April 24, 2025 • 16 mins
Molly reads her story of resilience and healing after an abusive relationship.
If you would like to reach out to the Betrayal Team, email us at betrayalpod@gmail.com and follow us on Instagram at @betrayalpod
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
Hey guys, it's Andre Gunning. A few weeks ago, we
put a call out for your listener essays. We wanted
to hear from you about resilience after a devastating betrayal,
and we received so many incredible essays missions. For this episode,
we're going to feature the second of two essays that
really moved me. It's written and read by a listener
(01:08):
named Molly.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
The willow tree bends, but it does not break. It
weathers storms by swaying with the wind, its roots gripping
the earth with quiet determination. I didn't know I had
that kind of strength until the night I left, with
my seven and a half month old baby in my
arms and a carry on suitcase packed for a nine
day trip. I thought I'd be gone for a short while,
(01:37):
but life had other plans. Then again, when I got married,
I didn't think i'd have to flee from him in
fear for my safety and that of my child. Over
the next year, I would cross eight states, learning to bend, adapt,
and survive with nothing but determination, hope, and my baby.
(02:00):
The breaking point the night I knew I had to leave.
The conflict started almost immediately after saying I do before marriage,
I had noticed differences in how we handled stress, how
quickly he became worked up, But I convinced myself it
was manageable. Then, within months of being married, he became
someone else. The man who had once written me cards
(02:22):
each month and planned thoughtful dates now picked fights over
the smallest things. How I ate my apples, whether I
let my coffee get cold, Things that shouldn't have mattered
to anyone, but somehow mattered enough to him to start
an argument. I was exhausted, constantly trying to recapture the
person I had married when I got pregnant. The shift
(02:43):
was undeniable. The first time he left bruises on my arms,
it was because I wouldn't sit on the couch when
ordered to, in a voice that sent chills down my spine.
It wasn't a request, it was a demand, and when
I refused, his grip tightened. That was the first time,
but it wasn't the last. The final night was the
(03:04):
worst of my life. I wasn't allowed to sleep. He
berated me for hours, his voice drilling into my skull,
his words cutting deeper than the bruises. He left behind,
Bruises on my arms, my legs, knuckle prints on my ribcage,
a giant bruise across my jaw. I didn't realize you
could even bruise from repeated slaps across the face. I
(03:27):
don't remember how many times he hit me, but I
do remember the moment that changed everything. He had been
holding our baby when he put her down just so
he could slap me. I watched helpless as she fell
off the bed. That was it. That was the moment
I knew there was no more trying, no more hoping
he would change. The only thing that mattered now was
(03:48):
getting out Storm one California, carrying the weight California was
supposed to a temporary stop. I worked forty hour weeks
with my baby strapped to my chest, sharing a room
with my sister, her two dogs, and the whirlwind of
uncertainty that had become my life. The stress of filing
(04:10):
for divorce and obtaining a restraining order was relentless, but
somehow we still found moments of joy. We laughed, We played,
We made memories that softened the sharp edges of my reality.
Adaptation wasn't a choice, it was survival. The wounds were fresh,
but laughter made me remember who I was before. Roots
(04:33):
that travel that tree tattoo. In the midst of all
the moving from state to state, carrying only what I
could manage, I felt completely unanchored. Safety meant staying in motion,
never lingering too long in one place, never feeling truly settled.
The instability weighed on me, but I clung to one truth.
(04:54):
Even if I wasn't planted, my roots still went with me.
That's why, during my time in cal I got the
tree tattoo, a tree with strong roots but at the
same time empty barren leaves. It was a reminder that
no matter where I had to go, I wasn't lost.
I carried my strength, my history, and my identity within me,
(05:15):
even when everything around me felt uncertain. Another step toward
wholeness stormed too, Texas, the in between. In Texas, I
lived in three different places, the last being with the
family I'd never met before we moved in. I was
able to continue working remotely and feel a bit of freedom,
(05:37):
to fill our days with park visits, time with my
friends who lived in the area, and began to think
and maybe even dream a little about the future. The
divorce was final in June. As I hung up the
film with my lawyer, I wiped my tears and high
fived the baby in the high chair and said, we've
got this, girly. We're going to be okay, better than okay.
