April 17, 2025 • 13 mins
In our first listener essay, Melissa reads her account of resilience and healing after her father’s betrayal.
If you would like to reach out to the Betrayal Team, email us at betrayalpod@gmail.com and follow us on Instagram at @betrayalpod
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
Hey guys, it's Andre Gunning. A few weeks ago, we
put a call out for your listener essays. We wanted
to hear from you about resilience after a devastating betrayal,
and we received so many incredible essays submissions. So for
this episode, we're going to feature the first of two
(01:02):
listener essays that really moved me. This one is written
and read by a listener named Melissa.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
Pain has been both my burden and my teacher, breaking
me open in ways I never wanted and shaping me
into someone I never expected to become. As a teenager,
my world fractured in an instant. My father, my anchor,
was ripped away, not by death, but by his own betrayal.
(01:37):
He was sent to prison for raping a teenage girl.
The man I looked to for protection became the reason
I no longer felt safe or sure of who I was.
It wasn't just the act he committed, it was the
way it shattered everything I thought I knew about love, trust,
and family. That wound didn't heal. It seeped into the
(01:58):
fabric of my life, dictating the person I became. The
echoes of that betrayal followed me like shadows, coloring every
decision I made, lingering over my shoulder and even scaring
away some who learn the truth in my desperate need
to find stability, to build a life that felt whole.
I married a man who was battling his own demons.
(02:23):
He was a secret addict and an alcoholic, someone who
hid his pain while drowning it in substances. When I
learned of his struggle, I thought I could save him.
I believe that what I went through early on would
give me the strength to push through. Maybe, deep down
I thought saving him would somehow redeem the parts of
(02:43):
my life I couldn't. But love cannot survive where it
is consumed by unrelenting chaos. We bore a son together,
my saving grace. I stayed with my husband until I
couldn't anymore. The strength to leave DA didn't come all
at once. It came in fragments, small moments of clarity,
(03:04):
of exhaustion, and finally, after a friend reminded me of
my strength, I was given a new understanding that trying
to save him would mean losing myself. Walking away was
one of the hardest things I'd ever done. It meant
accepting that I couldn't fix everything. It meant carrying the
weight of yet another failure, another loss, another broken family.
(03:28):
But leaving wasn't the end. It was the beginning. Pain
has a way of carving you hollow, but it also
creates space, space to grow, to rebuild, to transform. Slowly,
I began to see my pain for what it was,
(03:49):
a relentless teacher showing me how to live with open
eyes and an open heart. The wounds I carry, though deep,
have given me something unexpected, the ability to see what
others try to hide. I see the hurt in those
around me, the silent struggles, the stories etched into their eyes.
(04:10):
And when I meet someone who is carrying this pain,
I've learned to love them through their own traumas, through
their own burdens of guilt and feelings of unworthiness. Raising
my son has been my greatest redemption. Every day I
strive to teach him the things life has taught me.
To be kind even when it's hard, to be strong
(04:31):
but never unfeeling, to hold compassion as his compass, and
to walk through life in a way that brings light
to a dark world. He is my proof that something
beautiful can rise from the ashes of a broken past.
I've chosen to live with curiosity instead of judgment, to
approach others not with condemnation, but with a desire to understand.
(04:55):
Everyone carries their own wounds, their own betrayals, their own burdens.
I've found that sharing our traumas creates a mutual trust,
allowing us to release the weight of that burden together.
My pain has taught me to find beauty and the
shattered pieces, to see the sunbeams that filter through the
dark clouds. It has taught me that even in brokenness
(05:16):
there is grace, and even in hurt, there is healing.
The journey hasn't been easy. There are still days when
the weight of it all feels unbearable, when the memories
rise like tides and threaten to drown me, when I'm
reminded how the family I once had is no longer.
But I've learned to let those waves come, to let
(05:37):
them crash over me without pulling me under. I've learned
to stand in the storm and let it pass. If
pain has taught me anything it's that we are all
broken in some way. But brokenness is not the end
of the story. It is in the cracks where the
light shines through. It is in the healing that we
find purpose. My pain has become my strength, my compass,
(06:01):
my gift. It has taught me to love, to forgive,
and to see beauty where others see ruined. I've transformed
my hurt into healing, not just for myself, but for
those who cross my path. I give my time to
those who need it most, offering compassion and a listening
ear to those who have also been broken by life.
(06:24):
I share my story, not knowing how it will be received,
but trusting in the power of vulnerability. Time and again,
I've found that sharing creates a connection, a reminder that
none of us walk this path alone. I've chosen to
live with an open heart, welcoming the messiness of life
and finding grace and peace within it. My pain will
always be a part of me, etched into who I am,
(06:48):
but it no longer holds me captive. Instead, it has
shaped me into someone stronger, someone free, someone who can
rise from the ashes and be an example and encouragement
for others to do the same.
