admitting to what the CSPD had already uncovered. Meanwhile,
he told his family a tearful story about what happened.
Speaker 4 (20:56):
He said, I started going down a rabbit hole online
when I worked at night, and I would see these
different websites, and out of curiosity, I started corresponding with
different people on different websites, and that's how I met
these two people. It was only these two times. It
was only these two times.
Speaker 5 (21:14):
I was just astonished that he could do this to
our family.
Speaker 6 (21:20):
Well I could keep saying, was how could you do
this to my mom and my sister? How could you
do this?
Speaker 4 (21:28):
You know, it's one thing to try to digest that
when you have just been but traded by your spouse,
But see here and watch your kids. It's just a
completely different level.
Speaker 1 (21:44):
Joel insisted that he only had been unfaithful with two people,
but Caroline wasn't naive. She knew there had to be more.
Speaker 16 (21:53):
You know, I had enough sense to say, if I
secure a divorce attorney and they were to do an
open records Request Act, what else would they find in
your file, and he looked terrified.
Speaker 1 (22:08):
With Caroline's words still hanging in the air, Joel dropped
another bombshell. Back in episode one. We learned he'd been
tapped for one of the departments and most sought after roles,
the public information officer. He'd be the face of the department,
the media liaison, the voice. He'd already done the job temporarily,
(22:30):
then out of nowhere, the offer vanished.
Speaker 4 (22:35):
He said, I had a falling out with the chief.
And I said, you had a falling out with the
chief of police, and he said, I had a falling
out with him, and he's taken away my opportunity to
be the public information officer.
Speaker 1 (22:49):
But that had been a lie. There hadn't been an
issue with the chief. The issue had been with Joel.
Speaker 4 (22:56):
He did not get the public information officer position because
of sexual harassment.
Speaker 1 (23:03):
While Joel served as temporary public Information officer in twenty sixteen,
he asked female reporters to use an encrypted app to
communicate with him, and what he said there unnerved the reporters.
When one reporter heard Joel Kern was going to be
appointed the permanent Public Information officer in twenty nineteen, She
was alarmed and wrote a letter here's how it began,
(23:28):
to the Colorado Springs Police Department. I'm writing to voice
my concerns about naming Lieutenant Jul Kern the next PIO.
To accuse anyone of inappropriate behavior is a risk, But
to accuse an officer, especially one that controls which media
members get information and how fast, could be career suicide.
(23:49):
But that is what most emboldened me to voice my concerns. Now,
this letter led to Joel Kern's first internal affairs investigation
for sexually harassing female news reporters. The CSPB started by
interviewing the reporter that wrote the letter.
Speaker 11 (24:08):
This is Commander tisshow Shewski with Calar Springs Police Department
Internal Affairs Section. Today's February seventh, twenty nineteen.
Speaker 1 (24:16):
Internal Affairs asked the reporter about the app J'll ask
her to download.
Speaker 14 (24:21):
He encouraged me to get the WhatsApp so that we
could communicate in a way that his phone would be
more secure from the police department, as in, if he
was giving me tips of some sort, so that it
would be encrypted and it would be on his personal
phone and it could be taken that kind of stuff.
(24:42):
You never explicitly said, do you want to do anything
with me? Or like he never explicitly asked me out,
or you know, things like that. Nature it's all very sneaky,
and about interpretation, they.
Speaker 17 (24:58):
Mean my sneaky.
Speaker 14 (25:01):
Sneaky as in he would use words that would be
suggestive or language that would be suggestive, and it felt
to me like a test to see how I took it.
He brought up sexual relations with his wife, and again
I don't remember exactly what was said, but I remember
(25:21):
that he was on vacation or at his son's base,
or not baseball, but some kind of sporting event away,
and he mentioned like something along the lines of, you know,
maybe I'll get lucky, or when you have kids, the
only time you have sex is when you're away, or
something like that. That obviously was inappropriate and kind of
(25:47):
opened the door if I wanted to talk about sexual relations.
Speaker 11 (25:51):
You had wrote that this became obvious that the friendlier
I was, the more beneficial it could be. So tell
me about this.
Speaker 2 (26:00):
Do you mean by friendlier if.
Speaker 14 (26:02):
I would have accepted his advances or been sexual in return,
or you know, when I explained, I felt like he
was opened the door to talk about my sexual life.
If I would have done that kind of stuff, like
just given that green light that I'm okay with this behavior.
Speaker 2 (26:20):
Okay, So what was the benefit?
Speaker 14 (26:23):
The benefit was the whole point in telling us, telling
me to get what zapp was. You know, this was
a way for him to give us tips. So the
benefit was if we're friendly, if we had this good relationship,
then he would give us good scoops and tips about
things going on in the police department.
Speaker 1 (26:43):
The reporter knew of other women who felt the same way,
but they either decided it was too risky to complain
or felt it didn't rise to the level of needing
to report. So without any other complaints, the investigation was
relatively thin and it looked like Joel was going to
talk his way out of this one. We actually received
(27:03):
the recording of Joel doing exactly that.
Speaker 11 (27:09):
This is Commander of Ta Sholshski with Closhman's Police Department
Professional Standards Division. Today is February eleventh, twenty nineteen. I
am interviewing Lieutenant Joel Kern in regards to internal Affairs
case nineteen zero three zero.
Speaker 1 (27:27):
Oszewski asked Joel to explain why he had urged reporters
to download WhatsApp, an encrypted app that his supervisors couldn't monitor.
This was a violation of department rules and Joel knew it.
Speaker 2 (27:39):
At the time.
Speaker 18 (27:40):
There was like this big thing in the media about
you know, stories being lead and released, and then there's
different apps that people communicate to reporters about to be
like a safe method of communication with the reporters or whatever,
safe meaning like secure.
Speaker 1 (27:54):
At first, Joel said it was for security, but the
IA officer wasn't by I'm not.
Speaker 11 (28:01):
I guess I don't understand if you're worried about stories leaking.
Why was it only these two women?
Speaker 18 (28:07):
Well, I mean, I see where you're going with that.
And again it's because I was communicating with them the most,
like one.
Speaker 2 (28:18):
That was always asking the questions the most. I don't
think it was anything that would be like a targeting
thing or anything like that.
Speaker 11 (28:25):
Were you trying to just target? When you say target,
I mean I think get more friendlier with those two,
maybe hoping it might go somewhere.
Speaker 18 (28:34):
I think if I was honest with myself, then I
would say, yeah, that would be an a curious statement.
Speaker 14 (28:39):
Are they young?
Speaker 2 (28:40):
Are they old or middle aged. I guess like twenties, arly, thirties.
Speaker 11 (28:47):
Okay, middle aged Joel, it's like fifty okay.
Speaker 2 (28:53):
Are they attractive? Are they not?
