Phone Tap: Spare Room Roulette

Today’s Phone Tap victim listed a room for rent online so we’re using every Phone Tap character in our collective bag to put his patience to the ultimate test!

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
It's time for your phone tap.

Speaker 2 (00:01):
And if you put a room for rent up on
Craigslist at a great price, the plus is a lot
of people will probably see that ad.

Speaker 3 (00:10):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (00:10):
The minus is a lot of people are probably going
to see that ad. And in this case, we have
many personalities on this show, so I don't think this
dude is ready for the onslaught of characters who would
absolutely love to live with him.

Speaker 1 (00:27):
In your phone tap.

Speaker 4 (00:28):
Right now, it's any.

Speaker 1 (00:34):
Hello, Hey my cousin. Theirdo says you got a spare room.

Speaker 3 (00:39):
Yes, there is a spare room for rent. Yeah.

Speaker 5 (00:41):
So, like, look, I just got out, so like I
kind of need to like get in.

Speaker 1 (00:46):
You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (00:48):
Got out? Well, I'm sorry, I don't know what you mean.

Speaker 5 (00:50):
I got out like into the world, like I'm free man. Okay, Yes,
So my like my question to you is if I
rent the room, I'm gonna be there a lot because
not because I want to, but because I kind of
half do you know what I'm saying?

Speaker 3 (01:05):
You know what I do greatly appreciate the call, and
I wish you the best of luck, but the room
has been reckoned.

Speaker 5 (01:11):
Hey wait, I'm minute at homes like I know how
to make wine from a toilet.

Speaker 1 (01:14):
I can't show you.

Speaker 6 (01:16):
Hello ah, Hello, Hello, Hello, how are you.

Speaker 1 (01:28):
I'm great. My name's Alan. I'm calling about the room
for rent all.

Speaker 3 (01:34):
Yes, there is a room.

Speaker 7 (01:36):
Perfect because I got to get out of my senior
home that my family put me in.

Speaker 3 (01:42):
Uh home. I'm sorry, that's.

Speaker 7 (01:44):
Right, I'm out of there. You never spoke to me.
If anybody else you sound kind of young. By the way,
maybe we could wing man for each other down at
Joanne Fabric.

Speaker 3 (01:57):
Okay, Alan, you can help.

Speaker 1 (01:58):
Me pull some tail.

Speaker 3 (02:00):
You need to stay cut. I will got a good
place for you.

Speaker 7 (02:03):
My one rule is if you see my cane hanging
off the door handle, then don't come in.

Speaker 1 (02:10):
I'm listening.

Speaker 3 (02:12):
They're probably looking you kidding me.

Speaker 1 (02:14):
I'm not going back to those prudes.

Speaker 3 (02:16):
You gotta go back down.

Speaker 7 (02:17):
If you were me, you wouldn't say that. Sending me
back to a senior home. You'd get no nookie.

Speaker 3 (02:23):
I wouldn't be advising you come here either.

Speaker 7 (02:26):
Hey, bukaroo, you need to treat a World War One
veteran with more respect.

Speaker 3 (02:32):
There's no Look, there's no World War One veterans, sure
is no.

Speaker 7 (02:36):
There isn't I'm gonna come down over to your place
and ahead with one of my walkers that I just virtue.

Speaker 3 (02:44):
Right, I'm hanging up now, goodbye.

Speaker 1 (02:47):
Wow, what a sissy?

Speaker 4 (02:51):
Hello Oi, I'm calling about the dems Die bunker.

Speaker 3 (02:57):
Not a bunker, it's a spare bedroom.

Speaker 4 (02:59):
Okay, call it what you like. My question is can
I board up the windows so no one can see in?

Speaker 3 (03:04):
So? No, no, you can't. You're not going to board
anything up.

Speaker 4 (03:08):
Can I install anti Wi Fi software which would make
Wi Fi not look stupid?

Speaker 3 (03:13):
No, there's no adding or altering or changing.

Speaker 4 (03:16):
I like you'll fire you and I I'm about to
be bunk mates. Oh bugger, he just went a won.

Speaker 3 (03:28):
Hello. Yes, Hello, yeah, Hello, Hello? Who is this whom
I speaking to?

Speaker 4 (03:43):
I just want to know I knew Alona.

Speaker 3 (03:46):
I'm sorry I don't understand you for you calling about
the room.

Speaker 1 (03:50):
Yes, yes, I don't, I don't.

Speaker 3 (03:54):
I'm sorry. I don't follow you at all. Take whatever
you have out of your mouth, or don't call me by.
I don't care.

Speaker 1 (04:05):
Is there a machine?

Speaker 7 (04:12):
Hi, it's Ellen again. I just got one more quick
question for you. I couldn't tell from the photo. Is
there a mirror above the bed?

Speaker 1 (04:27):
Gosh, what a freaking snowflake.

Speaker 5 (04:31):
Hello, valutations. My name is Edward and I am looking
for a room. Please I pause for dramatic effect. My
speech coach told me that makes your words more powerful.

Speaker 3 (04:48):
There is a room?

Speaker 1 (04:50):
Well, when'd you look at that?

Speaker 4 (04:52):
Now?

Speaker 5 (04:52):
How many females are allowed in the room at once?

Speaker 3 (04:56):
Stroll by? Sometimes?

Speaker 5 (04:57):
You know I have girls over and just well I'm
not actually I've never had a girl over, but I'm
planning someday.

Speaker 3 (05:05):
Are you done well?

Speaker 5 (05:07):
And I was gonna say something else when it sounds
like you're already checked out on me, kind of like, oh,
the girls I invite over.

Speaker 3 (05:12):
So it's not surprising.

Speaker 5 (05:15):
Do any girls already live there?

Speaker 3 (05:19):
No, sir, Thank you, sir, goodbye?

Speaker 5 (05:21):
All right my mind?

Speaker 1 (05:26):
Hello, Hey man, is this Andrew?

Speaker 3 (05:30):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (05:31):
Hey?

Speaker 2 (05:31):
Do I feel like we owe you a big apology
from our entire radio show. God, your best friend Dennis
asked us to do a prank call on you, man.

Speaker 4 (05:47):
Yeah, we did more than one.

Speaker 1 (05:48):
Yeah, but the last hour kind of spamming you, hey, man.

Speaker 5 (05:54):
Like, are you sure like that room's unavailable or whatever?
Because like I really need it.

Speaker 3 (05:58):
You're free over?

Speaker 5 (06:02):
Wake up every morning with poom taps weekday mornings on
the twenties Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning,