April 24, 2025 • 34 mins
Yooooo you're having an acid flashback!!! Take a listen to the queen of roasts, Nikki Glaser about imposter syndrome, fainting on stage, and much much more.
Enjoyyyyy
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
What up a pterochondrey and guess what, You're having an
acid flashback. That's right, you're flashing back right now to
a favorite past episode of Bombing. This one's with my
friend Nikki Glazer, who's absolutely crushing.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
It this year.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
But you know what, a lot of people are saying,
she would have never hosted the Golden Globes if she.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Hadn't gone on my podcast first.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
I'm taking all the credit, honey, she's even saying that.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Take a listen. The acid flashback starts.
Speaker 3 (00:22):
Now, boy with aery codre.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
Do you know the premise of this podcast is called Bombing?
Speaker 4 (00:34):
Yeah, I do. I've thought about some bombs and I.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
Just want to know what the worst bomb you've ever
had is.
Speaker 4 (00:40):
I think I black out. Really bad things happened.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
To me, but black it back in, girl, white it
in okay.
Speaker 4 (00:44):
But the worst time I've fainted on stage was probably
the biggest I've ever bombed.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
You fainted on stage live? That's my worst nightmare.
Speaker 4 (00:53):
It was the first time I ever fainted. I didn't
even know it could be a thing that I would
ever happen to me, and it was. It was so.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
Bad what happened. I was doing a gig.
Speaker 4 (01:03):
It was two thousand and seven. It was right before
the Montreal Comedy Festival, right before that week, and I
had got New Faces, which is a thing that's like
welcome to the industry. It's Nicky Glazer and it's like
you're being presented. It's so much pressure going to Montreal
to get flown out there. It's like you're you really
feel like it's just like star search. Moment, you're one chance,
(01:24):
you're one shot.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
They fly you out spirit air, middle seat, connecting plates.
Speaker 4 (01:28):
Yeah, they give you no predamn it's and then you
do one five minutes set, so.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
You had to pay for your own hotel.
Speaker 4 (01:35):
I think you actually did at some point. You to
go and you do five minutes on a packed show
with fifteen other people and Tom Pop is hosted, and
you go out into a crowd of French people in
the industry and they're not great, and the room is
big and echoing, weird, and I was too young. The
(01:56):
thing is, you want to be old in your class
of new Faces.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
What year do you go? I didn't even think about that.
Speaker 4 (02:02):
You want to be the best, and whoever's the best
is usually the oldest. What you don't want to be
the old old man that is, like we have one novels,
like sixty year old man. But you want to be
the person who's been doing stand up the longest relatively.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
Yeah, I didn't think about that. Maybe I went too early.
Speaker 4 (02:15):
A lot of us did.
Speaker 5 (02:16):
I did Aspen Comedy Festival. H okay, hbo Aspen Company
Festival in two thousand and six. I'd been doing comedy
for three years.
Speaker 4 (02:26):
Oh wow, wait, so that you did?
Speaker 2 (02:28):
Not?
Speaker 4 (02:28):
That did not pop you.
Speaker 5 (02:29):
I'm still working a temp job and waiting tables.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
It helped, it did help. I got an agent out
of them.
Speaker 4 (02:37):
Oh that's good.
Speaker 5 (02:38):
Yeah, I got an agent out of it. It was
the first time I got like representation.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
But I did. I wasn't making cuckoo books at all.
Speaker 4 (02:44):
You didn't sign any deals?
Speaker 2 (02:46):
Did not sign any deals? No, so wait, what did you?
How did you faint?
Speaker 4 (02:49):
So weeks leading up to this, I was so nervous,
so I was having like a raging eating disorder. I
was like not eating all day, and then I was
like running after work, and I was temping out of jobs,
and I was falling asleep constantly because I was so malnourished,
and I was smoking so much weed, and just like
literally my diet was like weed and like a froyo
every day. And then sometimes I'd let myself eat a
full meal if I was getting it for free, because
(03:10):
I was doing a show where they give you a meal,
and that would be by my one, like I'm gonna
go bananas because it's free. So I was doing Hennesses,
which is a restaurant in Dana Point, which is like
in the OC, and I had drove there after work.
I also had run after work and smoked weed right
before I left. So I drive down there. I haven't
eaten all day. You're wild, wild, out of control, trying
(03:32):
to have so much control, thinking I'm killing it. Days
I did, but I hadn't drink. I wasn't planning on drinking.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
Then.
Speaker 4 (03:39):
I think when I was in control phases of like
I gotta lock it in. I'm doing Montreal, I would
like lessen the drinking, weed, smoke, more diet, like control,
control and so, and I think drinking was like that
will make me fat. So I was just like I
thought being skinny enough was gonna get me something there
or make me funnier. I don't know what the fuck.
So I got to the show and I was I
(04:00):
was like, I knew that I was feeling weak, and
I was like, I need to order. So I ordered
right away and they go, you can go up next,
and I was like, I really need to eat something,
and They're like, just go up next and then your food.
I'll be ready when you're done. I was like, okay,
So I go up and right when I'm up there,
I start to kind of feel like, oh God, but
I don't know the feeling, and I'm kind of having
cognitive issues for the first time I think ever, maybe
(04:21):
where like you can't think of what you're saying, and
you don't at first, you start panicking because you're like,
why am I not thinking what I'm saying? So then
you can't think of what you're saying because you're panicking
about you's not thinking so it and then the tunnel
vision started and that's when I was like, oh, oh,
systems are shutting down. And I just said to the
front row, I was like, I think I'm gonna faint,
and I go, is that is that awkward? And then
(04:43):
this woman just goes yeah, and I was like it
is and then I just boomed. And then I had
a dream that I was in the ocean and that
I was like washing up on the shore. But it
was like me like falling against this like fucking railing
that was behind me because there was nothing else. And
then it was the guys like coming up to catch
me because I was like just crumpled on stage. And
then I had a dream after the waves crashing, which
(05:04):
lasted a really long time. I had a dream that
I fainted on stage and I was like, that's embarrassing.
And then you know when you wake up from a
dream and you're like, thank God, that didn't happen, like
you're like yes, So I just I had that moment
of like, oh I got it in fade on stage,
and then I woke up and I'm like, oh, it's real,
And it was like the worst realization.
Speaker 3 (05:22):
It was.
Speaker 4 (05:22):
I've never had it where you think a nightmare is
a nightmareage and then it turns into real. It was
the first time, and I was it was so embarrassing.
The room was dead quiet. I think I woke up
from like the quiet, and I was like murmuring I
was diabetic into the microphone because I think and I'm
not I think I just wanted to generate some kind
of excuse that wasn't like my manner exic, you know,
(05:45):
like I just think that my brain was trying. So
they were all like, you're diabetic. I'm like what, No,
And then I ran into the bathroom because I was
so embarrassed, and I'm in the stall and I'm just like,
it's right off the stage and there's like hundreds of
people in this room. This is a big and they're
all eating dinner. They're all eating like they're shrink platters,
and it's dead silent on stage, and I'm in this
stoll and I'm by myself. No one's else is in there,
(06:05):
and I was just like, my life is over. Like
for some reason, I thought this would get out and
people would be like she's a liability, and it was
just felt it was wrapped up in my eating disorder
at the time too. Like fainting is like really like
I had been anarexic for so many years and never
fainted and kind of prided myself on it because that's
when people are like, you need help, you're fainting, and
I like never got to that level. So this is
the first time that I was like, oh god, my
(06:25):
disease is like ruining my life and making it so
I can't stand up like this is embarrassing, so I
would then I was in. Then I got surge of anger,
anger because I was so embarrassed, you know, like that
Dane Cook joke of like when you trip and you're
like what the fuck with like the side where you
get like mad at whatever's behind you, but you're really
just so embarrassed.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (06:44):
So then I just was like filled with anger because
I was just like, so fuck, it's too many feelings.
And I burst out the doors of the women's room
when I go fuck to this room of people that
are just like sitting there with it waiting for me
to come out.
Speaker 2 (06:59):
Because the worry I didn't end.
Speaker 4 (07:01):
And then I shot straight to the right and I
went into the kitchen to be like I ate my block.
Like I was just like crazy yelling I'm not this
type of person. But it was just an overwhelming I've
never felt so embarrassed. I've never had something happen to
me like that. I came to my senses inside I'm
like stuffing bread into my face in the kitchen and
(07:22):
then I'm like, oh my god, there's only one way
out of this kitchen, I gotta go back through. And
I was so already like calmed down to feel like
that was really embarrassing. How I like just that it happened,
but also how I responded like this is awful. And
so then I just sheepishly walked out of the room
and everyone like applauded, and I was like, oh my god,
(07:44):
and now I'm getting credit for like we're walking. This
was so embarrassing, and then I had to convince them
all I was okay to drive home. I'm like, no,
I swear, but I couldn't say what it was. I
was like, it is because I didn't eat all day,
Like I was just too embarrassed of it. But yeah,
and then that has happened to me one other time,
but I knew I like took an edible once in Montreal, actually,
but years and years later, and it hadn't had nothing
(08:06):
to do with my diet, but like an edible kicked
in as I was on stage because the show was
earlier than I thought, and I wanted to kick in
when I was on a treadmill, but instead I missed.
I think called me while I was on a treadmill
and where like you're up next, I'm like, what the fuck?
So I ran over to the theater and I was like,
I didn't eat again. I didn't eat and i'd you know,
a snack beforehand, and the edible kicked on in stage
(08:26):
and I was just like on stage and I go,
I think I'm gonna faint, so I'm gonna hold onto
the stool. I'm gonna be right back, but I do
need the house to come back. And I'm like not
really making sense, and Robert Kelly is downstairs after he
just brought me on stage. He's downstairs taking a shit
in the bowels of this like punting sens of this
like castle, you know, like Saint Kathleen or whatever it is.
So he was like midship and everyone's like, you're gonna
(08:48):
go back to the health scairs.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
She's could go faint.
Speaker 4 (08:51):
Then I walked off stage and I just chugged a coke.
That was easier because I was just like, I've been
through this before, this happens and it didn't. But just
totally fainting is was the It was worst moment of
my life.
Speaker 5 (09:00):
I think that's one is that when you started getting
help for your eating disorder, no you kept going yeah,
like because it wasn't rock bottom, I can go farther deeper.
Speaker 4 (09:12):
There wasn't time to hit rock bottom because I had
to go to Montreal Comedy Festival. I'm not going to
start like going to meetings right on that or whatever I.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
Needed to mean, like around that time where you like, oh,
you know.
Speaker 4 (09:21):
No, because it was off and on, Like mine would
just always switch. I'd go from like starving myself to
overexercising to then binging to throwing up to so it
just would like change, it would morph getting Actually, I
got actual help when I was really really sick and
almost died. Like that was years prior, when I was
nineteen twenty. I like really got out of the phases
where it was gonna kill me and then I which
(09:43):
is so great.
Speaker 2 (09:43):
It was like your hair falling out and stuff.
Speaker 4 (09:45):
Oh yeah, like I was hospitalized and stuff.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
It was.
Speaker 4 (09:47):
It was gnarly. I was gonna die.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
I didn't know it is that bad.
Speaker 4 (09:49):
Yeah, it was so bad, but I got out of
it and then I started doing stand up and work kind.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
Of bumming me out. I'm gonna be honest with you,
like I'm sorry, do you have any idea what I'm
going through right now.
Speaker 4 (09:58):
This has always happened to me when I start telling
my truth. My whole life is just me trying to
tell people this, and I'm just being like I was
having a really good day and I'm just trying to
keep it high vibes.
Speaker 2 (10:12):
I'm like, you wanted to know that's hard core. I
didn't know it was like hardcore like that.
Speaker 4 (10:18):
Yeah, dude, I got out of like I'm not going
to die from this so I can still do comedy,
because I cared enough about comedy that I was like,
I don't want to die from this. Before I was
like please kill me.
Speaker 2 (10:25):
This is hell.
Speaker 4 (10:25):
As I couldn't eat.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
Where did that come from?
Speaker 4 (10:28):
You know, being insecure, being a perfectionist OCD, losing a
friend of suicide in high school, Oh you didn't, being
scared to leave home, around college, not feeling like I
had any talent, not being able to pursue like it
was just stemmed from a lot of things of like
I need control in my life, and so it just
showed up in that way of like, oh, I'll just
(10:48):
be the best at not eating, and I really was.
I was quite good at it.
Speaker 2 (10:51):
Were you so tired and weak and angry?
Speaker 4 (10:53):
Oh, dude, it sucks so much. Whenever anyone sees someone
that is anarexic, please have a little compassion them. And
I know it's like so confusing because you're like, eat something.
All I can tell you is they can't. It doesn't
make sense. And I still don't think it makes sense.
When I see people that are that thin. I'm literally
like the same person I used to hate when they
would say it to me and like eat a cheeseburger.
But it's out of your control, and they're cold and
(11:17):
they're hungry, and you know how you get like a
little bit, you get hangry like Snickers commercials, picture that
all the time, NonStop, and it's never gonna end because
you're never gonna eat again. And you know that, and
so you're in for a lifetime of suffering. There is
no exit.
Speaker 3 (11:30):
How do you.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
Survive like that?
Speaker 4 (11:32):
It's like, it sucks, dude.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
You need nutrients, Your cells need nutrients.
Speaker 4 (11:37):
Oh and I was I don't know. Yeah, it shocks me.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
Now.
Speaker 4 (11:41):
Now I'm in a part of my recovery. It's not
like perfect, but I thank god. I'm in a phase
of like I never get to starve, so if I'm
hungry I like have to eat. I don't get to like,
I don't get to answer that little part of my
brain where it's like, this feels pretty good. You're not
eating right now and you're getting that lightheaded feeling and
that feels that you're using weight, Like I don't get
to chase that anymore. So that's like my rule for myself.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
What do you do intuitive? Whatever's intuitive?
Speaker 4 (12:06):
Yeah, because that but that leads to you being like
I only need to once a day and give an
anorexic I, you know, intermittent fasting diet and she will
run with it until it's anarexia.
Speaker 3 (12:17):
Sure.
Speaker 4 (12:18):
Yeah, because that's what I loved. When intermittent fasting came out.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
I was like, I'm like, never inrexia is back.
Speaker 4 (12:24):
I mean I could be airexic again. Yeah, it's back, baby,
And now it's got a name, and Joe Rogan's talking
about it and everyone who's anyone knows that this is
like you know, Tim Ferriss, this is the what wait
he's telling us to do. So it felt I got
back into it in like twenty twenty and then I
got out of it again, but it always comes back.
But yeah, that was I think in terms of bombing.
That just that's the most uncomfortable I've ever been on stage,
(12:46):
and I felt really just bad.
Speaker 3 (12:52):
With a redre with a recondre.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
What's the most wasted you've ever been on stage?
Speaker 3 (13:07):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (13:07):
Man, that's a really good question.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
Have you been wasted on stage? Yeah? For sure? Like
what stone drunk?
Speaker 4 (13:13):
What drunk? I used to I quit drinking when I
was twenty seven, but before then I would get pretty
damn wasted and not really ever on stage.
Speaker 2 (13:21):
I remember we used to call you wasted, Nikki.
Speaker 4 (13:23):
No, did you really?
Speaker 3 (13:25):
No?
Speaker 2 (13:25):
No, I'm not.
Speaker 4 (13:27):
Even kidding you. I like, that's why I quit drinking.
And I'm like, this is not a good look. And
people will start talking about how you're no fun to
be around, or you're like obnoxious, or you make you
make too many friends and you like make too many
promises and you're too fun.
Speaker 2 (13:40):
When were you like trash hold on stage?
Speaker 4 (13:42):
I don't think on stage I can remember because I
used to get blackout drunk, you know, so it's like
I don't even know that i'd remember it if if
I were. I think that there have been times that
I'm like so high on stage, but that's always like
pretty fun and in like a challenge.
Speaker 5 (13:55):
So all the blackouts, you don't remember any of them?
Do you remember being super Stone on stage?
Speaker 3 (14:00):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (14:01):
Yeah, definitely Stone. But I think stoned is like I
don't get anxious from doing stand up anymore. So sometimes
I smoke a little weed beforehand, because I like, I
think the feeling of anxiety of being like I'm nervous
about this performance like makes me a better comedian and
a better performer because I care. So sometimes I smoke
a little weed so that I get like, oh, what
if something happens. It feels like I'm kind of walking
(14:22):
on a tight rope out there, and like whoa, I'm
like controlling this train of thought, which is like you're
so high right now, and I have to do this
train of thought which is like what are you gonna
say next? And then also like what am I saying
right now? And it feels like I'm like an acrobat,
like I feel I feel alive. When I feel like
I'm shoplifting or something, it feels like I'm getting away
with something.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
Have you ever like done like a fucking hundred milligram
chocolate chip cookie or something?
Speaker 3 (14:47):
Stage? I?
Speaker 4 (14:48):
Oh, fuck man, No, My biggest fear is being out
of control in front of people, like anyone witnessing. That's
why fainting was so awful. So I would never do that.
Speaker 2 (15:00):
Like when Fergie Peter pants, Oh my god, dude.
Speaker 4 (15:04):
I wouldn't mind that. There's been times on stage where
I've almost had like, okay, so women when we're on
our period, like sometimes you just start it or you
in the middle that you run out of tampons, and
so you make a pad with like you roll up
toilet paper around your hand and you make like a
makeshift pad with toilet paper that will soak enough of it,
like unless you're like, you know, hemorrhaging. This is disgusting,
(15:25):
So I know, I'm so sorry, and so you put
it in your underwear. But one time I was on
stage and it was I was just wearing a song,
so it's just like a little string and it's not
like a whole underwear thing holding it in, and it
was starting to fall out and like unripe, like a
bloody tpeing coming yeah on stage, But I caught it
in my thighs. I closed them shut and was able
(15:47):
to like wiggle and walk up stage. So that has
happened where I've and I've been like, what would I
fucking say? What would I do?
Speaker 2 (15:53):
I don't even know? But you should have just let
it drop and been like, who wants some vampire tea?
Speaker 4 (15:59):
I think I would. I think I would relad into
it now, But at the time it was like the
most mortifying thing that could ever happen. Now, I don't
care if my string's hanging out, It's like who who cares?
Speaker 3 (16:12):
Who cares?
Speaker 4 (16:12):
As one's like your tampon string, It's like, oh, so
I use a tampon, Like it doesn't I don't. I
don't want to say, like panty lines, people are like
your panty lines showing It's like, yeah, I don't want
to get shit on this pair of pants. I want
or I don't want to, Like is that true?
Speaker 2 (16:26):
Like panty lines are shit, but like I.
Speaker 4 (16:29):
Don't want to get like pussy juice on my pants,
So I'm wearing underwear like most people do. What is
the crime?
Speaker 2 (16:36):
Are panty lines like taboo or something?
Speaker 4 (16:38):
Yeah, pant That's why girls wear thongs because you don't
want to see like it's slicing your butt cheek in half,
and it kind of makes like for a bet, you know,
it's better just like look like you're like I could
be wearing nothing under this, and so we wear these
uncomfortable thongs, which I'm getting used to now. It's like flossing,
like you have to get calloused a little bit.
Speaker 2 (16:53):
That's like girls make rules to themselves. I don't know,
do guys notice that? Is that?
Speaker 3 (16:57):
For?
Speaker 4 (16:57):
No, they don't. They don't give a fuck about a
panty line. I mean, I think it does look more
aesthetically pleasing in general, like it's kind of a subconscious thing.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
But I don't think generally you guys don't notice anything.
Guys are like I want beef, stood you really don't.
Did you see Fast the Furious seventy five the car
went room room when the other car went do we
We're not like pantylin gross.