Speaker 4 (28:55):
Okay?
Speaker 11 (28:58):
So you were that you were singling those two out
for the WhatsApp of it.
Speaker 18 (29:05):
That sounds bad, But yeah, I think that, if I'm
honest with myself, that would be a fair statement. You know,
they're very smart and like I say, waity, and there's
fun to talk to. And then so I think then
that's where the flirtation came in, and then the sexual innuindo.
(29:26):
It wouldn't be something that I'd want my wife or
kids reading obviously.
Speaker 11 (29:31):
So Joe, when you're talking about the flirtation, was that
on your part?
Speaker 2 (29:36):
Well, whose part was that on?
Speaker 18 (29:38):
I think it was. I think it's like mutual flirtation.
And then.
Speaker 2 (29:47):
Things weren't good at.
Speaker 4 (29:50):
Right.
Speaker 1 (29:50):
As the conversation gets to the heart of the issue,
his abuse of power, Joel pivots he wells up with
tears and changes the subject too what he's been going
through recently.
Speaker 11 (30:03):
Why did you have these conversations with them, the sexual
innuendo conversation.
Speaker 18 (30:10):
That was in a bad place with my marriage at
the time and emotionally, and then I think I got
maybe just like sucked into a trap or reading things
into things that were being said that we're not really there.
Speaker 1 (30:30):
Caroline had no idea her marriage was in a bad
place in twenty nineteen. If you remember from episode one,
Caroline shared Joel had a few breakdowns and ultimately started therapy.
He had mentioned witnessing the carnage from fatal accident scenes
and his fear about their kids starting to drive, but
she'd been there for him and they worked through it
(30:52):
as a couple. As the interview continued, Joel read the room,
he realized his best strategy would be to fall on
the sword.
Speaker 2 (31:02):
I'm embarrassed, I'm humiliated, I'm ashamed. I know what I did.
I was wrong. I'm very sorry for it, and.
Speaker 15 (31:12):
I've taken proactive steps to help myself get better again.
I take four responsibility for my actions, and I asked
for mercy.
Speaker 1 (31:28):
Joel had been on the record pleading for mercy three
years before his official suspension, which was on April eleventh,
twenty twenty two, and on April eleventh, the truth was
finally being laid bare. In their living room, Caroline and
their daughter were on the couch and their son was
on speakerphone. They listened to Joel confess that he'd been
(31:48):
lying and covering his tracks for years.
Speaker 4 (31:52):
And then he went on a tirade of continuing to
blame me and said that he didn't think we had
sex enough, and then he started making crass comments about
his sexual needs. Our daughter was just wailing and crying,
and our son hung up. He never removed his wedding ring.
(32:13):
He always kept an one.
Speaker 1 (32:15):
But then he.
Speaker 4 (32:17):
Struggled for a long time, but finally gets his ring off.
Inside of it I had engraved forever and ever, sets
it down on the fireplace, walks over and fills up
his yetti cup, and just walked out the door.
Speaker 1 (32:56):
Caroline's entire world had come apart in a single afternoon. Immediately,
she reached out to a close friend who would soon
take on a greater role in her life.
Speaker 17 (33:07):
My name is Don and I'm a family law attorney.
Speaker 1 (33:12):
Don was a good friend to both Caroline and Joel.
Speaker 17 (33:15):
I was shocked, absolutely shocked when I heard the news.
For me to not even have an inkling of his
other side, I guess bothered me because I usually have
a pretty good gut feeling about people.
Speaker 1 (33:28):
Don normally made it policy not to represent her friends
in a divorce, but she made an exception this time,
not so much for Caroline, but for the kids.
Speaker 17 (33:39):
The children are very proud of their parents' accomplishments. They
really appreciated and respected what they did. That was part
of their identity is that their parents were so great.
So when this all happened, my inkling for the children
(33:59):
was everything that they know, everything that they thought was
good and pure or whatever real is not.
Speaker 1 (34:10):
The kids had to find a way to keep going.
Their son wanted to come home from college, but Caroline
wouldn't allow it, and their daughter.
Speaker 5 (34:19):
Everything happened on a Monday, and that Wednesday, I took
my SATs. I had a plan, like I still needed
to go to college. So, you know, she kind of ingraining.
I guess, the sort of motivation where you need to
do something, you just get it done.
Speaker 1 (34:38):
As for Caroline, she was on autopilot. Her friends came
to her with some unsettling but important advice.
Speaker 4 (34:47):
You know, they let me know, you really should set
doctor's appointment to make sure that I don't have anything
and have a full STI STD screen and so I
called this facility, humili asked if I could schedule an
appointment specifically for this. They said yes, And when I
walked in, I tried to keep myself together. And then
(35:10):
I sat in the exam room and this nurse practitioner
who I had seen dozens of times for my kids'
sports physicals, she walked in the room and I just
immediately lost it. I'm in this exam room, I'm crying.
I'm telling her these very personal details of what's just
(35:33):
been revealed. And so she does a full exam and
she leaves the room, and when she came back in,
she just had this horrible, fearful look on her face.
And I just was sobbing, and I said, you can
tell I have something, can't you. You can already tell I
(35:55):
have something, And she shook her head and she said no.
She was debating on telling me that Joel had essentially
been blacklisted from seeing her because he had come in
four different appointments before and had been and appropriate with
(36:16):
his commentary and very sexualized with his commentary toward her.
And I was mortified. And she said, given what I
was going through, if she was in my shoes, she'd
want to know.
Speaker 1 (36:30):
Caroline had asdrol repeatedly, what else, what else have you done?
She didn't want any more surprises. There had to be
more than just two affairs, and this experience was confirmation
that her instincts were dead on.
Speaker 4 (36:47):
I was just humiliated hearing from another female that my
husband had approached them in a manner that made them
feel so uncomfortable that they could not even professionally see.
It was humiliating, absolutely humiliating. I got to the parking
lot and I called him and he answered, and I
(37:10):
said to him, this is what was just told to me.
And he was very calm, and he said, I'm sorry.
And I said, you knew this and he said yes,
they let me know, and I knew how I behaved,
and I'm embarrassed. And he was just so matter of
(37:30):
fact about it. And I was infuriated, absolutely infuriated. And
I saw his location and I drove to the campsite
where he was at at the RV park.
Speaker 1 (37:44):
Joel was staying in their family RV at a campground.
Speaker 4 (37:47):
And I just started banging on the door and he
opened the door and I told him, do not lie
to me, do not lie to me. I want to
know what you have done. You are someone who I
don't even know, and I want to know the secret
life that you have lived behind our backs.
Speaker 1 (38:10):
Nicole was at school when she noticed Caroline's location on
their Family Life three sixty app.