Speaker 1 (07:09):
When we come back, our producer talks with Melissa about
her writing process, and stay tuned until the end of
the episode, when we'll be sharing the theme of our
next listener essay.
Speaker 3 (07:31):
I'm going to.
Speaker 1 (07:32):
Hand it over to our producer Mo, who talked with
Melissa for this episode.
Speaker 3 (07:37):
Can you tell me a little bit about the process
of writing this What did that look like.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
I was listening to the podcast while I was sitting
in the waiting room of the passport office, and I
had about forty five minutes, and I heard right at
the beginning of the podcast that you guys were doing
this essay submission, and I was like, you know what,
I've got time, I'm going to do it now. And
(08:02):
I just sat there and I just started thinking about
my pain and thinking about how it's affected me in
good ways and bad, and I just started writing in
my notes on my phone and just kept rereading it
(08:24):
and editing it, rereading it and editing it. Honestly, I
wanted it to be more about the healing than the pain,
because I spent so much of my life focusing so
much on what the trauma was. And I always thought,
you know, there's going to be a light at the
end of the tunnel. I'm going to look back in
twenty years and I'm going to see how much good
(08:46):
this did in my life, and honestly, that's not the case.
More often than not, the trauma that I went through
was just all encompassing and the pain was debilitating a
lot of times. That's definitely like the inner voice, right, Like,
(09:07):
every time I share it, I'm like, do I really
need to share this? Does somebody really want to hear this?
It really can mess with what you think about yourself,
and so I really wanted that to be what this
essay was about. It's really not about coming out on
the other side and like, Oh, the trauma's gone and
(09:30):
we're all good and everything's fine. I mean, I'm sure
you guys hear it a lot from people emailing you
in like, wow, this story was incredible, and this was
so helpful for me. But there's so many people that
are not writing in that are feeling the same thing.
So as I was sitting and writing it, it was
very important to me that I focus on the aspect
(09:51):
of using this trauma for good and yeah, when you
do share it with other people really does create this
amazing connection. Like I feel like as humans, if we
did a lot more of this sharing that it would
heal a lot of very broken people.
Speaker 3 (10:12):
I wonder what your encouragement would be for people who
are listening who might want to share their story.
Speaker 2 (10:19):
Yeah. I think in my experience, both in my professional
career and in my personal life, I've come across so
many people who feel that they're not able to do
something that they want to do. A lot of it,
like with imposter syndrome, is just like you know, you
don't think you're good enough for people aren't going to
(10:40):
take it the right way, or it's not I'm not
going to say you have the right words. And honestly,
the only way that I was able to do this
was just to spit it all out on paper and
send it. I probably spent less than an hour in
total in writing, editing, and then just hitting the s
in button. And some of that for me was just
(11:01):
getting the words out on paper and wanting to get
rid of them, you know, like I've put this down
and I need it to be out of my hands.
Speaker 3 (11:10):
Wow, our whole team is really grateful that you wrote
in and shared this with us and shared everything you've
learned in this essay.
Speaker 2 (11:21):
It really means a lot that you guys asked me
to do it. I was honestly very shocked when I
saw that email like, oh my gosh, not only did
they read it, but they want me. But I am
very very I'm very very thankful to your team and
everything that you guys do because it really is important.
So please don't stop.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
Thank you so much for listening, and thank you to
the incredible listeners who wrote in to share their essays
on the theme of resilience. We were so moved by
your submissions that were bringing you more of these listener essays,
and our next theme will be the moment everything changed.
Set the scene, take us back to that memory. Describe
the feelings and thoughts you had in the moment when
(12:07):
everything changed for you. The limit is a thousand words.
If your story stands out, it might be featured in
a bonus episode. Please save your submission as a PDF
and email it to Betrayalpod at gmail dot com. If
(12:31):
you would like to reach out to the Betrayal team
or want to tell us your betrayal story, email us
at betrayalpod at gmail dot com. That's Betrayal Pod at
gmail dot com. We're grateful for your support. One way
to show support is by subscribing to our show on
Apple Podcasts and don't forget to rate and review Betrayal.
Five star reviews go a long way, a big thank
(12:53):
you to all of our listeners. Betrayal is a production
of Glass Podcasts, a division of Glass Entertainment Group and
partnership with iHeart Podcasts. The show is executive produced by
Nancy Glass and Jennifer Fason, hosted and produced by me
Andrea Gunning, written and produced by Monique Leboard, also produced
by Ben Fetterman. Associate producers are Kristin Mercury and Caitlin Golden.
(13:17):
Our iHeart teams Ali Perry and Jessica Krincheck. Audio editing
and mixing by Matt del Vecchio, Additional editing support from
Tanner Robbins. Betrayal's theme composed by Oliver Bains. Music library
provided by my Music and For more podcasts from iHeart,
visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get
(13:38):
your podcasts.