(05:59):
I had begun counselor and went twice a week in Texas,
learning what had happened to me, figuring out red flags
I missed, discovering myself again. Storm three, Mississippi an unplanned gift.
Texas had been my plan as I just wanted to
stay put for a little while, but when my housing
(06:19):
fell through and I couldn't yet afford rent, Mississippi became
my unexpected refuge. What felt like another setback turned out
to be exactly where I needed to be. My father
had just been diagnosed with prostate cancer, and being there
meant I could help care for him, cook for my grandmother,
and have a stable place with my baby. But the
greatest gift was the time spent with my grandma. More importantly,
(06:42):
she and my baby got to know each other, not
just in passing visits, but in the quiet, everyday moments
that make up a life. We went to library story
time together, made meals side by side, and at night,
after the baby was asleep, we shared bowls of coffee,
ice cream, talking in the kind of unhurried way that
only happens when you live under the same roof. For
(07:03):
two months, I had the privilege of knowing her not
just as my grandmother, but as a woman, and she
got to love my daughter in that same way. Mississippi
was never part of my plan, but it became a
balm for my heart, an unexpected pause where I could
catch my breath and be surrounded by love. Storm four Indiana,
(07:26):
My hometown was a wonderful place to grow up, but
I never imagined living there as an adult. Life is
funny that way. For eight months, we shared a two
bedroom apartment with my mom, planning our next steps, maybe
even a place to stay for good. The three of
us became a team. In my mother, I finally found
the space to thrive in motherhood. He had made that impossible,
(07:48):
but she had always modeled love and support. Now, for
the first time, I had the chance to parent with
someone not alone. I found a support group to attend
each Wednesday. There, I found perspective and growth, and started
to realize how much stronger I was than when I
first went to counseling, fresh from the abuse, numb and
damage by all that I'd experienced, I was starting to
(08:12):
trust myself again. I started to believe people were still
good and loving and kind in the world. I remembered
I was loved just as I was, and that I
was enough just for being me. In Indiana, I was
able to even participate in a fundraising event for the
local woman's shelter, telling my story before a five k
(08:34):
voicing for the first time that going through abuse doesn't
make you weak, and that healing from abuse is true strength.
The end of the bend North Carolina. North Carolina became
more than just another stop. It became home. After years
(08:54):
of bending with the storms, I had finally found solid ground.
To mark the journey. I went to a new tattoo
artist to complete what had begun in California. The tree
on my skin, once bare, now had green leaves. As
the ink settled, I felt the weight of the past
few years, the fear, the exhaustion, the moments I thought
I wouldn't make it. But I had. I had not
(09:16):
only survived, I had grown, and life kept growing with me.
In time, I fell in love again, love that was
steady and safe. I built a new life, a family,
and welcomed another baby, proof that healing isn't just moving
on from pain, but making room for joy. The fear
(09:37):
never fully disappeared. He tried to find us while I
was pregnant with my second daughter, but he did not win.
We are safe, we are free, we are strong. Now
I give back offering the kind of support I once needed.
I share my story so others know they aren't alone.
(09:57):
Healing is not a straight path. We never returned to
who we were before the storm. But like the willow,
we can root ourselves in resilience, bend without breaking, and
when the time is right, grow fresh leaves once more.
When we come back.
Speaker 1 (10:17):
Our producer talks with Molly about her writing process, and
stay tuned until the end of the episode, but we'll
be sharing our next listener sa theme.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
I'm going to hand.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
It over to our producer Mo, who talked with Molly
for this episode.
Speaker 3 (10:43):
Can you just tell me a little bit about what
the process of writing this was like for you?
Speaker 2 (10:48):
Yeah, I mean I have had a lot of distance
and time for healing, and so I think looking back
and seeing the journey was important to me and trying
to weave that through. Just because anyone that leaves abuse
it can be chaotic, especially at first. There's just a
lot of upheaval, and people think leaving is it, that's it,
(11:11):
and it's just the start. It's the first step, and
there's so much that comes after that. So I just
really wanted to emphasize and hopefully have people relate to
just that journey that is leaving and how much that
becomes its own story.