Speaker 19 (38:17):
I don't really want to have my mom alone with
my dad because I was really scared of my dad
because I thought like he did all this stuff without
us knowing.
Speaker 4 (38:30):
I don't know what he's capable of. Next thing you know,
there's banging at the door of our RV. She just
got up and left her classroom at the high school
and drove to where we were at, And as we
were sitting there, she walked calmly over to a laptop
(38:50):
he had taken from our home.
Speaker 1 (38:52):
Nicole grabbed Joel's computer and started looking through it, logging
onto various websites, and reading his emails and text messages.
They were there for the truth. All those long nights
on duty. What else had Joel been up to? How
far did his misconduct go?
Speaker 4 (39:10):
Suddenly, through our daughter's forensic reveal of his computer, the
number of people he had sex with just started growing dramatically.
Speaker 1 (39:23):
Nicole dialed in her older brother. She wanted him to
hear everything, so it became the next family meeting, and
then Nicole started recording on her phone. She wanted documentation.
She and her mom were running on adrenaline.
Speaker 14 (39:40):
Cat'en mouse, Cat and mouse, Cat and mouse. You just
have to keep being caught.
Speaker 1 (39:44):
Why can't you just spell it all out?
Speaker 2 (39:46):
Because I can't remember everything because you.
Speaker 1 (39:48):
Had so many people.
Speaker 12 (39:51):
How many people didn't talk to fifteen one hundred? What's
the range?
Speaker 2 (39:58):
Fifty sounds good?
Speaker 4 (40:01):
How many times did you actually physically meet someone?
Speaker 2 (40:07):
This is why I'm telling you, like around the seven.
Speaker 12 (40:11):
And then another thought I had today, I cannot drive
around the city without questioning. I wonder if my dad
received oral sex and was working lot. Remember that day
we went to Memorial Park. We looked at the.
Speaker 4 (40:30):
Police memorial and all that you wanted us to see
the police memorial.
Speaker 12 (40:34):
We ran races over by Memorial Park.
Speaker 1 (40:38):
Memorial Park was where Joel met the first woman to
have sex in his cop car. At first, he denied
he was working when they met up. But then I
know where it told.
Speaker 20 (40:49):
You after work earlier, but I'm pretty sure it was
like mid morning or lunchtime or whatever. And then went
back to work and then worked out and took a
shower and all that.
Speaker 4 (41:07):
So you left work, went and had sex with someone
on the city's dime.
Speaker 1 (41:15):
Everyone thought Joel was one of the good ones, an
honorable cop. They had sacrificed so much for his career.
She didn't recognize this man. In fact, she didn't recognize
her life at all. Her life was now split into two,
two realities running parallel tracks. There were her memories, and
(41:40):
then there was everything Joel was doing behind her back.
All of those late nights, the miss sports games, the holidays.
Where was he Her brain never went there. She didn't
know what was real anymore. It was a sad and
terrifying feeling.
Speaker 4 (42:00):
The kids and I thought we were living this life
of love and a family. I'm purity more things perfect,
of course not do we argue about taking trash out
and who was going to kick up from dinner yup?
(42:21):
But never did I think that anything like this was
going on behind our backs.
Speaker 1 (42:25):
Ever, So was this finally the full picture? We're all
of Joel's secrets out in the open. No, not even close.
Here's Caroline and Joel's son.
Speaker 6 (42:44):
I'm not naive to the fact that all of us
are human, and everybody makes mistakes and everybody has their shortcomings,
and everybody has flaws and demons that they with, But
to me, there's a clear line here between being a
(43:07):
fallible person and monstrosity.
Speaker 1 (43:15):
On the next episode of Betrayal, Caroline comes to the
realization that Joel has been gaslighting her for years.
Speaker 4 (43:23):
So I'm literally watching the phone where I can see
him speeding to our house. He's not at another accident,
he's not at the hospital. He's coming from somewhere. And
so when he got home, I said, are you lying
to me?
Speaker 1 (43:40):
And more revelations about his double life are exposed. Thank
you for listening to Betrayal season four. If you would
like to reach out to the Betrayal team, email us
at Betrayal Pod at gmail dot com. That's Betrayal Pod
at gmail dot com. Also, please be sure to follow
(44:01):
us on Instagram at Betrayal Pod and me Andrea H.
Gunning for all Betrayal content, news and updates. One way
to support the series is by subscribing to our show
on Apple Podcasts. Please rate and review Betrayal. Five star
reviews help us know you appreciate what we do. Betrayal
is a production of Glass Podcasts, a division of Glass
(44:22):
Entertainment Group in partnership with iHeart Podcasts. The show is
executive produced by Nancy Glass and Jennifer Fason. Betrayal is
hosted and produced by me Andrea Gunning, written and produced
by Carrie Hartman, also produced by Ben Fetterman. Our associate
producers are Caitlin Golden and Kristin Melcurie. Our iHeart team
(44:43):
is Ali Perry and Jessica Crincheck. Story editing by Monique Leboard,
audio editing and mixing by Matt Delvecchio, editing by Tanner Robbins,
and special thanks to Caroline and her family. Betrayal's theme
is composed by Oliver Bains. Music library provided by my
Music and For more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app,
(45:04):
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts,
Hey guys. Before we dive into the episode, we have
exciting news. Betrayal is coming to substack, which is an
online community. We're calling our substack Beyond Betrayal, a place
where we dive deeper into the stories you hear on
this show. Please consider joining our community to gain access
to exclusive content, engage with me and subjects, as well
(00:23):
as connect with others who have experienced betrayal. Just head
to Betrayal dot substack that's sub s T A c K.
Or just go to substack dot com, search beyond Betrayal
and hit subscribe.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
I'm embarrassed, I'm familiated, I'm ashamed. I know what I did.
I was wrong. I'm very sorry for it.
Speaker 3 (00:50):
Again, I take four responsibility for my actions and os
for mercy.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
I'm Andrea Gunning and this is Betrayal, Season four, Episode two,
Cat and Mouse. In the last episode, we met Caroline
Brega and learned about her husband, former Colorado Springs Police
Lieutenant Joel Kern. On the outside, they were the perfect
American family. Then on April eleventh, twenty twenty two, Joel
(01:31):
detonated a bomb on his life, a bomb that would
destroy his family. It started with the text he sent
to his wife that read.
Speaker 4 (01:41):
I was caught receiving oral sex from two women in
my cop car I lied about it during an internal
affairs investigation. I am now pending termination.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
April eleventh is now called D Day by Caroline and
her kids. Here's Caroline and Joel's daughter Nicole.
Speaker 5 (02:02):
That evening, I had a lacrosse game, and so I
started kind of getting ready for my lacrosse game.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
It started as a normal day, but it soon would
become an inflection point.