Speaker 4 (17:24):
You don't care about our nails. It's like that's the thing.
It's so funny.
Speaker 2 (17:27):
No, we're like huh. We're like, I hope you play
with my wiener later.
Speaker 4 (17:33):
But some guys are like feet guys, so then you
have to manicure if they're like looking at your feet
extra hard.
Speaker 5 (17:38):
Like one percent of guys their feet guys. Yeah, I know,
so Quentin Tarantino and Nick Cannon, and that's it. I'm
not I'm not paying attention a girl of chicken feet.
I wouldn't even know.
Speaker 2 (17:49):
Wow, okay, I'd be like, do you like me? Can
we kiss on the lips?
Speaker 4 (17:56):
In relationships? Would that be a thing that girls would get? Maddy,
you about like you don't have attention to detail? Would they?
Has that ever been a complaint for you in a relationship?
Speaker 5 (18:05):
Probably of one of fucking one of five thousand. I
won French fries with my beef stew.
Speaker 4 (18:16):
Yeah, you guys are simpler. It must be nice.
Speaker 3 (18:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (18:20):
I'm at the age now where my horniness, my hungriness,
and my sleepiness are all equal.
Speaker 5 (18:27):
So if I'm like not getting laid, I'm like, well,
I'm getting French fries and I'm getting eight hours of sleep.
Hell yeah, right, that's like as sick as like getting
laid to me, Like, dude, I got eight hours of
sleep in my twenties, Dude, I got laid last night.
Now I'm forty, I'm like, dude, I got eight hours.
Speaker 3 (18:43):
Of sleep last night.
Speaker 4 (18:44):
That's so funny. You got to do that as a bit.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
Write that down, dude, I had French fries.
Speaker 3 (18:49):
Last night.
Speaker 2 (18:49):
Oh helly. My friends are like, are you for real? Like,
hell yeah, I'm.
Speaker 4 (18:53):
In a relationship and I will there will be a
moment in the evening where you choose food or fucking
like it's gonna go either way.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
It can't be both, dude, I'll be honest. I think
my test house roone is going down because you have food.
Speaker 3 (19:05):
Is bitch.
Speaker 4 (19:05):
I always use food. Not only have I chosen food
and turned down the thing that's free right in front
of me. I've paid eighty dollars to have this food
delivered to me and driven across town, Like I waste
money on the thing that I'm choosing over the freezing
in front of me. It's crazy because it's food is
so fucking good. But then yeah, you get too full
(19:26):
the fuck TFTF.
Speaker 2 (19:27):
Yeah, God, I have a story. I'll tell you. I
have a story.
Speaker 3 (19:30):
I'll tell you.
Speaker 2 (19:31):
I'll find that is too hot for TV. That's a
perfect way. I was about to have like the sex
of my life, but I ordered a fried chicken sagwich,
first ate it, and then passed out before before No, okay,
I'll just tell it. I was about to have group sex,
and I've never had group sex, and I was like,
it is on. I was like dating this girl that
(19:51):
was particularly freaky, and like, right before the other two
gals came over, we ordered fried chicken sandwiches. We ate
the fried chicken sandwiches, both passed out and like, I
woke up the next morning to like fifty five missed
calls and I was like, I just missed out on
the best sexual potentially the best.
Speaker 6 (20:11):
Sexual experience of my life because I hate like half
a sandwich and passed out drunk. It was like I
was like, and I was like, and it will never
come back again. I was like, I'll never be.
Speaker 4 (20:22):
No, maybe, but I don't think it was meant to be.
If that really mattered to you, you would not have
chosen sleep and food were you so drunk and tired.
Speaker 5 (20:30):
I was drunk, going through a breakup, hooked up, and
I like got back with this.
Speaker 4 (20:37):
Gal that you would have caught AIDS that night. This
is all meant to be. I'm serious, Let's just think
of it that way. I was like, tying one had
not to be judgmental of anyone with AIDS. Everyone wants
it and it's fine to be to have it, but
what's cool with it? I'm just trying to be accepting
(20:59):
of those with AIDS. Lets thing, we all we all
are cool with you having AIDS and we wanted to,
but yeah, we do try to avoid it normally. That's
I think that's meant to be. But you'll have group
sex again.
Speaker 3 (21:11):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (21:12):
I think that was a sign.
Speaker 4 (21:13):
Yeah, maybe it wasn't a thing you should do that
you need to have an life.
Speaker 3 (21:16):
It was like on.
Speaker 2 (21:17):
I was like, it's on, And the gal I was
with was like, hell yeah, she was like wilder than me?
Speaker 4 (21:23):
Did your relationship last long? After? That?
Speaker 3 (21:26):
Was that?
Speaker 4 (21:26):
Like a good relationships?
Speaker 2 (21:27):
I was getting out of what I was like, Oh,
the girl that you were with though, Like that gal
I was with that night was like a gal I
hooked up with before I dated the gal that grew
up in my face. So I was like, I'm going
back to her.
Speaker 5 (21:38):
Because you were a dick to me, and like oh yeah,
and we're going we're having a wild hair up our.
Speaker 2 (21:44):
Ass kind of night and and uh and then I
ate half a sandwich.
Speaker 4 (21:49):
God, those two girls were coming over to fuck you guys?
How did you find them? How did you know they
were down?
Speaker 3 (21:54):
Like?
Speaker 4 (21:54):
How does this all get organized.
Speaker 2 (21:56):
You know what we have to break for commercial?
Speaker 4 (21:59):
Real quick, guy, that's really coincidental.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
Yeah, I've never brought for commercial either. I just usually
record through.
Speaker 4 (22:11):
I just want to know how you organize one. It
just sounds fun.
Speaker 2 (22:14):
Well there's clubs, well, of course.
Speaker 4 (22:16):
There's clubs fet life, and there's thrinder.
Speaker 2 (22:20):
Well there's clubs called strip clubs.
Speaker 4 (22:22):
Oh dull okay, that's that would be my first guess. Actually,
if I would have thought even for a second. Yeah,
I love strip clubs.
Speaker 2 (22:29):
This is why I didn't want to poison your virgineers.
Speaker 4 (22:31):
With my You want to hear what I did. This
is one of the coolest things I've ever done because
I love strippers. But I don't like going to strippers
strip clubs because I don't want like them to like
try to flirt with me. Like I don't like when
it's like, oh, she's like everyone's gonna watch them be lesbians.
I like don't like I want to be like in
control of it. I don't want to be like the
person in the chair.
Speaker 2 (22:48):
Yeah, I don't like it. It is my birthday.
Speaker 4 (22:52):
Yeah, I wish I could be like invisible strip clubs
because I like watching guys become that kind of like
they're kind of stupid and these women are all like
walk round powerfully. But my boyfriend was in London and
I was not gonna be able to see him for
his birthday, and it was like kind of a bummer
because I had to get surgery and so it was
just like I just can't be there. It's gonna be fun,
You're gonna go out with your friends, but I wish
(23:13):
I could be there and that. What he didn't know
was I was gonna plan it and I was having
surgery soon after that, but I was going to just
come in for twelve hours and leave the next.
Speaker 2 (23:21):
Day, and we're getting surgery in London.
Speaker 4 (23:23):
No, I was getting surgery in Boston. So that's why
I couldn't go to London. It was like, this was
on a Monday night and I was getting surgery on Thursday.
So I was like, I just can't make it, babe,
I'm so sorry. But then I decided to go to London.
I talked to his friends, I told that he was
with and I was like, Okay, I am coming to town.
Bring him to a strip club, get him a lap dance,
and then I'm gonna come out dress as a stripper
in this dark room and like surprise him tight and
(23:45):
is so good right, so be cause I like when
he goes to strip clubs, Like I kind of been
into that kind of thing, so I was like, this
will be perfect, and I know he likes them. So
they went and got him and brought him to one
and I went. I flew to London that day and
like went to Zara and got like this stripperiest outfit,
which you can surprisingly find at Zara, a pretty good
stripper outfit.
Speaker 2 (24:03):
Tell me something I don't know, honey, and then got
a wit.
Speaker 4 (24:06):
I had already bought a wig, and I went and
I went in there early and met with some strippers
to like tell them the plan, and they were like, okay,
we'll get them. And I didn't know this in London
that lap dances they can't touch you, so you just
get a room with someone and then they just like
dance in front of you, which is like who would
pay for that.
Speaker 5 (24:24):
Constitution's legal in it and the strippers can't touch you.
The cat then you can pay a woman to have
sex with you.
Speaker 4 (24:31):
Yeah, I mean it seemed to be on that, you know,
that kind of system. But they were very adamant, like
we can't touch them, which bummed me out because I
wanted to walk in while he's like getting a lap
dance from these girls and be like I'm gonna come
in now, you know, like and just be a sassy
stripper to be like get off ladies, and then it's
his girlfriend. It'll be fun. But they're just like dancing
in front of them and they come to get me,
and then I walk into the room that he's in
(24:51):
with these two girls and they're like, here's our friend,
and he like gets up to like shake my hand.
It was really nice. It was like beg it to
be the way that you would want your boyfriend to
greet a stripper.
Speaker 2 (25:03):
Yeah, yeah, passed. He passed the test.
Speaker 4 (25:04):
He was like, hey, I'm Chris, nice to meet you,
and I go I'm nicky, and he was just like
what the fuck? And I was topless too, because I
wasn't gonna be topless because I was like, I don't
want to be topless around other people. But both the
strippers were topless, so right before I went in, I
was like, I'm just gonna like commit to this. So
it was really fun that I got to be a
stripper for a little bit. But as soon as I
got up.
Speaker 2 (25:23):
To him, then his wife came in and you were like,
who is this.
Speaker 4 (25:29):
As soon as I touched him, though, the security guards
were like, get off him because they thought I was
a real stripper. So it was pretty flattered.
Speaker 2 (25:35):
Wow, congrats, thanks.