Speaker 3 (11:27):
Really, I want to talk about the headings you'd used
and why you chose to title some of these headings.
You know, Storm one, Storm two, What does storm mean?
And why did you title the headings that way?
Speaker 2 (11:40):
There was just so much upheaval. I mean when I left, legitimately,
I had a trip planned. It's a yearly trip I
do with my college girlfriends, and he had been threatening
me and saying I wasn't going to go. He had
hid my suitcase, he'd taken my phone. I didn't know
if I was going. So that night before, when I
literally slept forty five minutes and I had a three
(12:01):
hour drive to the airport and he was going to
drive us, I didn't know if it was happening. So
he woke me up, I took a shower, we drove
to the airport. I was in shock, honestly, that we
were leaving. I had a nine day carry on, like
I had packed for me and a baby for nine
days going to Florida. This was not me leaving. This
was not me packing up my life, taking any documents
(12:22):
I needed, you know, anything important. It was just some
clothes for nine days. And we never went back, not
one time. So I guess the storm was really just
each step was unplanned. I went to la I was
supposed to be there for a birthday, for my daughter's
first birthday. Stayed for two months, and it just kept
(12:44):
being things like that where I had a plan and
then everything else happened around me. You know, I had
a place to live in Texas that fell through. My
dad got diagnosed with cancer. That seemed the next logical step.
Go be with family and then go back to you're
a hometown, figure out next steps. And so each time
it was a storm, but storms cannot kind of be peaceful.
(13:06):
And ironically now I listen to a thunderstorm to sleep,
so it's actually calming to the system. And when I
look back, they all had such purpose.
Speaker 3 (13:18):
How did it feel for you putting this down on
paper and then reading it out loud.
Speaker 2 (13:23):
I mean the process was fairly seamless, I would say,
just because I've thought of it so often since, and
I've you know, I've journaled, and I've done things like that.
It's not been obviously in this sort of structure as
an essay or anything like that, but I think it's
always a little bit therapeutic to take ownership of it.
And I kind of describe it to other people as
(13:46):
it almost happened to someone else, because I'm now someone else.
So when I look back, it's almost it's not dissociation,
but it's not emotional as far as like I'm not
I'm not emotionally affected by telling it. I'm empowered by
telling it because I remember what I've gone through and
who I am now, and I don't remember that girl
that left because she was just such a different version
(14:09):
of me. But I was not fully destroyed. And that's
something I hope people remember, is even if it's you know,
day one, you just left yesterday, you will become something else,
I promise.
Speaker 1 (14:28):
Thank you so much for listening, and thank you to
the incredible listeners who wrote in to share their essays
on the theme of resilience. We were so moved by
your submissions that were bringing you more of these listener
essays and our next theme will be the moment everything changed.
Set the scene, take us back to that memory. Describe
the feelings and thoughts you had in the moment when
(14:49):
everything changed for you. The limit is a thousand words.
If your story stands out, it might be featured in
a bonus episode. Please save your submission as a PDF
an email to Betrayalpod at gmail dot com. If you
would like to reach out to the Betrayal team or
(15:10):
want to tell us your Betrayal story, email us at
Betrayal pod at gmail dot com. That's Betrayal Pod at
gmail dot com.
Speaker 2 (15:19):
We're grateful for your support.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
One way to show support is by subscribing to our
show on Apple Podcasts, and don't forget to rate and
review Betrayal. Five star reviews go.
Speaker 2 (15:28):
A long way. A big thank you to all of
our listeners.
Speaker 1 (15:32):
Betrayal is a production of Glass Podcasts, a division of
Glass Entertainment Group and partnership with iHeart Podcasts. The show
is executive produced by Nancy Glass and Jennifer Fason, hosted
and produced by me Andrea Gunning, Written and produced by
Monique Leboard, also produced by Ben Fetterman. Associate producers are
Christin Melcuriy and Caitlin Golden. Our iHeart team is Ali
(15:55):
Perry and Jessica Krincheck. Audio editing and mixing by mattelv Yo,
additional editing support.
Speaker 2 (16:02):
From Tanner Robbins.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
Betrayal's theme composed by Oliver Bain's music library provided by.
Speaker 2 (16:09):
My Music and. For more podcasts from iHeart
Speaker 1 (16:12):
Visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get
your podcasts
Hey guys, it's Andre Gunning. A few weeks ago, we
put a call out for your listener essays. We wanted
to hear from you about resilience after a devastating betrayal,
and we received so many incredible essays missions. For this episode,
we're going to feature the second of two essays that
really moved me. It's written and read by a listener
(01:08):
named Molly.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
The willow tree bends, but it does not break. It
weathers storms by swaying with the wind, its roots gripping
the earth with quiet determination. I didn't know I had
that kind of strength until the night I left, with
my seven and a half month old baby in my
arms and a carry on suitcase packed for a nine
day trip. I thought I'd be gone for a short while,
(01:37):
but life had other plans. Then again, when I got married,
I didn't think i'd have to flee from him in
fear for my safety and that of my child. Over
the next year, I would cross eight states, learning to bend, adapt,
and survive with nothing but determination, hope, and my baby.
(02:00):
The breaking point the night I knew I had to leave.
The conflict started almost immediately after saying I do before marriage,
I had noticed differences in how we handled stress, how
quickly he became worked up, But I convinced myself it
was manageable. Then, within months of being married, he became
someone else. The man who had once written me cards
(02:22):
each month and planned thoughtful dates now picked fights over
the smallest things. How I ate my apples, whether I
let my coffee get cold, Things that shouldn't have mattered
to anyone, but somehow mattered enough to him to start
an argument. I was exhausted, constantly trying to recapture the
person I had married when I got pregnant. The shift
(02:43):
was undeniable. The first time he left bruises on my arms,
it was because I wouldn't sit on the couch when
ordered to, in a voice that sent chills down my spine.
It wasn't a request, it was a demand, and when
I refused, his grip tightened. That was the first time,
but it wasn't the last. The final night was the
(03:04):
worst of my life. I wasn't allowed to sleep. He
berated me for hours, his voice drilling into my skull,
his words cutting deeper than the bruises. He left behind,
Bruises on my arms, my legs, knuckle prints on my ribcage,
a giant bruise across my jaw. I didn't realize you
could even bruise from repeated slaps across the face. I
(03:27):
don't remember how many times he hit me, but I
do remember the moment that changed everything. He had been
holding our baby when he put her down just so
he could slap me. I watched helpless as she fell
off the bed. That was it. That was the moment
I knew there was no more trying, no more hoping
he would change. The only thing that mattered now was
(03:48):
getting out Storm one California, carrying the weight California was
supposed to a temporary stop. I worked forty hour weeks
with my baby strapped to my chest, sharing a room
with my sister, her two dogs, and the whirlwind of
uncertainty that had become my life. The stress of filing
(04:10):
for divorce and obtaining a restraining order was relentless, but
somehow we still found moments of joy. We laughed, We played,
We made memories that softened the sharp edges of my reality.
Adaptation wasn't a choice, it was survival. The wounds were fresh,
but laughter made me remember who I was before. Roots
(04:33):
that travel that tree tattoo. In the midst of all
the moving from state to state, carrying only what I
could manage, I felt completely unanchored. Safety meant staying in motion,
never lingering too long in one place, never feeling truly settled.
The instability weighed on me, but I clung to one truth.
(04:54):
Even if I wasn't planted, my roots still went with me.
That's why, during my time in cal I got the
tree tattoo, a tree with strong roots but at the
same time empty barren leaves. It was a reminder that
no matter where I had to go, I wasn't lost.
I carried my strength, my history, and my identity within me,
(05:15):
even when everything around me felt uncertain. Another step toward
wholeness stormed too, Texas, the in between. In Texas, I
lived in three different places, the last being with the
family I'd never met before we moved in. I was
able to continue working remotely and feel a bit of freedom,
(05:37):
to fill our days with park visits, time with my
friends who lived in the area, and began to think
and maybe even dream a little about the future. The
divorce was final in June. As I hung up the
film with my lawyer, I wiped my tears and high
fived the baby in the high chair and said, we've
got this, girly. We're going to be okay, better than okay.
(05:59):
I had begun counselor and went twice a week in Texas,
learning what had happened to me, figuring out red flags
I missed, discovering myself again. Storm three, Mississippi an unplanned gift.
Texas had been my plan as I just wanted to
stay put for a little while, but when my housing
(06:19):
fell through and I couldn't yet afford rent, Mississippi became
my unexpected refuge. What felt like another setback turned out
to be exactly where I needed to be. My father
had just been diagnosed with prostate cancer, and being there
meant I could help care for him, cook for my grandmother,
and have a stable place with my baby. But the
greatest gift was the time spent with my grandma. More importantly,
(06:42):
she and my baby got to know each other, not
just in passing visits, but in the quiet, everyday moments
that make up a life. We went to library story
time together, made meals side by side, and at night,
after the baby was asleep, we shared bowls of coffee,
ice cream, talking in the kind of unhurried way that
only happens when you live under the same roof. For
(07:03):
two months, I had the privilege of knowing her not
just as my grandmother, but as a woman, and she
got to love my daughter in that same way. Mississippi
was never part of my plan, but it became a
balm for my heart, an unexpected pause where I could
catch my breath and be surrounded by love. Storm four Indiana,
(07:26):
My hometown was a wonderful place to grow up, but
I never imagined living there as an adult. Life is
funny that way. For eight months, we shared a two
bedroom apartment with my mom, planning our next steps, maybe
even a place to stay for good. The three of
us became a team. In my mother, I finally found
the space to thrive in motherhood. He had made that impossible,
(07:48):
but she had always modeled love and support. Now, for
the first time, I had the chance to parent with
someone not alone. I found a support group to attend
each Wednesday. There, I found perspective and growth, and started
to realize how much stronger I was than when I
first went to counseling, fresh from the abuse, numb and
damage by all that I'd experienced, I was starting to
(08:12):
trust myself again. I started to believe people were still
good and loving and kind in the world. I remembered
I was loved just as I was, and that I
was enough just for being me. In Indiana, I was
able to even participate in a fundraising event for the
local woman's shelter, telling my story before a five k
(08:34):
voicing for the first time that going through abuse doesn't
make you weak, and that healing from abuse is true strength.
The end of the bend North Carolina. North Carolina became
more than just another stop. It became home. After years
(08:54):
of bending with the storms, I had finally found solid ground.
To mark the journey. I went to a new tattoo
artist to complete what had begun in California. The tree
on my skin, once bare, now had green leaves. As
the ink settled, I felt the weight of the past
few years, the fear, the exhaustion, the moments I thought
I wouldn't make it. But I had. I had not
(09:16):
only survived, I had grown, and life kept growing with me.
In time, I fell in love again, love that was
steady and safe. I built a new life, a family,
and welcomed another baby, proof that healing isn't just moving
on from pain, but making room for joy. The fear
(09:37):
never fully disappeared. He tried to find us while I
was pregnant with my second daughter, but he did not win.
We are safe, we are free, we are strong. Now
I give back offering the kind of support I once needed.
I share my story so others know they aren't alone.
(09:57):
Healing is not a straight path. We never returned to
who we were before the storm. But like the willow,
we can root ourselves in resilience, bend without breaking, and
when the time is right, grow fresh leaves once more.
When we come back.
Speaker 1 (10:17):
Our producer talks with Molly about her writing process, and
stay tuned until the end of the episode, but we'll
be sharing our next listener sa theme.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
I'm going to hand.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
It over to our producer Mo, who talked with Molly
for this episode.
Speaker 3 (10:43):
Can you just tell me a little bit about what
the process of writing this was like for you?
Speaker 2 (10:48):
Yeah, I mean I have had a lot of distance
and time for healing, and so I think looking back
and seeing the journey was important to me and trying
to weave that through. Just because anyone that leaves abuse
it can be chaotic, especially at first. There's just a
lot of upheaval, and people think leaving is it, that's it,
(11:11):
and it's just the start. It's the first step, and
there's so much that comes after that. So I just
really wanted to emphasize and hopefully have people relate to
just that journey that is leaving and how much that
becomes its own story.
Speaker 3 (11:27):
Really, I want to talk about the headings you'd used
and why you chose to title some of these headings.