Speaker 5 (02:15):
My mom called me to follow her into the bathroom
and I don't even remember what she was doing, maybe
taking down her hair from her updal. She just was
acting off, and so I said what's wrong? And she
didn't respond.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
She was scared something was wrong. Did something happen?
Speaker 5 (02:43):
And then I said, is daddy okay?
Speaker 1 (02:47):
Caroline was at a loss for words. They all lived
with the fear that one day Joel wouldn't come home
from work. But Joel wasn't injured or killed in the
line of duty. Still nothing was okay. Caroline and Joel's
son was a freshman in college far from home.
Speaker 6 (03:08):
I get a call from my sister and so I
send it to voicemail. I get another call, and then
I had the text to reply, and I say, I'm
about to walk into a chemistry medterm. Can I call
you after? And she texted back no, it's an emergency.
So I pick up the phone and I call her,
and I remember my mom and my sister shaken up
(03:34):
in tears.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
The family met in the living room. Nicole and Caroline
sat on the couch. Caroline and Joel's son was on
speaker phone, and Joel stood in front of the fireplace.
It was the most bizarre family meeting you could imagine.
It felt like someone else's life, but no, it was
happening in their home.
Speaker 4 (03:57):
Our daughter's sitting right next to me, our son's on
the phone, and the three of us are just in hysterics.
You can hear our son hysterically crying, our daughter's hysterically crying.
And I said, you need to tell the kids what's
going on.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
What was going on? Well, to understand the events of
April eleven, twenty twenty two, we need to go back
a few months prior to February fifth. That day, a
stranger showed up on Caroline and Joel's doorstep. Joel was
(04:33):
home and answered the door. The whole interaction happened to
be recorded. The sound isn't great, but you'll get the
gist of it. And we've distorted the stranger's voice to
protect his privacy.
Speaker 7 (04:45):
He ane dogs, man O, chance was it?
Speaker 8 (04:52):
You know who I am?
Speaker 9 (04:53):
Here's my wife out the one that you're thought in
your cruiser?
Speaker 2 (04:57):
What are you talking about?
Speaker 4 (04:59):
I'm not here to.
Speaker 10 (04:59):
Arrest, but I'm saying, Joel, yeah, I'm talking about you
say my wife.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
Okay, my wife is there, Dave. I wouldn't want to
know if you know her. I have no idea what
you're talking about.
Speaker 10 (05:12):
And if that's the case, then I owe you an apology.
I'm not, like I said, I'm not here. If I
was wrong, want me leave.
Speaker 11 (05:16):
The Why are you here?
Speaker 2 (05:18):
So if you don't know my pro property, like I said,
I'm not hearing her, ask you, I will.
Speaker 10 (05:23):
That's not what I'm trying to do. I just wanted
to know you know my wife.
Speaker 2 (05:26):
No, I don't.
Speaker 10 (05:28):
I know you're a pop and all that stuff. Man,
I know that, but that's not cool. That that's not cool.
I just want you to stay away from my wife.
You can't even look me in the face and tell
me you made a mistake.
Speaker 12 (05:38):
Me.
Speaker 9 (05:39):
I don't even know who.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
She is, so leave.
Speaker 10 (05:43):
I thought you hadn't be able to look at me,
Manda Man and say, yeah, I did fuck your wife.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
I'm sorry for ruining your marriage.
Speaker 9 (05:47):
No, I'm not.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
You need to check your wife up because I'm not
doing anything.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
And with that, the couple took off and Joel was
left alone to contemplate what just happened. This man managed
to find his house and came right to his front door.
Caroline had been out on a run and missed the
whole confrontation by minutes, but Joel wasn't home alone. Nicole
was in the basement just doing her homework.
Speaker 5 (06:14):
Usually I would have went up and just saw who
was at the door with him, but for whatever reason,
I just continued to do my homework, and so later
on I asked him, you know who was at the door,
and then he just said like some solicitor.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
Joel carried on as if nothing happened. In fact, later
that night, Joel and Caroline went to a party. He
also never mentioned the confrontation to his family.
Speaker 4 (06:51):
It was a Yellowstone theme party and I'm throwing on
a blond wig pretending to be Beth and got him
a beard to be ripped. We left and we were
going to a friend's house who we had been to
their home hundreds of times. And he pulled up to
the wrong house and I said, what are you doing?
And so he was like, what do you mean? And
(07:12):
I said, you pulled up to the wrong house. He said, oh,
I didn't know that, And so, you know, we back out,
go to the right house. Okay.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
Caroline laughed it off in the moment. Looking back now,
she sees that Joel's mind was somewhere else that night.
But there was bad news for Joel. The stranger who
came to his door made another stop that day. After
he pulled out of Joel's driveway, he and his wife
drove straight to the Colorado Springs Police Department or CSPD,
(07:47):
and filed an official complaint against Joel. After all, an
officer having sex in his police car while on duty
would be a major professional violation. We filed an records
request so we could get those investigation records. Over the
past year, we received hundreds of pages from CSPD, all
(08:08):
relating to Joel Kern. We were also given actual audio
recordings from the investigation. What you're about to hear is
from one of those recordings. It's Joel's boss, Commander Strassner,
being interviewed by Internal Affairs about Joel's alleged misconduct.
Speaker 9 (08:28):
How did you.
Speaker 2 (08:28):
Become aware of this investigation? Can you kind of walk
me through?
Speaker 7 (08:31):
That's about February seventh. I got a call just advising
me that there was an internal a complaint that was
filed over the weekend regarding Lieutenant Kern possibly having sex
in the back of his vehicle.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
Strassner was one of the first people Joel went to.
When you heard about the complaint.
Speaker 7 (08:52):
He adamantly denies anything happened. He goes, I don't even
know these people. I don't know what they're talking about.
I haven't seen him before. There's no way I would
do that in a police car. He goes, made the
statement of I didn't have sex in the back of
my car when I was in high school or college.
I'm sure's the heck not going to do that now
kind of thing. Very visibly upset, almost in tears, and
(09:16):
just really angry about how somebody could file a false
complaint and turn his entire world upside down. In his
family upside down. So he was really upset and really
pissed off.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
But was his rage really directed at the couple from
making the complaint or was it directed at the Internal
affairs department for taking the complaint Seriously? Joel was an experienced,
respected police lieutenant. This investigation threatened to take all that away.
Speaker 7 (09:46):
He goes, I just don't understand why this couldn't have
been a preliminary inquiry. I tell you no, and this
thing be closed.
Speaker 1 (09:53):
A preliminary inquiry is like an initial check to see
if there's any valid reason to suspect that the officer
he has done something wrong. Internal affairs can then decide
to move forward with the investigation or close the matter.
Speaker 7 (10:06):
I said, look, Joel, you know why it couldn't have
been a preliminary inquiry. They got to go through the process.