Speaker 4 (25:37):
I was like, yeah, I got it, and then we
then we got out of there, but it was it
was really fun. But I love strip clubs and have
no problem with you going there, and and and uh,
I think it's cool too.
Speaker 2 (25:48):
Yeah, yeah, I feels are fun. I felt particularly shy
and vulnerable. It's telling such a front of my co workers.
Speaker 4 (25:58):
Oh yeah, that that could be it. That's always the
thing about podcasts is like if we're having a conversation
that we would have if we were alone, but there's
right now four other people just listening quietly. So it
just like if we were just thinking of an audience,
we maybe wouldn't care, but like just having one person
be there's a couple of people in the same I'm
alone in my room, thank god, but like I know
(26:19):
that on zoom and like in your room, there's there's
other people there.
Speaker 2 (26:22):
I'm like in an office right now, you know what
I mean, Like, I'm.
Speaker 4 (26:24):
Like, it's so weird. Yes, okay, well thank you for sharing.
Speaker 3 (26:28):
That with us.
Speaker 2 (26:29):
Four I mean yeah, Also, the end of the story
just be like taking a nap.
Speaker 5 (26:34):
It's at the end of the story was like, hell yeah,
I got fucking lame, like hardcore.
Speaker 2 (26:39):
I gizzed everywhere. Then you'd be like, ah, geez. But
the end of the stories, I hate a sandwich and
I took an eight hour nap. It's like super perfectly lame.
I was trying to be like, I.
Speaker 4 (26:53):
Don't know, you were so almost cool.
Speaker 2 (26:56):
Yeah, I was so almost cool and I was close lame,
middle aged man.
Speaker 3 (27:05):
With Aridrey.
Speaker 5 (27:16):
With Aridrey, what's the worst bomb you've ever seen that
you would you didn't experience personally?
Speaker 4 (27:21):
But okay, can I just I'm not gonna name names,
but I saw one name names you can I saw
one recently, dude. It was so funny because I had
never seen this guy before.
Speaker 2 (27:31):
We can also bleep the name.
Speaker 4 (27:32):
Well, I saw this guy. I don't think we need
to say his name, because it honestly doesn't. It's not
a no. I didn't know how popular this guy was
when I saw him. I never seen him before, but
he's a big deal and he's more of like a
TikTok guy. But it's not Matt Ryf either.
Speaker 2 (27:48):
Can you text me after this?
Speaker 4 (27:49):
Yeah, I'll tell you exactly. It's not even going to
be that exciting because you'll be able to see what
I'm talking about almost ammediately.
Speaker 2 (27:54):
I'll cut it out. Just tell me now.
Speaker 3 (27:56):
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (27:57):
Exactly, but he's a bit like he's got a lot
of followers. He's got like he sells out theaters, like
he does well for himself, and he's like, I didn't
know he was a big deal. He's actually really nice.
But I went up. I was at the lat Factory
one night not that long ago, and he no one
in the crowd really knew of his fame and is
he just was bombing so badly, and there was a
guy that was heckling him, and because he's a crowd
work guy and so that's his bread and butter, but
(28:18):
he just lost, like he couldn't handle this guy. That
was just I forget, I really forget the context of it.
But it was so hard to watch and so uncomfortable
to be in the room with, Like it was a massive,
massive bomb for very for a very long time he
which seemed very shaken by it. He couldn't keep he
couldn't get it back up, and I got the impression that,
(28:39):
you know, the other comics in the room it meant
something to him that we were witnessing this, And I
felt really bad. I almost wanted to leave because I
just didn't want him to know that I knew that
he like sucked because the first time I'm seeing him,
so I just think this guy sucks. Right, turns out
he's like very good at crowd work, and it's which
I do think is a talent that I don't have.
But this was just an offset for him.
Speaker 5 (28:56):
This crowd work now the cool thing because when we
were coming up, like I would do crowd work and
people and people will be like, don't do crowd work.
Speaker 2 (29:03):
Crowd work's easy, you're not allow It was like, you're
not allowed to do crowd work.
Speaker 4 (29:06):
Since when is something that's branded easy, Like not anything
that's easy, people go you can't do it. It's like,
actually it works, though it sorry comes easy to me,
Like I don't. It doesn't come easy to me. Crowd
work to me is like very scary and difficult. I
don't even do it. So I think when it's done well,
it's really impressive. I think when it's like worthless clips
on Instagram.
Speaker 2 (29:26):
I'm so discouraged. I remember Yea was relag.
Speaker 4 (29:30):
Because people were threatened by it, because it's it's I
think people that are I'm a joke writer, they're like,
I don't really, I'm not good off the cuff, and
I'm speaking for me. We're like, we want to make
you feel bad about this thing that you do well,
and so we're like, if you do that, you're a
hack because we can't do it and where you must
write a joke and prepare. So I think that's where
it comes from. But now it's more acceptable as it
(29:51):
should be. I think it's a cool talent.
Speaker 2 (29:53):
I think it's cool too. I always thought it was cool.
I was like, why not, why not be.
Speaker 4 (29:56):
Spentatous and Sadius is fucking love it.
Speaker 2 (29:58):
It works, gives a fuck.
Speaker 4 (30:00):
But if something's easy, people go it's not real stand
up like talking about sex too much. It's too easy.
It's like, is that easy?
Speaker 2 (30:07):
I never thought it was easy. Yeah, it's not easy.
I never thought it was easy. That's the criticism that
it got.
Speaker 4 (30:13):
You're right, that is it. Let's make it clear. It's
not easy.
Speaker 2 (30:16):
It's not easy, but people say it is.
Speaker 4 (30:18):
And that's what I say about when people brand a
lot of comedians as sex comics, like myself of like
all they talk about sex or like they're just raunchy.
And I think people think you do it because it's easy,
and it is easy for me to talk about my
sex life and make fun of it. But I don't
think it's easy for most people. And I do think
that is therein is some kind of talent whether I you.
Speaker 2 (30:39):
Know, nothing's easy, nothing's easy.
Speaker 4 (30:41):
Comedy is hard, but people like to say things are
easy because they can't do it. And it's like, maybe
you're not a dirty comic because you don't have the
balls to be one. Maybe not because it's so easy
to be a dirty comic. Maybe it easy. You're not
one because it's not easy for you, whereas being a
clean comic is not easy for me, but just because
it's easy. I don't want to watch people I like
do things that are hard for them. I don't want
(31:01):
to watch Jerry Seinfeld play the Obo like just because
that would be hard for him. I'm not like, wow,
like doing comedy is easy for him. It takes a
lot of work, But like, why does everyone we always
want to see someone doing something that's so hard, you know.
Speaker 2 (31:14):
Like I don't know.
Speaker 4 (31:15):
That's what bugs me when people say it's easy for her.
It's like, yeah, that's me because I'm inclined to do
this thing. That's you know, I'm going in the direction
of what my personality is, Like I talk about sex.
But so I saw this guy bomb, yeah, and I
think it was really good because he'll never be impressive
to me after seeing that, Like he will never I
will never have I will never respect him.
Speaker 3 (31:36):
Why is that good?
Speaker 4 (31:37):
Because I think sometimes when it's not like I will
ever I respect him him. I'll never be intimidated by
him because I've seen him faint essentially, you know what
I mean. Like he'll never be able to show boat
around me or act like he's.
Speaker 2 (31:51):
You've seen his human moment.
Speaker 4 (31:52):
Yeah, I know he can suck sometimes.
Speaker 2 (31:54):
So like it like my friend was like, anytime you
want to talk to a hawk girl, just imagine them
taking a shit. We all do it.
Speaker 4 (32:01):
I saw this guy take it dump, and many people
have seen me take it dump, and it's so you
can't get out of your head. But because it was
the first thing I saw of him, it's cemented. It's
kind of like you can't go back to your home
club because you bomb there so much. That's all they
remember you from.
Speaker 2 (32:12):
Yeah, yeah, is being.
Speaker 4 (32:14):
Awkward on stage. So I think that bomb I was like,
I felt bad for him, but it was ever since then,
he's killed, absolutely murdered, like hard to follow murdered. But
I'm always like, no, I saw you fucking so bad
and you have no exit strategy. There was no rescuing you.
It was so bad and I hope that never happens
(32:35):
to me again, but it definitely will. And that's the
part about stand up comedy that's fun.
Speaker 3 (32:41):
I have to go.
Speaker 2 (32:42):
I have to too?
Speaker 4 (32:44):
Is that? Is that the buzzer?
Speaker 2 (32:48):
Uh nik much?
Speaker 4 (32:50):
I love you, Eric, thank you.
Speaker 2 (32:52):
It was so fun to talk when you get out
of the prison that is St.
Speaker 3 (32:57):
Louis.
Speaker 4 (32:57):
I love my mom and dad not gonna do it.
Speaker 2 (33:00):
Please come hang out with me. I would love it,
and let's go watch people bomb.
Speaker 4 (33:05):
We're friends.
Speaker 2 (33:08):
I thought we were friends until you said we're friends.
I just decided that we are.
Speaker 4 (33:14):
You should have questioned it before.
Speaker 1 (33:20):
With a re condre all right, listen up, we got
something special for you. Got a burning story that you're
itching to tell about when you bombed or absolutely failed
in life.
Speaker 2 (33:29):
Now's your chance to tell me all about it, Mabel.
Speaker 1 (33:32):
I want to hear your worst, most cringe worthy what
the fuck was I thinking?
Speaker 2 (33:37):
What just happened?
Speaker 3 (33:38):
Moment?
Speaker 1 (33:39):
So pick up your phone and dial seven one six bombing.
That's seven one six two six six twenty four sixty
four and leave me a voicemail and.
Speaker 2 (33:48):
We might just play it on a future episode.
Speaker 1 (33:50):
Bombing with Eric Andre is brought to you by Will
Ferrell's Big Money Players Network and iHeart Podcast. Our executive
producer is Olivia Aguilar. Our producer is Bei Wang. Our
research is and is David Carliner. Our editor and sound
designers Andy Harris, and our art is by Dylan Vanderbergh.
Go rate us five stars and drop a review on
your podcast app a choice
What up a pterochondrey and guess what, You're having an
acid flashback. That's right, you're flashing back right now to
a favorite past episode of Bombing. This one's with my
friend Nikki Glazer, who's absolutely crushing.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
It this year.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
But you know what, a lot of people are saying,
she would have never hosted the Golden Globes if she.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Hadn't gone on my podcast first.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
I'm taking all the credit, honey, she's even saying that.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Take a listen. The acid flashback starts.
Speaker 3 (00:22):
Now, boy with aery codre.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
Do you know the premise of this podcast is called Bombing?
Speaker 4 (00:34):
Yeah, I do. I've thought about some bombs and I.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
Just want to know what the worst bomb you've ever
had is.
Speaker 4 (00:40):
I think I black out. Really bad things happened.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
To me, but black it back in, girl, white it
in okay.
Speaker 4 (00:44):
But the worst time I've fainted on stage was probably
the biggest I've ever bombed.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
You fainted on stage live? That's my worst nightmare.
Speaker 4 (00:53):
It was the first time I ever fainted. I didn't
even know it could be a thing that I would
ever happen to me, and it was. It was so.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
Bad what happened. I was doing a gig.
Speaker 4 (01:03):
It was two thousand and seven. It was right before
the Montreal Comedy Festival, right before that week, and I
had got New Faces, which is a thing that's like
welcome to the industry. It's Nicky Glazer and it's like
you're being presented. It's so much pressure going to Montreal
to get flown out there. It's like you're you really
feel like it's just like star search. Moment, you're one chance,
(01:24):
you're one shot.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
They fly you out spirit air, middle seat, connecting plates.
Speaker 4 (01:28):
Yeah, they give you no predamn it's and then you
do one five minutes set, so.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
You had to pay for your own hotel.
Speaker 4 (01:35):
I think you actually did at some point. You to
go and you do five minutes on a packed show
with fifteen other people and Tom Pop is hosted, and
you go out into a crowd of French people in
the industry and they're not great, and the room is
big and echoing, weird, and I was too young. The
(01:56):
thing is, you want to be old in your class
of new Faces.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
What year do you go? I didn't even think about that.
Speaker 4 (02:02):
You want to be the best, and whoever's the best
is usually the oldest. What you don't want to be
the old old man that is, like we have one novels,
like sixty year old man. But you want to be
the person who's been doing stand up the longest relatively.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
Yeah, I didn't think about that. Maybe I went too early.
Speaker 4 (02:15):
A lot of us did.
Speaker 5 (02:16):
I did Aspen Comedy Festival. H okay, hbo Aspen Company
Festival in two thousand and six. I'd been doing comedy
for three years.
Speaker 4 (02:26):
Oh wow, wait, so that you did?
Speaker 2 (02:28):
Not?
Speaker 4 (02:28):
That did not pop you.
Speaker 5 (02:29):
I'm still working a temp job and waiting tables.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
It helped, it did help. I got an agent out
of them.
Speaker 4 (02:37):
Oh that's good.
Speaker 5 (02:38):
Yeah, I got an agent out of it. It was
the first time I got like representation.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
But I did. I wasn't making cuckoo books at all.
Speaker 4 (02:44):
You didn't sign any deals?
Speaker 2 (02:46):
Did not sign any deals? No, so wait, what did you?
How did you faint?
Speaker 4 (02:49):
So weeks leading up to this, I was so nervous,
so I was having like a raging eating disorder. I
was like not eating all day, and then I was
like running after work, and I was temping out of jobs,
and I was falling asleep constantly because I was so malnourished,
and I was smoking so much weed, and just like
literally my diet was like weed and like a froyo
every day. And then sometimes I'd let myself eat a
full meal if I was getting it for free, because
(03:10):
I was doing a show where they give you a meal,
and that would be by my one, like I'm gonna
go bananas because it's free. So I was doing Hennesses,
which is a restaurant in Dana Point, which is like
in the OC, and I had drove there after work.
I also had run after work and smoked weed right
before I left. So I drive down there. I haven't
eaten all day. You're wild, wild, out of control, trying
(03:32):
to have so much control, thinking I'm killing it. Days
I did, but I hadn't drink. I wasn't planning on drinking.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
Then.
Speaker 4 (03:39):
I think when I was in control phases of like
I gotta lock it in. I'm doing Montreal, I would
like lessen the drinking, weed, smoke, more diet, like control,
control and so, and I think drinking was like that
will make me fat. So I was just like I
thought being skinny enough was gonna get me something there
or make me funnier. I don't know what the fuck.
So I got to the show and I was I
(04:00):
was like, I knew that I was feeling weak, and
I was like, I need to order. So I ordered
right away and they go, you can go up next,
and I was like, I really need to eat something,
and They're like, just go up next and then your food.
I'll be ready when you're done. I was like, okay,
So I go up and right when I'm up there,
I start to kind of feel like, oh God, but
I don't know the feeling, and I'm kind of having
cognitive issues for the first time I think ever, maybe
(04:21):
where like you can't think of what you're saying, and
you don't at first, you start panicking because you're like,
why am I not thinking what I'm saying? So then
you can't think of what you're saying because you're panicking
about you's not thinking so it and then the tunnel
vision started and that's when I was like, oh, oh,
systems are shutting down. And I just said to the
front row, I was like, I think I'm gonna faint,
and I go, is that is that awkward? And then
(04:43):
this woman just goes yeah, and I was like it
is and then I just boomed. And then I had
a dream that I was in the ocean and that
I was like washing up on the shore. But it
was like me like falling against this like fucking railing
that was behind me because there was nothing else. And
then it was the guys like coming up to catch
me because I was like just crumpled on stage. And
then I had a dream after the waves crashing, which
(05:04):
lasted a really long time. I had a dream that
I fainted on stage and I was like, that's embarrassing.
And then you know when you wake up from a
dream and you're like, thank God, that didn't happen, like
you're like yes, So I just I had that moment
of like, oh I got it in fade on stage,
and then I woke up and I'm like, oh, it's real,
And it was like the worst realization.
Speaker 3 (05:22):
It was.
Speaker 4 (05:22):
I've never had it where you think a nightmare is
a nightmareage and then it turns into real. It was
the first time, and I was it was so embarrassing.
The room was dead quiet. I think I woke up
from like the quiet, and I was like murmuring I
was diabetic into the microphone because I think and I'm
not I think I just wanted to generate some kind
of excuse that wasn't like my manner exic, you know,
(05:45):
like I just think that my brain was trying. So
they were all like, you're diabetic. I'm like what, No,
And then I ran into the bathroom because I was
so embarrassed, and I'm in the stall and I'm just like,
it's right off the stage and there's like hundreds of
people in this room. This is a big and they're
all eating dinner. They're all eating like they're shrink platters,
and it's dead silent on stage, and I'm in this
stoll and I'm by myself. No one's else is in there,
(06:05):
and I was just like, my life is over. Like
for some reason, I thought this would get out and
people would be like she's a liability, and it was
just felt it was wrapped up in my eating disorder
at the time too. Like fainting is like really like
I had been anarexic for so many years and never
fainted and kind of prided myself on it because that's
when people are like, you need help, you're fainting, and
I like never got to that level. So this is
the first time that I was like, oh god, my
(06:25):
disease is like ruining my life and making it so
I can't stand up like this is embarrassing, so I
would then I was in. Then I got surge of anger,
anger because I was so embarrassed, you know, like that
Dane Cook joke of like when you trip and you're
like what the fuck with like the side where you
get like mad at whatever's behind you, but you're really
just so embarrassed.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (06:44):
So then I just was like filled with anger because
I was just like, so fuck, it's too many feelings.
And I burst out the doors of the women's room
when I go fuck to this room of people that
are just like sitting there with it waiting for me
to come out.
Speaker 2 (06:59):
Because the worry I didn't end.
Speaker 4 (07:01):
And then I shot straight to the right and I
went into the kitchen to be like I ate my block.
Like I was just like crazy yelling I'm not this
type of person. But it was just an overwhelming I've
never felt so embarrassed. I've never had something happen to
me like that. I came to my senses inside I'm
like stuffing bread into my face in the kitchen and
(07:22):
then I'm like, oh my god, there's only one way
out of this kitchen, I gotta go back through. And
I was so already like calmed down to feel like
that was really embarrassing. How I like just that it happened,
but also how I responded like this is awful. And
so then I just sheepishly walked out of the room
and everyone like applauded, and I was like, oh my god,
(07:44):
and now I'm getting credit for like we're walking. This
was so embarrassing, and then I had to convince them
all I was okay to drive home. I'm like, no,
I swear, but I couldn't say what it was. I
was like, it is because I didn't eat all day,
Like I was just too embarrassed of it. But yeah,
and then that has happened to me one other time,
but I knew I like took an edible once in Montreal, actually,
but years and years later, and it hadn't had nothing
(08:06):
to do with my diet, but like an edible kicked
in as I was on stage because the show was
earlier than I thought, and I wanted to kick in
when I was on a treadmill, but instead I missed.
I think called me while I was on a treadmill
and where like you're up next, I'm like, what the fuck?
So I ran over to the theater and I was like,
I didn't eat again. I didn't eat and i'd you know,
a snack beforehand, and the edible kicked on in stage
(08:26):
and I was just like on stage and I go,
I think I'm gonna faint, so I'm gonna hold onto
the stool. I'm gonna be right back, but I do
need the house to come back. And I'm like not
really making sense, and Robert Kelly is downstairs after he
just brought me on stage. He's downstairs taking a shit
in the bowels of this like punting sens of this
like castle, you know, like Saint Kathleen or whatever it is.
So he was like midship and everyone's like, you're gonna
(08:48):
go back to the health scairs.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
She's could go faint.
Speaker 4 (08:51):
Then I walked off stage and I just chugged a coke.