Hey guys, it's Andre Gunning. A few weeks ago, we
put a call out for your listener essays. We wanted
to hear from you about resilience after a devastating betrayal,
and we received so many incredible essays submissions. So for
this episode, we're going to feature the first of two
(01:02):
listener essays that really moved me. This one is written
and read by a listener named Melissa.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
Pain has been both my burden and my teacher, breaking
me open in ways I never wanted and shaping me
into someone I never expected to become. As a teenager,
my world fractured in an instant. My father, my anchor,
was ripped away, not by death, but by his own betrayal.
(01:37):
He was sent to prison for raping a teenage girl.
The man I looked to for protection became the reason
I no longer felt safe or sure of who I was.
It wasn't just the act he committed, it was the
way it shattered everything I thought I knew about love, trust,
and family. That wound didn't heal. It seeped into the
(01:58):
fabric of my life, dictating the person I became. The
echoes of that betrayal followed me like shadows, coloring every
decision I made, lingering over my shoulder and even scaring
away some who learn the truth in my desperate need
to find stability, to build a life that felt whole.
I married a man who was battling his own demons.
(02:23):
He was a secret addict and an alcoholic, someone who
hid his pain while drowning it in substances. When I
learned of his struggle, I thought I could save him.
I believe that what I went through early on would
give me the strength to push through. Maybe, deep down
I thought saving him would somehow redeem the parts of
(02:43):
my life I couldn't. But love cannot survive where it
is consumed by unrelenting chaos. We bore a son together,
my saving grace. I stayed with my husband until I
couldn't anymore. The strength to leave DA didn't come all
at once. It came in fragments, small moments of clarity,
(03:04):
of exhaustion, and finally, after a friend reminded me of
my strength, I was given a new understanding that trying
to save him would mean losing myself. Walking away was
one of the hardest things I'd ever done. It meant
accepting that I couldn't fix everything. It meant carrying the
weight of yet another failure, another loss, another broken family.
(03:28):
But leaving wasn't the end. It was the beginning. Pain
has a way of carving you hollow, but it also
creates space, space to grow, to rebuild, to transform. Slowly,
I began to see my pain for what it was,
(03:49):
a relentless teacher showing me how to live with open
eyes and an open heart. The wounds I carry, though deep,
have given me something unexpected, the ability to see what
others try to hide. I see the hurt in those
around me, the silent struggles, the stories etched into their eyes.
(04:10):
And when I meet someone who is carrying this pain,
I've learned to love them through their own traumas, through
their own burdens of guilt and feelings of unworthiness. Raising
my son has been my greatest redemption. Every day I
strive to teach him the things life has taught me.
To be kind even when it's hard, to be strong
(04:31):
but never unfeeling, to hold compassion as his compass, and
to walk through life in a way that brings light
to a dark world. He is my proof that something
beautiful can rise from the ashes of a broken past.
I've chosen to live with curiosity instead of judgment, to
approach others not with condemnation, but with a desire to understand.
(04:55):
Everyone carries their own wounds, their own betrayals, their own burdens.
I've found that sharing our traumas creates a mutual trust,
allowing us to release the weight of that burden together.
My pain has taught me to find beauty and the
shattered pieces, to see the sunbeams that filter through the
dark clouds. It has taught me that even in brokenness
(05:16):
there is grace, and even in hurt, there is healing.
The journey hasn't been easy. There are still days when
the weight of it all feels unbearable, when the memories
rise like tides and threaten to drown me, when I'm
reminded how the family I once had is no longer.
But I've learned to let those waves come, to let
(05:37):
them crash over me without pulling me under. I've learned
to stand in the storm and let it pass. If
pain has taught me anything it's that we are all
broken in some way. But brokenness is not the end
of the story. It is in the cracks where the
light shines through. It is in the healing that we
find purpose. My pain has become my strength, my compass,
(06:01):
my gift. It has taught me to love, to forgive,
and to see beauty where others see ruined. I've transformed
my hurt into healing, not just for myself, but for
those who cross my path. I give my time to
those who need it most, offering compassion and a listening
ear to those who have also been broken by life.
(06:24):
I share my story, not knowing how it will be received,
but trusting in the power of vulnerability. Time and again,
I've found that sharing creates a connection, a reminder that
none of us walk this path alone. I've chosen to
live with an open heart, welcoming the messiness of life
and finding grace and peace within it. My pain will
always be a part of me, etched into who I am,
(06:48):
but it no longer holds me captive. Instead, it has
shaped me into someone stronger, someone free, someone who can
rise from the ashes and be an example and encouragement
for others to do the same.