Speaker 1 (10:13):
Let's be clear. What the complaint was alleging was no
ordinary affair. They were claiming police misconduct, an officer abusing
his badge, having sex in a taxpayer funded vehicle on
the public's time and in public. Remember, Joel had worked
in internal affairs years earlier. He understood how it operated. Ironically,
(10:38):
he had worked in the department with Commander Strassner.
Speaker 7 (10:42):
Sudden they have to do a thorough job, and he's like, yeah,
I get it, but he was very angry.
Speaker 1 (10:48):
But Strassner also gave Joel some reassurance.
Speaker 7 (10:53):
I said, look, I have no reason not to believe
anything that you're telling because if you didn't do that,
as you're saying either one or two things, they're completely
lining and they need to be charged with false reporting
or somebody's impersonating you. We need to get to the
end of that. And so we got to do this thoroughly,
and I'm going to make sure I stay in contact
(11:13):
with internal affairs to make sure it's a complete and
thorough investigation.
Speaker 1 (11:18):
Strassner could tell that Joel was distraught. This was a
serious matter. Someone could be filing a false report or
impersonating him. Strawsner assured Joel that if someone was victimizing him,
they would be held accountable. To complete the investigation, the
CSPD took Joel's police vehicle and his department issued phone.
Speaker 7 (11:42):
If it was me and his shoes and as he's saying,
all of it is fabricated, I would be incredibly upset
and angry. And to me it seemed very genuine and authentic.
I got no reason to doubt what he scene.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
This was recorded in February twenty twenty two. The investigation
into Joel had been going on for two months, two
months where he knew his life was on the brink
of collapse. Meanwhile, Caroline was completely in the dark. Joel
didn't tell her about the man on their doorstep or
the misconduct investigation. It seemed like Joel thought that with
(12:25):
his rank in years of service, he would be able
to talk his way out of this, but the CESPD
was taking it seriously. They went ahead and looked for
any evidence that would support the couple's claim, and that
included interviewing the man and his wife. Yes, the couple
who showed up at Joel's door agreed to cooperate, so
(12:47):
Internal Affairs sat with the woman Joel adamantly denied ever
seeing before. Here are some of that interview.
Speaker 8 (12:56):
Okay, this is a center field chance I with the
Colorado Springs Police Department Ternal Affairs Section Today's February seventeen,
twenty twenty two, also president as a general Affairs, Sergeant
Drew Jealous.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
Lieutenant Chanza asked the woman about how she met Joel.
She explained it was on a fetish and king social
network called betlife dot com. And as a note, we've
altered the voices of all the civilians interviewed by CSPD
to protect their privacy.
Speaker 8 (13:24):
What was it that initially drew your attention to the
person we're talking about today?
Speaker 13 (13:28):
He contacted me, just like Facebook has messenger, that there's
a messenger within it.
Speaker 1 (13:37):
Joel had suggested that they meet at a public park.
Speaker 13 (13:41):
I drove in my vehicle to go meet him. When
I got to the location, which was Memorial Park, he
was in what looked like an unmarked police car. I
imagine the first question would be, how would I know that.
I've got a number of officers in my family who
(14:03):
I've seen their unmarked vehicles. I do know what they
look like. He could see.
Speaker 2 (14:08):
I was nervous.
Speaker 13 (14:09):
I was shaken, and at that point it probably should
have stopped.
Speaker 8 (14:16):
Did the two if you have anything in common, any
fetishes as you describe them, that that kind of made
you kind of continue the conversation.
Speaker 13 (14:26):
Yes, he was into domination and I was into submission.
He told me that he would enjoy spanking me and
fisting me and choking me and pulling my hair?
Speaker 8 (14:46):
So what leads you to believe that this person was
a police officer?
Speaker 13 (14:48):
Meeting stated he was?
Speaker 8 (14:51):
Can you tell us a little more about that.
Speaker 13 (14:53):
He eventually told me his name, and you know, eventually
told me that he was a police officer with Springs
Police told me he did traffic investigations.
Speaker 8 (15:07):
So when he told you his name, what name did.
Speaker 14 (15:11):
He give you?
Speaker 2 (15:12):
Joel Kerr?
Speaker 8 (15:17):
Were you physically harmed in anyway? I know you said
it bruised. Were you harmed in any way during this encounter?
Speaker 13 (15:25):
I mean I was bruised, and that's about the extent
of it. The dammage I'll suffer is on me.
Speaker 8 (15:32):
Was there any aspect of this meeting that was non
consensual from your perspective?
Speaker 13 (15:39):
No, this isn't about digging into his life and trying
to harm him. It is simply about as an officer,
he should not be using his vehicle to have what
I imagine this problem not the first rendezvous. What makes
(16:03):
you say that that that you believe this wasn't.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
His first.
Speaker 13 (16:08):
Because he discussed enjoying having mate ups such as this.
Speaker 1 (16:15):
This woman had come to regret her actions and confessed
to her husband. She gave her husband access to her
computer and all her passwords. She was remorseful about the
encounter and took responsibility for her part in it. The
woman fully disclosed her actions to her husband and agreed
to accompany him to Joel's house. However, as you heard,
(16:38):
things didn't go as planned. They of course reported him.
The woman's story was credible, and when police searched Joel's
phone in computer, they found evidence supporting her story, and
then they identified another woman Joel had met up with.
He planned this one on his work phone, but it
seemed like he forgot to delete a few messages from
(17:01):
the exchange. This woman had also met Joel on fet life.
Although she was cooperative, she seemed less eager to discuss
the encounter. An internal affairs sergeant contacted her by phone.
Speaker 9 (17:16):
So you started talking, you think online in August twenty
twenty one. You spoke on the phone, he would call you,
and you spoke through WhatsApp. When's the first time you
said you met. When's the first time you actually met
in person.
Speaker 2 (17:28):
I believe that he was a conference in Denver and
we just met briefly when he was on his way back,
like the last day that he was going back to
the Springs.
Speaker 1 (17:37):
The woman and Joel had talked and texted for several weeks.
He had attended a work conference in Denver. After talking
online and on the phone, there was an opening to
meet up. On the way back from the conference, they
met in the parking lot of a sporting goods store.
But here was the information internal affairs was really after
(17:58):
had Joel used his police car to have sex with her?
And was it while he was on duty?
Speaker 9 (18:05):
Was there anything in that vehicle that made you think
that it was probably not his personal vehicle?
Speaker 15 (18:10):
The radio police for radio of Canner.
Speaker 4 (18:13):
Or whatever you call him.
Speaker 9 (18:15):
You got into a silver ESUV you don't remember the
maker model, but you believe it was a police vehicle
because it has a radio in it. Maybe there for
twenty to thirty minutes, and you engaged in vaginal sex
in the backseat of that vehicle. Yeah, And other than that,
there was no other meetings. You've still talked as friends,
(18:37):
but no sex. No, no, And let me ask this.