That was easier because I was just like, I've been
through this before, this happens and it didn't. But just
totally fainting is was the It was worst moment of
my life.
Speaker 5 (09:00):
I think that's one is that when you started getting
help for your eating disorder, no you kept going yeah,
like because it wasn't rock bottom, I can go farther deeper.
Speaker 4 (09:12):
There wasn't time to hit rock bottom because I had
to go to Montreal Comedy Festival. I'm not going to
start like going to meetings right on that or whatever I.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
Needed to mean, like around that time where you like, oh,
you know.
Speaker 4 (09:21):
No, because it was off and on, Like mine would
just always switch. I'd go from like starving myself to
overexercising to then binging to throwing up to so it
just would like change, it would morph getting Actually, I
got actual help when I was really really sick and
almost died. Like that was years prior, when I was
nineteen twenty. I like really got out of the phases
where it was gonna kill me and then I which
(09:43):
is so great.
Speaker 2 (09:43):
It was like your hair falling out and stuff.
Speaker 4 (09:45):
Oh yeah, like I was hospitalized and stuff.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
It was.
Speaker 4 (09:47):
It was gnarly. I was gonna die.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
I didn't know it is that bad.
Speaker 4 (09:49):
Yeah, it was so bad, but I got out of
it and then I started doing stand up and work kind.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
Of bumming me out. I'm gonna be honest with you,
like I'm sorry, do you have any idea what I'm
going through right now.
Speaker 4 (09:58):
This has always happened to me when I start telling
my truth. My whole life is just me trying to
tell people this, and I'm just being like I was
having a really good day and I'm just trying to
keep it high vibes.
Speaker 2 (10:12):
I'm like, you wanted to know that's hard core. I
didn't know it was like hardcore like that.
Speaker 4 (10:18):
Yeah, dude, I got out of like I'm not going
to die from this so I can still do comedy,
because I cared enough about comedy that I was like,
I don't want to die from this. Before I was
like please kill me.
Speaker 2 (10:25):
This is hell.
Speaker 4 (10:25):
As I couldn't eat.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
Where did that come from?
Speaker 4 (10:28):
You know, being insecure, being a perfectionist OCD, losing a
friend of suicide in high school, Oh you didn't, being
scared to leave home, around college, not feeling like I
had any talent, not being able to pursue like it
was just stemmed from a lot of things of like
I need control in my life, and so it just
showed up in that way of like, oh, I'll just
(10:48):
be the best at not eating, and I really was.
I was quite good at it.
Speaker 2 (10:51):
Were you so tired and weak and angry?
Speaker 4 (10:53):
Oh, dude, it sucks so much. Whenever anyone sees someone
that is anarexic, please have a little compassion them. And
I know it's like so confusing because you're like, eat something.
All I can tell you is they can't. It doesn't
make sense. And I still don't think it makes sense.
When I see people that are that thin. I'm literally
like the same person I used to hate when they
would say it to me and like eat a cheeseburger.
But it's out of your control, and they're cold and
(11:17):
they're hungry, and you know how you get like a
little bit, you get hangry like Snickers commercials, picture that
all the time, NonStop, and it's never gonna end because
you're never gonna eat again. And you know that, and
so you're in for a lifetime of suffering. There is
no exit.
Speaker 3 (11:30):
How do you.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
Survive like that?
Speaker 4 (11:32):
It's like, it sucks, dude.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
You need nutrients, Your cells need nutrients.
Speaker 4 (11:37):
Oh and I was I don't know. Yeah, it shocks me.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
Now.
Speaker 4 (11:41):
Now I'm in a part of my recovery. It's not
like perfect, but I thank god. I'm in a phase
of like I never get to starve, so if I'm
hungry I like have to eat. I don't get to like,
I don't get to answer that little part of my
brain where it's like, this feels pretty good. You're not
eating right now and you're getting that lightheaded feeling and
that feels that you're using weight, Like I don't get
to chase that anymore. So that's like my rule for myself.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
What do you do intuitive? Whatever's intuitive?
Speaker 4 (12:06):
Yeah, because that but that leads to you being like
I only need to once a day and give an
anorexic I, you know, intermittent fasting diet and she will
run with it until it's anarexia.
Speaker 3 (12:17):
Sure.
Speaker 4 (12:18):
Yeah, because that's what I loved. When intermittent fasting came out.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
I was like, I'm like, never inrexia is back.
Speaker 4 (12:24):
I mean I could be airexic again. Yeah, it's back, baby,
And now it's got a name, and Joe Rogan's talking
about it and everyone who's anyone knows that this is
like you know, Tim Ferriss, this is the what wait
he's telling us to do. So it felt I got
back into it in like twenty twenty and then I
got out of it again, but it always comes back.
But yeah, that was I think in terms of bombing.
That just that's the most uncomfortable I've ever been on stage,
(12:46):
and I felt really just bad.
Speaker 3 (12:52):
With a redre with a recondre.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
What's the most wasted you've ever been on stage?
Speaker 3 (13:07):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (13:07):
Man, that's a really good question.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
Have you been wasted on stage? Yeah? For sure? Like
what stone drunk?
Speaker 4 (13:13):
What drunk? I used to I quit drinking when I
was twenty seven, but before then I would get pretty
damn wasted and not really ever on stage.
Speaker 2 (13:21):
I remember we used to call you wasted, Nikki.
Speaker 4 (13:23):
No, did you really?
Speaker 3 (13:25):
No?
Speaker 2 (13:25):
No, I'm not.
Speaker 4 (13:27):
Even kidding you. I like, that's why I quit drinking.
And I'm like, this is not a good look. And
people will start talking about how you're no fun to
be around, or you're like obnoxious, or you make you
make too many friends and you like make too many
promises and you're too fun.
Speaker 2 (13:40):
When were you like trash hold on stage?
Speaker 4 (13:42):
I don't think on stage I can remember because I
used to get blackout drunk, you know, so it's like
I don't even know that i'd remember it if if
I were. I think that there have been times that
I'm like so high on stage, but that's always like
pretty fun and in like a challenge.
Speaker 5 (13:55):
So all the blackouts, you don't remember any of them?
Do you remember being super Stone on stage?
Speaker 3 (14:00):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (14:01):
Yeah, definitely Stone. But I think stoned is like I
don't get anxious from doing stand up anymore. So sometimes
I smoke a little weed beforehand, because I like, I
think the feeling of anxiety of being like I'm nervous
about this performance like makes me a better comedian and
a better performer because I care. So sometimes I smoke
a little weed so that I get like, oh, what
if something happens. It feels like I'm kind of walking
(14:22):
on a tight rope out there, and like whoa, I'm
like controlling this train of thought, which is like you're
so high right now, and I have to do this
train of thought which is like what are you gonna
say next? And then also like what am I saying
right now? And it feels like I'm like an acrobat,
like I feel I feel alive. When I feel like
I'm shoplifting or something, it feels like I'm getting away
with something.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
Have you ever like done like a fucking hundred milligram
chocolate chip cookie or something?
Speaker 3 (14:47):
Stage? I?
Speaker 4 (14:48):
Oh, fuck man, No, My biggest fear is being out
of control in front of people, like anyone witnessing. That's
why fainting was so awful. So I would never do that.
Speaker 2 (15:00):
Like when Fergie Peter pants, Oh my god, dude.
Speaker 4 (15:04):
I wouldn't mind that. There's been times on stage where
I've almost had like, okay, so women when we're on
our period, like sometimes you just start it or you
in the middle that you run out of tampons, and
so you make a pad with like you roll up
toilet paper around your hand and you make like a
makeshift pad with toilet paper that will soak enough of it,
like unless you're like, you know, hemorrhaging. This is disgusting,
(15:25):
So I know, I'm so sorry, and so you put
it in your underwear. But one time I was on
stage and it was I was just wearing a song,
so it's just like a little string and it's not
like a whole underwear thing holding it in, and it
was starting to fall out and like unripe, like a
bloody tpeing coming yeah on stage, But I caught it
in my thighs. I closed them shut and was able
(15:47):
to like wiggle and walk up stage. So that has
happened where I've and I've been like, what would I
fucking say? What would I do?
Speaker 2 (15:53):
I don't even know? But you should have just let
it drop and been like, who wants some vampire tea?
Speaker 4 (15:59):
I think I would. I think I would relad into
it now, But at the time it was like the
most mortifying thing that could ever happen. Now, I don't
care if my string's hanging out, It's like who who cares?
Speaker 3 (16:12):
Who cares?
Speaker 4 (16:12):
As one's like your tampon string, It's like, oh, so
I use a tampon, Like it doesn't I don't. I
don't want to say, like panty lines, people are like
your panty lines showing It's like, yeah, I don't want
to get shit on this pair of pants. I want
or I don't want to, Like is that true?
Speaker 2 (16:26):
Like panty lines are shit, but like I.
Speaker 4 (16:29):
Don't want to get like pussy juice on my pants,
So I'm wearing underwear like most people do. What is
the crime?
Speaker 2 (16:36):
Are panty lines like taboo or something?
Speaker 4 (16:38):
Yeah, pant That's why girls wear thongs because you don't
want to see like it's slicing your butt cheek in half,
and it kind of makes like for a bet, you know,
it's better just like look like you're like I could
be wearing nothing under this, and so we wear these
uncomfortable thongs, which I'm getting used to now. It's like flossing,
like you have to get calloused a little bit.
Speaker 2 (16:53):
That's like girls make rules to themselves. I don't know,
do guys notice that? Is that?
Speaker 3 (16:57):
For?
Speaker 4 (16:57):
No, they don't. They don't give a fuck about a
panty line. I mean, I think it does look more
aesthetically pleasing in general, like it's kind of a subconscious thing.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
But I don't think generally you guys don't notice anything.
Guys are like I want beef, stood you really don't.
Did you see Fast the Furious seventy five the car
went room room when the other car went do we
We're not like pantylin gross.
Speaker 4 (17:24):
You don't care about our nails. It's like that's the thing.
It's so funny.