Speaker 1 (07:09):
When we come back, our producer talks with Melissa about
her writing process, and stay tuned until the end of
the episode, when we'll be sharing the theme of our
next listener essay.
Speaker 3 (07:31):
I'm going to.
Speaker 1 (07:32):
Hand it over to our producer Mo, who talked with
Melissa for this episode.
Speaker 3 (07:37):
Can you tell me a little bit about the process
of writing this What did that look like.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
I was listening to the podcast while I was sitting
in the waiting room of the passport office, and I
had about forty five minutes, and I heard right at
the beginning of the podcast that you guys were doing
this essay submission, and I was like, you know what,
I've got time, I'm going to do it now. And
(08:02):
I just sat there and I just started thinking about
my pain and thinking about how it's affected me in
good ways and bad, and I just started writing in
my notes on my phone and just kept rereading it
(08:24):
and editing it, rereading it and editing it. Honestly, I
wanted it to be more about the healing than the pain,
because I spent so much of my life focusing so
much on what the trauma was. And I always thought,
you know, there's going to be a light at the
end of the tunnel. I'm going to look back in
twenty years and I'm going to see how much good
(08:46):
this did in my life, and honestly, that's not the case.
More often than not, the trauma that I went through
was just all encompassing and the pain was debilitating a
lot of times. That's definitely like the inner voice, right, Like,
(09:07):
every time I share it, I'm like, do I really
need to share this? Does somebody really want to hear this?
It really can mess with what you think about yourself,
and so I really wanted that to be what this
essay was about. It's really not about coming out on
the other side and like, Oh, the trauma's gone and
(09:30):
we're all good and everything's fine. I mean, I'm sure
you guys hear it a lot from people emailing you
in like, wow, this story was incredible, and this was
so helpful for me. But there's so many people that
are not writing in that are feeling the same thing.
So as I was sitting and writing it, it was
very important to me that I focus on the aspect
(09:51):
of using this trauma for good and yeah, when you
do share it with other people really does create this
amazing connection. Like I feel like as humans, if we
did a lot more of this sharing that it would
heal a lot of very broken people.
Speaker 3 (10:12):
I wonder what your encouragement would be for people who
are listening who might want to share their story.
Speaker 2 (10:19):
Yeah. I think in my experience, both in my professional
career and in my personal life, I've come across so
many people who feel that they're not able to do
something that they want to do. A lot of it,
like with imposter syndrome, is just like you know, you
don't think you're good enough for people aren't going to
(10:40):
take it the right way, or it's not I'm not
going to say you have the right words. And honestly,
the only way that I was able to do this
was just to spit it all out on paper and
send it. I probably spent less than an hour in
total in writing, editing, and then just hitting the s
in button. And some of that for me was just
(11:01):
getting the words out on paper and wanting to get
rid of them, you know, like I've put this down
and I need it to be out of my hands.
Speaker 3 (11:10):
Wow, our whole team is really grateful that you wrote
in and shared this with us and shared everything you've
learned in this essay.
Speaker 2 (11:21):
It really means a lot that you guys asked me
to do it. I was honestly very shocked when I
saw that email like, oh my gosh, not only did
they read it, but they want me. But I am
very very I'm very very thankful to your team and
everything that you guys do because it really is important.
So please don't stop.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
Thank you so much for listening, and thank you to
the incredible listeners who wrote in to share their essays
on the theme of resilience. We were so moved by
your submissions that were bringing you more of these listener essays,
and our next theme will be the moment everything changed.
Set the scene, take us back to that memory. Describe
the feelings and thoughts you had in the moment when
(12:07):
everything changed for you. The limit is a thousand words.
If your story stands out, it might be featured in
a bonus episode. Please save your submission as a PDF
and email it to Betrayalpod at gmail dot com. If
(12:31):
you would like to reach out to the Betrayal team
or want to tell us your betrayal story, email us
at betrayalpod at gmail dot com. That's Betrayal Pod at
gmail dot com. We're grateful for your support. One way
to show support is by subscribing to our show on
Apple Podcasts and don't forget to rate and review Betrayal.
Five star reviews go a long way, a big thank
(12:53):
you to all of our listeners. Betrayal is a production
of Glass Podcasts, a division of Glass Entertainment Group and
partnership with iHeart Podcasts. The show is executive produced by
Nancy Glass and Jennifer Fason, hosted and produced by me
Andrea Gunning, written and produced by Monique Leboard, also produced
by Ben Fetterman. Associate producers are Kristin Mercury and Caitlin Golden.
(13:17):
Our iHeart teams Ali Perry and Jessica Krincheck. Audio editing
and mixing by Matt del Vecchio, Additional editing support from
Tanner Robbins. Betrayal's theme composed by Oliver Bains. Music library
provided by my Music and For more podcasts from iHeart,
visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get
(13:38):
your podcasts.
Host
Andrea Gunning
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