I was reading through some text messages between you and Joel,
and one of them says like something about there's been
some drama and I've deleted everything not to worry about it.
Do you remember that text thread?
Speaker 2 (18:56):
Yeah?
Speaker 9 (18:58):
What was that about?
Speaker 1 (19:00):
I mean, he told me that.
Speaker 15 (19:04):
There was something going on.
Speaker 2 (19:06):
I didn't really go into detail, but I guess I
wasn't surprise when I got your message yesterday.
Speaker 1 (19:37):
Despite Joel's adamant denials, it appeared he had in fact
had sex in his police vehicle during work hours. CSPD
conducted a full investigation. Internal affairs even ordered a forensic
analysis of the car's interior. They determined that the complaint
was true. Joel had been having sex with women in
(19:58):
his police car in public on company time. On April eleventh,
Joel was summoned to a meeting with his commander, and
you'll hear that meeting in a later episode. And it
was on that day that he could no longer hide
the investigation from Caroline and their kids. In the early
(20:20):
evening on April eleventh, twenty twenty two, Joel was home
with his family. Caroline and Nicole sat huddled together on
the living room sofa. There were tears, accusations, and grief.
Their son was on speakerphone from college, alternating between anguish
and disgust. As he sat in our home.
Speaker 4 (20:40):
He swore up and down to the kids. It was
only two times. It was only these two people.
Speaker 9 (20:44):
That's it.
Speaker 4 (20:45):
It was only these two people.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
He was only admitting to what the CSPD had already uncovered. Meanwhile,
he told his family a tearful story about what happened.
Speaker 4 (20:56):
He said, I started going down a rabbit hole online
when I worked at night, and I would see these
different websites, and out of curiosity, I started corresponding with
different people on different websites, and that's how I met
these two people. It was only these two times. It
was only these two times.
Speaker 5 (21:14):
I was just astonished that he could do this to
our family.
Speaker 6 (21:20):
Well I could keep saying, was how could you do
this to my mom and my sister? How could you
do this?
Speaker 4 (21:28):
You know, it's one thing to try to digest that
when you have just been but traded by your spouse,
But see here and watch your kids. It's just a
completely different level.
Speaker 1 (21:44):
Joel insisted that he only had been unfaithful with two people,
but Caroline wasn't naive. She knew there had to be more.
Speaker 16 (21:53):
You know, I had enough sense to say, if I
secure a divorce attorney and they were to do an
open records Request Act, what else would they find in
your file, and he looked terrified.
Speaker 1 (22:08):
With Caroline's words still hanging in the air, Joel dropped
another bombshell. Back in episode one. We learned he'd been
tapped for one of the departments and most sought after roles,
the public information officer. He'd be the face of the department,
the media liaison, the voice. He'd already done the job temporarily,
(22:30):
then out of nowhere, the offer vanished.
Speaker 4 (22:35):
He said, I had a falling out with the chief.
And I said, you had a falling out with the
chief of police, and he said, I had a falling
out with him, and he's taken away my opportunity to
be the public information officer.
Speaker 1 (22:49):
But that had been a lie. There hadn't been an
issue with the chief. The issue had been with Joel.
Speaker 4 (22:56):
He did not get the public information officer position because
of sexual harassment.
Speaker 1 (23:03):
While Joel served as temporary public Information officer in twenty sixteen,
he asked female reporters to use an encrypted app to
communicate with him, and what he said there unnerved the reporters.
When one reporter heard Joel Kern was going to be
appointed the permanent Public Information officer in twenty nineteen, She
was alarmed and wrote a letter here's how it began,
(23:28):
to the Colorado Springs Police Department. I'm writing to voice
my concerns about naming Lieutenant Jul Kern the next PIO.
To accuse anyone of inappropriate behavior is a risk, But
to accuse an officer, especially one that controls which media
members get information and how fast, could be career suicide.
(23:49):
But that is what most emboldened me to voice my concerns. Now,
this letter led to Joel Kern's first internal affairs investigation
for sexually harassing female news reporters. The CSPB started by
interviewing the reporter that wrote the letter.
Speaker 11 (24:08):
This is Commander tisshow Shewski with Calar Springs Police Department
Internal Affairs Section. Today's February seventh, twenty nineteen.
Speaker 1 (24:16):
Internal Affairs asked the reporter about the app J'll ask
her to download.
Speaker 14 (24:21):
He encouraged me to get the WhatsApp so that we
could communicate in a way that his phone would be
more secure from the police department, as in, if he
was giving me tips of some sort, so that it
would be encrypted and it would be on his personal
phone and it could be taken that kind of stuff.
(24:42):
You never explicitly said, do you want to do anything
with me? Or like he never explicitly asked me out,
or you know, things like that. Nature it's all very sneaky,
and about interpretation, they.
Speaker 17 (24:58):
Mean my sneaky.
Speaker 14 (25:01):
Sneaky as in he would use words that would be
suggestive or language that would be suggestive, and it felt
to me like a test to see how I took it.
He brought up sexual relations with his wife, and again
I don't remember exactly what was said, but I remember
(25:21):
that he was on vacation or at his son's base,
or not baseball, but some kind of sporting event away,
and he mentioned like something along the lines of, you know,
maybe I'll get lucky, or when you have kids, the
only time you have sex is when you're away, or
something like that. That obviously was inappropriate and kind of
(25:47):
opened the door if I wanted to talk about sexual relations.
Speaker 11 (25:51):
You had wrote that this became obvious that the friendlier
I was, the more beneficial it could be. So tell
me about this.
Speaker 2 (26:00):
Do you mean by friendlier if.
Speaker 14 (26:02):
I would have accepted his advances or been sexual in return,
or you know, when I explained, I felt like he
was opened the door to talk about my sexual life.
If I would have done that kind of stuff, like
just given that green light that I'm okay with this behavior.
Speaker 2 (26:20):
Okay, So what was the benefit?
Speaker 14 (26:23):
The benefit was the whole point in telling us, telling
me to get what zapp was. You know, this was
a way for him to give us tips. So the
benefit was if we're friendly, if we had this good relationship,
then he would give us good scoops and tips about
things going on in the police department.
Speaker 1 (26:43):
The reporter knew of other women who felt the same way,
but they either decided it was too risky to complain
or felt it didn't rise to the level of needing
to report. So without any other complaints, the investigation was
relatively thin and it looked like Joel was going to
talk his way out of this one. We actually received
(27:03):
the recording of Joel doing exactly that.
Speaker 11 (27:09):
This is Commander of Ta Sholshski with Closhman's Police Department
Professional Standards Division. Today is February eleventh, twenty nineteen. I
am interviewing Lieutenant Joel Kern in regards to internal Affairs
case nineteen zero three zero.