Speaker 2 (17:27):
No, we're like huh. We're like, I hope you play
with my wiener later.
Speaker 4 (17:33):
But some guys are like feet guys, so then you
have to manicure if they're like looking at your feet
extra hard.
Speaker 5 (17:38):
Like one percent of guys their feet guys. Yeah, I know,
so Quentin Tarantino and Nick Cannon, and that's it. I'm
not I'm not paying attention a girl of chicken feet.
I wouldn't even know.
Speaker 2 (17:49):
Wow, okay, I'd be like, do you like me? Can
we kiss on the lips?
Speaker 4 (17:56):
In relationships? Would that be a thing that girls would get? Maddy,
you about like you don't have attention to detail? Would they?
Has that ever been a complaint for you in a relationship?
Speaker 5 (18:05):
Probably of one of fucking one of five thousand. I
won French fries with my beef stew.
Speaker 4 (18:16):
Yeah, you guys are simpler. It must be nice.
Speaker 3 (18:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (18:20):
I'm at the age now where my horniness, my hungriness,
and my sleepiness are all equal.
Speaker 5 (18:27):
So if I'm like not getting laid, I'm like, well,
I'm getting French fries and I'm getting eight hours of sleep.
Hell yeah, right, that's like as sick as like getting
laid to me, Like, dude, I got eight hours of
sleep in my twenties, Dude, I got laid last night.
Now I'm forty, I'm like, dude, I got eight hours.
Speaker 3 (18:43):
Of sleep last night.
Speaker 4 (18:44):
That's so funny. You got to do that as a bit.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
Write that down, dude, I had French fries.
Speaker 3 (18:49):
Last night.
Speaker 2 (18:49):
Oh helly. My friends are like, are you for real? Like,
hell yeah, I'm.
Speaker 4 (18:53):
In a relationship and I will there will be a
moment in the evening where you choose food or fucking
like it's gonna go either way.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
It can't be both, dude, I'll be honest. I think
my test house roone is going down because you have food.
Speaker 3 (19:05):
Is bitch.
Speaker 4 (19:05):
I always use food. Not only have I chosen food
and turned down the thing that's free right in front
of me. I've paid eighty dollars to have this food
delivered to me and driven across town, Like I waste
money on the thing that I'm choosing over the freezing
in front of me. It's crazy because it's food is
so fucking good. But then yeah, you get too full
(19:26):
the fuck TFTF.
Speaker 2 (19:27):
Yeah, God, I have a story. I'll tell you. I
have a story.
Speaker 3 (19:30):
I'll tell you.
Speaker 2 (19:31):
I'll find that is too hot for TV. That's a
perfect way. I was about to have like the sex
of my life, but I ordered a fried chicken sagwich,
first ate it, and then passed out before before No, okay,
I'll just tell it. I was about to have group sex,
and I've never had group sex, and I was like,
it is on. I was like dating this girl that
(19:51):
was particularly freaky, and like, right before the other two
gals came over, we ordered fried chicken sandwiches. We ate
the fried chicken sandwiches, both passed out and like, I
woke up the next morning to like fifty five missed
calls and I was like, I just missed out on
the best sexual potentially the best.
Speaker 6 (20:11):
Sexual experience of my life because I hate like half
a sandwich and passed out drunk. It was like I
was like, and I was like, and it will never
come back again. I was like, I'll never be.
Speaker 4 (20:22):
No, maybe, but I don't think it was meant to be.
If that really mattered to you, you would not have
chosen sleep and food were you so drunk and tired.
Speaker 5 (20:30):
I was drunk, going through a breakup, hooked up, and
I like got back with this.
Speaker 4 (20:37):
Gal that you would have caught AIDS that night. This
is all meant to be. I'm serious, Let's just think
of it that way. I was like, tying one had
not to be judgmental of anyone with AIDS. Everyone wants
it and it's fine to be to have it, but
what's cool with it? I'm just trying to be accepting
(20:59):
of those with AIDS. Lets thing, we all we all
are cool with you having AIDS and we wanted to,
but yeah, we do try to avoid it normally. That's
I think that's meant to be. But you'll have group
sex again.
Speaker 3 (21:11):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (21:12):
I think that was a sign.
Speaker 4 (21:13):
Yeah, maybe it wasn't a thing you should do that
you need to have an life.
Speaker 3 (21:16):
It was like on.
Speaker 2 (21:17):
I was like, it's on, And the gal I was
with was like, hell yeah, she was like wilder than me?
Speaker 4 (21:23):
Did your relationship last long? After? That?
Speaker 3 (21:26):
Was that?
Speaker 4 (21:26):
Like a good relationships?
Speaker 2 (21:27):
I was getting out of what I was like, Oh,
the girl that you were with though, Like that gal
I was with that night was like a gal I
hooked up with before I dated the gal that grew
up in my face. So I was like, I'm going
back to her.
Speaker 5 (21:38):
Because you were a dick to me, and like oh yeah,
and we're going we're having a wild hair up our.
Speaker 2 (21:44):
Ass kind of night and and uh and then I
ate half a sandwich.
Speaker 4 (21:49):
God, those two girls were coming over to fuck you guys?
How did you find them? How did you know they
were down?
Speaker 3 (21:54):
Like?
Speaker 4 (21:54):
How does this all get organized.
Speaker 2 (21:56):
You know what we have to break for commercial?
Speaker 4 (21:59):
Real quick, guy, that's really coincidental.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
Yeah, I've never brought for commercial either. I just usually
record through.
Speaker 4 (22:11):
I just want to know how you organize one. It
just sounds fun.
Speaker 2 (22:14):
Well there's clubs, well, of course.
Speaker 4 (22:16):
There's clubs fet life, and there's thrinder.
Speaker 2 (22:20):
Well there's clubs called strip clubs.
Speaker 4 (22:22):
Oh dull okay, that's that would be my first guess. Actually,
if I would have thought even for a second. Yeah,
I love strip clubs.
Speaker 2 (22:29):
This is why I didn't want to poison your virgineers.
Speaker 4 (22:31):
With my You want to hear what I did. This
is one of the coolest things I've ever done because
I love strippers. But I don't like going to strippers
strip clubs because I don't want like them to like
try to flirt with me. Like I don't like when
it's like, oh, she's like everyone's gonna watch them be lesbians.
I like don't like I want to be like in
control of it. I don't want to be like the
person in the chair.
Speaker 2 (22:48):
Yeah, I don't like it. It is my birthday.
Speaker 4 (22:52):
Yeah, I wish I could be like invisible strip clubs
because I like watching guys become that kind of like
they're kind of stupid and these women are all like
walk round powerfully. But my boyfriend was in London and
I was not gonna be able to see him for
his birthday, and it was like kind of a bummer
because I had to get surgery and so it was
just like I just can't be there. It's gonna be fun,
You're gonna go out with your friends, but I wish
(23:13):
I could be there and that. What he didn't know
was I was gonna plan it and I was having
surgery soon after that, but I was going to just
come in for twelve hours and leave the next.
Speaker 2 (23:21):
Day, and we're getting surgery in London.
Speaker 4 (23:23):
No, I was getting surgery in Boston. So that's why
I couldn't go to London. It was like, this was
on a Monday night and I was getting surgery on Thursday.
So I was like, I just can't make it, babe,
I'm so sorry. But then I decided to go to London.
I talked to his friends, I told that he was
with and I was like, Okay, I am coming to town.
Bring him to a strip club, get him a lap dance,
and then I'm gonna come out dress as a stripper
in this dark room and like surprise him tight and
(23:45):
is so good right, so be cause I like when
he goes to strip clubs, Like I kind of been
into that kind of thing, so I was like, this
will be perfect, and I know he likes them. So
they went and got him and brought him to one
and I went. I flew to London that day and
like went to Zara and got like this stripperiest outfit,
which you can surprisingly find at Zara, a pretty good
stripper outfit.
Speaker 2 (24:03):
Tell me something I don't know, honey, and then got
a wit.
Speaker 4 (24:06):
I had already bought a wig, and I went and
I went in there early and met with some strippers
to like tell them the plan, and they were like, okay,
we'll get them. And I didn't know this in London
that lap dances they can't touch you, so you just
get a room with someone and then they just like
dance in front of you, which is like who would
pay for that.
Speaker 5 (24:24):
Constitution's legal in it and the strippers can't touch you.
The cat then you can pay a woman to have
sex with you.
Speaker 4 (24:31):
Yeah, I mean it seemed to be on that, you know,
that kind of system. But they were very adamant, like
we can't touch them, which bummed me out because I
wanted to walk in while he's like getting a lap
dance from these girls and be like I'm gonna come
in now, you know, like and just be a sassy
stripper to be like get off ladies, and then it's
his girlfriend. It'll be fun. But they're just like dancing
in front of them and they come to get me,
and then I walk into the room that he's in
(24:51):
with these two girls and they're like, here's our friend,
and he like gets up to like shake my hand.
It was really nice. It was like beg it to
be the way that you would want your boyfriend to
greet a stripper.
Speaker 2 (25:03):
Yeah, yeah, passed. He passed the test.
Speaker 4 (25:04):
He was like, hey, I'm Chris, nice to meet you,
and I go I'm nicky, and he was just like
what the fuck? And I was topless too, because I
wasn't gonna be topless because I was like, I don't
want to be topless around other people. But both the
strippers were topless, so right before I went in, I
was like, I'm just gonna like commit to this. So
it was really fun that I got to be a
stripper for a little bit. But as soon as I
got up.
Speaker 2 (25:23):
To him, then his wife came in and you were like,
who is this.
Speaker 4 (25:29):
As soon as I touched him, though, the security guards
were like, get off him because they thought I was
a real stripper. So it was pretty flattered.
Speaker 2 (25:35):
Wow, congrats, thanks.
Speaker 4 (25:37):
I was like, yeah, I got it, and then we
then we got out of there, but it was it
was really fun. But I love strip clubs and have
no problem with you going there, and and and uh,
I think it's cool too.