You know, Storm one, Storm two, What does storm mean?
And why did you title the headings that way?
Speaker 2 (11:40):
There was just so much upheaval. I mean when I left, legitimately,
I had a trip planned. It's a yearly trip I
do with my college girlfriends, and he had been threatening
me and saying I wasn't going to go. He had
hid my suitcase, he'd taken my phone. I didn't know
if I was going. So that night before, when I
literally slept forty five minutes and I had a three
(12:01):
hour drive to the airport and he was going to
drive us, I didn't know if it was happening. So
he woke me up, I took a shower, we drove
to the airport. I was in shock, honestly, that we
were leaving. I had a nine day carry on, like
I had packed for me and a baby for nine
days going to Florida. This was not me leaving. This
was not me packing up my life, taking any documents
(12:22):
I needed, you know, anything important. It was just some
clothes for nine days. And we never went back, not
one time. So I guess the storm was really just
each step was unplanned. I went to la I was
supposed to be there for a birthday, for my daughter's
first birthday. Stayed for two months, and it just kept
(12:44):
being things like that where I had a plan and
then everything else happened around me. You know, I had
a place to live in Texas that fell through. My
dad got diagnosed with cancer. That seemed the next logical step.
Go be with family and then go back to you're
a hometown, figure out next steps. And so each time
it was a storm, but storms cannot kind of be peaceful.
(13:06):
And ironically now I listen to a thunderstorm to sleep,
so it's actually calming to the system. And when I
look back, they all had such purpose.
Speaker 3 (13:18):
How did it feel for you putting this down on
paper and then reading it out loud.
Speaker 2 (13:23):
I mean the process was fairly seamless, I would say,
just because I've thought of it so often since, and
I've you know, I've journaled, and I've done things like that.
It's not been obviously in this sort of structure as
an essay or anything like that, but I think it's
always a little bit therapeutic to take ownership of it.
And I kind of describe it to other people as
(13:46):
it almost happened to someone else, because I'm now someone else.
So when I look back, it's almost it's not dissociation,
but it's not emotional as far as like I'm not
I'm not emotionally affected by telling it. I'm empowered by
telling it because I remember what I've gone through and
who I am now, and I don't remember that girl
that left because she was just such a different version
(14:09):
of me. But I was not fully destroyed. And that's
something I hope people remember, is even if it's you know,
day one, you just left yesterday, you will become something else,
I promise.
Speaker 1 (14:28):
Thank you so much for listening, and thank you to
the incredible listeners who wrote in to share their essays
on the theme of resilience. We were so moved by
your submissions that were bringing you more of these listener
essays and our next theme will be the moment everything changed.
Set the scene, take us back to that memory. Describe
the feelings and thoughts you had in the moment when
(14:49):
everything changed for you. The limit is a thousand words.
If your story stands out, it might be featured in
a bonus episode. Please save your submission as a PDF
an email to Betrayalpod at gmail dot com. If you
would like to reach out to the Betrayal team or
(15:10):
want to tell us your Betrayal story, email us at
Betrayal pod at gmail dot com. That's Betrayal Pod at
gmail dot com.
Speaker 2 (15:19):
We're grateful for your support.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
One way to show support is by subscribing to our
show on Apple Podcasts, and don't forget to rate and
review Betrayal. Five star reviews go.
Speaker 2 (15:28):
A long way. A big thank you to all of
our listeners.
Speaker 1 (15:32):
Betrayal is a production of Glass Podcasts, a division of
Glass Entertainment Group and partnership with iHeart Podcasts. The show
is executive produced by Nancy Glass and Jennifer Fason, hosted
and produced by me Andrea Gunning, Written and produced by
Monique Leboard, also produced by Ben Fetterman. Associate producers are
Christin Melcuriy and Caitlin Golden. Our iHeart team is Ali
(15:55):
Perry and Jessica Krincheck. Audio editing and mixing by mattelv Yo,
additional editing support.
Speaker 2 (16:02):
From Tanner Robbins.
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Betrayal's theme composed by Oliver Bain's music library provided by.
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My Music and. For more podcasts from iHeart
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Visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get
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Host
Andrea Gunning
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