Speaker 1 (27:27):
Oszewski asked Joel to explain why he had urged reporters
to download WhatsApp, an encrypted app that his supervisors couldn't monitor.
This was a violation of department rules and Joel knew it.
Speaker 2 (27:39):
At the time.
Speaker 18 (27:40):
There was like this big thing in the media about
you know, stories being lead and released, and then there's
different apps that people communicate to reporters about to be
like a safe method of communication with the reporters or whatever,
safe meaning like secure.
Speaker 1 (27:54):
At first, Joel said it was for security, but the
IA officer wasn't by I'm not.
Speaker 11 (28:01):
I guess I don't understand if you're worried about stories leaking.
Why was it only these two women?
Speaker 18 (28:07):
Well, I mean, I see where you're going with that.
And again it's because I was communicating with them the most,
like one.
Speaker 2 (28:18):
That was always asking the questions the most. I don't
think it was anything that would be like a targeting
thing or anything like that.
Speaker 11 (28:25):
Were you trying to just target? When you say target,
I mean I think get more friendlier with those two,
maybe hoping it might go somewhere.
Speaker 18 (28:34):
I think if I was honest with myself, then I
would say, yeah, that would be an a curious statement.
Speaker 14 (28:39):
Are they young?
Speaker 2 (28:40):
Are they old or middle aged. I guess like twenties, arly, thirties.
Speaker 11 (28:47):
Okay, middle aged Joel, it's like fifty okay.
Speaker 2 (28:53):
Are they attractive? Are they not?
Speaker 4 (28:55):
Okay?
Speaker 11 (28:58):
So you were that you were singling those two out
for the WhatsApp of it.
Speaker 18 (29:05):
That sounds bad, But yeah, I think that, if I'm
honest with myself, that would be a fair statement. You know,
they're very smart and like I say, waity, and there's
fun to talk to. And then so I think then
that's where the flirtation came in, and then the sexual innuindo.
(29:26):
It wouldn't be something that I'd want my wife or
kids reading obviously.
Speaker 11 (29:31):
So Joe, when you're talking about the flirtation, was that
on your part?
Speaker 2 (29:36):
Well, whose part was that on?
Speaker 18 (29:38):
I think it was. I think it's like mutual flirtation.
And then.
Speaker 2 (29:47):
Things weren't good at.
Speaker 4 (29:50):
Right.
Speaker 1 (29:50):
As the conversation gets to the heart of the issue,
his abuse of power, Joel pivots he wells up with
tears and changes the subject too what he's been going
through recently.
Speaker 11 (30:03):
Why did you have these conversations with them, the sexual
innuendo conversation.
Speaker 18 (30:10):
That was in a bad place with my marriage at
the time and emotionally, and then I think I got
maybe just like sucked into a trap or reading things
into things that were being said that we're not really there.
Speaker 1 (30:30):
Caroline had no idea her marriage was in a bad
place in twenty nineteen. If you remember from episode one,
Caroline shared Joel had a few breakdowns and ultimately started therapy.
He had mentioned witnessing the carnage from fatal accident scenes
and his fear about their kids starting to drive, but
she'd been there for him and they worked through it
(30:52):
as a couple. As the interview continued, Joel read the room,
he realized his best strategy would be to fall on
the sword.
Speaker 2 (31:02):
I'm embarrassed, I'm humiliated, I'm ashamed. I know what I did.
I was wrong. I'm very sorry for it, and.
Speaker 15 (31:12):
I've taken proactive steps to help myself get better again.
I take four responsibility for my actions, and I asked
for mercy.
Speaker 1 (31:28):
Joel had been on the record pleading for mercy three
years before his official suspension, which was on April eleventh,
twenty twenty two, and on April eleventh, the truth was
finally being laid bare. In their living room, Caroline and
their daughter were on the couch and their son was
on speakerphone. They listened to Joel confess that he'd been
(31:48):
lying and covering his tracks for years.
Speaker 4 (31:52):
And then he went on a tirade of continuing to
blame me and said that he didn't think we had
sex enough, and then he started making crass comments about
his sexual needs. Our daughter was just wailing and crying,
and our son hung up. He never removed his wedding ring.
(32:13):
He always kept an one.
Speaker 1 (32:15):
But then he.
Speaker 4 (32:17):
Struggled for a long time, but finally gets his ring off.
Inside of it I had engraved forever and ever, sets
it down on the fireplace, walks over and fills up
his yetti cup, and just walked out the door.
Speaker 1 (32:56):
Caroline's entire world had come apart in a single afternoon. Immediately,
she reached out to a close friend who would soon
take on a greater role in her life.
Speaker 17 (33:07):
My name is Don and I'm a family law attorney.
Speaker 1 (33:12):
Don was a good friend to both Caroline and Joel.
Speaker 17 (33:15):
I was shocked, absolutely shocked when I heard the news.
For me to not even have an inkling of his
other side, I guess bothered me because I usually have
a pretty good gut feeling about people.
Speaker 1 (33:28):
Don normally made it policy not to represent her friends
in a divorce, but she made an exception this time,
not so much for Caroline, but for the kids.
Speaker 17 (33:39):
The children are very proud of their parents' accomplishments. They
really appreciated and respected what they did. That was part
of their identity is that their parents were so great.
So when this all happened, my inkling for the children
(33:59):
was everything that they know, everything that they thought was
good and pure or whatever real is not.
Speaker 1 (34:10):
The kids had to find a way to keep going.
Their son wanted to come home from college, but Caroline
wouldn't allow it, and their daughter.
Speaker 5 (34:19):
Everything happened on a Monday, and that Wednesday, I took
my SATs. I had a plan, like I still needed
to go to college. So, you know, she kind of ingraining.
I guess, the sort of motivation where you need to
do something, you just get it done.
Speaker 1 (34:38):
As for Caroline, she was on autopilot. Her friends came
to her with some unsettling but important advice.
Speaker 4 (34:47):
You know, they let me know, you really should set
doctor's appointment to make sure that I don't have anything
and have a full STI STD screen and so I
called this facility, humili asked if I could schedule an
appointment specifically for this. They said yes, And when I
walked in, I tried to keep myself together. And then
(35:10):
I sat in the exam room and this nurse practitioner
who I had seen dozens of times for my kids'
sports physicals, she walked in the room and I just
immediately lost it. I'm in this exam room, I'm crying.
I'm telling her these very personal details of what's just
(35:33):
been revealed. And so she does a full exam and
she leaves the room, and when she came back in,
she just had this horrible, fearful look on her face.
And I just was sobbing, and I said, you can
tell I have something, can't you. You can already tell I
(35:55):
have something, And she shook her head and she said no.