Speaker 2 (25:48):
Yeah, yeah, I feels are fun. I felt particularly shy
and vulnerable. It's telling such a front of my co workers.
Speaker 4 (25:58):
Oh yeah, that that could be it. That's always the
thing about podcasts is like if we're having a conversation
that we would have if we were alone, but there's
right now four other people just listening quietly. So it
just like if we were just thinking of an audience,
we maybe wouldn't care, but like just having one person
be there's a couple of people in the same I'm
alone in my room, thank god, but like I know
(26:19):
that on zoom and like in your room, there's there's
other people there.
Speaker 2 (26:22):
I'm like in an office right now, you know what
I mean, Like, I'm.
Speaker 4 (26:24):
Like, it's so weird. Yes, okay, well thank you for sharing.
Speaker 3 (26:28):
That with us.
Speaker 2 (26:29):
Four I mean yeah, Also, the end of the story
just be like taking a nap.
Speaker 5 (26:34):
It's at the end of the story was like, hell yeah,
I got fucking lame, like hardcore.
Speaker 2 (26:39):
I gizzed everywhere. Then you'd be like, ah, geez. But
the end of the stories, I hate a sandwich and
I took an eight hour nap. It's like super perfectly lame.
I was trying to be like, I.
Speaker 4 (26:53):
Don't know, you were so almost cool.
Speaker 2 (26:56):
Yeah, I was so almost cool and I was close lame,
middle aged man.
Speaker 3 (27:05):
With Aridrey.
Speaker 5 (27:16):
With Aridrey, what's the worst bomb you've ever seen that
you would you didn't experience personally?
Speaker 4 (27:21):
But okay, can I just I'm not gonna name names,
but I saw one name names you can I saw
one recently, dude. It was so funny because I had
never seen this guy before.
Speaker 2 (27:31):
We can also bleep the name.
Speaker 4 (27:32):
Well, I saw this guy. I don't think we need
to say his name, because it honestly doesn't. It's not
a no. I didn't know how popular this guy was
when I saw him. I never seen him before, but
he's a big deal and he's more of like a
TikTok guy. But it's not Matt Ryf either.
Speaker 2 (27:48):
Can you text me after this?
Speaker 4 (27:49):
Yeah, I'll tell you exactly. It's not even going to
be that exciting because you'll be able to see what
I'm talking about almost ammediately.
Speaker 2 (27:54):
I'll cut it out. Just tell me now.
Speaker 3 (27:56):
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (27:57):
Exactly, but he's a bit like he's got a lot
of followers. He's got like he sells out theaters, like
he does well for himself, and he's like, I didn't
know he was a big deal. He's actually really nice.
But I went up. I was at the lat Factory
one night not that long ago, and he no one
in the crowd really knew of his fame and is
he just was bombing so badly, and there was a
guy that was heckling him, and because he's a crowd
work guy and so that's his bread and butter, but
(28:18):
he just lost, like he couldn't handle this guy. That
was just I forget, I really forget the context of it.
But it was so hard to watch and so uncomfortable
to be in the room with, Like it was a massive,
massive bomb for very for a very long time he
which seemed very shaken by it. He couldn't keep he
couldn't get it back up, and I got the impression that,
(28:39):
you know, the other comics in the room it meant
something to him that we were witnessing this, And I
felt really bad. I almost wanted to leave because I
just didn't want him to know that I knew that
he like sucked because the first time I'm seeing him,
so I just think this guy sucks. Right, turns out
he's like very good at crowd work, and it's which
I do think is a talent that I don't have.
But this was just an offset for him.
Speaker 5 (28:56):
This crowd work now the cool thing because when we
were coming up, like I would do crowd work and
people and people will be like, don't do crowd work.
Speaker 2 (29:03):
Crowd work's easy, you're not allow It was like, you're
not allowed to do crowd work.
Speaker 4 (29:06):
Since when is something that's branded easy, Like not anything
that's easy, people go you can't do it. It's like,
actually it works, though it sorry comes easy to me,
Like I don't. It doesn't come easy to me. Crowd
work to me is like very scary and difficult. I
don't even do it. So I think when it's done well,
it's really impressive. I think when it's like worthless clips
on Instagram.
Speaker 2 (29:26):
I'm so discouraged. I remember Yea was relag.
Speaker 4 (29:30):
Because people were threatened by it, because it's it's I
think people that are I'm a joke writer, they're like,
I don't really, I'm not good off the cuff, and
I'm speaking for me. We're like, we want to make
you feel bad about this thing that you do well,
and so we're like, if you do that, you're a
hack because we can't do it and where you must
write a joke and prepare. So I think that's where
it comes from. But now it's more acceptable as it
(29:51):
should be. I think it's a cool talent.
Speaker 2 (29:53):
I think it's cool too. I always thought it was cool.
I was like, why not, why not be.
Speaker 4 (29:56):
Spentatous and Sadius is fucking love it.
Speaker 2 (29:58):
It works, gives a fuck.
Speaker 4 (30:00):
But if something's easy, people go it's not real stand
up like talking about sex too much. It's too easy.
It's like, is that easy?
Speaker 2 (30:07):
I never thought it was easy. Yeah, it's not easy.
I never thought it was easy. That's the criticism that
it got.
Speaker 4 (30:13):
You're right, that is it. Let's make it clear. It's
not easy.
Speaker 2 (30:16):
It's not easy, but people say it is.
Speaker 4 (30:18):
And that's what I say about when people brand a
lot of comedians as sex comics, like myself of like
all they talk about sex or like they're just raunchy.
And I think people think you do it because it's easy,
and it is easy for me to talk about my
sex life and make fun of it. But I don't
think it's easy for most people. And I do think
that is therein is some kind of talent whether I you.
Speaker 2 (30:39):
Know, nothing's easy, nothing's easy.
Speaker 4 (30:41):
Comedy is hard, but people like to say things are
easy because they can't do it. And it's like, maybe
you're not a dirty comic because you don't have the
balls to be one. Maybe not because it's so easy
to be a dirty comic. Maybe it easy. You're not
one because it's not easy for you, whereas being a
clean comic is not easy for me, but just because
it's easy. I don't want to watch people I like
do things that are hard for them. I don't want
(31:01):
to watch Jerry Seinfeld play the Obo like just because
that would be hard for him. I'm not like, wow,
like doing comedy is easy for him. It takes a
lot of work, But like, why does everyone we always
want to see someone doing something that's so hard, you know.
Speaker 2 (31:14):
Like I don't know.
Speaker 4 (31:15):
That's what bugs me when people say it's easy for her.
It's like, yeah, that's me because I'm inclined to do
this thing. That's you know, I'm going in the direction
of what my personality is, Like I talk about sex.
But so I saw this guy bomb, yeah, and I
think it was really good because he'll never be impressive
to me after seeing that, Like he will never I
will never have I will never respect him.
Speaker 3 (31:36):
Why is that good?
Speaker 4 (31:37):
Because I think sometimes when it's not like I will
ever I respect him him. I'll never be intimidated by
him because I've seen him faint essentially, you know what
I mean. Like he'll never be able to show boat
around me or act like he's.
Speaker 2 (31:51):
You've seen his human moment.
Speaker 4 (31:52):
Yeah, I know he can suck sometimes.
Speaker 2 (31:54):
So like it like my friend was like, anytime you
want to talk to a hawk girl, just imagine them
taking a shit. We all do it.
Speaker 4 (32:01):
I saw this guy take it dump, and many people
have seen me take it dump, and it's so you
can't get out of your head. But because it was
the first thing I saw of him, it's cemented. It's
kind of like you can't go back to your home
club because you bomb there so much. That's all they
remember you from.
Speaker 2 (32:12):
Yeah, yeah, is being.
Speaker 4 (32:14):
Awkward on stage. So I think that bomb I was like,
I felt bad for him, but it was ever since then,
he's killed, absolutely murdered, like hard to follow murdered. But
I'm always like, no, I saw you fucking so bad
and you have no exit strategy. There was no rescuing you.
It was so bad and I hope that never happens
(32:35):
to me again, but it definitely will. And that's the
part about stand up comedy that's fun.
Speaker 3 (32:41):
I have to go.
Speaker 2 (32:42):
I have to too?
Speaker 4 (32:44):
Is that? Is that the buzzer?
Speaker 2 (32:48):
Uh nik much?
Speaker 4 (32:50):
I love you, Eric, thank you.
Speaker 2 (32:52):
It was so fun to talk when you get out
of the prison that is St.
Speaker 3 (32:57):
Louis.
Speaker 4 (32:57):
I love my mom and dad not gonna do it.
Speaker 2 (33:00):
Please come hang out with me. I would love it,
and let's go watch people bomb.
Speaker 4 (33:05):
We're friends.
Speaker 2 (33:08):
I thought we were friends until you said we're friends.
I just decided that we are.
Speaker 4 (33:14):
You should have questioned it before.
Speaker 1 (33:20):
With a re condre all right, listen up, we got
something special for you. Got a burning story that you're
itching to tell about when you bombed or absolutely failed
in life.
Speaker 2 (33:29):
Now's your chance to tell me all about it, Mabel.
Speaker 1 (33:32):
I want to hear your worst, most cringe worthy what
the fuck was I thinking?
Speaker 2 (33:37):
What just happened?
Speaker 3 (33:38):
Moment?
Speaker 1 (33:39):
So pick up your phone and dial seven one six bombing.
That's seven one six two six six twenty four sixty
four and leave me a voicemail and.
Speaker 2 (33:48):
We might just play it on a future episode.
Speaker 1 (33:50):
Bombing with Eric Andre is brought to you by Will
Ferrell's Big Money Players Network and iHeart Podcast. Our executive
producer is Olivia Aguilar. Our producer is Bei Wang. Our
research is and is David Carliner. Our editor and sound
designers Andy Harris, and our art is by Dylan Vanderbergh.
Go rate us five stars and drop a review on
your podcast app a choice
Host
Eric Andre
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