She was debating on telling me that Joel had essentially
been blacklisted from seeing her because he had come in
four different appointments before and had been and appropriate with
(36:16):
his commentary and very sexualized with his commentary toward her.
And I was mortified. And she said, given what I
was going through, if she was in my shoes, she'd
want to know.
Speaker 1 (36:30):
Caroline had asdrol repeatedly, what else, what else have you done?
She didn't want any more surprises. There had to be
more than just two affairs, and this experience was confirmation
that her instincts were dead on.
Speaker 4 (36:47):
I was just humiliated hearing from another female that my
husband had approached them in a manner that made them
feel so uncomfortable that they could not even professionally see.
It was humiliating, absolutely humiliating. I got to the parking
lot and I called him and he answered, and I
(37:10):
said to him, this is what was just told to me.
And he was very calm, and he said, I'm sorry.
And I said, you knew this and he said yes,
they let me know, and I knew how I behaved,
and I'm embarrassed. And he was just so matter of
(37:30):
fact about it. And I was infuriated, absolutely infuriated. And
I saw his location and I drove to the campsite
where he was at at the RV park.
Speaker 1 (37:44):
Joel was staying in their family RV at a campground.
Speaker 4 (37:47):
And I just started banging on the door and he
opened the door and I told him, do not lie
to me, do not lie to me. I want to
know what you have done. You are someone who I
don't even know, and I want to know the secret
life that you have lived behind our backs.
Speaker 1 (38:10):
Nicole was at school when she noticed Caroline's location on
their Family Life three sixty app.
Speaker 19 (38:17):
I don't really want to have my mom alone with
my dad because I was really scared of my dad
because I thought like he did all this stuff without
us knowing.
Speaker 4 (38:30):
I don't know what he's capable of. Next thing you know,
there's banging at the door of our RV. She just
got up and left her classroom at the high school
and drove to where we were at, And as we
were sitting there, she walked calmly over to a laptop
(38:50):
he had taken from our home.
Speaker 1 (38:52):
Nicole grabbed Joel's computer and started looking through it, logging
onto various websites, and reading his emails and text messages.
They were there for the truth. All those long nights
on duty. What else had Joel been up to? How
far did his misconduct go?
Speaker 4 (39:10):
Suddenly, through our daughter's forensic reveal of his computer, the
number of people he had sex with just started growing dramatically.
Speaker 1 (39:23):
Nicole dialed in her older brother. She wanted him to
hear everything, so it became the next family meeting, and
then Nicole started recording on her phone. She wanted documentation.
She and her mom were running on adrenaline.
Speaker 14 (39:40):
Cat'en mouse, Cat and mouse, Cat and mouse. You just
have to keep being caught.
Speaker 1 (39:44):
Why can't you just spell it all out?
Speaker 2 (39:46):
Because I can't remember everything because you.
Speaker 1 (39:48):
Had so many people.
Speaker 12 (39:51):
How many people didn't talk to fifteen one hundred? What's
the range?
Speaker 2 (39:58):
Fifty sounds good?
Speaker 4 (40:01):
How many times did you actually physically meet someone?
Speaker 2 (40:07):
This is why I'm telling you, like around the seven.
Speaker 12 (40:11):
And then another thought I had today, I cannot drive
around the city without questioning. I wonder if my dad
received oral sex and was working lot. Remember that day
we went to Memorial Park. We looked at the.
Speaker 4 (40:30):
Police memorial and all that you wanted us to see
the police memorial.
Speaker 12 (40:34):
We ran races over by Memorial Park.
Speaker 1 (40:38):
Memorial Park was where Joel met the first woman to
have sex in his cop car. At first, he denied
he was working when they met up. But then I
know where it told.
Speaker 20 (40:49):
You after work earlier, but I'm pretty sure it was
like mid morning or lunchtime or whatever. And then went
back to work and then worked out and took a
shower and all that.
Speaker 4 (41:07):
So you left work, went and had sex with someone
on the city's dime.
Speaker 1 (41:15):
Everyone thought Joel was one of the good ones, an
honorable cop. They had sacrificed so much for his career.
She didn't recognize this man. In fact, she didn't recognize
her life at all. Her life was now split into two,
two realities running parallel tracks. There were her memories, and
(41:40):
then there was everything Joel was doing behind her back.
All of those late nights, the miss sports games, the holidays.
Where was he Her brain never went there. She didn't
know what was real anymore. It was a sad and
terrifying feeling.
Speaker 4 (42:00):
The kids and I thought we were living this life
of love and a family. I'm purity more things perfect,
of course not do we argue about taking trash out
and who was going to kick up from dinner yup?
(42:21):
But never did I think that anything like this was
going on behind our backs.
Speaker 1 (42:25):
Ever, So was this finally the full picture? We're all
of Joel's secrets out in the open. No, not even close.
Here's Caroline and Joel's son.
Speaker 6 (42:44):
I'm not naive to the fact that all of us
are human, and everybody makes mistakes and everybody has their shortcomings,
and everybody has flaws and demons that they with, But
to me, there's a clear line here between being a
(43:07):
fallible person and monstrosity.
Speaker 1 (43:15):
On the next episode of Betrayal, Caroline comes to the
realization that Joel has been gaslighting her for years.
Speaker 4 (43:23):
So I'm literally watching the phone where I can see
him speeding to our house. He's not at another accident,
he's not at the hospital. He's coming from somewhere. And
so when he got home, I said, are you lying
to me?
Speaker 1 (43:40):
And more revelations about his double life are exposed. Thank
you for listening to Betrayal season four. If you would
like to reach out to the Betrayal team, email us
at Betrayal Pod at gmail dot com. That's Betrayal Pod
at gmail dot com. Also, please be sure to follow
(44:01):
us on Instagram at Betrayal Pod and me Andrea H.
Gunning for all Betrayal content, news and updates. One way
to support the series is by subscribing to our show
on Apple Podcasts. Please rate and review Betrayal. Five star
reviews help us know you appreciate what we do. Betrayal
is a production of Glass Podcasts, a division of Glass
(44:22):
Entertainment Group in partnership with iHeart Podcasts. The show is
executive produced by Nancy Glass and Jennifer Fason. Betrayal is
hosted and produced by me Andrea Gunning, written and produced
by Carrie Hartman, also produced by Ben Fetterman. Our associate
producers are Caitlin Golden and Kristin Melcurie. Our iHeart team
(44:43):
is Ali Perry and Jessica Crincheck. Story editing by Monique Leboard,
audio editing and mixing by Matt Delvecchio, editing by Tanner Robbins,
and special thanks to Caroline and her family. Betrayal's theme
is composed by Oliver Bains. Music library provided by my
Music and For more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app,
(45:04):
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts,
Host
Andrea Gunning
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